Busta Rhymes Reclaims Health After Airway Blockage and Loss

Busta Rhymes Finally Opens Up About His Grief, Depression & Recovery! — The Diary Of A CEO

The Diary Of A CEO

The veteran rapper reversed a near-fatal health decline caused by grief and addiction after a emergency intervention inspired a complete physical transformation.

AI-assisted summary of Busta Rhymes Finally Opens Up About His Grief, Depression & Recovery! — original source. Check the original for full context.

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## Background This interview was published on YouTube by Steven Bartlett on his channel The Diary Of A CEO on November 27, 2023. The video description highlights Busta Rhymes opening up about his experience inside the music industry, as well as his struggles with grief, depression, and recovery.

## TL;DR In this candid interview, hip-hop icon Busta Rhymes traces his journey from a structured childhood in Brooklyn and early days in breakdancing to becoming an influential MC. He opens up about the complex relationship with his father, his addiction to audience validation, and the sacrifices made regarding his family to pursue music. Busta also details the profound grief following the losses of his manager Chris Lighty and his father, a period of physical decline that led to a life-threatening health diagnosis, and the transformative boot camp that helped him reclaim his health and launch his album Blockbusta.

## Atmosphere & style The conversation carries a deeply reflective, vulnerable, and emotionally grounded tone that steps far beyond typical music promotion. Steven Bartlett acts as an empathetic facilitator, allowing Busta to oscillate naturally between hilarious childhood stories, energetic performance anecdotes, and raw, tearful recollections of family trauma and loss. The dynamic feels intimate and introspective, moving from tension and grief toward a triumphant, grateful realization of redemption and health.

## Key takeaways - [01:43](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=103s) Busta Rhymes grew up in East Flatbush, Brooklyn, where strong parental discipline and a tight-knit community culture balanced the surrounding temptations of street crime and drugs. - [09:49](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=589s) At age 11, his parents' divorce severely impacted Busta, instilling deep anger and behavioral problems as visitation disputes fractured his connection to his father. - [17:02](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1022s) Working as an electrical apprentice under his strict father fueled Busta's intense drive to succeed in Hip-Hop just to prove his father wrong. - [22:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1324s) After moving to Long Island to escape drug charges in Brooklyn, Busta lost a playground rap battle to Charlie Brown, inspiring his first written verse and leading to the formation of Leaders of the New School. - [45:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2714s) Busta's unique flow and high-energy stage performance were directly inspired by Jamaican Dancehall sound system culture and kung fu films. - [57:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3470s) True long-term success requires an uncompromising focus, a willingness to be 'delusional' about your vision before it succeeds, and an unconditional passion for the craft rather than money. - [01:03:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3836s) The relentless demands of his music career led Busta to sacrifice major family milestones, missing key events like his children's graduations. - [01:10:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4200s) The tragic loss of his manager Chris Lighty in 2012, followed by his father's death in 2014, plunged Busta into deep grief and caused a 9-year hiatus from releasing solo albums. - [01:19:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4750s) Unresolved grief led to severe self-neglect, pushing his weight to 340 pounds and causing life-threatening throat polyps that blocked 90% of his airway. - [01:23:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5018s) An emotional plea from his son and a 30-day intensive training regimen in Florida with bodybuilder Dexter Jackson saved Busta's life and sparked a complete physical transformation. - [01:27:58](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5278s) In executive producing his album Blockbusta alongside Pharrell Williams, Swizz Beatz, and Timbaland, Busta prioritizes sharing the flame with new artists, continuing the mentorship he received early in his career.

## Detailed walkthrough ### [00:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=0s) Introduction to Busta Rhymes' Journey

Steven Bartlett opens the conversation by framing it as a look into a version of Busta Rhymes that the public has never seen before. Over a career spanning 33 years, Busta has maintained an incredible level of discipline, consistency, and dedication—what he refers to as an "addiction" to entertaining. However, Bartlett emphasizes that the discussion goes beyond his peak powers to examine the forces that pulled him into profound personal darkness and how he ultimately rose back up.

Bartlett describes the interview as a deeply human story about grief, depression, and recovery. Before moving into Busta's early life, he asks frequent listeners to subscribe to the podcast to support bringing on world-class guests.

---

[01:43](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=103s) Early Context and Community Balance in Brooklyn

Reflecting back on his formative years, Busta Rhymes attributes the foundation of who he is today to his mother and father. Raised in East Flatbush, Brooklyn, Busta clarifies that while he grew up in the hood alongside street figures and troublemakers, his upbringing was rooted in structure, strict discipline, and care. He explains that his parents ensured he never lacked basic necessities and could truly enjoy childhood.

Busta emphasizes the sharp contrast between his era and modern culture, explaining that the community functioned under a true "takes a village" philosophy. Neighbors held full authority to discipline any child misbehaving on the block. Respect was a core value that even local gangsters and elders upheld, creating an environment where young people learned integrity and manners.

``` ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ Strict Household Discipline │ │ • Mutual respect & proper manners │ └───────────────────┬────────────────────┘ │ ▼ ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ Community "Village" Safety │ │ • Neighbors disciplined misbehavior │ │ • Street elders respected home rules │ └───────────────────┬────────────────────┘ │ ▼ ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ Solid Foundation for the Future │ │ • Countered negative neighborhood │ │ influences (drugs/crime) │ └────────────────────────────────────────┘ ```

* **Environment:** Grew up in East Flatbush, Brooklyn, surrounded by both hardworking families and active street crime (drug dealing, robberies, and shootings). * **Community Dynamics:** Neighbors had explicit permission to discipline misbehaving kids on the street. Getting caught misbehaving meant receiving "two ass-beatings"—one from the neighbor and another at home for misrepresenting the family. * **Mutual Respect:** Even street figures and gangsters respected elders and maintained boundaries regarding how younger kids were treated, creating a balancing presence against negative influences.

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[06:36](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=396s) How Hip-Hop Provided an Alternative to the Streets

When asked why he didn't succumb entirely to the negative elements of his environment, Busta candidly admits that he *did* get drawn into the street lifestyle for a period, selling weed and crack. However, discovering Hip-Hop served as a life-saving alternative, allowing him to channel his talents into performing, writing rhymes, and entertaining people.

Busta details how the older figures in his neighborhood reacted when they saw his musical potential. While they initially tolerated his involvement in street activities because they lacked better options to offer him, they quickly pivoted to protect and encourage him once he started breakdancing, graffiti writing, DJing, and rapping.

* **Street Involvement:** Busta started selling weed and crack as a teenager, disappointing his mother. * **Guidance from Street Elders:** Local street figures actively tried to minimize the risks Busta faced, shielding him from violence and incarceration. * **Transition to Hip-Hop:** As Busta's passion for music grew alongside his early group, Leaders of the New School, his community pushed him to focus entirely on creative pursuits rather than street crime.

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[09:49](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=589s) The Emotional Impact of His Parents' Divorce

At 11 years old, Busta experienced a devastating turning point when his parents divorced. He explains how difficult it was to process the separation of the two primary forces in his life, noting that his mother provided nurturing and care while his father represented structure and authority.

The fallout from the divorce introduced intense anger, misbehavior, and disrespect into Busta's life. He recalls how the ongoing friction between his parents frequently interfered with visitation schedules, leading to painful moments where he could see his father waiting outside in a car, only to be kept inside due to a fresh argument between his parents.

* **Emotional Shift:** The separation triggered heightened anger and behavioral problems as Busta struggled to navigate the rift between his mother and father. * **Fractured Routines:** Arguments often led to canceled visitation weekends, cutting Busta and his younger brother off from their father's side of the family across Brooklyn and Queens.

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[13:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=818s) Contrasting Relationships with His Mother and Father

Busta describes the stark differences between his relationships with his parents. He maintained a close, open line of communication with his mother, sharing everything from teenage milestones to his early musical creations with Leaders of the New School. His mother created a supportive environment at home, encouraging his music as long as he handled his responsibilities and stayed out of trouble.

In contrast, his relationship with his father was filled with friction. His father held a pragmatic, serious view of the future and dismissed Hip-Hop, telling Busta, "I don't want to hear that shit... you're wasting your time." While Busta found this deeply hurtful at the time, his father's skepticism ultimately fueled an intense drive within him to prove his father wrong.

* **Supportive Dynamics:** His mother allowed Busta to blast his studio recordings at home and provided a safe space to discuss personal matters. * **Father's Skepticism:** Busta's father prioritized traditional career paths and openly criticized rap music as an unviable pursuit.

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[17:02](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1022s) Working as an Electrical Apprentice and Driven to Excel

To keep him off the streets, Busta's father—who was a licensed electrical contractor—forced him to work for his company starting around age 10 to 12. Busta recalls hating the work, which involved laboring in dirty buildings infested with rats and roaches, cutting into the time he wanted to spend playing outside or making music.

Despite his frustration with the manual labor, Busta explains that his father's strictness and resistance to his musical ambitions forced him to excel. Driven by a determination to prove he could make something of himself through Hip-Hop, Busta poured his energy into perfecting his craft alongside his group members, who shared a collective passion for the culture.

* **Trade Work:** Busta worked under his father as an electrical apprentice, laboring in harsh conditions across New York. * **Exploration:** During summers, his mother sent Busta and his brother to spend time with family in Jamaica and England, broadening their perspective outside of Brooklyn.

<FollowUp label="Want to continue to Part 2 covering Busta's path to becoming an MC and building his career?" query="Please provide the detailed walkthrough for Part 2 of the transcript, continuing directly from 00:18:28."/>

[18:32](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1112s) Breakdancing in Morecambe, Preston, and Blackpool

When Busta Rhymes was around 12 or 13 years old, he and his younger brother—who was seven at the time—spent time living in England, specifically in the Morecambe and Preston areas. Guided by their older cousins, Samantha and Michaela, the brothers would venture out to local hot spots across Morecambe, Preston, and Blackpool. In these towns, Busta and his brother brought their raw New York breaking style directly to the local English kids, quickly gaining a reputation as "dangerous little motherf***ers" on the street.

Their dynamic floor moves, twisting, and popping quickly integrated them into the local breakdancing scene. Organizers and promoters began noticing their talent, booking the underage brothers to perform short 10-to-15-minute showcase sets inside night clubs before rushing them out the door. These early gigs gave Busta his first taste of earning money through live performance—making roughly £10 or £20 per show—and further fueled his passion for entertainment.

* Busta Rhymes and his seven-year-old brother attended primary school and karate classes while staying in the Morecambe and Preston regions. * His cousins Samantha and Michaela introduced them to local gathering spots and club scenes across Lancashire. * Local club promoters paid the young brothers £10 to £20 per performance for brief 10-to-15-minute breakdancing routines.

[20:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1204s) Electrical Work and the Pull of Hip-Hop Culture

When the summer dance opportunities began to wind down, Busta's father stepped in with a dose of traditional discipline, declaring that the boys would not be relaxing that summer and would instead come to work with him. Busta found himself dragged into physical labor as an electrician's assistant, a job he utterly despised. Forced to haul heavy BX cable through sheetrock, hammer nails, and avoid hitting his fingers, he worked in grueling environments where he would literally watch rats and cockroaches crawl over his Timberland boots.

While stuck doing manual labor, Busta would look out the window and watch other kids riding bikes, popping wheelies, and listening to music outside in the sun. This contrast generated intense daily anger toward his father, but it also crystallized his true ambition. Busta didn't just want an escape from hard labor; he wanted to dive headfirst into every single pillar of hip-hop—from dancing and DJing to writing rhymes. Hip-hop became the defining passion of his youth and his ultimate justification for avoiding a conventional trade.

> "Do I want to be an electrician? No... Do I want to see rats and roaches crawling over my shoes and my Timberland boots? I don't want to do none of that."

[21:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1264s) The DJ Craze and Being Relocated to Long Island

When Busta first sought his entry point into hip-hop, his goal wasn't actually to be an MC—he originally wanted to be the group's DJ. During the early era of hip-hop, the DJ held top billing and ultimate prestige in iconic acts, from Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five to Jam Master Jay in Run-D.M.C. However, Busta quickly realized he lacked the technical aptitude to master complex turntable equipment and couldn't achieve "superstar DJ" status.

Concurrently, Busta's personal life in Brooklyn was spiraling out of control. By the age of 12, he had already been arrested twice for selling crack cocaine. While his minor status saved him from severe legal penalties, he was on a dangerous trajectory toward heavy prison time or worse. Recognizing the impending danger, his mother made the decisive choice to pull him out of Brooklyn and relocate the family to the suburbs of Long Island.

* **Early DJ Influences:** Busta revered pioneer DJs like Grandmaster Flash and Jam Master Jay, who carried solo name recognition and top billing over MCs. * **Legal Trouble:** Caught two drug charges for selling crack cocaine by the age of 12 while living in Brooklyn. * **Suburban Migration:** Joined a widespread wave of families moving out of Brooklyn, Queens, and the Bronx to give their children a fresh start in Long Island.

[23:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1436s) Suburban Hoods and the Long Island Cypher

Moving to Long Island did not immediately sanitize Busta's lifestyle. Many other families from Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and Staten Island were simultaneously making the same move, effectively importing inner-city culture and street dynamics into quiet suburban neighborhoods. Upon settling in Uniondale, Busta linked up with local youths, including his future bandmates Charlie Brown and Dinco D (from Leaders of the New School), alongside his first cousin Milo and a street-affiliated friend named Mystery.

Transitioning into junior high school exposed Busta to a whole new world of social dynamics, class period bell-swaps, hallway banter, and teenage flirting. Being known as "the new kid from Brooklyn" carried a distinct rep. Local high schools held lip-sync contests and outdoor rap ciphers where students gathered after class. One afternoon, Busta walked into a massive schoolyard cipher centered around Charlie Brown—who was widely recognized as the top rapper in the school—and decided to jump in to provide beatboxing backing for the performers.

* **Leaders of the New School Lineup:** The early foundation of the group formed in Long Island, featuring Busta Rhymes, Charlie Brown, Dinco D, and Busta's blood cousin, Milo (Cut Monitor Milo). * **Suburban Dynamics:** Kids relocated from the five boroughs recreated the urban street culture and intensity within suburban Long Island neighborhoods.

[26:47](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1607s) The Playground Battle That Born a Rapper

As Busta kept the beat going for Charlie Brown in the middle of the schoolyard, the performance took an unexpected turn. About 30 to 40 seconds into his freestyle, Charlie Brown began directly insulting and dissing Busta in his lyrics. The 13-year-old Busta was caught in a tense inner conflict: should he throw a punch and end the party energy, or keep beatboxing and avoid looking like a sore loser? Coming from Brooklyn, Busta held a deep chip on his shoulder regarding kids from the Long Island suburbs, viewing them as soft compared to kids raised in the concrete jungle.

> "I'm looking at this dude and I'm just looking at him like I'm a f*** you up in two seconds because you a b**** to me, but you disrespecting me in front of all these people... if I don't do something then they going to look at me like I'm a b**** too."

When Charlie Brown finished his verse to crowd applause, Busta silently vowed revenge. He went home that night, studied aggressive battle rap records from LL Cool J—who was actively targeting rivals like Kool Moe Dee and Ice-T—and wrote his very first full rap verse aimed directly at Charlie Brown. Returning to school the next day, Busta waited patiently until the afternoon cipher formed, stepped up to beatbox for Charlie Brown again, and then seamlessly convinced Charlie Brown to drop a beat for him. Busta launched into his verse, shifting from calm delivery into blistering personal disses that completely flipped the crowd's energy. The electrifying reaction from the schoolyard onlookers instantly ignited Busta's confidence, charisma, and passion for rhyming. Devastated by the battle, Charlie Brown walked up to Busta immediately afterward and suggested they form a group together.

* **Inspirational Catalog:** Busta studied LL Cool J's aggressive battle-rap tracks to craft his first disses against Charlie Brown. * **The Origin Story:** Defeating Charlie Brown in the schoolyard battle served as the direct catalyst for Busta becoming an MC and the creation of Leaders of the New School.

[30:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1856s) The Embarrassing Early Rap Names

Before adopting his iconic moniker, Busta Rhymes navigated a few early stage names that reflected his changing identity. Initially, as a member of the Five-Percent Nation (The Nation of Gods and Earths), he went by the handle **Lord Tahim**. However, eager to match the naming trends of his hip-hop idols who favored stylized three-part names—such as LL Cool J, Jam Master Jay, Prince Markie Dee, and Cool Rock-Ski—he decided to drop his original title for something he thought sounded cutting-edge at the time.

With a laugh, Busta reveals that he re-baptized himself **Chill O Ski**. He held onto the name proudly for a considerable duration, genuinely believing it was the ultimate three-part rapper name, before eventually realizing how terrible it actually was.

``` Evolution of Busta Rhymes' Early Monikers: Lord Tahim (Five-Percent Nation) ➔ Chill O Ski (Early Rap Era) ➔ Busta Rhymes ```

[33:45](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2025s) Addiction to the Crowd's Energy

Reflecting on his journey from a 12-year-old on the playground to signing a major record deal at age 17, Busta identifies an overwhelming "addiction to the reaction of the people" as the primary driver of his success. The feeling of taking a thought written privately in his bedroom—fueled by the raw need to defend himself—and using it to control the energy of an entire room created a psychological high unlike anything else. He admits that without that specific playground confrontation with Charlie Brown, he might never have pursued life as a serious MC.

However, Busta's deep-seated need for audience validation started long before hip-hop entered the picture. As a young child around six to eight years old, his parents would enforce strict 9:00 PM bedtimes on school nights. But whenever his mother and father hosted adult house parties with music and drinks, Busta would scheme ways to stay up past his bedtime. He began staging elaborate dance reenactments of Michael Jackson, The Jackson 5, and James Brown routines right in the middle of the living room.

Busta would dance, spin, and perform full splits for hours until he was drenched in sweat. His parents and their guests were so captivated that they would cheer him on, delaying his bedtime and praising his mother for having such a talented son. That early living room applause sparked a lifelong obsession with performance that later transformed him into a classroom clown, a breakdancer, and ultimately one of hip-hop's most charismatic icons.

* **Bedtime Reenactments:** Performed energetic James Brown and Michael Jackson routines at ages 6-8 to avoid being sent to bed during his parents' weekend parties. * **Classroom Clown:** Translated his love for attention into classroom humor, constantly seeking the spotlight from peers. * **Cultural Status:** Observed early on how hip-hop transformed everyday dancers, DJs, and graffiti artists into local celebrities, driving his urge to master every element of the movement.

[39:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2370s) Finding the Calling: From Street Elements to Hip-Hop Showmanship

Busta Rhymes reflects on trying out the foundational elements of hip-hop before finding his true calling. He dabbled in DJing, but found it overly complex. He tried breakdancing, but hated the constant cuts and bruises. He appreciated graffiti, but it wasn't until he partnered up with Charlie Brown that everything clicked. Performing gave him the exact same rush he felt as a little boy dancing for his parents and their guests at home, combined with the electric thrill of being "the rapper guy" commanding the spotlight. Over time, that early appreciation morphed into an intense, unrelenting addiction to performing and receiving the audience's reaction.

``` ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ Early Hip-Hop Elements │ └────────────┬────────────┘ │ ┌───────────────────────────┼───────────────────────────┐ ▼ ▼ ▼ ┌─────────┐ ┌──────────┐ ┌──────────────┐ │ DJing │ │ Breaking │ │ Graffiti │ │ (Too │ │ (Too │ │ (Cool, but │ │ Complex)│ │ Bruised) │ │ Not "The" One│ └─────────┘ └──────────┘ └──────────────┘ │ ▼ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ Linking with C. Brown │ │ & Reclaiming the Stage │ └─────────────────────────┘ ```

Steven Bartlett draws a parallel from his own background, sharing how many of his childhood friends tried rapping—most eventually fell off, but one or two stuck with it as if it were their ultimate medication. Busta explains that his absolute biggest driver was the desperate desire to prove his father wrong and experience the moment when he could finally say, "I told you so."

* "I used to write the shit on my wall and just on a piece of paper and I would stick it on the wall and it would say: *One day I'm going to get a deal, I'm gonna sign a contract, I'm gonna come home with so much fucking money that I'm going to be able to tell my father 'I told you so.'*" * "I would look at that sign and then I would see him outside in the truck and I'd walk out that fucking house and I would be mad as hell, angry."

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[41:54](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2514s) Understanding Parental Tough Love and the Apollo Humiliation

With maturity, Busta came to understand that his father wasn't acting out of malice; he simply loved his son and wanted to ensure he wasn't wasting his time. His father had built a business that he hoped to hand down, viewings failure as non-viable. Steven Bartlett deeply relates, recalling how his mother—who emigrated from Nigeria after leaving school at age seven and never learned to read or write—was heartbroken and refused to speak to him for years when he chose not to attend university at 18. Both agree that immigrant parents push so hard because they survived severe poverty and hardship that their children never had to endure, wanting only the best for their offspring.

Busta shares a vivid story of the night his father came to see his group, Leaders of the New School, perform at the famous Apollo Theater's amateur night. Before the show, their original third member, a guy named Mystery, grew impatient with waiting for a record deal and returned to selling drugs on the street. That opened up a slot for Bryan "Dinco D" Higgins to join Busta and Charlie Brown, along with Busta's cousin, Milo (DJ Milo), on the turntables.

When they took the stage at the Apollo, the crowd mercilessly booed them off. To make matters worse, his father was in the audience and relentlessly taunted him inside the venue right after the show.

* "He was hitting me with the 'I told you so' that night. 'See, I tell you, yo, you waste your time with this little idiot rapper boy shit. Come and work, that's why I'm going tell you for come to work so you can learn some stability and stop waste your time with this rapper shit.'" * "He just beating me in the head with this total disrespect. But again, at that time I hated him for it. As we got older and that day came for me, I got my record deal when I was 17."

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[45:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2714s) Jamaican Dancehall Influence: The Blueprint for Busta's Flow and Energy

When Bartlett asks what specifically made Busta stand out from every other rapper, Busta points directly to the profound influence of Jamaican Dancehall culture and sound system clashes, such as the iconic annual *Sting* festival. Watching dancehall legends perform in front of massive crowds of 100,000 people, he noticed an explosive, total-package Showmanship that was completely absent in American hip-hop at the time. Where hip-hop artists often acted "too cool," standing still and holding their crotch, dancehall artists commanded the stage with wild physical energy, striking outfits, kicking, hand-flinging, and complex flow patterns.

``` Dancehall Sound Clashes (Sting, Jammys, Killamanjaro) ├── High-Energy Stage Movement & Kicking ├── Complex Flow Patterns & Breath Control └── Kung Fu Movie Physicality & Visual Flair │ ▼ Busta Rhymes' Signature Performance Style ```

Combining his love for dancehall with a childhood obsession with martial arts and kung fu movies, Busta methodically engineered a high-intensity style designed to overwhelm competitors. He spent his youth as a dedicated student of the culture, analyzing legendary selectors and deejays to build an unmatched stage presence.

* "In hip-hop you seeing dudes just walking around... act like they too cool to be that animated. Me, I love that shit. I love kung fu movies, I love karate movies... I just took all of that shit and I said, 'I'm gonna turn this into what I'm gonna do on these stages.'" * "I think that if I master this shit and I could master my breathing and I don't exhaust myself too soon try to jump around all over the fucking stage going crazy, I think I might become a dangerous motherfucker that's hard to compete with." * "Looking at those Sting clashes, and Jammys and Killamanjaro... Saxon... Tipper I and all of them man. Them dudes raised me."

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[48:11](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2891s) The Core Fundamentals: Passion, Purpose, and Unconditional Love for the Craft

Bartlett asks Busta what core advice or fundamentals he passes on to his six children (now in their 20s and 30s) to maximize their chances of success in any industry. Busta explains that the primary requirement is identifying what you truly love and mastering it until your passion is unquestionable. True success cannot stem from chasing revenue; it must come from an inner need to fulfill something in your soul that money alone can never buy.

Busta details how this deep connection to music gives him a sense of absolute purpose and security. Even if he were lying sick in a hospital bed, he could write a song, hand it to another artist, and create a piece of art that financially protects his family for generations while profoundly shaping the lives of millions of listeners worldwide.

* "Identify with what you love, and once you love it, hone in on that thing until you can master it to the point where people can identify that there's no questioning your love for it." * "You're not doing it from a place of trying to generate the revenue—you're going to do this shit regardless. So it's not about the money for you. You're fulfilling something in your soul, in your body." * "Think a new way that allowed me to pursue something that I found that I love, and now I'm a fucking $200 million CEO in Google... 'I'm a fan of your shit, you're still doing what I love, and I want to sit down with you and figure out something magical that we could do together.' That's the most addictive shit in the world to me."

`-` **Key Philosophy:** Success originates from an internal calling rather than financial ambition; the revenue follows the devotion. `-` **Long-term Impact:** Great art transcends time, creating lifelong bonds with fans who go on to achieve their own monumental success.

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[54:53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3293s) Divine Inspiration and Balancing Humor with Gravitas

Continuing on the spiritual nature of creativity, Busta explains that everyone possesses an inner gift or instinct. Listening to that quiet internal voice changes a person's entire life trajectory, allowing them to walk in their purpose and achieve a form of immortality through their work. He addresses the Five-Percent Nation concept of "Gods and Earths," arguing that recognizing the divine spark within oneself is simply operating in the natural, high-level state in which humans were created to function.

He illustrates this creative spark with a humorous example: sitting at home in a relaxed state, smoking a spliff, eating a bowl of cereal, and casually coming up with the iconic hook *"When I step up in the place, option step your steps correct / Woo-hah! Got you all in check!"* He notes that this spontaneous moment in his kitchen ended up being chanted by fans across the globe, from local hoods to packed arenas in Sweden. He emphasizes the importance of balancing comedic absurdity with serious artistry, citing screen icons like Al Pacino in *Scarface* and Joe Pesci in *Goodfellas*.

* "It's weird to me when people find it strange when we call ourselves Gods and Earths... Anything other than its original form is the worst state of its own existence because you're not even functioning within the nature that you was created to function in." * "I refuse to think that there is nothing that I can't do beyond man... If I could sit down here and smoke a spliff and eat a bowl of cereal and go: 'When I step up in the place... Woo-hah! Got you all in check!' and the whole fucking planet is doing it... I just was vibing and bugging out." * "Al Pacino and *Scarface*—he was a serious motherfucker, but he was funny. Joe Pesci and *Goodfellas*—serious, but funny, right? We in the hood, we love the balance between serious and funny. I try to incorporate serious and funny in all of my shit."

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[57:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3470s) The Essential Character Traits: Selfishness, Maniacal Focus, and Pure Delusion

When asked what specific character traits a person must cultivate to achieve top-tier success, Busta lists qualities that sound harsh on the surface but are vital for reaching greatness: being intensely selfish, maniacal, uncompromising, and completely delusional. Great rewards require massive personal sacrifices and risks that standard logic cannot account for.

Busta defines "delusion" as an unwavering faith in a vision that no one else can see yet. Until the dream manifests into reality, society will mock it as crazy; the moment it succeeds, that exact same delusion is praised as genius.

``` ┌──────────────────────────────────┐ │ Visionary Pursues Their Dream │ └────────────────┬─────────────────┘ │ ┌─────────────┴─────────────┐ ▼ ▼ ┌──────────────┐ ┌──────────────┐ │ BEFORE │ │ AFTER │ │ SUCCESS │ │ SUCCESS │ ├──────────────┤ ├──────────────┤ │ Labeled: │ │ Labeled: │ │ "Delusional" │ │ "Genius" │ │ & "Crazy" │ │ & "Visionary"│ └──────────────┘ └──────────────┘ ```

* "First thing is, you got to be selfish as hell. You gotta be selfish... Without great sacrifice and without great risk, there is no such thing as a great reward." * "You have to be a little maniacal with the shit... When you're pursuing your destiny, when you identify with your destiny, you have to be selfish, you have to be maniacal, you have to be uncompromising." * "Complete delusion. You got to believe the delusion, because it's only delusional until it works... A motherfucker only going to call it delusion until it work... and then once the world see it, there's nothing delusional about it now. Your delusion becomes: 'Oh, he was a fucking genius.'"

[01:00:19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3619s) The Price of the Craft and Missing Key Life Events

Addressing the notion of being "selfish" to chase his hip-hop dreams over his father's desire for him to become an electrical contractor, Busta clarifies the distinction between having a difference of opinion and true self-absorption. While standing up to his father was simply about pursuing his own path, Busta admits that his career demands led to a deeper, more painful form of selfishness—missing irreplaceable moments in his children's lives. He candidly recounts missing his oldest son's high school graduation, one of his daughter's college graduations, and foundational childhood milestones like teaching his kids how to drive or ride a bicycle.

Busta takes full responsibility for the choices and circumstances he created. He describes the heavy dilemma between being present for every moment while struggling financially, or stepping away to fulfill his purpose in the studio. For Busta, the recording studio was not merely a workspace; it was a sanctuary where he could shut out life's heavy distractions, relationship arguments, and unnecessary debates. Within those four walls, he felt aligned with his destiny, finding the emotional and spiritual grounding needed to return home as a better man.

- **Sacrificed Milestones:** Missed his oldest son's high school graduation and a daughter's college graduation. - **Missed Life Skills:** Was absent for key childhood moments, including teaching his kids to ride a bike and drive a car. - **Studio as a Haven:** Used the studio environment to escape personal disputes, decompress, and process his emotions into art.

---

[01:03:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3836s) The Pressure of Child Support and the Survival Mindset

Host Steven Bartlett shares his own fears as a self-described workaholic, questioning whether Busta feels guilt for using his craft as an emotional escape. Busta responds that while he lives with genuine guilt, he recognizes that his past actions were driven by a survival mindset necessary at the time. Managing complex family dynamics with four mothers involved in court proceedings required constant financial vigilance.

Regardless of whether business was booming or slow, monthly child support obligations were non-negotiable. Raised with the mindset that children never ask to be brought into difficult situations, Busta knew he could offer no excuses. He views the immense pressure he faced as an integral part of his gift, believing that higher powers do not bestow burdens heavier than one can bear. Ultimately, he hopes his children understand that prioritizing one's primary passion is essential for fulfillment.

> "Your kid didn't ask to be put in a situation that you cannot do what you're supposed to do for them... You have to find a solution."

---

[01:10:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4200s) The Tragic Loss of Chris Lighty

In 2012, at age 40, Busta suffered a devastating personal and professional blow with the sudden death of his long-time manager and close friend, Chris Lighty. Busta credits Lighty as the architect of his financial and career transformation following his early days with Chuck D and Hank Shocklee. Under Lighty's guidance at Violator Management, Busta's income soared, enabling him to tell his mother in 1995 that she could quit her job permanently.

Busta solemnly recounts the tragic day of Lighty's death. Just the day before, Busta had given Lighty a ride to Grand Central Terminal in Manhattan so he could meet his daughter returning from college. The following morning, Busta received frantic three-way phone calls from Lighty's assistant and a weeping staff member screaming that "Chris hurt himself." Driving straight to Lighty's home, the grim reality set in only when the coroner's van backed down the driveway and officials emerged carrying body bags from the basement.

- **Career Impact:** Chris Lighty revamped Busta's entire operational team, including lawyers, booking agents, and touring operations. - **Family Landmark:** The success achieved alongside Lighty allowed Busta to support his mother fully starting in 1995. - **The Incident:** Busta gave Lighty his last ride to Grand Central Terminal before receiving news of his death the following morning.

---

[01:16:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4601s) A Nine-Year Recording Hiatus and Compounding Grief

The immediate aftermath of Chris Lighty's death was chaotic, marked by confusion, grief, and legal tension. Having never navigated the music industry without his manager and "brother," Busta felt completely unmoored. The loss paralyzed his creative output, resulting in a nine-year pause between solo studio albums. During this hiatus, Busta redirected his focus toward executive production and talent development under his Conglomerate label, successfully signing and launching artists such as O.T. Genasis, Stove God Cooks, and Murda Mook.

However, executive success could not fill the void or ease his psychological grief. The emotional toll deepened significantly in 2014 when Busta lost his father—just two years after Lighty's passing. Losing the two most influential male figures in his life back-to-back left Busta struggling with profound regret. Although he had reconciled with his father prior to his passing, he felt robbed of the opportunity to enjoy a peaceful, post-reconciliation relationship with him.

- **Nine-Year Album Gap:** Did not drop a full solo album for nine years while searching for the right support team. - **Executive Roster:** Focused on developing talent, bringing on artists like O.T. Genasis, Stove God Cooks, and Murda Mook. - **Double Bereavement:** Suffered the loss of manager Chris Lighty in 2012, followed by his father in 2014.

---

[01:19:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4750s) Spiral into Unhealthiness and the Wake-Up Call

To numb the pain of his losses, Busta engaged in severe physical self-neglect, overworking and heavily abusing alcohol, marijuana, and cigarettes. His weight surged to an unprecedented 340 pounds, causing noticeable physical transformations and severe health issues, including sleep apnea. Reflecting on photographs from that era, Busta recalls seeing dark skin discolorations and a visible sense of internal torment.

The turning point came following a heavy night out at the Los Angeles nightclub Poppy, where Busta drank to the point of complete unresponsiveness. It took nearly 45 minutes for his son and security team to wake him. The next morning, his son sat him down to express his deep concern. Intimidated to confront his father directly, the son asked the security team to speak on his behalf to protect Busta's feelings. Realizing the emotional anguish he was causing his son served as the painful wake-up call Busta needed to confront his destructive path.

- **Peak Weight:** Ballooned to 340 pounds due to unhealthy coping mechanisms. - **Health Complications:** Developed severe sleep apnea and extreme physical exhaustion. - **The Intervention:** Following a night at Poppy in L.A., his son and security team spent 45 minutes trying to revive him, leading to an emotional confrontation.

<FollowUp label="Want me to break down Part 5 of the transcript?" query="Write a detailed, faithful walkthrough of Part 5 of this Busta Rhymes transcript."/>

[01:21:44](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4904s) A Life-Threatening Diagnosis

The full severity of Busta Rhymes' health crisis became brutally clear during a doctor's visit following a night of severe breathing difficulties. Before even stepping into the exam room, the doctor could hear Busta breathing heavily from outside the door. Busta had been living with the labored breathing for three years, to the point where it had become normalized in his mind. However, upon examining his throat, the physician discovered massive polyps that were blocking 90% of his airway. The doctor warned that if Busta went home and caught even a minor draft from central air conditioning, a swollen gland or sore throat could obstruct the remaining 10% of his breathing passage, causing him to die in his sleep.

The physician insisted on calling an ambulance to transport Busta immediately to the UCLA Medical Center emergency room for emergency surgery the following day. When Busta refused to ride in an ambulance, the doctor required him to sign a liability waiver releasing the medical practice from responsibility if Busta died before reaching the hospital. Busta admits he had never been spoken to like that in his life, and the sobering reality of the situation hit him hard as he called his son to meet him at the medical facility.

- Polyps blocked **90%** of Busta Rhymes' breathing passage for nearly three years prior to the medical emergency. - The physician warned that a common cold or draft could swell the throat and block the remaining **10%** airway, resulting in death during sleep. - The doctor required a signed liability release waiver when Busta refused ambulance transport to **UCLA Medical Center**.

[01:23:44](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5024s) His Son's Plea and the Turning Point

While sitting in the emergency room awaiting admission and undergoing preliminary tests, Busta had an emotional breakdown during a conversation with his son. His son broke down and admitted, "I thought you was going to die last night... I lost Grandpa already, I can't lose you too. Can you please stop drinking, can you please stop smoking, can you please get back to the daddy that I know you to be?" That vulnerable plea completely shattered Busta, serving as the ultimate wake-up call he needed to change his lifestyle.

Overwhelmed by fear and love for his family, Busta resolved in that exact moment to undergo the necessary surgery and commit entirely to getting back into physical shape. Hearing his child's fear made him realize that his physical decline was no longer just affecting himself, but deeply hurting those who depended on him.

> "I lost Grandpa already, I can't lose you too. Can you please stop drinking, can you please stop smoking, can you please get back to the daddy that I know you to be?"

[01:24:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5074s) The 30-Day Transformation in Jacksonville

On his way home following the hospital visit, Busta saw an Instagram story of professional bodybuilder and Mr. Olympia champion Dexter Jackson driving in Jacksonville, Florida, while rapping along to Busta's classic hit "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See." Taking it as a sign, Busta reached out via direct message, introduced himself as a fan, and asked if they could speak. When they connected on the phone, Jackson gave him a strict ultimatum: Busta had to leave his girlfriend and children behind and report to Jacksonville for an intense 30-day boot camp to prove his dedication before Jackson would agree to train him long-term.

Busta fully committed to the challenge by renting a seven-bedroom mansion in Jacksonville. To set himself up for success without ever needing to leave the house, he assembled a support team consisting of a cameraman to document the journey, a meal-prep chef, a masseuse to recover from grueling daily workouts, a recording engineer, and an assistant. Under the guidance of his trainers—first Victor Munoz and then Dexter Jackson—Busta lost approximately 27 pounds in 30 days. Reclaiming his health, mind, and spirit brought back a sense of pride that was reinforced when his children expressed their relief and respect for his transformation.

- Busta rented a **7-bedroom mansion** in Jacksonville, Florida, to execute his strict 30-day boot camp. - He brought a dedicated crew including a cameraman, meal-prep chef, masseuse, recording engineer, and assistant. - Trained alongside **Victor Munoz** and Mr. Olympia champion **Dexter Jackson**. - Shed approximately **27 pounds** during the initial 30-day isolation period.

[01:27:58](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5278s) Executive Producing *Blockbusta* and Mentoring the New Generation

Navigating the emotional and mental challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic eventually led Busta back to creating music, culminating in his album *Blockbusta*. The project was executive produced alongside three legendary industry peers: Pharrell Williams, Swizz Beatz, and Timbaland. Addressing why he chose to feature so many younger, emerging artists on the project despite having already worked with virtually everyone in hip-hop, Busta strongly rejected the popular narrative that elder statesmen in hip-hop do not respect or support the younger generation.

Busta explained that when he was coming up, legendary figures like Chuck D (who gave him the name Busta Rhymes), Big Daddy Kane, and De La Soul brought him into their homes, put him on their albums, and took him to shows to teach him the craft. He feels a deep responsibility to pass that same guidance, love, and protection to the new generation. Rather than framing this mentorship as "passing the torch," Bartlett noted—and Busta enthusiastically agreed—that collaborating with younger artists is about "sharing the flame," keeping his own creative edge razor-sharp while honoring the upcoming talent who draw inspiration from his style and legacy.

- *Blockbusta* was executive produced by **Pharrell Williams**, **Swizz Beatz**, **Timbaland**, and **Busta Rhymes**. - Chuck D gave Busta his stage name, while Big Daddy Kane and De La Soul mentored him early in his career. - Busta emphasizes "sharing the flame" with younger artists rather than passing the torch, keeping himself razor-sharp 33 years into his career.

[01:31:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5506s) Reflecting on the Journey and Final Remarks

As the interview came to a close, Busta expressed immense gratitude for the depth and vulnerability of the conversation. He admitted that in his 33-year career, he had never done an interview so deep or spent this much time doing a sit-down interview in Europe. He praised host Steven Bartlett for his preparation, evolution as a businessman, and ability to ask questions that pushed him out of his comfort zone. Bartlett expressed his deep honor in hosting Busta, noting how Busta's personal journey adds profound meaning to his music and legacy.

- Busta noted this was the longest and most in-depth interview he had given in his **33-year career**. - The episode concludes with host announcements regarding podcast sponsors, including Huel's nutritionally complete protein bars and the availability of The Conversation Cards.

## Notable quotes > [20:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1204s) Do I want to be an electrician? No... Do I want to see rats and roaches crawling over my shoes and my Timberland boots? I don't want to do none of that. — Busta Rhymes

> [26:47](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1607s) I'm looking at this dude and I'm just looking at him like I'm a f*** you up in two seconds because you a b**** to me, but you disrespecting me in front of all these people... if I don't do something then they going to look at me like I'm a b**** too. — Busta Rhymes

> [39:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2370s) I used to write the shit on my wall and just on a piece of paper and I would stick it on the wall and it would say: One day I'm going to get a deal, I'm gonna sign a contract, I'm gonna come home with so much fucking money that I'm going to be able to tell my father 'I told you so.' — Busta Rhymes

> [41:54](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2514s) He was hitting me with the 'I told you so' that night. 'See, I tell you, yo, you waste your time with this little idiot rapper boy shit. Come and work, that's why I'm going tell you for come to work so you can learn some stability and stop waste your time with this rapper shit.' — Busta Rhymes

> [45:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2714s) In hip-hop you seeing dudes just walking around... act like they too cool to be that animated. Me, I love that shit. I love kung fu movies, I love karate movies... I just took all of that shit and I said, 'I'm gonna turn this into what I'm gonna do on these stages.' — Busta Rhymes

> [48:11](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2891s) Identify with what you love, and once you love it, hone in on that thing until you can master it to the point where people can identify that there's no questioning your love for it. — Busta Rhymes

> [54:53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3293s) When I step up in the place, option step your steps correct / Woo-hah! Got you all in check! — Busta Rhymes

> [57:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3470s) Complete delusion. You got to believe the delusion, because it's only delusional until it works... A motherfucker only going to call it delusion until it work... and then once the world see it, there's nothing delusional about it now. Your delusion becomes: 'Oh, he was a fucking genius.' — Busta Rhymes

> [01:03:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3836s) Your kid didn't ask to be put in a situation that you cannot do what you're supposed to do for them... You have to find a solution. — Busta Rhymes

> [01:23:44](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5024s) I lost Grandpa already, I can't lose you too. Can you please stop drinking, can you please stop smoking, can you please get back to the daddy that I know you to be? — Busta Rhymes' Son

## Mentioned Busta Rhymes, Steven Bartlett, The Diary Of A CEO, will.i.am, Leaders of the New School, Samantha, Michaela, Grandmaster Flash, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, Jam Master Jay, Run-D.M.C., Charlie Brown, Dinco D, Milo, Cut Monitor Milo, Mystery, LL Cool J, Kool Moe Dee, Ice-T, Five-Percent Nation, Prince Markie Dee, Cool Rock-Ski, Michael Jackson, The Jackson 5, James Brown, Google, Apollo Theater, Bryan "Dinco D" Higgins, DJ Milo, Sting, Jammys, Killamanjaro, Saxon, Tipper I, Al Pacino, Scarface, Joe Pesci, Goodfellas, Chris Lighty, Chuck D, Hank Shocklee, Violator Management, Grand Central Terminal, Conglomerate, O.T. Genasis, Stove God Cooks, Murda Mook, Poppy, UCLA Medical Center, Dexter Jackson, Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See, Victor Munoz, Blockbusta, Pharrell Williams, Swizz Beatz, Timbaland, Big Daddy Kane, De La Soul, Zoe, LinkedIn, Huel, The Conversation Cards, Apple Podcast, Spotify, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter

[Source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg)

中文简报

Busta Rhymes战胜气道阻塞与丧亲之痛重获健康 在一次紧急干预促成彻底的身体转变后,这位资深说唱歌手逆转了因悲痛与成瘾导致的濒危健康恶化。 在这场坦诚的访谈中,嘻哈巨星 Busta Rhymes 回顾了自己从布鲁克林规矩森严的童年生活、早期的霹雳舞经历,到成长为极具影响力的说唱歌手的历程。他敞开心扉,谈及与父亲的复杂关系、对观众认可的沉迷,以及为了追求音乐对家庭所做的牺牲。Busta 还详细讲述了经纪人 Chris Lighty 和父亲相继离世带来的巨大悲痛、随后导致危及生命的健康诊断的身体衰退期,以及最终帮助他恢复健康并推出专辑《Blockbusta》的脱胎换骨般的训练营经历。 Busta Rhymes 回顾了在布鲁克林东弗拉特布什(East Flatbush)的成长岁月,严厉的家教与守望相助的社区文化帮助他抵御了周边街头毒品与犯罪的诱惑。 (1:43) 11岁时父母离异让他陷入深层的愤怒与叛逆,而在父亲手下做电工学徒的经历,反向激发出他要在 Hip-Hop 领域证明父亲是错的执念。 (9:49) 为逃避毒品指控迁居长岛后,Busta 在一场校园操场对决中败给 Charlie Brown,由此写出人生首段歌词并促成了组合 Leaders of the New School 的诞生。 (26:47) 深受牙买加 Dancehall 音响系统对决文化和功夫电影的影响,Busta 独创了极具冲击力的舞台风格,并认为长期成功必须源于对创作本身无条件的狂热追求。 (45:14) 经纪人 Chris Lighty 于2012年离世以及父亲在2014年过世,使 Busta 陷入长期的重度悲痛中,并导致其个人专辑发行停滞了长达9年。 (76:41)

Reading summary

Hip-hop artist Busta Rhymes attributes his three-decade career to a disciplined, defiant work ethic formed in opposition to his environment and his father's skepticism, though he acknowledges that this single-minded pursuit eventually caused severe family absences, unmanaged grief, and a life-threatening health crisis. Artistic Identity Built on Defiance and Dancehall (45:14) Busta Rhymes describes his early entry into hip-hop as a life-saving alternative to street crime in East Flatbush, where he had already faced two drug arrests for selling crack cocaine by age 12. His father, a licensed electrical contractor who forced him into grueling trade labor, dismissed rap music as a futile waste of time. Rather than discouraging him, this skepticism fueled an intense determination in Busta to prove his father wrong, prompting him to study aggressive battle rap records after being publicly insulted during an early Long Island schoolyard cipher. To differentiate himself from peers who maintained an understated stage presence, Busta adopted the animated, high-intensity delivery of Jamaican dancehall sound clashes—such as the annual Sting festival—and merged it with martial arts physicality. He argues that reaching elite success requires an uncompromising, near-delusional belief in one's vision before it manifests, maintaining that his primary artistic drive was always centered on mastering audience engagement rather than pursuing immediate financial returns. The Personal Sacrifices of Relentless Ambition (60:19) While celebrating his artistic focus, Busta admits that his drive turned into a painful form of personal selfishness regarding his family obligations. He missed critical milestones in his children's upbringing, including his oldest son's high school graduation, a daughter's college graduation, and everyday parental experiences like teaching his children how to drive or ride bicycles. Busta explains that his relentless schedule was partly driven by the non-negotiable financial pressures of child support obligations across four mothers. However, he also acknowledges that he frequently treated the recording studio as an emotional sanctuary to escape personal domestic friction and interpersonal disputes, finding psychological centering within his work while remaining absent from home. Compounding Bereavement and Severe Physical Decline (76:41) The trajectory of Busta's career halted dramatically following consecutive personal tragedies: the 2012 death of his long-time manager Chris Lighty, followed two years later by the death of his father in 2014. Losing his two primary male guiding figures left Busta unmoored, causing a nine-year hiatus between solo studio albums while he redirected his energy into executive production and talent development. To cope with unresolved grief, Busta turned to heavy consumption of alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana, while neglecting his physical health. His weight climbed to 340 pounds, causing severe sleep apnea. The physical crisis culminated when a physician discovered that massive throat polyps had obstructed 90 percent of his airway for three years, warning Busta that a minor cold or throat swelling could completely close his breathing passage and kill him in his sleep. Rehabilitation, Transformation, and Generational Reinvestment (84:34) The turning point arrived when Busta's son broke down following an episode where Busta was unresponsive for 45 minutes, pleading with him to stop smoking and drinking after having already lost his grandfather. Confronted by his family's distress, Busta agreed to undergo throat surgery and initiated a complete lifestyle overhaul. He isolated himself in a rented Jacksonville residence for a 30-day boot camp guided by professional bodybuilder Dexter Jackson and trainer Victor Munoz, shedding roughly 27 pounds and reclaiming his conditioning. Following his recovery, Busta channeled his renewed energy into his solo album Blockbusta, executive produced with Pharrell Williams, Swizz Beatz, and Timbaland. Rejecting notions of an intergenerational divide in hip-hop, he views collaborating with younger performers not as passing a torch, but as "sharing the flame"—repaying the mentorship he received from pioneers like Chuck D and Big Daddy Kane while maintaining his own artistic vitality. Busta Rhymes' account illustrates how extreme professional dedication can serve both as a protective shield against systemic adversity and as an avoidant mechanism that amplifies personal loss. While his radical lifestyle intervention restored his physical survival, the enduring challenge remains sustaining creative vitality without repeating past neglect of family and emotional well-being.

精炼阅读摘要

说唱歌手Busta Rhymes在接受Steven Bartlett专访时表示,对表演舞台的执念与反抗父亲质疑的心态塑造了他33年的嘻哈职业生涯,而亲友离世引发的长年悲痛与健康危机最终倒逼他完成身心蜕变。 街头张力与家庭管教下的舞台启蒙 (1:43) Busta Rhymes回顾自己在纽约布鲁克林东弗拉特布什(East Flatbush)的成长经历,指出街区秩序由严格的邻里管教与家庭规矩共同维系。虽然在11岁父母离异后经历过情绪失控,甚至在12岁时两度因贩卖可卡因被捕,但在街头长辈的引导与母亲举家迁往长岛的决定下,他逐渐脱离了犯罪轨道。早期在英格兰的街舞演出与家庭聚会中的模仿表演,使他很早就体会到取悦观众带来的满足感,并将精力转向嘻哈文化。 父子冲突与牙买加文化塑造的台风 (41:54) Busta Rhymes的父亲是一名执照电气承包商,曾强制要求他做电工学徒,并公开贬低嘻哈音乐是不切实际的浪费时间,甚至在阿波罗剧院(Apollo Theater)演出遭嘘声后当场斥责他。这种反对意见激发出他强烈的证明欲,他在墙上写下誓言要拿下唱片合约来反击质疑。在表演风格上,他摒弃了美国嘻哈界常见的低调姿态,结合功夫电影的肢体动作与牙买加Dancehall声响系统对决(Sound System Clash)的高能舞台掌控力,形成了独具一格的演出节奏。 职业野心的代价与至亲离世的打击 (60:19) Busta Rhymes认为追求卓越必须具备某种程度的偏执与自私,但这导致他缺席了长子的高中毕业典礼、女儿的大学毕业典礼,以及陪伴孩子成长的关键节点。为了应对抚养费诉讼的经济压力,他长期将录音室作为逃避现实矛盾的避风港。2012年,一手扶持他事业起飞的长期经纪人Chris Lighty自杀身亡;2014年,刚刚与其和解的父亲也相继离世。接连失去两位最重要的男性导师,导致他在长达九年的时间里未能推出个人录音室专辑,转而将重心放在幕后厂牌经营与新人发掘上。 健康濒危与佛罗里达的自救蜕变 (81:44) 在应对心理创伤期间,Busta Rhymes长期依赖酒精、烟草并过度进食,体重暴增至340磅并患上严重睡眠呼吸暂停症。在洛杉矶夜店一次失去意识45分钟后,儿子的哭诉让他警醒;随后的医疗检查更显示其咽喉息肉阻塞了90%的呼吸道,医生警告微小的腺体肿胀便可能导致其在睡梦中窒息。面对生命危险,他接受了手术,并随即在佛罗里达州杰克逊维尔租下宅邸,在奥林匹亚先生Dexter Jackson和教练Victor Munoz指导下进行为期30天的封闭集训,成功减重约27磅,彻底扭转了健康状况。 经验传承与跨世代的合作理念 (87:58) 重塑身心状态后,Busta Rhymes在疫情期间回归创作,联手Pharrell Williams、Swizz Beatz与Timbaland共同担任执行制作,推出了专辑《Blockbusta》。针对乐坛关于前辈与新人存在隔阂的论调,他结合自身早年受到Chuck D、Big Daddy Kane及De La Soul扶持的经历指出,成熟艺人对下一代负有引导与庇护责任。他主张与年轻艺人合作是“共享火焰”而非单向交接火炬,这种跨世代互动既能帮助新兴力量,也让他在入行33年后依然保持敏锐的竞技状态。 Busta Rhymes的经历展现了一位传奇说唱歌手从街头少年走向行业顶峰、随后因创伤坠入健康危机并最终通过自律重获新生的过程。该叙述完全建立在受访者个人的回顾与主观体会之上,其中涉及早期街头行为与亲属关系的细节缺少独立第三方的比对印证。

Detailed notes — zh

## Background 该视频由著名播客频道《The Diary Of A CEO》(主持人 Steven Bartlett)于 2023 年 11 月 27 日发布在 YouTube 平台。视频简介指出,这是嘻哈传奇人物 Busta Rhymes 首次敞开心扉,深度剖析自己经历的悲痛、抑郁与康复历程,并宣传其当时推出的新专辑《Blockbusta》。 ## TL;DR 在长达 33 年的辉煌音乐生涯背后,Busta Rhymes 首次全面揭露了未曾公开的至暗时刻:从父母离异与严苛父爱带来的叛逆,到误打误撞成为传奇 MC 并对舞台反馈产生狂热执念;再到经历经纪人 Chris Lighty 和父亲相继离世的双重打击后,导致音乐事业停摆九年,身心崩溃至体重飙升至 340 磅、气道堵塞 90% 的生死悬崖。最终在儿子的恳求与顶级健美教练的魔鬼特训下重获新生,通过新专辑《Blockbusta》展现跨世代合作,完成从自我毁灭到精神与身体全面复苏的壮丽蜕变。 ## Atmosphere & style 整场对话充满极具感染力的深情、坦荡与震撼,打破了传统嘻哈巨星坚硬不羁的刻板人设。Busta Rhymes 以充满磁性且极具穿透力的叙事风格,毫无保留地直面内疚、脆弱与致命的健康危机,而主持人 Steven Bartlett 的提问温和且层层递进,营造出一种极其信任且直击灵魂的安全场域。观众能真切感受到一位经历过无数风浪与生死劫难的乐坛老将,在洗尽铅华后所迸发出的真挚悔悟、生命韧性以及对艺术近乎神圣的敬畏之火。 ## Bulletin - [01:16:02](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4562s) Busta Rhymes 回顾了自己因至亲相继离世(2012年经纪人兼挚友 Chris Lighty 去世、2014年生父去世)而陷入长达9年的个人音乐专辑停滞期,并在此期间通过退居幕后扶持 O.T. Genasis 等艺人度过迷茫。 - [01:22:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4921s) 在经历酗酒与严重暴食后,Busta 体重飙升至 340 磅,并在一次急诊中被医生查出声带息肉已死死堵塞高达 90% 的呼吸道,面临随时在睡眠中窒息死亡的极端生命威胁。 - [01:25:33](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5133s) 在儿子的含泪劝阻下,Busta 联手前奥林匹亚先生 Dexter Jackson 展开为期 30 天的高强度封闭特训,不仅成功减重 27 磅脱离生命危险,更重新唤醒了身心状态与家庭认可。 - [01:27:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5259s) 在新专辑《Blockbusta》中,Busta 携手 Pharrell Williams、Swizz Beatz 及 Timbaland,强调跨世代合作并非“传递火炬”,而是与年轻新锐“共享火焰”,继续统治舞台。 ## Key takeaways - [01:43](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=103s) 东平原童年环境与“全村育儿”:在纽约布鲁克林东平原成长期间,严苛负责的家教与街区长辈共同管教的法则,培养了他对长辈的敬畏与双向尊重的底层观念。 - [06:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=360s) 街头混混的庇护与嘻哈拯救:尽管年少时曾涉足街头违法交易,但街区年长大哥出于保护心态极力劝阻他沉沦,并大力支持他投身嘻哈音乐与艺术。 - [09:49](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=589s) 父母离异的创伤与父子隔阂:11岁时父母决裂打碎了其安全感,刻板专制的父亲对他的说唱热情斥为“荒废生命的垃圾”,激发了他誓要证明父亲是错的强烈叛逆心。 - [20:44](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1244s) 从想当 DJ 到被迫转型为 MC:由于对繁复电声器材缺乏天赋,加上渴望以嘻哈逃离残酷现实,一次在操场 Cipher 中为 Charlie Brown 打 Beatbox 反遭 Diss 的经历彻底逼他拿起了麦克风。 - [28:54](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1734s) 操场麦克风复仇战与艺名雏形:受 LL Cool J 侵略性风格启发,Busta 在操场以压倒性表现回击 Charlie Brown,二人自此结盟,同时也促成了他早期艺名“Chill-O-Ski”的诞生。 - [32:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1959s) 对观众反馈的极度成瘾:从六七岁在客厅模仿迈克尔·杰克逊博得满堂彩开始,他就对掌控现场能量、获得观众即时狂热反馈产生了难以戒断的精神执念。 - [43:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2608s) 阿波罗剧院惨败与17岁签约逆袭:面对在阿波罗剧院遭全场狂嘘以及父亲在后台的冷嘲热讽,Busta 咬牙坚持,最终在17岁成功拿下唱片合约兑现墙上誓言。 - [45:16](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2716s) 融合牙买加 Dancehall 与功夫的独特台风:摆脱传统嘻哈歌手冷酷踱步的套路,他汲取牙买加 Sound Clash 文化的狂暴肢体张力与邵氏功夫美学,开创了高能统治级的舞台风格。 - [57:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3470s) 成功所必需的极端特质:实现非凡成就必须在时间和精力上做到“极度自私”,且需具备偏执狂般的狂热和在被大众认可前近乎“完全妄想”的超强信念。 - [01:00:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3614s) 缺席子女成长的内疚与现实抉择:面对多位母亲的巨额抚养费责任与沉重生存压力,录音室既是他对抗现实纷扰的心灵避风港,但也导致他永远错过了孩子们成长的珍贵时刻。 - [01:10:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4200s) 伯乐 Chris Lighty 离世带来的毁灭性打击:2012年经纪人 Chris Lighty 在地下室自戕身亡,使 Busta 失去了事业后盾与精神支柱,直接导致其个人音乐生涯停摆9年。 - [01:19:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4750s) 连续失去至亲与健康跌入深渊:经纪人与父亲两年内相继离世,Busta 用暴食、酒精与大麻麻痹神经,体重激增至 340 磅并患上严重睡眠呼吸暂停症。 - [01:22:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4921s) 气道堵塞90%的生死关头与儿子的呼唤:在一次长达45分钟无法被唤醒后,医生发现其息肉堵塞了90%的呼吸道并下达病危通知,儿子的崩溃痛哭彻底唤醒了他的求生意志。 - [01:25:33](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5133s) 杰克逊维尔 30 天封闭逆转人生:在 Dexter Jackson 等专业团队督导下,Busta 在豪宅闭关特训 30 天减重 27 磅,不仅挽救了生命,更赢回了家庭与子女发自内心的尊重。 - [01:27:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5259s) 跨世代提携与“共享火焰”理念:在新专辑《Blockbusta》中,Busta 驳斥老派排挤新秀的论调,认为向前辈看齐、无私提携年轻音乐人是责任,老将与新人应当共同将火焰燃得更旺。 ## Detailed walkthrough ### [00:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=0s) 走下神坛的传奇:33年巅峰与最深沉的黑暗 主持人 Steven Bartlett 在开场中坦言,观众即将看到的是一个“大家从未见过的 Busta Rhymes”。作为在嘻哈乐坛巅峰屹立了长达 33 年的常青树,Busta 身上不仅具备令人难以置信的自律、专注,以及他对舞台表演几乎达到“成瘾”程度的炽热执念;但这场对话更深层的意义,在于揭开光环背后的深渊——那些将他从神坛拖入生命至暗时刻的外部力量与内心挣扎,以及他如何从从未对外公开谈论过的最低谷中重新站起。Steven 将其形容为本节目最具启发性的人性故事之一,并在正片开始前真诚呼吁常客听众点击订阅支持,以促成更多如此深度的灵魂对话。 ```mermaid flowchart LR accTitle: Busta Rhymes 个人发展双轨迹 accDescr: 展示从33年巅峰自律到跌入人生至暗时刻,再到重新崛起的生命周期 subgraph Peak["巅峰历程"] A["33年顶尖生涯"] --> B["超凡自律与执念"] end subgraph Struggle["至暗低谷"] C["未曾公开的人生重创"] --> D["身心陷入深渊"] end subgraph Revival["重焕新生"] E["战胜绝望与痛苦"] --> F["重回巅峰王座"] end Peak --> Struggle --> Revival ``` --- ### [01:43](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=103s) 东平原街区的童年:严厉的家风与“全村育儿”的法则 当被问及如今回望过往、究竟是哪些早期环境和关键人物造就了今日的自己时,Busta Rhymes 直截了当地将一切归功于他的父母。他明确澄清,自己并不想为了迎合某种说唱圈的人设而编造苦难故事,假装自己是在极度贫困的泥潭中挣扎长大的。尽管他成长于纽约布鲁克林的东平原(East Flatbush, Brooklyn)——一个充斥着流氓混混的典型街区(the hood),但他的父母为人严厉且极其负责,从未让他在物质上有过任何匮乏,让他能够完完整整地体会当一个孩子的快乐。 更重要的是,那个时代的街头文化与当今许多年轻音乐人渲染的暴力虚无完全不同。哪怕是街头的黑帮分子、暴徒和捣乱分子,骨子里也都讲究尊重、体面与基本礼貌。当时的街区完美践行了“抚养一个孩子需要倾全村之力”的古训:邻里间看着长大的孩子,若在街头胡作非为,任何邻居长辈都有权力当场训斥甚至出手管教。在 Busta 的童年记忆中,邻里长辈如果看到他犯浑,完全有权“狠狠揍我一顿”,随后还会立刻告发给他母亲;而一旦母亲得知他让外人替自己管教了儿子,认为家教受辱,回到家往往会再补上一顿毒打——“惹一次麻烦,就意味着要挨两顿胖揍”。 - **真实的成长基石**:来自家庭内部与街区长辈共同构筑的严苛规矩,让年轻一代对长辈怀有敬畏之心。 - **消失的社区文化**:Busta 感慨如今这种社区纽带已不复存在,现代的孩子根本听不进任何管教,甚至可能抄起家伙扔向长辈。 - **双向尊重的法则**:在家庭中学会的尊重他人,带到街头上同样能赢得街头混混的对等敬重,这构成了支撑他日后人生大厦的基石。 --- ### [06:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=360s) 街头大哥的庇护与嘻哈音乐的救赎 回顾当年那个充满毒品交易、枪击与抢劫案件的残酷街区,Busta 承认自己很容易滑向彻底毁灭的深渊。面对主持人“你为何没有走上歧途”的追问,他坦诚地苦笑道:“我确实误入歧途了。”他年轻时也曾偷偷在街上倒卖大麻和强效可卡因(crack),将母亲气得七窍生烟。然而,他之所以没有彻底沉沦,得益于街区里存在的一种强大而正向的平衡力量,以及嘻哈文化的及时救赎。 当时那些带他在街头混迹的大哥们,其心态十分复杂:他们被迫靠违法语境谋生,但打心底里不希望年轻的孩子重蹈覆辙。在无法为年轻人提供更光彩的正当出路时,街头大哥们会竭尽全力护其周全,尽力减少他们惹上的麻烦,避免他们被杀或蹲大狱;而一旦他们发现 Busta 展现出对说唱、霹雳舞(breakdancing)、涂鸦(graffiti)以及 DJ 等嘻哈元素的狂热与才华,并能通过韵律清晰表达自我时,便开始极力鼓励他投身艺术。 - **街头大哥的良心与保护**:混混长辈们看到 Busta 的才华后,主动劝诫他远离毒品与偷窃,将其推向音乐道路。 - **两份不能辜负的期望**:对 Busta 而言,搞砸音乐不仅会让家中支持他的母亲伤心,还会让街头那些希望他能走出泥潭、走上正轨的混混大哥们深感失望,这种“绝不能让两拨人失望”的压力反而成了他前进的驱动力。 --- ### [09:49](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=589s) 十一岁时的晴天霹雳:父母离异的毁灭性冲击 对话随后切入了他生命中最早的重大心理创伤——11 岁时父母的离异。主持人 Steven 谈及自己约 10 岁时父母摊牌宣布不再相爱的经历,那种感觉犹如“整个世界被劈成了两半”,孩童的大脑根本无法理解原本一体的父母为何会彼此分离。 Busta 听罢深有共鸣,毫不掩饰地将父母的决裂形容为一场“灾难”(disastrous)。对于一个年仅 11 岁的孩子来说,这种概念是完全无法接受也难以消化的。在母亲身边和在父亲身边所能获得的关爱、乐趣与相处体验截然不同,家庭的撕裂彻底打碎了他原有的安全感,也为他日后复杂的心路历程埋下了深刻的伏笔。 ### [10:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=639s) 父母离异带来的愤怒与隔窗相望的周末 Busta Rhymes 坦言,母亲给予他的呵护、滋养与关爱,是他在父亲身上从未体验过的;然而在他心中,父母与孩子构成的家庭秩序本该是神圣而完整的,失去任何一方都是不可承受之痛。父母离异后,他的性格发生了剧烈的转变。原本那个懂得守规矩的孩子渐渐消失,取而代之的是愈发频繁的叛逆、顶撞与难以遏制的愤怒。这种失控源于内心的极度痛苦与绝望——他不仅无法接受家庭破裂的现状,更深受父母之间无休止仇怨的直接波及。 当时他与唯一的弟弟共同面临着令人心碎的局面。每逢父亲探视的周末,如果父母在清晨爆发争吵,情况就会彻底失控。父亲准时开车停在门前,母亲却将门反锁,坚决不准兄弟俩外出。Busta 只能隔着窗户望向站在街沿的父亲,内心备受煎熬。在父亲那一侧,有他在布鲁克林和皇后区结识的堂表亲以及社区发小,由于父母双方家族势同水火、互不往来,只有当父亲来接他们时,兄弟俩才有机会走出家门去见那些亲友。每当大人的矛盾阻断了探视,他们与父亲见面的频率就会被迫拉长到两周一次,甚至整整一个月见不到面。 ### [13:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=826s) 严厉父亲与包容母亲:说唱梦想遭受的打击 父亲长期的缺席对成长中的男孩造成了复杂的心理影响,而父子间迥异的性格更让摩擦不断升级。在 Busta 看来,男孩在天性上往往更容易依赖母亲,而他的父亲性格严肃刻板,对孩子内心的喜好漠不关心,一味认定“只有我认为对你未来最好的事情才作数”,完全抹杀孩子的自主意愿。这种专制与母亲的无条件包容形成了鲜明对比。在家里,Busta 可以无话不谈地向母亲倾诉青涩的成长秘密——从初次遗精到青春期的萌动,甚至可以将自己在录音室里与初创团体“Leaders of the New School”录制的全新说唱曲目大声放给母亲听;只要他按时完成家务、不惹事生非,母亲就全心支持这些能让他远离街头混乱的创作追求。 然而,当他满怀兴奋地去向父亲分享自己的说唱时,迎来的却是劈头盖脸的痛骂与蔑视。父亲甚至当面怒斥:“我不想听这种混账东西,这全都是垃圾,你是在这堆垃圾上浪费生命!”("I don't want to hear that shit, that shit is a bunch of bullshit and you wasting your time with that shit.")这番话在当时深深刺痛了 Busta。那时说唱根本无法带来经济收入,他和伙伴们完全是出于对音乐纯粹的热爱与集体创作的快乐而坚守,父亲的贬低不仅践踏了他的自尊,也让两人的隔阂进一步加深。 - **母子间的开明沟通**:母亲允许他在家中大声播放新录的母带,只要他远离街头危险并做好分内事。 - **与父亲的情感鸿沟**:父亲不仅否定说唱的价值,更将儿子的音乐热情斥为荒废人生的胡作非为。 ### [17:02](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1022s) 电工学徒的苦役与英格兰的街舞夏天 面对父亲的严厉打击,年轻的 Busta 萌生出一股强烈的叛逆心理,暗下决心一定要向父亲证明他是错的。这种证明自我的渴望,成了逼迫他在音乐上不断精进的催化剂。父亲是一名持有执照的电气承包商(licensed electrical contractor),拥有自己的工程公司。为了不让 Busta 在街头鬼混,父亲强行将他带到施工现场当学徒。这段从大约 10 岁起初露端倪、到 12 岁全面升级的经历,成了 Busta 少年时期的梦魇:他被迫在爬满老鼠与蟑螂的破旧建筑中穿行,在石膏板之间吃力地拉拽 BX 铠装电缆,或者因为挥锤钉钉子而砸肿手指。当他透过建筑的破窗看着街上其他孩子在阳光下骑自行车做后轮特技、听着外面飘来的音乐时,内心的愤怒无以复加。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: Busta Rhymes 少年经历与志向对比 accDescr: 对比父亲强加的电工劳动环境与英国街舞表演的经历,最终塑造其投身嘻哈的决心。 subgraph Labor ["父亲施加的管教"] A["电工现场苦工"] --> B["拉拽 BX 铠装电缆 / 钉钉子"] B --> C["脏乱工地环境:鼠蟑出没"] end subgraph Culture ["英格兰夏日的街头艺术"] D["莫克姆、普雷斯顿、黑池"] --> E["街头斗舞与风格展示"] E --> F["夜店特邀演出 10-15 分钟 / 每次赚取 £10-£20"] end Labor --> G["决心反抗父权,全身心投入 Hip-Hop"] Culture --> G ``` 相比之下,早些年母亲安排的海外暑期生活宛如另一个世界。母亲曾多次送兄弟俩去牙买加陪伴亲戚,或是送他们到英国体验生活。10 到 11 岁那年夏天(当时弟弟仅 7 岁左右),Busta 住在英格兰北部的莫克姆(Morecambe)和普雷斯顿(Preston),甚至还在当地上过空手道学校和小学会课。堂表亲萨曼莎(Samantha)、米凯拉(Michaela)和瓦尔(Val)经常带着他们去繁华街区。兄弟俩带着纯正的纽约街头风格,在莫克姆、普雷斯顿以及黑池(Blackpool)与当地孩子斗舞,凭借精准的电流跳跃与身体律动迅速引起轰动。甚至有夜店演出商破例安排这两个未成年男孩在夜店登台表演 10 到 15 分钟,随后立刻离场,一场演出能赚得 10 到 20 英镑。当后来暑期旅行停止、父亲勒令他留在纽约工地干重活时,Busta 对机械劳动的痛恨彻底爆发,更加渴望重回嘻哈文化的世界。 ### [20:44](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1244s) 从想当 DJ 到误打误撞成为 MC 对 Busta 而言,跳街舞、写歌和说唱不仅仅是爱好,更是他逃离残酷现实与严苛父权的救命稻草,他渴望让自己彻底化身为嘻哈文化的化身。最初,他的梦想并非成为一名手持麦克风的说唱歌手(MC),而是成为一名掌握全场节奏的 DJ。在当时的嘻哈黄金时代,DJ 是整个组合的核心与灵魂人物,从 Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five 到 Run-D.M.C. 里的 Jam Master Jay,组合名称无一不把 DJ 置于至高无上的显赫位置。 然而,Busta 自认对复杂的电声器材和技术参数缺乏天赋,摆弄那些精密的唱机与音频设备对他来说过于繁琐,技术水平始终未能达到顶尖明星 DJ 的水准。就在摸索自身定位的迷茫期,他因缘际会以一种完全出乎意料的方式误打误撞转变成了一名 MC。与这一转折交织在一起的,还有他当时在街头面临的巨大危险——早在 12 岁时,他就曾因为在街头贩卖强效可卡因(crack)被警方抓获并背上了两项指控;所幸当时的法律环境不同,加之他尚处未成年,才勉强免受牢狱之灾,但这也标志着他的人生正急速滑向悬崖边缘。 ### [22:35](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1355s) 从布鲁克林搬到长岛:郊区生活与街头文化的碰撞 当时 Busta Rhymes 面临着惹上严重麻烦的危险。他的母亲当机立断,决定带他彻底离开那个混乱的环境,于是举家从布鲁克林搬迁至纽约长岛(Long Island)。正是在长岛,他结识了日后一同组建“新派领袖”(Leaders of the New School)的伙伴:Charlie Brown(即 C. Brown)和 Dinco D。此外,队里的 Milo 是他母亲妹妹的儿子,属于嫡亲表兄弟。但在 Milo 和 Dinco D 真正加入前,最初的核心圈子只有他、Dinco D 以及另一个叫 Mystery 的男孩,Mystery 当时也在街头打拼谋生。 讽刺的是,当时许多来自布鲁克林、皇后区(Queens)和布朗克斯(The Bronx)的黑人家庭都抱着与他母亲完全相同的想法——为了让孩子远离街头危险,纷纷搬迁到长岛的郊区。结果,这些少年虽然离开了从小生长的贫民街区,却在绿树成荫的郊区再次聚首。他们把曾经试图逃离的街头习气原封不动地带到了这个体面的中产社区,成为整天在漂亮街区里“横冲直撞”、把当地秩序搅得天翻地覆的一代人。 ### [23:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1436s) 初入初中:意外成为 MC 的前奏 Busta Rhymes 澄清,自己最初根本不唱饶舌(Rap)。在嘻哈文化的四大元素中,他当时只跳地板舞(Breakdancing)、跳机械舞(Popping)、偶尔玩玩 DJ 混音以及随手涂鸦(Graffiti)。搬到长岛并进入当地初中后,恰逢学校开始举办对口型比赛(Lip Sync Contest)和饶舌比赛。 对一个刚满十二三岁、正值青春期的少年来说,新学校的生活充满了荷尔蒙与新鲜感。他第一次体验到走班制教学——一节课四十五分钟到一个小时,下课铃一响,走廊里便挤满了互相打趣逗乐、顺便跟女生调情的学生。更重要的是,从纽约五大区(Five Boroughs)转学过来的孩子身上天然带着某种光环:“那是从布鲁克林来的新孩子”、“那是皇后区来的新人”。作为一个来自布鲁克林的酷小子,渴望出风头、博取关注的他迅速成为了大家议论的焦点,而当时学校里公认的第一饶舌高手正是 Charlie Brown。 ### [25:59](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1559s) 操场麦克风对决:从伴奏 Beatbox 到遭遇公开羞辱 某天放学后,学生们聚在操场上,有的等校车,有的等看课后的橄榄球或篮球比赛。操场中央自发形成了一个规模庞大的饶舌麦克风圈(Cipher),Charlie Brown 正和另外两个孩子在圈里说唱,并且抢尽了风头。Busta Rhymes 凑了过去,开始为 Charlie Brown 口技伴奏(Beatbox)。 起初一切非常和谐,Charlie Brown 踩着他的节奏押韵,听起来十分精彩。然而过了三四十秒,毫无防备的情况下,Charlie Brown 突然在押韵中将矛头直指正在帮他打底拍的 Busta Rhymes,公然用歌词对他进行人身攻击(Diss)。Busta Rhymes 当时年仅 13 岁,内心瞬间陷入激烈的心理斗争:是直接一拳砸向对方的脸,还是硬着头皮继续 Beatbox、不毁掉现场热烈的派对气氛? 在当时布鲁克林少年的认知里,长岛郊区长大的孩子根本不算真正的硬汉,那里只有修剪整齐的草坪、花坛和漂亮的大房子;而他们自己则来自钢筋水泥丛林和公营住宅区(Projects),历经真正的街头挣扎。看着眼前这个挑衅的对手,Busta Rhymes 极度愤怒:“我来这里是为了支持你、给你打节拍,你他妈居然当着所有人的面羞辱我?”但他又不能像个输不起的懦夫一样掀桌子。就在他几乎要冲动动手的瞬间,Charlie Brown 的唱段结束了,全场爆发出一片喝彩。这口恶气让 Busta Rhymes 暗下决心:今晚回家写词,明天一定要当着所有人的面彻底回击。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: Busta Rhymes 走上 MC 之路的转折流程 accDescr: 展示 Busta Rhymes 从为 Charlie Brown 进行 Beatbox 伴奏,到被 Diss、暗中写词、次日反击并最终结盟组队的转折过程。 subgraph 操场交锋 A["放学后加入 Cipher<br/>为 Charlie Brown 进行 Beatbox"] --> B["对方突然现场编词公开 Diss 羞辱"] B --> C["内心挣扎:动手揍人 vs 维持现场氛围"] C --> D["咽下怒火,暗立誓言:用说唱歌词复仇"] end subgraph 逆袭与转折 E["当晚闭门苦练<br/>听 LL Cool J 汲取战斗风格"] --> F["次日再次操场集结<br/>引诱对方打底拍,展开毁灭性 Diss 回击"] F --> G["获得全场疯狂喝彩<br/>Charlie Brown 佩服并提议组队"] end D --> E ``` ### [28:54](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1734s) 复仇之战:LL Cool J 的启发与“Chill-O-Ski”的诞生 当天晚上,Busta Rhymes 独自关在房间里疯狂创作。当时 LL Cool J 正处于在唱片里向所有人开火的巅峰时期(与 Kool Moe Dee、Ice-T 等人接连爆发大战),那种招招致命、要“拧断对手脖子”的侵略性风格深深启发了他。 第二天重返学校,Busta Rhymes 守口如瓶,没有向任何人透露半个字。放学后,同样的操场再次围聚了大批观众。他照常若无其事地上前为 Charlie Brown 打节拍,等到对方唱完,Busta Rhymes 顺理成章地提议:“哥们,今天换你来给我打个拍子,让我试一段。”对方以为他只是随便玩玩,便欣然答应。 Busta Rhymes 先以平静的节奏切入,随即突然调转枪口,倾泻出昨晚精心打磨的攻击性歌词。长期压抑的挫败感、积攒的怒火与现场观众瞬间被点燃的狂热呼声交织在一起,产生了奇妙的化学反应。台下越兴奋,他在台上的状态就越自信、越张扬、越具领袖气质——那个日后震撼嘻哈界的 Busta Rhymes 雏形,在这一刻破土而出。 当主持人问及他当时的艺名时,现场引发了一阵大笑。Busta Rhymes 坦言自己当时还没有这个大名鼎鼎的绰号。在加入伊斯兰神秘组织“百分之五民族”(5% Nation of Gods and Earths)期间,他曾有一个相对有内涵的名字叫“Lord Tahim”。但在模仿当时说唱风潮的过程中,他迷恋上了三段式艺名: - 像 LL Cool J、Jam Master Jay - 像 The Fat Boys 组合中的 Prince Markie Dee、Kool Rock-Ski 为了模仿偶像,他给自己取了一个后来回想起来觉得“奇烂无比”的名字——**Chill-O-Ski**。尽管这个名字让他现在回想起来哭笑不得,但少年时期的他却无比自豪,认为想要成为像偶像那样的顶级巨星,第一步就是在形式上完全复刻他们。 ### [32:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1959s) 催化剂时刻:对观众反馈的“成瘾症” 在这场毫无悬念的操场反击战中,Busta Rhymes 以压倒性的表现击垮了 Charlie Brown。对决结束后,心服口服的 Charlie Brown 走到他身边,认真地提议:“兄弟,我们应该一起组个组合。”这场偶然的冲突,成为了催生他职业生涯的核心催化剂。 当主持人追问,从 12、13 岁操场上的无名小子,到 17 岁正式签约唱片公司,究竟是天赋、苦练还是其他原因促成了他的飞跃时,Busta Rhymes 直言这一切都是“对观众反应的极度成瘾”: - **实时反馈的心理震撼**:一个人在卧室角落里出于自卫本能写下的文字,在公开念出的瞬间,竟然能激起成百上千人不可思议的狂热呼喊,那种现场能量的交换具有极强的精神刺激性。 - **偶然铸就的命运轨迹**:他坦承,如果那天 Charlie Brown 没有莫名其妙地羞辱他,他可能一辈子只满足于跳舞和做 DJ,永远不会主动拿起麦克风成为一名正式的 MC。 - **顶级表演者的共性特征**:许多顶尖的喜剧演员、演员和娱乐巨星,往往都在童年某个不经意的表演节点(例如家庭聚会或小型舞台)体验过这种掌控观众情绪的巨大快感,进而演变成毕生追求的心理羁绊。 ### [35:20](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2120s) 舞台表演成瘾症的萌芽:六岁客厅里的迈克尔·杰克逊模仿秀 很多人经历过观众的热烈掌声后,并不会因此成瘾,但对 Busta Rhymes 而言,这种外界的反馈填补了他内心深处迫切需要的空白。尽管立志成为一名 MC 是在后来的某个契机下发生的,但对“取悦并震撼观众”的狂热,早在六七岁时就已经根植于心。童年时家教极严,父母规定工作日晚上 9 点必须就寝,周末稍微宽限到 10 点。每当母亲或父亲在家中招待亲朋好友聚会、伴着音乐小酌时,大人们常因沉浸在交谈中而忘记催促孩子们上床睡觉。为了逃避上床的时间,年幼的 Busta 开始展现出惊人的表演欲与创造力。 只要客厅里音乐一响,Busta 就会跳出来模仿迈克尔·杰克逊(The Jackson 5 时期)和詹姆斯·布朗(James Brown)的标志性舞步。他毫不怯场,在客厅地毯上疯狂劈叉、原地旋转,一跳就是几个小时,直到汗水彻底浸透衣服。大人们不仅没有赶他上床,反而全场起哄叫好,兴奋地向他母亲夸赞这孩子有多么惊人的天赋。正是这种全场瞩目、获得认可与欢呼的感觉,让他第一次尝到了“表演”带来的极致快感。这种欲望随后被他带入了学校课堂,为了继续博得关注,他不惜扮演哗众取宠的“班级小丑”而屡屡受罚。 ```mermaid flowchart LR accTitle: 表演成瘾演进历程 accDescr: 展示 Busta Rhymes 从童年客厅舞蹈到学校小丑,再到嘻哈四要素,最终在说唱舞台确立身份的演化路径。 subgraph S1["家庭与校园探索"] A["6-7岁 客厅模仿舞步<br/>逃避就寝并获得掌声"] B["学校班级小丑<br/>通过搞怪换取同学关注"] end subgraph S2["嘻哈文化洗礼"] C["探索嘻哈全要素<br/>DJ太难 / 霹雳舞太痛 / 涂鸦"] D["与 Charlie Brown 结盟<br/>找到说唱与表演的完美结合"] end A --> B --> C --> D ``` --- ### [38:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2319s) 嘻哈狂潮与墙上的誓言:只为对父亲说一句“我早告诉过你” 随着嘻哈浪潮席卷街头,这项文化成为了唯一的酷炫标杆。涂鸦艺术家、霹雳舞者和 DJ 宛如街头巨星,甚至涂鸦印上衣服都能引爆潮流。年轻的 Busta 尝试涉足嘻哈的每一个领域:DJ 操作太繁琐复杂,跳霹雳舞(Breakdance)又总是摔得浑身青紫,直到他与 Charlie Brown 联手拿起麦克风,他才突然意识到,自己儿时在父母聚会上表演的那种万众瞩目的狂热体验,与说唱舞台完美契合了。然而,这份狂热背后最大的驱动力,是与父亲之间的严酷对立。 父亲完全不认可嘻哈这种不务正业的街头把戏,执意要儿子继承自己的生意。为了抵御父亲的打击,Busta 在卧室墙上贴了一张写给自己的字条:“总有一天,我会拿到唱片合约,签下大单,带着巨额现金回家,亲口对父亲说一声——‘我早告诉过你’(I told you so)。”每天清晨,当父亲开着卡车停在门外、按喇叭强迫他去工地干苦力时,他都会死死盯着墙上的字条,带着满腔愤怒与不甘迈出家门。成熟之后的 Busta 逐渐理解了父亲的苦心:父亲经历过底层移民的残酷挣扎,创办公司不易,他不希望独子在虚无缥缈的幻想中虚度光阴。 - **主持人的共鸣**:主持人分享了自己的经历——母亲来自尼日利亚,7 岁辍学且不识字,当得知他 18 岁拒绝读大学时甚至数年不与他说话。这种由爱而生的强烈控制与阻拦,在第一代移民家庭中极为普遍。 - **父母的创伤投射**:老一辈所经历的贫困与苦难远非在西方本土长大的下一代所能体会,他们对稳定的执念,本质上是对子女免遭挫折的保护欲。 --- ### [43:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2608s) 阿波罗剧院的惨败倒戈与 17 岁的逆袭契约 在正式签约前,Busta 与 Charlie Brown 组建了团体 Leaders of the New School。起初团队中的成员 Mystery 因看不到出唱片的希望,选择重回街头贩毒,空缺随后由 Dinco D 填补;为了配齐演出班底,Busta 又引荐了自己的表兄弟 Cut Monitor Milo 担任 DJ。团队成立后不久,他们迎来了在哈林区著名的阿波罗剧院(Apollo Theater)业余之夜(Amateur Night)演出的机会。父亲特意来到现场观摩,然而演出遭遇了毁灭性的惨败——全场观众毫不留情地送上了震耳欲聋的嘘声。 甚至还没等他们走出剧院大门,父亲就在后台借题发挥,用刺耳的话语当面羞辱 Busta:“看到了吧,我早告诉你了!你就是个浪费时间的愚蠢小丑!明天老老实实跟我去工作,学学什么叫安稳度日,少在这做说唱梦!”那晚父亲近乎残酷的挖苦让 Busta 痛彻心扉,但他并没有放弃。仅仅在 17 岁那年,Busta 就成功拿下了正式的唱片合约,实现了墙上字条的誓言。 --- ### [45:16](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2716s) 独步天下的舞台风格:从牙买加 Dancehall 汲取狂暴能量 当被问及为何能在同期新人中脱颖而出、拥有点燃每一首合作单曲的气场时,Busta 直言这完全源于牙买加 Dancehall(舞厅雷鬼)文化的熏陶。80 年代以来牙买加传奇音乐节 Sting 上的 Clash(现场对决)深深震撼了他: - **传统说唱表演的局限**:当时大多数嘻哈歌手在台上追求一种“漫不经心的酷”,手抓裤裆慢步踱游,神态冷漠,极度抗拒过于夸张的肢体动作。 - **Dancehall 的现场统治力**:在面对 Sting 现场数万名狂热甚至挑剔的观众时,歌手不仅靠歌词取胜,更是依赖极具冲击力的视觉统治力——夸张夺目的服装、大幅度的空中踢腿、大幅挥舞的手势,以及机枪般变化的韵律和爆发力。 - **融合功夫美学**:Busta 自幼痴迷于邵氏功夫片和空手道电影,他将 Dancehall 极具侵略性的肢体动作与功夫动作融会贯通,打破了传统嘻哈歌手的刻板形象,形成了日后震撼乐坛的标志性台风。 ### [47:19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2839s) 像海绵一样汲取灵感:从牙买加音响战到无可匹敌的舞台风格 Busta Rhymes 回顾了自己舞台表现力的源头。他早早意识到,如果能够掌控呼吸节奏,不让自己在舞台上发疯般乱跳而过早耗尽体力,他就能变成一个极具杀伤力且难以被超越的表演者,因为当时根本没有同行敢像他这样在舞台上全情投入地移动。为了打磨这种统治力,他让自己彻底变成一名“学生”,无休止地穿梭于各大演出现场、俱乐部和街头巷尾,像海绵一样从各个角落汲取养分。对他影响最深的是加勒比与牙买加的 Sound Clash(音响对决)文化,包括传奇音乐盛会 Sting 上的激烈对抗,以及 Jammy's、Killamanjaro、英国的 Saxon Sound 和 Tippa Irie 等巨头与先驱的表现风格。正是这些地下文化滋养并塑造了他的骨血,让他将多元的灵感融会贯通,蜕变成独一无二的舞台巨兽。 - **核心灵感源泉**:牙买加及英国的声音对抗文化,包括 Sting clashes、King Jammy's、Killamanjaro 唱片系统,以及来自英国雷鬼厂牌 Saxon Studio International 和先锋 MC Tippa Irie 的现场技艺。 - **舞台策略**:严格管理呼吸与能量分配,以高强度的全场奔跑与肢体表现力形成对同行的降维打击。 --- ### [48:55](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2935s) 传承给下一代的核心基石:热爱、掌控力与超越金钱的使命感 针对主持人 Steven Bartlett 关于“若向如今已二三十岁的六个子女传授成功基石”的提问,Busta Rhymes 毫不犹豫地给出了最首要的铁律:找到你所热爱的事物,并持续钻研直到彻底精通,让你的热爱纯粹到任何人都无可置疑。他强调,真正的成功根源在于“行动的声音远大于言辞”,且绝不能从“追求金钱”的功利心态出发。只有当你无论有没有回报都渴望去做这件事时,你才是在填补灵魂深处的渴望。那种专注所带来的充实感,是再多财富也买不到的——现实中有太多坐拥巨资却内心空虚的人,始终无法体会到这种极致的幸福。 这种对音乐的纯粹热爱,不仅赋予了他精神寄托,也成为了他无条件庇护与照顾家庭的底气。Busta Rhymes 坦言,哪怕自己病倒住院、身体极度虚弱,他也能在病榻上创作出震撼人心的词句;即便自己无法亲自发声,也能将作品托付给他人演绎。只要这种源自真实灵感与情绪的创作被传递出去,它所创造的能量与价值不仅能确保家庭的福祉,更会在无数听众的生命中留下无法磨灭的烙印。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 成功基石与价值转化路径 accDescr: 展示从内在天赋与热爱出发,经历极致磨砺与妄想期,最终实现精神共鸣与物质回馈的闭环体系。 subgraph Phase1 ["内在探索与专注"] A["倾听内在直觉与天分"] --> B["确立不可动摇的真正热爱"] B --> C["极致磨砺直至完全精通"] end subgraph Phase2 ["行动与心理特质"] C --> D["不计收益的全情投入"] D --> E["极端特质:自私、偏执与绝对妄想"] end subgraph Phase3 ["现实映射与永恒影响"] E --> F["打破界限的传世作品"] F --> G["庇护家人与确立生活保障"] F --> H["跨越数十年的精神共鸣与改变他人宿命"] end ``` --- ### [52:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3134s) 穿越二十年的精神共鸣:从街头孩童到跨国巨头 CEO 的连结 谈到艺术作品的深远力量,Busta Rhymes 描述了一种让他最为“上瘾”的成就感:音乐能够跨越阶层与岁月,深植于大众的心智之中。他描绘了一个生动的场景:一个年仅十岁的小男孩,身穿印着黄色气球笑脸的 T 恤,骑着自行车和小伙伴在家门口一遍又一遍地循环播放他的歌,直到夜幕降临被母亲叫回家吃晚饭;正是这首歌点燃了那个男孩内心的火焰,改变了他的思维方式与人生轨迹。二十年后,那个孩子奋斗成了身价数亿美元的 Google 首席执行官,见到 Busta Rhymes 时依然会像当年一样激动地倾诉当年的触动,并渴望能与他坐在一起共同创造奇迹。 在 Busta Rhymes 看来,这种穿透生命周期的共鸣远比金钱更具魔力,并且没有任何教科书或学校能够教会这种本领。它不是常规的知识传授,而是通过作品把创作者与听众的灵魂熔铸在一起。当你通过创作让自己的意志在数以百万计的人心中长存,甚至改变他们的人生轨迹时,这种影响力就已经超越了个体凡人的范畴,走向了某种精神层面的永生。 --- ### [53:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3218s) 倾听内在的天赋神性:神圣创造力与严肃与幽默的平衡艺术 Busta Rhymes 深入探讨了每个人内在潜藏的特质。他认为无论称之为直觉、氛围(Vibe)、能量还是内心的声音,每个人生来都拥有某种神圣的天赋;只要人们愿意停下来倾听这个声音,它就有能力彻底扭转人生的轨迹。他直言,许多人觉得自称“神圣”(Godly / Gods and Earth)是大不敬,但他坚信人类本就是按照至高造物主的形象创造的,如果拒绝承认内在的神圣性而将自己贬为恶魔般的低劣状态,才是对自己存在本质的背叛。正是这种坚信自己无所不能的信念,支撑着他在艺术上打破一切常规。 他举了一个极为生动且接地气的例子:名曲《Woo Hah!! Got You All in Check》的诞生,仅仅是因为他坐在家里一边抽着大麻烟卷、一边吃着一碗燕麦谷物早餐,嘴里随性甚至滑稽地怪叫着。这种看似无厘头的即兴引得屋里所有人哄堂大笑,他便索性将其录进了唱片。结果这首带着幽默怪诞腔调的歌传遍了全球,甚至在瑞典演出时,满场的异国歌迷都在高呼那些他自己随性发挥的怪异词句。他指出,嘻哈文化崇尚“严肃与幽默的绝妙平衡”——就像经典黑帮电影里 Al Pacino 饰演的 Scarface(《疤面煞星》)或是 Joe Pesci 在《好家伙》(Goodfellas)里的角色一样,危险严肃中永远伴随着致命的荒诞幽默。这种兼具街头硬核与喜剧张力的平衡,成为了他艺术生涯最鲜明的标志。 - **经典代表作创作轶事**:《Woo Hah!! Got You All in Check》诞生于吃麦片与抽烟时的随性耍宝,凭借无拘无束的幽默感席卷全球包括瑞典等非英语母语国家。 - **文化参照**:街头艺术中对“严肃与幽默对立统一”的推崇,直接对应了电影史上的经典反派形象(如 Al Pacino 与 Joe Pesci 的角色演绎)。 --- ### [57:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3470s) 成功所需的极端人格特质:自私、偏执与在被认可前的“绝对妄想” 当话题转向通往巅峰必须具备的人格特征时,Busta Rhymes 给出了极其直接、甚至可能引发争议的答案。他明确指出,要想兑现非凡的命运,首要特质就是必须“极度自私”(selfish as hell)。他直言,没有巨大的牺牲和孤注一掷的冒险,就绝不可能换来巨大的回报,“这种数学逻辑永远无法被投机取巧所打破”。为了保护和践行自己的终极目标,一个人必须勇于在时间和精力上做出残酷的取舍。 紧随其后的核心特质则是“偏执狂般的狂热”(maniacal)、“绝不妥协”(uncompromising)以及“毫不动摇的坚定信念”(unwavering faith)。他甚至将这种信念直接定义为“完全的妄想”(complete delusion)。他阐释道,在你的构想最终成功之前,全世界都会指责你在痴人说梦、把你当成无可救药的疯子;但“妄想”与“天才”往往只有一线之隔——在结果被世人亲眼见证之前,它被称作妄想;一旦你跨越重重阻碍将其实现,原本的妄想便立刻在世人眼中蜕变成了未卜先知的“绝顶天才”。真正的开创者必须拥有深信自身妄想的心智力量,在无人看好的漆黑隧道中死守到底。 ### [01:00:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3614s) 所谓的“自私”与缺席孩子的成长 在探讨专注事业是否意味着“自私”时,Busta Rhymes 对这一概念做出了清晰的界定。他并不认为当年拒绝父亲让他去当电气承包商的安排属于自私,那充其量只是观念不同、不想走别人安排的路。对他而言,真正背负“自私”代价的,是他自己的孩子们。为了追求音乐梦想与生存,他缺席了无数永远无法重来的珍贵时刻:大儿子的中学毕业典礼、女儿的大学毕业典礼,甚至是教孩子学开车、教孩子骑自行车的关键瞬间。 这些缺席很大程度上源于现实处境的逼迫,而他也坦然承认,那些困局是自己亲手造成的,必须由自己承担责任。现实的选择极为残酷:要么全身心陪伴在孩子身边,但家庭的经济状况跌入谷底;要么把全部心力扑在热爱的事业上。录音室不仅是他热爱的来源,更是他心灵的避风港。当他走进录音室、关上那扇门的瞬间,所有生活琐事与矛盾都被隔绝在外——不需要面对孩子母亲的纠缠,没有感情生活中的争吵,也不必和无关紧要的人进行无谓的争论。在那四面墙之间,他感到自己正在践行天命、滋养灵魂,达到一种精神高度纯净与安宁的境界。在这种状态下创作出来的音乐拥有改变人心的力量;而当他从录音室走出来时,也能以更平和、更从容的心态去应对生活中的种种摩擦。 ### [01:03:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3836s) 缺席的内疚与生存的高压抉择 面对主持人 Steven Bartlett 表达的担忧——担心自己成为工作狂、错过未来孩子“唯一一次学骑自行车”的时刻,Busta Rhymes 坦言,自己至今仍生活在内疚之中,常常反思当年本可以放下某些工作去陪伴孩子。但他强调,这是站在当下的人生高度与心智水平做出的反思。当年的自己根本不具备现在的心智模式,而正是当年那种硬闯的生存思维,才铺就了他一路走来、最终拥有如今成熟认知的基石。 当年支撑他拼命工作的本质是“生存”。他需要同时应对四位孩子的母亲,频繁出入法院系统,每月背负着高额的抚养费支出,而各方的关系又极度紧张。在音乐商业市场起伏不定的情况下,现实却从不讲情面:无论你的生意处于巅峰还是谷底,法院不在乎,抚养费必须按月到账,孩子母亲更不会体谅;孩子需要生活与成长,而他们并没有要求被带到这个世界上。Busta Rhymes 从小受到的教育就是绝不能给自己找借口,“孩子无法选择降生在什么困境中,你没做好是你的问题,你必须找出解决办法”。尽管压力巨大,但他坚信上帝不会给人承受不了的重负。他希望向孩子们传达的最重要信念也是:永远把追求自己热爱的事物放在首位,即便这意味着某些时刻必须展现出坚定的“自私”,向身边的人说“我现在做不到,只能以后再说”。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 生存压力与专注录音室的心态循环 accDescr: 展示了多位母亲与法律责任带来的巨大生存压力,如何促使 Busta Rhymes 进入录音室寻求专注与解脱,并最终反哺现实生活的循环过程。 subgraph 现实生存压力 A["多位母亲与法院体系<br/>巨额抚养费责任"] --> B["商业波动与经济高压<br/>'孩子没有选择,不准找借口'"] end subgraph 录音室避风港 B --> C["录音室专注状态<br/>隔离外界争吵与琐事"] C --> D["精神滋养与音乐创造<br/>践行天命,恢复内心平静"] end D --> E["以更好的状态回归现实<br/>赚取资金维系家庭生存"] E -.-> A ``` ### [01:10:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4200s) 伯乐与挚友:Chris Lighty 的离世 谈到人生中的重大转折点,时间被定格在 2012 年。当时 42 岁的 Busta Rhymes 遭遇了生命中最沉重的打击之一——他的长期经纪人兼挚友 Chris Lighty(Violator 管理公司创始人)不幸离世。Chris 对 Busta 的职业生涯乃至整个人生具有不可估量的意义。继 Public Enemy 的 Chuck D 和 Hank Shocklee 之后,Busta 所学到的一切商业与生存之道都来自 Chris。 在 Chris 的运筹帷幄下,Busta 跨入了完全不同的收入层级,更换了顶级律师和预订经纪人,巡演规模全面升级。更重要的是,正是在 Chris 的助力下,Busta 自 1995 年起便能够底气十足地告诉母亲辞掉工作,从此安享晚年、再也不必为任何人打工。然而,回忆起得知 Chris 去世的那一天,Busta 依然难掩痛心与沉重,称那一天简直是“糟透了”。他提到,在 Chris 去世前的一段时期,由于某个女人的介入,Chris 的人生轨迹发生了不祥的转变,这也彻底改变了整个 Violator 大家庭内部的能量场与氛围。Busta 谨慎地指出,自己并非针对那名女性个人进行攻击,而是在客观还原那段导致悲剧的现实历程。 - **Chris Lighty 对其生涯的关键转变**: - 全面重塑商务团队,包括法务、演出预订代理人及税务结构。 - 创造了显著的商业回报,让 Busta 能够在 1995 年彻底让母亲退休,不再需要为生计奔波。 - 作为 Violator 管理公司的核心,奠定了 Busta Rhymes 在嘻哈黄金时代的超级巨星地位。 ### [01:12:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4330s) 最后的送别与震惊噩耗:克里斯·莱蒂之死 一段突如其来的变故彻底改变了一切,而这一切始于一位女性出现在克里斯·莱蒂(Chris Lighty)的生活中。那天,克里斯的女儿刚从大学放假回来,他需要前往曼哈顿的大中央车站(Grand Central Station)接她。克里斯向 Busta Rhymes 借车并请他顺道载自己一程。Busta 开车将他送到大中央车站,然而他怎么也没想到,那竟然是自己最后一次见到活着的克里斯。 第二天清晨,Busta 接到了克里斯助理打来的电话,称克里斯出事了。当 Busta 急切地追问到底发生了什么时,对方只语焉不详地反复说“他伤害了他自己”,并未直接说出死亡。随后助理接通了办公室另一位年轻女士的三方通话,电话那头传来绝望的哭喊与尖叫,对方失控地重复着“克里斯伤害了自己”,却无法说明具体情况。当他们追问克里斯是否已经身亡时,对方也表示并不清楚。Busta 等人火速赶往克里斯的住所,但警方已经封锁现场,不允许任何人进入屋内。 直到一辆法医验尸车(Coroner's van)呼啸而至并倒车紧贴地下室门停靠时,残酷的现实才真正浮出水面。克里斯的寓所有一个通往地下室的独立下沉门,正面则是通往楼上的正门,而惨剧正是在地下室发生的。当工作人员带着沉重的黑色裹尸袋走进地下室,再将装着克里斯遗体的袋子抬出来的那一刻,现场的所有侥幸被击得粉碎。克里斯永远不可能再回来了。现场瞬间被撕心裂肺的哭声、激烈的争吵甚至愤怒的威胁所淹没。 - **最后接触**:Busta 开车送克里斯·莱蒂前往曼哈顿大中央车站接从大学归来的女儿,这是两人最后一次会面。 - **噩耗传递**:次日早晨,助理与办公室员工通过三方通话告知噩耗,情绪崩溃尖叫,仅称“克里斯伤害了自己”。 - **现场目击**:法医勘验车倒车停入车道,工作人员将装有克里斯遗体的黑色裹尸袋从地下室抬出,确认身亡。 --- ### [01:16:02](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4562s) 迷失方向与停滞的音乐生涯:双重丧亲之痛 失去克里斯之后,Busta 的整个人生被彻底推向了一个陌生的轨道,他陷入了前所未有的混乱与迷茫。在漫长的职业生涯中,他从未在没有经理人的情况下独自打理事务,而克里斯·莱蒂远不止是一个经纪人,他更是亲如手足的兄弟。这种突如其来的失控感令他感到恐惧,也直接导致他整整九年没有发行任何个人专辑。 在此期间,Busta 转向幕后经营,尝试签约并扶持其他艺人。他成功推出了 O.T. Genasis,打造了轰动一时的音乐热潮,随后又陆续签下了 Stove God Cooks 以及知名说唱歌手 Murda Mook。然而,这种幕后工作无法填补他内心的空虚与失落。在没有建立起值得全身心信赖的后盾之前,他完全无法重返属于自己的舞台。他坦言自己从心理层面上彻底“支离破碎”了——尽管他努力尝试身兼数职、独自扛下所有商业与艺术责任,但他根本无法达到克里斯曾经为他保驾护航的高度。 更沉重的打击接踵而至:就在失去克里斯短短两年后的2014年,Busta 又失去了自己的生父。生命中最重要的两位男性支柱在短时间内先后离世。虽然在父亲辞世之前两人已经彻底和解,解开了多年的心结,但残酷之处在于,他们根本没有足够的时间去享受和解后的天伦之乐。一想到过去因倔强与争吵而虚掷的大把光阴,Busta 心中便充斥着无尽的悔恨与痛苦:“那些因为合不来而浪费的时间,真是该死的愚蠢。” ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 失去至亲导致的心理与职业停滞路径 accDescr: 描绘从2012年克里斯·莱蒂去世和2014年父亲去世,导致Busta心理崩溃、音乐停摆9年的流程 subgraph DualLoss ["至亲连续离世"] A["2012年:经纪人兼兄弟 Chris Lighty 离世"] B["2014年:父亲离世(刚和解不久)"] end subgraph Impact ["心理崩溃与事业转型"] C["失去心理支撑与保护网<br/>无法独自承担所有管理角色"] D["个人音乐事业停滞长达9年<br/>转向幕后签约 O.T. Genasis 等艺人"] E["沉浸于时间虚掷的巨大悔恨与悲痛"] end A --> C B --> E C --> D E --> D ``` - **9年未出个人专辑**:失去克里斯后缺乏能够提供心理安全感和全方位支撑的团队,使他无法自信登台。 - **厂牌运作与签约**:退居幕后运作艺人,成功推广了 O.T. Genasis,并签下 Stove God Cooks 和 Murda Mook。 - **双重打击时间线**:2012年失去经纪人克里斯·莱蒂;2014年失去父亲。生命中最重要的两个男人在两年内相继离开。 --- ### [01:19:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4750s) 身体濒临崩溃:酗酒、暴增至340磅与儿子的恳求 为了麻痹至亲离世带来的巨大痛苦、挫败与折磨,Busta 开始无节制地透支自己的身体。他用超负荷的工作麻痹神经,并严重依赖酒精、大麻和卷烟。恶性循环之下,他的体重飙升至惊人的 340 磅(约 154 公斤),对于原本体格并不属于极度肥胖骨架的他而言,这无异于自残。回顾当时的照片,皮肤暗淡,脸上布满诡异的斑块与暗沉痕迹,连他自己都厌恶那些影像中透出的衰败与死气。正如书籍《身体从未忘记》(The Body Keeps the Score)所揭示的那样,当心理机制崩溃时,身体会最先呈现出毁灭性的代价。 极度肥胖导致了严重的睡眠呼吸暂停症。在洛杉矶一家名为 Poppy 的俱乐部狂欢之后,Busta 喝到不省人事,甚至不是普通的昏睡,而是彻底失去了唤醒自身的能力。他的儿子和安保人员足足花了45分钟才将他叫醒。次日,儿子神情严肃地将他拉到一旁谈话。 那一刻的对话彻底击碎了 Busta 的防线。儿子极为克制地对他说:“听着,我不想伤你的心,因为你是我父亲……我甚至不知道自己现在有没有力气把话说出口,但我昨晚和安保人员深谈过了,我需要你去听听他们怎么说,因为我实在太害怕当面告诉你我的感受了。”那是儿子人生中第一次用这种沉重的语气同他交流。看着平日里光芒万丈的父亲沦落至此,儿子眼中满是克制与恐惧,这让 Busta 第一次真切意识到自己彻底让儿子失望了。 - **体重与外貌改变**:体重激增至 340 磅(约 154 公斤),面部出现明显病态印记,伴随严重的睡眠呼吸暂停症。 - **Poppy 俱乐部危机**:醉酒至无法自行清醒,安保与儿子花费整整45分钟才将其唤醒。 - **儿子的隐忍干预**:儿子因顾及父亲尊严而不敢直接斥责,转而要求安保向父亲转达严重性,深深震撼了 Busta。 --- ### [01:22:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4921s) 呼吸道堵塞90%的生死悬崖与重获新生的契机 次日,因服用泼尼松(Prednisone)且呼吸异常粗重,Busta 前去就医。当医生尚未迈进诊室门时,仅凭门外听到的粗重喘息声便惊愕地发问:“你为什么会那样呼吸?”在过去三年中,由于身体机能逐渐恶化,Busta 甚至已经对这种病态的喘息声习以为常。医生立刻使用内窥仪器检查其咽喉,结果令人毛骨悚然:其声带息肉(polyps)极度肿大,已经死死堵塞了整整 90% 的气道。 医生当场下达病危警告:如果现在放他回家,只要吹到中央空调受凉感冒,喉咙轻微发炎肿胀就会将剩下的 10% 气管彻底堵死,他会在当晚的睡眠中窒息死亡。医生要求立刻呼叫救护车将其送往加州大学洛杉矶分校医疗中心(Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center)急诊室,并安排次日紧急手术。当 Busta 固执地拒绝乘坐救护车时,医生严厉地勒令他必须签署免责声明:“如果你不听医嘱,在离开这里到抵达医院期间发生意外死亡,本诊所概不负责。” 在医院急诊室做术前初步检查时,赶到现场的儿子彻底卸下了所有防备,声泪俱下地向他哀求:“我昨晚以为你真的要死了……我从来没这么害怕过。我已经失去了爷爷,我不能再失去你了。求求你别再喝酒了,别再抽烟了,求你变回那个我认识的爸爸好吗?”这句话如同重锤击碎了所有的借口,Busta 在心中立下毒誓:只要做完手术活下来,一定要彻底重塑体型、挽救人生。 在术后回家的路上,命运为他推开了一扇窗。Busta 在浏览社交媒体动态时,偶然刷到了前健美奥林匹亚先生(Mr. Olympia)冠军德克斯特·杰克逊(Dexter Jackson)。视频里,杰克逊正开着车穿行在佛罗里达州杰克逊维尔,嘴里正饶有兴致地哼唱着 Busta 的代表作《Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See》。Busta 随即给杰克逊发去私信求助:“杰克逊先生,我是你的超级粉丝,我们能通个电话吗?我真的需要你的帮助。”杰克逊迅速发来了私人号码。电话接通后,杰克逊只问了一句:“你确定你真的准备好了吗,Bus?”Busta 坚定地给出了肯定的答复,一段拯救生命与重塑身体的康复之旅就此拉开序幕。 - **致命诊断**:咽喉巨大息肉堵塞高达 90% 的呼吸道,医生警告一次普通感冒的黏膜肿胀即可引发夜间窒息猝死。 - **紧急送医**:拒绝救护车后被迫签署免责声明,随后前往 UCLA 医疗中心急诊室准备次日手术。 - **儿子的终极通牒**:“我已经失去了爷爷,我不能再失去你”,恳求他戒酒戒烟,回到健康状态。 - **命运的转折点**:看到前奥林匹亚先生德克斯特·杰克逊在车中哼唱自己的经典歌曲,主动在社交媒体私信求救,开启健身体能恢复计划。 ### [01:25:33](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5133s) 杰克逊维尔的30天封闭蜕变 为了彻底摆脱健康危机并重塑生活,教练给 Busta Rhymes 下达了极为严苛的考验:必须前往佛罗里达州的杰克逊维尔(Jacksonville)并独自待满整整 30 天。教练直接告诉他:“告诉你女友她不能来,告诉你的孩子们 30 天后再见。在我们继续后面的旅程之前,我必须让你经历这整整 30 天的严酷考验。如果你能挺过这 30 天,我就知道你是动真格的了。”面对这项挑战,Busta 毫不犹豫地租下了一座拥有大约七间卧室的大豪宅,并组建了一支全天候的支持团队入驻:一名负责全程记录蜕变过程的摄像师、一名专职配餐大厨,以及一名专业的按摩理疗师——因为他清楚每天的高强度训练会把自己的肌肉彻底撕裂摧残,必须有人帮助放松肌肉以维持训练节奏。此外,他还把录音工程师直接接到了宅邸中,确保自己无需迈出大门一步就能完成音乐录制,再加上一名助理,整个封闭环境就此搭建完毕。 在这座豪宅中闭关苦练 30 天后,Busta 成功减掉了约 27 磅体重。能够把生活和身体从悬崖边拉回来,他深深归功于身边的专业导师团队:第一位是健美运动员兼教练 Victor Munoz,另一位则是健美界的传奇、奥林匹亚先生(Mr. Olympia)Dexter Jackson。当身体重新恢复健康,心智与精神状态也随之彻底调整归位。更令他动容的是家庭氛围的变化:当他看着镜子重新为自己感到自豪时,孩子们看着他的眼神也完全不同了。Busta 感慨道,孩子们只有在亲眼看到你真正付出汗水、把事情做成并显现出真实成效后,才会发自内心地说出那些赞美与肯定之词。听到孩子们说出那些充满认可与爱意的话语,他的精神世界获得了无比强大的支撑与提振。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 30天极限封闭蜕变体系 accDescr: 展示Busta在杰克逊维尔豪宅中组建的专业团队支持体系及其身心蜕变流程 subgraph SupportTeam ["全封闭保障团队"] A["私人配餐大厨\n(营养管控)"] B["专业按摩理疗师\n(肌肉恢复)"] C["录音工程师\n(足不出户创作)"] D["跟拍摄像与助理\n(纪律督导与记录)"] end subgraph Coaching ["顶级教练指导"] E["健美名将 Victor Munoz"] F["奥林匹亚先生 Dexter Jackson"] end subgraph Outcome ["30天蜕变成效"] G["高强度每日特训"] --> H["减重 27 磅"] H --> I["身心精神全面复苏"] I --> J["重获自豪感与家庭认可"] end SupportTeam --> G Coaching --> G ``` ### [01:27:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5259s) 《Blockbusta》与新旧世代的碰撞 随后的全球疫情又在精神、情感与心理层面上带来了极其严峻的考验。然而,在音乐兄弟 Pharrell Williams、Swizz Beatz 以及 Timbaland 的通力协作下,四人共同担任执行制作人,打造并推出了全新重磅专辑《Blockbusta》。Steven Bartlett 指出,这张专辑不仅凝聚了 Busta 毕生的经历与人生故事,更显现出一个非常独特的特质:Busta 曾经与乐坛几乎所有人都有过合作,但在这张新专辑里,他特意邀请并提携了大量此前从未共事过的年轻新锐艺术家,将聚光灯和舞台慷慨地分享给他们。 谈及提携年轻人的初衷,Busta 明确给出了两个核心原因。首先,他坚决唾弃并拒绝接受所谓“老一辈前辈或老派 MC 不尊重年轻新一代”的流行论调,直斥这种言论完全是无稽之谈("That shit is bullshit")。Busta 强调,至少对自己以及他身边聚合的这群艺术家而言,大家绝没有这种排挤新人的心态。回顾自己年轻时,他们最渴望的就是行业老大哥们能伸出臂膀拥抱自己,传授行业真经和生活经验,帮助他们变得更强。当年,正是 Chuck D 为他赐下了“Busta Rhymes”这个艺名;传奇说唱歌手 Big Daddy Kane 经常让他去家里请教提问,带着他参与自己的演出,并让他登上自己的专辑录制;De La Soul 等先驱同样给予了他无微不至的指引与提携。正是前辈们的引领铸就了他的伟大,因此将这份恩泽传递给下一代优秀的年轻说唱歌手,完全是义不容辞的责任。 - **传承前人的恩泽**:Chuck D 赐名、Big Daddy Kane 提供家庭指导并带上巡演舞台、De La Soul 等众多传奇悉心带路。 - **双向激发的创作动力**:年轻一代的才华激发 Busta 在录音室保持如“剃刀般锋利”(razor blade sharp)的竞技状态。 - **文化与风格的致敬**:许多年轻说唱歌手梳着他当年的脏辫发型、佩戴着沉重的粗金项链,不仅展现出对经典的致敬,也让 Busta 感到彼此审美与文化的紧密相连。 ### [01:30:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5446s) 并非交出火炬,而是共享火焰 Busta 进一步阐述,老一辈不仅要为年轻人提供创意层面的答案、指导与建议,还要在年轻人走进唱片公司会议室、面对律师和经纪人谈判商业合同时提供商业护航,更要真诚地表达爱意:“我们也是你们作品的粉丝,我们看到你们在向我们致敬,我们也同样在向你们致敬。”Steven Bartlett 赞叹道,当过去与当下完美交汇时,未来便由此诞生;很多人常把这种跨代合作比作“传递火炬”(passing the torch),但 Busta 实际在做的是“共享火焰”(sharing the flame)。Busta 对此极为认同并激动地大呼:“你说得太对了!因为我可没打算在近期把自己的火熄灭!” Steven 感慨,纵横乐坛 33 年,Busta 依然能在大型体育馆举行场场售罄的巡演并统治舞台,两代艺术家的聚首赋予了新专辑无与伦比的深度。在节目的尾声,Busta 对 Steven Bartlett 表达了高度赞赏与敬佩。他坦言自己事先没有接受任何提问公关准备,Steven 提问的深度和涉及的领域完全出乎意料;在长达 33 年的职业生涯中,他从未做过如此有深度的专访,更从未在欧洲与任何主持人面对面深谈如此之久,Steven 由此创下了一项全新的个人访谈纪录。 - **跨世代共鸣**:Steven 提到自己就像当年被 Busta 启发的 10 岁谷歌 CEO 一样,如今依然视 Busta 为人生偶像。 - **访谈纪录**:Busta 从艺 33 年来最深入、也是在欧洲历时最长的一次面对面深度对话。 ### [01:33:19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5599s) 赞助商信息与结语 在访谈收尾后,Steven Bartlett 分享了来自节目赞助商的相关动态。作为投资人兼合作伙伴,Steven 宣布营养代餐品牌 Huel 历经长达三年的研发,终于攻克了营养与口感难以平衡的技术难题,推出了一款真正营养完整的高蛋白代餐零食棒。该产品富含高蛋白、27 种维生素与矿物质,且仅含 2 克糖分,彻底摆脱了传统蛋白棒如同咀嚼橡皮泥或硬纸板般的粗糙口感。此外,针对供不应求的热门产品“The Conversation Cards”,Steven 提醒听众可通过节目简介中的专属链接或访问 theconversationcards.com 加入候补名单,成功加入者将享有提前一小时优先抢购的专属权益。 ## Notable quotes > [01:43](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=103s) 惹一次麻烦,就意味着要挨两顿胖揍。 — Busta Rhymes > [06:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=360s) 我确实误入歧途了。 — Busta Rhymes > [13:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=826s) I don't want to hear that shit, that shit is a bunch of bullshit and you wasting your time with that shit. — Busta Rhymes的父亲 > [25:59](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=1559s) 我来这里是为了支持你、给你打节拍,你他妈居然当着所有人的面羞辱我? — Busta Rhymes > [38:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2319s) 总有一天,我会拿到唱片合约,签下大单,带着巨额现金回家,亲口对父亲说一声——‘我早告诉过你’。 — Busta Rhymes > [43:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=2608s) 看到了吧,我早告诉你了!你就是个浪费时间的愚蠢小丑!明天老老实实跟我去工作,学学什么叫安稳度日,少在这做说唱梦! — Busta Rhymes的父亲 > [01:03:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=3836s) 孩子无法选择降生在什么困境中,你没做好是你的问题,你必须找出解决办法。 — Busta Rhymes > [01:16:02](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4562s) 那些因为合不来而浪费的时间,真是该死的愚蠢。 — Busta Rhymes > [01:19:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4750s) 听着,我不想伤你的心,因为你是我父亲……我甚至不知道自己现在有没有力气把话说出口,但我昨晚和安保人员深谈过了,我需要你去听听他们怎么说,因为我实在太害怕当面告诉你我的感受了。 — Busta Rhymes的儿子 > [01:22:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=4921s) 我昨晚以为你真的要死了……我从来没这么害怕过。我已经失去了爷爷,我不能再失去你了。求求你别再喝酒了,别再抽烟了,求你变回那个我认识的爸爸好吗? — Busta Rhymes的儿子 > [01:25:33](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5133s) 告诉你女友她不能来,告诉你的孩子们 30 天后再见。在我们继续后面的旅程之前,我必须让你经历这整整 30 天的严酷考验。如果你能挺过这 30 天,我就知道你是动真格的了。 — 健身教练 > [01:30:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg&t=5446s) 你说得太对了!因为我可没打算在近期把自己的火熄灭! — Busta Rhymes ## Mentioned Busta Rhymes, Steven Bartlett, Leaders of the New School, Charlie Brown, Dinco D, Cut Monitor Milo, Mystery, LL Cool J, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, Run-D.M.C., Jam Master Jay, Chuck D, Hank Shocklee, Public Enemy, Big Daddy Kane, De La Soul, Chris Lighty, Violator 管理公司, O.T. Genasis, Stove God Cooks, Murda Mook, Dexter Jackson, Victor Munoz, Pharrell Williams, Swizz Beatz, Timbaland, Blockbusta, Woo Hah!! Got You All in Check, Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See, 加州大学洛杉矶分校医疗中心 (Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center), Huel, The Conversation Cards, The Body Keeps the Score ## Video description If you enjoy hearing about inside the music industry and its artists, I recommend you check out my conversation with will.i.am, which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m-2QhqdlfI 00:00 Intro 01:43 Early context 09:49 How your parents' divorce affected you 17:02 I wanted to prove my father wrong 21:04 Why did you want to rap? 23:56 Becoming an accidental MC 34:53 The addiction to entertaining people & their reactions 42:08 Father pushing you away from hip hop because he loved you 45:16 Why you? 48:11 What are the fundamentals that people need for success? 57:50 What character traits do they need to have? 01:03:56 Do you feel guilty for missing your children's life events? 01:10:00 Your manager and friend, Chris 01:16:41 Why I stopped doing music for 9 years 01:19:10 Starting to abuse my body into an early grave 01:24:34 Getting my life back on track 01:27:58 Your new album 01:30:46 Passing on the flame to new artists You can listen to Busta’s newest album ‘Blockbusta’, here: https://spoti.fi/40UxsvS Follow Busta: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3t0odO6 Twitter: https://bit.ly/49VkjGS Join the waitlist for The Conversation Cards: http://theconversationcards.com/ Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGq-a57w-aPwyi3pW7XLiHw/join FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://x.com/StevenBartlett?s=20 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsors: Zoe: http://joinzoe.com with an exclusive code CEO10 for 10% off Linkedin: http://linkedin.com/doac Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb Conversation cards: https://bit.ly/41JuSYH [Source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRjzQuzX-tg)

Source quotes

[1:43] Busta Rhymes: 惹一次麻烦,就意味着要挨两顿胖揍。 [6:00] Busta Rhymes: 我确实误入歧途了。 [13:46] Busta Rhymes的父亲: I don't want to hear that shit, that shit is a bunch of bullshit and you wasting your time with that shit. [25:59] Busta Rhymes: 我来这里是为了支持你、给你打节拍,你他妈居然当着所有人的面羞辱我? [38:39] Busta Rhymes: 总有一天,我会拿到唱片合约,签下大单,带着巨额现金回家,亲口对父亲说一声——‘我早告诉过你’。 [43:28] Busta Rhymes的父亲: 看到了吧,我早告诉你了!你就是个浪费时间的愚蠢小丑!明天老老实实跟我去工作,学学什么叫安稳度日,少在这做说唱梦! [63:56] Busta Rhymes: 孩子无法选择降生在什么困境中,你没做好是你的问题,你必须找出解决办法。 [76:02] Busta Rhymes: 那些因为合不来而浪费的时间,真是该死的愚蠢。 [79:10] Busta Rhymes的儿子: 听着,我不想伤你的心,因为你是我父亲……我甚至不知道自己现在有没有力气把话说出口,但我昨晚和安保人员深谈过了,我需要你去听听他们怎么说,因为我实在太害怕当面告诉你我的感受了。 [82:01] Busta Rhymes的儿子: 我昨晚以为你真的要死了……我从来没这么害怕过。我已经失去了爷爷,我不能再失去你了。求求你别再喝酒了,别再抽烟了,求你变回那个我认识的爸爸好吗? [85:33] 健身教练: 告诉你女友她不能来,告诉你的孩子们 30 天后再见。在我们继续后面的旅程之前,我必须让你经历这整整 30 天的严酷考验。如果你能挺过这 30 天,我就知道你是动真格的了。 [90:46] Busta Rhymes: 你说得太对了!因为我可没打算在近期把自己的火熄灭!

Source quotes

[20:04] Busta Rhymes: Do I want to be an electrician? No... Do I want to see rats and roaches crawling over my shoes and my Timberland boots? I don't want to do none of that. [26:47] Busta Rhymes: I'm looking at this dude and I'm just looking at him like I'm a f*** you up in two seconds because you a b**** to me, but you disrespecting me in front of all these people... if I don't do something then they going to look at me like I'm a b**** too. [39:30] Busta Rhymes: I used to write the shit on my wall and just on a piece of paper and I would stick it on the wall and it would say: One day I'm going to get a deal, I'm gonna sign a contract, I'm gonna come home with so much fucking money that I'm going to be able to tell my father 'I told you so.' [41:54] Busta Rhymes: He was hitting me with the 'I told you so' that night. 'See, I tell you, yo, you waste your time with this little idiot rapper boy shit. Come and work, that's why I'm going tell you for come to work so you can learn some stability and stop waste your time with this rapper shit.' [45:14] Busta Rhymes: In hip-hop you seeing dudes just walking around... act like they too cool to be that animated. Me, I love that shit. I love kung fu movies, I love karate movies... I just took all of that shit and I said, 'I'm gonna turn this into what I'm gonna do on these stages.' [48:11] Busta Rhymes: Identify with what you love, and once you love it, hone in on that thing until you can master it to the point where people can identify that there's no questioning your love for it. [54:53] Busta Rhymes: When I step up in the place, option step your steps correct / Woo-hah! Got you all in check! [57:50] Busta Rhymes: Complete delusion. You got to believe the delusion, because it's only delusional until it works... A motherfucker only going to call it delusion until it work... and then once the world see it, there's nothing delusional about it now. Your delusion becomes: 'Oh, he was a fucking genius.' [63:56] Busta Rhymes: Your kid didn't ask to be put in a situation that you cannot do what you're supposed to do for them... You have to find a solution. [83:44] Busta Rhymes' Son: I lost Grandpa already, I can't lose you too. Can you please stop drinking, can you please stop smoking, can you please get back to the daddy that I know you to be?

Original transcript

[0:00] this is the Buster Rhymes that none of [0:02] us have ever seen before Buster Rhymes [0:04] says it himself this is a buster Rhymes [0:06] that nobody's ever seen [0:08] before you will walk away from this [0:11] conversation understanding not only what [0:13] it takes to reach the very peak of your [0:15] powers but to stay there for 33 years to [0:19] have the insane consistency discipline [0:22] dedication and in his words addiction to [0:25] something that will take you to the very [0:28] top but then also you'll see the forces [0:30] in life that take you from that Peak to [0:33] the deepest depths of darkness and once [0:36] you're in that [0:37] Darkness how do you rise from it how did [0:40] Buster take himself from the darkest [0:43] moment of his life that he's really not [0:45] talked about ever before back to the [0:48] peak of his [0:49] powers this is a human story it's one of [0:51] the most inspiring stories we've ever [0:53] had on this show and it's a side of a [0:55] guy that we've known for many many [0:56] decades that I have never seen before [0:59] thank you to bust for this conversation [1:01] and if you like this conversation if you [1:03] like what we do here on the D of CE [1:04] before we get started I've got a [1:05] 10-second favor to ask you about 62% of [1:09] you roughly that listen to this podcast [1:10] frequently haven't yet hit the Subscribe [1:12] button so if you can hit that subscribe [1:14] button it is the reason why we're able [1:16] to get guests like Buster rymes to come [1:18] here and have these conversations with [1:20] me I feel like we're a team here give a [1:22] little take a little so if you could hit [1:24] that subscribe button that would be [1:25] absolutely amazing it's the only favor [1:26] that I'll ever ask from you and I [1:29] promise you in return turn that I'll do [1:30] everything to give you more guest like [1:32] this one and guest that you love enjoy [1:35] this [1:36] [Music] [1:42] episode Buster sometimes I think that [1:46] with maturity and with age we're able to [1:48] look back at our earliest years and [1:49] connect dots that only our maturity and [1:52] only our own growth and development [1:54] allow us to connect and those dots [1:56] sometimes indicate to [1:57] us why and how we became the person we [2:00] are today and that's really what I'm so [2:03] compelled to understand with you is what [2:05] is that early context that you look back [2:07] on now when you go the reason I am the [2:09] man I am today sat here is because of [2:12] this early context and these things and [2:14] these people what is that honestly have [2:17] to say it starts with my mother and my [2:19] father [2:23] um my mother and my father was was [2:26] strict you know what I'm saying and they [2:28] also made sure that I didn't need for [2:30] nothing I was able to really enjoy what [2:33] it was to be a child [2:36] and you know I don't I don't have to sit [2:38] here and and mislead people like I come [2:42] from some poor struggle and I come from [2:47] this this hood [ __ ] like yeah I was in [2:51] the hood I was in Brooklyn East Flatbush [2:53] Brooklyn New York and I was in the hood [2:55] with enough of the the goons and the [2:58] Hooligans but [3:00] the difference about our era and the way [3:04] you you mostly hear artists try to [3:05] portray it now is even the guys that was [3:08] the goons and the gangsters and the [3:10] troublemakers in the street they had [3:12] respect and they had integrity and they [3:14] understood what it was to have proper [3:16] manners [3:17] like if my [3:20] mother as serious as she [3:23] was saw any of the other kids in the [3:25] street it was the like I'm giving you an [3:27] example of how it really literally took [3:29] a village to ra a child like none of the [3:31] Neighbors on the Block would see another [3:33] child that they watch grow from a little [3:35] boy into becoming a teenager or [3:37] something and see that kid misbehaving [3:39] and not reprimand him in the street even [3:42] if they not his parent so my neighbors [3:46] had permission to to bust my ass if I [3:48] was misbehaving and then they would tell [3:50] my mother and if my mother felt like I [3:53] misrepresented her to make another [3:55] neighbor have to discipline me that was [3:57] going to get me another ass beaten so [3:59] you ended up getting two ass [4:01] beaten for every one trouble that you [4:04] caused you know what I'm saying and and [4:06] that's that [ __ ] was important because I [4:09] think that as a community that [ __ ] is [4:13] something that's it doesn't exist [4:14] anymore you can't tell no nobody else [4:17] kid nothing kids ain't trying to listen [4:19] to you tell them nothing they'll lift up [4:22] something and fling it after you or or [4:23] or go upside your head if and disrespect [4:26] you because it's just a totally [4:28] different [4:30] value in the way things are done in the [4:33] community so it starts with my parents [4:36] and the way I was raised in in the house [4:38] to have respect for my parents have [4:40] respect for my other Elders even if he [4:43] wasn't my parent and [4:45] also even if you was dudes that was in [4:47] the street you still an elder we had to [4:49] respect you as an elder in in return [4:52] that same respect that came from the [4:55] house and you whenever you went abroad [4:57] and you conducted yourself in that [4:59] manner would garnish the same respect in [5:01] return so even if it was a dude in the [5:04] street on some Street [ __ ] the respect [5:06] that you showed to that Elder still [5:10] warranted a certain respect from them [5:13] they wouldn't disrespect the respect [5:15] that you was raised in your house to [5:16] have for your family and for them so [5:21] that respect was upheld and it was that [5:24] that integrity was defended [5:27] and that was a real [5:30] solid foundation that all of the other [5:33] flaw was built on which eventually [5:35] evolved into becoming a skyscraper for [5:37] me so I'mma start there with the kids [5:41] then I'm I'mma go to the neighborhood [5:43] because again when my parents was around [5:45] I got the same disciplining from the [5:48] neighbors the hardworking middle class [5:51] families the less fortunate families [5:54] that was still in the neighborhood we [5:55] all was on the same Accord about [5:57] discipline and respect was it it was it [6:00] easy to see when you look back how you [6:01] could have gone another way in that [6:03] context absolutely because all of those [6:05] things were still there the drug dealing [6:07] was still there the shootings were still [6:09] happening the robberies were still [6:12] happening all of that was there right [6:14] but the beautiful thing was there was a [6:17] serious presence of [6:20] balance that was just as impressionable [6:24] as all of the things that was the [6:27] negative presence that was strong and [6:30] that did get a stronghold on a lot of [6:32] the youth in the community at the time [6:33] too how come you didn't go the other way [6:36] I [6:37] did I did I just was fortunate enough to [6:40] have something like hip hop that was [6:42] able to be an alternative that saved my [6:44] life changed my [6:45] life and I had some incredible people [6:49] that was around me to [6:51] support me when I [6:54] found this interest and and I identified [6:57] with my gift as [7:00] and artists to be able [7:03] [Music] [7:05] to entertain [7:07] people [7:10] perform articulate my thoughts through [7:12] song and Ry [7:14] form and I had an incredible support [7:17] system with my moms I had an incredible [7:20] support system with just the other [7:22] friends and family that I grew up with [7:23] that was in the community and then last [7:27] but not least the determination that I [7:30] had to want to be able to not disappoint [7:33] the people that I knew that really was [7:35] proud of what I was doing good bad or [7:38] indifferent who are [7:40] they it was it was all of them all of [7:43] them right so for example I pissed my [7:45] mom's off when I decideed I wanted to [7:47] start selling weed and selling crack [7:50] right and the guys that was in the [7:52] street that I was doing it [7:55] with when they realized even though I [7:58] was doing it and it was cool for us to [8:00] do it they didn't really want us to do [8:02] it when they started to see that we had [8:04] potential to do other things that was [8:06] going to keep us safe and keep us away [8:09] from the street a lot of the time they [8:11] didn't have a better opportunity to [8:13] offer us so they made sure that they was [8:15] as present as they could be to gu us [8:17] through the [ __ ] that they didn't even [8:18] want us to do in the first place which [8:20] was the the stupidness we was carrying [8:22] on with in the [8:23] street so they did everything they could [8:25] to minimize the [ __ ] that we would [8:27] get into so we don't get k so we don't [8:30] go to jail so you know none of that [ __ ] [8:32] would happen but once they realize they [8:35] didn't have a better opportunity for us [8:37] that is what they felt was the best that [8:39] they could do if they if we're going to [8:41] do the [ __ ] we got to be there to [8:44] protect them and make sure that they [8:45] straight and we guide them so that they [8:46] could do it the best way with the least [8:50] amount of [ __ ] as a younger as a [8:52] younger kid right when they started to [8:54] see that this rapping thing and this [8:56] hip-hop [ __ ] and break dancing and and [8:59] graffiti and DJing and all of that [ __ ] [9:02] was something that we started to [9:03] generate interest for that's when they [9:06] started to encourage us to do that more [9:09] instead of cracking instead of selling [9:10] the drugs instead of selling weed [9:12] instead of stealing this and taking that [9:15] and so they were so happy to see we [9:18] found another way they wanted us to do [9:22] that so the more we did [9:24] that if we started to show them in [9:27] indication as we was making in progress [9:30] that we wasn't continuing to be [9:33] productive now it felt like you was [9:35] pissing off two sets of [9:37] parents I'm already pissing off my [9:39] parents cuz I'm with them in the street [9:41] now they see me doing this music [ __ ] [9:43] they like that [ __ ] they proud of me so [9:45] if I'm not doing well in that now I'm [9:47] disappointing them too what was the [9:50] consequence of your parents separating [9:51] at 11 years old cuz I think about me [9:53] being 11 years old I remember a [9:54] conversation my mom my mom's Nigerian I [9:56] was born in bwana my dad's English right [9:58] I remember at around that age about 10 [10:00] years old my parents calling me in and [10:02] basically telling me they didn't love [10:03] any each other anymore and it was like [10:05] the world had broken in half yeah it [10:07] like you can't comprehend the concept of [10:09] these two people being separate it's [10:11] like being torn into two pieces how was [10:13] it for you at 11 years old when you find [10:15] that out it was disastrous for me [10:17] because um like you said you can't [10:19] really ever wrap your head around that [10:21] as a child you don't know how to [10:23] conceptualize that like [10:26] um obviously there was things that I was [10:29] able to do and and it was enjoyment I [10:32] was able to have when I spent time with [10:33] my father that I I couldn't get when I [10:36] was with my [10:37] mother there was things that I was [10:39] always able to get as far as nurturing [10:41] and being cared for and being baby from [10:44] my mother that I couldn't get from my [10:46] father and obviously divine order is [10:48] Mother and Father to make baby right [10:52] so I definitely didn't want to [10:54] lose neither one of them did you change [10:58] I definitely Chang because um I wasn't [11:02] um I couldn't figure out how to find my [11:05] my my [11:08] uh the the the behaved kid that I was [11:12] even though I was still getting into [11:14] [ __ ] the the [ __ ] really started [11:17] once my mother and my father got a [11:19] divorce the misbehaving really started [11:22] picking up the the disrespect started to [11:25] pick up and intensify the anger was just [11:28] a lot more [11:29] more why it overwhelmed me more because [11:32] I was just I wasn't happy with my [11:34] situation and then I wasn't happy [11:39] with the the way that I was directly [11:42] impacted by their beef so [11:46] like you know there would be times [11:50] when if my mother and my father wasn't [11:52] getting [11:53] along fresh discrepancy between the two [11:56] of them say like the day of my father [11:59] posted to pick up me and my brother cuz [12:01] I only got one younger brother and say [12:03] he supposed to come and pick us up on [12:05] this day and particularly for his [12:07] visitation weekend if a [12:12] argument started with the two of them [12:15] that [12:19] morning you know my father would get to [12:22] the house and then my mother wouldn't [12:23] even let us go and we would look and see [12:25] him in the front of the house from the [12:27] window [12:29] and my mom's would just be on some [12:33] [ __ ] how did you feel looking at him [12:35] from the window it [ __ ] crazy you [12:37] wanted to go I'm guessing of course you [12:39] know what I'm saying because there was [12:40] things and there was other family that [12:44] obviously was on my father's side [12:47] cousins and kids from the neighborhoods [12:50] of the [12:51] cousins uh part of Brooklyn or queens [12:54] and different areas of New York that we [12:56] would go that we had friends and [13:00] with the family and with the [13:02] neighborhood friends that we met through [13:04] our other family and other cousins and [13:07] things of that nature in the different [13:08] neighbor we we we wouldn't get to see [13:10] these people until Dad came to get us [13:13] because Mom's wasn't cool really with [13:16] that side of the family like that my [13:18] father's side of the family wasn't [13:19] really rocking with my mother's side of [13:21] the family like that so if that rotation [13:23] didn't happen in the visits we didn't [13:26] get to enjoy that we missed out with Dad [13:28] we was only get to [13:29] getting the opportunity to see him you [13:31] know once a week once every two weeks or [13:34] sometimes once a month if they they [13:37] beefing with each other did did your [13:38] relationship with your father at that [13:40] point kind of become a bit straighted [13:41] when because of that beef did you start [13:43] to see him less and less and less yeah I [13:46] think my conflict with my father it [13:49] started to happen more and more because [13:52] um you know obviously um [13:59] the lack of a parent presence has an [14:01] effect in different ways [14:03] right and as a son I don't know what it [14:06] is but I just think [14:09] instinctually boys cling on to their [14:12] moms [14:13] more I don't know if that's always the [14:15] case but in most cases that's usually [14:18] what it is I think my father's [14:21] personality was a little conflicting for [14:25] me with the way my personality was and [14:29] the contrast of my father's [14:32] personality as opposed to my mother's [14:35] personality it it drew Conflict for me [14:38] too because my father he wasn't as [14:42] interested in the [ __ ] that I wanted to [14:44] do or that the [ __ ] that I was [14:46] interested in as a as a child like he [14:48] always was more serious [14:53] about whatever he felt was best for my [14:57] future was all that mattered it wasn't [15:00] about what I thought it was about what [15:02] he thought so I always started to feel [15:05] like in in having the comparison and [15:08] seeing the contrast between that and how [15:10] supportive my mother was for the [ __ ] [15:13] that I wanted to do like you [15:16] know first time I got some [ __ ] I could [15:19] come tell my mother I could sit down and [15:20] tell my mother about how that felt you [15:22] know what I'm saying I could sit and [15:23] tell my moms [15:26] about you know my first wet dream or [15:28] some [15:29] [ __ ] I could I could talk to my moms and [15:33] about the music that I'm making in the [15:34] studio with with my crew leaders of the [15:36] new school at the time and I could come [15:38] home and I could play that [ __ ] in the [15:39] house I could turn up the [ __ ] just as [15:41] long as I could do just as long as I did [15:43] what I was supposed to in the house my [15:45] mother was with all the other [ __ ] as [15:48] long as it was productive and it kept me [15:51] away from the trouble in the street that [15:53] was relieving for her my [15:57] father he tried to talk to him at the [15:59] time about some rap [ __ ] he's like I [16:01] don't want to hear that [ __ ] that [ __ ] [16:02] is a bunch of [16:03] [ __ ] and you wasting your time with [16:06] that [ __ ] that's how I used to talk you [16:09] know what I'm [16:10] saying now at that time I didn't respect [16:13] it and at that time I I I I felt way I [16:18] felt real [ __ ] up about that because [16:20] it was just [16:23] like I could be doing some real [ __ ] [16:26] like I'm I'm actually still one foot put [16:29] in because I'm not I'm I haven't [16:33] succeeded at this this [ __ ] don't make [16:34] me no money I do this [ __ ] cuz I love it [16:37] like I just love it so when I'm able to [16:39] do [ __ ] that I love with with my friends [16:42] that and with my people [16:45] that I'm entertained by doing it with [16:49] them it's because I have this thing with [16:52] a crew that there's a [16:56] collective enjoyment that we're getting [16:58] from from doing this music [ __ ] are you [17:00] still trying to prove him wrong to some [17:02] degree did you find yourself trying to [17:03] prove him wrong then nah because I got [17:06] my opportunity to do it but before that [17:08] moment before at that time yeah [17:10] absolutely I was trying to prove him [17:12] wrong I was so determined to prove him [17:14] wrong that it it it it forced me to [17:17] excel because the more that he wanted me [17:21] to do what he wanted me to do which was [17:24] my father was a licensed electrical [17:26] contractor okay okay so he used to force [17:30] me to come to work his way of keeping me [17:31] off the street was bringing me to work [17:33] with him because he had his [17:37] own company as a licensed electrical [17:40] contractor how' you feel about that I [17:42] was disgusted with that [ __ ] because we [17:44] working in these nasty [ __ ] buildings [17:46] with rats and roaches running around and [17:48] [ __ ] and it took childhood time for me [17:51] because I wasn't able to be outside and [17:52] play that's really what I wanted to do [17:54] and how old were you then 12 it started [17:56] a little younger than that but right [17:58] around 12 is when it got serious I would [18:01] say like around 10 years old was when it [18:04] started 12 is when it got serious [18:07] because my mother used to send us to [18:09] different countries every summer with my [18:12] father just so we could be able to [18:14] explore what it was like to live in [18:16] Jamaica for a summer with the family [18:19] same [ __ ] with England my mother would [18:21] send us to England so when I [18:25] was around there was one summer we came [18:28] out here you were 10 I was like 10 11 my [18:32] brother was younger than me he like [18:34] seven I'm staying in morham them time [18:37] and Preston and we went to karate school [18:41] here we went to Primary School here [18:45] and we was break dancing and I had these [18:48] cousins that used to named Samantha and [18:50] Michaela they used to take me in val [18:52] they used to take me to these little [18:55] clubs cuz they used to bring us to like [18:57] this little area where was like a uh I [19:00] wouldn't call it a downtown area but [19:02] there was a area Like a downtown area in [19:05] the morham area and in the Preston area [19:07] and in a Blackpool area and we would go [19:09] and we would break dance out there with [19:10] the young kids that was from England and [19:14] you know we had our style of doing [ __ ] [19:15] from New York and we we was we was [19:19] getting we was some dangerous little [19:20] [ __ ] now I me you know we was [19:22] getting busy we was making it happen we [19:25] you know we twisting up and popping and [19:27] all of this [ __ ] so [19:29] it was it was something where we just [19:31] became a part of this break dance [19:32] community and they was always looking [19:34] forward to seeing us we would go out [19:35] there like three four times a week other [19:37] people promoters they would see us they [19:39] started to book us to come in clubs [19:41] obviously we're too young to go in a [19:43] club so they would let us come perform [19:46] 10 minutes 15 minutes and then we would [19:48] have to leave immediately so we made a [19:51] little money that way get a little 10 [19:53] PBS here for a show a little 20 pounds [19:55] there for a show but this these are the [19:58] things that grew around so when I when I [20:00] was around all of [20:01] this and that started to slow [20:04] down dad was like okay y'all ain't going [20:07] nowhere this summer you're coming to [20:10] work do I want to go to work no do I [20:14] want to be an electrician no do I want [20:18] to be [ __ ] pulling BX cable through [20:20] sheetrock no do I want to be hammering [20:22] nails and then bang my finger no do I [20:25] want to see rats and [ __ ] roaches [20:29] crawling over my shoes and my timbering [20:31] boots and I don't want to do none of [20:33] that and I'm watching kids riding up and [20:35] down and pop a wheelieing on the bike [20:38] and music playing outside and I can't do [20:40] that [ __ ] I was I used to be super angry [20:42] at that [ __ ] every day with my father [20:44] what did you want to do instead I wanted [20:46] to rap I wanted to make music I wanted [20:48] to break dance I wanted to do all the [20:50] [ __ ] that [20:52] hip-hop consisted of like I I became the [20:55] embodiment of Hip Hop and it was the [20:58] thing that was my excuse to not go to [21:01] work why did you want to rap well number [21:06] one I wanted to be the DJ first okay you [21:10] know what I'm saying the DJ thing to me [21:15] though I never really got good at it to [21:18] be the DJ I was able to do it but I was [21:21] never nice enough to become the [21:23] Superstar DJ and at that time [21:30] the DJ was super important because all [21:33] of the groups had the DJ name so the [21:35] grandm Flash and the furious five Jam [21:39] Master J Run DMC like the DJ was always [21:43] the [21:45] solo it was like he was the big [21:48] shot so when I I couldn't I'm not really [21:51] the technology dude you know what I'm [21:53] saying so all of [21:55] this equipment [ __ ] like it was just a [21:57] little complic ated for me and [22:03] then I actually became a MC by [22:07] accident and the interesting part about [22:09] that [22:13] was I caught two charges selling crack [22:17] by the time I was [22:19] 12 and fortunately the laws was [22:23] different and I was a [22:25] minor so [22:28] I didn't see no serious trouble but I [22:32] was definitely on my way to getting into [22:35] some serious trouble if I didn't if my [22:38] mother didn't say all right enough of [22:40] this [ __ ] we got to get you out of [22:43] here that's when she took me from [22:45] Brooklyn and brought me to Long [22:48] Island when I got to Long Island that's [22:51] when I met [22:52] Brown C Brown from leaders of the new [22:54] school dink OD D from leaders of the new [22:57] school Milo is my mother's sister's son [23:00] so he's my first Blood [23:03] cousin but before we brought in Milo it [23:06] was and even before we brought in Dinko [23:08] was it was me Dinko and another dude [23:09] named mystery mystery was hustling in [23:12] the street too but when we went to Long [23:14] Island now a lot of other families was [23:17] thinking like my mother it brought their [23:20] kids from Brooklyn too to Long Island [23:22] from Queens to Long Island from the [23:25] Bronx to Long Island so we left the [23:27] neighborhood [23:29] which is the hood we was raised in we [23:30] left the hood to come to the suburbs and [23:33] still be around a bunch of kids from the [23:37] hood you know what I'm saying so the [23:40] same [ __ ] you was running from we found [23:42] a way to do the same [ __ ] in these nice [23:45] neighborhoods now and here we come as [23:48] the generation terrorizing these [23:50] beautiful [23:51] neighborhoods [23:53] and we [ __ ] these neighborhoods up [23:57] when you say you became an accident [23:58] Dental MC this is what happened I wasn't [24:02] rapping yet I was only break dancing I [24:04] was only [24:05] popping and I was DJing a little bit and [24:08] I was messing around with the [24:11] graffiti I wasn't rapping yet so when I [24:15] move to Long Island I meet Charlie Brown [24:20] I meet [24:21] mystery [24:22] [Music] [24:24] and what ends up happening [24:29] is in this junior high school now they [24:31] got like these lip sync contests they [24:33] got rap contests [24:35] and you know we now finally getting a [24:38] chance to experience what it's like to [24:39] have a be in school where you have [24:42] periods different periods in classes and [24:45] you in one class for 45 minutes to an [24:47] hour then the bell ringing and you [24:48] switch I got the hallway action [24:50] everybody talking [ __ ] go to the next [24:52] class flirt with a couple of chicks on [24:54] the way to the next class so all of that [24:57] interaction is starting out puberty [24:58] kicking in crazy you know 13 years old [25:02] 12 13 now you starting to get your [25:03] homeown just moving different [25:08] so obviously you going through the stage [25:11] in your life now where you want to [25:12] impress everybody you wna you want to be [25:14] the cool guy in [25:16] school [25:18] so whenever you came to Long Island [25:21] from the five [25:24] burrows it was a thing oh that's the New [25:28] Kid From Brooklyn oh that's the new kid [25:31] from Queens oh that's the new kid from [25:34] Bronx that's the new kid from Staten [25:35] Island so me being one of the new kids [25:38] from Brooklyn it created this [25:41] talk [25:46] and the rapping thing is happening [25:49] Charlie Brown was like the guy he was [25:53] like the the the number one rap dude in [25:56] school at the time [25:59] so one day I'm coming out of the [26:01] school and we get in the schoolyard and [26:03] you know some of the kids waiting on the [26:05] school buses some of the kids is waiting [26:06] to see you know the football game or the [26:09] basketball game after school there was [26:11] like a cipher that was formed in this [26:13] particular day and it was a big one [26:16] and it was C Brown rapping and two other [26:20] kids and then [26:21] uh see brown was getting most of the [26:26] shine I walked over with to the cipher [26:30] and I started [26:33] beatboxing right and [26:36] uh Brown he's he doing his rap [ __ ] to [26:39] my beatbox or whatever and you know I'm [26:41] keeping the beat going for [26:43] him and then [26:47] um everything was smooth in the [26:49] beginning like you know he was just [26:50] rhing everything was cool and you know [26:52] he's sounding [26:53] good and then like probably like a good [26:56] 30 40 seconds into it he just started [26:58] disrespecting me so I'm beatboxing for [27:01] him and he dissing me and I'm I'm I'm [27:04] kind of like torn [27:07] between should I punch this dude in his [27:09] face or should I just keep beatboxing [27:11] and not be the party pooper of the party [27:15] energy that we have in here and you how [27:17] old I was 12 I was I was 13 now and I'm [27:21] saying to [27:23] myself I'm from Brooklyn [27:28] and the mentality back then was [27:30] everybody from Long Island was [ __ ] you [27:33] know it's the suburbs it's the green [27:35] grass it's the flower beds it's it's the [27:39] the the the nice [27:40] houses we come from from from Concrete [27:43] Jungle we come from projects we come [27:45] from struggle [27:48] so I'm looking at this dude and I'm just [27:51] looking at him like I'm a [ __ ] you up [27:52] like in two seconds because you a [ __ ] [27:54] to me but you disrespecting me in front [27:56] of all these people and if don't do [27:58] something then they going to look at me [28:00] like I'm a [ __ ] too [28:02] so as I'm getting ready to do something [28:05] stupid the rhyme stopped like he was [28:09] done [28:12] and everybody was biging him up and you [28:15] know I ain't want to look like a sore [28:17] loser even though there was no battle he [28:19] just chose to diss me for no reason and [28:23] I couldn't understand it because I'm [28:24] like y I'm here to support you right now [28:25] I'm giving you the beat and the whole [28:26] [ __ ] the [ __ ] you doing [28:29] long story short that was the [28:33] day I said all right I'mma go [28:37] home and I'mma write a rhyme tonight and [28:41] I'mma come back tomorrow and I'mma [28:44] [ __ ] disrespect this youth in front [28:47] of everybody the same way he dished me [28:50] up in front of [28:51] everybody and the next day I came to [28:54] school I waited all day I ain't telling [28:57] nobody [ __ ] we got back in that same [29:01] yard nice big crowd the next [29:05] day he raming again I started beat [29:08] boxing for him again like like like it's [29:11] the exact thing happening like the day [29:14] before so we going and I'm doing what [29:16] I'm doing and everything is cool and [29:18] nobody ain't got no clue cuz I didn't [29:20] say [ __ ] to nobody about having RS [29:25] ready and the crazy [ __ ] is when I wrot [29:28] my [29:31] Rhymes I was listening to a bunch of LL [29:33] Cool J [ __ ] because at the time LL was [29:37] battling everybody on record you know [29:39] what I'm saying he battling Kumo D [29:41] battle IC te battle you know he was just [29:43] he was the one that was trying to take [29:46] everybody head off and I was like yo I [29:48] want to come like LL so I could tear [29:51] this boy head off so I ended up doing my [29:55] [ __ ] and somehow [29:58] it went from me beatboxing to [30:00] him and for him to me telling him yo why [30:03] don't you do a beat for [30:05] me and he was like oh you got RS ready [30:08] today like just do a beat let me just [30:09] try [30:11] something so he did the [30:13] beat and I started off the rme on some [30:16] calm [ __ ] and then when I started to get [30:19] into the disrespect lines that's when [30:21] the the whole thing just started to [30:23] happen on its own like [30:28] my frustration and then me seeing the [30:30] people reacting to my [30:32] [ __ ] the way that I wanted them to it [30:36] just made me more confident more cocky [30:38] more charismatic and that's when the [30:42] whole bust of [30:44] Rhymes thing started to happen and my [30:47] name wasn't even Buster rhes at the time [30:49] I had a [ __ ] up rap name at the [30:52] time what was [30:56] it yo my name was terrible yo my name at [31:00] the [31:01] time I had two I had my name from being [31:08] a part of the 5% nation of the Gods and [31:10] Earth which that name was cooler that [31:11] was Lord tahim right but somehow I [31:16] abandoned that to [31:20] become like the rappers that had [31:23] three-part names right is there a reason [31:26] you're not telling me I'm getting to do [31:28] it I'm just trying to help with I'm [31:30] setting it up with the proper [31:33] prerequisite [31:34] so LL Cool J is a three-part name yeah [31:39] Jam Master J is a three-part name all of [31:42] the guys from The Fat Boys Prince Mary D [31:46] cool rock ski them dudes had three- part [31:49] names [31:52] right I changed my name to chill o ski [31:57] [Laughter] [32:05] that name is so [ __ ] terrible I know [32:08] I'm sorry [32:09] bro name was terrible and you know [32:12] what's so crazy I kept that name for a [32:14] long time because I really thought it [32:16] was the [ __ ] cuz I felt like Chill O ski [32:19] Chill O ski bro terrible I know it's [32:23] terrible but I I I really was proud of [32:26] like I got a three-part name like my [32:30] favorites and if you want to be like [32:32] your favorites you got to do the [ __ ] [32:34] that is a [32:36] replication of your favorites and [32:39] then I destroyed Charlie Brown so [32:44] bad that at the end of that night the [32:47] end of that little battle [32:49] that afternoon after school he he just [32:53] came over to the side and was like [32:55] yo we should be in a group [32:58] together and that's really the day that [33:00] I guess Buster Rhymes I guess it's a [33:04] catalyst moment the day Buster was born [33:06] you talked about how that kind of moment [33:08] helped you develop your style and your [33:10] charisma and the way you carried [33:11] yourself and from then till when you get [33:13] signed at 17 years old I'm curious about [33:16] what happens in that moment because [33:18] that's really you [33:20] know a lot of people at 12 years old or [33:23] 10 years old or whatever want to be [33:25] hip-hop actors hip-hop stars or they [33:28] want to be whatever they want to be [33:29] musicians but very very few make it to [33:31] the top table what happens between the [33:34] playground that day and 17 years old you [33:37] getting signed when you look back and go [33:38] it was for that reason was it natural [33:41] Talent is it hard work is it all of the [33:43] above it it's all of the above but the [33:45] first thing for me was the [33:48] addiction to the [33:50] reaction that I was getting from the [33:52] people and I was seeing it and how it [33:54] felt in real time [33:58] and just just just looking at the fact [34:02] that I came up with [34:04] something in my crib by myself in my [34:10] bedroom that was fueled by a [34:14] determination of wanting to defend [34:16] myself like a [34:18] fight and a lot of the [34:23] times I don't think I might have said it [34:26] like this I've said it before but I [34:27] don't think I've said it a [34:29] lot I don't know if it would have been I [34:32] had the same desire to want to be in [34:35] hipop I had the same desire to want to [34:38] Ry DJ but I don't know if if that moment [34:42] didn't [34:43] happen I don't know if I would have [34:46] pursued being an [34:49] MC at that time it probably wouldn't [34:52] happen I've sat here with a lot of [34:54] people um who are Comedians and and [34:57] entertainers and actors and the biggest [34:59] movies in the world and it's so [35:02] interesting to me that there tends to be [35:04] an early Catalyst moment where they [35:06] perform maybe in front of the family at [35:07] Christmas or on stage or whatever it is [35:10] and they get this reaction and in that [35:12] moment that reaction does something to [35:14] them on a psychological level which [35:15] becomes as the word you used is the word [35:17] I hear becomes this addiction yeah and I [35:20] often wonder to myself because a lot of [35:22] other people will experience that [35:23] reaction and not develop the addiction [35:25] so the reaction it appears to is doing [35:28] something for those people that they [35:29] needed at that moment yes I needed it at [35:32] that moment I going to tell you [35:34] something it it actually happened before [35:37] that to want to be a MC happened in that [35:42] moment the addiction to entertaining [35:45] people that [ __ ] happened when I was [35:47] like seven eight years old maybe maybe [35:51] even six six years old because where it [35:55] started for me initially was you know at [35:58] the time and particularly like I was [36:00] saying how the neighborhood was back [36:02] then and how we was raising our house [36:03] back then my mother and my father you [36:07] know we had to go to bed at 9:00 on a [36:11] school night [36:13] and on the weekends when we was that [36:16] young we might be able to stay up until [36:18] about 10:00 but we still had to go to [36:19] bed by a certain [36:21] time when my mother had company or like [36:24] my father and they had like family and [36:26] friends or [36:28] you know they just had their little [36:29] grownup get [36:32] togethers and they get to drink in a [36:34] little bit sometimes you know they so [36:36] entertained by each other's company they [36:38] forget to send us to bed at 9 o00 they [36:41] playing music and [ __ ] and I used to [36:44] have to do things I would try to [36:47] creatively come up with ways to avoid [36:49] being sent to bed at 9 o'clock so when [36:53] they playing music the first thing that [36:56] I would always get into doing [36:59] is reenactments of Michael Jackson and [37:03] from The Jackson 5 and James Brown dance [37:07] routines so I used to do that [ __ ] and I [37:09] was nice with the [ __ ] split and [37:12] spinning around and [ __ ] and just [37:16] carrying [37:17] on I'm doing all type of [ __ ] and [37:21] I'm for hours until I literally would be [37:26] sweating through my clothes [37:28] but it was so entertaining that [37:32] sometimes the whole company that was [37:35] there for my family my mother and my [37:38] father they ended up cheering me on and [37:40] rooting me on to continue [37:43] and biging up my mom's about how much [37:46] talent her son has and was it not that [37:50] feeling then that you were chasing [37:51] that's what it was first that's what I [37:53] was saying like I I wasn't thinking [37:56] about being no rapper then but I I knew [37:59] what that feeling felt [38:01] like and I always wanted that [38:05] feeling and that feeling started in the [38:09] crib and then it translated into [38:13] me trying to get that attention in the [38:16] classrooms which turned me into a [38:18] jokester in the class so I would do [ __ ] [38:21] to get the attention of the crowd from [38:24] the class and became like this class [38:26] clown dude and I would get in trouble [38:28] and [ __ ] and then it translated from [38:32] That Into You Know Me break dancing and [38:35] doing all this hip-hop [ __ ] because I [38:39] loved hip-hop and I was starting to see [38:41] what what was being created as a [38:44] movement and what was being generated as [38:47] an interest that was taken over like it [38:50] didn't matter what else was cool at the [38:52] time when hip-hop started to really [38:53] become that [38:55] [ __ ] there was nothing more important [38:58] than knowing how to do something that [39:02] was a representation of hip-hop if you [39:04] was a graffiti artist and you was [39:05] [ __ ] [39:07] dope you became something that was like [39:11] on a celebrity status level but that's [39:14] when [ __ ] started putting [39:15] graffiti on clothes and everybody that [39:18] was involved with hip-hop or some kind [39:19] of representation of hip-hop became some [39:22] sort of celebrity so for me that's why I [39:25] wanted to learn how to do everything in [39:28] hip-hop because I still didn't know what [39:30] I wanted to do the DJ [ __ ] complicated [39:33] the break dancing [ __ ] I ain't like the [39:35] [ __ ] bruises I was getting all the [39:37] time you know what I'm saying [39:39] and the graffiti [ __ ] I was cool with it [39:42] but it was really when that situation [39:45] happened with me and C Brown that's now [39:48] when I found that I was able to get the [39:50] feeling of when I was this little boy [39:53] dancing for my parents and their [39:55] company and at the the same time I was [39:59] able to have that Spotlight on me being [40:01] the rapper guy so it's like all of this [40:04] [ __ ] became the thing that I started to [40:08] grow not only this appreciation for [40:13] it but I started to grow addicted to the [40:17] [ __ ] that is what I was expecting in [40:20] terms of like I was just trying to [40:21] figure out the psychological reason why [40:23] you became so addicted to this cuz [40:25] listen I come from a background where of [40:27] my friends started rapping and most of [40:29] them fell off and then there's like one [40:30] or two of them that just be it became [40:33] like their medication to some [ __ ] yeah [40:35] and I've always wondered why they just [40:37] like that individual just stuck at it [40:38] for all those years yeah but in that in [40:40] that answer we have the um I think the [40:43] biggest addiction for me out of all of [40:46] it was to be able to [40:49] say to my [40:53] father I wanted to be able to experience [40:56] the day [40:57] not knowing if it would ever come but it [41:01] was a serious serious thing like I used [41:03] to write the [ __ ] on my wall and just on [41:06] a piece of paper and I would stick it on [41:08] the [41:09] wall and it would say one [41:13] day I'm going [41:15] to get a deal I'm G sign a contract I'm [41:19] G come home with so much [ __ ] [41:22] money that I'm going be able to tell my [41:24] father I told you [41:26] so that's all I wanted to be able to do [41:29] and I wrote that [ __ ] and put it on the [41:31] wall and I would look at that [ __ ] every [41:34] day and and there would be days still [41:38] when he would tell me I got to come to [41:40] work and I would look at that [41:42] sign and then I would see him outside in [41:44] the [41:46] truck and I walk out that [ __ ] house [41:48] and I would be mad as [41:52] hell [41:54] angry [41:55] and what I do love about my father as I [41:58] got older is I [42:02] understood what he wanted he just wanted [42:04] to make [42:08] sure I wasn't wasting my time he built [42:12] this company he want to pass it down it [42:15] was love it's love it was he need his [42:20] son to [42:22] succeed I'm his pride and his joy and [42:27] failure is not an option with my father [42:30] and I guess where he came [42:31] from you know it's the same with my [42:34] mother my mother when I told her 18 I [42:35] wasn't going to University wouldn't [42:36] speak to me for years but she comes from [42:38] Nigeria she left school at 7 years old [42:40] she can't read or write today wow so I [42:42] was the only of her four kids I was the [42:43] only one that says I'm not going to [42:44] University right now she stood in my way [42:46] and said don't start a business etc etc [42:48] but in in my maturity I go she stood in [42:50] my way because she loved me absolutely [42:53] at the time and everyone goes a lot of [42:54] people go through especially sort of [42:55] immigrant immigrant kids [42:58] primarily yeah because that pain and [43:00] that struggle that suffering that they [43:02] come from that [ __ ] ain't no that's not [43:05] this [ __ ] that we was raised in that you [43:08] know me and you we obviously even if you [43:11] was born there you [43:12] wasn't you didn't spend your years there [43:15] to to experience the pain that they did [43:19] so you come here now you still don't [43:20] know they struggle they know though they [43:23] never going to forget and they obviously [43:25] want the best for their babies man [43:28] my father came to the Apollo to see us [43:32] and this what made him even more sure [43:33] about disrespecting me and disrespecting [43:36] the rap [ __ ] me and my my crew leaders [43:40] of the new school we had an opportunity [43:41] to perform at the Apollo at amateur [43:43] night at the Apollo and we get up there [43:46] and we got [43:47] booed badly booed one of the first times [43:52] you know when me and Charlie Brown [43:53] decided to form the group the guy [43:55] mystery that was with us originally [43:57] he got tired of the the weight there was [43:59] no real light at the end of the tunnel [44:00] if we was going to get an opportunity to [44:02] get a record deal he was selling drugs [44:05] in the street too he decided he wanted [44:06] to go back to the street and do that he [44:07] ain't want to be in a rap group no more [44:09] that's how room was made for Dinko to [44:11] get in the group cuz we still felt like [44:13] we needed to replace the third rapper we [44:16] got our Three rap dudes now it's me [44:17] Brown and Dinko and then I said yo we [44:19] need a DJ let me get my cousin so Milo [44:23] came and we ended up doing the show at [44:26] the Apollo [44:28] got booed and my father was even he was [44:30] hitting me with the I Told You So that [44:32] night see I tell you yo you waste your [44:35] time with this little idiot rapper boy [44:38] [ __ ] for come and work that's why I'm [44:40] going tell you for come to work so you [44:42] can learn some [44:44] stability and stop waste your time with [44:46] this rapper [ __ ] it's how you talking to [44:49] me we Still In the Venue really we ain't [44:51] even leave he just beating me in the [44:54] head with [44:55] this total dis [44:57] respect [45:00] but again at that time I I hated him for [45:04] it as we got older and I that day came [45:09] for me I got my my record deal when I [45:11] was 17 [45:14] and what was it about you though was it [45:17] was it this was it the unique style and [45:19] the you had a completely different flow [45:22] that people were just drawn to that [45:24] raised the energy on every record you [45:26] touched it definitely was that and that [45:29] came completely from dance hall [45:32] influence right [45:35] so are you familiar with like Sting yeah [45:38] all right so sting clashes that used to [45:41] happen from the 80s all the way down M [45:45] the one thing that I saw in dance hall [45:47] culture that I wasn't seeing in hip-hop [45:50] was the way when dance hall artists was [45:53] getting busy and clashing in front of [45:56] that 105 ,000,000 people in that sting [46:01] audience the energy that they had to [46:05] have to make sure that they're [46:07] portraying themselves in a [46:10] way that was just more than the lyrics [46:13] It Was a a complete Showmanship that was [46:18] a collective of things it was the outfit [46:21] it was the jumping around it was the [46:23] kicking the foot it was the flinging [46:25] your hand and the way you was coming [46:28] through on the microphone and the flow [46:29] patterns and the the cleverness of the [46:32] lyrics and the punch lines it was all of [46:33] these [46:34] things and it was mindblowing to me [46:37] because I wasn't seeing that same thing [46:40] in Hip Hop in hip-hop you seeing dudes [46:43] just walking around you know they might [46:45] hold their crutch and they act like they [46:48] too cool to be that [46:51] animated me I love that [ __ ] I love kung [46:55] fu movies I love karate movies so all of [46:57] that [47:00] [ __ ] and the dancing up and the this and [47:02] and that and the foot this that I just [47:04] took all of that [ __ ] and I said I'mma [47:07] turn this into what I'm GNA do on these [47:11] stages and I think [47:13] that if I master this [ __ ] and I could [47:17] Master my [47:19] breathing and I don't exhaust myself too [47:22] soon try to jump around all over the [47:24] [ __ ] stage going crazy I think I [47:27] might become a dangerous [ __ ] [47:29] that's hard to compete with [47:31] because dudes are not moving like this [47:34] on no stage I'm going to all of the [47:37] shows I'm being a student I'm in the [47:40] clubs I'm in the street I'm everywhere [47:43] just to [47:45] see and learn and and and pull [47:48] inspiration from somewhere and I pulled [47:51] a lot of inspiration from different [47:52] places but that was when I found it like [47:55] looking at those Clash sting clashes and [48:00] jammies and killer monjaro like all that [48:04] man from Saxon and all of that that was [48:06] out here Tipper I and all of them man [48:08] like them dudes rais me it's so [48:11] interesting because what you've [48:13] described there is kind of like my [48:15] understanding of what creativity is [48:16] where you you pull from so many [48:17] different almost clouds of inspiration [48:20] to create a new one yeah and I was [48:22] thinking about I was thinking about your [48:23] kids you you said to me before we start [48:24] recording you got six kids and they're [48:26] around like 20 30 years old now [48:28] right based on what you now understand [48:31] about what made you stand out different [48:34] the the what it took in terms of your [48:36] mentality to use the word student there [48:38] if one of those kids comes to you now [48:39] and says Dad what are the fundamentals [48:42] that I can take from your journey up [48:43] until that point at say 21 years old [48:46] that [48:47] would increase my chance of success no [48:49] matter the industry what are those [48:53] fundamentals [48:55] so the fundamentals that I would give my [48:58] kids which I've [48:59] already feel like I've been given to [49:02] them is the first thing is [49:06] identify with what you [49:08] love and once you love it hone in on [49:13] that thing until you can Master it to [49:16] the point [49:17] where people can identify that there's [49:21] no questioning your love for [49:24] it that's the first thing [49:27] once you love it to the point [49:31] where your actions speak louder than [49:35] anything you could say about how much [49:37] you love it that is always the root of [49:41] whatever success is pre-ordained or [49:44] destined to come to you no matter what [49:48] it is that you choose to [49:50] do [49:53] because what is actually going to create [49:56] the Reverend [49:58] is that you're not doing it from a place [50:00] of trying to generate the [50:04] revenue you're going to do this [ __ ] [50:07] regardless so it's not about the money [50:10] for you you're fulfilling [50:12] something in your soul in your body [50:16] there's a feeling that even the money [50:19] can't give you there's people that have [50:21] this money and they still can't find [50:24] that feeling man and there's nothing [50:27] like [50:28] it this is a feeling that really exists [50:32] bro that can actually make you the [50:36] happiest person in the [50:39] world that happens to be my [50:42] music [50:44] because and and my children understand [50:50] now I love my children so much and I [50:53] love my family so much [50:57] I'm not playing with anything that I [50:58] know is going to allow me the [51:01] opportunity to make sure that I can show [51:04] them and I can take care of them and I [51:08] can without compromise find a way and a [51:12] means to securing of the well-being of [51:16] my family and I found something that I [51:20] love that has provided me those means [51:23] and the ability to do it and I don't [51:26] have to question how I'm going to get to [51:29] that on no day I could be sick I could [51:35] be I could be sick and in the hospital [51:38] and write a [51:41] song and even if I'm too weak to say [51:44] it I could give it to [51:48] somebody and work out whatever business [51:50] I need to work out with that person so [51:52] they still do that same song God willing [51:55] the success of that song [51:57] that hopefully is garnished reaches a [52:01] level of success based on this creation [52:03] from a feeling that I was inspired by or [52:06] from a feeling that I got that I can't [52:09] explain and I can't give to nobody other [52:11] than through this [52:14] music that will take care of not just my [52:17] family but it actually might take care [52:19] of filling a space in the millions of [52:23] people's lives that will hear this [ __ ] [52:25] that at some Point depending on the [52:28] impact of the song they [ __ ] around and [52:30] see you 20 years from now and become the [52:33] [ __ ] CEO of Google and will tell you [52:36] I am a [52:37] fan I love you what this [ __ ] song [52:41] did to for me when I was 10 now I'm [52:45] 30 and at this moment when I was 10 I [52:49] remember wearing this little T-shirt [52:51] with a yellow [ __ ] balloon face on it [52:54] and I had my little bicycle out [52:57] died and my mother let me play with my [52:59] two friends two houses down we played [53:02] this [ __ ] song 10 times in a [53:05] row until we had to go [53:08] inside and that song changed my life and [53:11] it gave me the motivation to want to do [53:14] this thing evolve into this person think [53:17] a new way that allowed me to pursue [53:19] something that I found that I love and [53:21] now I'm a [ __ ] $200 million CEO in [53:25] Google I'm a fan of your [ __ ] you're [53:28] still doing what I love and I want to [53:30] sit down with you and figure out [53:31] something magical that we could do [53:33] together sounds addictive that's very [53:37] [ __ ] [53:38] addictive [ __ ] that that's the most [53:41] addictive [ __ ] in the world to me [53:43] because it's like that's that's greater [53:46] than man you can't teach somebody how to [53:48] do that that's not a book science that's [53:50] not [53:51] school you know what I'm saying that [53:53] [ __ ] is you identify with this [53:58] gift we all got the gift this something [54:02] that we've all been blessed with at some [54:05] point if we listen to that [ __ ] [54:07] little thing that speaks to us [54:10] inside some people call it Instinct some [54:13] people call it a Vibe some people call [54:16] it an energy whatever the [ __ ] you call [54:18] it some people call it a voice whatever [54:21] that thing is bro if it Sparks the [54:24] thought [54:26] that changes the whole [54:29] trajectory to what your life can evolve [54:33] into because you took a second to listen [54:35] to that [54:37] [ __ ] you are identifying with your [54:40] blessing you are identifying with your [54:42] gift and at that point you learn what [54:46] the [ __ ] it is and become one with it [54:49] and walk in your purpose bro so you [54:53] might instill this thing into the lives [54:56] of so many [54:57] people [54:59] that you live forever through this thing [55:02] that you've created that's not a man [55:05] thing no more that [ __ ] is deeper than [55:08] man I am absolutely addicted to that [55:12] because when you really think about it [55:16] that [ __ ] is something that's that's [55:18] Godly it's weird to me when people find [55:21] it strange when we call ourselves gods [55:24] and earth right because I'm [55:28] saying what do you want me to be you [55:30] want me to [55:32] be other than God anything other than [55:36] its original form is the worst state of [55:39] its own [55:40] existence because you're not even [55:42] functioning within the nature that you [55:44] was created to function in [55:46] so you can't make me call myself devil [55:50] likee because you think that it's a [55:52] Blasphemous act for me to say that I'm [55:54] Godly or I'm God like or I'm made in the [55:57] likeness of the most high that mentality [56:01] is why I function this [56:04] way because I refuse to think that there [56:07] is nothing that I can't [56:10] do Beyond [56:14] man beyond man if I could sit down here [56:18] and smoke a spliff and eat a bowl of [56:20] cereal and [ __ ] go y [56:27] when I step up in the place and when I [56:29] step your steps correct woa got you in [56:31] check and the whole [ __ ] planet is [56:35] doing it it don't matter what country I [56:37] go to and then I get to Sweden and they [56:38] telling me y y y yes yes yes yes yes I [56:41] ain't from Sweden I don't know that I [56:43] just was vibing and bugging out the weed [56:45] had me and filling [56:46] away nice little spliff little food [56:49] little bowl of cereal and I just was [56:50] joking in the crib and [56:53] Y [ __ ] was laughing in my house [56:55] I thought it was funny I did this [ __ ] [56:57] on the record I like funny but I also [57:00] like serious there's always a balance [57:02] between the guys that we found the most [57:04] entertainment from all of the dudes that [57:06] was on TV that we like that was the [57:08] [ __ ] criminals they was always funny [57:10] right alucino and Scarface he was a [57:13] serious [ __ ] but he was funny [57:16] Joe pesi and Good Fellas serious but [57:19] funny right we in the hood we love the [57:22] balance between serious and funny I try [57:25] to incorporate serious and funny and all [57:27] of my [57:28] [ __ ] bottom line is my children the [57:33] fundamentals I want to give you all find [57:36] it love it identify with what you love [57:39] become one with that thing pursue it to [57:42] the point where you become so engulfed [57:44] in it you don't know nothing else other [57:46] than that walk in your purpose is what [57:49] it evolves into what kind of human [57:50] beings do they need to be character [57:53] traits all right this is what it needs [57:55] to be [57:58] some of it might sound [ __ ] [58:01] up first thing is you got to be selfish [58:03] as [58:05] hell you gotta be [58:08] selfish I don't give a [ __ ] it's it's [58:10] it's it's the it's the sacrifice but [58:12] without great sacrifice and without [58:14] great risk does there is no such thing [58:16] as a great [58:17] [Music] [58:18] reward can't have one there that doesn't [58:22] there's no that math will never [58:24] math you know what I'm saying yeah you [58:27] have to have and I don't like this word [58:30] but I'm going to say it because it's [58:32] true you have to be a little maniacal [58:35] with the [ __ ] maniac right that word [58:38] isn't good in a lot of situations but [58:41] when you're pursuing your destiny when [58:44] you identify with your destiny you have [58:47] to be selfish you have to be maniacal [58:51] you have to be [58:54] uncompromising and [58:57] you have to move in a way when it comes [58:59] to those three things where you [59:03] function completely in a way where it's [59:06] an unwavering Faith like it don't matter [59:10] how [ __ ] up that [ __ ] might look it [59:12] don't matter how much it feel like it [59:14] ain't gonna work [59:16] delusional complete [59:18] delusion you got to believe the [59:22] delusion because it's only delusional [59:25] until it works [59:28] so is it really [59:30] delusional a [ __ ] only going to [59:33] call it delusion until it don't [59:35] work for nobody else to see but for the [59:39] whole world to see and then once the [59:42] world see it there's nothing delusional [59:44] about it now your delusion becomes oh he [59:48] was a [ __ ] [59:50] genius we didn't see it when he saw it [59:53] we didn't understand it when he did we [59:55] thought this mother [ __ ] was crazy but [59:58] he definitely always he always figured [60:01] this thing was the thing to do and he's [60:03] he stuck by that [ __ ] when you say [60:05] selfish obviously that word has got a [60:07] lot of different connotations and [60:08] meanings and but I heard from it that [60:11] the selfishness is focusing on serving [60:14] yourself and your dreams and your [60:17] mission like you were somewhat selfish [60:19] when you said I want to be a rapper even [60:22] though your father's saying I want you [60:23] to come and be an electrical contractor [60:26] that was selfish of you to say no I want [60:27] to take care of me [60:29] first that's selfish I'm meaning even [60:32] more extreme than [60:34] that [60:36] yes selfish to my father [60:40] because and in a way I don't want to I [60:43] don't want to look at it as what's [60:44] selfish to him I was just on some I [60:46] don't want to do what you want to do [60:48] that's not really being selfish that's [60:49] just having a difference in opinion [60:51] right selfish when I say selfish it [60:55] means my children [60:58] right I've had to miss moments that were [61:02] never going to get back I missed my [61:04] oldest son's High School [61:06] graduation I [61:09] missed one of my daughter's College [61:12] graduations I've [61:15] missed times when I should have been [61:19] there to [61:20] teach my child how to drive or I should [61:23] have been there to teach my child how to [61:25] ride out a [61:27] bike I missed a lot of that [61:31] right [61:33] and a lot of it had to do [61:38] with [61:39] circumstance and my circumstance which I [61:43] obviously contributed to creating for [61:45] myself I had to take responsibility for [61:49] these choices that I made and these [61:51] circumstances that I created for myself [61:54] and [61:56] the the situation that became a real [61:59] life situation for me left me very few [62:05] choices so there was a choice where I [62:08] could be there for everything and then [62:10] the money ain't where it need to be [62:13] or I'm going to do what I love not just [62:17] because I love it and it brings me joy [62:21] and it brings me peace of mind because I [62:25] would go to the [62:27] studio and when I'm in that studio and I [62:30] close the door and then I'm in those [62:33] four [62:35] walls I don't have to argue with a [62:37] child's [62:38] mother I don't have to argue with my [62:42] woman I don't get talk back from people [62:46] that choose to have a debate about [ __ ] [62:48] that ain't even worth debating about all [62:51] of the unnecessary [62:53] distractions I can leave outside of that [62:55] room room and when I'm in that room I am [63:00] fulfilling my [63:02] destiny I am [63:04] fulfilling my soul and I'm making myself [63:09] get to a place mentally where my peace [63:12] of mind is so where it needs to be that [63:16] not only am I allowed to become feel [63:20] think and evolve into whatever place my [63:24] mind takes me I'm then able to get to [63:27] that place emotionally spiritually [63:30] mentally create something put it in a [63:33] song change the effect that I can have [63:37] as an impact through this thing that I'm [63:40] blessed with as a gift and then I [63:43] could come down off of [63:46] that and be in a happier [63:49] place so that when I do get back around [63:51] the people that I got to argue [63:53] with I'm in a better place to deal with [63:55] done is there sort of guilt associated [63:59] with that as you've sort of matured and [64:01] and understood and you know had time to [64:04] reflect on missing those key moments I [64:06] worry about this a lot because I'm a [64:08] workaholic and I think my work is in [64:10] many respects some kind of psychological [64:12] Escape um and I I'm concerned that when [64:15] I do have a kid I've got a partner we've [64:17] been together four years I'm 31 now that [64:20] I might use my work as an excuse to not [64:25] be there or I might not make the adj [64:28] necessary adjustment to realize that I [64:29] only get one bike ride [64:31] moment so I'm going tell you [64:38] something there is no right way and no [64:41] wrong way when it comes to making that [64:43] decision other than what you know in [64:46] your [64:47] heart I definitely live with guilt I [64:50] feel like there was things that I could [64:54] have done with [64:56] out to be there for my [65:00] children but I also feel like that's me [65:03] saying that now [65:07] right I'm in a different place now in my [65:10] life than I was at that time and at that [65:14] time the mentality that I have now [65:17] didn't exist then right [65:20] and the mentality that needed to exist [65:24] then for me to get to this mentality now [65:27] was [65:28] important and it was a part of the [65:30] needed components to exist in my journey [65:34] for me to be able to have this [65:36] conversation now this mentality now was [65:38] that survival it definitely was [65:42] survival when you dealing with four [65:45] mothers all having you in court systems [65:48] all getting significant amount of money [65:50] for child [65:52] support all not in the best Place [65:56] relationship wise with [65:58] you sometimes business is up sometimes [66:01] business is [66:02] down you have to be able to be Swift and [66:06] changeable regardless of the [66:08] circumstances in order to stay [66:11] remain because no matter if business is [66:14] up or business is down the courts don't [66:18] care the child support that needs to [66:20] come every month the mothers need to see [66:22] it because they don't care [66:25] when your kids need what they [66:28] need they don't [66:30] care because they didn't ask for [66:33] this you can't create an [66:37] excuse that's how I was [66:39] raised your kid didn't ask to be put in [66:42] a situation that you cannot do what [66:45] you're supposed to do for them so that's [66:48] not their problem you have to find a [66:50] solution it's a little of pressure it's [66:52] a [66:53] lot it's a lot [66:57] but I also feel like when you identify [67:00] with your [67:01] gift that's part of the gift that's what [67:04] makes it the gift because the most high [67:06] usually don't give us more than we can [67:09] handle you know and with that being [67:12] said all of these things we talking [67:14] about which is one of the best questions [67:16] that I love that you asked right what [67:18] would I give my kids and I keep coming [67:21] back to that because I want my kids to [67:24] understand [67:27] that focus on what you love is most [67:29] primary being selfish and when I say [67:32] selfish not just my kids but even my [67:34] woman there might be a lot of [ __ ] she [67:36] want to do I'm [67:39] sorry I can't do it right [67:42] now I can't do it right now I could do [67:45] it later and then there's moments when [67:47] you can do it and you make the time and [67:50] you do it you know but until there's [67:54] another means [67:56] of me being able to do what I love and [67:59] find the Fulfillment that I find while [68:01] I'm doing what I [68:03] love this is also a part of who y'all [68:05] fell in love with I want to talk to you [68:08] about one of our sponsors LinkedIn Jobs [68:09] super quick because without LinkedIn [68:11] jobs the D of Co team simply wouldn't [68:13] exist how it is now I've probably hired [68:16] about 90% of our current team through [68:19] Linkedin and I wasn't just looking for [68:20] CVS as you've seen in my posts I've [68:22] never cared about CVS I was looking for 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for you guys moments in [70:00] our life I think help us to see things a [70:04] little bit more clearly and especially [70:07] when they're really um significant [70:09] moments and one of those moments that I [70:10] see in your story is in 2012 um where I [70:14] think you're 42 years old at the time [70:16] and your manager and friend Chris [70:20] dies rest in peace to [70:22] Chris Chris was all that I knew [70:27] everything everything that I I [70:30] learned after Chuck D and Hank shackling [70:33] them I learned it with Chris I learned [70:36] how to make my money with Chris my tax [70:38] brackets changeed with Chris my lawyers [70:41] Chang cuz Chris my booking agents [70:43] changed with Chris my touring [70:45] experiences changed with Chris my [70:47] ability to tell my mother to quit her [70:49] job and never had to look back to work [70:52] for nobody from 1995 to this day all of [70:56] that I did it with Chris that day when [70:59] you find out that Chris is pasted M can [71:02] you take me to that [71:04] day that day was so [ __ ] terrible [71:12] bro [71:16] wow his life changed when this woman [71:19] came into his [71:22] life I'm not going to dive too much into [71:24] that part [71:27] but I'm definitely going to say that [71:29] Chris's life changed not for the better [71:33] when she came [71:36] around [71:38] so once that happened it started to [71:42] change the energy amongst the Violator [71:46] family and I really wish because I don't [71:49] want this to be heard in a way where it [71:52] seemed like I'm [ __ ] on the woman [71:54] because I'm not [ __ ] on the woman [71:56] I'm acknowledging the reality of the [71:58] situation as you can see I'm not saying [72:01] nothing bad about the woman I'm just [72:04] talking about I'm I'm [72:06] acknowledging a time period where a [72:10] change transpired in a significant way [72:13] and it happened after this woman came [72:15] around that's [72:16] it long story [72:19] short I think his daughter was was [72:21] coming home from college and he he had [72:24] to go and [72:25] meet her at Grand Central Station in [72:33] Manhattan [72:36] so he asked me for a ride to Grand [72:39] Central [72:41] Station and [72:43] um I give him the lift to Grand Central [72:47] Station and that's the last day that I [72:49] saw [72:50] him the next [72:53] morning I get the call [72:57] from his [72:59] assistant that something happened to [73:03] him and I'm asking what happened to him [73:08] and they just said he hurt himself but [73:09] they didn't say you know that he was [73:12] dead it just was like he he hurt [73:17] himself the assistant called this young [73:20] lady I forget her name at the office and [73:23] when the young lady answered the phone [73:25] we're on the [73:29] three-way and she's crying and she's [73:32] screaming on the [73:35] phone [73:36] [Music] [73:37] and she just kept saying Chris Hur [73:40] herself Chris Hurt itself and the [73:42] assistant is asking her what exactly did [73:45] he do to [73:48] himself and she said she don't know he [73:51] just hurt [73:53] his and then we asked if he if he was [73:57] dead and then she she said she don't [74:02] know so when we got to Chris's [74:05] [Music] [74:08] home we couldn't go in the house and [74:13] uh it wasn't [74:19] until you saw the Corin van come [74:26] and when you saw the [74:28] van and then they reversed the van into [74:31] the [74:32] driveway to get us close to the [74:35] door of the [74:38] house CU it was a downstairs door and [74:41] then there was the regular door to go up [74:43] the stairs and you go in the house from [74:44] the front but whatever happened to him [74:48] it happened [74:50] downstairs cuz that's where his body was [74:55] and they went [74:56] inside and they um they brought them [74:59] black bags with them them body bags and [75:05] uh that's when it that's when it got [75:08] real that's when it changed everything [75:10] changed when you [75:12] saw you saw the [75:15] bags and [75:20] uh we knew um [75:27] when they came out the [75:32] uh when they came out the basement with [75:34] the bags and his body was in the [75:39] bags that's when you know Chris was [75:41] never coming [75:42] back so [75:45] uh you know the crying [75:48] started and a lot of arguing started [75:55] a threat [75:59] started and [76:02] uh my life was going in a whole another [76:05] Direction after [76:07] that and I didn't like [76:11] it cuz I was confused about how to [76:15] move and I was lost for a [76:19] minute because uh [76:25] I never really had to manage my career [76:27] without a [76:29] manager and he wasn't just a manager he [76:33] was my [76:35] brother so it got scary for a [76:38] minute I couldn't get it together that's [76:41] why I didn't put on no record for nine [76:46] years and [76:49] um I started to just do different type [76:53] of business with signing artist and [77:02] uh [77:04] um that's when we put out OT [77:08] Genesis and [77:10] um we had some really good success with [77:14] him and [77:17] um signed a few other artists you know [77:20] this one artist by the name of stove [77:23] stove God cooks and I signed [77:26] you know another young artist by the [77:28] name of murder Mo [77:30] and I [77:32] um I wasn't happy though with with just [77:35] doing it like that and I just I didn't [77:39] feel comfortable putting out music until [77:42] I got the right support system in place [77:45] and I I couldn't get it [77:47] together when you say you couldn't get [77:49] it together what does that what does [77:51] that mean that means like [77:53] psychologically you could couldn't get [77:55] it together psychologically I couldn't [77:57] get it together because I didn't feel [77:58] like I had a support system that I could [78:00] believe in enough to make me feel like I [78:04] am psychologically able to move with the [78:09] Comfort the confidence and the support [78:12] that I know I'm going to need and the [78:15] responsibility of trying to wear all of [78:17] the hats myself I was doing it but I [78:20] wasn't doing it at the level that Chris [78:22] Lighty was able to do it you agree g at [78:25] the same time absolutely because I lost [78:28] my father two years after [78:30] Chris the two most important male [78:33] figures in my [78:34] life Chris was gone 2012 I lost my [78:38] father [78:40] 2014 and you had reconciled with him [78:42] before I definitely reconciled with him [78:44] before he passed the problem [78:47] is I didn't get to enjoy my time with [78:50] him once we got good so that was a [78:53] horrible feeling too [78:55] because it's [78:57] like all of the time that was wasted [79:01] [ __ ] not getting along was was [79:06] stupid [ __ ] stupid you know what I'm [79:10] saying that's part of the reason why I [79:12] started to really like get unhealthy and [79:14] [ __ ] up I was trying everything to [79:17] drown the pain and the frustration and [79:20] the [79:20] suffering of those losses [79:25] about overworking over drinking over [79:28] smoking weed and [79:32] cigarettes and it got so bad that I got [79:35] to the weight of 340 lbs I never been [79:40] that I'm I'm not even built to be that [79:44] heavy it's it's funny it's like I look [79:46] back at certain pictures and I looked at [79:48] how overweight I was I look at my skin [79:50] yeah there's certain pictures I had I [79:52] had these like marks on my face [79:57] I I hate those pictures like I see the [80:00] darkness in those pictures yo there's [80:03] this book called The Body holds the [80:05] score but the title is just the thing [80:06] that I I I've I've actually gained the [80:08] most from it just says that when there's [80:10] things going on in our psychology and [80:12] our mind the body will show it yeah man [80:15] we'll eat we'll drink we won't sleep but [80:17] you'll see it in the body before you see [80:18] it in the mind the mind is invisible [80:20] obviously right the body is the first [80:22] place to see it and I was reading [80:23] through that phase of your life and you [80:24] were on sort of breathing machines when [80:26] you were sleeping and things like I [80:28] wasn't on a breathing machine I had [80:29] sleep apnea sleep apnea yeah yeah yeah I [80:31] had sleep apnea I was um you drank [80:33] yourself into a coma at one point I [80:36] drank myself into not a coma I drank [80:39] myself into an inability to wake myself [80:42] up oh okay I had to be W woken up by my [80:46] son in my security in La it took like 45 [80:48] minutes and we had just come back from [80:51] hanging out at a club called poppies he [80:54] sat me down the next day he was like [80:59] listen I don't want to hurt your [81:01] feelings cuz you're my [81:05] father and I don't even know if I got [81:07] the strength to say it to you now but I [81:08] had a conversation with the [81:11] security I need you to listen to them [81:14] because I'm too scared to tell you how I [81:17] feel that's how bad it [81:22] was my son ain't never speak to me like [81:24] that in my life but I needed to hear [81:28] it but he couldn't even say it to me [81:31] because that's how much he [81:33] still was trying to protect my [81:38] feelings but this is the first time that [81:40] I knew I really disappointed my [81:44] son all that Bust Around [ __ ] was cool [81:48] up until this [81:50] moment when he saw this [81:53] [ __ ] and he been seeing it but this is [81:56] when it hits the low that conversation [81:58] [ __ ] me up the next day the doctor [82:01] with the prednisone and I went to the [82:03] doctor I'm breathing so [ __ ] up that [82:06] outside of the door the doctor was like [82:09] yo why you breathing like that and he [82:12] wasn't even in the room with me he's [82:13] coming in the room and I said breathing [82:16] like what because I was doing it this so [82:18] for so long over the last three years [82:20] that I was it was starting to sound [82:22] normal to me the doctor said I'm sending [82:24] you to the hospital cuz he stuck this [82:25] [ __ ] in my throat and when he saw how [82:27] big the [ __ ] palps was it blocked 90% [82:29] of my breathing [82:30] passage he said if he sends me home and [82:34] I take a shower and the central air [82:37] system is blowing and I catch a draft [82:40] that can lead to me catching a cold and [82:42] that last 10% of my breathing gets [82:45] blocked up because of a swollen gr from [82:47] a sore throat or some [ __ ] I can die in [82:51] my sleep that [82:53] night he said I got to call an ambulance [82:56] for you I'm in California La he says I [83:00] need you to go right now to UCL Medical [83:03] Center into the emergency room and I'm [83:05] going to call the head person at the [83:07] hospital to have them admit you [83:09] immediately you need to go into surgery [83:14] tomorrow I said I ain't going in no [83:16] ambulance he said well then you have to [83:17] sign this document that will exemplify [83:19] me if you don't listen and something [83:22] happens and you die between now when you [83:24] get to the hospital I ain't never been [83:27] spoken to like this in my [83:29] life this is when I knew this [ __ ] was [83:32] crazy my son now I'm calling him telling [83:35] him to meet me at the hospital we get to [83:37] the hospital and I'm in the doctor's [83:39] office and they doing all little [83:41] preliminary [ __ ] before they got to [83:42] admit me into the [83:44] emergency my son is talking to me and he [83:47] tells [83:52] me I thought you was going to die last [83:58] night and I ain't never been this scared [84:01] that but I'm I'm scared you're gonna die [84:05] I lost Grandpa already I can't lose you [84:08] too can you please stop drinking can you [84:12] please stop smoking can you please get [84:15] back to the daddy that I know you to [84:19] be finished [84:22] me at that [84:26] point I made up my mind I'mma get this [84:30] surgery when I get this surgery I'm [84:32] going to get in shape I go home on the [84:35] way home Dexter [84:37] Jackson bodybuilder competitor who's to [84:40] compete in the Olympia he [84:44] became a Mr Olympia champ this man pops [84:48] up in my [84:49] stories driving in his car in [84:52] Jacksonville Florida and he spit [84:54] the vocals to put your hands when my [84:56] eyes could see and then I hit him in the [84:59] DM and I said Mr Jackson I'm a huge fan [85:03] of you as a professional [85:05] bodybuilder is there any way that we [85:08] could get on the phone I need your [85:11] help he hits me back he sends me his [85:13] number I call him on the [85:15] phone I [85:17] said thanks for calling me I salute you [85:20] Mr Jackson can we please figure out a [85:25] way to get me back in shape and man said [85:28] to me you saw you ready bus and I said [85:30] absolutely he said you got to come to [85:33] Jacksonville and you got to stay here [85:36] for 30 [85:37] days tell your girl she can't come tell [85:41] your kids you'll see them in 30 days I [85:44] need to put you through something for 30 [85:46] days before we continue this journey you [85:50] survived this 30 days I know you serious [85:55] I rented a [ __ ] Mansion for [85:57] like seven bedrooms I went and got a [85:59] cameraman to document it my meal prep [86:01] Chef M massuse cuz I knew that that [86:04] workout was going to [ __ ] me up every [86:06] day and I needed somebody to rub these [86:07] muscles up I got my recording engineer [86:10] so I didn't need to leave the house I [86:12] got an [86:14] assistant [86:16] and that was about it stayed in the [86:19] [ __ ] crib for 30 days lost about 27 [86:23] pounds in 30 days [86:25] days these [86:27] dudes that I'm surrounded [86:30] by by way of my first bodybuilding [86:33] competitor trainer Victor Munoz and my [86:37] second primary trainer the legendary Mr [86:40] Olympia himself Dexter Jackson I was [86:44] able to get my [ __ ] together [86:47] bro and once I got my health and once I [86:50] got my mind and I got my spirit right [86:56] and I started to be proud of me when I [86:58] looked at me and my kids was looking at [87:00] me and they would say [ __ ] that you [87:03] could only [87:05] hear once you did what you needed to do [87:08] and put in the work you needed to put in [87:10] so that it [87:13] shows they not g to say it if it don't [87:15] look like the way they need to see it so [87:17] they could say what they need to [87:20] say when that happened [87:24] you hearing the right [ __ ] you feeling [87:27] the right love that [ __ ] was lifting my [87:30] spirit so much and then I'mma tell you [87:39] something going through this pandemic [87:41] was another serious challenge mentally [87:44] and emotionally and [87:47] spiritually my brothers farel Williams [87:50] and swiss [87:52] beats and big up to Timberland to cuz [87:54] all four of them is the executive [87:55] producers of this new album Blockbuster [87:58] which is out right now absolutely the [88:00] Blockbuster album is out and I'm super [88:02] grateful to everybody that participated [88:04] in helping this magic happen and come [88:06] together this is this is the culmination [88:08] of all of the experience and all of the [88:10] life stories that we've talked about but [88:12] the thing that really stood out to me is [88:13] you've made the decision to put people [88:15] on this album who are young upand [88:18] cominging fresher artists who you [88:20] haven't really worked with previously [88:21] and you've worked with bloody everybody [88:23] everybody but you chose to give these [88:25] younger artists the platform for some [88:27] reason two [88:29] reasons the first reason is I'm never [88:33] gonna listen to The Narrative of this [88:36] thing [88:39] where I would hear [88:42] it a little more regularly than I [88:44] actually choose to hear it I actually [88:46] don't ever want to hear it but it's this [88:49] [ __ ] about how the Elder Statesmen [88:52] or the older MC's don't really respect [88:54] what the new guys is doing that [ __ ] is [88:57] [ __ ] at [89:00] least speaking from myself and the the [89:03] type of artist that I surround myself [89:05] with we don't feel like that and we [89:06] don't move like that we encourage that [89:09] [ __ ] because when we was young artists [89:12] we wanted the big dudes to put their [89:13] arms around us and give us game and [89:15] school us and teach us [ __ ] so we could [89:18] be better you know what I'm saying Chuck [89:20] D gave me my name Big Daddy Kane used to [89:22] let me come to his crib and ask [89:24] questions he put me on his albums he [89:26] used to help me learn let me learn bring [89:29] me the shows that he was performing at [89:32] [ __ ] um De La Soul they did the same [89:35] [ __ ] for us [89:36] like too many MC's gave us the guidance [89:41] that made me great I feel like it's only [89:43] right that we do the same [ __ ] for the [89:45] next generation of [ __ ] [89:46] especially if they dope and I'm a fan of [89:50] a lot of these new [89:51] artists and I want to work with them [89:53] because they still inspiring me to want [89:55] to go in the studio and stay razor blade [89:57] sharp with my [ __ ] when I got to do my [89:59] [ __ ] you know what I'm saying and I see [90:01] a lot of them paying homage there's a [90:03] lot of [ __ ] walking around with [90:05] their hairstyles like how I used to wear [90:07] with my dress there's a lot of [90:08] [ __ ] that dress and they throw [90:10] they heavy jewelry on that do it the way [90:11] I used to do it and still do it I just [90:14] ain't got the dredge No More but all [90:16] that other [ __ ] we still doing it but I [90:18] just want to make sure that they they [90:20] know we're not only here to give them [90:22] the answers and the mentorship ship and [90:24] the guidance and the information so they [90:26] could be that much more sharper when [90:28] they're being creative or when they're [90:29] sitting in the [ __ ] corporate office [90:31] negotiating a deal with the lawyers and [90:33] their managers but I also want them to [90:35] know [90:37] that we love them too with fans of what [90:41] they doing we see y'all paying homage [90:44] and we want y'all to know we paying [90:45] homage to y'all too one of the things I [90:47] always think is destined to own the [90:49] future is when the when both the past [90:52] and present come together and say that [90:54] with all due respect because sometimes [90:55] people see projects like this as you [90:58] passing the torch but what you're [91:00] actually doing is sharing the flame [91:01] sharing the [ __ ] flame you couldn't [91:03] have said it better cuz I ain't I ain't [91:06] putting flame out no time soon well [91:07] you're 33 years deep and it's still [91:10] you're still selling out the shows and [91:11] doing the Arenas and killing the game [91:13] and I I'm I'm so excited by this project [91:17] because for those reasons because you [91:19] have you have two sort of generations [91:21] coming together to create the future and [91:23] that's what so exciting and I have to [91:24] say from this conversation everything [91:26] you say and understanding the man that [91:29] buster is puts so much more meaning into [91:31] the lyrics into the album and the [91:32] records so everyone needs to go check [91:34] this album out right now wherever you [91:36] stream anything please go check it out [91:38] cuz it's one hell of a project and [91:40] you're you know you talked about that [91:41] Google CEO who you inspired when he was [91:45] 10 years old you were that person and [91:46] you still are that person for me thank [91:48] you King so it's such an honor to have [91:49] to to get to spend this time with you [91:51] today thank you likewise man [91:56] the questions you [91:57] asked the places you went I didn't [92:00] expect it I'm glad I wasn't prepped I'm [92:03] glad I wasn't prepped I'm glad you know [92:05] what I'm saying I just was given a [92:07] prerequisite of how important you mean [92:11] in this space in your platform and [92:13] congratulations to [92:16] the your evolution in your success with [92:18] what you've been able to create for [92:19] yourself thank you and becoming a [92:21] successful businessman I was driven in [92:23] inspired by the story that I was being [92:26] told about you and I was like oh no [ __ ] [92:28] that I got to come pull up and I'm [92:30] taking my time I appreciate because [92:32] we're gonna do this [ __ ] properly and [92:34] I've never done an interview in 33 years [92:37] never done an interview interview this [92:39] in depth number two I ain't never sat [92:42] with nobody this [ __ ] long and [92:43] did no interview in in Europe in my life [92:46] neither so you you got you hold a record [92:48] bro I appreciate you honestly it's the [92:50] it's one of the greatest honors of me [92:52] ever getting to do this is is here in [92:54] that from you so thank you so much P [92:55] thank you it's an honor and a pleasure [92:56] brother appreciate you [92:59] [Music] [93:19] King a quick word on hu as you know [93:21] they're a sponsor of this podcast and [93:23] I'm an investor in the company it is [93:24] finally here 3 years of work from here [93:27] to try and make a bar a snack bar that [93:29] is nutritionally complete as of the [93:31] recording of this episode they finally [93:33] released these bars that are high in [93:35] protein 27 vitamins and minerals and [93:39] just two Gams of sugar The Impossible [93:41] has been done and it tastes so godamn [93:44] good often these snack bars these like [93:45] high protein snack bars taste like [93:47] you're eating Play-Doh or cardboard or [93:49] something it's so hard to make one that [93:52] is nutritionally complete and that [93:54] tastes good and ladies and gentlemen [93:56] here we have it I'm going to put the [93:58] link in the description to get your bar [93:59] below try it out and tag me and let me [94:02] know exactly how you get on because it's [94:04] so nice to finally have a bar that is [94:05] nutritionally complete and that actually [94:07] doesn't taste like cardboard and that [94:09] tastes [94:10] delicious The Impossible has been [94:12] accomplished as you know because I've [94:14] been sent thousands of messages these [94:16] conversation cards sell out [94:17] exceptionally quick so here's the deal [94:19] I'm going to make with you if you join [94:20] the waiting list which is in the [94:22] description below you will get get sent [94:24] access to buy these conversation cards 1 [94:27] hour before anybody else they're in [94:30] limited Supply so if you really do want [94:32] to get your hands on them please do add [94:34] your name to the waiting list in the [94:35] description below and you can find that [94:37] waiting list at the conversation [94:39] cards.com but I'll also include it in [94:42] the description below wherever you're [94:43] listening to this episode