Burnistoun
Removing physical buttons leaves passengers stranded when speech-recognition software fails to recognize regional accents and rejects exit commands.
AI-assisted summary of Burnistoun - Voice Recognition Lift — original source. Check the original for full context.
Source published:
Key ideas
- Two Scottish men find themselves stranded in a buttonless, voice-activated elevator that repeatedly fails to recognize their native pronunciation of the eleventh floor. (0:09)
- Desperate attempts to trick the speech recognition software using simulated American and English accents collapse into mockery over poor impressions. (0:09)
- The elevator's prerecorded prompt requiring users to politely say 'Open the doors, please' incites deeper fury and refusal to submit to an inanimate machine. (2:01)
- Following an unhinged tirade against the voice actress and frantic chants of 'Scotland!', the elevator ignores the floor request and simply announces it is going up. (2:01)
Detailed notes
## Background Published on YouTube by Burnistoun on May 25, 2015, this video presents a comedy sketch from the series starring Iain Connell and Robert Florence. The show notes credit the two lead actors and succinctly reference the sketch's central premise with the word 'Eleven.'
## TL;DR Two Scottish men enter an elevator without buttons, only to find that it operates via voice recognition technology that cannot comprehend their Scottish accents. Seeking to reach the eleventh floor, their repeated shouts of 'Eleven' fail, prompting disastrous attempts at disguise using flawed American and English accents. When the system patronizingly asks them to remain calm and demands they say 'please' to exit, one of the passengers descends into an explosive, nationalistic rage against the machine. After an exhausted, manic tirade directed at the automated speaker, the elevator disregards their floor choice entirely and neutrally announces that it is going up.
## Atmosphere & style The sketch is a fast-paced, claustrophobic satire of modern technological frustration, propelled by sharp comedic timing and escalating hysteria. The dynamic between the two men is defined by dry Scottish cynicism and rapid-fire bickering, contrasting petty squabbles about terrible accents with surreal arguments over whether one can be racist toward an appliance. Watching the scene unfold feels intensely chaotic and cathartic, as the automated voice's relentlessly polite, mechanical composure pushes a cornered human ego into complete, full-throated meltdown.
## Bulletin - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) Two Scottish men find themselves stranded in a buttonless, voice-activated elevator that repeatedly fails to recognize their native pronunciation of the eleventh floor. - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) Desperate attempts to trick the speech recognition software using simulated American and English accents collapse into mockery over poor impressions. - [02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) The elevator's prerecorded prompt requiring users to politely say 'Open the doors, please' incites deeper fury and refusal to submit to an inanimate machine. - [02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) Following an unhinged tirade against the voice actress and frantic chants of 'Scotland!', the elevator ignores the floor request and simply announces it is going up.
## Key takeaways - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) The elevator lacks physical buttons entirely, relying solely on voice recognition technology. - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) The passengers immediately foresee disaster, noting that voice-recognition systems notoriously fail to accommodate Scottish accents. - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) The men attempt to reach the eleventh floor, but every repetition of 'Eleven' is met with a polite request to repeat. - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) An effort to disguise their cadence with an American accent is ridiculed by the companion for sounding distinctly Irish. - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) A subsequent attempt at an English accent is mocked for resembling Dick Van Dyke's infamous accent in Mary Poppins. - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) Frustration boils over into shouting at the machine to go back to its own country, leading to an argument over being racist toward a lift. - [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) One passenger stubbornly resolves to assert his identity, vowing to keep repeating the floor in broad Scottish until the machine complies. - [02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) The system's automated instruction to state the floor in a 'clear and calm manner' is taken as proof the manufacturers anticipated enraged Scottish users. - [02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) To exit without choosing a floor, the system mandates that users state the exact phrase: 'Open the doors, please.' - [02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) The demand for politeness provokes profound offense, with one passenger refusing on principle to beg the machine. - [02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) Even when the compliant passenger mutters the required polite exit phrase, the elevator fails to open and merely repeats its call for calm. - [02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) The patronizing prompts drive a passenger into making extreme, vengeful threats directed at the American voice actress who voiced the system. - [02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) A final display of nationalistic rage against the metal walls concludes with the elevator ignoring their destination and nonchalantly announcing 'Going up.'
## Detailed walkthrough ### [00:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=9s) Trapped by Voice Recognition and Failed Accents
Two men step into an elevator only to realize with immediate dread that there are no physical buttons on the control panel. One explains that voice recognition technology has been installed in the lift, prompting instantaneous skepticism from the other, who dryly points out the fundamental flaw of deploying speech recognition in Scotland. When asked if he has ever tested such technology before, he warns bluntly, “No, they don’t do Scottish accents.” Their destination is the eleventh floor, but their straightforward Scottish pronunciation meets immediate failure as the automated female voice repeatedly chimes in, “Could you please repeat that?”
Frustrated by the lift's refusal to register repeated shouts of "Eleven!", the pair decide to disguise their natural cadence. One suggests putting on an American accent, but his flat attempt is instantly mocked by his companion, who points out that it sounds entirely Irish: “Sounds Irish, no American, that, doesn’t it? Eleven! America, that, Dublin?” When urged to switch tactics and try an English accent instead, his strained, affected pronunciation only earns ridicule: “You from the same part of England as Dick Van Dyke?” The automated system continues to politely patronize them, requesting that they speak slowly and clearly.
Tempers fray into an absurd argument when one of the men starts berating the machine as an unwelcome foreigner, shouting, “If you don’t understand the lingo, away back home to your own country!” His friend immediately calls out the ridiculousness of the outburst, asking, “How can you be racist to a lift?” Undeterred and refusing to compromise his identity, the first man stubbornly repeats the floor number over and over in his broad Scottish brogue, defiantly declaring, “I’m going to keep saying it until it understands Scottish, all right?”
- Requested destination: Floor 11 ("Eleven") - Accents attempted: Scottish (natural), American (criticized as sounding like Dublin Irish), and English (mocked for sounding like Dick Van Dyke in *Mary Poppins*)
[02:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs&t=121s) Automated Instructions and the Escalating Meltdown
The elevator interrupts their squabbling with an overarching prerecorded announcement: “This is a voice-activated elevator. Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner.” The explicit instruction to remain calm only incenses the men further, leading them to deduce that the manufacturers anticipated furious reactions from local users: “Because they knew they’d be selling this to Scottish people who’d be going off their nut!” When the lift states that no floor has been selected, they shout back in protest before the machine offers an escape route: “If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply say: ‘Open the doors, please.’”
The demand for politeness triggers deep offense. Outraged at being coerced into showing manners to an inanimate box, one man snaps, “Please? Please? Suck my willy!” His companion tries to take the practical route and mutters the requested phrase, only to be shamed for bowing to the machine: “I’m not begging that for nothing!” When the companion repeats, “Open the doors, please,” the other snorts that he is pathetic, but the lift remains stubbornly shut, repeating, “Please remain calm.”
This patronizing reminder pushes the stubborn passenger into a state of sheer, unhinged fury. Pacing the enclosed cabin and raging at the speaker grille, he unleashes a vindictive tirade against the voice artist behind the system: “I’m going to come to America, I’m going to find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice, and I’m going to go in the electric chair for you!” In a final, desperate burst of nationalistic rage, he hammers against the metal frame screaming “Scotland! You bastard! Scotland! Scotland!” Following an exhausted silence, the lift chimes and casually announces, “Going up.”
- Exit command required by the system: "Open the doors, please" - Final automated outcome: The elevator ignores their floor choice and simply announces "Going up"
## Mentioned Burnistoun, Iain Connell, Robert Florence, Scotland, America, Dublin, Dick Van Dyke, Mary Poppins
## Video description Burnistoun stars @iainconnell and @boldrobertflorence. Eleven.
[Source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqAu-DDlINs)