Joe Rogan Experience #2539 - Protect Our Parks 17

PowerfulJRE

AI-assisted summary of Joe Rogan Experience #2539 - Protect Our Parks 17 — original source. Check the original for full context.

Source published: 2026-09-13

Detailed notes

## Detailed walkthrough ### [00:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1s) IPAs, Guinness, and the Can-Tapping Trick

The guys open the podcast with drinks in hand as Shane Gillis settles in fresh off a flight. Mark Normand inquires about Shane's drink, which turns out to be a Voodoo Ranger IPA. Shane admits he had to tone down his IPA consumption because he gained 45 pounds in a single month by drinking them like Bud Light after comedy shows. Joe Rogan notes that IPAs taste great, but are heavy "milkshakes."

This sparks a quick debate over beer calorie content:

* **Guinness vs. Budweiser:** Contrary to popular belief about its thick texture, Guinness actually has fewer calories than regular Budweiser. Joe and Shane point out that Budweiser is far more fattening due to its heavy wheat content. * **The Trick to Un-fizzing Cans:** Mark taps the sides of his beer can before opening it to prevent it from exploding. Shane confirms the technique genuinely works, marveling at the fact that kids without phones managed to discover such life hacks long ago.

> "I used to be [into IPAs] and then I gained like 45 lbs in like a month... I'd get done with the show, I'd have 10 IPAs." — Shane Gillis

---

[02:16](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=136s) Nicotine Pouches and Normand's Bad Drug Trip

Joe notices Shane's nicotine pouch and questions his habit. Shane admits he is trying to quit after a rough night where he compulsively chewed 6 mg nicotine pouches—one after another in the green room, on the drive home, and while watching TV—leaving him awake and wired in bed past 7:00 AM.

Mark reveals he has never tried a nicotine pouch, prompting Joe and Shane to warn him that it will burn his mouth, trigger hiccups, and give him an intense head buzz. Despite the warnings, Mark pops a 6 mg ZYN into his mouth, immediately panicking as his legs tingle and his toes twitch. Shane laughs at Mark's habit of diving headfirst into things only to regret them instantly, bringing up the time Mark accidentally took Molly. Mark recounts taking a late-night Bolt/Chinatown bus from Philadelphia back to New York while rolling on Molly because he panicked and had to escape Big Jay Oakerson's non-stop talking.

* **Nicotine Pouch Strengths:** Pouches like ZYN commonly come in 3 mg or 6 mg, while brands like Lucy go up to 9 mg. * **Dosage vs. Reality:** Shane mentions reading that recommended daily limits are around 3–6 mg, contrasting it with his habit of popping them continuously during workouts and bow shooting.

---

[05:13](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=313s) Enes Kanter Freedom and the WNBA Controversy

The conversation pivots to sports as Mark brings up former NBA player Enes Kanter Freedom, who jokingly expressed interest in playing in the WNBA. Joe and Shane praise Kanter's trolling ability, recalling his past controversies, including calling out LeBron James over China's human rights record and criticizing Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan—which led to his family disowning him and him being barred from returning to Turkey.

The guys discuss how public figures calling out gender ideology in sports highlight the absurdity of allowing biological men to compete against women. Joe mentions a transgender female basketball player in France who physically dominates female opponents on the court, joking that ticket sales are probably up because it's the most anyone has discussed the league in weeks.

* **WNBA Financials & Intrigue:** The group notes that the WNBA spent years losing money, but recent rivalries, racial narratives, physical fouls, and high-profile players like Caitlin Clark and A'ja Wilson have brought unprecedented attention and endorsements to the league. * **Physicality in Basketball:** They compare current WNBA hard fouls to 1980s NBA basketball, bringing up physical players like Bill Laimbeer and Charles Oakley. Mark jokes that when the Detroit Pistons retired Laimbeer's jersey, ushers were instructed to cheap-shot fans on the way to their seats out of respect.

> "Imagine if the NBA had the same sexual dynamic... Imagine if most of the team was a bunch of gay dudes who were very aggressive..." — Joe Rogan

---

[10:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=646s) NBA Tunnel Fashion and "Cumcore"

The discussion turns to the unique cultural and sexual dynamics of professional sports leagues. Joe notes that while the WNBA features a prominent percentage of openly gay female athletes, the NBA lacks that dynamic, though player fashion has taken on a wild life of its own. Looking at photos of NBA players walking into arenas—wearing extravagantly stylized outfits, designer masks, and oversized hats—they liken the pre-game tunnel walk to a daily Met Gala.

Joe then detours into an obscure subculture he stumbled across on Instagram called "Cumcore"—a subgenre of hardcore punk made by and for gay men, featuring performers in leather harnesses, jockstraps, and motorcycle hats singing explicit lyrics. Shane jokes that if Joe were gay, he'd fit right into that hyper-aggressive leather scene rather than settling down quietly, though Joe insists he'd eventually get bored and settle down with a "twink."

---

[13:11](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=791s) Transgender Dynamics, Hormones, and Room Rules

The group riffs on the side effects of hormone treatments, noting that heavy testosterone use renders trans men infertile, while trans women don't have to deal with periods or PMS. Joe contemplates the hormonal fluctuations involved in weekly estrogen injections and how that impacts mood and physical balance.

Mid-discussion, Mark notices a trash can placed directly next to his seat and apologizes for always leaving empty beer cans lying around the studio. Joe laughs it off, telling him not to sweat it. Returning to the topic of gender ideology, Joe asserts that organizations and leagues have painted themselves into a corner by failing to provide a clear, biological definition of what a woman is.

[14:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=868s) Pushing Back on "Woke 1.0" and the Transgender Sports Debate

Joe Rogan and Shane Gillis discuss how cultural discourse has shifted away from extreme identity politics, noting that even prominent progressive figures like Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have acknowledged that early "woke" messaging—such as the "defund the police" movement—went too far. The group asserts that an overwhelming majority of people across the political spectrum agree that biological distinctions matter when it comes to athletic competition. Rogan argues that preserving women's sports requires a straightforward biological metric based on chromosomes ($XX$ vs. $XY$). He points out the double standard in public outrage, noting that nobody objects to a transgender man attempting to play in the NBA.

The conversation turns to rumors regarding WNBA players and historical athletic achievements. The group jokes about how record books and Hall of Fame designations would handle mid-career transitions, drawing parallels to Caitlyn Jenner's 1976 Olympic decathlon victory as Bruce Jenner. They reflect on how strict platform policies used to permanent-ban social media users for "deadnaming," with Normand lightheartedly remarking that getting banned from Twitter was probably a blessing in disguise for people's mental health.

- Rogan emphasizes using chromosomes ($XX$ for female, $XY$ for male) as the objective standard for athletic category eligibility. - The group highlights the asymmetry in public discourse: trans men competing in men's sports draws little pushback compared to trans women competing in women's divisions.

---

[17:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1035s) Online Misinformation and Twitter's Content Monetization

Reflecting on social media usage, the group contrasts the toxicity of Twitter with other vices, joking that being banned from Twitter is healthier than being addicted to it. They discuss Elon Musk's ownership of X (formerly Twitter) and the platform's evolution into a chaotic "wild west." Rogan explains new monetization rules designed to curb clickbait and financial exploitation: creators can only earn revenue on original and accurate content. Previously, foreign click-farm operations would generate entirely fabricated news stories—such as claiming Shane Gillis murdered five or six people in a bar—and harvest millions of views for easy ad revenue.

The conversation shifts to a viral online rumor claiming that Israeli tourists ignited massive forest fires in Patagonia and that the Argentine government was handing over thousands of hectares of burned land to foreign entities. Reading through live fact-checks and social media posts, the group highlights how fake news spreads seamlessly when paired with compelling narratives and persuasive social media layouts. Chilean and Argentine authorities officially rejected allegations blaming Mapuche communities or Israeli tourists, maintaining that while some fires were deliberately set, no specific group was responsible.

- X/Twitter implemented rules restricting monetization to verified, original, and accurate content to eliminate automated clickbait networks. - Official statements from Chubut, Argentina prosecutors confirmed that claims accusing Israeli visitors or Mapuche groups of starting Patagonia wildfires were legally unsubstantiated.

---

[24:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1468s) Attending the UFC Event on the White House Lawn

Shane Gillis and Mark Normand recall a recent trip to Washington, D.C., where they were invited inside the White House press briefing room while President Donald Trump was away attending a UFC event. The conversation moves to the unprecedented UFC fight card held directly on the White House lawn, featuring low-altitude military jet flyovers, stunt dirt bikes on the South Lawn, and a high-stakes main event where Justin Gaethje defeated Ilia Topuria. Rogan and Gillis marvel at the scale and absurdity of the spectacle, calling it a once-in-a-lifetime historical moment.

The comedians poke fun at media coverage surrounding the event and the hypocrisy of critics who claimed a cage fight "desecrated" the White House grounds. They recall past controversies on the South Lawn—including viral incidents during the Biden administration—to argue that political venues have always hosted unconventional events. They also briefly mention an intercepted security threat involving planned drone attacks near the venue, with Gillis joking that the rowdy fight crowd would have likely overrun any potential attacker.

- Justin Gaethje secured a dramatic victory over top pound-for-pound fighter Ilia Topuria on the White House lawn before celebrating with a backflip off the cage. - The event featured live motocross displays on the lawn and synchronized fighter jet flyovers over the National Mall.

{/* Reason: Providing clear, distinct follow-up directions based on the subjects discussed in the transcript (UFC events, social media monetization, and policy debates). */}

[28:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1721s) The UFC White House Lawn Event and Post-Fight Controversy

The group reflects on the sheer absurdity and spectacle of the recent UFC event held right on the White House lawn. Joe Rogan admits he was initially reluctant to support the idea, fearing the environmental variables—like potential rain or extreme heat—and worrying it would devolve into a chaotic circus for the fighters. However, after receiving a walkthrough video the day before with a pep talk urging him not to be soft, Rogan changed his mind. Standing alongside co-commentators Daniel Cormier and Jon Anik against the backdrop of the White House, he was blown away by the heavy security presence, which included rooftop snipers, UFC fighters in attendance, and around ten Medal of Honor recipients in the crowd.

The conversation turns to the viral post-fight interview where a fighter, immediately after defeating Derrick Lewis on the White House lawn, proclaimed that Michelle Obama is a man. Shane Gillis recalls being cornered by TMZ while walking out "20 beers deep" to give a reaction, noting that while it was crude, the joke was undeniably hilarious on paper. Rogan reveals that the same fighter makes that exact comment every single time he interviews him. Shane jokes about how bad it looked to the outside world, while Rogan points out the strategic genius behind the heel move: by causing an outrage, the fighter completely dominated the news cycle over other impressive knockouts, likely doubling his future earning potential and solidifying his heel status.

* Diego Lopez knocked out Steve Garcia on the same card, but the media focused almost exclusively on the post-fight political commentary. * The venue had extreme security measures, with snipers stationed on rooftops surrounding the lawn.

---

[31:26](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1886s) The Infamous Playboy Mansion Fight Night

Reflecting on surreal combat sports venues, Shane and Joe recall an earlier event hosted at the iconic Playboy Mansion. Joe remembers it being a promotion like Strikeforce or lower, noting how surprisingly dated, sad, and surreal the property felt in person. Rather than feeling glamorous, the mansion showed its age with details like an old push-button phone at the grotto and linoleum flooring with holes. Shane and Mark Normand recall going together, high on edibles, and being far more interested in exploring the mansion’s five-acre grounds—including a massive bird aviary—than pursuing women.

The guys discuss how Hugh Hefner lived long enough to avoid the wave of modern reckonings, passing away at the right time before his legacy was fully picked apart. They pull up details about the sale of the Playboy Mansion, noting it was originally listed for $200 million before being bought by Daren Metropoulos, an heir to the Hostess snack food fortune. They laugh over a famous, bizarre clause in the sale agreement: Hefner sold the property under the condition that he and his playmates were allowed to live there for the rest of his life, effectively forcing the buyer to roommate with an 89-year-old icon until his death.

* The Playboy Mansion sits on 5 acres in Holmby Hills/Brentwood, featuring 12 bedrooms and 21 bathrooms. * Rogan recalls the early era of buying medical marijuana in Englewood, California, before legalization, including an instance where a dispensary worker he knew was shot during a robbery because federal banking laws forced the shop to hold massive amounts of cash.

---

[37:21](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2241s) Larry Flynt, Hustler, and the Golden Era of Print Porn

The talk shifts to *Hustler* magazine founder Larry Flynt and his historic assassination attempt. Flynt was shot and paralyzed in 1978 by Joseph Paul Franklin, a white supremacist and serial killer who targeted Flynt because *Hustler* published pictures featuring interracial couples. Franklin, who murdered at least 16 people across ten states while financing his spree through bank robberies, was eventually executed in 2013. The guys recall the 1996 biographical movie *The People vs. Larry Flynt*, praising Courtney Love's performance and Norm Macdonald's supporting role.

They contrast the tone of classic adult magazines, noting how *Playboy* maintained a classy aesthetic showing only soft focus and "bush," whereas *Hustler* took an aggressive, explicit approach with glistening close-ups. Joe recalls how censorship rules during his youth prohibited showing erect penises in print, meaning any male models featured in adult magazines had to be completely flaccid.

* Joseph Paul Franklin shot Larry Flynt and his attorney Gene Reeves on a sidewalk near a courthouse in Georgia while Flynt was fighting an obscenity charge. * Franklin admitted to or was convicted of shooting 22 people between 1978 and 1980.

---

[39:36](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2376s) Wristwatches and Japanese Craftsmanship

Shane suffers a sudden wave of intense discomfort from a high-dose nicotine pouch, describing how his head feels like "Beautiful Mind numbers" spinning out of control. To distract himself, he shows off his new watch, having finally replaced a cheap, broken Timex he used to wear. Mark points out that Shane got his new Omega Speedmaster chronograph after appearing on watch expert Teddy Baldassarre's popular YouTube show in Cleveland, where guests receive a timepiece of their choice for participating.

Joe, who is also wearing an Omega Speedmaster given to him by his wife, validates Shane's choice, calling Omegas his favorite high-end watches alongside Grand Seikos and Seikos. Joe praises Japanese watchmaking for its precision automatic movements and indestructible durability, noting you can run them through the mud for years without them ever failing.

* The watch gifted to Shane is an Omega Speedmaster chronograph. * Japanese automatic movements from Seiko and Grand Seiko are praised for outlasting harsh physical wear without breaking down.

{/* Reason: The transcript covers UFC anecdotes, historical true crime/pop culture, and watch talk. These options offer logical deeper dives into those topics. */}

### [43:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2580s) Pornography Laws, Obscenity, and Free Speech The group breaks into a nostalgic and humorous discussion about how drastically society's rules around pornography have changed over the decades. Joe Rogan recounts a bizarre 1980s softcore film involving a male prostitute and a wealthy woman, marveling at how explicit the acts were while the actor's penis remained completely limp—looking like "a drowning victim they pulled out of a lake." This prompts a broader reflection on the arbitrary censorship of the era.

Mark Normand and Shane Gillis joke about the absurdity of early pornography restrictions, noting how an erection was treated as an aggressive threat coming off the screen, whereas a flaccid penis was seen as welcoming. Joe recalls how back in the day, people had to sit in dirty movie theaters in raincoats next to figures like Pee-wee Herman to watch adult films. Shane points out that despite the shift from VHS to the internet, conservative states are now enacting sweeping age-verification laws that restrict access once again, creating a modern "Mason-Dixon line" for web browsing.

* **Pee-wee Herman Incident:** Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) was arrested in 1991 at an adult movie theater in Sarasota, Florida. * **Obscenity Laws:** In the 1960s, comedians could be jailed simply for using profanity on stage under local obscenity statutes. * **Modern Access:** State-level age restrictions on internet pornography are driving renewed interest in VPN usage to bypass location blocks.

### [45:32](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2732s) Political Confusion, Accents, and Code-Switching The conversation shifts to political dynamics in Texas, where Joe warns that cracking down on popular freedoms like THC access could alienate young voters and turn the state blue. Shane Gillis cheekily pretends not to know basic American political terminology, asking "which one's blue?" and prompting Mark Normand to compare him to Alec Baldwin's wife, Hilaria Baldwin, who famously faked a Spanish accent for years.

``` "Alec Baldwin's wife was pretending she was Spanish. How do you pretend you don't know? She's from Boston!" — Mark Normand ```

This leads into a discussion about extreme code-switching. Shane brings up an interview featuring the son of director Mira Nair (who served as a music supervisor on *Queen of Katwe*), demonstrating how he adopted a Ugandan accent for press coverage despite having a completely standard American accent. The guys laugh at how seamlessly people shift dialects depending on their audience, while Joe complains about how difficult it can be to understand heavy English regional accents like those from Liverpool or Manchester.

### [48:35](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2915s) Paddy Pimblett and the Evolution of Grappling Joe Rogan shifts the focus to UFC star Paddy "The Baddy" Pimblett, praising his electric walkouts and unique fighting style. Joe breaks down Pimblett's high-stakes submission victory over King Green (formerly Bobby Green), calling it one of the cleanest and most impressive finishes in UFC history. On his walk to the octagon, Pimblett dances to "Where's Your Head At" by Basement Jaxx, bringing the entire arena to its feet before instantly switching to a stone-faced, lethal competitor inside the cage.

``` "The moment he gets in that cage, the switch gets flipped... It's like he just enjoys the party, and then he locks in." — Joe Rogan ```

Joe explains the technical brilliance of Pimblett's signature submission—dubbed the "Padlock" or "Pad Thai"—which combines elements of a D'Arce choke with a body triangle wrapping over the opponent's back: * **Arm Trap:** Paddy uses his right foot to hook the crook of his opponent's bicep, trapping the arm completely so it cannot break the choke grip. * **Leg Control:** He uses his left leg to press down on the opponent's back, generating immense leverage. * **Rolling Execution:** As the opponent attempts to roll out to escape, Paddy rolls right along with him to maintain top pressure until the opponent goes unconscious.

Shane and Mark marvel at the sheer physical squeeze required, while Joe notes how rare it is to see a brand-new submission variation executed at the highest level of MMA.

### [55:33](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3333s) Wild Grappling Names and Early UFC History The group jokes about the naming conventions of martial arts moves, noting that Paddy officially named his submission the "Pad Thai." This reminds Joe and Ari Shaffir of 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu founder Eddie Bravo, who is famous for inventing oddly named moves like "Crackhead Control" and the "Jew Claw." Joe recalls having to explain "Crackhead Control" live on a national Fox broadcast during a UFC fight, hoping the network wouldn't cut his microphone.

The discussion winds down with the guys asking about famous Jewish fighters in combat sports history. Joe brings up early UFC pioneer Moti Horenstein, an Israeli Krav Maga practitioner who fought heavyweight legend Don Frye in the early days of no-holds-barred fighting, alongside martial arts figures like Tiger Schulman who successfully transitioned from combat sports to building massive chains of MMA academies.

[58:16](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3496s) UFC Archives, Moti Horenstein, and Early Fight Nostalgia

Joe Rogan and the group review archival footage from the early days of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, pulling up a fight featuring Israeli martial artist Moti Horenstein. Rogan points out how Horenstein was primarily a traditional karate practitioner who found himself hopelessly outmatched by heavy-duty wrestlers. Reviewing his classic bout from UFC 14 against Mark Kerr—famously dubbed "The Smashing Machine"—the panel marvels at the massive physical disparity and the strategic nightmare of wearing a gi inside the Octagon. Rogan notes that wearing a gi gives wrestlers endless points of leverage to grab and control an opponent, adding that Kerr was notably loaded on extreme, Mexican-sourced steroids at the time, though he hardly needed them to dominate that specific fight.

``` UFC 14 HEAVYWEIGHT SHOWDOWN ┌───────────────────────────┐ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ MOTI HORENSTEIN │ │ MARK KERR │ │ "Karate Stylist" │ │ "The Smashing Machine" │ ├───────────────────────────┤ ├───────────────────────────┤ │ • Wore traditional Gi │ │ • Massive wrestling base │ │ • Vulnerable to takedowns │ │ • Peak physical leverage │ └─────────────┬─────────────┘ └─────────────┬─────────────┘ │ │ └────────► RESULT: ◄────────────┘ Kerr controls & dominates ```

The retro clip triggers personal reflections from Rogan about his early days working with the promotion. Reminiscing on moving to Los Angeles in 1994, Rogan highlights his two main local "meccas": The Comedy Store for stand-up and Benny "The Jet" Urquidez’s Jet Center in Van Nuys for martial arts.

- **UFC 14 Debut:** Mark Kerr defeated Moti Horenstein via ground-and-pound on July 27, 1997. - **The Gi Disadvantage:** Wearing a traditional gi in early MMA provided grapplers with instant grips, making escape nearly impossible against elite wrestlers. - **Early LA Landmarks (1994):** Joe Rogan's essential spots upon moving to California were The Comedy Store and Benny "The Jet" Urquidez's Jet Center in Van Nuys.

---

[01:00:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3600s) Working for Free, Dana White, and Celebrity Boxing Absurdity

Rogan reflects on how he originally ended up commentating for the UFC without a paycheck during its lean years. When the promotion was hemorrhaging money before the Zuffa boom, Dana White convinced Rogan to do commentary for a special Fox broadcast—a crossover event called *Best Damn Sports Show Period* (UFC 37.5). White appealed to Rogan's public profile as the host of *Fear Factor* to lend credibility to the broadcast. Rogan agreed to do one show as a favor, which unexpectedly snowballed into working roughly 15 events for free, though he jokes that they eventually gifted him a nice Rolex for his loyalty.

The conversation transitions into the bizarre era of televised celebrity boxing matches, pointing out how desperate or broke public figures were routinely pitted against each other for quick payouts. The guys laugh over famous matchups, including Tonya Harding boxing Doug Stanhope on *The Man Show*. Rogan recalls Stanhope casually smoking cigarettes and drinking beers between rounds in a tiny ring to keep the spectacle purely comedic. They also touch on the tragic side of the genre, pointing to the extreme physical mismatch between late pop star Aaron Carter and former NBA power forward Lamar Odom.

> "Dana was like, 'Just do me a solid... Fear Factor guy does it.' I'm like, 'Okay, I'll do one.' And I did one, and then next thing... he got me. I did like 15 of them for free."

- **UFC 37.5:** The June 2002 event broadcast on Fox's *Best Damn Sports Show Period*, featuring Tom Arnold and warm-up comic Brody Stevens. - **Stanhope vs. Harding:** Doug Stanhope deliberately held back against figure skater Tonya Harding on *The Man Show*, puffing cigarettes in his corner between rounds. - **Celebrity Mismatches:** Aaron Carter (6'0", ~100 lbs) was pitted against 6'10" former NBA star Lamar Odom in a 2021 exhibition match.

---

[01:04:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3874s) Skankfest Fights, Street Skirmishes, and Perez Hilton

The discussion turns to street altercations and comedy-world fights, starting with the notorious skirmishes involving *Legion of Skanks* and Jeremiah Watkins boxing Luis J. Gomez. The panel recalls how Gomez resorted to throwing actual body punches when he realized Watkins had legitimate boxing fundamentals, unable to handle the prospect of losing. Rogan and Shane Gillis also recount an incident outside the Creek & the Cave where Gomez squared up with an aggressive homeless man, only for the man to unexpectedly blast Gomez with two brutal, technique-perfect Muay Thai leg kicks, forcing Gomez to call an immediate truce.

They briefly touch on internet gossip personality Perez Hilton and the erratic behavior of public figures undergoing mental health crises on camera. Ari Shaffir jokes about the legal hazards of speaking about certain public figures, noting how aggressively litigious some internet personalities become when accused of faking breakdowns or self-inflicted injuries for attention.

- **Jeremiah Watkins vs. Luis J. Gomez:** A comedic boxing grudge match where Watkins' unexpected boxing background forced Gomez into throwing hard body shots. - **The Creek & the Cave Incident:** Luis J. Gomez attempted to fight a street heckler, who turned out to possess crisp Muay Thai leg kicks.

---

[01:06:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3994s) Ari Shaffir's Move to the UK and Joe Rogan's Free Apartment Offer

The dialogue pivots to Ari Shaffir's recent, highly frustrating relocation to the United Kingdom. Shaffir complains about the punishing bureaucratic hurdles of trying to rent an apartment as an American freelancer without a traditional UK employer or three years of local rental history. Despite having high-profile Netflix specials, Shaffir was rejected by seven different apartments and forced to get British comedian Francis Foster to act as his financial guarantor—only for landlords to still reject his American income. Shaffir notes that fellow comedian Jimmy Carr had to write his official visa reference letter.

Hearing how miserable Shaffir's living situation has been over his first two months in London, Joe Rogan repeatedly begs him to move back to Austin, Texas. To sweeten the deal, Rogan offers Shaffir a two-bedroom high-rise condo in a luxury guarded building—located on the 39th floor with sweeping city views—completely **rent-free for an entire year**. Mark Normand and Shane Gillis jump in to tease Shaffir for voluntarily suffering overseas, warning him that the UK's strict speech laws might land him in jail for his comedy anyway.

> "I'll give you an apartment for a year for free... It's a nice two-bedroom in a gated or guarded building... 39th floor. Great view."

[01:11:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4264s) Biting Remarks, Nicotine Haze, and Mispronouncing "Derby"

The group gets back to their usual banter after a chaotic moment, touching on wild internet rumors and teasing each other's comedic material. Joe Rogan jabs at Shane Gillis about spreading conspiracy theories like "Michelle Obama's a man on the White House lawn," while Shane and Mark Normand joke about having overlapping new bits about Muslim female drivers. Shane then starts expressing his affection for the UK, leading to an immediate, teasing argument with Joe and Mark, who insist Shane is just romanticizing life abroad and was secretly miserable and homesick when he lived over there.

The conversation quickly devolves into a hilarious, lighthearted debate over proper English terminology when Shane mentions attending the Manchester United derby. Mark and Joe accuse Shane of pronouncing it "Derby" (with an American "er" sound) rather than the British "Darby" (with an "ar" sound). Shane insists he said "Darby" and demands they replay the tape to check the audio. When Mark sarcastically offers to "be the bigger man" and apologize anyway, Joe calls him out, pointing out that backing down when you don't even know who is right isn't being noble—it's just being wrong. Amidst the chaos, Shane admits he is still recovering from a massive nicotine buzz that completely derailed his brain for an entire hour. He describes the intense, overwhelming rush, comparing it to taking twenty nicotine pouches in a single night while trying to sleep.

* **Soccer Derby:** Shane mentions December 5th for a Manchester United match, sparking the debate over saying "Derby" vs. "Darby". * **Nicotine Crash:** Shane reveals he was up all night buzzing from nicotine and listening to dark audiobooks.

[01:12:51](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4371s) Annie Jacobsen, Biological Warfare, and Spliced Euphoria

Shane pivots from his sleepless nicotine night to the disturbing audiobooks he listens to in bed, specifically author Annie Jacobsen’s work on nuclear and biological warfare. Joe, Ari Shaffir, and Shane discuss how horrifyingly fragile global society is and how easily engineered bioweapons could ruin humanity. Joe points out that while governments claim they are conducting "gain-of-function" research to protect the public from future natural viruses, they are actually designing pathogens to be far more transmissible and lethal using taxpayer money.

Joe and Shane bring up a chilling historical example of Soviet biological warfare research. Scientists allegedly spliced genes into a lethal strain of the bubonic plague so that infected individuals would experience intense euphoria during the first 24 hours. The sinister logic was that instead of self-isolating, an infected person would feel amazing, go out to bars, dance, and socialize with friends, rapidly spreading a 100% fatal disease before ever realizing they were sick.

* **Annie Jacobsen's Books:** The group mentions her works detailing apocalyptic nuclear war scenarios and bio-warfare risks. * **Euphoric Plague:** Discussion of a Soviet bioweapon experiment where a fatal pathogen was altered to trigger an ecstasy-like high for 24 hours to maximize human contact and transmission.

[01:14:33](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4473s) COVID-19 Vaccine Controversies and Anthony Fauci's Past

The conversation shifts directly to COVID-19 health policies and former NIAID Director Dr. Anthony Fauci. Joe brings up recent leaks and text messages allegedly showing that high-level officials were privately aware of potential cytokine storms and elevated miscarriage risks in pregnant women receiving the mRNA vaccines, yet continued to publicly promote universal vaccination for pregnant mothers. Joe shares his personal experience, noting he knows five different women who got vaccinated while pregnant during the pandemic and subsequently suffered miscarriages.

The panel vehemently criticizes Fauci's leadership, with Shane sarcastically joking that if he got a girl pregnant, he'd insist she get every brand of vaccine available. Joe argues that people who view Fauci as a public health hero simply do not know his controversial history during the 1980s HIV/AIDS epidemic. Joe describes how Fauci pushed AZT (azidothymidine)—a toxic chemotherapy drug that had been shelved because of its severe adverse effects—on AIDS patients, claiming it killed people faster than the disease itself. Joe also links this to false-positive rates during the pandemic, asserting that PCR testing was over-amplified beyond what inventor Kary Mullis originally intended.

* **Pregnancy Miscarriage Rates:** Joe references a controversial 2021 study context where early data claimed high miscarriage rates in the first trimester, contrasting public health messaging with private concerns. * **AZT in the 1980s:** Joe cites high-profile deaths like tennis star Arthur Ashe to argue that early HIV treatments under Fauci were aggressive and harmful. * **PCR Test Amplification:** Joe mentions Kary Mullis (inventor of the Polymerase Chain Reaction) to argue that high cycle thresholds create massive false-positive rates in viral testing.

[01:19:53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4793s) Pardons, the Autopen Controversy, and Political Backroom Deals

The guys pivot to politics, discussing recent legal maneuvers and presidential pardons. Mark and Joe talk about Donald Trump's statements regarding Joe Biden's use of an "autopen" (a mechanical device used to replicate a president's signature) to sign official documents and presidential pardons toward the end of his term. Joe explains the legal argument being floated that autopen signatures might be invalid, which could theoretically nullify sweeping pre-emptive pardons—such as a multi-year pardon granted to public officials like Dr. Fauci. However, Joe notes that Trump publicly stated on Truth Social that he respects the traditional immunity of presidential pardons, likely to avoid setting a precedent that could be turned against his own administration later.

The conversation wanders into how incoming political administrations handle their predecessors. Joe notes that politicians rarely prosecute their political opponents for systemic corruption or war crimes because they fear the exact same playbook will be used against them once power shifts. Shane and Joe highlight how widespread money and influence peddling are across both major political parties, bringing up cryptocurrency dealings, foreign investments, and high-profile figures visiting the White House.

* **Autopen Arguments:** Discussion around whether signatures produced mechanically by an autopen carry legal weight for presidential pardons. * **Pre-emptive Immunity:** Analysis of why political leaders avoid prosecuting past administrations due to fear of mutual destruction and precedent.

[01:23:11](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4991s) White House VIP Rooms and Interrogating J.D. Vance on Foreign Policy

The group turns to personal stories about political events, recalling when Shane and Mark visited the White House and attended high-profile events. Shane describes intentionally avoiding the exclusive VIP room and hiding outside in the rain because he knew photographers were capturing images, wanting to avoid political backlash. Meanwhile, Mark Normand and comedian Nate Bargatze went inside the "champagne room" without hesitation. Shane jokes about previously taking a famous photo with Donald Trump while wearing a Pablo Escobar shirt, long before setting any podcaster viewership records.

Joe then brings up his own high-stakes podcast interview with Vice President J.D. Vance. Joe recounts actively challenging Vance on American foreign policy in the Middle East, specifically asking whether Trump would have considered military action against Iran without heavy influence from Israel. Joe notes that Vance defended the administration's stance respectfully, as required by his office. However, Joe contrasts Vance's answer with foreign policy expert Scott Horton's anti-war analysis, which emphasizes how technologically difficult it is to turn enriched uranium into a functional nuclear weapon and argues that foreign pressure has long pushed the U.S. toward conflict with Iran.

* **VIP Room Anecdote:** Shane avoided photo ops at political events to escape internet outrage, while Mark Normand and Nate Bargatze chilled in the VIP area. * **J.D. Vance Interview:** Joe recalls pushing Vice President Vance on U.S.-Iran relations and Israeli influence on foreign policy. * **Scott Horton's Analysis:** Joe references anti-war researcher Scott Horton regarding the technical realities of nuclear enrichment versus foreign political pressure.

[01:25:18](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5118s) Foreign Policy, Sneaking Presidents, and Trump's Second Term Finances

The group opens with a debate on foreign policy, specifically past administration strategies regarding Iran's nuclear capabilities. Joe Rogan notes that foreign powers have long used cartoonish diagrams claiming Iran was nearing high-level enrichment to push the United States into action, but previous presidents held off. Shane Gillis and Rogan discuss how the U.S. intervened heavily in places like Libya and tried in Syria, yet the current geopolitical fallout with Iran leaves the country labeled as "the great Satan."

The conversation shifts to a wild rumor about how Donald Trump was once snuck out of a location using a catering cart while another plane flew out as a decoy. The group marvels at the logistics of putting reporters on Air Force One as a diversion, joking about how reporters sitting on the decoy plane would be eating cheese on toothpicks, unaware that the president had left, while secretly dreading him popping out of the back room to call them names. Shane reminisces on some of Trump's funniest moments, including his famous quote telling a reporter "Quiet, piggy," and a viral, albeit fake, rumor that Trump told Elon Musk to "go back to Africa."

``` - Donald Trump's federal financial disclosure reported over $1.4 billion in crypto-related income in 2025 (the first year of his second term). - The group debates whether celebrity or politician "meme coins" (like Trumpcoin or Hawk Tuah girl's coin) function as pump-and-dump schemes or covert ways to route anonymous money from foreign or high-value investors. - Rogan references Letitia James and the New York civil fraud lawsuit against Trump, arguing that the $18 million valuation placed on Mar-a-Lago was artificially low compared to its true market value in the hundreds of millions. ```

> "Quiet, piggy was one of the greatest fucking things the president's ever said."

---

[01:31:40](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5500s) Congressional Insider Trading and Wade Boggs Looking Jacked

The discussion turns toward political corruption and insider trading within the U.S. Senate. Joe references a conversation with comedian Joe DeRosa, who previously worked in government media relations in Texas, highlighting how politicians earning a modest base salary of $150,000 often accumulate massive wealth through deferred compensation, business deals, and loop-hole donations—comparing it to how sports teams like the Los Angeles Dodgers defer payroll to skirt salary caps.

Switching topics to sports and fitness, Mark Normand brings up Baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs. The guys react to a recent viral photo of a shirted, muscular Boggs out on a fishing boat. After beating cancer, the former Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees legend looks remarkably lean and built for his age, prompting comparisons to *The Expendables*, Chuck Norris, and Kumail Nanjiani's Marvel transformation.

``` - Wade Boggs, now in his late 60s, went viral for looking remarkably fit while fishing after beating cancer. - Shane jokes that modern progressives and out-of-shape dorks need to get on the "Kumail Nanjiani diet," take testosterone, and start doing deadlifts. - The guys discuss how physical fitness shouldn't hinder comedy, rejecting the old adage that comedians can't be "jacked" on stage. ```

---

[01:34:42](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5682s) Stand-Up Mechanics, International Hecklers, and the Pre-Smartphone Era

Joe and Mark recall walking into The Comedy Store and seeing a woman on stage in a short leather miniskirt and high heels, which leads to a comedic riff on whether exceptionally attractive people can be funny in stand-up comedy. Ari Shaffir chiming in with a crude joke about Judy Gold prompts laughter and mock calls to edit the audio out.

The conversation transitions to performing stand-up overseas. Shane, Mark, and Joe share experiences touring in Wales, Glasgow, Dublin, and Belfast, where local accents and heavy drinking make hecklers almost entirely unintelligible to American comics on stage. Joe reflects on getting drunk at a Scottish bar around 2007, where a local patron declared he would "fight any man," illustrating the raw, candid nature of bar culture before smartphones.

``` - Joe describes touring Belfast and Scotland, noting that American comedians often cannot understand a single word yelled out by local hecklers. - The group reminisces about pre-2007 nightlife before iPhones and social media existed, when people could go to bars and cut loose without fear of being filmed. ```

> "I'll fight any man, fucking chocolate, whoever it is! I'll fight any man!"

{/* Reason: Offers structured ways to dive deeper into the recurring themes of this Protect Our Parks episode. */}

[01:38:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5914s) Stepping Away from Social Media Doom-Scrolling

Shane Gillis explains how he recently reached his limit with social media algorithms pushing negativity and toxicity. Scrolling through feeds began to actively ruin his mood, to the point where even harmless content—like a beautiful picture of nature—came with comments complaining about privilege or accessibility. For the sake of his mental health, he made a conscious choice to stop looking at Reddit and Twitter altogether, realizing that immersing himself in online hostility offers zero real value.

Joe Rogan and Mark Normand agree that doom-scrolling creates an unhealthy mindset where angry users trap themselves in a feedback loop. On a lighter note, Shane mentions that his father recently discovered Instagram Reels. Instead of getting sucked into dark political debates, his dad uses it to share joyful, harmless content—such as AI-generated videos of dogs driving cars—while Shane sends him old-school sports clips, like Larry Bird highlights and 1990s NFL hits from John Lynch.

* Shane's dad recently started using Instagram Reels, constantly sending him funny AI-generated videos. * Shane bonds with his father by sending classic sports highlights, particularly 1990s NFL safety John Lynch delivering massive tackles. * The group notes that sharing memes and sports clips is one of the most effective ways for men to stay in touch without needing deep conversations.

---

[01:40:07](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6007s) Pitching a "Football Companion" Podcast

Watching John Lynch highlight clips sparks an idea for a sports commentary stream. The group briefly jokes about an unannounced podcast project before Joe suggests that Shane start a "Football Companion" in the vein of the *Joe Rogan Experience* Fight Companions. Rather than doing standard commentary, Shane could host live watch parties during NFL games alongside fellow comedian Matt McCusker and former professional athletes.

Joe offers his Austin studio for the Sunday watch parties, imagining a setup where Shane and his crew hang out, watch the 1:00 PM and 4:00 PM games, and drink throughout the day while broadcasting live. Shane loves the idea, noting how hilarious McCusker’s earnest, unsolicited sports takes would be, even though McCusker often roots for underperforming teams like the New York Jets.

* Joe pitches a live "Football Companion" stream, offering his Austin studio for Sunday NFL games. * Potential co-hosts discussed include Matt McCusker, as well as former NFL players like Taylor Lewan and Will Compton from *Bussin' With The Boys*. * Shane jokes about the endurance required to watch 14 straight hours of football on Sundays, corrupting non-drinking friends who tag along.

---

[01:43:08](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6188s) College Football Culture and Upcoming Events

The discussion shifts from the NFL to the intensity of college football. Shane admits that while he loves watching professional games, he gets far too emotionally invested in college sports to host a casual watch party, particularly when it comes to Notre Dame. Joe, Shane, and Mark talk about the legendary tailgating atmosphere at University of Texas at Austin (UT) home games, comparing the scale of Southern college football matchups to ancient Roman coliseums.

Jamie pulls up the upcoming football schedule, highlighting a massive September matchup between Texas and Ohio State. The group attempts to align their schedules around major sports events, comedy shows, and upcoming UFC cards in Los Angeles, discussing flight logistics and private jet travel across the country.

* Shane highlights the intense crowd atmosphere at LSU and Texas night games, comparing the stadium energy to a Roman coliseum. * The schedule shows a highly anticipated Texas vs. Ohio State game set for September 12th. * Joe mentions an upcoming UFC event in Los Angeles on September 19th, suggesting the comedians pull off a takeover weekend at the Comedy Store.

---

[01:44:20](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6260s) Kanye West's World Tour and Religious Headwear

The conversation veers toward music and concert travel as the group discusses attending upcoming Kanye West tour dates in Chicago and international venues like Kazakhstan and Jakarta. Shane jokes about wanting to perform stand-up comedy on top of a giant globe stage prop before Kanye takes the stage. The mention of global religious cultures prompts Shane to ask Ari Shaffir about Jewish traditions, specifically *tefillin* (the small black leather boxes containing Torah verses worn on the head and arm during morning prayers).

> "The bigger the box, the more scripture you got in there, the more pious you are."

Ari explains that the boxes contain sacred biblical passages like the *Shema*, while the rest of the table cracks jokes about what could possibly be hidden inside them. Joe attempts to find images of ancient Chinese statues that allegedly depicted figures wearing similar headgear, though Jamie's initial image searches yield bizarre results that spark laughter.

* Kanye West's upcoming concert dates include shows in Chicago (September 3rd and 4th), as well as international stops in Almaty (Kazakhstan) and Jakarta. * Ari Shaffir clarifies that traditional Jewish *tefillin* boxes worn on the forehead contain handwritten biblical scrolls containing scripture such as "Hear, O Israel." * The group jokes about what other religions would look like if they strapped holy texts directly to their faces with chin straps.

---

[01:48:08](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6488s) Papal Fashion and Podcasts in Costume

The humor shifts from Jewish religious gear to Catholic attire, focusing on the grand, ornate robes and oversized hats worn by the Pope and high-ranking bishops. Mark Normand remarks that no other profession in the world would allow a leader to dress in high-fashion robes and massive pointed tiaras without looking completely absurd. The group discusses Pope Francis, noting his decision to dial back some of the papacy's traditional luxuries—such as opting out of the traditional throne and bulletproof Popemobile—in favor of a more humble image.

Jamie displays photos of Pope Francis wearing a White Sox beanie during a special "Pope Night" event held by the Chicago White Sox. This leads Joe to recall the long history of bizarre costumes he and Duncan Trussell have worn during their special *JRE* Halloween episodes over the years, ranging from plague doctors and demons to full furry suits and green morphsuits.

* The Chicago White Sox hosted a "Pope Night" promotion where fans received replica papal headwear, culminating in a stadium-wide "peace be with you" handshake moment. * Joe and Duncan Trussell have a long-standing tradition of doing entire multi-hour podcasts in full costume, including plague doctor masks, Tesla robots, elves, and green-screen suits. * Joe recalls an episode filmed alongside Elon Musk while wearing an elaborate glowing-eyeball costume, as well as an instance where CNN quoted a serious political statement from a clip where Joe and Duncan were fully dressed as clowns.

[01:51:48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6708s) Halloween Parade Shenanigans and Furry Respect

Shane Gillis and Joe Rogan reminisce about a past Halloween spent at the New York City parade, where a group of around fifteen guys dressed up in identical Batman costumes. Every time they spotted someone dressed as the Joker, they would swarm him, chest-bump him, and shout quotes like "Where is she?" to pass the time. To sneak alcohol into the parade, they loaded airplane bottles into their utility belts and ended up tearing holes in the bottom of their one-piece suits just so they could pee on the street. Rogan notes how liberating it is to lose your individual identity behind a mask—a sensation he and Duncan Trussell realized gives them a new appreciation for the furry community.

- Joe Rogan, Shane Gillis, Sal Vulcano (or "S"), Chris Distefano, and Joe DeRosa were among the group running around NYC in Batman suits. - The group used the utility belts on their Batman costumes to stash airplane bottles of liquor.

---

[01:52:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6770s) Media Conspiracy Theories and Distorted Photos

The conversation shifts toward conspiracy theories, media spin, and skepticism over news reporting. Rogan highlights a specific example involving manipulated media coverage around high-profile news stories, pointing out how photo perspective and proportions are sometimes doctored. He describes an instance where a photo of an individual named Tyler Robinson was artificially slimmed down—proven by the distorted proportions of the car hoods in the background—to match a specific visual narrative before the original wide-framed photo came to light.

- Rogan emphasizes that news stories almost always carry a deliberate spin or narrative distortion. - A doctored photo was circulated where a much wider individual was digitally narrowed, leaving behind stretched and warped background objects.

---

[01:54:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6840s) Public Reactions to Erika Kirk and Internet Tropes

Mark Normand and Shane Gillis recall hearing about news events while traveling abroad in places like Guatemala. The group laughs over viral Internet commentary and parodies, particularly targeting public figures like Erika Kirk. They praise comedian Francis Ellis and creator "Truski" for their outrageous online sketches, pointing out how extreme and theatrical some public speeches and entrances have become—comparing Erika Kirk's grand entrances with sparklers and all-black outfits to professional wrestlers like Goldberg, Randy Orton, or The Undertaker.

- Erika Kirk’s dramatic stage entrances with sparklers and all-black tactical outfits were compared to WWE entrances by Undertaker and Randy Orton. - The group praises comedian Truski for his viral satirical videos, including his sketches in whiteface and his NASCAR videos.

---

[01:55:32](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6932s) Navy SEAL Debates and the Bin Laden Raid

Rogan brings up his deep dive into Navy SEAL history and the ongoing controversy within the Special Operations community over who actually killed Osama bin Laden. While former SEAL Rob O'Neill publicly claimed credit for taking the kill shot, Rogan explains that many insider accounts suggest O'Neill was part of the point team but likely fired into a body that was already dead. Shane jokes that if he were on a SEAL team, he would shoot the target too just so everyone could claim shared credit.

- Bin Laden’s identity and height (6'5") were reportedly verified by intelligence agencies analyzing shadow length measurements in satellite imagery. - Rogan mentions that intelligence agencies knew about Bin Laden's compound location long before making the strategic decision to execute the raid. - ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi died after fleeing into a dead-end tunnel and detonating a suicide vest.

---

[01:57:19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7039s) Political Distractions, Truth Social, and Market Speculation

The group transitions to current political antics and Donald Trump's social media presence. They poke fun at Trump’s frequent tweets declaring American dominance over strategic global locations like the Strait of Hormuz. The discussion turns to the financial monetization of social media access, specifically referencing news that Truth Social’s parent company offered an API subscription tier costing $100,000 per month. This service allegedly grants high-paying subscribers advance, low-latency access to market-moving posts before they go public, which the group mocks as a absurdly blatant form of legal insider trading.

> "You imagine you charge 1.2 million a year. He's just on a grab."

- Truth Social's parent company (Trump Media) announced a Truth API service charging up to $100,000 monthly for early access to platform posts. - The group jokes about the concept of "Gilliscoin" fluctuating in real-time based on erratic late-night posts.

---

[02:00:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7239s) The "Marshall Rogan Coin" UFC Octagon Scam

Rogan tells the story of how his golden retriever, Marshall, was unexpectedly turned into a cryptocurrency token called "Marshall Rogan Coin" without his knowledge or consent. During post-fight Octagon interviews in the UFC, winning fighters suddenly started shouting out "Marshall Rogan Coin" on live television. Rogan describes the bizarre position of holding a microphone in front of a victorious fighter who was plugging a coin featuring his own dog wearing glasses, completely unaware of what was happening until it unfolded live on air. The UFC eventually stepped in to ban fighters from promoting the token.

> "I found out in the octagon while I'm holding a microphone in front of a fighter's face after he won like 'Marshall Rogan Coin' and I was like, 'What the fuck are you just saying? My dog?'"

- "Marshall Rogan Coin" used an image of Joe Rogan's golden retriever as its logo. - The creators paid winning UFC fighters to shout out the coin during post-fight broadcasts, operating what appeared to be a crypto pump-and-dump scheme.

---

[02:03:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7384s) Dads on Instagram Reels and Dark Humor Exchanges

Shane Gillis shares funny anecdotes about his dad, Phil, becoming completely addicted to Instagram Reels. Whenever Shane's mother goes on vacation, Phil sits alone in a dark room late at night scrolling endlessly through animal videos—like raccoons driving cars—and sending them to Shane at 12:30 AM while drunk. Rogan offers to loop Phil into the group chat with Tom Segura, though Shane quickly declines, noting that Segura only sends horrifying and dark videos. This leads to a quick joke about Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) posting videos about freezing her eggs.

- Shane describes raccoons as potentially the "cutest animal of all time." - Shane jokes about sending brutal graphic pictures to Tom Segura as payback for the disturbing content Segura routinely sends him. - AOC made headlines for documenting her egg-freezing procedure on video.

---

[02:04:55](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7495s) South Korean Football and Terminology Banter

The segment ends with a lighthearted banter about sports terminology when someone brings up the South Korean national football team. Normand and Rogan call out the use of the word "football" versus "soccer," teasing each other over proper usage and pointing out that the term "soccer" actually originated in Britain as an abbreviation for "association football."

Here is a detailed, faithful walkthrough of this section of the podcast transcript.

---

[02:05:22](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7522s) South Korean Bribes, Demographics, and Work Ethic

The group kicks off discussing a wild story about a South Korean sports team allegedly spending thousands of dollars on "sexual services" for foreign referees to ensure favorable calls. Joe Rogan calls it "brilliant" and a total steal considering the massive amounts of money flowing through sports betting apps like DraftKings.

The conversation pivots to South Korean culture and its current societal challenges. While acknowledging that South Korea produces incredible pop culture—ranging from Taekwondo and Samsung phones to hit shows like *Squid Game*, Oscar-winning films like *Parasite*, and global K-pop phenomena—Joe points out that they are facing a severe demographic crisis. They are in one of the worst positions globally regarding replacement rates because people simply aren't reproducing. Shane Gillis quips that Korean women aren't interested in the men, but Joe clarifies that the root cause is an punishing, borderline insane work ethic that leaves zero time for family life.

Drawing from his childhood years doing Taekwondo, Joe shares a personal story illustrating the terrifying drive instilled by Korean parents: * He trained alongside a competitor who was on the U.S. National Taekwondo team, winning national championships and competing internationally, all while completing his medical school residency. * The athlete survived on approximately one hour of sleep per night. * His training regimen included putting all his heavy medical textbooks into a backpack and sprinting up and down university stadium stairs before heading straight back to the library to study. * Joe recalls that the guy looked perpetually exhausted—eyes barely open—yet remained completely "ferocious."

The group discusses the intense pressure of "tiger parents," noting there is no room to drop out or "find yourself" in that culture. They also briefly touch upon the prevalence of cosmetic surgeries, like double eyelid procedures, driven by westernized beauty standards.

---

[02:07:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7661s) K-Pop Stage Jumps and the Hardcore Band Turnstile

The topic shifts to South Korean entertainment icons, specifically PSY and his legendary performance style during the "Gangnam Style" era. Shane highlights a famous clip where PSY makes an explosive entrance, soaring high above the stage on a hydraulic lift in front of an ocean of fans. Joe notes how wild it was to check into Las Vegas hotels during UFC fight weekends and find thousands of fans packed in for K-pop acts that Western audiences hadn't even heard of yet.

Looking at the video footage of PSY performing with a full marching band while wearing an 80s-style fringed outfit, Mark Normand compares the massive, chaotic crowd energy to a Serbian basketball game. This triggers an extended, banter-filled tangent about music bands:

* **Turnstile Debate:** Mark and Jamie bring up the hardcore punk band Turnstile. Shane teases Mark for trying to sound cool by bringing them up, while Joe gets confused about what kind of band they are. * Jamie explains that Turnstile is an energetic hardcore band originally from Baltimore, Maryland, and pulls up a live video to show how real rock music and youth-driven band culture are making a comeback.

---

[02:10:12](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7812s) The USAID Rap Conspiracy, Mike Benz, and Fact-Checking

Joe remarks on the broader state of the music industry, noting how rap music has surprisingly fallen off the top of the charts recently. Mark jokes it's because Drake took a break, but Joe brings up a conspiracy theory he read online regarding government intelligence funding:

* **The USAID Claim:** Joe explains a theory—promoted by former State Department official Mike Benz—claiming that USAID (United States Agency for International Development) funded radical anti-government rappers overseas to orchestrate regime changes. The famous quote cited is that USAID was used for operations "too dirty for the CIA." * **The Fact-Check:** Jamie pulls up an article debunking the claim that USAID single-handedly funded global rap. Shane and Mark immediately poke fun at Joe, pointing out that when you get as famous as Joe Rogan, mainstream media outlets write entire articles designed specifically to debunk random thoughts you express out loud. * **The Banter:** Shane jokingly accuses Joe of getting his info from a "CIA disinformation agent." Joe offers to FaceTime Mike Benz right on the spot to clear his name, while the guys roast him about the CIA inventing science and conducting shady MKUltra acid experiments. * **The Nuance:** Joe pulls up articles showing that USAID *did* run a covert operation involving Cuban hip-hop artists in an attempt to trigger a grassroots democracy movement, demonstrating that while the broader narrative was exaggerated, there was a real historical kernel of truth.

---

[02:13:12](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7992s) 90s Hip-Hop, British Warm Beer, and the Billboard Charts

Joe confesses that as a 90s hip-hop purist who grew up on classic Nas, modern rap has largely lost him due to excessive Auto-Tune. The conversation quickly veers off course when Ari Shaffir starts complaining about his recent stay in the UK.

* **Warm Beer in the UK:** The guys tease Ari about turning "British" and drinking warm beer. Ari insists that local English pubs serve lukewarm, hand-pumped cask ales (mentioning brands like Timothy Taylor's) rather than freezing-cold draft beer, though Guinness is served cold. Mark and Joe debate whether Guinness actually tastes better in Ireland due to cleaner lines and local brewing freshness. * **Billboard Top 10 Review:** Looking over the current Billboard Top 200 songs, the group notes the massive dominance of country and folk-pop artists: * **Morgan Wallen:** Balling out of control with multiple entries in the Top 10. * **Noah Kahan:** His hit song "Stick Season" has sustained unbelievable longevity on the charts for years. Mark admits he took his girlfriend to a Noah Kahan concert for her birthday, lightheartedly confessing he had to take magic mushrooms just to get through the soft-folk performance. * **Other Artists Mentioned:** Michael Jackson's *Thriller* (making its annual climb), Ariana Grande, Olivia Rodrigo, Ella Langley, and Benson Boone.

---

[02:16:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8160s) Rick Springfield's Ageless Performance

Joe brings up an upcoming podcast guest that has left him completely blown away: 80s pop-rock icon Rick Springfield. Joe pulls up a viral, recent concert video of the "Jessie's Girl" singer performing live at age 74 (or 75):

* **The Video:** Springfield is performing completely shirtless on stage, wearing tight leather pants, showing off an insanely ripped, muscular physique. * **The Reaction:** The guys are stunned by his sheer energy, noting that he isn't just going through the motions or showing off a plastic "rubber face" like other older performers—he is genuinely rocking out with maximum enthusiasm. * **Age and Biohacking:** The video prompts a discussion on aging. Joe, who recently turned 57, points out that if you strictly take care of your health, you can operate at an elite physical level deep into your 70s. Shane and Joe mock hyper-strict vegans and biohackers like Bryan Johnson, who rely on extreme diets, piles of legumes, and young-blood transfusions, contrasting them with older rockstars who simply stay active and eat real meat.

The segment ends on a warm note as Ari expresses how grateful he is to be back hanging out with the guys after feeling isolated during his extended travels abroad, prompting Joe to playfully urge him to move back to the area permanently.

[02:19:51](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8391s) Pitching the Austin Lifestyle and Interventions for Ari

The group opens with a tease about Ari Shaffir's recent media appearances, including a quick nod to him appearing in an official Drake music video shot a couple of months back. However, the conversation rapidly transforms into a full-scale intervention regarding Ari’s living situation. Ari has recently secured a five-year visa and has been spending extensive time over in England. His friends, lead aggressively by Joe Rogan and Shane Gillis, pile on him for choosing to live in a place they claim "sucks," pointing out his rugged, disheveled appearance. Joe and Shane mock Ari for looking like a homeless man and joke about how his wife must secretly hate the conditions.

``` "Just having a visa doesn't mean you're in jail, bitch." ```

Despite the aggressive ribbing, Ari defends his time abroad, raving about the phenomenal Indian food he ate, the late-night culture around major soccer matches, and how the UK government even issued executive orders during the World Cup run to keep the pubs open until 5:00 a.m. Shane counters that the food stops serving early at 9:00 p.m. because everyone day-drinks starting at 6:00 a.m., but Ari maintains that getting pushed back by tough, unfamiliar UK comedy crowds has been great for sharpening his stand-up skills.

To lure Ari back to Texas, Joe offers a compromise: Joe will personally fly Ari out to Austin every two months for free, let him host or perform at the Comedy Mothership, and hand him the keys to a vacant condo owned by the club.

- **Drake Video Appearance:** Ari confirmed he filmed a cameo in an official Drake video about two months prior. - **Ari's Visa Details:** Ari secured a 5-year visa allowing him to live and work in the UK. - **Historical Comedy Precedents:** The guys recall how legendary comics like Bill Hicks, Denis Leary, and Patrice O'Neal did stints in the UK to refine their acts. - **Patrice O'Neal Joke:** Mark Normand chimed in with a dark joke stating "Patrice died of a Snickers," poking fun at his health issues.

---

[02:25:05](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8705s) International Misadventures and Parasite Problems

Ari tries to turn the tables on the room by making a grand declaration about his life choices, which Joe immediately shuts down with classic deadpan humor. When Ari attempts to deliver a preachy message about how England is superior, Joe mocks him, questioning how Ari feels entitled to lecture the audience of the number one podcast in the world. The banter shifts to global politics and Ari's travels, where Ari brings up how he regularly gets heckled or pushed on stage about the Middle East and "Free Palestine" movements when performing in Europe.

``` "How the fuck do you have something to say? I don't have anything to say. I'm the number one podcast in the world." ```

Ari shares a bizarre, hilarious story about getting kicked out of Nicaragua. Local authorities suspected he was an undercover press operative or intelligence agent after googling his name and discovering his ties to Joe Rogan's podcast. Beyond political troubles, Ari admits his physical health has taken a massive hit while traveling through South America and Europe. He reveals that he has been suffering from constant, non-stop diarrhea for five straight months after picking up a gut parasite in Brazil.

- **Nicaragua Deportation:** Authorities Googled Ari, saw his connections to Joe Rogan, suspected he was affiliated with western media/intelligence, and escorted him out. - **Brazil Parasite:** Ari contracted a severe intestinal parasite in Brazil, leaving him ill for five months. - **Schedule Commitment:** Joe pressures Ari to join him and the crew for a Kanye West event in Chicago set for September 4th.

---

[02:27:57](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8877s) Ivermectin, Parasites, and Carnivore Diet Struggles

Hearing about Ari's parasite issues, Joe immediately transitions into medical advice mode, pushing anti-parasitic treatments like Ivermectin. This leads to a funny recollection of early pandemic times. Ari recounts a story where he tried to get monoclonal antibodies and Ivermectin in Florida, only to realize the doctor was asking how he had obtained specific 6mg dosages—which turned out to originated directly from a massive stash Joe had imported in bulk from India. Joe admits he still has boxes of Indian Ivermectin sitting at home.

``` "I literally bought like a case of Ivermectin... You get a billion for two nickels, dude." ```

The conversation shifts from anti-parasitics to gut health remedies, leading Joe to preach the benefits of the all-meat carnivore diet for resetting the digestive system. Shane and Joe discuss their personal experiences going full carnivore. Shane recalls doing a month-long trial alongside his podcast co-host Matt McCusker, describing the initial weeks as absolute misery. Shane remembers feeling completely delirious, exhausted, and brain-fogged while waiting backstage before stand-up sets. Joe acknowledges that the first two weeks of keto-adaptation are rough on the body, but insists the energy benefits afterward are worth it.

- **Ivermectin Hoard:** Joe purchased large quantities of pharmaceutical Ivermectin from India during the pandemic and gave it out to comic friends. - **Carnivore Adaptation:** Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker attempted the carnivore diet for 30 days, experiencing severe fatigue and mental fog in the opening weeks. - **Diarrhea Remedies:** Joe offers to connect Ari with his personal physician in Austin to instantly clear up his 5-month parasite infection.

---

[02:30:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9010s) Austin Food scene and Mothership Perks

Shane explains that the main reason he can't stick to a strict carnivore diet is his Italian heritage—his inner "guinea" constantly craves pasta, pizza, and cheesesteaks. This sparks a passionate discussion about a local Austin food truck operated by guys from the Philadelphia/Jersey area who make authentic Philly cheesesteaks. The group searches for the name, eventually identifying it as **Chris and Boo's** (R&B's / Philly Cheese Steaks). Shane and Joe rave about how legitimate the sandwiches are, noting that the owners brought a case of hot cheesesteaks directly into the Comedy Mothership green room the previous night.

``` "When you're at that club, you feel like Oprah. You just like reach out and somebody puts whatever you want in your hand." ```

Joe uses the food delivery discussion to highlight another reason Ari needs to move back to Austin: the royalty treatment at the Comedy Mothership. Joe explains that comic performers at the club can request virtually any food or drink item from nearby local spots, and staff will fetch it within 20 minutes. Shane jokes that walking around the green room makes you feel like Oprah, with staff handing you whatever you desire, whether it's tea, custom drinks, or hot sliders. They contrast this luxury with the low-quality pizza shop located directly next door, which Shane claims is so notoriously bad he has seen local homeless people actively turn down free slices.

- **Featured Food Truck:** *Chris and Boo's* (Philly Cheese Steaks truck operating in Austin, run by East Coast natives). - **Comedy Mothership Hospitality:** Performers get free self-serve top-shelf drinks, custom cocktail preparation, and full-menu food delivery from local restaurants directly to the green room. - **Next Door Pizza Spot:** A local pizza joint adjacent to the club that the group universally pannes for serving terrible slices.

[02:32:57](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9177s) Hangout Spots and Food Around Austin's Comedy Clubs

The conversation opens with the group discussing the surroundings of Comedy Mothership and Austin's 6th Street. Joe Rogan notes that bringing high-level food options, like a proper pizza joint or Mexican restaurant near the club, revitalizes the entire neighborhood by drawing in people who are looking to spend money and have a good time. Mark Normand and Shane Gillis chime in about getting drunk on 6th Street and hitting up local food trucks around 4th and 5th Street near the creek, highlighting a top-notch burger spot in that area.

Ari Shaffir jokes about getting a parasite from street food, leading into a discussion on diet trends. The group banters about recent internet health fears regarding lettuce and parasites, with Joe jokingly reiterating that people should only eat meat. Mark compares his overeating habits with pizza to Shane’s capacity for drinking beer, recalling a trip to Italy where he consumed so much food that he felt like he was going to die.

* **Austin Eats:** Food trucks near the creek between 4th, 5th, and 6th Streets are highlighted as prime spots after drinking, including a specific burger spot and local taco places. * **Gluttony:** Mark compares his ability to consume insane amounts of pizza to Shane Gillis's beer consumption capacity.

---

[02:34:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9281s) James Gandolfini's Infamous Final Meal

The discussion turns to legendary food binges, bringing up *The Sopranos* star James Gandolfini and his final meal before passing away. Shane and Mark recall reading about the infamous receipt from Gandolfini's final dinner, which went viral online. While the meal involved heavy drinking and a massive spread of food, including lobster claws and 17 oysters, Shane points out that Gandolfini was truly living life to the fullest, even if it ended tragically early.

``` "That guy did it... Everything you want in life." — Shane Gillis on James Gandolfini's final meal ```

---

[02:35:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9356s) Joe Rogan’s Early Days: $150k and the "Lobster Addiction"

Joe Rogan shares a story from early in his career when he landed his first development deal around age 25 for the show *Hardball*. Having grown up poor, suddenly coming into $150,000 felt like an infinite amount of money. Joe started taking his friends out to high-end dinners every single night, ordering steak and lobster for everyone. His business manager eventually pulled him aside for an intervention, suspecting Joe had developed a massive gambling problem because he was blowing through money at an alarming rate.

Joe had to explain that he wasn't gambling away thousands playing pool—he was simply eating lobster every single day and living like a total baller. Joe admits he was a "dumbass" with a huge sum of money, driven by the mindset that if his TV fame vanished tomorrow, he wanted to have made the absolute most of it rather than rationing it out over fifteen years.

* **Age/Payout:** Joe was 25 years old when he landed $150,000 from his first major TV deal. * **The Intermediary:** Joe's business manager (Sussman) assumed Joe was gambling it away playing pool late at night, unaware it was all being spent on steak and lobster feasts for his crew. * **Tim Dillon Comparison:** Shane compares Joe's early spending habits to comedian Tim Dillon's current penchant for private jets and luxury dining.

---

[02:37:27](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9447s) Uncomfortable Encounters in Comedy and Travel

The guys transition into discussing aggressive or unwanted sexual encounters early in their careers. Joe recounts being aggressively pursued by a male comedian late at night at the Montreal Comedy Festival back in the 1990s. Joe had to forcefully tell the man he was going to "stomp a hole in his chest" if he touched him again. Joe reflects on how unsettling that level of physical aggression felt, giving him a small window of perspective into what women deal with regularly.

Mark Normand shares two brief stories of his own: being grabbed inappropriately by a stranger on a bus while traveling in Vietnam, and a bizarre high school memory on a party bus where a guy playfully gave him a "stroke" while Mark was getting intimate with a girl.

* **Montreal Comedy Festival:** Joe was repeatedly touched and hit on by an overly aggressive, drunk comedian at 2:00 AM until Joe threatened physical violence. * **Vietnam Travel:** Mark was groped over his pants while sitting on the back of a bus in Vietnam.

---

[02:40:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9638s) Getting Robbed by Comedy Club Owners

Mark Normand recounts a classic early-career horror story from his first headlining gigs at the Funny Farm in Youngstown, Ohio. Attached to a nightclub and hotel, the venue made performing almost impossible due to blaring music bleeding through the walls. After performing to an audience of three people, the club owner enthusiastically suggested Mark order the swordfish and a bottle of fine wine, claiming it was amazing. Mark ate a massive meal, drank a bottle and a half of wine, and assumed it was comped as the headliner.

At the end of the weekend, the owner handed Mark a bill for $380 against his $400 pay check, effectively charging him full price without any discount and tricking him out of his weekend pay. Shane and Joe connect this to the long history of scummy, predatory comedy club owners who take advantage of young comics.

---

[02:43:23](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9803s) Mob-Run Clubs and the Shoe Beating in Connecticut

Joe Rogan shares his own wild story about working for a mobbed-up club owner at the former Joker's Wild in New Haven, Connecticut. After completing a gig, the owner paid Joe significantly less than the agreed-upon amount. When Joe confronted him, the owner chillingly told him, "You should be kind of happy with what you're getting," prompting Joe to take the cash and walk away forever.

Joe describes New Haven as a wild town known for incredible pizza (like Pepe's and Sally's) but filled with intense characters. He vividly recalls watching the same mobbed-up club owner take off his dress shoe—with a hard wooden heel—and beat an unruly, drunk heckler across the nose in the middle of the venue until blood splattered all over the owner's white shirt.

``` "He just slipped that thing right off of his foot and used it as a weapon... blood was everywhere, spraying all over his shirt." — Joe Rogan ```

* **Club Mentioned:** Joker's Wild in New Haven, Connecticut. * **Weapon of Choice:** A dress shoe with a solid wooden heel used to beat a heckler across the face. * **The Gun on the Table:** The group references a famous Dave Chappelle/Joe List trope where mobbed-up club owners would settle pay disputes simply by placing a handgun on the desk during negotiations.

[02:46:25](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9985s) Bad Comedy Clubs, Rowdy Audiences, and Green Room Drama

The group kicks off this section reminiscing about their early days starting out in stand-up comedy, focusing on terrible venues with zero crowd control. Mark Normand and Joe Rogan talk about making bottom-dollar pay—getting paid just $300 to perform for wild, unmanageable crowds. They recall a particular Chinese restaurant gig in Western Massachusetts (distinguished from the famous Kowloon in Saugus) where audience members would casually walk up onto the stage while a comedian was mid-set to take selfies, or wrap up leftover food without giving the performer an ounce of attention. Meanwhile, the guys tease each other about their drinking and energy levels on the podcast, with Shane Gillis admitting a heavy hit of nicotine knocked him down for a minute.

Ari Shaffir tells a story about being in a club manager's office back when he was starting out, alongside a physically imposing comic named Brian (who was blonde, jacked, and did not look stereotypically Jewish). When the club owner casually used the antisemitic phrase "jew you down" while negotiating pay, Brian flew into a rage, screaming at the owner for being antisemitic. Ari remembers standing there awkwardly, wanting his friend to stay calm so they could actually collect their paychecks, noting how people often threw around offensive idioms without realizing their origins. They discuss how casual slurs and ethnic tropes—like calling someone a "guinea" for wearing a tank top and gold chains—were widely tossed around, even though Italian, Irish, and Polish immigrants faced severe real-world prejudice and violence upon arriving in America.

* **Casual Slurs & Origins:** The group notes how expressions like "jew you down" or "gypped" persist as root idioms despite their offensive ethnic origins. * **Anti-Italian Racism:** Rogan mentions his Italian immigrant grandfather sharing horror stories about the anti-Italian discrimination and beatings he faced growing up in New Jersey.

---

[02:50:36](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10236s) Civil War Obsessions and General Ulysses S. Grant

Shane Gillis reveals that ever since becoming a father, he has developed an intense, almost obsessive interest in history, specifically binge-watching presidential documentaries on Netflix. His absolute favorite figure is Ulysses S. Grant. Shane and the rest of the table break down Grant's incredible, movie-like life trajectory: graduating from West Point, serving in the Mexican-American War under Robert E. Lee, and getting forced out of the military due to his struggles with alcoholism ("the demon rum").

``` West Point Graduate ➔ Mexican-American War ➔ Discharged for Alcoholism ➔ Store Clerk ➔ Union Commander ➔ U.S. President ```

They emphasize how Grant hit absolute rock bottom before his historic rise. Despite being completely broke, Grant freed an enslaved man given to him by his father-in-law rather than selling him for $2,000 (a massive fortune at the time, equivalent to buying a home). When the Civil War broke out four years later, Grant was working as an obscure clerk at his father's leather goods store; within four short years, he was commanding the entire Union Army and eventually became President of the United States. Shane highlights Grant's tactical edge: because he went to West Point with so many future Confederate generals, he knew their personal flaws and military styles, using that personal familiarity to defeat them.

* **Grant's Equestrian Skill:** Grant was a legendary horseman who, during the Mexican-American War, famously rode hanging off the side of his horse to dodge enemy fire while delivering ammunition. * **Motivations for War:** The guys reflect on how young men historically rushed to enlist out of boredom, duty, and romanticized ideas of adventure passed down from their fathers and grandfathers, referencing *All Quiet on the Western Front*. * **Presidential Sacrifice:** Normand points out that historic leaders had personal skin in the game, mentioning how President Franklin D. Roosevelt sent all four of his sons to fight in World War II.

---

[02:55:37](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10537s) The Horror of "Bloodlands" and the Failure of Social Programs

The conversation shifts to the brutal realities of history when Shane talks about trying to read *Bloodlands: Europe Between Hitler and Stalin* by Timothy Snyder—a book Rogan recommended that details the atrocities committed by the Nazi and Soviet regimes in Eastern Europe (including Belarus and Ukraine). They touch upon the *Holodomor*, the man-made famine engineered by Joseph Stalin's Soviet regime that starved millions of Ukrainians to death, leading Shane to joke about how "gay communism is" and wonder why young people constantly cycle back into romanticizing it.

> "Ukraine was the Holodomor... So communism is the gayest shit ever. Somebody needs to look into how gay communism is. Isn't it crazy that it's making a comeback?"

This prompts a broader debate about governance, capitalism, and social safety nets. Rogan and the group agree that wanting basic social support like universal healthcare, public libraries, and quality public education isn't "communism"—it's caring for a community. The real problem, Rogan argues, is that massive state budgets intended to help the needy get funneled into corrupt non-profits, administrative overhead, and non-governmental organizations (NGOs) rather than providing actual care.

``` Tax Dollars / Allocations ➔ Corrupt NGOs & Non-Profits ➔ Massive Executive Salaries ➔ Little to No Public Benefit ```

They highlight a recent news story about a Los Angeles homeless shelter non-profit provider whose CEO lived in Hawaii and was paid over $1.6 million in salary and vacation compensation over a two-year period, despite the city's homelessness crisis worsening dramatically. Rogan points out that California spent $24 billion addressing homelessness with zero positive results, and Governor Gavin Newsom vetoed a state audit meant to track where the money actually went.

* **Los Angeles Non-Profit Salary:** The CEO of an LA homeless service non-profit received $1.6 million in pay over two years while residing in Hawaii. * **Spencer Pratt's Political Campaign:** Rogan notes that media personality Spencer Pratt was mocked when running for public office, but actually understood the deep financial corruption and "slush funds" driving the LA homeless industrial complex. * **California Homelessness Spending:** The state of California allocated $24 billion to combat homelessness, yet conditions worsened, and a legislative attempt to audit the funds was vetoed by Governor Gavin Newsom.

[02:59:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10779s) Grant, Lee, and Civil War Generals

Shane Gillis breaks down the historical dynamics of the American Civil War, focusing on Ulysses S. Grant's ascension in the Union Army. Shane explains how Grant began making noise out West while President Lincoln struggled with cautious generals in the East like George McClellan, whom Shane colorfully calls "a bum" who was terrified of Robert E. Lee. Shane highlights that Grant was unique among Union leaders because he didn't put Lee on a pedestal. Grant realized Lee was just as frightened as anyone else, and he recognized that the Union had the numbers to turn the conflict into a brutal war of attrition. Joe Rogan and the group remark on the legend of Lee, while Shane highlights the close relationship between Grant and General William Tecumseh Sherman, recalling Sherman's famous sentiment about supporting Grant through his drinking while Grant supported him through his perceived madness.

``` "I helped out Grant when he was drunk. Grant helped me when I was crazy. We're boys forever." ```

Shane points out that Grant and Sherman were among the few Union commanders who treated the Confederacy strictly as traitors rather than respected "gentlemen." The group discusses how close the Confederacy came to winning and references historian Shelby Foote’s assertion that the North fought with one hand tied behind its back.

* **McClellan's Cautiousness:** Lincoln grew frustrated with McClellan and other Eastern generals for hesitating to engage Lee directly. * **War of Attrition:** Grant leveraged the North’s superior troop numbers to press continuous attacks against Confederate forces. * **Sherman's March:** Sherman treated Southern forces strictly as insurgents and traitors, marching through the South to break their resolve.

---

[03:01:42](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10902s) Historical Artifacts and OJ Simpson Memorabilia

The conversation shifts to collecting rare historical artifacts and unusual auction finds. Joe brings up Ulysses S. Grant's federal presentation sword from 1864, which was sold at auction for millions of dollars. Shane reveals that he owns General Sherman’s actual tactical map from his march through South Carolina, featuring hand-drawn pencil marks, given to him as a gift by comedian Francis Ellis. Shane jokes about trying to show a historical map to women he brings over to his apartment to impress them.

``` "I go, 'Here's my OJ Simpson rushing trophy.' And now she's definitely going to kill me." ```

The talk turns to OJ Simpson auction items. Producer Young Jamie reveals he owns OJ Simpson's old golf clubs, while Shane shares that he once competed against Kim Kardashian in a live auction for OJ's personal belongings. Drunk during the bidding process, Shane accidentally won a haul of items, including Simpson's ties, a rushing trophy, and a framed photograph of Bill Clinton with OJ inscribed: *"To my dear friend OJ Simpson."* The group laughs over Simpson’s legacy in pop culture, spanning his football career, Hertz car rental commercials, and his role as Officer Nordberg in *The Naked Gun*.

* **Grant's Presentation Sword:** Given to Grant upon taking command of the Federal Army in 1864; auctioned for over $5 million. * **Sherman's Campaign Map:** An original map used by General Sherman in South Carolina, gifted to Shane Gillis by Francis Ellis. * **OJ Simpson Auction Items:** Includes Jamie's acquisition of Simpson's golf clubs and Shane's purchase of Simpson's rushing trophy, ties, and a signed photo from President Bill Clinton.

---

[03:03:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11021s) Independent Filmmaking and Tires Season 3

Mark Normand asks whether slapstick, irreverent comedies like *The Naked Gun* could still be made today. Joe and Shane explain that while major legacy studios rarely produce R-rated comedies anymore, filmmakers can easily make them through independent financing. Shane announces that he and Sam Tallent wrote an 80s-style, raunchy comedy film that they are shooting in October with independent funding. Joe mentions that Theo Von and David Spade recently completed a comedy project together as well.

``` "I can't believe some guy's giving us money." ```

Shane discusses the production of his hit Netflix comedy series, *Tires*. When Joe asks about the workload involved, Shane explains that writer/director John McKeever and co-star Steve Gerben ("Gilly and Keeves" collaborators) handle the bulk of the day-to-day writing and heavy lifting, allowing Shane to contribute remotely and show up to perform. Shane praises Netflix executive Ted Sarandos for granting them complete creative freedom without corporate interference or notes. Joe recalls filming his 2005 stand-up special for Netflix at the Tempe Improv when the company was still primarily a DVD-by-mail service.

* **Shane Gillis's Upcoming Movie:** An 80s-style raunchy comedy film co-written with Sam Tallent, set to begin shooting in October. * **Netflix's Hands-off Approach:** Ted Sarandos and Netflix executives give the *Tires* team full creative control without changing scripts. * **Roster of *Tires* Guest Stars:** Season three features appearances by Bobby Lee, Dan Soder, Foley, and Stavros Halkias.

---

[03:05:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11146s) Steve Gerben’s Sex Manual and H. Foley Stories

Shane details an ongoing running joke about his *Tires* co-star Steve Gerben, revealing that Gerben genuinely owns and frequently studies the best-selling oral sex guide *She Comes First* by Ian Kerner. Shane mocks Gerben for treating the book like a rigid playbook, complete with precise timing guidelines (a minimum of 15 minutes, planning up to 45 minutes) and granular advice like "tickling the front." Ari Shaffir and Mark jump in with banter about the book, while Shane expresses genuine discomfort with how openly Gerben discusses his structured approach to romance.

``` "You have a playbook on this!... None of us are acting." ```

The conversation segues into stories about comedian H. Foley from the *Are You Garbage?* podcast. Shane describes Foley’s wild days performing in Philadelphia alongside the late Chris Cotton, recalling chaotic nights at the Raven Lounge where cocaine-fueled fistfights would break out in the back of the room mid-show. Shane recounts his all-time favorite Foley story: while bouncing around high on cocaine on a yoga ball at 400 pounds in an empty room, Foley was watching a stripper dance when a hot ash dropped from his cigarette, instantly popping the yoga ball beneath him and dropping him to the floor.

* **"She Comes First" Manual:** Steve Gerben's real-life reference book for sex techniques, which Shane finds hilarious yet disturbing. * **The Raven Lounge Days:** Philadelphia comedy scene stories involving H. Foley, Chris Cotton, and wild late-night altercations. * **The Yoga Ball Incident:** 400-pound H. Foley popping a yoga ball with a cigarette cherry while watching a stripper.

---

[03:09:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11374s) Soccer vs. Football, Archery, and The Northman

Joe temporarily steps away from the desk to use the bathroom, leaving Shane, Mark, and Ari to run the show. Shane asks Jamie to pull up highlight reels of Notre Dame running back Jeremiah Love. Shane picks at Mark's affinity for the UK, mocking him for calling himself an "immigrant" while staying in London, and arguing that American college football completely outshines European soccer (association football). The group jokes about British soccer icons like Harry Kane and Jude Bellingham while reacting to Jeremiah Love's field moves.

``` "I beat Rogan on the whiz. How many hours are we in now?" ```

When Joe returns, the conversation turns to his daily routines, including spending two hours shooting his compound bow. The group debates whether a modern high-powered hunting bow could kill a human, with Joe clarifying that if a arrow can easily pass through a 700-pound elk, it is more than lethal enough for a human. The segment closes with Shane bringing up Robert Eggers' 2022 historical epic film *The Northman*. Though Shane wasn't impressed when he first saw it in theaters, he rewatched it the previous night and thought it was an absolute masterpiece.

* **College Football vs. Soccer:** Shane argues American college football atmosphere and athleticism beat European soccer. * **Bow Lethality:** Joe explains how modern hunting compound bows generate enough kinetic energy to blow through large game like elk. * **Film Recommendation:** Shane praises director Robert Eggers (*The Witch*, *The Lighthouse*, *The Northman*) for his cinematic detail.

[03:13:23](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11603s) Horror Cinema, Eggers' Nosferatu, and Sudden Fame

The conversation opens with high praise for filmmaker Robert Eggers, celebrating his work on *The VVitch*, *The Lighthouse*, and his remake of *Nosferatu*. The group calls *Nosferatu* potentially "the greatest vampire movie of all time," ranking it above Bram Stoker's *Dracula*. They also touch on films like *Gretel & Hansel* before diving into a passionate discussion about the thriller *Obsession*. They laugh about the movie's depiction of a "nightmare girlfriend," recalling a hilarious scene where a guy tries to act tough to his friends about going to a "guys' night," saying he isn't afraid to tell her, only for ominous horror music to swell as soon as he hangs up the phone and meekly enters his house.

The guys break down the film's escalation into complete insanity, pointing out memorable moments like the girlfriend taping over the door and eventually killing another character. They praise the lead actress's breakout performance, noting how she went from being unknown to an overnight sensation who "can't walk down the street anymore." This prompts a story about the actress visiting the Comedy Cellar in New York with a comic friend; simply walking a single block from 6th Avenue to the venue took over 40 minutes due to swarming fans.

---

[03:15:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11710s) A Star-Studded Night in LA: Chappelle, Kanye West, and the "Cancel Comedy Cavalcade"

Shane Gillis shares an incredible story about an impromptu night out in Los Angeles involving Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Louis C.K., and Kanye West. It all started when Shane and his buddy Tommy Pope landed in LA, with Tommy already completely "obliterated" from drinking on the flight. Dave Chappelle unexpectedly met up with them, followed by Kanye West. Tommy spent the entire night drinking and hanging out with Kanye, only to wake up the next morning completely blacked out, pleading with Shane, "I'd love to meet Kanye... that'd be fucking awesome," having no memory of hanging out with him all night.

The group eventually headed to a comedy club, where Chappelle decided to host a surprise show. Backstage in the green room, Kanye's entourage asked Shane and Louis C.K. to give up their seats—specifically Mitzi Shore's legendary chair. Shane and Louis looked at each other and simply said, "No... We're comics." Chappelle took the stage for a seven-minute set and dubbed the night a "cancel comedy cavalcade." He brought up Shane while dishing out jokes, introduced Louis C.K. by saying, "This next guy was a horrible person to women," and brought out Chris Rock by introducing him as someone who "spoke about someone's wife and got slapped in the face for it." The pop-up show happened after midnight in front of an unsuspecting audience of just 27 people.

After the show, Don Barris took the stage while Kanye grabbed the aux cord in the back to play unreleased music. Kanye openly addressed his past public meltdowns and manic episodes to the room, explaining, "Guys, it wasn't about the Jews... I was crazy. I wasn't in my right mind." He even pointed at Shane, noting that Shane had a stand-up bit about his antics. The room featured a wild mix of personalities, including Jeff Ross and Talib Kweli. When Kanye casually suggested playing a concert in Israel, Chappelle warned him, "You can't play a totalitarian [state]," leading Shane to cheekily remind Chappelle that he had just performed in Saudi Arabia.

- The late-night pop-up show took place after midnight in front of a tiny crowd of only 27 people. - Performers on the surprise lineup included Dave Chappelle, Shane Gillis, Louis C.K., Chris Rock, and Don Barris. - Kanye West played unreleased tracks from his phone and candidly discussed his mental health struggles and public controversies.

---

[03:19:21](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11961s) Performing Stand-Up in Saudi Arabia and Free-Speech Hypocrisies

Shane elaborates on his experience performing stand-up in Saudi Arabia, acknowledging the heavy online backlash he received while admitting he had a fantastic time. The guys joke that because Shane "doesn't stand for anything," he is completely immune to accusations of hypocrisy. Before the show, organizers handed him a strict contract detailing forbidden topics: no jokes criticizing the government, and no material supporting trans or gay causes. Shane jokes that the restrictions felt identical to the contract comedians sign when performing at Joe Rogan's Comedy Mothership.

Despite warnings from friends that he might get his hands chopped off for his past shoplifting—Shane confesses his biggest crime was stealing a single Clif Bar from a Hudson News—he landed in Saudi Arabia and started making jokes immediately. Seeing women driving, he joked, "Women are driving? What? This place has gone to shit." Once on stage, muscle memory took over and he ended up doing his regular act, ignoring the restrictions and making jokes about Muslims, asking the crowd, "You guys get high, what do you stone each other?" The audience loved it, turning out to be one of the warmest and most hospitable crowds he had ever performed for.

The conversation turns to other comedians who were approached for the Saudi gigs, noting that several high-profile comics turned down massive paydays, including Tony Hinchcliffe. Joe and Shane critique the media commentary surrounding the event, particularly referencing Chelsea Handler roasting "right-wing comics" for taking Saudi money. Joe notes that while Chelsea was nice in person and performed great sets, social media incentives drive people to virtue-signal as soon as they leave the room.

- Shane's official criminal history: Stealing a single Clif Bar from a Hudson News stand. - Contractual restrictions for the Saudi comedy festival included bans on government criticism and gay/trans advocacy. - Tony Hinchcliffe was offered a lucrative contract for the Saudi Arabia festival but turned it down.

---

[03:22:23](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12143s) Celebrating Joe Rogan's Birthday and Late-Night Antics with Joe DeRosa

The group shifts to discussing comedian Joe DeRosa, celebrating his new special streaming on Netflix and praising his recent set at the club. They describe DeRosa as a beloved, adopted Egyptian comedian who also happens to be "the king of the most minuscule thing on earth." While he is a great friend to hang out with, he is notorious for his intense late-night drinking habits: he will relentlessly badger everyone to do shots, only to disappear nine minutes later and end up fast asleep inside a fast-food joint.

Shane shares a memory from 10 years ago in New York City, wandering around drunk at 4:00 AM with DeRosa looking for food. The only open option was a KFC inside Penn Station. Shane recalls sitting next to a homeless man in what felt like "the saddest night of my life," while DeRosa happily ate his meal, declaring it the best KFC location he had ever tried. The group dubs DeRosa the "Anthony Bourdain of KFC" and fondly remembers how during COVID-19 lockdowns, he was always the easiest friend to convince to drink outdoor beers at noon.

To close out the segment, the guys crack open Voodoo Ranger IPAs and queue up a Drake song to toast Joe Rogan's upcoming 60th birthday. They briefly touch on health updates for other comedians, noting that Bert Kreischer is still sober following serious health scares involving blood clots, while Conor McGregor has reportedly quit drinking and drugs to focus on promoting his beverage line, Forged Irish Stout.

- Joe DeRosa's top-rated fast-food spot: The late-night KFC located inside NYC's Penn Station. - Bert Kreischer remains on the wagon due to serious medical issues involving blood clots. - Conor McGregor is currently focused on marketing his brand, Forged Irish Stout.

[03:25:57](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12357s) Hot Sauces, Cold Chugs, and the Raw Milk Cure

The group opens with banter over cold punches and fast chugs, quickly transitioning to discussing popular interview shows like *Hot Ones*. Joe Rogan admits he hasn't done *Hot Ones*, calling eating scorching hot wings a "ridiculous way to answer questions," though Shane Gillis defends host Sean Evans as a great guy despite how painful the format is. The conversation turns to legendary *Hot Ones* appearances, particularly Conan O'Brien, who brought out his own medical staff on set and famously rubbed hot sauce all over his face. Shane notes that chugging milk is the only real savior when dealing with extreme spice, leading Joe to preach the benefits of drinking raw, unpasteurized milk straight from local farmers or Amish suppliers.

``` +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | RAW MILK & AMISH CLAIMS | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | • Raw Milk Consumption: Joe drinks a full gallon of raw milk every week. | | • Amish Lifestyle: Praised for keeping to themselves, riding buggies, and | | churning butter without forcing their beliefs on anyone. | | • Autism Debates: Group discusses theories claiming lower autism rates among | | unvaccinated Amish kids or links to raw vs. processed milk. | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ ```

Shane, who grew up near Lancaster, Pennsylvania, pushes back against the notion that the Amish community is free of developmental conditions, cracking jokes about driving past Amish buggies and blasting modern music at them. He argues that the isolated community is packed with intense, incredibly strong individuals doing heavy manual labor.

- **Conan O'Brien's Hot Ones Episode:** Highlighted as one of the best for his extreme physical comedy, face-rubbing hot sauce, and bringing in a fake doctor. - **Amish Mugshots:** Shane urges Young Jamie to pull up mugshots of arrested Amish men, pointing out their distinct bowl cuts, heavy frames, and signature beard-with-no-mustache style.

---

[03:30:51](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12651s) Rumspringa Tangents, Mennonites, and Chugging Competitions

The visual of Amish mugshots spirals into a discussion on Rumspringa—the period where Amish youth are allowed to experience the modern outside world. Shane points out that Rumspringa isn't strictly limited to a single year; individuals can live in the outside world for years before choosing whether to return or face permanent shunning. He recalls seeing groups of Amish guys partying heavily at Notre Dame football tailgates. Ari Shaffir and Mark Normand recount a comedic memory from a stand-up trip in Western Massachusetts, where Ari aggressively cornered a group of terrified Mennonite women at a highway rest stop to interrogate them about their lifestyle while Joey Diaz watched on in disbelief.

``` [ COMBATANTS IN CHUGGING RANKINGS ] =================================== 1. Ari Shaffir (Undisputed Best) 2. Shane Gillis (Runner-Up) 3. Mark Normand (3rd Place) 4. Joe Rogan (Learning curve) ```

The mood shifts back to drinking skills as the comedians rate each other on how fast they can shotgun drinks. Shane and Mark crown Ari as the undisputed champion of fast chugging, praising his ability to open his throat instantly. Shane compares country star Luke Combs' chugging ability to a whale swallowing Jonah.

- **Mennonite Encounters:** Distinct from the Amish, though holding similar traditional dress codes. Joey Diaz famously cracked that Ari was "scanning the shit out of these white people" when Ari approached them in full pilgrim-style outfits. - **Roll-Your-Own Cigarettes:** Shane roasts Ari for hand-rolling his own cigarettes with custom filters, calling it "try-hard" behavior, while Ari jokingly defends it as connecting with his heritage.

---

[03:33:08](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12788s) The Brutal History of the Comanche and Empire of the Summer Moon

Inspired by Ari's hand-rolled cigarettes and native heritage banter, Joe steers the room into a deep dive on Texas history and the Comanche nation. Joe urges everyone to read S. C. Gwynne's seminal book *Empire of the Summer Moon*, describing the Comanches as the fiercest and most dominant horse-riding warriors on the North American continent. He details how 19th-century white settlers were lured into taking homestead land grants in Texas and Oklahoma, only to be brutally killed or captured by Comanche war parties who dominated the region for centuries.

---

> "If you want to tear down statues, don't look into history. You just got to accept the fact that we're learning how to be better people."

Joe retells the famous story of Cynthia Ann Parker, a nine-year-old settler girl kidnapped during a Comanche raid that wiped out her family. She was raised within the tribe, married a chief, and gave birth to Quanah Parker, who would grow up to become the legendary final chief of the Comanche nation. The group marveled at how recent this history is, noting street names in Texas still bearing Quanah Parker's name.

- **Taylor Sheridan Adaptations:** Discussion on filmmaker Taylor Sheridan bringing historical epics like *1883* to television, with Joe praising *1883* for its grim, unvarnished depiction of European immigrants attempting to cross Indian Territory in covered wagons. - **Statue Controversies & Botched Sculptures:** The conversation segues into public statues being removed, leading to laughs over notoriously ugly public art—specifically a bizarre sculpture of soccer star Lionel Messi that appeared to feature a World Cup trophy awkwardly placed in front of his crotch, as well as the famous butchered bust of Cristiano Ronaldo.

---

[03:37:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13021s) Frontier Badasses, Daniel Boone, and Genghis Khan

Joe transitions from Texas lore to frontier legend Daniel Boone and his exploits in Kentucky. Joe recounts the story of Boone building Boonesborough, retrieving his daughter after she was kidnapped by Native Americans, and his daring escape from captivity while making salt at a river. To avoid being tracked by expert pursuers, Boone reportedly ran for miles stepping exclusively on exposed river rocks so as not to leave footprints. He made it back to his fort in time to rally his men and withstand a relentless nine-day siege before militia reinforcements arrived to save them.

``` GENGHIS KHAN & THE MONGOL EMPIRE ================================================================= • Dan Carlin's Podcast: "Wrath of the Khans" (Hardcore History) • Origins Legend: Born holding a blood clot in his fist • Ruthless Beginnings: Killed his own brother over stolen fish • Mongol Mindset: View of non-nomads living in permanent structures as soft and inferior ================================================================= ```

Reflecting on how comfortable modern life is in 2026 compared to historical eras, Joe brings up Dan Carlin's *Hardcore History* podcast series "Wrath of the Khans." Joe reveals his total obsession with Genghis Khan, having devoured multiple books, movies, and documentaries on the Mongol Empire. He recounts the legend of Genghis Khan's birth—how he was born clutching a blood clot in his tiny fist, leading his mother to fear he would grow up to be a monster—and how he executed his own brother at a young age over a stolen fish, setting the stage for his ruthless unification of the steppe.

- **Daniel Boone's Salt Run:** Captured by Native Americans while boiling river water for salt; escaped and traversed wilderness entirely on rock beds to obscure tracking. - **Mongol Warfare:** The steppe nomads looked down on settled civilizations, regarding anyone who lived in permanent buildings rather than felt yurts as weak and inferior.

[03:39:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13178s) Studio Archery and the Fate of Politicians

The conversation begins with a discussion about ancient weaponry and how lethal a bow and arrow can be. When Mark Normand expresses skepticism about an arrow's ability to kill someone—admitting his only experience was with child-sized bows at summer camp—Joe Rogan points out that the Mongolians conquered vast territories using bows. Joe then offers to take everyone to the archery range inside his studio to demonstrate its lethal power firsthand.

``` "Oh, you can kill somebody with an arrow." "That's all the Mongolians did." ```

The topic abruptly shifts to confusion over public figures and political rumors. A mix-up occurs regarding Dan Carlin (host of *Hardcore History*) and a supposed film festival, prompting jokes about "crossing wires" like Mitch McConnell's frozen moments on camera. The group riffs on the health and whereabouts of aging politicians like Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham, joking about wild conspiracy theories surrounding Graham's status after his visits abroad.

- Joe points out that the studio features its own functional archery range. - The group jokes about politicians signing bills by proxy for incapacitated leaders. - Shane Gillis mentions doing stand-up comedy in Charleston, South Carolina, where he mocked Lindsey Graham to an enthusiastic audience response.

---

[03:41:36](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13296s) Debating Ancient Sexuality, Spartans, and History

The group transitions into a debate over historical armies and male bonding. Shane proposes that ancient armies consisting solely of men staying together in the field for years inevitably engaged in homosexual behavior. Joe strongly disagrees with applying modern labels to historical contexts, leading to a back-and-forth about the Spartans and the movie *300*. Shane jokes that the film conveniently omitted those historical aspects while keeping the warriors suspiciously hairless and oiled up.

``` "They didn't have a word for gay back then because it was just so normal in Greece." "Ancient Greeks did not have a single neutral word equivalent to the modern identity term 'gay.'" ```

To resolve the debate, the group uses Perplexity AI to look up historical terminology and army structures. Perplexity confirms that ancient Greeks did not have an exact equivalent to the modern fixed identity of "gay," instead framing relationships around social roles and specific acts. Joe reads out entries regarding the Sacred Band of Thebes—a unit composed of male lovers—while Shane remains skeptical of modern interpretations being retrofitted onto ancient history.

- The group references historical figures known for same-sex relationships, including Alexander the Great and Socrates. - Joe details cultural practices among semen-warrior rituals in Papua New Guinea, noting how early Christian missionaries put an end to those tradition structures. - They discuss modern legal anomalies in the Middle East, specifically how strict prohibitions against homosexuality in Iran have led to higher rates of state-sanctioned gender reassignment surgeries.

---

[03:47:22](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13642s) Planning the Night Out and Recovering Like a Primitive

With the afternoon wearing on around 5:00 PM, the group debates their options for the rest of the night—whether to keep drinking at the studio, grab dinner, or head out to comedy clubs. Mark Normand and the others mention upcoming shows and meeting up with fellow comedians like Paul Virzi and Tony Hinchcliffe. Shane admits he is running on just two hours of sleep due to heavy nicotine consumption the night before, while Joe remarks on his own ability to recover quickly from long nights and heavy drinking.

``` "I'm from a different time... I got Neanderthal genes, man. That's a fact." "And last night I was like, I can't sleep. And I'm like, I had 20 nicotine pouches. 20." ```

Joe attributes his physical resilience to his "primitive" genetic makeup and high Neanderthal percentage. Meanwhile, Shane describes his sleepless night caused by popping roughly 20 nicotine pouches back-to-back while hanging out, leading to a pounding heart and zero rest.

- The comedians mention other comics currently in town, including Ian Edwards. - Shane recalls Ian Edwards' unusual habits, including being a long-time vegan who seemingly survives on "photosynthesis" and catching Shane sleeping with his mouth open on planes. - Shane describes a viral photo he once posted on Twitter of Joe sleeping open-mouthed on a flight, which resulted in thousands of user-created Photoshops by the time they landed.

---

[03:49:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13790s) Nicotine Addictions, Caffeine Crashes, and Elite Cigars

The conversation moves to the widespread popularity of nicotine pouches, with the group noting how almost every guy between 20 and 50 seems to carry a circular pouch tin in their pocket. They discuss chemical dependence versus habit, with Joe sharing that he took a break from pouches during a vacation without experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms or shakes.

``` "What does that teach you? And you go, 'Don't quit.'" "He's like, 'I smoke 50 cigars a day.'... So, he made one giant cigar." ```

Joe shares a story about his worst experience with chemical dependency, which was caused by high-caffeine energy sodas he bought at LA liquor stores while writing. When he tried to quit cold turkey, he suffered massive headaches, leading to the lighthearted takeaway: "Don't quit." They also touch on famous heavy smokers like Fidel Castro and Winston Churchill, before debating the current quality of Cuban cigars versus Dominican and Nicaraguan varieties.

- Joe notes that modern Cuban cigars are often counterfeited and that quality control dropped after major foreign acquisitions catering to mass markets. - The group jokes about extreme delicacy menus in foreign countries, including black-market exotic meats. - The discussion ends on a dark note regarding extreme wealth, power, and the historical presence of taboo rituals at the highest levels of influence.

[03:53:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13995s) Debating Human Sacrifice, Myths, and Historical Realities

The group dives into a gruesome discussion about historical sacrifices and whether human sacrifice still persists in modern times. Mark Normand and Ari Shaffir question what could possibly be more forbidden than eating a child or offering up virgins. The conversation shifts toward common historical myths, such as throwing virgins into volcanoes, with Joe Rogan clarifying that virgin sacrifice is far more of a literary and cinematic trope than a documented historical reality. Shane Gillis jokingly remarks that post-Christian society likely retrofitted the "virgin" detail into ancient tales, while Joe points out that ancient cultures sacrificed whatever or whoever they believed was most valuable to appease the gods. They also briefly touch upon tragic, modern-day superstitions in parts of Africa regarding virgins and disease cures, as well as Dave Chappelle’s classic stand-up routine about the sheer physical impossibility and absurdity of trying to fuck a monkey.

``` Ancient Sacrifice Myths vs. Facts ┌─────────────────────────────┬──────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ Common Myth │ Historical Reality │ ├─────────────────────────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ Virgins thrown into │ Minimal historical proof; largely a │ │ volcanoes for gods │ modern Hollywood and literary trope │ ├─────────────────────────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ Victims were solely innocent│ Conquered kings and high-value prisoners │ │ young women │ were routinely sacrificed for power │ └─────────────────────────────┴──────────────────────────────────────────┘ ```

- Highlighting the scale of Mesoamerican rituals, Joe describes Mayan execution practices where conquered kings were tied to massive stone wheels and rolled hundreds of yards down steep structures. - Shane quips, "I think it was a good thing the Spanish showed up and gave them what for," leading into a broader discussion on the brutality of ancient empires.

[03:55:52](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14152s) Aztec Consecration and Spanish Chroniclers

The guys debate the staggering body counts attributed to Aztec human sacrifices, specifically during the re-dedication of the Templo Mayor in Tenochtitlan. Joe cites historical accounts by Spanish chroniclers, noting that numbers between 20,000 and 80,000 people were reported to have been sacrificed over just four days. After running a quick search via Perplexity to double-check the exact details, Joe corrects the chronicler's name from Diaz to Fray Diego Durán. He shares that while 16th-century accounts claim 80,400 people were killed in 1487, modern historians view those numbers as highly exaggerated estimates, with alternative codices like the *Codex Telleriano-Remensis* estimating around 4,000 victims.

- Joe emphasizes how awe-inspiring and terrifying the original Central American structures must have been, noting that the Aztecs actually moved into pre-existing cities built by earlier unknown civilizations a thousand years prior. - Shane compares the Spanish Inquisition’s total execution count across centuries to a single multi-day festival under the Aztecs to highlight the sheer scale of ancient violence. - The group praises Mel Gibson's film *Apocalypto* for vividly capturing the chaotic, brutal atmosphere of pre-Columbian Mesoamerica.

[03:59:05](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14345s) Mexican History, Conquerors, and the CIA's Cocaine Era

The discussion shifts to American expansionism, Latin American revolutions, and rogue historical figures. Shane and Joe trace Mexican control over Texas and California in the 1820s through the 1840s, giving credit to President James K. Polk for drastically expanding U.S. territory. They praise Simón Bolívar and his general Antonio José de Sucre for liberating South America from Spanish rule. The conversation then segues into modern geopolitical interventions, specifically the cocaine trade during the 1880s and 1980s, leading directly into the infamous Mena, Arkansas drug smuggling scandal.

``` Mena, Arkansas Connection ┌───────────────────────────┬────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ Key Figure │ Role / Event │ ├───────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ Barry Seal │ CIA pilot smuggling cocaine into Arkansas │ ├───────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ Bill Clinton │ Governor of Arkansas during the air drops │ ├───────────────────────────┼────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ George H. W. Bush │ Vice President; contact number allegedly │ │ │ found on Seal's body │ └───────────────────────────┴────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ```

- Joe recounts the story of Barry Seal, the CIA pilot portrayed by Tom Cruise in *American Made*, noting that Seal was far less attractive in real life. - The group brings up the mysterious death of two Arkansas teenagers who were murdered on train tracks after accidentally stumbling upon one of Seal's low-altitude cocaine drops. - Joe points out that when Barry Seal was assassinated right before testifying, he reportedly had Vice President George H. W. Bush's personal phone number in his pocket.

[04:02:18](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14538s) Presidential Antics, Age, and Unfiltered History

As the show approaches its fourth hour, the comedians debate whether to wrap up or keep going while poking fun at British culture, New York real estate, and bizarre presidential habits. Reading live fact-checks on screen, Joe notes that while rumors persist about Bill Clinton’s knowledge of Mena operations, official federal investigations never directly implicated him. The guys joke about historical presidential behavior before the internet era, highlighting how Lyndon B. Johnson would famously force journalists to talk to him while he used the bathroom with the door wide open. Shane brings up a recent internet rumor claiming Donald Trump drinks 14 Diet Cokes an hour, which Joe dismisses as an exaggerated social media reel before confirming Trump reputedly consumes around 12 per day.

- Shane highlights the wild age gap in past scandals, noting that if Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky's affair happened today, her birth year would be 2004 compared to his 1977 equivalent. - Joe and Shane discuss Trump's age, noting how nearly impossible it is for an 80-year-old president or hyper-wealthy figure to truly relate to the everyday struggles of average citizens.

[04:05:25](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14725s) Buying Luxury Cars and Selling the Maybach

The conversation turns personal as the group calls out Shane for buying an ultra-luxurious Maybach. Shane admits feeling deeply embarrassed driving it around Austin after returning from a month-long trip, realizing that the car is essentially designed to be chauffeured from the back seat rather than driven personally. Mark Normand jumps in to share how he helped Shane buy a Mercedes S-Class earlier by completely silencing the dealership salesman and pitching the car’s features to Shane himself.

> "I took him to the Mercedes dealership. I told the dealer to shut up so I could sell it. I'm like, 'I know everything about this car. Let me sell it to my friend!'" — Mark Normand

- Shane jokes that he initially wanted to buy a sensible Honda Accord before Mark pressured him into buying the high-end Mercedes. - Joe and Shane recall that Shane's previous car was ruined when a massive tree branch fell directly on top of it. - The segment wraps up with the guys looking at photos of comedian Tracy Morgan driving custom high-end exotic cars, including a Ferrari, through the streets of New York City using his casino craps winnings and settlement money.

[04:07:06](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14826s) Driving in New York City and Uninsured Life

The guys open with a discussion about driving high-end exotic cars through New York City, marveling at a video of a Lamborghini Roadster navigating Times Square. They all agree that driving in New York is chaotic and baffling, questioning how anyone routinely manages it. Mark Normand mentions that he still owns and drives his classic 1973 BMW 2002 (the "roundy" model with round taillights), which he recently hand-washed outside his home using a hose, bucket, and sponge like a traditional American.

``` 1973 BMW 2002 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ • Vintage "roundy" tail lights │ │ • Manual transmission & no air conditioning │ │ • No active vehicle registration │ │ • Operating completely uninsured ("riding dirty") │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ```

The discussion takes a hilarious turn when Mark casually admits that his vintage BMW has no air conditioning, no registration, and no insurance. Joe Rogan and Shane Gillis react with shock, warning him not to admit to illegal acts on air. Mark tries to backtrack, claiming he tried to fill out the paperwork but simply "glossed over" and "blacked out" due to his complete inability to handle administrative forms.

* **Administrative Apathy:** Mark confesses he lacks health insurance for similar reasons, admitting he simply cannot navigate paperwork and needs a manager or representative to handle his personal life. * **The Insurance Gamble:** Mark points out that by foregoing health insurance for years without major medical issues, he has saved tens of thousands of dollars—though he acknowledges the immense risk involved.

---

[04:08:54](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14934s) Healthcare System Frustrations and Corporate PACs

Shane brings up corporate insurance abuses, mentioning a conversation with comedian Brigham Coleman regarding denial rates. He notes that insurance companies automatically deny legitimate medical claims because only 10% of patients bother to follow up, making denial a profitable business model. The crew reflects on how private healthcare ends up costing everyday Americans significantly more out-of-pocket than publicly funded systems would, sparking a broad critique of lobbyist influence in Washington.

``` INSURANCE DENIAL SYSTEM TEXAS SQUARE DEAL (1901-1909) ┌──────────────────────────────────┐ ┌──────────────────────────────────┐ │ • Claim Submitted │ │ • Fair Consumer Protection │ │ • Automatic Denials Issued │ │ • Control of Big Corporations │ │ • Only 10% of Victims Appeal │ │ • Natural Resource Conservation │ └──────────────────────────────────┘ └──────────────────────────────────┘ ```

Shane draws a historical comparison to President Theodore Roosevelt's "Square Deal," noting that America currently needs a leader willing to use executive power to break up corporate monopolies and modern PACs. However, Joe and Shane express cynicism about whether meaningful reform is even possible today. They argue that corporate money, Super PACs, and tech lobbyists are so deeply entrenched in political institutions that any leader attempting radical restructuring would face catastrophic resistance or assassination.

* **The Three C's:** Roosevelt's Square Deal focused on consumer protection, corporate control, and resource conservation. * **Systemic Corruption:** The group laments that institutional power continually creeps toward totalitarian control, siphoning wealth away from middle-class citizens who can no longer afford homes or basic living expenses.

---

[04:12:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15129s) Surveillance Culture and Upper West Side Cameras

The conversation pivots to surveillance technology after Shane points out a map showing a strange gap in surveillance coverage in New York City. He claims that a specific section of the Upper West Side is completely devoid of surveillance cameras, sparking a playful debate with Ari Shaffir. Ari mockingly defends the area, pointing out that half of the highlighted area on the map is actually Central Park.

> "Shut the fuck up! The flock cameras are in Central Park where the rest is!"

Joe explains that high-tech surveillance cameras have quietly proliferated across the nation over the last two years without public oversight or consent. Shane jokes about looking around stores to shoplift, only to realize that modern visual monitoring is inescapable. The group agrees that America is steadily sliding into an subtle "police state," where citizens are constantly tracked by public and private camera networks.

* **Flock Safety Cameras:** Automated license plate recognition (ALPR) cameras mounted in public spaces to record vehicle movements. * **Neighborhood Demographics:** The guys banter about the wealthy and heavily Jewish demographics of the Upper West Side compared to the Upper East Side, debating whether affluent areas receive different law enforcement infrastructure.

---

[04:14:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15268s) NIL College Sports, Gambling, and Political Bets

The group shifts focus to the state of modern sports, lamenting how the Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL) system and conference realignments are fundamentally changing college football. Shane and Mark argue that sports gambling has reached an unhealthy extreme, with athletes in various leagues actively manipulating game statistics or throwing games to satisfy spot-bets and player-prop micro-markets.

``` ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ MODERN GAMBLING ISSUES │ ├──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ • NIL Realignment: Traditional collegiate rivalries dissolved for money │ │ • Prop-Bet Manipulation: Athletes altering stats for micro-market bets │ │ • Political Prediction Markets: Betters trading on public figure events │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ```

Joe recalls how producer Young Jamie previously pulled up prediction markets like Kalshi and Polymarket on screen during the show, prompting Joe to demand he close the tabs immediately so the hosts wouldn't be influenced by public betting odds. This prompts a hilarious tangent about former Congressman George Santos, who was investigated by federal authorities for allegedly betting on prediction platforms regarding his own political public appearances.

* **George Santos Allegations:** The former congressman allegedly placed prediction bets on whether he would attend official events like the State of the Union, deliberately absenting himself to cash in. * **The "Jew-ish" Lie:** The guys burst into laughter re-enacting Santos's famous defense when caught lying about his heritage, where he claimed he meant he was "Jewish-adjacent" or simply frugal.

---

[04:16:48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15408s) Internet Culture and Social Manipulation

Mark and Shane express deep anxiety over the destructive impact of social media and constant connectivity on human psychology. While Mark admits he hates excessive government regulation, he feels something drastic must be done to curb the societal damage caused by tech platforms that deliberately pit people against one another for profit.

Joe elaborates on how a handful of tech oligarchs exercise unprecedented control over public narratives, economic choices, and social dynamics. He notes that these corporations wield so much capital that they effectively dictate policy to elected officials, leaving the general public helpless against algorithmically engineered outrage.

> "They make comedians turn in other comedians so they could sell everybody Snickers."

* **Corporate Control:** Small groups of tech executives shape news feeds, narrative boundaries, and cultural priorities. * **Comedic Friction:** Shane quips about how modern media incentives encourage performers and public figures to betray one another to secure mainstream corporate sponsorships.

---

[04:17:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15461s) Post-Show Plans and San Francisco Banter

Ari interrupts the heavy political talk to announce he has to use the restroom again after consuming a combination of beers and whiskey. The group jokes about his low alcohol tolerance, noting it is only his third drink of the night. Joe and Shane throw glasses and drams across the studio table, teasing each other while planning their evening outing in Austin.

``` POST-SHOW EVENING PLAN ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ 1. Skip performing stand-up comedy tonight │ │ 2. Meet up with comedians O'Neill and Edge │ │ 3. Bar-hop in Austin until late night │ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ```

The hosts discuss comedian nicknames, mocking Tony Hinchcliffe for coining the nickname "The Edge" for one of their mutual friends. They wrap up the segment reflecting on recent comedy tour stops, praising San Francisco as an iconic city that is slowly recovering from its recent urban decline. Despite its public issues, they praise San Francisco for its world-class walkability, North Beach Italian restaurants, Chinese food, and legendary tiki bars.

* **San Francisco Highlights:** Great food scenes in Chinatown and North Beach, distinct neighborhood bar hopping, and scenic waterfront views. * **The Reality Check:** Shane and Joe joke that enjoying San Francisco requires ignoring the pervasive smell of human waste and property crime warning signs on parked cars.

Here is a detailed, faithful walkthrough of the provided transcript section.

---

[04:19:55](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15595s) San Francisco's Decline and the Homeless Crisis

The group kicks off with a vivid description of summer in San Francisco's Chinatown, marveling at how chaotic it has become to the point where people openly defecate in the streets like a "giant toilet." Mark Normand and Joe Rogan fondly recall performing there years prior—Rogan highlights shooting his 2016 stand-up special *Triggered* at the iconic Fillmore when the city was still in great shape. Rogan notes that San Francisco's new mayor is attempting to revitalize the city starting with live music to draw crowds back out, though he emphasizes that fixing the deep-rooted issues will take decades. He points out that the homelessness crisis originally surged during the Reagan administration when mental health institutions were decommissioned, but things escalated dramatically around 2016–2017 with widespread tent encampments before exploding during the pandemic.

- Rogan quips that officials should "use Alcatraz" to house and rehabilitate the homeless population. - The group debates whether San Francisco was ever truly a "clean" city, with Rogan arguing it was manageable until the last decade.

---

[04:22:22](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15742s) Regional Homeless Dynamics: East Coast vs. West Coast

The conversation shifts to how different cities handle homelessness and the distinct "vibes" of vagrancy across the country. Shane Gillis recalls staying at a Tenderloin hotel where the front desk clerk specifically warned him, "Don't turn right," pointing out the absurd reality of invisible barriers separating safe streets from chaos. Mark Normand shares a joke from comedian Yannis Pappas: "The problem with New York City homeless is they don't get out of line because every 10 years or so, we burn one alive... keeps them in check." Rogan and the guys compare East Coast homeless populations—who they joke sleep through the winter or pass out on heroin—with West Coast populations, who are characterized as being fueled by meth, aggressive, and prone to chasing pedestrians.

- Shane recounts visiting Salt Lake City, expecting a pristine, clean city based on past memories, only to be chased by several homeless men upon landing. - The guys praise Mormon-run campuses like BYU as "utopian" clean zones due to strict enforcement. - Shane wonders aloud why neither major political party addresses homelessness and fentanyl aggressively, which Rogan attributes to the massive non-profit industry and money tied up in maintaining the crisis.

---

[04:24:25](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15865s) Debating LA's Homelessness Numbers and "Liberal" Statistics

Rogan brings up Los Angeles's historic Skid Row, explaining that the city used to actively contain vagrants within designated blocks while providing basic services. He recalls driving through LA in 2004 or 2005 while filming *Fear Factor*, taking a wrong turn, and being shocked by endless blocks of cardboard boxes. Producer Young Jamie looks up current statistics showing roughly 4,400 people in Skid Row and around 73,000 across LA County. Rogan vehemently rejects these numbers as artificially low, jokingly calling Jamie a "goddamn fed" and accusing mainstream media sources like the LA Times of reporting sanitized government figures.

- Rogan asserts that LA spent $4 billion on homelessness while only worsening the situation. - The group jokes that homeless people migrate to Los Angeles specifically for the favorable climate and public services because "you don't freeze." - Shane mentions a dark rumor he heard on social media that some addicts test fentanyl potency on stray dogs to see if it's lethal before using it.

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[04:27:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=16061s) Plug Session and Wrap-Up

Rogan calls time on the episode as six o'clock approaches and kicks off the traditional wrap-up plugs. Shane plugs his Netflix comedy series *Tires* (Season 3) and tells the audience to text Ari Shaffir to "get the fuck out of England"—while jokingly asking listeners in the UK to help him source weed or magic mushrooms. Mark Normand plugs his tour dates for building a new hour, his podcasts *We Might Be Drunk* and *Tuesdays with Stories!*, and his Netflix special *None Too Pleased*, closing with his signature "Praise Allah!" Rogan ends the show by plugging the Comedy Mothership website and signing off.

- "Everybody go see *Tires*. It's on Netflix right now." - "I'm going over the road. Check my website... I'll see you all in hell. Praise Allah."

[Source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA)

中文简报

Joe Rogan 播客第 2539 期：Protect Our Parks 17 本期节目中，众嘉宾探讨了 X 平台为打击外国点击农场的虚假引流资讯而推出的新变现规则。随后，Joe Rogan 与嘉宾回顾了在白宫南草坪举办的 UFC 赛事盛况及赛后风波，并回忆了自己早年为 UFC 无偿解说约 15 场赛事的经历；此外，针对 Ari Shaffir 在伦敦因缺乏信用记录遭多套公寓拒租的困境，Rogan 提出提供一整年奥斯汀免租豪华公寓，极力劝说其搬回得州。众嘉宾讨论了 X（原 Twitter）针对虚假新闻的新变现规则，指出平台正通过限制仅对原创且真实的内容发放分成，以打击外国点击农场制造与传播的虚假引流资讯。 (17:15) Shane Gillis 与 Joe Rogan 回顾了在白宫南草坪举办的震撼 UFC 赛事，包括军用战机低空掠过、现场特技越野车秀，以及 Justin Gaethje 击败 Ilia Topuria 后的热议发言与舆论风波。 (24:28) Joe Rogan 回忆起 UFC 早期的艰难岁月，透露当时 Dana White 邀请他担任 UFC 37.5 跨界特别解说，随后他为联盟无偿免费解说了大约 15 场比赛。 (60:00) Ari Shaffir 讲述了移居英国伦敦期间因缺乏本地信用记录而遭 7 套公寓拒租的遭遇；Joe Rogan 随即开出一整年免租金提供奥斯汀 39 层豪华高层公寓的条件，力劝他搬回得州。 (66:34)

Reading summary

In a wide-ranging conversation on the Joe Rogan Experience, Joe Rogan, Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir evaluate institutional failures in public policy and governance, the pervasive effects of tech surveillance, and chaotic encounters across professional sports and stand-up comedy. Political Incentives, Social Spending, and Public Disconnect (79:53) The panel critiques systemic governance issues, arguing that both major American political parties prioritize institutional self-preservation over genuine reform. Discussing presidential pardons, the group examines whether mechanically replicated signatures using an autopen could theoretically invalidate outgoing executive acts, while noting that political administrations avoid prosecuting predecessors because they fear retaliatory enforcement once power shifts. Turning to public spending, Rogan contends that tax revenues intended to alleviate poverty, homelessness, and healthcare needs are systematically diverted into executive salaries, administrative overhead, and corrupt non-governmental organizations rather than reaching individuals in need. Surveillance Expansion and Algorithmic Social Fragmentation (252:09) The conversation shifts to the quiet proliferation of automated monitoring infrastructure and digital manipulation. Rogan emphasizes that modern technologies like Flock Safety automated license plate recognition cameras have expanded nationally across public spaces with minimal civilian oversight, slowly constructing a normalized surveillance state. In digital media, Gillis and Normand describe the psychological toll of social media algorithms engineered to surface rage and antagonism for profit. Rogan adds that concentrated corporate tech power shapes news feeds and public discourse to such a degree that platforms effectively manipulate social dynamics and dictate terms to elected leaders. Biological Criteria and Spectacle in Modern Athletics (14:28) Athletic integrity and the changing landscape of combat sports serve as recurring case studies. Rogan advocates for a strict chromosomal standard (XX versus XY) to preserve biological female divisions in athletics, pointing to broad cultural consensus and instances in European basketball where biological men physically dominated female opponents. At the same time, the group reflects on the changing scale and technical skill of combat sports, from historic UFC matches dominated by raw wrestlers like Mark Kerr against traditional karate practitioners in full gi attire, to recent spectacles such as Justin Gaethje defeating Ilia Topuria on the White House South Lawn and Paddy Pimblett executing novel submission finishes like his signature 'Padlock' choke. Behind-the-Scenes Hostility and Fringe Comedy Circuits (163:23) The panel recounts the raw and occasionally perilous realities of working in stand-up comedy outside mainstream corporate venues. Rogan details navigating mob-controlled establishments like the former Joker's Wild in Connecticut, where the venue owner shorted performer pay under implicit threat and violently struck an unruly patron with the wooden heel of a dress shoe. The group contrasts these volatile venue dynamics with unexpected celebrity pop-up performances, including an after-midnight show hosted by Dave Chappelle alongside Chris Rock and Louis C.K. in front of a small crowd of 27 people, underscoring the stark cultural divide between traditional performance spaces and unpredictable underground circuits. The discussion presents modern public policy, digital tech infrastructure, and entertainment institutions as increasingly disconnected from practical realities, leaving individuals to navigate predatory algorithms, bureaucratic stagnation, and erratic cultural norms.

精炼阅读摘要

本期节目中，Joe Rogan 与 Shane Gillis、Mark Normand 及 Ari Shaffir 围绕文化议题转向、算法操弄与监控社会、政客权力博弈及历史逸闻展开漫谈。对话指出，无论是体育领域的性别界限争议、社交媒体刻意激化的群体对立，还是社会福利资金流向非营利机构的损耗，均体现出主流建制与公众常识的脱节。体育性别界限与文化审查制度的变迁 (14:28) 围绕体育竞技与身份政治，Joe Rogan 与 Shane Gillis 讨论了激进文化观念的退潮，指出包括众议员 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez 在内的进步派人士也已承认早期部分口号过火。针对跨性别选手参与女子竞技，Rogan 强调应以染色体类型（XX 与 XY）作为硬性分类标准，并批评当前的舆论双重标准——公众普遍反对生理男性进入女子赛事，却从不反对跨性别男性挑战 NBA 等男子赛事。对话以 Enes Kanter Freedom 戏谑加盟 WNBA 为例，提及 WNBA 虽长期亏损，但在 Caitlin Clark 与 A'ja Wilson 的竞争及身体对抗升级后获得空前关注，同时指出法国一名跨性别女篮选手的统治级表现凸显了规则争议。在公序良俗与审查层面，嘉宾们对比了数十年来社会对色情内容的规制。Rogan 与 Mark Normand 回顾了 20 世纪 60 年代脱口秀演员因演出粗口即遭逮捕的禁令，以及 1991 年 Paul Reubens（Pee-wee Herman）在成人影院被捕的事件。Gillis 指出，尽管媒介已从录像带过渡至互联网，但多州当前推行的强制年龄验证法律正在数字世界中构筑新的“梅森-迪克森线”，反映出监管在道德恐慌与个人自由间的周期性摇摆。算法操控、平台寻租与监控社会的扩张 (98:34) 针对数字生活对个体心理的侵蚀，Shane Gillis 阐释了自己退出 Reddit 和 Twitter 的原因，指出社交平台算法系统性推崇负面情绪，即便用户浏览自然风光也会深陷恶毒评论的循环。Normand 与 Rogan 进一步批判了大型科技寡头对公共话语的操控。Rogan 认为，极少数科技高管掌控着信息流边界，通过算法挑起公众愤怒以换取商业广告利润，其资本体量甚至能左右政策制定；Gillis 则调侃当下激励机制常促使公众人物为了主流赞助而相互攻讦。在平台特权与监控技术方面，节目提及特朗普媒体科技集团（Trump Media）曾推出每月高达 10 万美元的 Truth API 订阅服务，允许高付费用户提前获取可能影响市场的帖文，被嘉宾们嘲讽为几乎合法的“内幕交易”。同时，全美悄然普及的 Flock Safety 自动车牌识别（ALPR）摄像头引发了对无死角监控的忧虑。嘉宾们指出，此类设备在缺乏公众审查的情况下全面进驻社区，正使社会逐步滑向隐形的警察国家状态。政治特权循环、生物战阴影与公共治理失效 (79:53) 在政治运作层面，嘉宾们深入探讨了行政权力的自我保护逻辑。针对拜登任期尾声使用自动签名机（autopen）签署正式文件和赦免令的法律争议，Rogan 分析指出，尽管有观点认为机械签名可能导致广泛的预防性赦免失效，但特朗普在 Truth Social 上表示尊重传统赦免豁免权，本质上是为了防止未来轮替时先例反噬自身。Rogan 认为，政客极少就腐败或战争责任对前任进行清算，两党在政商旋转门、加密货币交易及外国投资中均存在深度利益寻租；联邦财务披露显示特朗普在其第二任期首年（2025年）申报了超过 14 亿美元的加密货币相关收入。在公共治理与安全方面，对话直指体制资金分配的虚伪性。Shane Gillis 分享了阅读 Annie Jacobsen 著作时的震撼，Rogan 与 Ari Shaffir 探讨了以“功能获得性”（gain-of-function）为名的病原体改造实验实则由纳税人资助、制造致命生化武器的巨大风险，并提及苏联科学家曾涉嫌基因编辑鼠疫杆菌以诱发狂喜、加速致死病毒传播的极端案例。谈及各大城市的无家可归与芬太尼危机时，Rogan 与 Gillis 指出，巨额财政预算并未直接惠及受助人群，而是被庞大的非营利机构（NGO）与行政高管薪酬瓜分吞噬，导致治理机制彻底沦为靠维持危机牟利的闭环。格斗技术演进、历史藏品与喜剧圈荒诞记忆 (48:35) 在格斗与流行文化维度，嘉宾们分析了职业竞技与历史逸闻的荒诞切片。Rogan 详细解析了 UFC 选手 Paddy Pimblett 击败 King Green 时所用的复合绞杀技“Padlock”，该技术结合 D'Arce 绞与背部三角锁，通过脚钩锁死对手二头肌并翻滚施压，展现了现代缠斗技巧的精密化；随后他们对比了 UFC 14 中身穿传统道服的 Moti Horenstein 遭滥用类固醇的 Mark Kerr 碾压的历史影像，揭示出早期综合格斗在战术与体格上的粗放代差。从白宫南草坪史无前例的 UFC 赛事，到昔日花花公子庄园的落魄格斗夜及 Hugh Hefner 苛刻的产权留居协议，节目勾勒了格斗场景在不同权力空间的奇特演变。对话同时穿插着对名利场的黑色幽默叙事。Gillis 分享了自己在醉酒拍卖中意外购得 OJ 辛普森个人奖杯、领带及克林顿题字合影的经历，并与 Jamie 持有的辛普森球杆相互调侃；Rogan 则回忆了早年康涅狄格州黑帮经营的 Joker's Wild 俱乐部老板因演出报酬纠纷当众用硬木鞋跟重击闹事观众的暴力场面。此外，嘉宾们还讲述了 Dave Chappelle、Chris Rock、Louis C.K. 与 Kanye West 突发集结的深夜秘密即兴演出，以第一视角折射出喜剧圈在名声与取消风波中的真实生态。整期对谈在幽默讽刺的外表下，呈现了当代公众对算法监控、阶层特权及意识形态极化的深刻疏离。不过，节目中关于生物武器实验、政治签名法律效力及部分历史细节的讨论多基于传闻与个人记忆，未进行严密的事实核查，其核心价值更多在于展现脱口秀从业者立足于大众常识的反思与文化观察。

Detailed notes — zh

## Detailed walkthrough ### [00:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1s) 演播室开场与啤酒热量大讨论录音一开始，Joe Rogan、Shane Gillis、Mark Normand 和 Ari Shaffir 围坐在演播室中举杯庆祝。Mark 刚下飞机赶到，手头只拿着一杯水，立刻被其他人调侃；他随即挑了一罐啤酒加入对饮。当大家发现有人拿了巫毒游侠 IPA（Voodoo Ranger IPA）时，Shane 坦言自己过去极度迷恋 IPA，直到短短一个月内体重暴增 45 磅。他形容喝这种高浓度精酿啤酒简直就像在“喝奶昔”，每次演完脱口秀甚至能一口气灌下十罐，热量极高。随后话题转向哪种啤酒最容易发胖。Mark 以为口感浓稠醇厚的健力士黑啤（Guinness）热量最高，只能喝几杯，但 Joe 纠正指出，健力士黑啤的卡路里其实比大多数常规啤酒都要低，其热量甚至仅次于轻啤（Bud Light）。相反，百威（Budweiser）等工业拉格全由小麦和谷物酿造，热量反而重得多。Shane 见状开玩笑提醒大家“别招惹安海斯-布希（Anheuser-Busch）家族”，调侃他们近期遭遇的公关风波已经够多了。此外，大家还试验了敲击易拉罐防喷溅的实用小技巧，感慨老一辈没有手机的年代，人们总能捣鼓出各种神奇的生活窍门。 - Shane 透露自己曾把 IPA 当淡啤喝，单月暴增 45 磅体重。 - 众人破除刻板印象：虽然健力士黑啤（Guinness）口感顺滑绵密，但其实际卡路里远低于百威等传统小麦啤酒。 --- ### [02:16](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=136s) 尼古丁袋的刺激与“长途巴士服药”旧事 Joe 聊起自己最近摄入尼古丁过多，打算戒掉尼古丁含片/袋（Nicotine pouch）。他提到前一晚在休息室里连着嚼，回家路上又含，看电视时又塞一颗，每颗含有 6 毫克尼古丁，导致神经过度兴奋，在床上躺到凌晨七点都无法入眠。从未尝试过尼古丁袋的 Mark Normand 出于好奇想试一颗，大家纷纷起哄并警告他这会带来剧烈灼烧感、打嗝甚至心慌。 Mark 把一颗 6 毫克的 ZYN 塞入口中后，几乎瞬间就感到腿脚发麻、神经紧绷，大呼后悔。Shane 趁机翻出旧账，调侃 Mark 总是盲目跟风，一旦尝试就会立刻抓狂——就像当年在费城，两人约好一起尝试摇头丸（Molly），结果刚服下，Mark 就因同场的 Big Jay Oakerson 喋喋不休而陷入恐慌，连夜坐上一趟只需 1 美元的廉价长途巴士（BoltBus / 唐人街大巴）逃回纽约。Joe 表示自己平时喝意式浓缩咖啡都能安睡，但尼古丁过量确实会把人彻底搞垮；而 Mark 最终承受不住强烈的身体反应，只能赶紧将尼古丁袋吐了出来。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: Mark Normand 尼古丁与冲动经历反应链 accDescr: 展示 Mark Normand 从跟风尝试高刺激物质到迅速后悔、产生身体不适并仓皇逃离的循环过程。 subgraph SubstanceIntake["冲动尝试"] A["众人起哄 / 盲目跟风 ('你做我也做')"] --> B["摄入高刺激物 (6mg ZYN 尼古丁袋 / 摇头丸)"] end subgraph NegativeReaction["生理与心理反应"] B --> C["强烈不适迅速袭来 (神经刺痛、打嗝、心慌恐慌)"] C --> D["现场环境过度刺激 (无法忍受喋喋不休或身体反应)"] end subgraph RegretAndEscape["迅速后悔与逃离"] D --> E["当场认怂吐掉 / 连夜坐廉价巴士逃跑"] end ``` - Joe 提到市面上尼古丁袋规格各异（如 6 毫克、Lucy 的 9 毫克等），每天建议上限仅为 3 到 6 毫克，自己由于打猎练习、健身和录播时连续使用导致严重失眠。 - Shane 爆料 Mark 过去因害怕与 Big Jay 相处，在药效发作时乘 1 美元长途大巴从费城逃回纽约的荒诞往事。 --- ### [05:13](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=313s) 跨性别议题、WNBA 的争议与商业炒作 Mark 刚吐掉尼古丁袋缓过神来，话题便切入近期沸沸扬扬的 WNBA 话题。大家谈及前 NBA 球员埃内斯·坎特·弗里德姆（Enes Kanter Freedom）扬言要以跨性别女性身份加入 WNBA 的事件。Joe 认为坎特在节目（如《Triggernometry》）中的言论非常高明：坎特过去曾公开抨击勒布朗·詹姆斯的商业立场，也曾因反抗土耳其总统埃尔多安而遭家庭断绝关系，如今他以反讽姿态介入跨性别女子体育争议，实质上是用最极端荒诞的手段，揭露激进性别政策在体育竞技中的逻辑漏洞。随后众人探讨起法国女篮队伍中身体素质碾压对手的跨性别球员现象，以及当下 WNBA 的商业模式。长期以来，WNBA 赛事长期亏损、关注度惨淡；但随着凯特琳·克拉克（Caitlin Clark）等新生代球员崛起、场上激烈犯规和争议话题发酵，赛事门票与收视率一路飙升。大家讨论了阿贾·威尔逊（A'ja Wilson）等顶级球星的球技，一致认为尽管联盟基础薪水较低（普遍年薪仅几万至十几万美元），但凭借不断升温的争议热度、种族与性别议题的讨论，球员们正通过天价代言费和媒体曝光赚取远超以往的收益。 - 讨论了埃内斯·坎特·弗里德姆（Enes Kanter Freedom）反抗土耳其政权及公开叫板体育界双标的历史背景。 - 分析了 WNBA 近期从长期亏损到首次实现盈利的驱动因素：球星竞争、恶意犯规争议、场外身份政治与赞助代言热潮。 ### [08:17](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=497s) 80年代铁血篮球的回归与 WNBA 的独特赛场生态众人热烈讨论起 WNBA 赛场上愈演愈烈的身体对抗，直言比赛充斥着宛如“滑轮德比”（Roller Derby）般的狂野对抗，球员们在场上互不相让，甚至直接把对手往地板上砸。大家对这种凶悍的比赛风格反倒相当欣赏，认为这让人回想起充满肉搏的 1980 年代 NBA。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）与嘉宾们调侃道，现在的赛场就像拉里·伯德（Larry Bird）随时准备挥拳揍人，或者联盟里塞满了底特律活塞队“坏孩子军团”的比尔·兰比尔（Bill Laimbeer）。马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）甚至打趣说，当年退役兰比尔球衣时，球馆工作人员应该为了表示敬意，在引导观众入座时顺便给每个人一记阴招。查尔斯·奥克利（Charles Oakley）当年也是狠角色，被裁判拉开架势后直接在罚球线对对手叫嚣：“有种待会儿球场外见，咱们真刀真枪干一场。” 随着话题深入，众人聊到了 WNBA 内部独有的“性别与性取向生态”。他们设想如果 NBA 出现类似的动态会是怎样一番景象——如果大部分 NBA 球员都是身材极其魁梧、进攻性极强的同性恋黑人球员，而只剩下少数几个异性恋球员，场面势必彻底颠覆。在现今的 NBA 赛场上，几乎没有人会把心思放在球员的性取向或场下情爱上；但 WNBA 则聚集了大量公开出柜的球员。众人调侃某些直人女球员（如索菲·坎宁安 Sophie Cunningham）在场上被一众强势对手包围、被迫指手画脚自保的画面，甚至戏称直人球员在其中就像是某种“征服目标”，让联赛不仅有竞技成分，甚至带上了一种《绝望主妇》（Real Housewives）式的真人秀抓马色彩，观众很多时候就是为了看她们在场上激烈冲突。 - 比尔·兰比尔（Bill Laimbeer）与查尔斯·奥克利（Charles Oakley）成为 80 年代 NBA 铁血肉搏与场上私怨的典型代表。 - 史蒂芬·A·史密斯（Stephen A. Smith）曾在对比迈克尔·乔丹（Michael Jordan）时代与当今球星时，着重强调了当年防守肉搏的残酷程度以及对明星球员毫不手软的防守规则。 - 众人调侃现今 WNBA 兼具竞技肉搏与情感纠葛，宛如高强度真人秀。 --- ### [10:42](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=642s) 球员通道的“时装周”与意外发现的硬核亚文化谈到 NBA 球员在场外的形象，大家的话题顺势拐到了当今 NBA 著名的“球员入场走廊时尚秀”。如今球员在走进更衣室之前，通道几乎成了每天上演的“Met Gala（纽约大都会艺术博物馆慈善晚宴）”。大牌球星们身穿各式各样让人摸不着头脑的前卫高定服饰、宽檐礼帽甚至戴着奇特的面具，脚踩厚重夸张的鞋子。乔·罗根看着照片忍不住惊呼，拉里·伯德那个年代绝不可能穿成这样入场，现在的球员穿成这样“走楼梯踩空都要摔骨折”。 ```mermaid flowchart LR accTitle: NBA通道走秀与硬核亚文化对比 accDescr: 展现从正统体育走廊时尚走向小众硬核文化的荒诞话题发散 subgraph NBA["NBA 走廊秀"] A["球星通道入场"] --> B["前卫高定时装 / Met Gala 风格"] B --> C["巨额赞助与黑人流行文化"] end subgraph Underground["硬核亚文化发散"] D["Instagram 偶然推送"] --> E["'Comecore' 重型同志朋克"] E --> F["极端皮革重金属视觉与反差"] end NBA -. 话题跳跃.-> Underground ``` 随后，话题因魔术师约翰逊（Magic Johnson）的儿子以及德维恩·韦德（Dwyane Wade）等时尚前沿人物的着装进一步发散。乔·罗根突然分享起自己在 Instagram 上偶然刷到的一个名为“Comecore”的奇特页面，那是一种专门面向男同性恋群体的硬核摇滚音乐（Hardcore Punk）。视频中的主唱和乐手们赤裸上身、长满胸毛，戴着机车帽，身上挂着皮质乳头束带与下体护具（Jockstrap），唱着极其露骨狂躁的朋克音乐。众喜剧人借此大开玩笑，调侃这种充斥着粗粝硬汉风的皮革装扮才叫硬核，与 NBA 球员那种精致修饰的先锋时装完全是两码事。 --- ### [12:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=754s) 身份政治困局、染色体界限与录音室的垃圾桶插曲大家顺着同性恋爱与伴侣关系继续插科打诨。马克·诺曼德讲起喜剧圈的一个段子：有个帅气常出轨的同志，其伴侣唯一的底线就是“只要不在外面染上艾滋病（AIDS）带回家就行”，结果对方还厚脸皮回答“这我可保证不了”。众人感叹如今医学发达，有了 PrEP（暴露前预防用药），人们对艾滋病的恐惧大幅下降。随后讨论延伸至跨性别群体生理变化的探讨，包括跨性别男性长期大剂量注射睾酮导致不育，以及跨性别女性激素用药周期中的情绪波动与周期问题。正当谈论激素调节时，谢恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）猛然注意到身旁多出来的一个垃圾桶，瞬间意识到这是乔·罗根特意为他准备的，当场打趣道歉：“你特意放了个垃圾桶，说明你早就在琢磨这事了，我每次走都留一堆空饮料罐，真是抱歉。”罗根笑着安慰他“别放在心上，大哥”。回到正题，罗根情绪激动地批评起当前极端意识形态在性别定义上的困境。他认为许多激进派将自己逼入了死胡同： > “关键在于你能不能给‘女人’下一个明确的定义？如果你连女人都定义不了，那纯粹是在胡说八道。由于大家都害怕被公开网暴抵制（Cancel Culture），全社会只能顺着荒谬的逻辑妥协，把自己逼进了傻子一样的死角。” 罗根强调，体育竞技必须要有一套不可动摇的生物学客观标准——即 XX 与 XY 染色体。一个人无论在日常生活中如何自我认同都完全受尊重，但若想参加女子联赛，底线必须是具备 XX 染色体；而跨性别男性若想尝试挑战 NBA，由于男性赛场靠硬实力说话，从来没有人会去横加阻拦。 --- ### [15:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=915s) 体育记录的追溯难题、死名惩罚与逃离推特的精神解脱谈到体育界两党对该议题的态度，众人指出甚至连 AOC（亚历山大·奥卡西奥-科尔特斯）都在反思早期那种激进的“Woke 1.0”话术有多么荒谬，比如当年引发巨大民怨的“削减警察预算”（Defund the Police）。民调显示绝大多数温和派民主党人同样不赞同让跨性别女性参加传统女子竞技。紧接着，阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）提出了一个耐人寻味的假设：如果某位曾经在 WNBA 斩获无数荣誉的超级巨星退役后公开宣布自己“其实一直是男人”，体育界该如何处理其历史记录与名人堂地位？众人联想到奥运冠军凯特琳·詹纳（Caitlyn Jenner）在 1976 年以布鲁斯·詹纳（Bruce Jenner）的身份夺得十项全能金牌并登上家乐氏麦片（Wheaties）包装盒的往事，讨论起如今提及选手的曾用名（Deadnaming）在舆论场上的巨大禁忌。 - 讨论指出，在过去如果有人在社交平台上直呼跨性别者的旧名字（Deadnaming），往往会遭到推特（Twitter）永久封号的严厉惩罚。 - 喜剧人们调侃，被推特封号在某种意义上反而是因祸得福：“这就像强制让人戒掉海洛因一样，被封号的人精神健康状况肯定大幅好转，甚至可能因此多活好几年。” - 罗根与伙伴们总结道，海洛因至少吸的时候还能让人快乐，而刷推特却从来不会让人身心愉悦；不过在埃隆·马斯克接手推特之后，虽然争议不断，但整个平台的环境确实变得比以往更加狂野、更有看头。 ### [17:12](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1032s) 虚假新闻的流量变现与社交平台乱象几人探讨起社交媒体平台如今的混乱生态，形容现在的网络环境简直是“不折不扣的狂野西部”（full on wild west）。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）与大家聊到平台目前的收益结算机制：现在的平台为了整顿乱象，开始要求用户只有发布原创或经过核实的内容才能获得收益分成。此前，大量营销号和黑产完全靠捏造骇人听闻的假新闻来吸金，比如直接编造“肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）在酒吧连杀六人”这种离谱的标题。这类假新闻的运作套路非常简单：海外黑产公司利用程序批量生成成千上万、甚至数以百万计的虚假账号，然后炮制耸人听闻的假故事疯狂刷屏。当普通用户刷到这些推文时，往往会因为看到“60万播放量”就下意识地信以为真并点进去看，而发帖者则借由这些巨大的点击量赚得盆满钵满。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）借机调侃道，反正现在的正规新闻也都跟假新闻差不多，大家干脆借此机会彻底别再去关心新闻了，省得天天跟着心烦。 --- ### [19:29](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1169s) 巴塔哥尼亚山火谣言与营火争议话题顺势转到了社交媒体上铺天盖地的荒诞阴谋论。有人打趣地质问阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）：“你们以色列人在阿根廷干嘛呢？听说你们的人把阿根廷给点了，然后打算趁机霸占土地？”阿里则开玩笑回应自己的犹太同胞确实“酷爱点非法营火”。坊间有传言声称，有以色列游客在巴塔哥尼亚（Patagonia）引发了特大山火，随后阿根廷政府打算把烧毁的十万公顷土地直接割让给以色列。阿里回忆起自己当年在巴塔哥尼亚徒步的真实经历。他一路沿着国家公园向下走，沿途自己也生了不少营火。直到后来国家公园管理员明确警告“严禁在园内生火”，并告知这里的整片森林在七年前就因为游客生营火被彻底烧成平地，他才意识到事情的严重性。众人纷纷感叹，允许普通游客随意在干燥的森林里生火本身就是一件极其荒谬的事；以普通大众的粗心和愚蠢程度，现实中没有发生更多的森林火灾简直是个奇迹。 --- ### [21:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1274s) 加州山火与人为纵火众人随后将视线拉回美国本土的加州山火，聊起马里布（Malibu）和帕利塞兹（Pacific Palisades）的火灾是否为蓄意策划。乔·罗根明确指出那起案件是彻头彻尾的恶意纵火，纵火犯早已落网。据说该嫌疑人受到了“卢吉（Luigi）”某些极端言论的怂恿，眼红富人区豪宅而决定一把火将帕利塞兹烧个干净。令人触目惊心的是，在火势蔓延的混乱时刻，甚至还出现了群起纵火的失控场面。乔·罗根提到，安德鲁·休伯曼（Andrew Huberman）曾亲手在马里布拍下视频：画面里几个男子带着汽油桶、打火机和喷灯，趁乱四处点火煽动火势。众人讨论起这种行为究竟是有组织的阴谋还是纯粹的社会病态，罗根和肖恩认为，当城市默许大量精神异常者长期露宿街头、无所顾忌时，一旦秩序崩溃，这些人便会肆意烧毁一切，因为这对他们自身毫无损失，反而被视作一场肆无忌惮的发泄。 --- ### [22:18](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1338s) 事实核查：推特阴谋论与“以色列购地”假新闻回到阿根廷山火的传言，大家现场检索了官方调查信息以正视听。调查报告明确显示，阿根廷丘布特省（Chubut）的森林大火虽然疑似有人为蓄意纵火的痕迹，但检方根本没有锁定任何具体的纵火嫌疑人；网络上指责马普切原住民（Mapuche）或以色列游客纵火的言论均毫无事实根据，丘布特省首席检察官也已明确驳回了将以色列游客列为嫌疑对象的说法。然而，网络上的阴谋论依然在疯传。他们在社交平台 X 上翻出了一个拥有 76 万粉丝、认证为“Sam Yousef 博士”的推特账号。该账号发文宣称“阿根廷总统发言人泄露机密，曝光以色列接管阿根廷土地的计划”，并言之凿凿地声称阿根廷法律被篡改，原本受保护的自然林地只要经过大火焚烧，就可以合法出售给外国私人实体。推文里甚至配满了各种夸张的表情符号。众喜剧演员笑称，现在的假新闻只要塞几个 Emoji 表情就显得“十分可信”，这恰恰印证了此前讨论的海外水军账号靠炮制谎言赚取流量和收益的套路。 - 丘布特省检方调查结论：至少有一处起火点疑似人为蓄意纵火，但未确立任何具体嫌疑人。 - 官方辟谣：针对马普切社区和以色列游客纵火的指控均被检察官正式否认，认定为不可信线索。 - 假新闻传播机制：以“Shadow Intel X”或虚假高粉博士号为代表，利用碎片化假信息和推特长文变现。 --- ### [24:25](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1465s) 白宫简报室与川普草坪上的越野摩托秀话题从阿根廷官方新闻发言人那间酷似白宫的新闻发布厅，转到了几位嘉宾之前在白宫的荒诞经历。肖恩·吉利斯、马克·诺曼和克里斯·奥康纳（Chris O'Connor）回忆，他们之前在华盛顿特区闲逛时，碰巧通过肖恩一位供职于政府安全部门的朋友进了白宫。当时总统正好不在白宫内部，而是飞去迈阿密参加 UFC 的现场活动，连屋顶上的狙击手都不在岗。几个人索性溜进白宫新闻简报室的发言台上，煞有介事地过了一把开新闻发布会的瘾。随后，肖恩聊起自己曾纠结要不要参加川普在白宫南草坪举办的极限表演活动。肖恩表示，当时他在纽约喜剧地窖（Comedy Cellar）跟其他演员纠结了很久，反反复复答应又取消了足足四次，因为当时政治风向极其紧张，他极度害怕惹祸上身（"I don't want the heat"）。直到活动的最后前一天，他在沙发上刷到白宫前草坪上居然真的搭建了跳台、由特技演员驾驶越野摩托（dirt bikes）在半空腾空飞跃，他瞬间被这种魔幻的历史奇观所震撼，心想“这辈子大概只有这一次能在白宫看到越野摩托飞跃草坪了”，于是当即决定硬着头皮前往。虽然现场政治气氛微妙，但包括内特·巴加兹（Nate Bargatze）在内的所有人最终都在现场看得非常尽兴。 ### [26:03](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1563s) 白宫草坪格斗赛与盖奇的惊艳后空翻大家聊起了最近在白宫草坪举办的综合格斗赛事以及随之而来的舆论风波。尽管媒体连篇累牍地进行抨击、声称有抵制甚至退票，但事实是当事人的票房完全没受影响，照样场场爆满。众人吐槽媒体总是喜欢围攻任何与白宫沾边的人，而这终究只是一场体育比赛。聊到具体的对决时，大家对贾斯汀·盖奇（Justin Gaethje）赞不绝口。盖奇不仅打败了被公认为当今世界最佳 P4P 格斗手之一、技术顶尖的双手双量级世界冠军伊利亚·托普里亚（Ilia Topuria），而且还在全世界的注视下，在比赛结束时以后方白宫为背景，从八角笼顶端完成了一个震撼人心的后空翻，并稳稳落在笼子中央。现场还有特技越野摩托和战机编队低空飞越（flyover），场面极其壮观。大家都感叹这种场景在人类历史上恐怕绝无仅有，虽然有人打趣说当年西奥多·罗斯福总统可能也在草坪上打过架，但那都是陈年往事了。 - 针对左翼媒体声称比赛“亵渎白宫草坪”的批评，大家调侃拜登时期白宫草坪也搞过各种争议活动（例如跨性别活动人士在草坪上赤裸上身拍照发 Instagram），相比之下格斗比赛反而是视觉效果极佳且极具娱乐性的硬派活动。 - 战机编队低空掠过时两机之间的距离极近，视觉压迫感令人心惊肉跳。 --- ### [28:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1689s) 现场安保传闻与罗根的实地感受大家谈到了赛前传出的所谓复杂恐怖袭击阴谋——据称有人计划使用无人机携带炸弹，并有人在地面引流人群。然而众人嘲笑这种计划根本行不通，因为现场坐着的观众群体完全不是普通人：Shane Gillis 所在的那一排甚至坐了 10 位荣誉勋章（Medal of Honor）获得者，到处都是顶尖格斗选手和身经百战的军人，如果真有袭击者开枪，这帮人绝对会直接迎着枪口冲上去把对方踩死。此外，白宫屋顶上布满了狙击手，地面到处都是戒备森严的特勤人员。Joe Rogan 透露，自己最初其实非常排斥参与这场活动，觉得白宫草坪搞户外赛太像个混乱的“动物园”，万一下雨或气温过热对选手极为不利。直到前一天踩点彩排时收到现场视频，在朋友一顿“别当懦夫”的粗口激励下，他才决定赶去解说。当他与丹尼尔·科米尔（DC）以及乔恩·安尼克（Jon Anik）坐在白宫草坪前的主持台时，全员都被那份不可思议的历史性布景深深震撼。 --- ### [29:37](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1777s) 赛后采访风波：争议言论与格斗狂人的人设营销随后话题转向赛后采访引发的轩然大波。当胜者刚刚暴揍了德里克·刘易斯（Derrick Lewis）并在笼内发言时，该选手直接发表了针对前第一夫人米歇尔·奥巴马的争议性言论，令台下的 Shane Gillis 当场掩面觉得形象全毁、“正中反对者下怀”。TMZ 等八卦媒体随后堵住喝得微醺的 Shane 逼问看法。而面对外界质疑 Joe Rogan 在采访时为何不当面制止或反驳，Rogan 哭笑不得地解释道：对方是一个刚把刘易斯打得落花流水的重装格斗怪兽，自己若在台上回呛“嘿，别这么说”，恐怕瞬间就会被扔飞出去。而且该选手每次接受 Rogan 采访时几乎都会重复同样的荒诞言论。尽管言论极其粗鲁无礼，但从营销角度来看却异常奏效——相比于迭戈·洛佩斯（Diego Lopes）击倒史蒂夫·Garcia 这种局限于格斗圈的常规精彩瞬间，这位选手直接登上了全美所有主流新闻头条，宛如职业摔角中的“反派（heel）”，不仅让身价和出场费翻倍，也把自己彻底推成了引爆全网舆论的焦点。 --- ### [31:26](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=1886s) 回忆花花公子庄园格斗赛与豪宅沧桑这番白宫草坪之战让大家回想起了当年在休·海夫纳（Hugh Hefner）的“花花公子庄园”（Playboy Mansion）草坪上观看比赛的奇葩经历。当年可能是在 Strikeforce 甚至是更低级别的赛事时期，整场比赛业余而尴尬，观众席上的众人甚至看不太懂格斗。比赛进行到第五场时，年迈虚弱的海夫纳才在一群女伴的簇拥下一瘸一拐地走出来就座。大家回忆起花花公子庄园那种浓厚的时代脱节感：虽然声名在外，但内部设施早已老旧破败，假山石窟（grotto）里还装着老式的按键电话，到处弥漫着过气与凄凉。众人感慨海夫纳在“MeToo”运动爆发前去世真算死得其时，否则晚节必定不保。 ```mermaid flowchart LR accTitle: 豪宅文化变迁与记忆 accDescr: 从花花公子庄园的没落到被烘焙大亨收购的演变过程 subgraph MansionEra ["70-80年代全盛期"] direction TB A["名流汇聚的奢华庄园"] --> B["老旧过时的内饰设施\n(石窟按键电话/破损地胶)"] end subgraph ModernFate ["现代资本接盘"] direction TB C["原标价2亿美元\n(最终1亿美元成交)"] --> D["Hostess纸杯蛋糕大亨入主"] end MansionEra --> ModernFate ``` - 大家调侃好莱坞老派影星的豪宅往往都带着这种陈旧感，就像去拜访 80 年代巨星在马里布的住所，地板贴皮起翘破损，主人蓬头垢面且微醺；Shane 和 Mark Normand 提到去埃尔维斯·普雷斯利（猫王）的雅园故居参观时，当年装了 4 台电视可以看所有频道就被视为尖端奢华。 - 众人现场搜索得知，花花公子庄园最初挂牌价高达 2 亿美元，最终以 1 亿美元成交，买家是生产 Hostess 纸杯蛋糕的亿万富豪，大家戏谑该富豪买下这片位于布伦特伍德附近、需要摆渡车上山的黄金地皮后，大概会在满是历史痕迹的地板上四处游走。 ### [34:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2055s) 花花公子大厦的回忆与奇葩的售房协议大家聊起了当年去休·海夫纳（Hugh Hefner）的“花花公子大厦”（Playboy Mansion）的经历。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）回忆说，大厦里有一个巨大的鸟舍，里面养满了各种珍奇鸟类，当时他和朋友吃了大麻食品，整个人飘飘欲仙，甚至专门在庄园里散步看鹤。伙伴们打趣称，全世界恐怕只有罗根去花花公子大厦是为了“欣赏那些仙鹤”。这座庄园占地整整五英亩，地处洛杉矶顶级黄金地段，内设 12 间卧室和 21 间浴室。大家回忆起早年间前去看综合格斗比赛的场景，那时正是罗根主持《行运超人》（Fear Factor）的第一两年，终极格斗冠军赛（UFC）和《终极斗士》（The Ultimate Fighter）都还未真正走红，他们自嘲当时自己只是无名小卒，坐着摆渡车来去，纯粹是吃着大麻糖看比赛，现场根本没有外界想象中的活色生香。整个活动更像是一个极其正规的商务租赁场地，毫无派对狂欢的下流气息。随后话题延伸到加州大麻合法化初期的往事。罗根提到，当时娱乐用大麻尚未合法，必须持有医用处方执照，他们经常不得不专程开车去英格尔伍德（Englewood）的药房取药。然而由于银行系统认定大麻为毒品资金拒绝接收现金存款，药房囤积了大量现金，导致劫案频发。罗根常去的那家药房就发生了流血劫案，一名熟识的店员遭到枪击，他便不得不停止光顾。紧接着，众人翻看起当年花花公子大厦出售时的奇葩条款：大厦挂牌出售时附带了一个严格的前提条件，即买家必须允许当时 89 岁高龄的休·海夫纳继续在大厦里住到去世。伙伴们脑洞大开，调侃这简直就是“亿万富翁与海夫纳的古怪警察搭档情景喜剧”——一位垂死、身无分文却住着 21 间卧室超级豪宅的荒淫老人，与新房东共处一室，直到他咽下最后一口气。 - 花花公子大厦占地 5 英亩，拥有 12 间卧室、21 间浴室，坐拥洛杉矶最昂贵的地段之一。 - 海夫纳售房协议的核心前提：新房主必须允许年近九旬的海夫纳与其伴侣终身免费居住于大厦内。 - 早期加州医用大麻产业因缺乏联邦银行系统支持，全现金运营招致大量持枪抢劫。 --- ### [37:19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2239s) 拉里·飞利特遇刺案与低俗杂志的野蛮时代话题转向了成人娱乐业的另一位传奇大亨——《好色客》（Hustler）创办人拉里·飞利特（Larry Flynt）。众人回顾起讲述其传奇一生的传记电影《性书大亨》（The People vs. Larry Flynt），盛赞柯特妮·洛芙（Courtney Love）和诺姆·麦克唐纳（Norm Macdonald）在片中的演技。罗根提及飞利特当年遭遇刺杀导致终身瘫痪、不得不坐轮椅并使用假体泵度日的悲剧。飞利特虽被公认为美国宪法第一修正案与言论自由的坚定捍卫者，但《好色客》杂志刊登的内容极其粗鄙暴戾，充斥着毫无遮拦的种族主义低俗笑话和极度硬核的内容，与标榜“高雅生活方式”的《花花公子》形成鲜明对比。杰米（Young Jamie）在网上检索了刺杀拉里·飞利特的凶手背景。袭击发生在 1978 年乔治亚州的一处法院外，当时飞利特正因轻罪猥亵指控出庭，他在返回法院的人行道上遭步枪伏击，其辩护律师吉恩·里夫斯（Gene Reeves）也同选中弹。行凶者是一名极端的白人至上主义连环杀手约瑟夫·保罗·富兰克林（Joseph Paul Franklin），其杀人动机竟是因为无法容忍《好色客》杂志刊登了跨种族情色照片。在查阅网页时，屏幕上弹出的强制全屏广告引发了全场狂嘘与共鸣，痛斥这类打断阅读体验的流氓弹窗只会让人产生强烈的逆反心理，发誓这辈子也绝不购买其推广的产品。与此同时，现场有人因为尼古丁含片的后劲太强而浑身不适，直言那种坐立难安的感觉仿佛头顶浮现出电影《美丽心灵》（A Beautiful Mind）里密密麻麻乱飞的数字幻觉，只得寄希望于借酒精压制这股冲顶的晕眩感。 - 《好色客》杂志创始人拉里·飞利特于 2021 年去世，此前于 1978 年遭遇枪击导致下半身终身瘫痪。 - 刺杀飞利特的白人至上主义杀手约瑟夫·保罗·富兰克林因对跨种族照片怀恨在心而行凶，该凶手最终于 2013 年被执行死刑。 --- ### [39:52](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2392s) 肖恩的新欧米茄腕表与荒诞杀手案马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）注意到肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）摘掉了过去一直戴着的破旧天美时（Timex）铁皮表，手腕上赫然换上了一块精致的欧米茄（Omega）超霸系列（Speedmaster）。肖恩得意地透露，这是他去克利夫兰参加知名腕表 YouTuber 泰迪·巴尔达萨雷（Teddy Baldassarre）的节目时获赠的奖品——只要去上节目，嘉宾就可以在店里任选一块心仪的手表，此前伯特·克赖舍（Bert Kreischer）和汤姆·塞古拉（Tom Segura）也都曾参与录制并拿了表。罗根对欧米茄赞不绝口，亮出了妻子送给自己当生日礼物的同款超霸计时码表。罗根坦言欧米茄与精工（Seiko，特别是冠蓝狮 Grand Seiko）是他最推崇的品牌，机械自动机芯皮实耐操，甚至“在泥坑里摸爬滚打也绝不会出任何差错”。与此同时，大屏幕上显示出连环杀手约瑟夫·保罗·富兰克林的犯罪细节：他在 1978 至 1980 年间流窜全美 10 个州，抢劫银行维持生计，先后枪击了 22 人并谋杀了至少 16 人，专挑跨种族情侣下手。几位喜剧演员随即将话题带入黑色幽默，脑补了如果深夜被困在路边廉价汽车旅馆，不幸与这样一位疯狂的极端种族主义连环杀手独处一室的窒息画面。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 泰迪·巴尔达萨雷播客送表链条 accDescr: 喜剧演员受邀做客腕表节目并获得自选高档腕表的流程 subgraph Program["腕表节目访谈"] Host["泰迪·巴尔达萨雷 (Teddy Baldassarre)"] Guests["喜剧圈嘉宾 (伯特 / 汤姆 / 肖恩)"] Host -->|"做客节目邀请"| Guests end subgraph Reward["自选高档名表"] Guests -->|"录制完成任选心仪表款"| Choice["腕表挑选"] Choice -->|"肖恩·吉利斯选择"| Watch["欧米茄超霸系列 (Omega Speedmaster)"] end ``` --- ### [42:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2520s) 纸媒色情时代终结与当年的审查红线众人感叹实体成人杂志在当今互联网免费成人内容和 OnlyFans 的冲击下已彻底走向灭亡。罗根回忆起自己童年时期的杂志审查法规：在早期的成人出版物中，法律严格禁止展现任何形式的勃起状态，即便拍摄到了男性器官，也必须处于完全疲软的状态。这一规定引来伙伴们的一阵戏谑，称这种禁令简直是“专为保护男同胞脆弱自尊心而设”。罗根与马克对比了当年各大刊物的尺度分野。相较于《花花公子》朦胧优雅、以阴毛作为最高尺度而绝不探入私密细节的“体面”风格，《好色客》从创刊起就彻底抛弃了伪善。在《好色客》的特写镜头里，模特彻底大敞四开，摄影师甚至会用喷壶向模特身上喷洒水雾营造出反光湿润的视觉冲击，连脚底沾着的泥灰都一览无余，其夸张张开的特写镜头被众人打趣形容为“铁血战士（Predator）裂开的血盆大口”。童年时代在小树林深处翻找被遗弃的湿损黄色杂志，成为了那一代男孩子共同的成长印记。 ### [42:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2576s) 80年代成人杂志的审查怪象与社会风气的变迁乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）回忆起少年时期翻看过的成人杂志（如《Guys and Girls》）。他提到其中一篇让人啼笑皆非的图文故事：男主角设定是一名男妓，前往豪宅为一位富婆提供服务，照片里两人很快在浴室洗手台上亲热起来，然而一到关键画面，男演员的下体却完全是疲软的，罗根形容那看起来就像“刚从湖里捞上来的溺水遇难者遗体一样”。当时年少的罗根大惑不解，心想这人明明就在绝色美女身边，为什么完全硬不起来。这种反常现象实际上是当时审查制度的产物。在20世纪80年代，虽然家用VHS录像带已经开始普及并能看到真实的成人影片，但平面杂志却依然受严格法规约束，被严禁出现男性勃起画面。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）戏谑地调侃审查者的逻辑：“勃起具有侵略性和压迫感，像要从画面里冲出来；而疲软的状态则显得温和、内敛、没有攻击性。”这种荒诞的规则让全场感慨过去几十年社会道德风气的严苛。罗根联想到20世纪60年代喜剧演员莱尼·布鲁斯（Lenny Bruce）仅仅因为在舞台上说了粗话（如说出俚语“cock”）就当场被警察逮捕，当时的淫秽法严格到讲几个脏字就会坐牢。谢恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）在一旁开玩笑吐槽，说既然如此干脆全面推行清真律法（Sharia law）把所有男人的勃起都禁掉算了。 ### [45:08](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2708s) 州际禁令与阿里·沙菲尔的“装外宾”翻车现场话题随后转向美国部分保守州目前推行的网络色情限制政策。如今许多红州强制要求访问成人网站必须验证真实身份ID，甚至使用常规VPN都会受阻，导致不少人调侃成人实体杂志正在卷土重来，仿佛划出了新的“梅森-迪克森线”（Mason-Dixon line）。罗根进一步将此与得克萨斯州对THC及大麻的严管联系起来，他严肃指出得州当局完全没意识到这种禁令的政治后果：年轻人非常清楚大麻并不致命，如果政府执意剥夺年轻人吸大麻的自由，只会激怒年轻选民，最终彻底把得州“搞砸并逼成蓝州”。听到这里，阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）冷不丁问了一句：“哪边是蓝色来着？”罗根向他解释蓝色代表民主党、红色代表共和党后，全场立刻对阿里的“装傻”展开无情围攻。谢恩和马克毫不留情地揭穿阿里是因为近期常待在英国伦敦，就故意装出一副不懂美国政治常识的外宾模样。大家纷纷嘲讽他就像亚历克·鲍德温（Alec Baldwin）那位明明来自波士顿却多年假装西班牙人、在镜头前装作想不起黄瓜英文怎么说（"how you say cucumber?"）的妻子希拉里亚·鲍德温（Hilaria Baldwin）。谢恩大声抗议道：“这混蛋明明刚离开美国没几天，现在居然装得好像马上要坐下来喝英式下午茶一样！” ### [46:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2798s) 政治人物的“语码转换”与令人费解的英国口音众人顺势聊起了某些公众人物为了迎合受众而极其夸张的“语码转换”（Code Switching）现象。谢恩提到厄瓜多尔曾有一位角逐土著政党选票的候选人，五年前还是个西装革履的商务精英，五年后摇身一变成了扎着印第安长辫的本土代言人；紧接着他们找出了米拉·奈尔（Mira Nair）的儿子佐兰·马姆达尼（Zohran Mamdani）早期在电影《卡特韦女王》（Queen of Katwe）担任音乐总监时的采访音频。音频中，如今操着一口流利地道美式英语的马姆达尼，当年却操着浓重的乌干达口音一本正经地受访，引得大家哄堂大笑，直呼这变脸速度简直是反社会人格级别的演技。从口音的伪装，罗根又将话题引回了真正的英国口音。他坦言自己一直无法理解曼彻斯特或利物浦等地的口音，每次听都像在听天书。罗根还指出一个有趣的现象：当年披头士乐队（The Beatles）明明是利物浦人，但他们唱歌时完全不会带这种浓重的方言口音，说明说话人完全有能力清晰发音。他在UFC赛后采访来自利物浦的选手帕迪·平布莱特（Paddy Pimblett）时，也常常觉得对方的利物浦俚语快得让人摸不着头脑。 ### [48:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=2918s) 帕迪·平布莱特的八角笼反差魅力与惊艳降服谈到帕迪·平布莱特，罗根瞬间进入了格斗解说员的专业兴奋状态。他高度赞叹了帕迪在八角笼内的统治级表现，特别是他在比赛首回合抓住对手抱摔企图直接以断头台和达斯绞/三角绞降服对手的精彩瞬间，称其可能是综合格斗历史上最赏心悦目的终结之一。罗根重点剖析了帕迪身上那种罕见的人格反差与赛场魔力： - **极致的反差开关**：出场时帕迪伴随着《Where's Your Head At》的狂暴电音一路蹦跳热舞，满脸笑容像在参加派对，现场成千上万名戴着标志性金色蘑菇头假发的观众也跟着举起双臂疯狂摇摆；然而一旦铁笼门关上，他会瞬间“切换开关”，整张脸迅速转为冷酷严肃、毫无笑意的杀手状态。 - **惊人的休赛期体重膨胀**：谢恩和马克提到帕迪在两场比赛的休赛期里经常暴饮暴食增重多达60磅，整个人吹气球般发福，形象转变堪比当年在两场大赛间期迅速发胖的英国传奇拳王里奇·哈顿（Ricky Hatton）或是NBA球星詹姆斯·哈登（James Harden）。 - **极具欺骗性的骨架与力量**：罗根指出帕迪的身材具有极强的迷惑性。虽然平时看起来嘻嘻哈哈，但他身高近5英尺11英寸（约180厘米），背部极其厚实宽阔。一旦他将双臂扣住对手的颈部并用双腿完成缠绕翻滚，其惊人的挤压绞杀力让任何人都不可能脱身。针对外界期待的帕迪与伊利亚·托普里亚（Ilia Topuria）的恩怨对决，罗根强调托普里亚在体格骨架上明显比帕迪小了整整一圈。 ### [51:53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3113s) 帕迪·平布莱特的“帕迪锁”与降服力学深度拆解四人聚精会神地重温帕迪·平布莱特（Paddy Pimblett）在 UFC 赛场上绞晕鲍比·格林（Bobby Green，现改名金·格林 King Green）的经典比赛画面。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）以深厚柔术功底对该降服技巧进行了极其详尽的解剖：整套动作不仅结合了类似全封闭防守（full guard）的下肢控制，还融入了秘鲁领带绞（Peruvian Necktie）与达斯绞（D'Arce choke）的力学原理。帕迪用右脚向前紧紧卡住对手的手臂，左脚则重重下压对手背部，双手扣死裸绞（RNC）式的紧锁结构，将上肢、下肢和核心背部的力量融为一体，形成无法抗拒的死亡压力。对手试图通过翻滚脱身，但这完全落入了帕迪的算计之中。帕迪顺着对方的翻滚借力，瞬间借势骑上高位施加极其沉重的压迫力，硬生生将格林勒至晕厥。罗根惊叹这种降服技巧在顶级格斗界前所未见，普通达斯绞通常只是勾住对方一条腿并顺势收紧，而帕迪却完全翻越到背上方将整个人锁死。随后，这种招式在格斗圈掀起狂潮，甚至被其他新生代选手效仿。关于命名，大家讨论称其为“帕迪锁”（Padlock）或“帕泰绞”（Pad Thai），后来得知帕迪自己公开认领了“Pad Thai”这一趣味名称。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 帕迪锁（Pad Thai）降服技术动作拆解 accDescr: 展现帕迪如何利用四肢配合将对手彻底锁死并借力翻滚将其勒至晕厥的过程。 subgraph Control["下肢与核心控制"] A["右脚紧扣对手肘窝/二头肌"] B["左脚向下死压对手背部"] end subgraph UpperChoke["上肢绞杀机制"] C["手臂锁入裸绞式深抓把"] D["融合达斯绞与秘鲁领带绞力学"] end subgraph Execution["顺势翻滚与降服结果"] E["对手试图翻滚逃脱"] F["帕迪顺势翻滚借力抢占上位压制"] G["全身合力绞杀，直接勒至晕厥"] end A --> E B --> E C --> E D --> E E --> F F --> G ``` - **力学核心细节**：帕迪的右脚精准卡在对手左臂二头肌与肘窝内侧，封死对手抽手破锁的可能；防守方仅剩一只右手，根本无法抗衡施绞者双臂加单腿的合力压制。 - **喜剧调侃**：马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）和肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）在一旁打趣道，警察应该好好学学这招，直接把嫌疑人锁进“帕迪锁”，但随后又调侃道：“警察一般更喜欢直接掏枪，毕竟戴着执法记录仪开枪快多了。” --- ### [55:53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3353s) 埃迪·布拉沃的荒诞招式名与“犹太爪” 话题随后转向巴西柔术怪才埃迪·布拉沃（Eddie Bravo）那些奇葩的招式命名。阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）提到埃迪曾发明过一招并当面征询意见，最终竟然命名为“犹太爪”（Jew Claw，阿里打趣称“就像伸手偷钱”）。埃迪向来喜欢这类标新立异、甚至带有冒犯意味的名称，比如当年在给动作起名时甚至考虑过拼写变化来规避敏感，结果大家笑称这简直是“史上最糟糕的超级英雄，一个缺了条胳膊的家伙”。罗根回忆起自己当年在 Fox 体育台担任 UFC 现场解说的一段尴尬往事：当时场上有一位埃迪·布拉沃的弟子登场比赛，在地面战中频繁使出埃迪标志性的“瘾君子控制”（Crackhead Control）。在全美主流主流公共电视网的现场直播镜头前，罗根只能硬着头皮对着数百万观众认真科普：“各位观众，这个姿势真的就叫做‘瘾君子控制’，可不是我给它起的名字！” --- ### [56:55](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3415s) 早期 UFC 的犹太格斗家与无限制血战史大家开始好奇综合格斗历史上是否有知名的犹太格斗选手。罗根指出早期 UFC 确实有，其中最具代表性的是莫蒂·霍伦斯坦（Moti Horenstein）。霍伦斯坦拥有以色列特种部队背景，精通以色列格斗术（Krav Maga，肖恩·吉利斯借谐音恶搞为“最初的 MAGA”）与空手道体系。然而，在早期的无限制格斗年代，这种偏向站立打击与传统武术的打法面对体型庞大的纯摔跤手完全无计可施。众人调出早期比赛录像，画面正是 UFC 14 中莫蒂·霍伦斯坦对阵著名的“粉碎机”马克·克尔（Mark Kerr）。画面中，身穿道服的霍伦斯坦体格明显矮小单薄，而正值巅峰状态的马克·克尔体型大如怪兽。 - **道服的致命弱点**：罗根指出霍伦斯坦穿着宽松道服上场无异于自杀，道服提供了无数个着力点与抓把空间，摔跤手能极其轻松地将其按倒并彻底控制。 - **时代的药物泛滥**：罗根直言马克·克尔在那个无药检时代注射了所有能弄到的合成类固醇，“全是只有在墨西哥才能买到的猛药”，但其实单凭体型和摔跤技巧对付霍伦斯坦就早已绰绰有余。 --- ### [58:40](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3520s) 洛杉矶圣地回忆与罗根早年在 UFC 的打工秘史聊到格斗家与拳馆时，众人顺带提到了踢拳传奇“喷气机”本尼·乌尔奎德斯（Benny "The Jet" Urquidez）。罗根动情地回忆道，他在 1994 年刚搬到洛杉矶时，心中只有两座圣殿（Mecca）：一座是孕育了无数单口喜剧巨星的喜剧工坊（The Comedy Store），另一座则是位于范奈斯（Van Nuys）、由本尼开设的“喷气机格斗中心”（The Jet Center）。随后，关于当年在 UFC 的待遇，罗根讲述了鲜为人知的白工经历： - **UFC 早期**：罗根担任后台采访与部分工作时是有正式薪酬的。 - **白大拿接手初期**：在 Zuffa 收购 UFC 后，赛事处于极度烧钱与严重亏损的状态（"hemorrhaging money"）。白大拿（Dana White）利用两人的私交，找准机会忽悠罗根。 - **被忽悠做免费解说**：当时 UFC 联合《史上最佳体育秀》（The Best Damn Sports Show Period）在 Fox 举办了一期特别赛事 UFC 37.5（汤姆·阿诺德 Tom Arnold 与布罗迪·史蒂文斯 Brody Stevens 等人均有参与）。白大拿游说罗根：“看在朋友面子上帮我个忙，就上一期解说，毕竟有《行运大兵/勇敢者的游戏》（Fear Factor）的名人光环，对我们帮助很大。” - **连做 15 场免费义工**：罗根答应了那一场之后，便被白大拿彻底套牢，接二连三地继续解说，不知不觉竟然免费打了多达 15 场 UFC 赛事的解说白工。不过罗根最后笑着补充，白大拿后来还是送了他一块非常不错的劳力士手表作为补偿。片段末尾，大家还怀念起早年火爆一时的“名人拳击赛”（Celebrity Boxing），并认为如今依然很有市场价值。 ### [01:01:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3664s) 名人拳击的荒谬名场面：Tonya Harding 对决 Doug Stanhope 几人回忆起早年间各种离谱的名人拳击比赛。Joe Rogan 提到了当年在节目《The Man Show》中安排的一场荒诞对决——臭名昭著的花样滑冰选手 Tonya Harding 对阵喜剧演员 Doug Stanhope。Stanhope 表现得非常有风度，在台上明显有所保留，甚至在各回合间隙一边抽烟一边喝啤酒。当时的擂台极其狭小，场面滑稽至极。大家打趣这场比赛没有真正的赢家，最终是“粉丝赢了，但所有人也都输了，包括全美观众”。 - **对决背景**：《The Man Show》特别策划，Tonya Harding 对阵喜剧演员 Doug Stanhope。 - **名场面**：Stanhope 在回合休息时抽烟喝啤酒，由于擂台尺寸过小，整场比赛充满荒诞喜剧色彩。 --- ### [01:02:02](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3722s) 惨烈的体型差距：Aaron Carter 对阵 Lamar Odom 与过气名人的悲凉话题随即转向了那些令人心酸的名人拳击赛。大家提到了此前不幸离世的歌手 Aaron Carter 与前 NBA 球星 Lamar Odom 的跨界对决。两人的体型差距大得离谱：Odom 身高将近 6 英尺 10 英寸（约 208 cm），体重更比 Carter 重了整整 80 磅左右。Carter 满脸刺青且身陷药物问题，在台上就像一个十三岁小孩在挨职业拳手的毒打，虽然硬撑到了第二回合，但整场比赛完全是一边倒的殴打。众人感慨，许多名人拳击或扇耳光比赛（Slap Fighting）背后是过气名人的绝望挣扎——为了仅仅一两万美元的报酬，以及对重获关注的极度渴望，他们不得不将自己的尊严和健康置于险境。他们还联想到经典喜剧电影《Dirty Work》中 Gary Coleman 挨揍的桥段，以及 Coleman 晚年在商场做安保时被路人当众围观取笑的真实遭遇：当一个人从名声顶峰跌落谷底时，大众往往不仅缺乏同情，反而乐于看其出丑。 - **体格悬殊**：Lamar Odom 面对体型单薄且神志恍惚的 Aaron Carter，体重差距达到约 80 磅。 - **过气名人的悲歌**：类似赛事往往仅给选手提供极低的酬金（如扇耳光比赛可能仅 18,000 美元），成为过气明星为了曝光与生计的残酷选择。 --- ### [01:04:27](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3867s) 扇耳光纠纷与街头对决：Luis J. Gomez 的尴尬战绩 Mark Normand 和 Shane Gillis 聊起了播客《Legion of Skanks》圈子里的搞笑格斗插曲。此前 Jeremiah Watkins 与 Luis J. Gomez 进行过一场扇耳光比赛，看似瘦弱的 Jeremiah 频频命中，而输不起的 Luis 甚至开始犯规往对方身上打真实的身体重拳。此外，大家还爆料了 Luis 在纽约传奇喜剧俱乐部 The Creek and The Cave 门口的一场街头冲突：当时一个流浪汉对着 Luis 挑衅互喷，两人摆好架势正准备单挑，结果流浪汉猝不及防踢出一记干净利落的泰拳低扫腿（Muay Thai leg kick），紧接着补上第二腿。Luis 当场被踢懵，立刻伸手认怂求和：“行了行了，我们没事了。”这番糗事引得全场哄堂大笑。随后众人还顺带吐槽了网红 Perez Hilton 等人靠自残和各种抓马博眼球甚至碰瓷起诉的恶劣炒作。 --- ### [01:06:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=3994s) Ari Shaffir 英国租房受阻与奥斯汀的一年免租邀请 Shane Gillis 调侃自己如今已是顶级专场巡演的头牌（“镇上来了新警长”），随后众人询问目前身在英国的 Ari Shaffir 现状如何。Ari 大倒苦水，直言英国的官僚体系和租房规定对移民极其苛刻——当地租房政策要求必须出示长达 3 年的英国本地租房记录，这导致他两个月来被连续拒绝了 7 次，至今居无定所。几位好友借机纷纷劝 Ari 彻底放弃英国搬回美国得州奥斯汀。Joe Rogan 当场极为豪爽地伸出援手，表示自己在奥斯汀有一套带门禁安保的高档两居室公寓闲置，只要 Ari 肯搬过来，他愿意直接提供整整一年的免费住宿（"one year for free"）。Mark 和 Shane 边起哄边开玩笑，劝他不要在英国自讨苦吃，赶紧回奥斯汀和大家团聚。 - **英国租房门槛**：必须提供 3 年本地租房记录，Ari 找房两个月内接连被房东拒绝了 7 次。 - **Rogan 的承诺**：在奥斯汀为 Ari 提供一套带门禁安保的两居室公寓，免房租居住一年。 ### [01:08:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4121s) 阿里移居英国的租房难题与回美诱惑众人围绕阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）移居英国伦敦的决定展开了一番调侃与挽留。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）大方地向阿里抛出橄榄枝，表示自己在高楼的39层拥有一套视野极佳的房产，并豪气地承诺：“我给你免一年房租。”罗根极力劝说阿里留在美国，建议他在奥斯汀的“喜剧母舰”（Comedy Mothership）俱乐部开辟每周专场，直接拿走门票收入的80%，再配合全美巡演，绝对能赚得盆满钵满。面对这份诱人提议，其他人打趣罗根为何不在阿里办完所有繁琐手续前早点提出来，罗根坦言自己原本以为阿里只是说说而已，绝不可能真的搬去英国。阿里则倒起了在英国租房的苦水。作为一名没有固定雇主、收入来自美国的自由职业者，他在英国租房市场上屡屡碰壁，连续被七套公寓拒之门外，当地中介和房东根本不信任他的资金来源。为了租到房子，他甚至不得不找英国喜剧演员弗朗西斯·福斯特（Francis Foster）担任担保人，结果中介还质疑他的财务状况，让他哭笑不得。当被问及为何不直接让中介在 Google 上搜索自己的 Netflix 专场时，阿里自嘲这招完全不灵，对方甚至可能先搜到了他早年极具争议的恶搞视频。不过，阿里也提到英国著名喜剧演员吉米·卡尔（Jimmy Carr）人非常仗义，特意为他写了签证推荐信。现场好友们接着拿英国反串喜剧演员埃迪·伊扎德（Eddie Izzard）开涮，调侃阿里不如去跟伊扎德同住，阿里随即借梗反击称自己需要足够的“衣柜空间”，引来一阵关于出柜与女装的爆笑互损。 --- ### [01:10:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4230s) 英国言论环境、德比发音争论与尼古丁后劲话题很快转向英国的现实环境与文化差异。罗根和肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）毫不客气地警告阿里，英国如今对言论的管控极为严苛，以阿里肆无忌惮、满嘴跑火车的舞台风格，搞不好几天内就会被当地警方送进监狱。阿里对此不以为然，笑称自己早就习惯了顶风作案，还声称自己刚写了一套关于穆斯林女性司机的辛辣新段子。席间马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）要了瓶清爽的淡色啤酒，试图避开高热量的 IPA，而现场关于英式足球的闲聊则迅速引爆了一场语言学争执。阿里提到自己买了托特纳姆热刺的球票，并邀请大家12月去英国看曼联的比赛，结果双方因为英超同城“德比”（Derby）的发音杠了起来。阿里坚称在英国这叫“Darby”（达比），而罗根则认为阿里刚才明明念成了美式的“Derby”，两人甚至叫嚷着要调取录音回放。罗根试图以“退一步海阔天空”的姿态息事宁人，反被众人吐槽他是在强行掩盖自己的失误。就在争论不休时，前一小时被大剂量尼古丁袋整得神魂颠倒的肖恩终于缓过神来，他心有余悸地表示那股尼古丁冲击让他双腿抽搐、大脑完全宕机，仿佛整个人神游到了伦敦，昨晚连吞20个尼古丁袋后躺在床上失眠的惨痛经历至今仍让他心惊肉跳。 --- ### [01:12:29](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4349s) 安妮·雅各布森的核战与生化武器噩梦肖恩借着自己深夜失眠的经历，聊到了调查记者安妮·雅各布森（Annie Jacobsen）所写的畅销纪实作品《核战：一种推演场景》（Nuclear War: A Scenario）。他直言这是自己读过最恐怖的书，每晚听着有声书入睡都会被吓出一身冷汗；而雅各布森关于生化战争的内容更是令人毛骨悚然，揭示了现代技术摧毁整个人类社会是多么轻而易举。罗根随即接话，指出全球许多前沿实验室打着“防患于未然”的旗号进行病毒的功能获得性研究（Gain-of-function），实际上却在使用纳税人的钱制造传播力更强、致命率更高的潜在生物战武器。罗根还分享了一个骇人听闻的冷战生化武器构想： ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 基因改造腺鼠疫传播机制 accDescr: 展示苏联基因改造鼠疫病毒在感染初期产生欣快感从而加速病毒在人群中传播的过程。 subgraph 感染初期阶段["感染前 24 小时：人为诱导狂欢"] A["致命鼠疫杆菌 拼接欣快感诱导基因"] --> B["宿主感染后产生极度亢奋 （类摇头丸 Ecstasy 效应）"] B --> C["主动社交、涌入酒吧、 聚会热舞并向熟人推介新习惯"] end subgraph 致命爆发阶段["感染后期：全面致命"] C --> D["人群密集接触 病原体呈指数级超级传播"] D --> E["欣快期结束，致命病症爆发 （致死率高达 100%）"] end ``` 根据罗根的讲述，苏联曾对腺鼠疫进行基因改造，在其中拼接了能在感染初期诱发极度欣快感（类似服用摇头丸）的物质。被感染者在潜伏的前24小时内不仅不会察觉患病，反而会感到精力充沛、极度渴望出门社交聚会，在酒吧和舞池中狂欢并四处拉人畅谈，从而在毫无防备的情况下将致死率高达100%的烈性病原体呈指数级扩散出去。众人听后纷纷感叹这种设计既是“天才构想”，又是无可救药的纯粹邪恶，参与此类研发的始作俑者应当被严惩。 --- ### [01:14:35](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4475s) 福奇争议、疫苗疑云与历史旧账随后，罗根将矛头直指前美国国家过敏和传染病研究所所长副安东尼·福奇（Anthony Fauci）。罗根情绪激动地声称，根据披露的内部私人短信，福奇早知晓某些人群在接种疫苗后可能引发细胞因子风暴（cytokine storm），并存在导致孕妇流产的潜在关联，但在公开场合却依然不遗余力地向孕妇群体推广疫苗接种，甚至涉嫌隐瞒相关不良反应数据。罗根提到网传早期妊娠流产率的相关争议数据，并严肃表示，仅在自己的现实社交圈子里，就有五位在疫情期间怀孕并接种疫苗的女性不幸流产。肖恩则在一旁用黑色幽默插话，调侃如果换作自己把女孩肚子搞大，为了所谓的“安全”，一定会逼着对方把莫德纳（Moderna）和辉瑞打个遍，引发众人苦笑。随后屏幕上调出了相关医学统计资料，显示在孕6至20周期间接种 mRNA 疫苗后的累积流产率为 10.8%。罗根看着在座同样为人父母的马克·诺曼直言，孩子是父母生命中最珍视的存在，如果任何一种药物有一成的几率导致胎儿不保，绝不可能有家长愿意主动去冒这个险。罗根最后怒斥那些将福奇奉为“医疗英雄”的人健忘且无知，痛陈福奇在20世纪80年代应对艾滋病（AIDS）危机以及推广早期药物齐多夫定（AZT）期间的表现同样劣迹斑斑，本质上是一个毫无同理心的官僚怪兽。 - **流产率参考数据**：现场调取资料显示，孕6至20周接种 mRNA 疫苗后的累积流产率约为 10.8%。 - **核心争议指控**：罗根指责公共卫生官员在明知细胞因子风暴风险的情况下，仍公开发表与私下担忧相悖的绝对安全背书。 - **历史争议追溯**：讨论延伸至福奇在20世纪80年代主导美国艾滋病应对政策及 AZT 临床试验时的长期争议。 ### [01:16:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4598s) 孕期疫苗争议与对福奇的抨击乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）与全场嘉宾探讨了健康人群抵抗新冠的高存活率，指出身体健康者的存活概率高达“99.9999%”，然而公共卫生官员却四处建议孕妇接种疫苗。罗根提及一项在 2021 年初引发争议的孕期登记报告，据称数据显示在孕早期接种的孕妇流产率高达 81% 至 82%。尽管官方和主流舆论将该说法定性为对早期登记数据的误读（即很多人是在孕晚期才接种，不能直接剔除分母），但罗根指出，包括斯坦福大学教授杰伊·巴塔查亚（Jay Bhattacharya）在内的一众严肃学者曾公开发表讨论，指责安东尼·福奇（Anthony Fauci）等人明知孕早期可能存在流产风险，却依然在电视上全力推销疫苗。罗根愤怒地抨击：“他们当时就只是在卖疫苗，在害死人。” 随后，话题转向福奇被曝光撰写日记的事情，引发众人嘲讽。阿兰·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）和马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）挖苦道，一个八十岁的老头在赛车梦日记本里写日记简直不可思议，假想福奇在里面写下“今天珍妮弗·安妮斯顿夸我很可爱”、“朱莉娅·罗伯茨叫我英雄”。罗根直接断言福奇“是个地地道道的疯子”。 - 罗根引述网络讨论指出，杰伊·巴塔查亚等医学界人士认为孕早期疫苗与流产风险存在实质关联，绝非空穴来风的阴谋论者言论。 - 众人对福奇在晚年还煞有介事地写私人日记感到荒谬滑稽，吐槽其自恋与自我膨胀的心态。 --- ### [01:18:16](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4696s) AZT药物历史、PCR检测漏洞与福奇对质假想罗根回顾了 20 世纪 80 年代艾滋病流行时期的黑历史，指出当时福奇力推的齐多夫定（AZT）原本是一种被停用的化疗药物，因为其毒性甚至比癌症更快致命，但由于已经通过了 FDA 审批，便被“超说明书使用”（off-label use）大规模用在艾滋病患者身上。罗根指出，当时许多没有任何症状的阳性患者（包括网球巨星阿瑟·阿什，Arthur Ashe）在服用 AZT 仅仅六个月后便不幸离世。诺曼中途误以为芭蕾舞大师米哈伊尔·巴里什尼科夫（Mikhail Baryshnikov）也因艾滋病去世，但随即查明巴里什尼科夫至今依然在世，众人猜测他可能记混了另一位知名舞者（如鲁道夫·纽瑞耶夫）。罗根进一步将当年的 HIV 检测与新冠大流行挂钩，指责两者都滥用了 PCR 检测技术。他提到 PCR 技术的发明者凯利·穆利斯（Kary Mullis）生前曾明确强调，PCR 绝不能用来诊断活跃的病毒感染；只要把扩增循环数调得足够高，什么微小物质都能被检出，导致出现超过 80% 的假阳性。嘉宾们调侃要是真请福奇上播客，福奇肯定会对一切问题行使宪法第五修正案的沉默权，连被问到“你的领带是什么颜色”都会机械回答“我尊重地拒绝回答”。 - 罗根批评 80 年代给无症状 HIV 阳性患者滥用毒性极强的 AZT，认为这是医药利益驱动的历史重演。 - 穆利斯对 PCR 滥用的警告被罗根拿来印证新冠期间核酸检测假阳性率虚高的问题。 --- ### [01:20:08](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4808s) 自动签名特赦风波、政客腐败与特赦博弈谈话切入特赦与总统权力问题。罗根提到拜登在大规模离任特赦时大量使用了自动签名笔（Autopen），而特朗普在 Truth Social 上声称要推翻所有通过自动签名笔签署的特赦令，使其全部无效。虽然有报道称特朗普曾表态尊重拜登对福奇为期十年的先发制人特赦，但罗根分析了背后的政治潜规则：如果特朗普一旦打破先例推翻前任特赦，等他卸任时，除非共和党继任者（如 JD·万斯，JD Vance 或马尔科·卢比奥，Marco Rubio）在 2028 年当选，否则民主党新政府（例如宾夕法尼亚州长乔希·夏皮罗，Josh Shapiro 等人）必定会对特朗普家族发起司法清算。罗根与沙恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）指出，历任政府从来不会真正以战争罪或腐败罪互相清算，就是因为“人人屁股都不干净”。罗根感叹本届政府干了许多前所未见的荒唐事，最典型的是加密货币领域的暴利；特朗普和他的儿子们通过各种商业交易赚得盆满钵满，政商勾结到处都是，每个人卸任前都需要赦免条款来自保。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 政治特赦与司法报复的博弈循环 accDescr: 展示总统若推翻前任特赦可能带来的两党司法清算连锁反应 subgraph 特朗普的特赦博弈 A["特朗普声称自动笔特赦无效"] --> B{"是否真正推翻拜登特赦？"} B -- "推翻特赦" --> C["打破政治默契与司法赦免惯例"] B -- "维持现状" --> D["维持两党互不清算的潜规则"] end subgraph 2028大选与未来走向 C --> E{"2028年大选结果"} E -- "共和党获胜 (Vance / Rubio)" --> F["获得庇护，免受清算"] E -- "民主党获胜 (如 Josh Shapiro)" --> G["特朗普家族及团队面临商业/加密货币司法调查"] end ``` - 拜登对福奇提供了覆盖长达十年的宽泛特赦，防止其在离任后遭到追责。 - 众人一致认为白宫与华盛顿高层的商业交易水极深，若认真彻查，许多人都要面临牢狱之灾。 --- ### [01:23:08](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=4988s) 白宫派对旧事、与特朗普合影的回忆聊到白宫和权贵关系，话题转到了众人此前的经历。吉利斯和沙菲尔提起两周前他们受邀前往白宫的尴尬插曲。沙菲尔坦白当时有人叫他进 VIP 包厢，他断然拒绝并宁可淋着雨站在外面，因为他清楚“里面绝对会拍照”，不想惹来任何公众舆论的炮火；而沙恩·吉利斯和内特·巴盖兹（Nate Bargatze）则大大咧咧地进了香槟房。吉利斯笑称自己事后完全没挨骂，毫发无损。诺曼随即提到沙菲尔几年前曾和特朗普拍过一张著名的合影。沙菲尔笑着辩解那是一张极具喜感的抓拍，当时自己身上还穿着印有巴勃罗·埃斯科巴（Pablo Escobar）头像的 T 恤。沙菲尔回忆当时的心态，直言那时候对特朗普还抱有期待，觉得他会公开爱泼斯坦档案（Epstein files），而且承诺不发动新战争、不把美国大兵送去送死；沙菲尔同时强调自己一直都没投票，因此没有任何心理负担。 - 沙菲尔展现了极强的避嫌直觉，宁愿淋雨也不踏入有摄影镜头的白宫 VIP 房。 - 沙菲尔昔日身穿毒枭埃斯科巴 T 恤与特朗普同框的照片成为喜剧圈经典烂梗，当时其核心诉求是“公开爱泼斯坦名单与反战”。 --- ### [01:24:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5041s) 质询副总统万斯与伊朗战争阴云罗根聊起自己最近对副总统候选人 JD·万斯的采访。罗根直面反战议题，当面逼问万斯：“如果不是因为以色列的游说与施压，特朗普真的会去轰炸伊朗并向伊朗开战吗？”万斯当时给出了坚定的肯定回答，坚称特朗普绝对会为了美国自身利益这么做。罗根在播客中表示自己对这个回答充满怀疑，心想：“真的吗？你凭什么这么觉得？” 罗根为万斯的表现打圆场，指出作为副总统候选人，维护总统和搭档的形象是万斯的分内之事。罗根强调，自己在中东战争议题上的立场深度受到反战作家兼学者斯科特·霍顿（Scott Horton）的影响。霍顿曾向他极为详尽地科普过核武器技术门槛：从提炼浓缩铀到真正制造出可实战的核弹头，其间有着极高、极复杂的工程壁垒，而政客们却常常借此制造恐慌，试图将美国拖入新的中东泥潭。 - 罗根在播客中对 JD·万斯发起正面质询，核心聚焦在外国游说力量对美国攻打伊朗决策的控制。 - 罗根引述反战专家斯科特·霍顿的研究，阐述核武制造的客观工程难度，以此质疑美国军工复合体炒作伊朗核威胁的说辞。 ### [01:25:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5110s) 地缘政治博弈与特朗普的“机舱脱逃” 四人聊起了中东地缘政治局势。大家指出，以色列长期以来一直极力游说美国轰炸伊朗，以色列高层甚至拿着印有卡通炸弹的图表登上联合国讲台，指着刻度宣称伊朗的浓缩铀丰度“已经达到 62%，马上就要突破 80%”，这种极力拉美国下水的说辞已经重复了多年。虽然包括希拉里·克林顿在内的历任美国政府都曾动过类似念头，但最终都选择把问题往后拖延，深知全面打击伊朗绝非明智之举；尽管美国此前在利比亚搞得一塌糊涂、在叙利亚也频频插手，但唯独特朗普真正采取了强硬行动，使美国彻底坐实了伊朗口中的“大撒旦”角色。紧接着，话题戏剧性地转到了特朗普应对媒体与安保的荒诞传闻。有消息称特朗普在一次出访时，为了掩人耳目，居然利用餐饮配送车悄悄脱身换乘另一架私人飞机，而把白宫随行记者团全部留在了空军一号（Air Force One）上充当诱饵。众人脑补起空军一号上记者们的滑稽情景：记者们吃着插在牙签上的免费奶酪块，心里可能还在感叹“特朗普其实是个挺不错的老爷子”，丝毫没意识到自己成了潜在的空中肉盾。大家调侃称，在平常的航班上，特朗普总会突然从后方客舱走出来痛骂记者，比如指着某个人骂一句“死胖子”或是甩下一句经典的“闭嘴，小猪”（"Quiet piggy"），然后扭头走回包厢。随后众人还提到了网上流传的一个恶搞段子——特朗普竟然叫埃隆·马斯克“滚回非洲去”，虽然最终证实这只是网友杜撰的假消息，但也让人笑得前仰后合，尤其是在特朗普第二任期内两人居然又重新恢复了形影不离的密切关系。 - 以色列在联合国大会上展示卡通核弹图示，声称伊朗浓缩铀丰度从 62% 逼近 80%，极力劝说美军轰炸伊朗。 - 特朗普曾用空军一号搭载记者团充当疑阵，自己则乘备用私人飞机脱身。 - 特朗普曾以“闭嘴，小猪”（"Quiet piggy"）等极具个人风格的毒舌言辞羞辱白宫随行记者。 --- ### [01:27:08](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5228s) 特朗普的法律战开销与第二任期的搞钱逻辑谈到特朗普在第二任期内无所顾忌的心态，众人探讨了他为何在年近八旬的高龄依然拼命捞钱。有人质疑一个人活到这个岁数为何还对聚敛财富有如此执念，乔·罗根则指出，核心原因在于特朗普必须自筹巨额资金来应付针对他本人的多起诉讼。罗根分析称，从长达数年的“通俄门”调查到纽约州总检察长莱蒂西亚·詹姆斯（Letitia James）发起的民事欺诈诉讼，司法部门动用了各种近乎荒谬的法律手段试图让他破产甚至将其送进监狱。例如在佛罗里达州的海湖庄园（Mar-a-Lago）估值案中，检方竟宣称该庄园仅值 1800 万美元，而实际上其市场价值高达数亿美元。面对动辄数千万乃至上亿美元的天文数字律师费，特朗普必须储备海量现金融资才能抵御这些诉讼；而正是为了应对这些司法围剿，他在第二任期内开始采取一些边缘甚至可能引发新法律风险的吸金手段。 --- ### [01:28:19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5299s) 币圈水深：从“吐口水女孩”到加密货币政治洗钱论话题随即切入到加密货币领域。众人首先提到了因网络爆梗爆红的“吐口水女孩”（Hawk Tuah 迷因主角 Hailey Welch）卷入山寨币拉高出货（pump-and-dump）骗局的事件。罗根为她抱不平，认为她当时不过是个 21 岁左右的小姑娘，仅仅凭借一条说要“spit on that thing”的街访短视频一夜暴富，从未受过正规经济学训练；她显然是被一群老练精明的币圈操盘手忽悠入局，最终成了收割韭菜的门面担当。随后讨论引申到政客参与加密货币的巨大吸金能力。联邦财务披露报告显示，特朗普在 2025 年（即其第二任期的第一年）报告了超过 14 亿美元与加密货币相关的收入。面对外界对其是否在“割自家支持者韭菜”的质疑，罗根提出了一个更为隐秘的假想模型：加密代币实质上已经演变成一种巧妙规避监管的高级利益输送管道。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 加密货币利益输送流程 accDescr: 展示海外利益集团如何通过发行和炒作加密代币向特定政客合法输送资金 subgraph 隐秘注资 A["海外匿名金主 / 利益集团"] -->|"由于反腐监管 无法直接政治献金"| B["离岸海外秘密账户"] B -->|"砸入巨额资金（如10亿美元）"| C["发行特定名人代币 （如 Trumpcoin / 虚拟币）"] end subgraph 市场烘托与散户进场 C -->|"抬高估值并制造舆论热度"| D["网络网红 / 投机赌徒入场"] end subgraph 合法变现 D -->|"接盘维持流动性"| E["按节奏分批抛售代币"] E -->|"转化为合规个人资本利得"| F["政客 / 发起人安全提现套现"] end ``` 罗根以 Shane Gillis 开玩笑打比方：如果某家跨国利益集团需要某位政客在政策或行业监管上予以放行，却受限于法律无法直接行贿，他们就可以联手包装推出一款“吉利斯币”（Gillis Coin）。该利益集团通过海外离岸账户注入数亿美元将代币估值推向天价，同时借助网红造势吸引投机散户入场交易；随后，当事人便可通过分批合规套现将巨额黑钱洗白为合规的资本收益。马克·诺曼德对此一针见血地总结道：“这根本就是一场腐败的抢椅子游戏（corrupt musical chairs）。” - 特朗普在 2025 年财务披露中申报了逾 14 亿美元的加密货币相关收益。 - “吐口水女孩”在毫无金融背景的情况下被推向代币发售风口，成为典型的币圈拉高抛售受害者兼工具人。 - 众人推论名人加密币已演化为大额资金绕开联邦反腐败法规的洗钱与代持工具。 --- ### [01:31:40](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5500s) 国会内幕交易、道奇队霸权与韦德·博格斯的八卦往事除了加密货币，众人还痛批了美国国会内部猖獗的内幕交易与变相腐败。罗根提到喜剧演员乔·德罗萨（Joe DeRosa）前一天做客节目时透露的往事——德罗萨早年曾在参议院的媒体部门工作，亲眼目睹了政客们的敛财生态。那些参议员名义上的官方年薪仅有约 15 万美元，但这笔钱仅占其总收益的冰山一角，他们背后源源不断地接收政治献金、参与隐秘商业合作并凭借政策内幕进行精准投资，这种钻制度空子的做法被 Shane Gillis 戏称为“像职业棒球绕开工资帽一样肆无忌惮”。这番话瞬间将众人的注意力引向了棒球圈。大家纷纷把矛头对准洛杉矶道奇队（Los Angeles Dodgers），吐槽他们凭借雄厚的财力直接买下了全联盟最顶尖的球星阵容。众人特别提到了日本球星大谷翔平（Shohei Ohtani），赞叹这位身材高大的亚洲球员在数据层面上几乎是近年来无可争议的历史最强球员，只要保持当前状态，他很可能将坐稳棒球史上最伟大球员的宝座。话题随后跳转到了名人堂棒球传奇韦德·博格斯（Wade Boggs）。Shane Gillis 提到最近看到博格斯光着膀子钓鱼的近照，整个人依然浑身肌肉、身材壮硕得惊人。众人感叹博格斯不仅成功战胜了癌症，而且生涯成就非凡——不仅随队斩获世界大赛冠军，当年甚至还得意洋洋地骑上了警马绕场庆祝。罗根则忆起自己早年在波士顿生活时的八卦旧闻，当年博格斯曾深陷轰动一时的婚外情丑闻，其情妇甚至公开接受媒体采访大爆猛料。 - 国会议员表面领着 15 万美元的政府年薪，背地里却通过内幕交易与献金网络赚得盆满钵满。 - 洛杉矶道奇队被众人调侃为通过疯狂砸钱绕开竞争限制的“金钱帝国”，大谷翔平被评为近年统治级的现象级球员。 - 棒球名宿韦德·博格斯抗癌成功后体魄依旧强健，众人回顾了他夺冠后骑警马庆祝以及当年在波士顿闹得沸沸扬扬的出轨丑闻。 ### [01:33:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5590s) 库梅尔·南贾尼的身材与喜剧演员的刻板印象众人看着屏幕上演员库梅尔·南贾尼（Kumail Nanjiani）肌肉线条毕露的照片，发出阵阵惊叹。照片里他精瘦而健美，手臂青筋暴起，甚至还能清晰看到阑尾切除手术留下的疤痕。大家开玩笑说这简直像是《敢死队》里的硬汉，或者波士顿洋基队的传奇老将。乔·罗根打趣道，如果能让所有那些整天在网络上高谈阔论的“进步派书呆子”都去执行库梅尔的健身与饮食计划，给他们注射睾酮并让他们去做硬拉，世界会变得美好得多——“别再念叨你们九岁的孩子有什么跨性别朋友了，九岁小孩懂什么，他们需要的是大重量硬拉！” 话题随即转向喜剧界的陈规旧俗。库梅尔因出演漫威电影《永恒族》而练就了一身超级英雄般的体格。罗根对这种转变大加赞赏，并猛烈抨击那种“喜剧演员绝不能练太壮、太壮就不好笑”的荒谬观念：“去他的规矩！说什么脱口秀演员必须穿宽大的开襟毛衣遮挡身材免得观众分心，这完全是在胡扯，脱口秀根本没有任何死板的规矩。” - 库梅尔·南贾尼为漫威超级英雄角色彻底改变体型，展现出极高的肌肉分离度与血管纹理。 - 众人调侃脱口秀圈内长期存在的偏见，即身材过于健美或穿着前卫会分散观众对段子本身的注意力。 ### [01:34:40](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5680s) 喜剧剧场的故事、迷幻游侠啤酒与禁忌玩笑随着几罐迷幻游侠（Voodoo Ranger IPA）啤酒下肚，大家的兴致越来越高。罗根回忆起多年前与喜剧演员格雷格·菲茨西蒙斯（Greg Fitzsimmons）在喜剧工坊（The Comedy Store）的一段往事。当时台上有一位女演员，身穿超短皮裙，脚踩高跟鞋，身材火辣无挑剔。罗根进门后立刻转头问菲茨西蒙斯：“你觉得她好笑的概率有多大？”菲茨西蒙斯回答“十亿分之一”，而罗根直接断言“是零，绝无可能在拥有那种魔鬼身材的同时还极其搞笑”。聊到女性喜剧演员的形象差异时，话题扯到了资深女演员朱迪·戈尔德（Judy Gold）。现场有人冷不丁抛出了一个极其露骨、荒诞的下流玩笑，瞬间引爆全场惊呼。大家连忙大喊“掐掉这段！”并催促制作人杰米（Young Jamie）记下时间码进行剪辑，随后又假装什么都没发生过似地喊着“我们回来了”。紧接着众人又提到了蒂姆·狄龙（Tim Dillon）关于某些网络红人受伤自残视频是“造假涂颜料博眼球”的阴谋论猜想，现场在严肃探讨与胡扯之间反复横跳。 ### [01:36:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5788s) 英伦巡演与苏格兰酒吧里的“硬汉” 录音室里的一句含糊嘟囔引发了关于英国口音的调侃。马克·诺曼和肖恩·吉利斯聊到了在英国各地巡演时的“文化冲击”。在威尔士、格拉斯哥、都柏林和贝尔法斯特演出时，台下醉醺醺的观众经常会大声起哄（heckle）。那些地方口音极其浓重、语速极快，演员在台上根本听不懂对方在骂什么，但全场本地观众却会哄堂大笑，台上的人只能尴尬地强装镇定。肖恩分享了他在苏格兰一家酒吧喝酒的难忘经历。当时他和一个素未谋面的当地酒客坐在一起喝酒，喝了四五轮之后，那名男子突然借着酒劲无比严肃地对他撂话：“我能揍趴下任何男人，管他是谁，我敢跟任何人干架！”肖恩笑着说：“我当时只能回他‘我相信你，老兄’。最绝的是，他并不是在吹嘘自己稳赢，他只是在向我传达一种‘无论对手是谁，我都敢豁出去干’的狠劲。”这种虽神经质却纯粹鲁莽的硬汉性格，让大家回忆起那些在街头一同长大的酒肉朋友。 ### [01:37:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5866s) 怀念无智能手机的时代与远离网络负能量大家感慨起昔日时光的美好。在2007年前后，市面上只有功能简陋的翻盖手机，打字发短信费时费力，更没有随处可见的高清摄像头与iPhone。人们坐在酒吧里喝酒就是纯粹地聚会打屁，不必担心一举一动被录下来发到网上公审。智能手机在带来便利的同时，也彻底摧毁了人与人之间面对面的纯粹连接。肖恩坦言，过去三个月里他大幅度减少了刷手机的时间。无休止的“末日刷屏（doomscrolling）”会让人陷入极度压抑的心境中。他表示自己已经很多年不看Reddit，最近也彻底退出了Twitter/X。肖恩感叹网络戾气已经到了不可理喻的地步：“哪怕有人只是发一张风景优美的自然风光照片，评论区都会跳出来指责‘不是所有人都有钱去那里旅游的’。”为了不让自己被拖入这种毫无建设性的消极情绪沼泽中，他选择彻底远离这些社交平台。 ### [01:39:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=5970s) 父亲的 Reels 视频、约翰·林奇集锦与赛事解说构想虽然远离了网络上的负能量，但肖恩提到自己的父亲最近迷上了 Instagram Reels，父子俩因此找到了全新的沟通方式。父亲经常兴奋地发来一些粗制滥造但十分搞笑的 AI 生成视频，比如小狗开汽车；而肖恩则会给父亲回传上世纪90年代的体育高光集锦，例如拉里·伯德（Larry Bird）的投篮镜头，或是传奇白人安全卫约翰·林奇（John Lynch）在赛场上野蛮撞翻进攻球员的硬核冲撞合辑。制作人杰米随即在演播室的大屏幕上播放起约翰·林奇身穿47号球衣的凶悍擒抱视频，震撼的肉体撞击场面引得众人热血沸腾。随后大家又拿近期政客与播客界的合作开起了玩笑，调侃如果真要把亨特·拜登（Hunter Biden）请来播客会是怎样的景象。看到肖恩对美式橄榄球的热情与独到见解，罗根提议肖恩应当效仿自己的 UFC“格斗伴侣（Fight Companion）”节目形式，开创一档 NFL“赛事解说伴侣”，找几个哥们一边喝酒一边在线陪球迷聊球赛。 - 肖恩通过与父亲互发怀旧体育集锦（如约翰·林奇的凶猛防守）建立互动，享受远离负面网络言论后的轻松生活。 - 罗根建议肖恩开启橄榄球比赛的同步观赛直播（Game Companion），将喜剧闲聊与硬核体育赛事结合。 ### [01:41:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6064s) 策划 NFL 观赛播客与橄榄球解说构想众人就体育赛事解说展开讨论。Shane Gillis 直言自己无法解说圣母大学（Notre Dame）的比赛，因为看自己支持的大学球队时他会全程紧绷、陷入彻底的沉默；不过如果是费城老鹰队（Eagles）或者巨人队（Giants）的 NFL 赛事，他倒是能玩得很开心。Joe Rogan 随即提议搞一场 NFL 观赛伴聊（Football Companion），并拉上 Matt McCusker、Jalen Hurts 或者 Will Compton 和 Taylor Lewan（Bussin' with the Boys 播客成员）一起加入。 Shane Gillis 顺势向 Rogan 借摄影棚，提议在周四或周日聚在这里一边喝酒一边看球。Rogan 满口答应，表示非常乐意把奥斯汀的演播室借给他们，并盛赞这种形式绝对会大火，甚至提到以前他们做的 UFC 观赛伴聊（Fight Companion）播放量比 UFC 官方比赛转播还要高。Shane 分享了自己在奥斯汀的看球日常：朋友 Adam 不喝酒，但周日总会陪着他在下午一点开赛时就出门泡吧，等一点的场次结束，Shane 喝得上头了，又拉着对方接着看下午四点的比赛，最后索性一路耗到晚上八点的周日夜赛（Sunday Night Football），让完全滴酒不沾的 Adam 陪着他在酒吧生生坐上 14 个小时。大家打趣 Matt McCusker 虽然不懂球，但他那种一本正经胡说八道的幽默感反而会让节目更搞笑——就算你问他谁会赢，他也会极其认真地随口回答是烂队“喷气机队（Jets）”。 - 潜在阵容提议：Shane Gillis、Matt McCusker、Taylor Lewan、Will Compton 以及现役或退役橄榄球运动员。 - 观赛时长戏谑：Shane Gillis 描述与戒酒朋友在酒吧连续看三场球，从下午一点一直坐到深夜。 --- ### [01:43:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6184s) 大学橄榄球现场、UFC 洛杉矶站与 Comedy Store 计划话题转到大学橄榄球现场体验上。Shane 提到自己去过三次德克萨斯大学（UT）的主场比赛，盛赞德州大学的赛前尾门宴（tailgate）气氛极佳，尤其是夜场比赛氛围更是狂热至极。Mark Normand 也回忆起大学时期去现场看路易斯安那州立大学（LSU）比赛的震撼感，形容那场面简直就像古罗马斗兽场一样疯狂。众人查看赛程，注意到 9 月 12 日傍晚 6:30 有一场俄亥俄州立大学对阵德克萨斯大学的重头戏。随后 Joe Rogan 提到了即将到来的格斗赛程——9 月 18 日和 19 日在洛杉矶有一场 UFC 赛事。Rogan 提议大家干脆借着这个周末一起杀回洛杉矶，在 9 月 18 日星期五直接“包场霸占”传奇喜剧俱乐部 The Comedy Store 办专场，接着周六去看 UFC，众人纷纷兴奋附和。 --- ### [01:44:20](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6260s) 追随 Kanye West 巡演：从芝加哥到哈萨克斯坦在敲定洛杉矶行程的同时，大家又惦记起去看 Kanye West 的演出。目前 Kanye 已经公布的场次包括 9 月 3 日和 4 日在芝加哥的演出。Shane 开玩笑称要在 Kanye 登台前爬上舞台中央的巨型发光球体，在上面先演一段单口喜剧热场。当他们翻看 Kanye 的全球巡演行程时，惊讶地发现了许多不可思议的演出地点：印尼雅加达（Jakarta）、哈萨克斯坦的阿拉木图（Almaty），以及新奥尔良的超级穹顶体育馆（Superdome）。大家调侃说去哈萨克斯坦的体育场看 Kanye 简直太魔幻了，而跑去雅加达看演出搞不好会“送命”。Shane 叹气说自己最近生活状态有点虚，连用漏斗灌啤酒（bong beer）都不知道还能不能行，众人立刻起哄让他“为了美利坚拼了”。由于奥斯汀飞芝加哥只要不到两个小时，Rogan 甚至脑洞大开地提议：周四录完播客，直接包机飞去芝加哥，路上还能在飞机上架麦克风录一期空中播客。 --- ### [01:46:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6374s) 犹太经文匣与古代神秘造像的无厘头联想 Shane Gillis 突然转向 Ari Shaffir，打听传统犹太教徒头上绑着的小黑盒究竟是什么。Ari 解释那个叫经文匣（Tefillin / phylacteries），里面放着写有圣经经文的羊皮纸卷（例如《示马》祷文），盒子里装的经文越多、盒子显得越大，就代表这个人越虔诚。众人打趣说这黑盒里怕不是装了追踪 GPS 甚至是寻呼机代码。 ```mermaid flowchart LR accTitle: 犹太教经文匣与教皇冠冕的调侃逻辑 accDescr: 展现从探讨犹太经文匣的构成过渡到各大宗教标志性装束象征意义的讨论过程。 subgraph Tefillin["经文匣 (Tefillin)"] A["额头黑色方盒"] --> B["内置羊皮纸圣经经文"] B --> C["尺寸与虔诚度戏谑"] end subgraph Contrast["宗教服饰与权威象征"] C -.-> D["视觉奇观与权威感"] D --> E["天主教教皇冠冕与权杖"] E --> F["现代职场对比: 若企业高管这般打扮"] end ``` Joe Rogan 随即提到，自己曾在网上看到过头顶戴着类似方盒、长相奇特的古代中国雕像，猜测是不是早期有犹太人去过中国，甚至开玩笑说“去拿中餐外卖”。制作人 Jamie 搜索图片后，屏幕上跳出一些滑稽的图像，引得全场爆笑，Shane 更是当场无情吐槽：“Joe，你绝对是被犹太 AI 假图给骗了！” --- ### [01:47:48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6468s) 宗教仪式服饰与教皇的“潮流穿搭” 话题由此延伸到各大宗教奇特而庄严的标志性服饰。众人调侃，如果基督徒也像犹太教徒那样用下巴系带把整本《圣经》绑在脑门上四处走动，肯定会被疯狂嘲笑。不过天主教也毫不逊色，教皇的高冠（Mitre）和那一身华丽的礼服就极其扎眼。Mark Normand 和 Shane 评价道，宗教往往需要这种夸张到像“巫师袍”一样的服装来彰显神圣与非凡，让人一眼觉得他们与普通人不同。大家聊起圣墓教堂（Church of the Holy Sepulchre）里的各种华丽法衣，以及历任教皇标志性的座驾“教皇座驾”（Popemobile）。不过众人指出，现任教皇方济各（Pope Francis）走平民化、均权路线，不仅放弃了奢华的防弹专用车和黄金宝座，改坐普通椅子，在许多社会议题上也更加宽容和亲和。看着屏幕上那些造型夸张的传统教皇高帽，Shane 感叹这身打扮简直像皮条客主教 Don "Magic" Juan 一样霸气外露；大家最后调侃道，如果换作现实中任何一家普通企业的 CEO（比如联合健康保险 UnitedHealthcare 的总裁）顶着这顶巨大的尖帽子去上班，所有人都会觉得这人彻底疯了。 ### [01:49:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6554s) 白袜队的“教宗之夜”与荒谬的宗教盛装几人看着屏幕上的画面闲聊开来，话题从犹太小帽（yarmulke）扯到了教宗佩戴的白色无边便帽（zucchetto）。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）和同伴们发现画面里的人戴着一顶印有芝加哥白袜队（Chicago White Sox）标志的特制“教宗帽”。原来这是白袜队不久前举办的“教宗之夜”活动，现场给球迷们发放了这顶奇特的帽子，几人忍不住调侃喜剧演员汤米·波普（Tommy Pope），笑称他一定会觉得“这帽子简直是专门为我准备的，虽然我连芝加哥都没怎么去过”。大家感叹这种宗教服饰在现代社会看起来极其违和，直言“除了教皇这种职位，世界上没有任何一份工作允许你穿成这样出门”。不过，他们也提到那场棒球赛中一个温馨的插曲：球场主持带领全场天主教徒进行“祝你平安”（Peace be with you）的互祝仪式，现场所有互不相识的观众纷纷热情握手致意，这种久违的人情味获得了大家的一致称赞。 --- ### [01:50:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6601s) 罗根与邓肯的变装播客史：从福瑞、特斯拉机器人到小丑话题顺势转到了播客中的奇装异服。乔·罗根提到自己与好友邓肯·特鲁塞尔（Duncan Trussell）多年来录制节目时保留的传统：每次邓肯来上节目，两人都会换上一套荒诞的装扮。他们扮过天主教神父，也穿过让人窒息的“福瑞”（Furries）毛绒兽装。罗根坦言那次体验让他大受震撼：“当你戴上那个闷热沉重的头套时，你内心只会油然而生一种念头——‘向福瑞们致敬’，因为那玩意儿实在太难穿了。” 除了兽装，罗根和邓肯在历年节目中还尝试过各种离谱的造型： - **特斯拉人形机器人（Tesla Bot）：** 罗根直接在亚马逊网购的连体战衣。 - **万圣节恶魔与绿人（Green Man）：** 各种全包裹式奇异戏服。 - **瘟疫医生面具与精灵服：** 邓肯曾戴着鸟嘴面具，还有一次把自己打扮成了尖耳朵精灵，甚至穿过全套吉利服（ghillie suit）。 - **小丑装：** 罗根回忆道，有一次 CNN 引用他们播客里严肃讨论时事的画面，切过去的镜头里他们两个居然正正经经地穿着全套小丑戏服、画着小丑脸，背景还点满了蜡烛，滑稽到了极点。 - **发光眼球恶魔：** 罗根最满意的万圣节造型之一，双眼带有发光装置，视觉效果恐怖逼真，但由于佩戴体验极度不适，两人根本撑不了多久就必须脱下来。 --- ### [01:51:48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6708s) 万圣节的“蝙蝠侠军团”与福瑞心理学肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）分享了一段在纽约参加万圣节游行的疯狂往事。当年他和萨尔·沃尔卡诺（Sal Vulcano）、乔·德罗萨（Joe DeRosa）等大约十五个哥们儿，网购了一模一样、带肌肉衬垫的廉价蝙蝠侠连体衣上街游行。整个晚上，这群醉醺醺的“蝙蝠侠”在街上一旦看到有人扮演小丑（Joker），就会瞬间一拥而上，团团围住对方进行剧烈的胸膛撞击（chest bump），并用嘶哑低沉的嗓音咆哮经典台词：“她在哪里？！”（"Where is she?!"）这套紧身战衣功能相当硬核，腰带上还真配有战术小包，他们便在里面塞满了便携式烈酒小样。由于连体衣根本没有设计拉链，后来克里斯·迪斯蒂法诺（Chris Distefano）等人憋不住尿，只能直接暴力撕烂下裆，当街解决内急。大家纷纷感慨做糙汉的乐趣所在——戴上面具后，除了一撮胡子，你完全失去了个人身份。罗根一语道破这与“福瑞文化”本质相通：很多人正是因为现实中讨厌原本的自我，才渴望躲在虚拟角色的皮套之下，享受彻底隐匿与释放的自由。 --- ### [01:52:40](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6760s) 枪击案假新闻、照片修图与荒诞的网红入场秀话题转入对当代媒体报道真伪的讨论。众人一致认为，主流新闻中几乎充斥着加工、扭曲和立场引导。罗根提到此前引发轰动的枪击事件，网络上流传所谓枪手的照片，很快被眼尖的网民发现了破绽：照片背景中汽车引擎盖的比例发生了极其不自然的拉伸变形。调查后发现，发布者竟然是将一个体格明显更健硕的人的照片，通过画面比例横向压缩压缩成瘦子，试图迎合某种叙事。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）插话称，事件发生时他正身在危地马拉，当地人几乎不抽大麻、消息闭塞，却突然跑来严肃地问他怎么看查理·柯克（Charlie Kirk），马克当场一头雾水，还以为大家在聊大学时期的辩论视频。几人随即聊起网络上关于保守派公众人物的恶搞二创，尤其是喜剧演员模仿埃里卡·柯克（Erika Kirk）的视频：在模仿秀中，演员涂着惨白的粉底、甚至当场翻起跟头。众人吐槽现实中某些集会更荒谬：当事人戴着全黑帽子、一身犹如“海豹六队”特种兵般的黑衣出场，背后还燃放着刺眼的冷烟火瀑布，其架势堪比 WWE 摔角巨星兰迪·奥顿（Randy Orton）、高柏（Goldberg）乃至送葬者（The Undertaker）的压轴登台，戏剧性完全拉满。 --- ### [01:55:32](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=6932s) 海豹突击队的本·拉登击杀争议与影子测高法提到特种部队风格，众人聊到了海豹突击队退役队员做播客的风潮，并探讨起当年击杀本·拉登（Osama bin Laden）行动在海豹圈内至今未平息的巨大争议。罗伯特·奥尼尔（Rob O'Neill）公开声称是自己亲手击毙了拉登，但许多参与行动队员的身边人对此持强烈异议，认为奥尼尔冲进房间时，拉登很可能已经被前序队员击中倒地、甚至早已死亡，奥尼尔只是补了枪。肖恩幽默地调侃这种军人心理：“说实话，要是换作我跟着突击队冲进去，看到拉登已经中弹倒在地上，我也肯定会冲上去补一枪，然后出来跟兄弟们说‘没错，是我们一起干掉他的’，必须分一杯羹。” 马克随后分享了一部纪录片里的硬核情报细节：中情局当年在锁定巴基斯坦阿伯塔巴德大院的目标时，就是通过卫星侦察测量院内散步男子的投射影子，结合太阳照射角度与拉登 6 英尺 5 英寸（约 1.96 米）的特殊身高，最终精准确认了他的身份。对于美军没有采取大规模空袭或全面入侵，而是派遣小规模精锐突击队悄无声息渗透突袭的决定，大家都表示极其佩服。针对官方通报中声称“拉登在交火中拉自己的妻子和孩子挡子弹”的说辞，肖恩一针见血地辛辣吐槽道：“如果我冲进去不小心把一屋子妇孺全打死了，事后我也绝对会对外这么宣传——‘那混蛋居然拿小孩当肉盾！是他把人推过来的！’”现场爆发出一阵大笑。 ### [01:56:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7016s) 从巴格达迪到霍尔木兹海峡：推特治国与信息烟幕众人从反恐战场的残酷细节聊起，提到了极端组织头目巴格达迪在美军突袭时拽着两名儿童逃入死胡同地道、最终引爆炸弹背心身亡的惨烈场面。席间有人感叹战争的荒谬与残酷，质疑人类何时才能停止这种自相残杀，接着便半开玩笑地切入现实政治——要是战争无利可图，或许冲突早就结束了。话题随即转到特朗普当天的最新动态。特朗普在社交平台上宣称美国已经控制了霍尔木兹海峡，众人立刻对此展开嘲弄。大家指出他每隔两天就会发一条类似调性的炸裂言论，本质上就是制造噪音来转移公众视线，嘴上永远挂着“我们快谈成协议了”、“大交易马上敲定”，大家对此早已见怪不怪。 ### [01:57:42](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7062s) 价值百万的推特早鸟票：Truth Social API 与炒币闹剧谈话顺着网络影响力的变现延伸开来。谢恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）打趣称，如果自己发一个“吉利斯币（Gilliscoin）”，每次他在网上胡言乱语代币价格就疯涨，那该有多疯狂。马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）随即提到一则现实中的离奇新闻：特朗普旗下 Truth Social 的母公司特朗普媒体科技集团（Trump Media）被曝推出了一项名为 Truth API 的付费服务，允许订户提前获取可能引发金融市场波动的独家帖文。更令人咋舌的是这项服务的定价门槛——每月收费最高竟达 10 万美元，相当于一年需支付 120 万美元。大家纷纷吐槽这简直是明目张胆、合法化的内幕交易。众人争论这背后究竟是哪位白宫或竞选团队的说客给出的鬼主意，还是特朗普在法律灰色地带的又一次试探。聊到各类蹭热度的“迷因币”（如爆火一时的“Hawk Tuah 币”），大家对已经腰缠万贯的富豪还要巧立名目割韭菜的行径表示极其厌倦与无语。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: Truth API 商业模式流向图 accDescr: 展示 Truth Social 付费 API 如何将社交帖文提前转化为金融市场套利工具 subgraph 发布端["平台与特权设定"] T["特朗普与核心账号发帖"] API["Truth API 专属通道\n(每月高达 10 万美元)"] T --> API end subgraph 资本端["付费订阅者"] C["对冲基金 / 机构交易员"] API -- "提前获取市场异动帖文" --> C end subgraph 市场端["二级市场反应"] C -- "抢先下注 / 布局头寸" --> M["金融市场 / 衍生品交易"] M -- "公众帖文正式发布" --> P["普通散户被动接盘"] end ``` ### [02:00:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7238s) UFC 八角笼里的魔幻时刻：谁动了罗根爱犬的“马歇尔币”？借着加密货币的话题，乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）首次公开披露了一段发生在他身上的荒诞往事。当时他在 UFC 现场担任八角笼内的赛后采访解说，有多名选手在刚刚浴血奋战获胜、接过话筒发表胜利感言时，突然对着全球观众高喊：“我要感谢马歇尔·罗根币（Marshall Rogan Coin）！”罗根在台上瞬间满头问号，因为“马歇尔”正是他自家饲养的金毛寻回犬，该代币的图标甚至直接套用了他狗狗戴墨镜的头像。这让罗根陷入了极其尴尬的职业两难： - 赛后采访是属于格斗选手历经艰辛、赢得比赛的最高光时刻，罗根绝不想当场打断对方并出言抢戏。 - 如果他不当面澄清，全世界观众和行业管理层都会先入为主地认为罗根自己在参与甚至背书这个加密货币项目。后来 UFC 官方察觉到异样并彻底封杀了该代币在赛场上的曝光。罗根推测这大概率是庄家策划的一场“拉高出货”（Pump and Dump）骗局，背后的操盘手私下向选手支付报酬让他们在胜者访谈中喊单。罗根苦笑着表示，直到话筒递到拳手嘴边那一刻，他才第一次知道自家宠物的名字已经被做成了代币在币圈流通。 ### [02:02:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7366s) 沉迷 Reels 的老父亲、重口味恶作剧与 AOC 冻卵闲聊谢恩·吉利斯把话题拉回到生活趣事，聊起自己老爸菲尔（Phil）近来对 Instagram Reels（短视频）的疯狂沉迷。谢恩绘声绘色地描述，老爸看完费城费城人队的棒球比赛后，就会一个人关掉全屋的灯，陷在躺椅里直勾勾刷手机到半夜，甚至经常在凌晨给儿子转发诸如“浣熊开玩具车”之类的无厘头视频。谢恩调侃老一辈人从完全没接触过互联网的旧时代，一下子被扔进算法和人工智能充斥的数字世界，就像直接被推入了精神毒瘾之中；母亲前阵子刚出门度假两周，父亲一个人在家就彻底放飞、喝得酩酊大醉，半夜深情款款地打电话对他说“儿子，你是个好人”。听闻老爸沉迷短视频，阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）坏笑着提议把汤姆·塞古拉（Tom Segura）发给他们的那些重口味血腥视频转给菲尔，引得谢恩连声制止，称可不能摧毁老人家纯洁的社交软件世界。众人又顺势调侃起汤姆·塞古拉以及女议员 AOC（亚历山德里亚·奥卡西奥-科尔特斯），提到 AOC 近期公布了自己单身并进行冻卵的纪录视频。最后，马克·诺曼德冷不丁冒出一句“你们看了韩国足球队的表现吗”，但他口误把足球说成了美式用语里专指橄榄球的“football”，立刻被全场一致当作假装懂球的伪球迷无情痛击与群嘲。 ### [02:05:10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7510s) 韩国足球裁判丑闻与极致的“卷王”工作伦理众人谈到了韩国体坛的一则丑闻：据传韩国方面曾花费数千美元为外国足球裁判提供性服务，借此在比赛中争取偏袒判罚。马克·诺曼和肖恩·吉利斯调侃道，这根本不算违规，简直是“血赚”，因为比起 DraftKings 等体育博彩在这些国际赛事里滚动的巨额资金池，花几千美元搞定裁判简直划算到了极点。大家随即感叹韩国现代文化的强大输出——从跆拳道、三星手机，到轰动全球的《鱿鱼游戏》、《寄生虫》以及 K-pop，但话题急转直下，谈到了韩国如今面临的全球最低生育率危机。乔·罗根指出，韩国人之所以不生孩子，很大程度上是因为他们整个人群的工作强度达到了令人发指的地步。罗根回忆起自己从小练跆拳道的经历，身边接触过大量韩国人，直言自己这辈子都没见过工作伦理如此疯狂的群体，甚至到今天想起来都觉得自己太懒惰。他分享了一位当年的队友：这位老兄一边在医学院高强度的住院医师培训（residency）中挣扎，一边还是美国国家跆拳道队成员。这位选手曾斩获全美冠军并代表国家征战国际赛事，但他每天大概只睡一个小时。他的日常体能训练是把所有必须阅读的厚重医学教材塞进背包，背着重负狂跑大学的楼梯台阶，跑完立刻回图书馆苦读。罗根回忆说，那人整天看起来都处于极度虚脱的状态，疲倦得连眼睛都快睁不开了，但依然极其凶悍强悍。在韩国传统的“虎妈”式严苛家庭教育下，根本不存在什么“休学一年去寻找自我（gap year）”的退路；同时众人还顺带吐槽了韩国极其普遍的割双眼皮等整容文化。 ### [02:07:45](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7665s) PSY鸟叔的万人狂欢与 Turnstile 引领的硬核摇滚回潮话题转到了韩国流行音乐在舞台表现力上的恐怖震撼。大家提到了凭借《江南 Style》（Gangnam Style）爆红的鸟叔（PSY），并翻出了他当年在万人演唱会上从舞台地下弹射飞出的经典名场面。罗根赞叹这种出场方式帅炸了，直言脱口秀演员一辈子也不可能享受到这种待遇。吉利斯也分享道，以前去拉斯维加斯看 UFC 比赛，入住米高梅大酒店（MGM）时经常被前台挤满的上千名韩国粉丝吓到，一打听才发现全是一支从未听说过的 K-pop 乐队把整个场馆填得水泄不通。大伙儿看着鸟叔身穿流苏演出服在舞台上腾空跃起、引爆全场如狂风骤雨般狂欢的视频，惊呼这种热烈气氛简直堪比疯狂的塞尔维亚篮球赛现场。随后话题被带到了巴尔的摩硬核朋克乐队 Turnstile。马克提到自己开车过来的路上一直在听，还被其他人调侃是在“装酷”；乔更是抓着马克之前把足球叫成“football”而不是美式“soccer”一顿打趣。杰米随即在屏幕上放出了 Turnstile 的演出现场视频。看着现场密密麻麻的年轻人随着躁动的吉他失真和硬核节奏肆意甩头冲撞，几位喜剧演员感慨摇滚乐并未死去，“世界正在痊愈”，年轻人终于又拿起乐器组建真正的摇滚乐队了。 ### [02:10:11](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=7811s) 说唱音乐的低迷、USAID 渗透阴谋论与黄金年代嘻哈看着摇滚的复兴，大家聊起当前主流榜单上说唱音乐（Rap/Hip-hop）的明显下滑。肖恩开玩笑说这是因为德雷克（Drake）前段时间暂时退隐，“现在爹地回来了，冰人（Iceman）归位，榜单马上就会变天”。然而罗根抛出了一个网络上广为流传的严肃地缘政治理论：说唱热度下降是因为美国国际开发署（USAID）的资金被削减了。罗根解释称，前国务院官员迈克·本茨（Mike Benz）等人曾爆料，USAID 表面上从事对外援助，实则深度参与海外政权颠覆活动，资助了大量海外具有激进反政府倾向的说唱歌手，正如本茨的那句名言：“USAID 负责承接那些对中央情报局（CIA）来说都显得太脏的脏活”。杰米在屏幕上搜出雅虎新闻的辟谣文章，反驳所谓“USAID 资助嘻哈”是右翼阴谋论。朋友们借此拿罗根开涮，称罗根现在的声量实在太大，以至于他随便提出一个观点，各大主流媒体就会争先恐后专门发文章写上“尽管某荒谬言论宣称……”，连标题都不用指名道姓就知道是在反驳他。不过，众人随后也查到了 CIA 过去确实曾试图渗透古巴地下嘻哈圈、企图利用流行文化动摇当地政权的真实解密历史。在谈及个人音乐品味时，罗根坦言自己是个无可救药的 90 年代老派嘻哈铁粉（90s hip-hop head），认为现在的许多流行说唱滥用了 Auto-Tune 效果器，缺乏灵魂，他始终钟情于 Nas 等黄金年代老炮儿纯正硬朗的叙事韵律。最后，几位好友又将话题转向了对英国饮食文化的日常调侃，戏谑那些去了英国的人不仅口味变怪，甚至开始喝起温啤酒（warm beer）、大清早吃起了水煮豌豆。 ### [02:13:42](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8022s) 英国手压啤酒与健力士的神话众人一边喝着酒，一边聊起了英国传统的酒吧文化。大家调侃起在英国喝蒂莫西·泰勒（Timothy Taylor's）这类当地传统桶装艾尔（Cask Ale）时的奇特体验——酒保是用手动泵一泵一泵抽出来的，端上来时几乎只有微温（Luke/room temperature），根本不是美国人习惯的那种冰镇透心的冷啤酒。有人问在英国能不能点冰啤酒甚至加冰块，惹得大家一阵吐槽，不过众人也指出，那里的健力士（Guinness）黑啤确实是冷的。话题随即转到英国的啤酒供应上。有人直言英国本土并没有多少好喝的冷啤酒，酒吧里卖的大多是来自爱尔兰或其他国家（如西班牙啤酒）的货色，除了少数像纽卡斯尔（Newcastle Brown Ale）之类的经典款。大家还聊到了酒客中流传甚广的“健力士玄学”：许多人坚信英国或爱尔兰本地的健力士喝起来和世界其他地方截然不同，但席间有人觉得根本喝不出太大区别。支持者则搬出经典说法反驳，称那边的啤酒之所以更好，是因为酒厂距离近、运输管道与橡木桶维护得更专业、酒水更新鲜。 --- ### [02:14:27](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8067s) Billboard榜单、诺亚·卡汉与陪女友看演唱会的心理蜕变乔·罗根和众人把目光投向了当时的音乐排行榜（Billboard Hot 100/200），惊叹于榜单上的奇特景象：Drake 的歌曲重新上榜，迈克尔·杰克逊的《Thriller》也赫然在列。乡村巨星摩根·沃伦（Morgan Wallen）更是势不可挡，在前十名中独占两席，众人纷纷赞叹他在商业上的巨大统治力。榜单上还扫过了瘦削的爱莉安娜·格兰德（Ariana Grande）、奥利维亚·罗德里戈（Olivia Rodrigo）以及埃拉·兰利（Ella Langley）等当红歌手。聊到民谣唱作人诺亚·卡汉（Noah Kahan）和他的爆款热单《Stick Season》时，罗根表示自己歌单里循环这首歌已经好几年了，对其赞不绝口。席间有人分享了自己陪女友去听诺亚·卡汉演唱会的经历：因为原本对这种民谣风格不感冒，为了熬过全场，甚至不得不提前吃了迷幻蘑菇。大家随即深有共鸣地调侃起男人们“陪女伴看演唱会”的普遍心路历程——刚开始你心里满是不爽和醋意，暗骂“你带我来这儿就是想跟台上那个小白脸睡吧”；然而随着演出进行到中场，被现场气氛和唱功折服的你反而态度大反转，心里忍不住惊呼：“天哪，太棒了，连我都想跟他睡了！”众人顺势提到本森·布恩（Benson Boone）这类极具舞台魅力的年轻歌手，现场极具冲击力，让人不得不服。 - 摩根·沃伦在前十名中占据两个席位，展现出惊人的榜单吸金能力。 - 诺亚·卡汉的代表作《Stick Season》在各大流媒体和榜单上长期霸榜。 - 众人调侃当代年轻流行男歌手不仅吸引女粉丝，也常凭借过硬的舞台实力把陪同的男伴彻底圈粉。 --- ### [02:15:59](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8159s) 75岁赤膊摇滚的里克·斯普林菲尔德与抗衰迷思罗根兴奋地向大家预告，老牌摇滚歌手里克·斯普林菲尔德（Rick Springfield）即将做客节目，并极力推荐众人看一段他最近的现场演出视频。台上的斯普林菲尔德已经七十四五岁的高龄，却依然赤裸着上半身，身穿紧身皮裤，唱着成名金曲《Jessie's Girl》。视频放出来后，所有人被眼前的画面彻底震慑住：斯普林菲尔德不仅身材保持得极其精壮（腹肌轮廓分明），整个人散发出的能量感更是爆棚，嗓音饱满激昂，丝毫没有七旬老人的迟暮感。罗根感叹他完全不像某些靠拉皮手术维持假面的老牌艺人，而是真刀真枪、毫无保留地在台上燃烧，那种投入的劲头就像“上周才刚刚写出这首歌”一样。众人围绕健康老龄化展开了热烈讨论。罗根提到自己马上就要59岁了，坚信只要保持科学的生活方式与训练，人在晚年依然能拥有狂野的生命力。但大家随即讽刺起以极端手段抗衰的科技富豪布莱恩·约翰逊（Bryan Johnson）。众人吐槽他搞各种换血、嗑药和严苛的纯素饮食，整个人反而面如死灰、宛如正在风化散架一般，众人隔空喊话：“快别折腾你那些豆类蛋白了，赶紧过来跟我们一起大口吃肉吧！” --- ### [02:19:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8355s) 德雷克MV的秘密客串与留在伦敦的拉锯战在催促制作人杰米（Jamie）拿冰块的插曲中，大家无意间提起肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）在 Drake 官方 MV 中客串亮相的事情。肖恩略显尴尬地承认了这是两两三个月前拍的，之前还想尽量低调保密，没想到消息还是传开了，大家纷纷夸赞这太酷了。随后，话题转到了常驻伦敦的友人身上。该友人倾诉自己在伦敦感到无比孤独，极度需要这次与哥们儿重聚的时光。罗根和同伴们趁机极力劝说他搬回美国奥斯汀，罗根甚至直接开出极具诱惑的条件，承诺可以为他提供一整年免费的豪华公寓，公寓里配有顶级健身房与水疗中心，并催促他明天就去实地看房。然而对方却犹豫不决，搬出自己刚刚拿到了英国为期五年的长期签证，不想半途而废。众人大声嘲笑他“拿到签证又不是坐牢，随时可以走”，但他依然为伦敦的生活辩护：虽然天气偶有阴郁，但那里的印度菜堪称世界顶级，食物水准远超外界的刻板印象。大家随即指出伦敦生活的痛点——因为英国人普遍从傍晚六点甚至大白天就开始喝酒，导致夜生活收场极早，过了晚上九点几乎就找不到像样的夜宵。伙伴们毫不留情地开启损友模式，调侃他现在气色极差、形如流浪汉，连他妻子肯定也看不下去这幅落魄相。被调侃的友人则开玩笑地接梗，顺着用英制单位自嘲，表示自己回美国前确实得先减掉至少一英石（stone，约14磅）的体重。 ### [02:22:27](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8547s) 乔·罗根力邀阿里重返奥斯汀：双月免费往返与俱乐部公寓特权针对阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）旅居英国的生活状态，众人展开了一场劝返“干预会”。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）当场提出优厚条件：每隔两个月全额报销机票接阿里飞回奥斯汀，让他在喜剧俱乐部 Comedy Mothership 登台演出、自在聚会，平日还能免费入住俱乐部闲置的高档公寓。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）和谢恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）也跟着帮腔，调侃阿里现在的英国住处简陋得像“睡在谷仓里”，而奥斯汀不仅有全套空调设施，还能让女友彻底告别温吞水淋浴。面对诱惑，阿里虽然有些心动，却仍执着于自己的海外抱负，声称自己是在效仿比尔·希克斯（Bill Hicks）、丹尼斯·利瑞（Denis Leary）和帕特里斯·奥尼尔（Patrice O'Neal），誓要把“美国国旗插在英格兰的土地上”。马克随即补刀打趣帕特里斯的悲剧结局，笑称他最终“死于士力架”（暗指糖尿病并发症）。阿里坚称在英国巡演非常有意义，面对冷漠挑剔的当地观众受到的阻力与质疑，恰恰是他打磨单口喜剧所需要的。罗根则力劝他不必长年泡在糟糕的环境里受罪，完全可以奥斯汀与英国两头跑。话题随后转入得州的夏日高温。阿里与谢恩吐槽奥斯汀七八月份的高温闷热且滴雨未下，直呼夏天难以忍受。罗根则一副硬汉姿态全盘驳回，表示自己当天刚在100华氏度（约37.8摄氏度）的烈日下在户外练了两个小时射箭，只要天天蒸桑拿、多补充水分，高温根本不值一提。 - 罗根开出的条件：每两月提供免费往返机票、Comedy Mothership 俱乐部演出场次，以及周中免费入住俱乐部专属公寓。 - 阿里将自己闯荡英国喜剧界的举动比作单口喜剧先驱们的海外开荒，但同行们吐槽其自我折磨毫无必要。 - 罗根传授对抗得州酷暑的“秘诀”：每天坚持蒸桑拿并喝足水，声称外界的高温在生理上根本构不成障碍。 --- ### [02:24:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8690s) 文化冲击、说教冲动与尼加拉瓜驱逐风波罗根继续劝说阿里可以零成本过上跨城市的多栖生活，但阿里坦言自己有时会被某种强烈的“说教欲”驱使，随即他又自嘲道：“我做了输精管结扎，养了条狗，我懂个屁啊，大家都闭嘴吧。”罗根对此深感不可思议，直言自己主持着全球收听率第一的播客，却从不会傲慢地觉得自己有什么大道理必须教给大众。谈到阿里在英国台上调侃政治与“自由巴勒斯坦”等敏感话题时，阿里表示英国观众在指责别人前往往忘了自家历史上曾经掌控该地区的帝国行径。马克则戏谑阿里在南美丛林里混得风生水起，到了英国反而碰壁。随后众人揭露了一桩离奇旧事：阿里曾被尼加拉瓜直接驱逐出境。当时边境审查人员怀疑他是卧底记者，特意在电脑前盘查并搜索他的背景。当工作人员在谷歌上搜出他和乔·罗根的合作节目，指着屏幕质问“这个霍根（Hogan）是谁？这档节目（The Joe Rogan Experience）到底在讲什么？”时，阿里自知百口莫辩，当场放弃挣扎表示“行，那我走”。众人借着这段被驱逐的经历和地名谐音大开低俗地狱笑话，现场气氛欢脱混乱。 - 阿里承认自己常常有向大众指点江山的冲动，但随即用自己无儿无女、只有一条狗的生活自嘲毫无资格教别人做人。 - 阿里自述在南美坐十三小时长途大巴或面对恶劣医疗环境都能适应，却在英国繁重的移民限制下感到挫败。 - 尼加拉瓜驱逐事件：边境官员在谷歌搜索阿里名字时意外发现了《Joe Rogan Experience》，因怀疑其媒体记者身份将其驱逐。 --- ### [02:27:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=8834s) 巴西寄生虫、伊维菌素狂潮与纯肉饮食的代价话题转到接下来的巡演计划，众人提议9月4日一起去芝加哥看坎耶·韦斯特（Kanye West）的演出。阿里随即大倒苦水，抱怨自己在英国的公寓水质差、只有温吞水洗澡，更坦白自己因为早前在巴西感染了寄生虫，已经连续腹泻整整五个月。罗根听后立刻提议使用伊维菌素（Ivermectin），强调它本身就是抗寄生虫药物。阿里由此回忆起自己当初在佛罗里达感染新冠的经历：当时医生建议他吃伊维菌素并询问手头剂量，阿里答出非标准的“6毫克”，医生惊讶追问是从哪个朋友手里拿到的，阿里坦承正是罗根给的。罗根得意地承认自己在疫情期间通过印度渠道整箱囤积伊维菌素，花极少钱就能买到天量药片，并坚称后续研究证明了这一选择的合理性。罗根进一步吐槽英国全民免费医疗（NHS）效率低下、看病往往需要排队等上一整年，并承诺只要阿里回国，随时能安排自己的私人医生在几秒钟内为他诊断。针对阿里的消化问题，众人还探讨了极端饮食疗法。谢恩·吉利斯分享了他和播客搭档马特·麦卡斯克（Matt McCusker）坚持整整一个月的纯肉饮食（Carnivore Diet）体验：刚开始的几周极度痛苦，不仅腹泻如注，后台候场和上台演出时更是头脑发昏、极度疲乏，大脑完全丧失思考能力，最终以灾难般的体验告终。 - 阿里自爆因在巴西旅行感染寄生虫，饱受长达五个月的慢性腹泻困扰。 - 罗根曾从印度大批量代购伊维菌素自用并分发给圈内好友，甚至阿里在佛州就医时随身携带的药物也是由罗根提供。 - 医疗体制对比：罗根批判英国公费医疗看病动辄拖延一年，吹捧美国高端自费医疗的高效便捷。 - 谢恩·吉利斯以亲身经历警告纯肉饮食的副作用：适应初期会出现严重的肠胃失调、极度倦怠和演出台上的脑雾瘫痪。 ### [02:30:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9009s) 纯肉饮食的诱惑与奥斯汀正宗的费城牛肉芝士三明治乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）谈到自己无法长期坚持纯肉饮食（Carnivore Diet）的唯一原因，就是骨子里的意大利血统在作祟——身体总是在渴望意面、披萨和各种碳水化合物。前一天晚上，他就吃了一份极具诱惑力的费城牛肉芝士三明治（Philly Cheesesteak）。众人随即热烈讨论起奥斯汀当地的一家费城风味餐车（R&B's），并一致盛赞其出品极为地道。来自费城的肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）对正宗芝士三明治最有发言权。前一晚这家餐车特意为喜剧俱乐部休息室（Green Room）送去了一整箱三明治，面包软硬适度、辣度恰到好处、肉香四溢，征服了在场的所有人。大家调侃道，在英国无论如何都吃不到如此高水准的街头美味。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 休息室餐饮与周边生态互动图 accDescr: 展示Comedy Mothership休息室的奢华服务与周边第六街街区生态的关联 subgraph GreenRoom["Comedy Mothership 休息室待遇"] A["高规格招待"] --> B["特权体验：随叫随到、自由调酒"] B --> C["本地正宗美食直供 (如 R&B's 餐车)"] end subgraph SixthStreet["奥斯汀第六街街区互动"] D["俱乐部客流注入"] --> E["带动周边餐饮消费 (披萨店/墨西哥菜)"] D --> F["街头乱象与深夜餐车文化"] end GreenRoom -.-> SixthStreet ``` --- ### [02:31:37](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9097s) 喜剧俱乐部的奢华待遇与第六街的狂欢生态谈到喜剧俱乐部 Comedy Mothership 的后台休息室，马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）和阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）赞叹那里的待遇让人仿佛变成了奥普拉（Oprah）——只要伸出手，任何想要的食物或饮品就会立刻送到手中。吧台更是允许演员们完全自主调酒，省去了向调酒师点单以及支付小费的繁琐与尴尬。哪怕演员临时想吃旁边街区的披萨或玛格丽特鸡尾酒，工作人员也会在20分钟内送达。众人接着吐槽了俱乐部隔壁的一家披萨店，戏称其难吃到连街头的流浪汉都会当面拒绝。罗根曾半开玩笑地考虑把那家店买下来改造成高档披萨店，或者干脆建一个“催吐室（Vomitorium）”。尽管奥斯汀第六街（Sixth Street）环境混乱甚至有些声名狼藉，但罗根很享受置身于这种市井喧嚣的中心，而且俱乐部的火爆切实带动了周围餐馆和流动餐车的生意。 - **后台极致便利**：演员在休息室几乎可以点任何想吃的美食，且能自由使用吧台原料自制饮品。 - **第六街的美食探店**：除了俱乐部周边的墨西哥餐厅和汉堡店，大家还聊到了街头小吃与卫生隐患，甚至扯到了在巴西吃路边摊感染肠道寄生虫的经历。 --- ### [02:34:21](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9261s) 暴饮暴食的极限与詹姆斯·甘多菲尼的狂欢人生话题从饮食克制转向了暴食的极限。罗根提到在意大利旅行时狂吃碳水和披萨，几乎撑到濒临极限，这与肖恩·吉利斯喝啤酒的状态如出一辙。大家随之聊起了因《黑道家族》闻名的已故影星詹姆斯·甘多菲尼（James Gandalfini）。互联网上曾流传甘多菲尼生前最后一餐的账单，上面充斥着海量的龙虾钳、生蚝、大量酒精与各种高热量美食。尽管过早离世令人唏嘘，但众人不得不感叹他生前确实把声色犬马的豪迈人生体验到了极致。 --- ### [02:35:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9356s) 年少暴富的豪奢消费与好莱坞的潜规则遭遇阿里·沙菲尔爆料称，罗根年轻刚开始赚大钱时，经纪人和商务主管曾严肃地找他进行“干预（Intervention）”，怀疑他染上了严重的赌瘾。罗根当时一头雾水，因为他平时只会在台球局上偶尔押个5美元。查账后才发现，原来罗根把钱全花在了顿顿吃龙虾和高档牛排上。罗根回忆自己在25岁接下情景喜剧《Hardball》等开发合约时，手里突然有了15万美元巨款。出身贫寒的他当时抱着“今朝有酒今朝醉”的心态，每晚带一帮朋友胡吃海喝过着阔佬生活。随后马克问罗根年轻时在好莱坞是否遭遇过潜规则。罗根透露，在蒙特利尔喜剧节（Just for Laughs）期间，曾有一名喝醉的男脱口秀演员在凌晨两点多对他动手动脚、死缠烂打，罗根最后直接发出严厉警告，威胁如果对方再碰自己一下，就会把他的胸口踩出一个大窟窿。罗根还补充道，该名举止极具侵略性的演员后来在夏威夷也因为骚扰他人而遭到了痛打。 ### [02:38:19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9499s) 派对巴士上的离奇恶作剧与咸猪手经历谈话承接上一段关于被同性骚扰的话题，乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）反思了那种来自男性的攻击性求爱体验。他表示自己当时并不觉得自己像个受害女性，因为自己完全有能力在肉体上制服对方，但那种带有压迫感的性侵略性依然令人极度不适：“你根本不可能说服我跟你上楼去，这种举动简直疯了。”大家随即调侃起在不同年代和不同地区的同性酒吧文化与搭讪风气。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）顺势分享起自己经历过的荒诞遭遇。他提到曾在越南的一辆巴士后排，有陌生男人试图隔着裤子抚摸并帮他自慰，被他当场喝止。紧接着，马克又抖出了高中时期的离奇旧事：当时大家凑钱租了一辆派对巴士，他在车厢后座正接受一名女生的口交，不料旁边一个哥们突然开口吸引了女生的注意。趁女生抬头愣神的瞬间，那名哥们迅速伸手在马克下体狠狠“撸了一把”。这番经历引得全场哄堂大笑。马克解释说，那哥们纯粹是为了搞一个恶俗的恶作剧（goof），得手后还一脸“我才不管，反正我整蛊成功了”的表情。众人纷纷调侃如果当时马克正好到了临界点，场面该有多失控。马克笑称：“那可是 90 年代末，那时候同性玩笑还很常见，如今那家伙已经去当海军陆战队员了。”乔和谢恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）立刻打趣反问：“你确定他加入的不是海军？” --- ### [02:40:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9638s) 扬斯敦 Funny Farm 喜剧俱乐部的“昂贵剑鱼”骗局欢笑过后，马克将话题转回早年身无分文跑场子的艰难岁月，问大家是否去过俄亥俄州扬斯敦（Youngstown）一家名为 Funny Farm 的脱口秀俱乐部。几位嘉宾对那个地方记忆犹新——那家脱口秀俱乐部不仅与酒店相连，还紧挨着一家吵闹的夜店，每逢深夜场演出，夜店震耳欲聋的重低音舞曲就会穿墙而过，让台上的单口演员几乎无法正常表演。马克讲述了自己在那里的首次主打（headlining）经历：现场只有三名观众，演出结束后俱乐部老板热情地问他要不要吃点东西，并极力推荐：“一定要尝尝剑鱼，这里的剑鱼棒极了！再配上这款葡萄酒，绝配。”当年穷困潦倒的马克以为这是俱乐部提供的免费招待餐，欣喜若狂地点了剑鱼排、喝了一瓶半红酒外加几瓶啤酒。然而结账时，老板却径直甩给他一张账单。马克整个周末的演出酬劳一共才 400 美元，而那顿剑鱼大餐的账单竟然高达 380 美元。老板非但没有任何员工折扣，还反讽道：“免费？那可是剑鱼！”马克最终只能乖乖自掏腰包买单，辛苦跑演出一整个周末，扣除饭钱后几乎颗粒无收。大家一致痛斥这种靠推销菜品变相克扣演员报酬的黑心老板行径。 --- ### [02:43:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9794s) 纽黑文的黑帮俱乐部、皮鞋暴行与拔枪威胁聊到黑心俱乐部老板的话题，众人的话匣子彻底打开。他们提到了喜剧圈广为流传的各种都市传说，例如乔·李斯特（Joe List）或戴夫·查普尔（Dave Chappelle）年轻时向俱乐部讨要演出费，老板二话不说直接拔出手枪拍在桌上，吓得演员只能认栽走人。乔·罗根随即分享了自己在康涅狄格州纽黑文（New Haven）传奇黑帮俱乐部 Joker's Wild 的亲身经历。演出结束后，具有黑帮背景的老板克扣了他的酬劳，给的钱远低于约定数额。当年轻气盛的罗根上前质问时，对方冷冰冰地威胁道：“你能拿到这些钱，就该感到高兴了。”罗根见势不妙拿了钱立刻离开，并下定决心再也不去那里演出——哪怕后来他出演情景喜剧《NewsRadio》成名后，该老板再次邀约，他也果断拒绝。罗根还回忆起在纽黑文目睹的一幕血腥暴力场景：当时一名醉酒观众在台下起哄（heckling），这名黑帮老板冲上前脱下脚上的皮鞋，握住鞋尖，用鞋跟坚硬的木质硬底狠狠砸向那人的脸。鞋跟瞬间把醉汉的鼻梁砸烂，鲜血四处飞溅，甚至喷满了老板自己的白色衬衫。众人感叹纽黑文不仅有全美最顶级的披萨（如 Pepe's 和 Sally's Apizza，连 Dave Portnoy 都推崇备至），在那个年代更是充斥着难以无视的黑帮戾气与法外狂徒。 - **早年跑场黑幕**：许多俱乐部老板利用演员地位不对等，克扣薪水、设立虚假消费陷阱，甚至动用暴力与枪支威胁。 - **纽黑文披萨名声**：席间提及 Frank Pepe 与 Sally's 等名店，是脱口秀演员巡演路过康州时必定讨论的地标。 - **Joker's Wild 轶事**：罗根对该俱乐部老板用正装皮鞋鞋跟把起哄者打得头破血流的场面记忆犹新，称其完全是黑帮式的行事作风。 ### [02:46:13](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=9973s) 脱口秀早期的烂场演出与薪酬轶事大家聊起了早期演脱口秀时被俱乐部坑钱的经历。有人提起理查德·普赖尔（Richard Pryor）在专场里也讲过类似的事情，感叹这种被克扣演出费的情况在业内屡见不鲜。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）回忆起自己当年的遭遇：“他们给了我300美元，当时我根本微不足道。”除了报酬微薄，那家俱乐部在现场秩序管理上也是一塌糊涂，台下观众毫无束缚、完全失控。随后，他们回忆起在马萨诸塞州西部一家中餐馆办专场的离谱经历。当时台下坐着的食客们一边打包剩菜，一边漫不经心地看演出；甚至演到一半时，有观众直接大摇大摆走上舞台，强行拉着台上的脱口秀演员自拍，现场毫无边界感可言。 - 俱乐部管理秩序基本为零，观众可以在演员表演期间随意走上台合影。 - 早期演出费通常极低，遇到克扣也只能无奈接受。 --- ### [02:47:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10054s) 冒犯性俗语与历史上的“白人针对白人”种族歧视话题在几句关于喝酒和尼古丁贴片的插科打诨中转入了一段绿室（休息室）往事。罗根回忆自己曾和一位名叫布莱恩·弗雷泽（Brian Fraser）的脱口秀演员去俱乐部办公室领钱。布莱恩身材魁梧健硕，留着金发，外表完全看不出犹太血统。当时俱乐部老板当着他们的面口无遮拦地说了句“我可不是想跟你砍价/抠门”（用了含有歧视犹太人刻板印象的俗语 "jew you down"）。布莱恩当场暴怒，冲着老板破口大骂，怒斥对方搞反犹主义。罗根当时在一旁不知所措，既怕身材健硕的布莱恩失控把老板打死，心里又惦记着还没拿到手的演出费。大家谈到，很多人平时使用类似习语（如涉及吉普赛人的 "gypped"）时往往是不假思索的口头禅，并未意识到其背后的族群冒犯意味。这场争执进而引发了关于美国历史上白人群体内部种族歧视的讨论。罗根提到，在老一辈人的时代，像针对意大利裔的侮辱性词汇（如 "guinea"）十分普遍，甚至会引发私刑；他的祖父作为从意大利移居新泽西的移民，上学时曾经历过触目惊心的排挤。在当时，“盎格鲁-撒克逊白人”（Anglo-Saxon）对外来族裔界限分明，来自墨西哥、波多黎各甚至南欧意大利等拉丁文化圈的移民都被视为“有色人种”（brown people）；即便是金发碧眼的爱尔兰人，也因贫困和阶级地位低下而遭受长期的系统性歧视与奴役，形成了荒诞的“白人歧视白人”历史现象。 --- ### [02:50:31](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10231s) 对尤利西斯·格兰特（Ulysses S. Grant）的狂热痴迷马克·诺曼分享了自己当了父亲后的心态变化：他突然对历史产生了极度狂热的兴趣，最近一口气刷完了 Netflix 上所有的美国总统纪录片。肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）和诺曼一拍即合，两人都不约而同地把南北战争时期的联邦军名将、第18任美国总统尤利西斯·S·格兰特（Ulysses S. Grant）奉为心中偶像。诺曼和吉利斯津津乐道于格兰特在内战中的传奇细节：格兰特毕业于西点军校，内战爆发后，许多在南军（美利坚联盟国）担任将领的对手实际上全是他当年的同窗同僚。当参谋人员汇报敌方阵地（例如佐治亚州的某个堡垒）指挥官的名字时，格兰特往往立刻能认出对方：“我当年跟他一起打过球，这家伙就是个软蛋，我们绝对能拿下他！”这种熟人知己知彼的戏剧性对抗，让两人赞叹不已。 --- ### [02:52:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10324s) 从酗酒失意的杂货店员到联邦总司令的逆袭传奇 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 尤利西斯·格兰特的逆袭轨迹 accDescr: 展示格兰特从美墨战争、酗酒退役、贫困释放奴隶到内战四时间内崛起为总司令并当选总统的过程 subgraph EarlyLife ["早年与低谷"] A["西点军校毕业 美墨战争展现出众骑术"] B["西部驻防极度思乡 染上酗酒恶疾被部队勒令退役"] C["穷困潦倒 毅然无偿释放继承的黑奴"] D["在父辈杂货店/皮货店当收银员"] end subgraph RiseToPower ["战火崛起"] E["南北战争爆发重新入伍"] F["4年内战功卓著 升任联邦军总司令"] G["成为美国第18任总统"] end A --> B B --> C C --> D D --> E E --> F F --> G ``` 吉利斯接着梳理了格兰特在成为伟人前充满挫折与逆境的早年生活。在西点军校毕业后，格兰特参加了美墨战争，期间曾与罗伯特·E·李（Robert E. Lee）并肩作战。在那场战争中，格兰特敏锐地观察到了李将军在战前显露出的紧张情绪，这一细节在此后的内战中成为了他心理上的重要参照。美墨战争结束后，格兰特被派往西部边境驻防，因远离妻子、孤独难耐而沉溺酒精，最终因酗酒问题被迫从正规军退役。退役后的格兰特生活陷入赤贫，接连遭遇务农和经商失败。尽管他出身于废奴主义家庭，但他的妻子家族蓄奴，并分给他一名黑奴。在最穷困潦倒、身无分文的时候，格兰特不仅没有按当时行情把这名奴隶带去法院卖掉换取高达2000美元的巨款（这笔钱在当时足以购置一栋房产），反而毅然决然前往法院签署文书将其无条件释放。在南北战争爆发前夕，格兰特只能在父亲与岳父的皮货/杂货店里当一名拿着微薄薪水、被人瞧不起的收银员。然而战争爆发后，凭借卓越的军事直觉与钢铁般的意志，他在短短四年内一路升迁，最终统领整支联邦陆军击败南方联盟，并随后当选为美国总统。众人还特别提到了他神乎其神的骑术：在美墨战争期间，格兰特曾冒着漫天炮火，采用印第安人的骑马技巧整个人侧挂在战马一侧，利用马身遮挡敌军子弹，在战场上突围穿梭，堪称一代悍将。 ### [02:54:17](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10457s) 战争的浪漫化幻象与《血色大地》的历史残酷众人从战地硬汉的英勇表现聊开，感叹早期战争中那些主动报名的年轻士兵。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）打趣说，自己周六刚去参观了一座内战堡垒，心想当年的人到底有多无聊，才会求着别人“求求你让我上战场吧”。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）指出，自古以来的战争大多如此，正如《西线无战事》中展现的那样，年轻人往往把参战浪漫化为一场冒险；再加上父辈和祖辈对战火的赞颂，当时的社会将服兵役视作男儿报国不可推卸的责任与荣耀。况且那时的美国才立国百余年（甚至不足百年），大家觉得是在为切切实实的事业而战。随后话题转向领导人对战争的个人付出。小罗斯福（FDR）当年有四个儿子全部奔赴二战前线，展现了“以身作则”的担当，其中也有儿子负伤甚至牺牲。而斯大林同样将儿子推向前线，但罗根直言斯大林纯粹是个疯子。沙恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）忍不住吐槽罗根推荐他读斯大林的书，自己只看了一章就彻底崩溃，形容那简直是“有史以来最让人压抑的书”，比安妮·雅各布森（Annie Jacobsen）的作品还要让人绝望。那本书正是蒂莫西·斯奈德的《血色大地》（*Bloodlands*），详尽记述了二战时期苏德之间在东线白俄罗斯、乌克兰等地的暴行，包括导致数百万人饿死的乌克兰大饥荒（Holodomor）。 --- ### [02:56:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10575s) 意识形态之争、流浪汉产业黑洞与政治分肥顺着历史浩劫，几人聊到了共产主义在当下的卷土重来与周期性反复。罗根指出，美国社会最大的问题在于标签化：如果把免费医疗、基础教育当作像公共图书馆一样的社区基础设施，保障最困难的人不至于白白等死，这并不是共产主义，而是现代文明国家理应具备的底线。然而，资本主义游戏让亿万富翁备受敌视，老百姓不满于贫富极度悬殊，但更严重的问题在于公共资金被大量腐败的非营利组织（NGO）与官僚中饱私囊。以加州的流浪汉危机为例，罗根怒斥洛杉矶的游民救济机构简直是一个巨大的洗钱基金（slush fund）： - 洛杉矶某大型流浪汉收容机构的首席执行官（CEO）长期住在夏威夷，仅过去两年间就拿走了高达 160 万美元的薪水与度假津贴，其下属主席年薪也高达 20 万美元。 - 负责机构拿着天价薪酬，街头治理工作却一塌糊涂、彻底失败，但在体制内毫无问责机制。 - 无论提高最低工资还是加税，只要善款无法落到实处，社会危机就无法解决。加州在流浪汉问题上豪掷了整整 240 亿美元，情况却不断恶化；当立法机构试图对这笔巨额资金进行独立审计时，州长加文·纽森（Gavin Newsom）甚至动用否决权阻止审计，因为“每个人都在分一杯羹”。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 加州流浪汉资金腐败循环 accDescr: 展示公共财政被非营利组织与高管层层分肥却无法解决街头危机的过程 subgraph Funding["公共财政拨款"] A["加州财政拨款 高达240亿美元"] end subgraph Extraction["利益链条截流"] B["非营利组织与NGO机构"] C["高管天价薪酬 (CEO拿160万刀居夏威夷)"] D["政治庇护与否决审计 (纽森否决专项审计)"] end subgraph Outcome["实际社会结果"] E["街头危机持续恶化"] end A --> B B --> C B --> D C -.-> E D -.-> E ``` --- ### [02:59:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10781s) 尤利西斯·格兰特的消耗战与谢尔曼的行军地图沙恩·吉利斯将话题拉回他最痴迷的美国内战历史，生动讲述了尤利西斯·S·格兰特（Ulysses S. Grant）将军的崛起。林肯最初在东线饱受庸将之苦，像乔治·B·麦克莱伦（George B. McClellan）这样谨小慎微的将领被罗伯特·E·李（Robert E. Lee）吓破了胆，迟迟不敢推进。直到格兰特在西部战场打出名堂，林肯才终于将他调回东部主持大局。格兰特的过人之处在于他从不神化对手。格兰特深知李将军同样会恐惧，而且北方拥有压倒性的人力和工业资源，因此他果断采取强硬的消耗战（war of attrition），彻底粉碎了南军的防线。与将南方同胞视为“绅士”的旧派将军不同，格兰特和威廉·特库姆塞·谢尔曼（William Tecumseh Sherman）态度极度强硬，认为南方分裂分子就是该被绞死的叛徒。沙恩特别引用了谢尔曼的名言：“他在我发疯时拉了我一把，我在他酗酒时拉了他一把，我们是过命的兄弟。”谢尔曼率军一路向南纵火横扫，彻底摧毁了南部邦联的抵抗意志。 - 著名南方内战历史学家谢尔比·富特（Shelby Foote）曾断言：内战期间北方实际上只是“单手应战”，如果北方倾尽全力，南方根本毫无胜算。 - 杰米在屏幕上展示了格兰特在 1864 年接任联邦军总司令时获赠的名贵指挥刀，这把宝剑近期在拍卖行被拍出几百万美元的高价。 - 沙恩透露，喜剧演员弗朗西斯·埃利斯（Francis Ellis）送给他一份极其珍贵的谢尔曼将军当年行军穿越南卡罗来纳州时亲笔留下铅笔标注的原版地图。沙恩开玩笑称，每次带女人回家展示这张军用地图时，对方都会吓得怀疑他是不是什么连环杀手。 ### [03:02:20](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=10940s) 竞拍辛普森遗物与经典喜剧的回忆大家围绕 O.J. 辛普森（O.J. Simpson）的拍卖品展开了热烈讨论。有人展示了辛普森的冲球达阵奖杯，并开玩笑说辛普森要是知道了非来“干掉自己不可”。令人惊讶的是，制作人 Jamie 居然通过拍卖买下了辛普森的全套高尔夫球杆。不仅如此，金·卡戴珊（Kim Kardashian）当时也参加了同场拍卖会，买下了一本辛普森的日记，甚至在好几个藏品上与大家相互竞价。在几杯酒下肚后，现场有人稀里糊涂拍下了辛普森所有的领带，还拿下了一张极其昂贵的比尔·克林顿与辛普森的合影签名照，克林顿在上面亲笔题词“致我亲爱的朋友 O.J.”（"To my dear friend O.J."）。每次有客人到家里做客，主人兴奋地炫耀这幅珍贵合影时，对方却往往只回一句敷衍的“挺酷的”，完全没有料想中的震撼反应。话题随即转到了辛普森早年的荧幕形象，提到他不仅身材高大英俊、演过著名的赫兹租车（Hertz）广告，还出演过经典爆笑喜剧《白头神探》（The Naked Gun）里的诺德伯格（Nordberg）警探。众人感叹这类风格的无厘头搞笑电影在如今的好莱坞很难通过传统片厂机制诞生，除非采用独立筹资的方式。马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）透露，他和萨姆·莫里尔（Sam Morril）刚刚写完一部致敬 80 年代粗口风格的成人喜剧剧本，已经拿到了独立投资，预计在 10 月开机拍摄；西奥·冯（Theo Von）和大卫·斯佩德（David Spade）也刚刚完成了一部同类爆笑影片的拍摄。 --- ### [03:04:21](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11061s) 《轮胎店》制作幕后与一本离谱的指导书众人聊到了由谢恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）自编自演的 Netflix 热播剧《轮胎店》（Tires）。面对大家关于制作剧集会耗费多少精力的疑问，谢恩坦言其实大部分重活都是团队伙伴约翰·麦基弗（John McKeever）在扛。麦基弗非常有才华，是推动整部戏前进的核心火车头，而谢恩自己哪怕在异地也可以参与剧本讨论，通常是“麦基弗负责写，我负责到场演出就行”。更难得的是，Netflix 对创作极少干预，剧组拍完交货，平台方几乎不提任何修改意见。乔·罗根回忆起自己 2005 年就曾与联席首席执行官泰德·萨兰多斯（Ted Sarandos）合作，当时 Netflix 还是个通过邮递寄送 DVD 光盘的公司，罗根可能是在坦佩即兴喜剧俱乐部（Tempe Improv）为他们录制首批喜剧特辑的演员之一。随后画风突变，大家聊起了剧组主演之一史蒂夫·格本（Steve Gerben）的一件离奇趣事。格本在私下里极力推崇一套口交理论，声称前戏“起步至少 15 分钟，通常得按 45 分钟做预算”。谢恩吐槽格本每次煞有介事地传授这些都让人头疼不已，原来格本的灵感全部来源于一本畅销性爱指南《女士优先》（She Comes First）。这本书在市面上卖出了超过 25 万册，格本将其视作圣经，甚至细致到教人“一开始先轻轻挑逗前端”。这种拥有整套战术手册的做派让大家哭笑不得，也坐实了格本在剧里剧外那种一本正经却又荒诞不经的鲜明人设。 --- ### [03:07:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11254s) 费城喜剧圈与 H. 弗利的荒诞往事谈及《轮胎店》新一季的客串阵容，除了回归的斯塔夫罗斯·哈尔基亚斯（Stavros Halkias）等人，鲍比·李（Bobby Lee）和丹·索德（Dan Soder）也参与了客串。大家盛赞在剧中表现极其抢眼的 H. 弗利（H. Foley，播客《Are You Garbage?》主持人）。众人一致认为弗利是世界上最好相处的人，但他在早年费城喜剧圈的生活宛如一个真正的“混世恶魔”。当时费城的喜剧演员们经常在演后去渡鸦酒廊（Raven Lounge），因为药物刺激，后台经常爆发激烈的肢体冲突，弗利和已故喜剧人克里斯·考顿（Chris Cotton）就曾当场互殴，台上一有人表演，台下后排的两个大胖子就开始破口大骂。谢恩分享了一段关于弗利的经典逸事：当年弗利体重高达 400 磅，吸食可卡因后带了一位脱衣舞娘/应召女郎回家。在空荡荡的房间里，女郎在前面跳舞，弗利则抽着烟，像个大球一样坐在一张瑜伽健身球上一颠一颠地晃动。突然，香烟燃尽掉落的滚烫烟灰直接烧破了瑜伽球，“嘭”的一声巨响，400 磅的弗利当场摔翻在地，四脚朝天。弗利一直坚称是烟头烫破了球，但谢恩等人都大笑着调侃“那绝对是你自己的体重把它压爆的”。 - 弗利早年混迹费城地下喜剧圈，脾气火爆，曾与同行在酒吧大打出手。 - 400 磅的弗利坐在瑜伽球上因烟灰烫破（或体重过重）导致气球爆裂翻倒，成为圈内广为流传的爆笑名场面。 --- ### [03:09:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11374s) 中场休息与威士忌轶事随着播客录制接近 4 个半小时，众人的状态逐渐微醺，甚至有人必须离席去卫生间解决生理需求。马克·诺曼德打趣说自己在“憋尿”这项耐力测试上终于赢了罗根一次。在等待中场调整的间隙，大家一边张罗着让制作人 Jamie 在背景屏幕上调出圣母大学跑卫杰里迈亚·洛夫（Jeremiah Love）的达阵精彩集锦，一边继续举杯畅饮。吧台上摆着的 Bodega Cat 威士忌引发了话题，有人直言这款酒风味极佳。马克坦白承认，上次录制播客时，他因为要在纽约小住一个月又不想自掏腰包买酒，直接从工作室里“顺”走了一整瓶 Bodega Cat。面对大家开玩笑警告“千万别在伦敦借公寓给马克住，否则家当都会被偷光”，马克笑嘻嘻地拿自己戏称为“外来移民”（immigrant）的烂梗自嘲，现场在一片微醺与胡侃的欢脱气氛中继续进行。 ### [03:10:27](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11427s) 英美文化斗嘴与大学橄榄球的魅力几位喜剧演员继续他们惯常的互相抬杠与调侃。讨论从拿英国人和伦敦的移民现状开涮开始，笑谈在伦敦买房对移民有多困难。随后话题转到了词汇之争上——关于“soccer”（足球）这个词，他们喜欢当面戳穿英国人，提醒他们这个词其实最早正是出自英国本土的“协会足球”（Association Football），而英国人如今却坚持声称“这叫 football”，这种揭短令人乐此不疲。谈及体育时，有人赞叹顶级足球比赛的氛围，但 Shane Gillis 随后立刻为美式大学橄榄球（College Football）站台，宣称大学橄榄球能把足球彻底碾压。随后屏幕上放起了球员集锦，大家调侃着身穿纯白球衣的球员像“天主教皇室”，也顺带聊到了英格兰球星哈里·凯恩（Harry Kane）和贝林厄姆（Jude Bellingham）。看着橄榄球赛场上宛如巴里·桑德斯（Barry Sanders）附体般的惊艳变向与倒地未触地的神级闪躲，众人都忍不住惊呼喝彩。 --- ### [03:11:48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11508s) 射箭杀伤力与罗伯特·艾格斯的电影世界话题转到了 Joe Rogan 的日常训练上。当被问及当天是否练了两个小时射箭、手臂会不会酸痛时，Joe 表示自己早就练习惯了，反而调侃说自己大部分时间都在玩棒球游戏《MLB The Show》。Mark 问起打猎战利品是否会做标本，Joe 解释自己不做全身标本，而是做“欧洲鹿头标本”（Euro mounts，仅保留头骨与鹿角）。紧接着大家探讨起“弓箭能否杀人”的离奇问题。Joe 直言弓箭连重达几百磅的麋鹿都能猎杀，杀人自然是百分之百致命；人类历史上绝大部分时期都是死在弓箭这类冷兵器下的，而好莱坞电影中身中 18 箭还能若无其事走开的桥段简直荒谬。随后话题跳到了电影上： - **《北欧人》（The Northman）**：Shane 提到自己前一晚重看了该片，在影院初看时不甚喜欢，但这次重温觉得极其过瘾、震撼。 - **罗伯特·艾格斯（Robert Eggers）**：众人一致称赞这位导演的才华，细数了他的经典作品《女巫》（The VVitch）、《灯塔》（The Lighthouse）以及备受期待的翻拍版《诺斯费拉图》（Nosferatu），称赞《诺斯费拉图》将吸血鬼题材带上了全新的艺术巅峰。 - **恐怖爆笑片《痴迷》（Obsession）**：Shane 和大家大笑着回顾这部片子前半部分的喜剧质感——男主角面对一个令人窒息的“噩梦女友”，在车里打电话向哥们吹嘘自己不怕跟女友摊牌，挂掉电话恐怖音乐响起，回到家试探着说“今晚是哥们聚会”，结果被对方死死拿捏。剧情随后一路滑向彻底的疯狂与血腥。 --- ### [03:14:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11686s) 喜剧工坊传奇之夜：“被取消者群星汇” Mark 和 Shane 分享了一段发生在洛杉矶 The Comedy Store 的震撼传奇之夜。事情起因于今年五月，Shane、Tommy Pope 等好友先到了俱乐部，Tommy 当时因为刚下飞机喝得烂醉。随后戴夫·查普尔（Dave Chappelle）现身，接着坎耶·韦斯特（Kanye West，侃爷）也到了后台。两帮人坐在一起畅聊整晚，甚至喝断片的 Tommy 到了第二天早晨还醒不过来地嚷嚷“我真想见侃爷一面”，被众人无情吐槽“你个醉鬼昨晚跟侃爷混了一整宿”。更不可思议的是，克里斯·洛克（Chris Rock）和路易·C·K（Louis C.K.）也毫无预兆地相继来到现场。原本只是闲聊，后来大家决定干脆登台演出。当时后排坐着 Shane 和路易（坐着俱乐部创始人 Mitzi 的专座），侃爷的随行人员走过来试图要求他们让座给侃爷的人，两位喜剧大咖互相对视了一眼，直接干脆地拒绝道：“不行，我们是脱口秀演员。” 当晚午夜之后，查普尔走上舞台担当主持，直接将整场演出命名为“被取消者喜剧大狂欢”（A Cancel Comedy Cavalcade）： ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 喜剧工坊传奇之夜出场顺序 accDescr: 展现戴夫·查普尔如何在午夜后串联起几位极具争议的顶级脱口秀演员接力登台 A["戴夫·查普尔开场主持 7分钟 宣布这是'被取消者大游行'"] --> B["Shane Gillis （因言论争议被SNL开除）登台炸场"] B --> C["路易·C·K 查普尔报幕：'这位对女人极差'"] C --> D["克里斯·洛克 查普尔报幕：'这位聊别人老婆被当众掌掴'"] D --> E["最后收尾演出 现场仅有的 27 位观众彻底陷入狂喜与疯狂"] ``` - 现场只有 27 名普通观众，他们完全没想到花几十块钱买的普通午夜场，竟然亲眼目睹了脱口秀历史上最不可思议、阵容最豪华且极具自嘲意味的秘密接力演出。 ### [03:18:11](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11891s) 侃爷后台放未发行新歌与沙特演出争议阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）和马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）等人回忆起在后台碰见侃爷（Kanye West）的离奇经历。当时侃爷霸占了车载音频连接线（Aux），不停地播放各种未发行的曲目，既有他自己喜欢的歌，也有他自己的未发布作品。侃爷还在现场试图解释自己先前的躁狂发作，辩解称：“哥们，那根本不是针对犹太人，哪怕换成移民、同性恋群体也一样，我当时完全是疯了，脑子不清醒。”随后侃爷走向查尔斯，突然指着某人说：“这家伙专门针对这事写了个段子。”引得查尔斯一脸错愕。后台聚集了包括里克·罗斯（Rick Ross）、塔利卜·奎利（Talib Kweli）在内的各路明星，现场关于犹太话题的观点交锋极为奇妙。侃爷甚至当场提议自己应该去以色列开演唱会，而戴夫·查普尔（Dave Chappelle）则劝阻他不能在一个极权主义环境下演出。然而有人当场反呛查普尔：“难道你没去沙特阿拉伯演出吗？”查普尔则打趣回应称沙特的喜剧节办得非常精彩。 ### [03:19:24](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=11964s) 马克·诺曼德的沙特脱口秀之旅与审查清单马克·诺曼德回顾了自己受邀前往沙特阿拉伯表演喜剧的体验。出发前，周围所有人都在吓唬他，告诫他在那边可能因为犯禁而被砍手，甚至提醒他平时有顺手牵羊的小毛病。马克飞抵沙特后，惊讶地发现女性已经在合法开车，整个社会并没有外界谣传得那么极端。为了以防万一，他只在那里停留了一晚，打算演完就跑。演出方给所有演员发了一份严格的演出禁忌清单，严禁触碰政府、跨性别、同性恋等敏感话题，甚至连支持这些群体的内容都不允许提及。马克调侃这份审查清单“基本上把我的整套段子砍掉了一半”，大家打趣这简直跟在喜剧母舰俱乐部（Comedy Mothership）签约演出的规矩差不多。然而一旦站上舞台，马克进入了表演的惯性节奏，把被警告不要说的东西全都讲了一遍，甚至还开起了穆斯林吸毒“石刑”（石头砸人/嗨翻的双关）的玩笑。出人意料的是，沙特现场观众反应极度热烈、格外热情，成为他经历过最好的现场之一。 - 许多右翼倾向的喜剧演员直接拒绝了沙特的演出邀约，托尼·辛奇克利夫（Tony Hinchcliffe）在面对巨额演出费时同样说了不。 - 大家谈到了切尔西·汉德勒（Chelsea Handler）在现场和私下的两面派行为，指出很多人在社交网络上为了“道德标榜”（Virtue Signaling）去攻击他人，当面却客客气气，正如很多在网上痛骂乔·罗根的人上了播客却屁都不敢放一个。 ### [03:22:23](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12143s) 乔·德罗萨在奈飞上线专场与深夜车站炸鸡奇遇几人将话题转向老友乔·德罗萨（Joe DeRosa），庆祝他的首部个人专场正式上线 Netflix，并对他在专场及前一晚现场的爆笑表现赞不绝口。大家评价乔·德罗萨是一个极具幽默感且极重感情的人，特别喜欢在喝高之后拉着人促膝长谈（Heart-to-heart）。然而，他也是个极度容易被劝酒的酒鬼，哪怕只稍微推脱一句“待会儿还有商务会议”，只要对方喊一声“来个 Shot”，他就会立刻缴械投降。马克分享了十年前两人在纽约的一段荒唐往事：某天深夜两人喝得酩酊大醉，德罗萨坚持非要去吃肯德基，当时全城唯一营业的门店在宾夕法尼亚车站（Penn Station）。凌晨四点，两人坐在车站肮脏的角落里，挨着流浪汉啃炸鸡，德罗萨还信誓旦旦地坚称这是全纽约最棒的一家肯德基，封自己为“肯德基界的安东尼·波登”。在疫情期间，只要有人在中午发消息说街边酒吧开门了，德罗萨绝对会在十分钟之内赶到现场。 ### [03:24:21](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12261s) 吹瓶精酿啤酒与伯特·克赖舍的戒酒谜团随着气氛渐浓，大家开始畅饮伏都游侠（Voodoo Ranger）高浓度 IPA 啤酒，甚至讨论起要不要拿漏斗啤酒管（Bong）直接吹完。现场提议给乔·罗根放德雷克（Drake）的生日歌助兴，并八卦起布拉德·皮特（Brad Pitt）近期恢复饮酒的新闻。随后几人聊起伯特·克赖舍（Bert Kreischer）目前的戒酒状况。虽然有人误以为他在七月破了戒，但大家确认伯特目前依然保持清醒滴酒不沾。这主要是因为他长年不健康的生活习惯引发了严重的健康危机，不仅身体肥胖，此前还出现过凶险的血栓症状。席间大家还调侃起他接种了三针 mRNA 疫苗的梗，以及综合格斗巨星康纳·麦格雷戈（Conor McGregor）在戒酒与恢复喝酒之间的离谱反复。 ### [03:25:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12338s) 举杯庆祝与录制《Hot Ones》吃辣翅的惨痛体验对话在轻松的打趣与喝酒碰杯中展开。几人提到康纳·麦格雷戈（Conor McGregor）在推广自己的黑啤品牌 Black Forge Stout。大家端起冰镇饮品共同为生日干杯，并调侃乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）很快就要满 60 岁了。一口灌下冰镇饮料后，大家纷纷称赞罗根咽酒速度惊人、喉咙耐受力依然强劲，罗根笑称自己习惯了冷水浸泡，所以能顶得住这种冰冷直冲喉咙的刺激。随后话题转向知名访谈节目《Hot Ones》（辣翼访谈）。沙恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）坦言自己曾录过一期，但那绝对是回答问题最离谱、最痛苦的方式。当时他正好宿醉，虽说炸鸡翅本身非常美味，主持人肖恩·埃文斯（Sean Evans）人也非常友善，但他实在不擅长在被变态辣酱折磨得死去活来时还要组织语言进行严肃对话。罗根称赞柯南·奥布莱恩（Conan O'Brien）在那档节目中的表现堪称天花板，柯南不仅自带了随行医疗团队，还在现场把辣酱涂抹在脸上、狂灌牛奶，场面既疯狂又精彩。 - 康纳·麦格雷戈的品牌：Black Forge Stout（黑啤） - 讨论的热门网络访谈秀：《Hot Ones》（主持人为 Sean Evans，以边吃越来越辣的鸡翅边做深度专访闻名） - 经典场面：柯南·奥布莱恩录制《Hot Ones》时将辣酱涂满脸庞并当场狂灌牛奶 --- ### [03:27:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12421s) 生牛奶与阿米什人群体的“无自闭症”传言聊到解辣利器牛奶时，吉利斯提到喝带厚奶霜的原生态生牛奶（Raw Milk）最能有效包裹食道、缓解灼烧感。吉利斯透露自己每周都会在农贸市场购买并喝掉整整一加仑的生牛奶，甚至提到这些奶源来自阿米什人（Amish）。现场随即就阿米什人的生活方式和阴谋论展开热烈讨论。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）打趣阿米什人比共产主义强多了，因为他们自顾自驾马车、手动摇搅拌器打黄油，从不把生活方式强加于人。罗根则提出了网上流传甚广的说法：阿米什人中极少出现自闭症，除非是那些被领养且早已接种过疫苗的儿童，罗根借此谈到疫苗中含有的铝与汞等成分。吉利斯与阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）对此表示质疑，指出阿米什人可能只是单纯从不去看正规医生，因此根本没有经过医学诊断。吉利斯进一步分享自己从小在宾夕法尼亚州兰开斯特（Lancaster）附近的成长经历，坚称阿米什人绝对有自闭特质。他回忆青少年时期开车经过阿米什人的马车时，会摇下车窗把音乐开到震天响，大喊“尝尝美好生活的滋味吧！”来捉弄他们。 --- ### [03:28:37](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12517s) 阿米什少年的成年礼（Rumspringa）与通缉照吉利斯提到了阿米什年轻人的“成年礼过渡期”（Rumspringa）。印第安纳州同样分布着不少阿米什社群，在圣母大学（Notre Dame）橄榄球赛的场外尾门聚会（Tailgate）上，吉利斯连续两年都能看到处于成年礼期间的阿米什青年狂欢作乐。根据传统，年轻人可以走出封闭社群体验现代社会，甚至有人在外游荡到 40 多岁才选择回归受洗，但终其一生只有这一次离群放纵的机会。吉利斯绘声绘色地描述这些青年顶着呆板的西瓜皮发型（bowl cuts），社交表现极度笨拙甚至“全员自闭”，但由于长年从事搭谷仓、搬重木等重体力劳动，个个身材极其壮硕彪悍，如果去打橄榄球甚至能组成令人胆寒的进攻锋线（O-line）。众人让制作人杰米（Jamie）调出此前因斗殴或违法被捕的阿米什男子的入狱通缉大头照（mug shots）。屏幕上的照片令众人惊叹不已：那些男子留着典型的“有须无髭”（只有下巴胡子、剃光上唇胡子）造型，神情野性而奇特，酷似 18 世纪英国的牧羊人或身披橙色囚服的怪异狂热分子。 --- ### [03:30:44](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12644s) 阿里·沙菲尔在休息区盘问门诺派妇人由阿米什人联想到外观相似的门诺派教徒（Mennonites），罗根回忆起多年前与阿里·沙菲尔、乔伊·迪亚兹（Joey Diaz）等人一起在马萨诸塞州西部跑演出时的荒诞往事。当时一行人将车开进高速公路休息站，正巧碰上几位身穿传统清教徒式服饰的门诺派妇女。身高 6 英尺 3 英寸（约 191 公分）的阿里带着极其直接、毫无社交边界感的探究欲大步走上前，居高临下地把那些从未与外族男性搭过话的妇女逼到角落，咄咄逼人地盘问：“你们到底在搞什么？这身打扮是怎么回事？你们这是什么异端邪教？” 一旁的乔伊·迪亚兹笑得上气不接下气，直呼“快看阿里这小子，把那些白人妇女吓得魂飞魄散”。罗根感叹阿里一向脸皮厚、毫无耻感，正是这种天不怕地不怕的行事风格才促成了当年轰动一时的恶搞短剧《最狂种族歧视者》（The Amazing Racist）。 --- ### [03:31:48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12708s) 拼酒速度、手卷烟与得州科曼奇族历史几人再次拿起酒罐比拼“一口闷”（shotgun）的技巧。罗根称赞诺曼的咽酒速度突飞猛进，喉咙宛如天然开启的通道；吉利斯则提到乡村巨星卢克·库姆斯（Luke Combs）的灌酒能力才叫骇人听闻，嘴巴张开吞咽的架势简直如同大鲸鱼一口吞下先知约拿。随后，吉利斯注意到诺曼正在自己卷烟，忍不住破口大骂：“你卷烟的样子真像个混球，看着就让人来气。”诺曼辩解这是同行乔·德罗萨（Joe DeRosa）给的烟草，并反唇相讥自己之所以手卷就是为了故意惹毛吉利斯。当诺曼开玩笑问“美洲印第安人是不是也这么卷烟”并假称自己有印第安血统时，吉利斯无情戳穿：“印第安人根本不用卷烟纸，别装了，你要真有切罗基族血统你早就挂在嘴边吹了一百遍了。” 罗根随后将话题引向得克萨斯州的历史，指出他们现在脚下踩着的正是昔日科曼奇人（Comanche）的领地，直言科曼奇族是北美历史上最凶悍、战斗力最强的游牧战士。罗根极力向大家推荐非虚构历史名作《夏日之月的帝国》（*Empire of the Summer Moon*），众人随即围绕这本书是否已被改编为影视作品展开探讨，并提到了电影《敌对分子》（*Hostiles*）以及考麦克·麦卡锡（Cormac McCarthy）以美洲西部残酷历史为背景的小说《血色子午线》（*Blood Meridian*）。 - 吞酒典故：“吞下约拿”（Jonah and the whale，圣经旧约中先知约拿被大鱼吞腹的典故） - 推荐著作与影视参考： - 《夏日之月的帝国》（*Empire of the Summer Moon* by S. C. Gwynne）：详述科曼奇族崛起、抗争与衰亡的历史巨著 - 电影《敌对分子》（*Hostiles*，2017） - 小说《血色子午线》（*Blood Meridian*，考麦克·麦卡锡著） ### [03:33:36](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12816s) 科曼奇人、定居者的惨烈历史与泰勒·谢里丹的新剧几人从莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥主演的电影《花月杀手》（Killers of the Flower Moon）切入，澄清该片讲述的是欧塞奇族（Osage）的故事，而非科曼奇人（Comanche）。随后话题转向了 S. C. 格温（S. C. Gwynne）的名作《夏月帝国》（*Empire of the Summer Moon*）。乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）指出，科曼奇人当年牢牢统治着德克萨斯和俄克拉荷马一带，外人根本寸步难行。当时政府所谓的“宅地法”分配土地完全是把移民往火坑里推——信誓旦旦地对移民许诺“给你十万英亩土地”，结果举家迁过去不到五个月，一家老小就可能惨遭斩首。提到泰勒·谢里丹（Taylor Sheridan）正计划将《夏月帝国》改编为影视剧时，肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）和马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）开玩笑担心他会不会把片子“拍得太基”，罗根则力挺谢里丹在《1883》中的写实风格。罗根盛赞《1883》是描绘当年移民大篷车穿越印第安领地最真实的作品，那些来自丹麦等地的欧洲拓荒者完全是被谎言骗到了险境。这一段血泪史中最传奇的莫过于辛西娅·安·帕克（Cynthia Ann Parker）与她的儿子夸纳·帕克（Quanah Parker）： - 辛西娅·安·帕克在 9 岁时遭遇科曼奇人袭击，全家被屠杀，她本人被掳走抚养长大，后来嫁给了科曼奇酋长。 - 她的儿子夸纳·帕克成为了科曼奇历史上最后一位伟大的酋长，作战极为凶悍残暴，杀伐无数。 - 罗根感叹自己几天前在德州开车时还路过了以他命名的“夸纳·帕克路”（Quanah Parker Lane），令人唏嘘历史的吊诡。 --- ### [03:35:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=12956s) 历史雕像的拆除争议与离谱的球星雕塑众人由夸纳·帕克的凶悍事迹聊到当代对待历史人物的态度。肖恩和罗根调侃说，如果真要较真道德去推倒所有沾满鲜血的历史人物雕像，“那你最好别深究任何历史”。人类只能接受过去的残酷，并在漫长的过程中学着变成更好的人。几人开始琢磨那些被拆除的邦联将军雕像（例如石墙杰克逊，Stonewall Jackson）到底被运去了哪里，打趣说可能被堆在仓库里，或者熔化重铸成了奇奇怪怪的东西。随后话题跳跃到了当代翻车的公共艺术品上： - 梅西（Lionel Messi）的一座雕像因为把大力神杯摆放的位置过于靠下，正对着裆部，从背后或者特定角度看极其尴尬，像极了把生殖器露在外面； - 著名球星 C罗（Cristiano Ronaldo）那座脖子极粗、面部表情诡异扭曲的铜像也再次被提出来群嘲。 --- ### [03:37:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13020s) 丹尼尔·布恩的荒野求生传奇罗根纠正了自己把丹尼尔·布恩（Daniel Boone）口误说成大卫·克罗克特（Davy Crockett）的错误，随后绘声绘色地讲述了布恩当年不可思议的硬汉经历。布恩在荒野中建立了布恩斯伯勒（Boonesborough）堡垒，长期遭受原住民的围攻： - 他的女儿被绑架后，布恩孤身一人追踪深入敌营，不可思议地干掉绑匪救回了女儿。 - 后来布恩在河边熬制食盐时被俘虏并戴上铁锁，在被押解途中他瞅准机会逃脱，为了防止被追踪足迹，他全程只踩在岩石上行走。 - 逃回堡垒后，布恩立刻组织防御，顶住了印第安战士连续九天的狂暴围攻与纵火，直到民兵部队赶来支援才最终解围。 --- ### [03:38:20](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13100s) 蒙古铁骑、成吉思汗与弓箭杀伤力对比起几百年前拓荒时期的血腥残酷，大家感慨现代人能生活在 2026 年是多么幸运，现在的人稍微遇到航班延误或酒店条件差就怨天尤人。罗根提到丹·卡林（Dan Carlin）的殿堂级播客《硬核历史》（*Hardcore History*）中长达五集的《汗的愤怒》（*Wrath of the Khans*），直言听完后彻底对成吉思汗（Genghis Khan）着迷： - 蒙古人在 1200 年代的生活环境极其严苛，在帐篷里穿着鼠皮衣服，把所有不这样生活的人视为异类。 - 成吉思汗出生时手里紧握着一个血块，幼年时因同父异母的兄弟偷拿渔获，便和弟弟用弓箭将其射杀。当马克·诺曼德对“弓箭居然真能杀人”表现出童年夏令营玩具弓箭带来的轻视态度时，罗根严肃指出弓箭是蒙古骑兵征服欧亚大陆的绝对杀器，并立刻邀请马克到播客工作室后面的室内射箭场当场体验现代弓箭的恐怖威力。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 荒野边疆冲突与历史传奇演进 accDescr: 展示从科曼奇领地冲突到丹尼尔·布恩与成吉思汗的历史叙述流向 subgraph Frontier["北美边疆历史"] A["美国政府欺骗性分配土地"] --> B["科曼奇领地残酷冲突"] B --> C["夸纳·帕克崛起成为末代酋长"] D["丹尼尔·布恩建立堡垒"] --> E["孤身营救女儿并逃脱追捕"] E --> F["堡垒九日围攻战"] end subgraph Ancient["古代征服史"] G["丹·卡林《硬核历史》"] --> H["成吉思汗残酷崛起"] H --> I["蒙古骑射力量横扫欧亚"] end ``` --- ### [03:40:02](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13202s) 政坛老人的胡言乱语与古代军队的同性情谊谈话中马克把 Dan Carlin 和某种同性恋电影节搞混，引发了一场爆笑的“麦康奈尔式断电卡壳”（Mitch McConnell moment）。众人顺势聊起美国政坛年迈议员的健康与状态： - 调侃米奇·麦康奈尔是否还活着，甚至笑称他可能躺在床上被人抓着手签字通过法案。 - 提到林赛·格雷厄姆（Lindsey Graham）的相关新闻与传闻，马克分享了自己在查尔斯顿演出时拿格雷厄姆开涮的经历，当地观众虽然投票给他，但也忍不住跟着起哄大笑。话题进而延伸到南方文化特有的“儒雅温和”（gentile）与外形刻板印象，最后罗根将话锋一转，引出军事历史上的一个奇特现象：古代军队（如斯巴达战士）常年在野外扎营征战、一走就是数年，全由男性组成的封闭集体中不可避免地催生出大量的同性关系与纽带。肖恩对此提出不同看法，开玩笑说自己绝不会被电影《300勇士》的滤镜所蒙蔽。 ### [03:42:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13324s) 电影《300勇士》、古希腊性观念与现代视角的投射几位主持人围绕扎克·施奈德执导的电影《300勇士》展开热烈讨论。他们调侃电影删除了历史上斯巴达人之间同性情谊的元素，但镜头里全员剃光胸毛、油亮紧绷的健美肌肉造型反而散发着一种奇特的同性暧昧感，甚至像职业摔角手一样刻意修剪体毛。马克·诺曼德随口提到古希腊人甚至没有“同性恋”这个词，因为这种行为在当时实在太普遍了。为了查证这一说法，他们现场在 Perplexity 搜索引擎中输入查询。搜索结果证实了这一点：古希腊语中确实没有与现代身份认同名词“Gay”直接对等的单一中性词汇。在古代，性行为更多是通过具体的行动、社会角色或特定依附关系来界定，而非固定的性取向标签。谢恩·吉利斯借此吐槽了现代人对历史的过度解读倾向，指出当代历史叙事往往喜欢 retroactive 地给所有人贴标签，“大家总喜欢回过头说：‘他们当年全是同性恋！你知道那个部落是由女性掌权的吗？当年所有人都是同性恋，亚伯拉罕·林肯也是同性恋。’拜托，闭嘴吧。” - 古希腊性观念注重行为角色与权力阶层划分，而非现代意义上的固有性取向。 - 亚历山大大帝与赫费斯提翁等历史人物的关系常被现代流行文化重新赋予现代同性恋身份定义。 --- ### [03:43:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13426s) 巴布亚新几内亚的仪式、传教士与《北欧人》话题随后转向人类学中极端且骇人听闻的部落仪式。乔·罗根提到了巴布亚新几内亚某些原始部落（如桑比亚人）残存的传统成年礼。在这些文化中，年仅六岁的小男孩会被强行从父母身边带走，交给成年的部落男性战士抚养。部落观念认为男童要想成长为强壮的战士，必须通过口腔或直肠吸收成年男性的精液，这一严苛而残酷的仪式会代代相传，直到基督教传教士携带现代文明与枪炮涉足当地，强行勒令终止这些习俗。谢恩·吉利斯幽默地感叹道：“男人真的太恶心了，如果把我们单独扔在一边不管，我们就会互相乱搞。”马克·诺曼德则提到自己在前一晚观看了电影《北欧人》（The Northman），看到维京时代原始残酷的野蛮血腥与混乱，由衷感叹道：“谢天谢地基督教及时出现了，把这些东西彻底砸碎。” --- ### [03:44:52](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13492s) 底比斯圣队与斯巴达军队的混淆，以及伊朗的变性法案 AI 随后生成了一条关于普鲁塔克历史记载的片段，提到由高尔吉达斯（Gorgidas）挑选的 300 名精锐战士完全凭才能与战力选拔，由 150 对男性伴侣组成，每对均由年长的“爱者”（Erastes）和年轻的“被爱者”（Eromenos）结对搭档。雅典娜乌斯（Athenaeus）也记载过这支由恋人组成的部队，他们在战场上誓死守护彼此，宁可战死也不愿苟且偷生。谢恩·吉利斯立刻敏锐地指出，这实际上是著名的“底比斯圣队”（Sacred Band of Thebes），而非斯巴达的温泉关 300 勇士。谢恩要求查看引用来源，发现那本书出版于 2002 年，他再次强调当代学者往往过度将古代少男之恋（如苏格拉底时期的风气）放大为全民同性恋军团。他们还探讨了罗马帝国、日本武士道以及现代阿富汗“跳舞男孩”（Bacha Bazi）的现象。随后乔·罗根再次查询斯巴达军队本身，确认古代斯巴达人并没有排他性的同性恋军队编制，男性仍被强制要求娶妻生子以延续城邦公民人口。几人接着聊起伊朗独特的法律现状：在伊朗，同性恋会被判处死刑，但政府却在宗教裁决下全额资助变性手术，导致许多同性恋为了保命合法生活而选择成为跨性别女性。 --- ### [03:47:22](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13642s) 演出安排、体力恢复与罗根的“尼安德特基因” 随着节目的进行，几人开始商讨录制结束后的行程。此时时间大约是下午五点，马克·诺曼德当晚七点或八点在喜剧俱乐部有专场演出，而乔·德罗萨（Joe DeRosa）也即将赶来与众人聚会畅饮。大家陷入了是先去吃晚饭、去酒吧，还是直接去俱乐部后台喝酒助兴的热烈讨论中。谢恩·吉利斯惊叹于乔·罗根惊人的身体恢复速度，直言罗根在宿醉和高强度生活下的精力恢复简直“可疑得像个怪物”。罗根笑着自嘲道：“我来自不同的时代，我的基因就像加拉格尔（Gallagher）或里克·斯普林菲尔德（Rick Springfield）。我体内有原始人的基因，我身上流着大量的尼安德特人基因，这是铁打的事实。”诺曼德原本打算中途休息，但面对热络的气氛，最终决定硬抗疲惫赶场。期间诺曼德提到当晚托尼·欣奇克利夫（Tony Hinchcliffe）和伊恩·爱德华兹（Ian Edwards）也会同台演出，大家盛赞伊恩是一位被严重低估的优秀脱口秀演员，并调侃身为严格素食者的伊恩“几乎不吃蔬菜，全靠光合作用和空气活着”。 --- ### [03:49:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13744s) 偷拍恶作剧回忆与尼古丁袋带来的失眠惨剧话题转到了旅途中的搞笑互整经历。乔·罗根回忆起以前和伊恩·爱德华兹一起巡演时，因为伊恩体能虚弱总在飞机上睡觉，罗根每次都偷拍他熟睡的样子；然而有一次罗根在飞机上张大嘴仰头昏睡，反被伊恩抓拍到了极其滑稽的视频。阿里·夏菲尔立即笑着坦白，自己当年也抓拍过罗根在飞机起飞前张嘴大睡的照片，并发推特配文“大家请自便进行 P 图”。那次恶搞引发了全网狂欢，宛如当年著名的贾斯汀·萨科（Justine Sacco）推特风暴，等飞机飞行五小时落地后，罗根手机里已经充斥着上千张各色网友精心制作的恶搞表情包。紧接着，乔·罗根苦笑着分享了自己前一晚极度痛苦的失眠经历。平时的他随时随地都能秒睡，但昨晚在床上辗转反侧、心跳剧烈，整夜只睡了两个小时。排查原因后，罗根才意识到自己昨晚在录制时一边聊天大笑一边疯狂吃尼古丁袋（Nicotine Pouches）： > “我昨晚整整含了 20 个尼古丁袋。至少 20 个！这太疯狂了。当时我们玩得很开心，一直在大笑讲段子，我就一个接一个不断扔进嘴里。等深夜回到家，我想睡了，结果心脏砰砰狂跳，整个人彻底清醒无比。” 几位喜剧演员纷纷附和，表示尼古丁袋提神效果极其强劲，最初含上的 25 到 30 分钟往往会让人感到剧烈的心悸和不适，必须通过长期使用才能建立起耐受度。 ### [03:50:20](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13820s) 尼古丁袋成瘾与咖啡因戒断反应大家聊起了现在随处可见的尼古丁袋（Zyn）。马克·诺曼（Mark Normand）和乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）注意到，纽约大街上几乎每个 20 到 50 岁的成年男性裤袋里都鼓着一个标志性的圆形小盒子。虽然很多人声称尼古丁是世界上最容易上瘾的化学物质之一，但马克和乔都分享了各自并没有严重戒断症状的体验。马克提到自己去度假时根本没带尼古丁袋，也没有出现任何手抖或难以自拔的抓狂渴望；乔也坦言自己理解这种心理依赖的吸引力，但生理上的瘾性似乎因人而异，有些人抽一根烟就能收放自如。对于乔·罗根来说，唯一真正让他体验到痛苦戒断反应的反而是咖啡因。他回忆起以前在洛杉矶写段子时，经常在便利店和酒水店买一种含有极高浓度咖啡因的怪异汽水。那种饮料罐身上画着骷髅标志，颜色发蓝，甚至还加了辣酱等乱七八糟的成分，喝起来就像“死亡汽水”。乔当年成箱成箱地买，每次写稿都要猛喝。后来他决定暂时戒除咖啡因，结果立刻遭遇了极为剧烈的偏头痛。这让他得出结论：“戒断头痛教会了你什么？教会了你别轻易戒掉。” - 乔戏称这种戒烟逻辑就像菲德尔·卡斯特罗（Fidel Castro）：医生曾告诫每天抽 50 支雪茄的卡斯特罗必须减量，卡斯特罗的回应则是让人制作一根巨大无比的雪茄，坚称“我一天只抽一支”。（随后众人讨论这到底是卡斯特罗还是温斯顿·丘吉尔的典故）。 - 聊到雪茄品质时，马克好奇古巴雪茄是否真的名不虚传。乔指出如今多米尼加和尼加拉瓜出产的雪茄品质极佳，而古巴雪茄由于市场假货泛滥，加上传闻中被外资收购后为了迎合巨大的虚荣消费市场而降低了原料品质与品控，早已不再是不可替代的顶峰。 --- ### [03:52:23](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=13943s) 禁忌盛宴、权力极化与活人祭祀的起源谈话顺势转入了对稀缺、昂贵与禁忌事物的人类欲望。乔提到在中国曾有极具争议的餐厅会在特定季度或半年一次的特殊聚餐中提供各种濒危野生动物菜单，比如大猩猩等各种猎奇食材。众人探讨道，当财富和权力膨胀到某种极致时，人类最黑暗的欲望往往会走向最绝对的“禁忌”——比如针对未成年人乃至食人的可怕传闻。马克提到在杰弗里·爱泼斯坦（Jeffrey Epstein）相关档案中出现过关于“肉干”（jerky）这种令人毛骨悚然的隐语，暗示在毫无制约的超级特权阶层深处，任何反人类的邪恶行径都可能在暗中上演。大家随后梳理了人类历史上普遍存在的活人祭祀现象。虽然大众文化（如好莱坞电影）普遍喜欢渲染“向火山投掷处女”的情节，但通过实时检索与常识辨析，众人发现“处女献祭”在很大程度上是后世文学创作、神话传说以及基督教文化融入后的艺术加工与现代叙事，在古代真实的祭祀历史中，被害者往往只是奴隶、贫民或被征服的部落战俘，并无确凿证据证明古代社会专门只挑选女性处女。乔感叹自人类文明诞生之初，杀人献祭就作为一种换取风调雨顺、神明庇护和财富繁荣的极端宗教迷信而普遍存在。 - 戴夫·查普尔（Dave Chappelle）关于艾滋病起源的经典单口喜剧段子被提及：调侃有人竟然能按住活生生的猴子交配，痛陈“猴子会像折断芹菜杆一样把你的下体折断”。 - 玛雅文明的残酷处决仪式：在玛雅遗迹中，征服者会把战败的敌方首领绑在一个巨大的圆形石轮上，然后从数百码高的建筑顶端直接推落滚下，以此虐杀对手；如果受刑者侥幸未死，还会被视为奇耻大辱。 --- ### [03:55:40](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14140s) 阿兹特克大神庙祭祀规模与西汉姆争议话题聚焦到了美洲大陆上规模最庞大的阿兹特克文明祭祀仪式。乔·罗根提到，当阿兹特克人举行特诺奇蒂特兰大神庙（Templo Mayor）的落成与重新祝圣大典时，在短短数天内被屠杀献祭的人数震惊了后来的西方史学家。乔起初随口提到记录者是迪亚兹（Bernal Díaz del Castillo），随后通过现场使用 Perplexity 检索核实，修正该记录出自 16 世纪多明我会修道士迭戈·杜兰（Diego Durán）。杜兰在文献中记载，在公元 1487 年阿兹特克为大神庙重新祝圣举行的为期四天的仪式中，共有多达 80,400 人被残忍献祭。尽管现代历史学家普遍认为 8 万这个数字极度夸张、缺乏确凿统计依据，其他早期文献如《泰莱里亚诺-雷曼西斯手抄本》（Codex Telleriano-Remensis）记载的文本数据为 4,000 人（通过象形图画配合文字解释推算可能达到 20,000 人），而另一位编年史家胡安·德·托尔克马达（Juan de Torquemada）则记录为 72,000 人左右。但无论历史学家如何争论细节真实性，成千上万人在几天之内被活活挖心屠杀的事实是无可争议的。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 阿兹特克大神庙1487年献祭人数史料分歧 accDescr: 对比16世纪各方文献与现代史学对大神庙落成献祭人数的不同估计 subgraph 历史文献记载 ["16世纪历史文献记载"] Duran["迭戈·杜兰 (Diego Durán) 记载：4天内约 80,400 人"] Torq["胡安·德·托尔克马达 记载：约 72,000 人"] Codex["泰莱里亚诺手抄本 文本：4,000 人 / 图像推算：20,000 人"] end subgraph 现代史学共识 ["现代历史学研判"] Critique["普遍质疑 8 万人数据的物理与组织可行性"] CoreFact["一致认定：数天内数以万计战俘遭受残酷屠杀"] end Duran --> Critique Torq --> Critique Codex --> Critique Critique --> CoreFact ``` - 乔指出了关于阿兹特克文明的一个惊人冷知识：阿兹特克人并非墨西哥谷地许多宏伟金字塔和复杂建筑群的最初建造者；他们迁徙到该地时，许多巨型金字塔早已有上千年的历史，当时已完全被茂密的热带丛林所掩埋。 - 阿兹特克人砍倒丛林、清理遗址并定居下来，将其尊称为“众神诞生之地”（特奥蒂瓦坎）。 - 众人对比了臭名昭著的西班牙宗教裁判所（Spanish Inquisition）在漫长历史中执行死刑的全部人数，直言其残忍程度与阿兹特克帝国在短短几天内集中屠杀的人数相比，其规模甚至难以望其项背。 ### [03:58:45](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14325s) 美墨历史与拉美独立英雄对话从梅尔·吉布森导演的电影《启示录》（Apocalypto）切入，大家一致盛赞这是一部极其震撼的神作，并感叹当年的墨西哥及其原住民文明是何等原始狂野。随后，话题转向了美洲历史的演变。众人讨论起在墨西哥正式建国之前这里的称呼，并提到墨西哥在独立后拥有一大片土地，其中得克萨斯在 1821 年至 1836 年间归属于墨西哥，后来又在美墨战争中轻易丢掉了加利福尼亚。Shane Gillis 和 Joe Rogan 特别推崇詹姆斯·K·波尔克（James K. Polk）总统，赞扬他是美国历史上最强横、最能打的总统之一（波尔克吞并了将近全国三分之一的领土），甚至认为他和安德鲁·杰克逊（Andrew Jackson）都算得上是排名前列的猛人。随后 Shane 提到了南美洲的独立领袖西蒙·玻利瓦尔（Simón Bolívar）。大家惊叹玻利瓦尔在 19 世纪初席卷整个拉丁美洲的革命壮举，并提到了他手下勇猛过人的苏克雷将军（General Sucre）以及桑坦德尔（Francisco de Paula Santander）。大家开玩笑说玻利瓦尔当年简直如同野兽一般，一路高歌猛进推翻殖民统治，开创了南美革命的历史进程。 --- ### [03:59:53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14393s) 巴里·希尔与米纳镇运毒阴谋紧接着，众人脑洞大开地讨论起如果美国当年不干涉哥伦比亚毒枭巴勃罗·埃斯科瓦尔（Pablo Escobar）会怎样。大家打趣说：“就让那孩子自己折腾呗（Let the boy rock）。”但随后 Rogan 指出，美国官方绝不可能放任别人赚走那么大一笔巨款而自己不分一杯羹，甚至美国本身就在深度参与其中。话题随即顺理成章地引出了巴里·希尔（Barry Seal）以及阿肯色州米纳镇（Mena, Arkansas）的走私黑幕。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: Barry Seal Smuggling and Mena Cover-up accDescr: Diagram illustrating Barry Seal's drug smuggling operation in Mena Arkansas and the subsequent cover-up. subgraph Operation["空投运毒链条"] A["巴里·希尔驾驶飞机走私可卡因"] --> B["向地面空投带有降落伞的毒品包裹"] B --> C["降落后前往特定地点回收物资"] end subgraph Incident["意外与灭口"] B --> D["两名当地少年意外撞破毒品交接地点"] D --> E["少年遭利刃杀害并将尸体遗弃于铁轨"] E --> F["官方声称吸毒昏睡引发事故"] F --> G["父母自费尸检证实身中多处刀伤"] end subgraph Exposure["丑闻升级"] G --> H["米纳镇空运毒品网络彻底曝光"] H --> I["希尔拟转做污点证人出庭指证"] I --> J["开庭前希尔遇刺身亡，口袋留有老布什电话"] end ``` Rogan 详细讲述了巴里·希尔作为 CIA 招募的飞行员向美国境内偷运毒品的内幕（即电影《美国行动》所改编的真实事件）。在当时担任阿肯色州州长的比尔·克林顿（Bill Clinton）任内，大量的毒品正是经由米纳镇入境。整起丑闻之所以败露，起因是两个孩子无意间撞见了空投的毒品包裹，随即被残忍灭口并横尸于铁轨上；官方起初谎称孩子是因吸毒过量昏睡在铁轨上被火车撞死，但悲痛的父母自费进行尸检，最终发现了骇人的刀伤，由此撕开了整个米纳运毒黑幕的一角。然而，当巴里·希尔准备转为污点证人出庭指证时，却在路上遭到暗杀身亡，而当时他的口袋里甚至揣着乔治·H·W·布什（老布什）的私人电话号码。 - 汤姆·克鲁斯在电影《美国行动》（American Made）中饰演了巴里·希尔，众人调侃阿汤哥帅气英俊，而真实的巴里·希尔体型臃肿甚至可以用“丑陋”来形容。 - 尽管联邦调查官方声称没有确凿证据表明克林顿直接参与，但好莱坞敢在商业大片中直接展现克林顿保释希尔的桥段且从未被起诉，这在 Rogan 看来已经是“不打自招”的最佳明证。 --- ### [04:02:18](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14538s) 播客尾声的饥饿与英美生活吐槽聊到高潮处，大家突然意识到这场播客录制已经进行了整整四个小时。Shane 和 Mark Normand 连连喊饿，纷纷嚷着需要补充碳水化合物，因为大家待会儿还要去见喜剧演员德罗萨（Joe DeRosa），晚上还有演出安排。在讨论去吃什么的过程中，话题短暂拐到了英国糟糕的生活品质上。大家吐槽英国的食物只有像血布丁、稀粥或豆子那样难以下咽的牢饭，甚至连租个公寓都困难重重；而相比之下，非法入境美国甚至还能享受免费医疗和领到手机。Mark Normand 提到喜剧演员安德鲁·舒尔茨（Andrew Schulz）曾问他是否想念纽约的房地产，Mark 毫不犹豫地承认自己非常怀念纽约那种充满了摩擦与混乱的市井烟火气，坦言自己就是离不开那种生机勃勃的混沌感。 --- ### [04:03:33](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14613s) 往昔总统轶事与特朗普的生活习惯大家随即重新聊回比尔·克林顿。Shane 提到了最近网上爆火的一个时代对比梗：如果当年的莱温斯基丑闻发生在今天，按照年龄推算，女方相当于是一个 2004 年出生的女孩，而克林顿则出生于 1977 年——这种年龄鸿沟在当下来看是极其疯狂且令人震惊的。众人感叹在互联网普及之前，总统们的私生活完全是毫无拘束、肆无忌惮的法外之地。 - **林登·约翰逊（LBJ）的狂放**：林登·B·约翰逊总统以前经常在上厕所大便时不关隔间门，任由记者们站在马桶门外向他提问，这在当时几乎是家喻户晓的公开事实。 - **唐纳德·特朗普（Donald Trump）的健怡可乐**：Mark Normand 提到网上流传特朗普曾经在一场午餐中一小时猛喝了 14 罐健怡可乐（Diet Coke）。虽然 Rogan 纠正根据更靠谱的新闻报道，特朗普是每天喝 12 罐，并奉劝 Mark 别总把社交平台 Reels 刷到的短视频当成事实，但大家依然对 80 岁高龄的特朗普能维持这种生活节奏感到惊叹。 - 大家还提到 6 月 14 日特朗普刚满 80 岁生日，当时 UFC 在白宫附近的活动也是为了配合他的生日时间而没有安排在传统的独立日假期。 --- ### [04:05:16](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14716s) 阶层脱节与 Shane 的迈巴赫豪车众人聊到当一个人的财富或年龄达到极端状态时，就会彻底失去对普通大众生活的共情与理解。Ari Shaffir 和 Rogan 趁机拿 Shane Gillis 开涮，指出随着 Shane 的事业暴红和财富暴涨，他也正在逐渐脱离普通老百姓的阶层。Shane 刚试图辩解称自己还能跟大众产生共鸣，结果冷不防自爆了一件极其尴尬的糗事——他买了一辆迈巴赫（Maybach）。原来前不久一棵大树砸烂了 Shane 原来的爱车，随后 Rogan 便带着 Shane 去了奔驰 4S 店。Rogan 凭借自己对车型的狂热了解，当场让店员闭嘴由他亲自给 Shane 推销奔驰 S 级轿车。原本 Shane 只打算买一辆低调实用的本田雅阁（Honda Accord），但在 Rogan 的强烈蛊惑和洗脑下，Shane 一路升级配置最终提了一辆奢华至极的迈巴赫。Shane 极其窘迫地自嘲道，迈巴赫本来就是专门给有专属司机的富豪坐后排享用的车，结果自己却像个专职司机一样天天开着一辆带有极致后座的豪车在路上跑；而且刚买完车他就离开奥斯汀去巡演了一个月，等一个月后回来坐进车里时，他忍不住反问自己：“我到底在干什么？买这玩意儿真是太丢人显眼了。”但 Rogan 则坚持认为这辆车平顺得像蝙蝠车（Batmobile）一样酷炫，绝对物超所值。 ### [04:06:52](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14812s) 特雷西·摩根的豪车与纽约街头驾驶体验几位嘉宾边看屏幕边闲聊起喜剧演员特雷西·摩根（Tracy Morgan）在经历了严重车祸索赔后拥有的巨额财富与奢华跑车收藏。有人开玩笑说这是“沃尔玛赔偿金”，也有人调侃他在双骰子赌桌上赢了大钱。屏幕上展示了特雷西·摩根驾驶法拉利以及兰博基尼敞篷版（Roadster）穿梭在纽约时代广场等闹市区的画面。众人感叹在纽约开这种超跑简直不可思议，不仅路况极度拥堵难开，停车也是个巨大的噩梦，纷纷吐槽“每次去纽约都会觉得这地方太疯狂了，谁能受得了在这里开车”。随后话题转向马克·诺曼德（Mark Normand）自己的座驾。马克提到他仍留着那辆产自 1973 年的老款宝马 2002（经典的“Roundie”圆形尾灯版）。他得意地表示前几天刚开过，性能极佳，从未出过毛病，并且他还像个老派美国人一样在院子外用水管、水桶和海绵自己洗车。当被问到车况时，马克随口承认这辆手动挡的老车“没有空调，没有车辆登记，也没有上保险，完全是在‘违法驾驶’（riding dirty）”。 - 特雷西·摩根在纽约市区驾驶兰博基尼敞篷跑车，引发关于纽约拥堵与停车难的吐槽。 - 马克·诺曼德仍保留着一辆 1973 年款宝马 2002，虽然车况极好，但他坦承没买车险、没办车辆注册，也没有空调。 --- ### [04:08:14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=14894s) 繁琐的文书工作与美国医疗保险系统的荒谬马克透露自己没给车上保险的原因纯粹是因为“讨厌填表格”，每次面对复杂的表格就会感到头脑一片空白、直接卡壳。在场其他人警告他别在节目里公开承认违法行为，马克甚至透露自己不仅没有车险，连医疗保险也没有。面对众人的震惊，阿里·沙菲尔（Ari Shaffir）和肖恩·吉利斯（Shane Gillis）也表示感同身受，承认面对繁琐的行政官僚表格时都会犯懒想找人代办。马克则半开玩笑地总结了一套自己的歪理：他多年来从没买过健康险，但也从没生过大病，算下来其实省下了成千上万甚至数万美元的保费。这番言论引出了对美国保险体系剥削本质的抨击。他们谈到了路易吉（Luigi）事件以及保险公司故意拒赔正当申请的内幕。肖恩分享了从他人那里听到的行业潜规则：在那些被保险公司拒绝报销的患者中，只有大约 10% 的人会继续申诉维权，因此保险公司的商业盈利模式本质上就是“先一概拒绝，赌你会嫌麻烦自动放弃”。几人随即回顾了上期节目中查到的事实——美国人在私人医疗保险上的开销，其实远远高于建立全民公共医保系统的成本。虽然“私立”听起来更优质，但实际体系却因利益游说集团的绑架而彻底扭曲，导致普通大众背负了极高的财务负担。 --- ### [04:10:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15000s) 西奥多·罗斯福的“公平交易”与资本绑架的政治体制话题从医保失灵进一步延伸到了美国历史与政治体制的恶化。众人提及历史上的总统，肖恩提到了西奥多·罗斯福（Teddy Roosevelt）不仅建立了国家公园体系，还推行了著名的“公平交易”（Square Deal）政策。该政策重点围绕“三个 C”展开：保护消费者（Fair consumer protection）、控制巨型垄断财团（Control of giant corporations）以及保护自然资源（Conservation of natural resources），有力地打击了当时占有巨额财富的 1% 垄断寡头。大家感叹当下的美国正在重新走向这种两极分化的极端境地，急需一位敢于动用行政权力打破现状的领导人。但乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）和肖恩悲观地指出，如今的大财团、巨型跨国公司和超级政治行动委员会（Super PACs）与政治权力盘根错节、利益捆绑极深，任何试图打破这一体系的人很可能会直接遭到肉体消灭。曾经有人寄希望于特朗普能打破体制，但显然并未实现。罗根直言，人性的规律就是统治阶层会逐步将一切引向极权控制，不断攫取更多权力和金钱，而普通人如今连买房、付账单都成了奢望，社会情绪已经紧绷到了“干草叉时代”（pitchfork era）的临界爆发点。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 罗斯福公平交易与现代政治困局对比 accDescr: 展现西奥多·罗斯福历史政策与当今被资本绑架的政治体制之对比 subgraph Historical["历史范例：西奥多·罗斯福公平交易"] A["三个 C 政策核心"] --> B["保护消费者"] A --> C["拆解巨型垄断财团"] A --> D["保护国家自然资源"] end subgraph Modern["现实困境：深层利益捆绑"] E["跨国企业与超级 PAC 资金渗透"] --> F["政治权力深度勾结"] F --> G["住房/医保成本飞涨与生活困境"] G --> H["社会不满达到'干草叉时代'沸点"] end ``` --- ### [04:12:09](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15129s) 监控摄像头泛滥、上西区争议与大学体育 NIL 讨论转到了社会的无孔不入的监控现状。肖恩提到纽约上西区（Upper West Side）有一块区域似乎非常反常地完全没有安装 Flock 车牌识别监控摄像头，并调侃这与该区域居住着大量富裕的犹太人群体有关。阿里立刻反驳，指出该区域很大一部分面积其实是中央公园，而且布鲁克林也有大量犹太人社区，不能一概而论。罗根等人认为这更多是出于富人阶层的特权与隐私保护，同时上东区等传统富人区可能也有类似情况。随后通过搜索核实，纽约市内的摄像头品牌各异，并不全是 Flock 牌，但在过去短短两年内，全美各地已经悄无声息地安装了成千上万个此类监控摄像头。众人感叹整个社会正在步入一个被全面监控的“警察国家”，随处可见的探头让人连去商店都感觉受到全方位注视。在抱怨完社会体制的压抑后，大家试图寻找一些轻松乐观的话题，肖恩提到了即将拉开帷幕的大学橄榄球赛季，但随即又吐槽资本和管理层引入的 NIL（姓名、形象及肖像权商业化，Name, Image, and Likeness）规则正在破坏大学体育原本的纯粹性。 - **Flock 摄像头争议**：短短两年内数十万监控摄像头遍布全美，监控网络的极速扩张引发对隐私侵蚀和警察国家倾向的担忧。 - **大学体育与 NIL**：话题在结尾延伸至大学橄榄球联盟，嘉宾们对 NIL 规则改变大学体育生态表达了初步的关切与不满。 ### [04:14:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15278s) 体育博彩失控、预测市场与乔治·桑托斯的荒谬丑闻话题从大学体育超级联盟的乱象延伸到了如今无孔不入的体育博彩。大家感叹现在连篮球比赛也深陷其中，球员为了迎合盘口甚至故意打假球、控分或刷篮板数据，整个赌博生态彻底失控。然而这种“万物皆可押注”的现状也引出了对预测市场的探讨——既然任何事情都能开盘，是否连下一期“保护我们的公园”（Protect Our Parks）录制时间都会被挂上预测平台？乔证实确实有人在 Polymarket 上为这档播客开设过盘口，甚至之前杰米（Jamie）在录制时随手搜出来过，乔当场警告他立刻关掉网页，以后永远别再打开。因为嘉宾和主持人如果提前得知外面的赌局走势，潜意识里难免会受到操纵，而他们绝对不想被任何赌注所左右。顺着博彩话题，众人提到了声名狼藉的前国会议员乔治·桑托斯（George Santos）。大家调侃起这位满嘴跑火车的前议员：他曾谎称自己是排球队明星、编造各种离奇履历，甚至因涉嫌在预测平台 Kalshi 上进行内幕交易而遭到司法部调查。据传桑托斯曾信誓旦誓声称自己一定会出席某次国情咨文演讲，私下里却反手押注自己绝不会现身，结果他也确实没有出席。众人还爆笑模仿起图尔茜·加巴德（Tulsi Gabbard）在电视采访中质问桑托斯为何连自己是犹太人都要撒谎的名场面——当时桑托斯诡辩称自己不是真正的犹太人（Jewish），只是“带点犹太味”（Jew-ish），生活做派比较省钱罢了。 - **泛滥的下注标的**：球员为特定数据控场、平台为日常事件乃至播客录制排期开设盘口。 - **乔治·桑托斯争议**：因涉嫌在预测市场（如 Kalshi）利用自身行程搞“内幕交易”下注，同时其虚构犹太血统与排球经历等过往劣迹再次被拿来无情嘲弄。 --- ### [04:16:48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15408s) 科技寡头的舆论操控与录音室里的倒酒插曲话题转入严肃的社会反思：互联网是否正是当下人类社会四分五裂的罪魁祸首。尽管大家普遍反感政府过度监管，但面对社交网络挑动对立的恶性循环，众人深感无力。乔·罗根指出，问题在于背后的科技巨头和平台寡头通过制造愤怒和撕裂攫取了天文数字的财富，如今这笔庞大资本已经转化为对政客与社会叙事的绝对控制权。极少数科技精英掌控了塑造社会观念、经济运行乃至制度走向的遥控器，这种操纵在过去完全无法预料。正如现场有人一针见血地讽刺：“他们煽动脱口秀演员们彼此反目成仇、疯狂互咬，归根结底只是为了在信息流里给大众塞更多士力架广告。” 沉重的话题很快被录音室里真实的生理需求打断。有人喝完啤酒和威士忌后急着去上洗手间，大家一边清算彼此到底喝了三杯还是两杯威士忌，一边即兴玩起了“飞瓶接酒”。一人将倒满烈酒的矮脚玻璃杯从桌子那头抛掷过去，另一人险些没接住，手忙脚乱地在半空中捞回酒杯，嘴里还念叨着像是著名橄榄球外接手史蒂夫·拉金（Steve Largent）那样的极限接球，引得全场一阵惊呼与哄笑。 --- ### [04:18:13](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15493s) 弃演狂欢夜：从旧金山的美食美酒聊到满街的“黄金” 随着酒精上头，几位喜剧演员开始盘算当晚的夜生活。大家决定取消原本今晚排定的单口喜剧俱乐部演出，毕竟如果去俱乐部登台，至少得折腾到晚上九点半以后，不如干脆翘掉演出直奔酒吧狂欢。他们谈到圈内好友“边缘人”（The Edge，大家调侃这一绰号是托尼·欣奇克利夫给起的）等人也会一道出来喝几杯。聊到各地的巡演经历，话题自然切入了旧金山（San Francisco）。尽管旧金山近年因治安问题饱受诟病，车窗被砸的警告标志到处都是，但大家依然认可它是一座魅力非凡的城市。那里有顶级的酒吧文化、风情十足的 Tiki 酒吧、出色的中餐，以及北滩（North Beach）一流的意大利美食，而且整个城市非常适合步行穿梭。但话锋一转，众人忍不住吐槽旧金山弥漫在空气中的恶臭——街道上随处可见人类排泄物。有人打趣说，如果你是一只喜欢到处闻气味的拉布拉多或金毛猎犬，旧金山简直就是天堂；它就像一个露天的大公厕，和纽约唐人街盛夏时的酸臭味有一拼。 - **旧金山的两面性**：一方面拥有顶级的餐饮和独特的街区漫游体验，另一方面则被猖獗的砸车盗窃与街头便溺破坏了体感。 - **剧场回忆**：乔提到自己在 2016 年曾在旧金山著名的菲尔莫尔剧场（The Fillmore）录制个人专场《Triggered》，回忆起当时整座城市的秩序还相当完好。 --- ### [04:19:36](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15576s) 街头危机溯源：从里根时代政策到失控的帐篷城面对旧金山如今尝试通过恢复现场演出和夜生活来挽救市容的新市长，众人展开了关于流浪汉危机的追根溯源。乔·罗根认为，单纯搞现场音乐远远不够，必须恢复街道巡逻、清理流浪汉营地，并将患有严重精神疾病的人收治进精神病院提供治疗。这并非一朝一夕之功——城市花了八到十年才堕落至此，彻底扭转可能需要三十年。乔回顾了加州乃至全美流浪汉问题的历史演变：早在里根执政时期（包括其担任加州州长及总统期间），随着精神卫生机构体制的解构，大量患者被直接释放上街自生自灭，流浪汉问题自那时起便已初现端倪。但在很长一段时间内，城市街头并不会公然驻扎大批帐篷；转折点发生在 2016 至 2017 年前后，城市管理开始彻底纵容露营帐篷的出现，2018 到 2019 年急剧恶化，最终在疫情期间呈野火燎原之势。洛杉矶的情况同样惨烈，臭名昭著的贫民窟（Skid Row）蔓延整整 55 个街区，甚至沿着日落大道一路扩散。正当有人讲起自己在旧金山臭名昭著的田德隆区（Tenderloin）入住酒店、向酒店前台打听周边游玩建议的亲身经历时，对话戛然而止。 - **危机演进节点**： - **里根时代**：改变精神病院管理体制，大量患者流落街头。 - **2016—2017年**：城市开始默许街头扎营，帐篷数量显著增加。 - **2018—2019年及疫情期间**：监管彻底失守，露营地全面失控并扩散至全城。 - **洛杉矶现状对比**：流浪汉危机不仅局限于市中心贫民区（Skid Row 占地达 55 个街区），更延伸至核心主干道。 ### [04:22:27](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15747s) 东西海岸流浪汉的风格差异与盐湖城的剧变 Mark Normand 与众人聊起酒店前台女士给出的离奇建议——“出门千万别往右转，只管往左走”，众人调侃这相当于直接把半座城市给屏蔽了，甚至开玩笑说那些流浪汉脖子上是不是戴着电击项圈才有一道看不见的隔离屏障。谈及纽约的现状，大家觉得纽约目前还算稳定，并转述了喜剧演员 Yannis Pappas 的调侃名言：“纽约市的流浪汉之所以没彻底失控，是因为每隔十年左右，我们就会当街烧死一个”，借此让他们“规矩点”。大家笑称纽约的流浪汉至少还会踩着节拍跳踢踏舞，举止颇具戏剧色彩。 ```mermaid flowchart TD accTitle: 东西海岸流浪汉特征对比 accDescr: 对比东海岸与西海岸流浪汉在药物使用与行为模式上的显著差异 subgraph EastCoast["东海岸流浪汉"] E1["主要吸食海洛因"] --> E2["常处于沉睡或昏睡状态"] E2 --> E3["冬季因严寒暂时消失或收敛"] end subgraph WestCoast["西海岸流浪汉"] W1["主要吸食冰毒 Meth 与芬太尼"] --> W2["极具攻击性与亢奋状态"] W2 --> W3["当街尖叫并追逐行人"] end ``` 谈及不同地域的流浪汉群体，众人一致认为东海岸和西海岸有着鲜明差别：东海岸多受海洛因影响，人往往处于昏睡状态，而且一到寒冬就销声匿迹；而西海岸则泛滥着冰毒（Meth），流浪汉极具攻击性，常常尖叫着追赶路人。Shane Gillis 分享了自己在犹他州盐湖城的亲身经历：当年他刚开始讲脱口秀去盐湖城时，还以为那是全美最干净整洁的城市，在去 Wise Guys 喜剧俱乐部的路上还向朋友大肆吹嘘，结果一下飞机就遭遇了十几个流浪汉的追赶围堵。不过他们也提到，摩门教的大本营杨百翰大学（BYU）校园却宛如乌托邦，摩门教徒在维持秩序上绝不含糊。 ### [04:23:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=15830s) 40亿美元流浪汉产业与洛杉矶贫民区的真实数字众人十分不解为何当下两党政客在竞选中极少正面讨论流浪汉危机与芬太尼泛滥问题。Joe Rogan 一针见血地指出，根本原因在于“维持现状背后有着巨大的利益链条”——流浪汉治理早已成为一门暴利产业。加利福尼亚州砸了40亿美元不仅毫无成效，反而让流浪汉人口节节攀升，各大城市全面爆发。Joe Rogan 回忆起2004或2005年拍摄《谁敢来挑战》（Fear Factor）时的经历，当时他在洛杉矶开车走错了路，误入贫民区 Skid Row，眼前整整几个街区密密麻麻全是硬纸板箱搭成的窝棚。随后现场围绕 Skid Row 的规模与统计数据展开了激烈争论： - 现在的 Skid Row 范围已经扩展到骇人的 55 个街区。 - 制作人 Jamie 查阅官方及《洛杉矶时报》数据称：1930年代 Skid Row 约有1万人，而如今仅统计到约 4,400 人。 - Joe Rogan 对此嗤之以鼻，怒斥官方数据撒谎造假，直呼“Jamie 是个该死的联邦卧底”，并调侃这是洛杉矶市长 Karen Bass 编造的自由派口径。 - 随后 Jamie 查到更全面的统计：整个洛杉矶县（LA County）约有 73,000 名无家可归者，其中洛杉矶市占 45,000 人。 - Joe 坚称实际数字远不止于此，可能超过10万人，因为洛杉矶气候温和冻不死人，加上福利优厚，吸引了全美各地的流浪汉慕名而来。 ### [04:27:17](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA&t=16037s) 残酷的社交媒体传言与节目收尾 Shane Gillis 随口提到了网上流传的恐怖传闻：有些毒贩甚至把芬太尼注射到流浪狗身上测试药性纯度，看剂量是否会致死。众人听到后一阵惊呼，感叹社交网络算法推送的内容荒诞而令人不安。随着时间接近傍晚六点，Joe Rogan 宣布本期长达四个半小时的马拉松式对谈正式收工。四位好友在欢声笑语中完成了各自的宣传和道别： - 呼吁观众去 Netflix 观看 Shane Gillis 的自编自演喜剧剧集《轮胎店》（Tires）。 - 调侃给正在英国的 Ari Shaffir 发短信，催他“赶紧滚出英国”，而 Ari 则顺势向英国观众隔空求购蘑菇和大麻。 - Mark Normand 宣传了自己的巡演、两档播客《We Might Be Drunk》和《Tuesdays with Stories!》，以及他在 Netflix 刚刚上线的个人专场《极不高兴》（None Too Pleased）。 - Joe Rogan 提醒大家关注奥斯汀的喜剧母舰俱乐部（Comedy Mothership），并向听众深情道别。 ## Video description Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are comedians, writers, and podcasters. Shane Gillis is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast," creator and star of Netflix's comedy series "Tires," and one half of the sketch comedy duo Gilly and Keeves. Season three of "Tires" is streaming now. https://www.netflix.com/title/81758875 https://www.youtube.com/@MSsecretpod https://www.youtube.com/@GillyandKeeves https://www.mssecretpodcast.com https://www.shanemgillis.com Mark Normand is the co-host of the "Tuesdays with Stories!" and "We Might Be Drunk" podcasts. His latest special, "None Too Pleased," is streaming on Netflix. https://www.netflix.com/title/82155387 https://www.youtube.com/@TuesdayswithStories https://www.youtube.com/@WeMightBeDrunkPod https://www.youtube.com/@marknormand https://www.marknormandcomedy.com Ari Shaffir is the host of the "You Be Trippin'" podcast. His seven-episode live storytelling series, "The End," is available now from YMH Studios. https://theend.ymhstudios.com https://www.youtube.com/@youbetrippinpod https://www.youtube.com/@arishaffir https://www.arishaffir.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/rogan or through my promo code ROGAN. Get 30% off + 2 free gifts at https://ARMRA.com/rogan [Source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBH4F5a6zAA)

Original transcript

[0:01] Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. [0:04] >> The Joe Rogan Experience. [0:06] >> Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by [0:08] night. All day. [0:12] >> Yes. [0:12] >> Yes, boys. Cheers. [0:15] >> Let's go. [0:15] >> What is that? A boil soda. [0:17] >> Let's go. [0:17] >> Hold on. I need a drink. [0:19] >> What are you doing? Water. Hold on. Hold [0:20] on. [0:21] >> Have a bodega or sorts. [0:23] >> Why do you have water? [0:24] >> Cuz I didn't know we're about to start. [0:25] >> Where the hell? [0:26] >> Yeah. You got beers in there. [0:27] >> Changed. I got you. I'm ready. Let me [0:29] start with a beer and get get moving [0:31] here. I just got off a flight. Thank [0:33] you. Bodig available now. Hey, Gracia. [0:36] What is that? [0:37] >> What is this? [0:38] >> Uh, no. A voodoo ranger IPA. [0:41] >> Oh my god. [0:42] >> Uh, can you give me that ice cube? That [0:44] glass? Yeah. Thanks. [0:45] >> Thank you. [0:47] >> You're not into IPAs? [0:48] >> No. No. [0:49] >> If you're having one or two IPAs? [0:50] >> I used to be and then I gained like 45 [0:52] lbs in like a month. [0:54] >> It's a milkshake. [0:55] >> It was crazy. [0:56] >> It's a milkshake. I was drinking them [0:57] like Bud Light. I'd get done with the [0:58] show, I'd have [ __ ] 10 IP. This one's [1:00] nice. [1:00] >> They taste great, but they're heavy as [1:02] [ __ ] [1:03] >> Oh, Guinness is the heaviest, right? [1:05] >> I love it. [1:05] >> You can only have a few of those. [1:07] >> They're less calories. [1:08] >> Yeah. [1:09] >> Lower calories in a regular [ __ ] Yeah. [1:11] >> Yeah. Surprising. [1:12] >> That's crazy. I would have never [1:13] guessed. [1:14] >> Yeah. [1:15] >> No, they rule. [1:16] >> Second second only to Bud Light. I would [1:18] have thought it was like super [1:22] >> Hey, I would have thought all the super [1:24] creaminess and everything that it has to [1:26] be like heavy calories. [1:28] >> No, no, no. Vitamins. [1:31] >> So, a Budweiser versus a Guinness. [1:34] >> Bud's way fatter. [1:35] >> Wow. [1:36] >> Oh, yeah. It's all wheat. [1:39] >> Crazy. [1:39] >> Hey guys, let's leave the Annheiser Bush [1:40] family out of this. [1:41] >> Oh, sorry. We've been through enough. [1:44] >> It's a fine product. [1:45] >> We've been through enough, boys. They've [1:47] been through it now. [1:48] >> We miss you. [1:50] >> So, a Miller versus a [1:51] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] Miller. [1:53] >> Is it crazy? This works. It actually [1:54] does. [1:55] >> It does. [1:55] >> Stop it from popping. [1:57] >> Does it actually work? [1:57] >> It does work. [1:58] >> How long you have to do it for? [1:59] >> Uh, I think that was enough. Look at [2:01] that. He threw me a beer. [2:02] >> That's incredible. [2:03] >> Yeah. [2:04] >> I wonder how the [ __ ] that works. And [2:05] who discovered it? [2:07] >> Some serious [2:08] >> little kids opening [ __ ] sodas. [2:10] >> Yeah. Do everything we can. [2:12] >> Back when they didn't have phones, they [2:14] figured out a lot of things. So, you're [2:16] off the nicotine. I think it might [2:17] start. [2:18] >> Yeah. [2:18] >> You got a pouch. You got one on you. [2:20] >> Yeah. You're going to buzz out. Try one. [2:22] I've never done a pouch. It'll light you [2:24] up, dude. I don't mind going to light [2:25] you up. What are we doing here? [2:27] >> I think I'm going to stop because last [2:28] night I couldn't get to sleep cuz I I [2:30] was sitting in the green room and I just [2:31] kept [ __ ] chewing on them and then I [2:33] chewed on one on the way home and then I [2:35] got home and I I turned on the TV for a [2:37] little bit, popped another one in. Each [2:39] one of them is 6 milligrams. It's just [2:41] bang bang bang bang bang. And then when [2:42] it was time to go to bed, I was laying [2:44] in bed. I'm like, "Ah, fuck." [2:45] >> Yeah. [2:46] >> Like it's time to like seven. [2:48] >> Norman, you've never had one? [2:49] >> No. And it burns. [2:50] >> Yeah. You're going to hate that. [2:53] >> Last time you got You're going to [ __ ] [2:55] >> Oh, really? I already [ __ ] [2:57] >> It's going to It's going to burn your [2:58] brains. You're going to get hiccups. Get [3:00] nervous. [3:00] >> Hiccups. Oh, no. The nines. Those like [3:03] nines really give you Lucy's has a nine. [3:07] Nine milligs. [3:08] >> Nine milligram. These are six. These are [3:09] >> all right. All right. But six is a lot. [3:11] >> I like that. And Norman, you do this a [3:13] lot where you'll be like, "I'll do it." [3:14] And as soon as you do it, you go, "Oh, [3:16] [ __ ] Huge mistake." [3:17] >> Like that time you accidentally Molly. [3:20] >> Yeah. The green the green whatevers. [3:23] >> Molly. Molly was wonderful. [3:24] >> Oh, that was a bad night. [3:25] >> That was a I had such a nice night. [3:27] >> I had took the bus home. [3:28] >> You didn't have to do that. You [3:29] panicked. [3:30] >> I panicked. I had to get out of there. [3:31] But I took a bolt bus back to New York. [3:33] >> Bus on Molly. But we both took He was [3:35] like, "I'll do it if you do it." I was [3:36] like, "All right, I'll do it." We both [3:37] took Molly. And then instantly he was [3:39] like, "Why'd we do that? [3:42] Yeah. Well, Big Jay wouldn't stop [3:44] talking. I had to get out of there. [3:46] >> Oh, no. It was too much. [3:49] >> Philadelphia. You took a bolt bus back [3:50] to Philly. [3:51] >> Yeah. Chinatown bus from [3:52] >> Wow. Molly. You can't run around. [3:55] >> Why did you take a bus back? [3:57] >> We were poor. [3:58] >> It's convenient. [3:59] >> It was right there. It was late. [4:00] >> It was like a dollar. [4:01] >> Yeah. [4:01] >> Yeah. [4:02] >> The bus was like a dollar. [4:03] >> It's downtown to downtown, too. It's [4:04] pretty quick. [4:05] >> Yeah. [4:05] >> This is hitting me. [4:06] >> You just got to watch one beheading on [4:07] the sit next to you. This is [4:08] >> going to bug you. Goes quick, dude. Keep [4:10] it in. Don't spit it out. [4:11] >> Like Jason Stathithm on in crank. [4:13] >> Is that a Alp? [4:14] >> No, it's a Zen. [4:15] >> Zast. Yeah, six is a lot. [4:18] >> Woo. I'm wired. [4:20] >> You're going to die. [4:21] >> Let's go. Nwords. I'm cooking. [4:23] >> I'm giving it up. [4:25] >> I'm going to try at least cuz yesterday [4:26] on the podcast I had a bunch and then at [4:29] night I had a bunch and I was like, [4:30] "This is too much nicotine." [4:31] >> She tries sleeping pills. That's what I [4:32] do. [4:32] >> [ __ ] that. You got to stop at 78. [4:35] >> I always can sleep. That's the thing. I [4:37] never have a problem sleeping. I have to [4:38] sleep on a pile of rocks. [4:40] >> Yeah, you do espresso before bed. [4:42] >> Yeah, I have no problem with that. It's [4:43] just that the nicotine gets me. It's [4:45] just too much. [4:46] >> There's so much. They like I read [4:48] something you should only have like 3 [4:49] milligrams or 6 milligrams a day and I [4:51] was like, "What?" [4:52] >> Oh, they're [ __ ] [ __ ] [4:54] >> Shut up. [4:54] >> Yeah, maybe I'm popping them before [4:57] workouts. Popping them while I'm [4:59] shooting my bow. Norman's getting [5:01] nervous. [5:02] >> He's like, "Maybe I started too." [5:04] >> You might want to take it out. [5:05] >> You can take it out. Don't take it out. [5:07] My legs are tingling. [5:09] >> My toes must be twitching. [5:11] >> Yeah, you're going to start sneezing. [5:13] >> All right. How about that WNBA? [5:17] >> Fired up. [5:17] >> Yeah. [5:18] >> That dude who uh wants to qualify for [5:21] the WNBA. What's his name? [5:22] >> Caner. [5:23] >> Yeah. He just did trigonometry. [5:25] >> Oh jeez. [5:26] >> Freedom. [5:27] >> Hilarious. [5:28] >> He's getting into podcasting. [5:30] >> Yeah, of course. Smart move. Look, it's [5:32] a great move for him. They look they've [5:35] they've painted themselves into the most [5:36] looney position where they can't define [5:38] what a woman is. [5:39] >> I like when he went after LeBron. [5:41] >> What did he say? [5:41] >> And he's like, "Hey, you're always [5:42] stopping about human rights. Then you're [5:44] like saying NBA should go to China." [5:45] >> Uh like what what's Come on. [5:48] >> He had a good one a while ago about I [5:50] think the leader of [5:51] >> Turkey. [5:51] >> Uh Turkey. What's his name? [5:54] >> Vergean. [5:55] >> Notori [6:01] that was like his first controversy. [6:03] Yeah, that's when he was like, "Yeah, [6:04] his family had to disown him." [6:05] >> Yeah. Like, you can't come back to [6:06] Turkey. [6:07] >> So, he's like a troll. [6:08] >> No, no, no. He was [6:09] >> kind That was rebel. [6:10] >> Oh, it was badass. [6:11] >> That was a good one. [6:12] >> Okay. This uh thing that he's doing [6:14] where he's pretending that he's a woman [6:15] is very smart. Like, in this day and [6:18] age, we almost need someone that's a [6:21] public figure to do something like that [6:22] to show everyone how ridiculous it is [6:24] that some psychopath can just pretend [6:27] that they're a woman and knock women [6:29] over on the court. [6:30] >> I got to take this out. Norman's [6:31] Norman's a [ __ ] woman, dude. [6:33] >> There's uh what? My belly. [6:36] >> There's some country where there is Oh, [6:38] it's France where there's a transgender [6:40] woman on the team just dominates. [6:43] >> It's a giant dude. A giant dude just [6:45] dominating these chicks. [6:47] >> The ticket sales are up. [6:49] >> I doubt they're not. [6:50] >> No one's talked about more than the last [6:52] two weeks. [6:53] >> What's that? [6:54] >> No one's talked about this league more [6:55] than the last [6:56] >> WBA found it. That's true. Cuz nobody [6:58] cared about the league at all forever. [7:00] This is the guy. [7:01] >> Yo. [7:02] >> Whoa. [7:02] >> Like that's [ __ ] preposterous. [7:05] >> Just literally preposterous. [7:06] >> She's on the B- league. [7:08] >> I don't know. [7:09] >> I don't think she's in the pros. [7:10] >> No, she plays for some France. [7:12] >> French national under under [7:16] >> Wouldn't turn down an offer to play in [7:17] the NBA or WNBA. That's [7:19] >> hilarious. [7:19] >> Why would you want to go where the money [7:21] sucks? [7:22] >> Go for 75 grand a year. [7:23] >> It's a weird thing. Like a really hard [7:25] guy. Got a horrible paycheck. They [7:26] actually got it up. Who's the biggest [7:28] baller in the WNBA? Like, who makes the [7:30] most? I don't know who makes the most, [7:32] but [7:33] >> Clark's got those endorsements. [7:34] >> Asia. Asia Wilson. [7:36] >> She's the best player. [7:37] >> Asia Wilson's the best player. [7:39] >> And the girl with the glasses with the [7:40] poofy hair. She's very good. [7:42] >> Boston. [7:43] >> I don't know. If you said her name, I [7:45] know she's [7:46] >> like, what is what is like top player? [7:48] >> I'm sure their salaries suck, but [7:50] endorsements. It's endorsements. [7:51] >> Yeah. So, Kaitlin Clark is probably the [7:52] highest paid. So the more controversy [7:55] there is, the more people do come to see [7:57] them. So do you think do you think they [7:59] allow them to to foul more now? Because [8:01] >> they went with That's what I was about [8:02] to say. Nobody watched the league [8:04] forever. It hemorrhaged money forever [8:05] and then [8:06] >> the first profitable year last year. [8:09] >> Racial division. They go, "Oo, there's [8:10] money here [8:11] >> and now we got the transgender thing." [8:14] >> Well, the transgender thing is not real [8:15] yet. There's not a real transgender [8:17] person in the WNBA. But there definitely [8:19] some [ __ ] roller derby [ __ ] going [8:21] down. They're throwing those [ __ ] on [8:22] their heads. [8:23] >> I like it. I like it. It's 80s [8:25] basketball. Is Larry Bird gonna knock [8:26] down punching somebody? I might bring a [8:29] whole league of Bill Ambbeers. [8:30] >> Bring that back. [8:31] >> Stephen A. Smith had a real good point [8:32] when he was talking about the comparison [8:34] between Michael Jordan, you know, like [8:36] the athletes of today versus and one of [8:38] the things that he was talking about was [8:39] the physicalness of the game. [8:41] >> Hands off on the stars sucks. Yeah, they [8:43] would. And you watch some highlights [8:45] like showing what it was like Jesus, [8:47] they threw down [8:50] >> when they retired Bill's number, they [8:52] instructed the ushers to cheap shot [8:53] everyone as they're showing their seats [8:55] out of respect. [8:57] >> That's awesome. [8:59] >> Yeah, those guys fought. [9:00] >> Yeah, it got ridiculous. And now the [9:03] WNBA is doing the same thing. [9:04] >> The best was Oakley. They were like, [9:06] break up a fight and at the foul line he [9:07] was just like, hey, they won't let us [9:08] meet me outside though afterwards. Let's [9:10] meet you outside and let's actually do [9:11] it. The crazy thing about the WNBA, [9:14] imagine if the NBA had the same sexual [9:17] dynamic. [9:18] >> Imagine if the the most of the team was [9:21] a bunch of gay dudes [9:23] >> who were like very aggressive and [9:26] black's [9:29] already there. [9:29] >> Do you know what I'm saying? Do you know [9:31] what I'm saying? Imagine if you reverse [9:33] that. If the WNBA was just a bunch of [9:37] straight people playing basketball, no [9:40] controvers, no sex isn't even a thought [9:42] in the NBA. No one thinks about gay [9:44] players in the NBA. In the WNBA, [9:47] >> there's a ton of like out [9:51] >> mostly gay. Mostly big black gay ladies [9:54] >> and uh a few scared looking Sophie [9:57] Cumminghams that have to point fingers [9:58] at people. You're surrounded [10:02] >> like by people who think you're, you [10:04] know, like perhaps sex sexually [10:06] attractive. [10:06] >> And the hedros that come in the the rest [10:08] of them go like, I'm going to turn you. [10:11] >> They try to turn the head. [10:12] >> Wow. [10:13] >> They're like conquest for sure. [10:14] >> They've made it into a reality show. [10:15] It's become like Real Housewives. [10:17] They're all just fight now, right? [10:18] That's the only reason you watch. [10:19] >> But it is an interesting sexual dynamic. [10:22] >> Of course, [10:22] >> cuz imagine if it was like that in the [10:24] NBA, [10:24] >> but this happened with the women's. [10:26] Giant homos. [10:27] >> Just big giant 7 foot tall gay guys. [10:31] >> All right, break it up. [10:32] >> Trying to [ __ ] break it up. [10:34] >> Wild partying going everywhere and [10:37] [ __ ] wearing leather and [ __ ] [10:39] >> Are they do that? [10:40] >> Are they dating? [10:41] >> Very gay. [10:42] >> The NBA [10:46] outfit [10:50] fashion show and they walk into the [10:51] locker room, they all wear the craziest [10:53] [ __ ] outfits. [10:54] >> Hats. [10:54] >> Really? Derby hats. [10:56] >> Yeah. [10:56] >> Wait a minute. What? Oh, yeah. [10:59] >> This is just fashionable. [11:03] >> Black culture. [11:03] >> That's not [11:05] like a muppet. [11:06] >> The shoes and the mask. The mask. [11:09] >> You don't see Larry Bird wearing that. [11:10] >> What is Okay. What's going on? [11:13] This is crazy. He's going to fall. Going [11:14] to step on a stair wrong. [11:16] >> What is that, Clay? [11:17] >> Whoa. [11:19] >> Wait a minute. They really dress like [11:20] this [11:21] >> every game. Is this a big thing? Do they [11:24] get like sponsors for their clothing? Uh [11:26] like a setup [11:27] >> Matt Gala every day. [11:28] >> So you see them walking through the [11:30] hallways. That's the deal. [11:31] >> Pull up Magic Johnson, son, if you can. [11:33] >> Oh jeez. [11:33] >> He's not talking about a wacky outfit [11:37] >> or Dwayne Wade off to a hot start, [11:38] fellas. [11:39] >> Well, just [ __ ] go. We're back. [11:43] >> Look at that. I mean that he's like this [11:45] was not the kind of gay that I was [11:47] talking about. Look at Draymond and the [11:48] cat. [11:49] >> I stumbled upon an Instagram page called [11:52] Comecore. [11:53] What the [ __ ] kid? [11:56] Hardcore music for gay guys. [11:59] >> So, it's gay guys in like little like [12:02] nipple leather straps and jock straps [12:04] and motorcycle hats. Yeah. [12:06] >> You know, barechested hairy and they're [12:08] doing hardcore music and they're just [12:10] talking about sucking dicks and getting [12:12] [ __ ] [12:13] >> Oh boy. [12:14] >> So, that's the kind of gay I was talking [12:16] about. This is just fashionable. [12:18] >> That would be the type of gay you would [12:19] be if you were gay. You'd be a [12:21] >> like a [12:22] >> Yeah, [12:22] >> I bet I'd get bored. [12:24] >> I get bored with it. [12:25] >> I'd probably settle down with some [12:26] twink. [12:27] >> No way. You have to fight. [12:29] >> You'd be You go to come back a lot. [12:33] >> The thing about like the those gay guys [12:35] that don't have kids, all they want to [12:38] do is [ __ ] [12:39] >> Yeah. [12:39] >> Like they just [ __ ] all the time. [12:41] >> You don't have any kids. No one can get [12:42] pregnant. They just [ __ ] all the time. [12:44] >> Sure. I know a guy the commerce store [12:46] good-looking guy and his boyfriend was [12:48] like uh can you just he would cheat all [12:50] the time and he's like can you just not [12:51] give me AIDS [12:53] >> and then and then our friend he goes [12:55] >> I can't promise that [12:57] there goes AIDS doesn't even scare [12:58] anybody anymore [12:59] >> what's worse aids are pregnant question [13:02] >> well a guy gets pregnant you're like [13:04] well you've been lied to you've been [13:06] [ __ ] a fake guy [13:08] >> true [13:09] >> but you got prep now prep is big [13:11] >> but the thing about like trans men like [13:12] they can't get pregnant anymore it's one [13:14] of the side effects. One of the side [13:16] effects of taking all the testosterone, [13:17] it makes them infertile. [13:19] >> Also, trans women potentially no period, [13:21] which I think is an advantage. All these [13:23] other girls have to worry about a [13:25] >> being mean for a week. [13:26] >> Exactly. And they fight. There's no no [13:29] trans period. [13:30] >> But it's male. [13:32] >> That's an advantage of they don't worry [13:34] about having a heavy on top of that, [13:38] you're dosing yourself up with estrogen. [13:40] So like where are you doing it once a [13:42] week? Does is there a spike in your [13:44] estrogen? Then is it dip down? Do you [13:46] get you know do you have balance it out [13:48] between masculine and feminine? [13:50] >> Jamie, depending on your injections, [13:52] >> I see the trash can. [13:53] >> It is. It is. [13:55] >> That means you've been thinking about [13:56] this and I apologize for leaving cans. [13:57] It's [13:58] >> fine. Just [13:58] >> I leave cans every time I leave. You're [14:00] right. I didn't even think about it [14:01] until I noticed you put a trash can [14:03] here. [14:03] >> Don't sweat it, big dog. [14:04] >> But they painted themselves in a corner [14:05] cuz if they don't let the the guy in, it [14:08] looks bad. But if they do, he's going to [14:10] dunk. Well, the thing is, can you define [14:12] what a woman is? And until you can't, if [14:15] you can't define what a woman is, then [14:17] you're an idiot, and this is nonsense. [14:20] And that's what your ideology is. Your [14:22] ideology is so stupid, you can't define [14:24] the difference between a male and a [14:26] female. And so, you've decided that [14:28] people identifying with something means [14:30] it's a real thing, and you have to say [14:31] it because everybody else says it, and [14:33] they scare you, and they'll they'll [14:34] cancel you and go after you. So, [14:36] everyone's agreed to nonsense. So this [14:38] is where we painted ourselves into this [14:40] dumbass [ __ ] corner. [14:41] >> I think everybody kind of [14:43] >> agrees. It's like [14:44] >> even AOC was just talking about how woke [14:48] point 1.0 was crazy [14:51] >> and all the different things that she [14:53] was saying, all the defund the police [14:55] talk that was going on that everybody [14:56] realized that's a ridiculous thing to [14:58] say. [14:59] >> I think both sides on sports are like [15:00] this is a stupid issue. We shouldn't [15:02] that's no we're not going to die on [15:03] that. [15:04] >> Democrats are like it's we're taking [15:05] that off the table. [15:06] >> What do you mean? They're like, "Yeah, [15:08] we I think it's like 80% of Democrats [15:10] don't don't think trans women sports." [15:12] Yeah. [15:12] >> So, it's just the right dunking on the [15:14] left because they're like, [15:15] >> "Yeah, but it was there's a thing where [15:17] those people that are the most radical [15:19] will come after you if you don't agree [15:21] wholeheartedly with their nonsense. So, [15:23] if you say anything like, you know, [15:25] look, trans women aren't women. They're [15:27] men who identify as women, which is [15:29] fine, but there's a biological [15:31] distinction that protects women in [15:32] sports, and that's chromosomes. We know [15:35] XX chromosome, you're a woman. X Y, [15:37] you're a dude. Do it that way. Call [15:39] yourself whatever the [ __ ] you want. But [15:40] if you want to play in the WNBA, you [15:43] have to have XX. And if you want to be a [15:45] [ __ ] Well, look, that's the other [15:47] thing. No one gives a [ __ ] if a trans [15:50] man wants to try and play in the NBA. [15:53] >> Here's something. [15:54] >> No one's No one's trying to stop that. [15:55] That was fun. [15:56] >> Fun. Wait till someone in WNBA comes out [15:59] as a man. [16:01] >> That's the rumor. [16:02] >> That is a rumor. Solid one. Not gonna [16:04] say who, but do they wipe their name off [16:06] the record books? [16:08] >> That's maybe that's why they're holding [16:09] off. [16:09] >> They probably should. [16:10] >> They should. [16:10] >> Well, if you look at Jenn Hall of Fame. [16:13] >> Yeah. And he actually got those stats as [16:15] a player. [16:16] >> If you were like, I was a man the whole [16:18] time. You'd be like, "Oh, yeah. You [16:20] >> Caitlyn Jenner won the Olympics as [16:22] Bruce. [16:23] >> But what happens if you go back to the [16:24] Olympics in 1976?" You won the Olympics. [16:27] >> Wipe it. [16:28] >> Does it say Bruce or does it say [16:30] Caitlyn? [16:30] >> Who's on the waties? [16:31] >> I think Bruce won it. Right. Bruce, I [16:34] don't know. [16:35] >> That's dead naming and that can get you [16:37] killed. [16:38] >> I bet Bruce was like [16:39] >> dead naming can get you It used to get [16:41] you banned from Twitter for life. [16:42] >> Yeah. [16:43] >> Wow. That's not bad. That's a good place [16:45] to be. Actually, [16:46] >> those people should be on there. [16:47] >> Those people are probably doing great [16:48] right now. [16:49] >> A lot better psychologically. [16:51] >> They'll probably have added years onto [16:53] their lives. [16:53] >> It's like banning you from heroin. [16:55] >> It's like that's probably for the best. [16:59] >> Let's [16:59] >> Not even that cuz heroin's fun. I bet. I [17:01] bet heroin's fun. Twitter's never fun. [17:03] >> Twitter's never fun. [17:04] >> I was hoping bought it, he would just [17:07] >> like bury it. [17:07] >> Well, it's more fun. It's more fun with [17:09] him. [17:09] >> It's wilder. [17:10] >> It's wilder. [17:12] >> It's like full on wild west. [17:15] >> They figured out [17:16] >> Yeah. [17:16] >> They're doing something now where when [17:19] people get paid, you have to you can [17:21] only get paid for original or accurate [17:24] content. Because there's people that [17:26] were what they were doing was just [17:27] saying like Shane Gillis murders six in [17:29] a bar and then you make a story. I hear [17:32] five. [17:32] >> You make a story and you post it and [17:34] everybody clicks on it and you get money [17:36] just from a full-on madeup story. And [17:39] there was a ton of those cuz these [17:41] foreign companies would just make [17:43] thousands of [ __ ] fake accounts and [17:46] then maybe millions and then make a [17:48] bunch of fake stories. So there's fake [17:50] stories flooding your timeline and [17:51] you're like what? And you look at it, [17:53] 600,000 views. This must be real. And [17:56] then you click on it, too. So, they're [17:58] making money off it. [17:59] >> A good thing, though, now that all the [18:00] news is fake. [18:01] >> Yeah. [18:02] >> Fight Night is here. 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Call 8887897777 [18:58] or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of bootill [19:01] casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass through [19:02] may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Void [19:04] in Canada. Event contract trading with [19:05] DraftKings. Predictions involves risk of [19:07] loss. Availability varies. Predictions [19:09] offer void in New York. Bet to get bonus [19:11] bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get [19:13] predictions dollars that expire in one [19:14] year. $50 in rewards issued every 7 days [19:16] via click to claim for 14 days. One [19:18] non-withdrawable reward redeemable [19:20] nationwide based on sportsbook [19:21] predictions and free-toplay sports [19:23] contest availability varies by state. [19:25] Terms at dk&ng.co/offer. [19:27] Limited time offer. [19:29] >> Maybe we can stop giving a [ __ ] about [19:30] the news all the time. [19:31] >> It'd be nice. [19:32] >> It'd be nice to [19:33] >> Now I look I see any article I go I [19:35] don't know if that's real. [19:35] >> It's probably fake. I would have no way [19:37] of knowing. [19:39] >> Speaking of which, what are your people [19:40] doing in Argentina? Did you your people [19:42] light Argentina on fire and now they're [19:44] trying to steal it? That's what I heard. [19:46] >> English. [19:47] >> Oh, that's your new people. [19:49] >> He's a red loven [19:53] with Argentino. [19:54] >> You got to pick a side. I don't know who [19:56] you are anymore. [19:57] >> So, they started a fire. [19:58] >> I'm not going to be anti-Semitic. [20:00] >> It's not even anti-Semitic. It's talked [20:02] about policy. [20:06] But [20:09] >> we do love we do love illegal uh [20:11] campfires. [20:12] >> Yeah. They lit they lit it on fire and [20:14] now they're giving a 100,000 hect well [20:16] some Israelis lit this part of Patagonia [20:19] on fire and then they're giving [20:23] >> Chile in Patagonia or Argentina. [20:24] >> Argentina. [20:25] >> Oh, that's [20:26] >> I believe it's Patagonia. I might be [20:28] wrong. But the the point is they lit an [20:30] a gigantic amount of forest on fire and [20:34] now when I was there when I was there [20:37] >> is giving Israel that land. [20:40] >> What do you mean? [20:41] >> What? Fun story. Fun story. [20:42] >> Give it a goo. This is all [20:44] >> When I was there I was lighting I was [20:45] lighting campfires you know and as you [20:47] work your way down at some point they're [20:48] like no campfires in the national park. [20:49] I was like what? And then you would just [20:51] start lighting them and then they go you [20:52] know this whole place burned like seven [20:53] years ago to the ground cuz of [20:55] campfires. I was like [20:56] >> nope. Well, the thing about campfires, [20:58] you're just giving any [ __ ] the [21:00] ability just light fires in the woods. [21:04] >> Feel how crazy that is? It's so [21:06] >> throw a bush in. [21:07] >> There should be way more forest fires. [21:08] >> Put the bench in there. [21:10] >> Would you really think about how stupid [21:11] people are? There should be probably a [21:12] lot more forest fires than there are. [21:14] >> Yeah. [21:14] >> What about Malibu? Was that Was that [21:16] planned? [21:17] >> That was a That was arson. They got [21:19] Yeah, the guy's in jail. They caught him [21:21] trying to get back. That's straight up [21:23] arson. I don't [ __ ] psychopath [21:26] in jail. [21:26] >> I don't know. [21:29] >> He uh was inspired by Luigi. Johnny [21:32] >> really to do something. [21:33] >> Yes. He's inspired by Luigi to light the [21:35] palisades on fire. [21:36] >> Yeah. He was looking all the rich [21:37] houses, right? And going people. [21:39] >> There was a lot of people that were [21:40] lighting things on fire. Um while it was [21:42] while the chaos was happening, people [21:43] were just out there lighting things on [21:45] fire. Huberin caught people on video. He [21:48] caught some Yeah. He caught some guys in [21:50] Malibu on video lighting things on fire. [21:52] They had gasoline. They had [ __ ] [21:54] lighters. They had torches. People were [21:56] just running around lighting parts like [21:58] contributing to it. [21:59] >> Wow. [22:00] >> The question is, is that orchestrated? [22:02] >> No. You've you've empowered a bunch of [22:04] [ __ ] mentally ill people to camp on [22:06] your streets when things go sideways and [22:09] they burn it all to the ground. That [22:10] hurts them zero. And it's fun. [22:12] >> That's what I'm talking about with the [22:13] parks. [22:14] >> Yeah. [22:17] >> We shot some frisbees. [22:18] >> Okay. No one has been publicly [22:19] identified or proven to have started the [22:21] recent Patagonia fires in Argentina. [22:23] Investigators in Chibat have said at [22:25] least one blaze appeared to be [22:26] deliberately set, but the investigation [22:28] has not established a named perpetrator. [22:31] Claims blaming I don't know what that [22:33] word is. Mapuche communities or Israeli [22:36] visitors are unsubstantiated. [22:39] uh Chub Chabat Chabat's chief prosecutor [22:43] said [22:44] >> uh rejected the Mupuche allegation [22:48] >> and reporting saying prosecutors did not [22:51] consider the claims against Israelis a [22:53] credible lead. [22:54] >> Okay, but now here's the question. Did [22:58] they really just give that land to [23:01] Israel? Did they give a 100 hectares or [23:03] whatever that is? [23:04] >> That's that's fake. [23:06] >> They throw Israel in everything. [23:08] >> They really do. Everything leads back to [23:09] Israel. [23:09] >> Is it all fake? [23:10] >> I mean, I just it's everything I look up [23:13] online says. [23:14] >> So, so this is if it is fake. If it is [23:16] fake, this is a perfect example what [23:18] we're talking about. [23:19] >> Wilder example where they create these [23:22] stories. [23:23] >> Yeah. [23:24] >> You know, there's probably something to [23:26] the What is that? [23:27] >> There's stuff on the Twitter that says [23:28] it, but [23:29] >> Okay. What does it say on Twitter? [23:30] >> I mean, I don't know that it's accurate [23:31] or what these accounts are, you know? [23:33] >> Right. What does it say though? From [23:35] Shadow Intel X. [23:36] >> Yeah. So, I don't know. Definitely true. [23:38] Definitely real. [23:39] >> Yeah, it's [23:41] >> But let's uh So, [23:42] >> yeah. [23:43] >> So, here it is. Look at this guy. Is [23:45] that a bot? Dr. Sam Yousef, PhD, PhD, [23:48] DPT. [23:49] >> 760,000 followers. [23:50] >> It might be real. [23:52] >> And what does it say? Argentina exposes [23:55] Israel takeover plan and the government [23:57] is in on it. Uh, Argentinian [23:59] presidential spokesman just blew the lid [24:00] on the secret. What does it say though? [24:02] >> I don't know. Let me [24:03] >> click on show more. [24:06] protected rule and conservative land can [24:08] now be sold to foreign private entities [24:09] once a fire passes through it. See, this [24:11] is the problem. What what I was reading [24:14] in this story was someone design [24:17] >> it can be sold once a fire has passed [24:19] through it. So emojis in it. [24:21] >> They lit it on fire. [24:22] >> It's legit. [24:22] >> Well, once you have emojis, it knows you [24:24] care. [24:25] >> I like that Argentina copied our White [24:28] House press conference room, though. [24:30] >> That's pretty cool. [24:30] >> That's cool. [24:31] >> That's pretty Yeah, we were. [24:32] >> Yeah, we were in there doing press [24:34] conferences, me and Shane and Okconor. [24:35] Yeah, it was good. It was pretty nice. [24:38] >> The White House press conference. [24:39] >> Well, we didn't know we were going to [24:40] go. [24:41] >> We were just We were walking around DC [24:43] >> and then one of Shane CIA friends was [24:44] like, "Do you want to come in?" They're [24:46] like, "Yeah." They were like, "Pus isn't [24:48] here. He's in Tennessee at a [ __ ] UFC [24:50] event." [24:51] >> Yeah. So, they were like, "He's in [24:52] Florida. No snipers are here." So, we're [24:53] like, "Oh, sick." [24:55] >> They're like, "Put us isn't here. He's [24:56] in Florida at UFC." [24:57] >> So, that was the Miami UFC. [24:58] >> That's my guy. [25:00] >> That's my president, y'all. [25:02] >> He's not working. He's at UFC. How wild [25:04] was the UFC at the White House? That was [25:06] wild. [25:07] >> That was insane, right? That was like [25:08] fun. [25:09] >> I'm so glad I talked you into doing [25:10] that. [25:11] >> Yeah, me too. You had to go. [25:13] >> I'm like, this is only going to happen [25:14] one time in jail history. I was like, I [25:16] I shouldn't [ __ ] go. [25:18] >> You were wrestling with it. [25:19] >> There was motorcycles going over the [25:20] floor. [25:21] >> That's what got me. [25:22] >> I was laying on my couch after I [25:23] canceled. I said yes and canceled like [25:25] four times. And then the last time I [25:28] canceled was the day before. And then I [25:29] saw they were doing [ __ ] dirt bikes [25:31] on the front lawn and I was like, I [25:33] gotta see this. [25:34] >> Yeah, I should see this. [25:36] >> We were at the seller and he was like, [25:37] he was like, what should I do? I I don't [25:38] think I should I don't want the heat. [25:39] I'm like, yeah, don't go. He goes, but I [25:41] I don't want to tell him. Let me do what [25:42] to do. I'm like, no, no, don't. No, go. [25:44] >> Yeah, I know. Everyone agreed with me, [25:46] no matter which side you were, like, [25:48] yeah, I see. [25:48] >> I was at the seller and I was like, I [25:49] don't feel like [ __ ] dealing with it. [25:50] Also, [25:52] >> war in Iran are this this is a crazy [25:54] time to be like, I support this. [25:57] Everyone had a great time but Nate [25:59] >> Nate was Nate had a good time. [26:02] >> Well, not later. [26:03] >> Yeah, but he doesn't care. He's not [26:05] reading it. It didn't affect his ticket [26:08] sales at all. All these people saying [26:10] that they canceled. [ __ ] off. He sells [26:12] out two [ __ ] stadiums a night. That [26:14] was a fake one. It was the same [26:15] newspaper writing 10 articles. [26:17] >> Yeah. Well, it's just they they'll go [26:19] after anybody who's even remotely [26:21] connected to that White House. [26:22] >> Also, it's [ __ ] fight. It's just [26:24] sports. [26:25] >> It's just not saying [ __ ] [26:27] I was so happy to see that Gage fight. [26:29] >> Gage is the best. [26:30] >> One of the coolest fights. [26:31] >> The perfect ending. And he beat a guy [26:32] who most people thought was the best [26:34] pound-for-pound fighter in the world. [26:35] >> Really? [26:36] >> Yeah. Tapora is a monster. Two division [26:38] world champion. [26:39] >> Deport is one of the most skillful guys [26:41] that's ever fought in MMA. He's [ __ ] [26:43] good, man. [26:44] >> Oh yeah. [26:45] >> But Gi pulled it off. Pulled it off in [26:47] front of the whole world and then did a [26:49] backflip off the [ __ ] top of the cage [26:51] with the White House behind him [26:53] >> and landed in the middle of the cage. [26:55] >> Yeah. I saw the dirt bikes. I saw the [26:56] practice flyovers. I was like, I got to [26:58] see these [ __ ] flyovers. [26:59] >> Yeah. I just was [27:00] >> It was so sick. [27:01] >> When we were talking, I'm like, "This is [27:02] never going to happen again in human [27:04] history." [27:05] >> Well, apparently Teddy Roosevelt had [27:06] fights on the lawn. Really? [27:08] >> Back in the day. They've had fought with [27:09] his wife. [27:10] >> Well, unless you got a time machine, [27:11] [ __ ] You're never going to see it [27:12] again. [27:13] >> It's funny seeing people weigh in. [27:14] They're like, "It's cage fighting and [27:16] it's like it's human [ __ ] fighting." I'm [27:17] like, "Bro, this it's not a new sport." [27:20] >> You're like these leftwing people are [27:22] just discovering. [27:23] >> So Biden did some wild things in the [27:24] White House lawn. Just saying. [27:25] >> What do you do? They have Easter egg [27:26] hunts. [27:26] >> They had fun. [27:27] >> Well, you remember they had the [ __ ] [27:28] with their titties out? [27:29] >> Something like that. [27:30] >> It's also fun. [27:32] >> They had a bunch of trans ladies with [27:34] their tits out and it was Yeah. What's [27:36] really funny, they took pictures like [27:37] for Instagram with their tits out in [27:39] front of the White House and then people [27:41] were saying that the cage fight is [27:43] desecrating the lawn. Like come on, [27:45] guys. [27:45] >> Dude, if you have a lawn that [27:46] >> both things are ridiculous, but at least [27:49] one thing is cool to look at. [27:51] >> One thing is fun [27:52] >> and the other one is the UFC. Both fun. [27:55] I was trying. [27:57] >> Yeah, I was trying. [27:58] >> He set up the dunk. [28:00] >> All seemed like a fun time. Have fun [28:01] with that lawn. [28:02] >> Fighter jets ruled. The fights ruled. [28:04] >> Bro, the fighter jets were so close to [28:06] each other. That's what freaked me out. [28:08] I was like, if one of these [28:09] >> Did you hear about the terrorist attack? [28:11] >> Oh, yeah. [28:11] >> Yeah. I did I did Bennington's podcast [28:14] the next day and he told me about it. [28:16] >> Oh yeah. And I was like, oh [28:18] >> yeah, dude. [28:18] >> It was elaborate. They had a guy pushing [28:21] people towards one way and then another [28:22] people would [28:24] >> drones bombs on drones. [28:26] >> That uh I don't think that crowd would [28:28] have gone the direction whoever didn't [28:31] would want them to. [28:31] >> Right. [28:32] >> That crowd would have been sprinting [28:34] directly at whoever was shooting the [28:36] craziest group of people. [28:38] >> They would have stomped that dude to [28:39] death. [28:39] >> My section that I was sitting in was [28:41] like 10 Medal of Honor winners. [28:44] >> Oh god. [28:45] >> Waiting for this. [28:45] >> They were like, "Please let there be a [28:47] sniper, dude." They would UFC fighters [28:50] and soldiers. [28:50] >> But you see there was snipers all over [28:52] the roof. Did you notice that? [28:53] >> Yeah. [28:53] >> Yeah. There's snipers all over the [28:54] rooftop. There was guys everywhere. It [28:57] was so heavily protected. It was crazy [28:59] cuz I was like, I don't want to do this. [29:01] I was really like, I don't want to be a [29:02] part of this. This is going to be too [29:03] much of a zoo. Too crazy. I don't like [29:05] it for the fighters. You have to fight [29:07] outside. What if it rains? What if it's [29:08] too hot? What if it's this? What if it's [29:10] that? [29:10] >> Yeah. Fight outside. [29:12] >> So, part of me was like, but then I was [29:14] like, shut up. You sent me that video [29:16] when you were like practicing or like [29:18] when you guys were doing like a walk [29:19] through the day before you sent me. He [29:21] was like, "Come on, [ __ ] Don't be a [29:22] pussy." And I was like, "Fuck, he's [29:24] right. I'm being a [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [29:26] >> It's just It's never going to happen [29:28] again." It was so insane. Me and DC and [29:30] John Anick were just looking at each [29:31] other going, "What the [ __ ] is this? [29:33] >> What a backdrop. This is insane. We're [29:35] on the lawn of the White House." [29:37] >> But TMZ tried to get you. [29:39] >> They got [ __ ] 20 beers deep walking [29:42] out. Uh, what do you think about saying [29:43] Michelle Obama's man? I was like, I [29:45] didn't [ __ ] like it. [29:46] >> And I was like, but he's funny. [29:48] >> All right. [29:48] >> The funny thing is [29:51] Joe Rogan didn't say anything when he [29:53] said that. I'm like, the guy just beat [29:54] the [ __ ] out of Derrick Lewis. What am I [29:56] going to do? [29:57] >> I'm scared. [29:58] >> What am I going to do? What am I going [29:59] to do? Hey, don't do that. And he throws [30:01] me. [30:02] >> The problem with it was on paper [30:04] hilarious. [30:05] >> Hilarious. [30:06] >> To to win a fight on the White House [30:08] lawn and then call a former first lady a [30:10] man. If you wrote that down, I'd be [30:12] like, "That's funny." [30:12] >> But the thing is, he says Michelle [30:14] Obama's a man every time I interview [30:16] him. [30:16] >> Really? [30:17] >> Yes. [30:17] >> You said it the last time I interviewed [30:19] him, too. [30:19] >> When I'm sitting there, when I'm sitting [30:21] in that crowd going, "This is probably a [30:23] bad look. This is a weird group of [30:25] people. This is" And then the guy wins [30:27] and goes, "Shut up. I was a man." I was [30:28] in the crowd just like, "You [ __ ] [30:31] ruined it. [30:32] >> You're doing exactly what they said we [30:34] do." [30:34] >> He did a smart thing. I mean, it's very [30:36] rude. [30:38] It's very rude, but it's a smart thing [30:40] cuz we're all still talking about it. [30:42] Otherwise, it's just another fight of [30:43] the night. [30:44] >> Talk about the Holocaust, too. [30:45] >> No, Diego Lopez. Diego Lopez knocked out [30:48] Steve Garcia. No one's talking about [30:51] Diego Lopez and Steve Garcia in the [30:53] regular news. They're talking about this [30:55] guy all day long. The next time he shows [30:57] up at a UFC event, the crowd is going to [30:59] go [ __ ] bananas. And if he wins, he's [31:02] a superstar. And he probably doubled his [31:04] income by saying Michelle Obama's a man. [31:07] M [31:08] >> yeah, but [31:09] >> that's what this WNBA players. [31:10] >> He's a [ __ ] pro wrestling heel. [31:12] >> Of course. [31:13] >> I know. It just validates everything [31:15] that [31:15] >> I literally as soon as he said I was [31:17] like [31:20] >> Michelle need to come on board. They [31:22] still can't define a woman. They all [31:24] need to come on board. This is all [31:25] everyone's ridiculous. [31:26] >> The last time I went to one of these [31:27] fights was so much lamer with Rogan. We [31:29] went to a fight on the lawn of Do you [31:31] remember this? [31:31] >> Which one? [31:32] >> The [ __ ] [31:33] >> Oh, the Playboy Mansion. [31:33] >> Play mansion. It was so bad people [31:36] didn't know what they were doing. [31:37] >> Wait, what? [31:38] >> This old [ __ ] man. [31:39] >> I think that was Force. Was it Strike [31:42] Force? [31:42] >> It was below that. [31:43] >> I think it was even worse. [31:44] >> Remember the company? [31:45] >> You went to the Playboy Mansion for a [31:47] fight? [31:47] >> Yeah. Wow. [31:48] >> I'm pretty sure it was Strike Force. [31:50] >> This old magazine mogul [ __ ] limps [31:53] out in front of us like five fights in [31:55] and sits down with these hookers. And [31:57] >> you know what's weird is how no [31:59] >> I guess he wouldn't be there. Playboy. [32:01] What's weird is how dated the place was. [32:05] What was it? Uh [32:07] >> strike force. [32:08] >> What was weird was how dated the mansion [32:10] is. It's like there's an old button [32:13] phone on the grotto. [32:15] >> He was old as [ __ ] [32:16] >> Not just old, it's like everything's [32:18] just sad. Everything in the past. [32:21] >> Cosby was there all day. [32:23] >> Everything is like it, you know, [32:25] obviously it's all gone now. Somebody [32:26] did somebody buy it? Imagine if we [32:28] bought the mansion, started doing [32:29] podcasts out of the mansion. [32:31] >> Wait, are we there? Look at that [32:32] picture. Go back up. I think we're right [32:34] near him behind him. [32:35] >> Perhaps. [32:36] >> There you are. Are you on the right? [32:40] >> What a weird Imagine. Look, he died at [32:43] the right time. [32:44] >> Better then. [32:44] >> That guy died at the right time. [32:46] >> Half [32:46] >> cuz if he was alive today, oh my god, [32:48] they come for him. Imagine what the me [32:49] too would have been like for half. [32:51] >> That's a documentary about him. It's [32:52] pretty rough. [32:53] >> Yeah. [32:54] >> A good bit about Is uh the mansion for [32:56] sale? Find out if the Playboy mansion is [32:58] for sale. [32:59] >> I think the son took Well, at least the [33:00] business. The son took over the [33:01] business, [33:02] >> but they still have the mansion. [33:04] >> Is the magazine even going? [33:06] >> Why would it? [33:07] >> It's like if you go to some movie star's [33:09] [ __ ] house, then they were a movie [33:10] star in like the 80s. You go to their [33:12] house and they're in Malibu and you show [33:13] up and their hair's all [ __ ] up and [33:15] they're kind of drunk. [33:16] >> Okay, come on inside. What's wrong with [33:18] that? [33:18] >> Lenolium floor with like holes in it. [33:20] [ __ ] You're like, what's wrong with [33:22] >> I bet Seagal's house is hilarious. Me [33:23] and Norma went we went to we went to [33:25] [ __ ] Elvis's house. [33:26] >> Oh cutting edge. It was like four TVs. [33:28] You can watch every channel. [33:30] >> 100 million. [ __ ] you. [33:31] >> I think we're out. [33:32] >> That's a little high. [33:34] >> The sale original listing price was 200 [33:36] million. God. [33:37] >> What do you get? The [ __ ] [33:39] >> I mean, this is a [33:40] >> It's a lot of land. [33:41] >> The guy who makes cupcakes bought it. [33:44] >> Hostess. [33:45] >> A hostess guy. [33:47] >> I bet he's just running around licking [33:48] the floor. [33:49] >> Yeah. Oh god. [33:52] A [33:54] >> getting fil get that get all that cream [33:57] and snail trail off the floor. [34:02] >> The is but that area where where he's at [34:06] like that uh that amount of land might [34:09] be worth $100 million. That's like [34:11] Brentwood, right? And it's a big [34:13] >> park there. Take us in shuttles up [34:15] there. [34:15] >> Yeah. You remember when he had he had a [34:17] like a big aviary and there was all [34:19] these birds in there and [ __ ] Do you [34:21] remember that? I don't remember that [34:22] one. [34:22] >> We were walking around cuz we were high. [34:24] We were pretty son. We were as [ __ ] We [34:26] took some edibles. [34:27] >> Only you go to the Playboy Mansion like, [34:29] "Let's see these cranes." [34:31] >> Like cool birds, man. There was cool [34:32] birds. 5 acres. 5 acres in that area is [34:37] worth a lot of money. [34:39] >> 12 bedrooms, 21 bathrooms. [34:41] >> Was there a party in the mansion after [34:43] the fights? [34:43] >> I don't remember. We got out of here. We [34:46] We were nobodyies back then. We got on a [34:48] shuttle. No, we didn't see any tits. No, [34:50] we just saw the fights. We just went to [34:52] watch the fights. It was like edibles [34:54] and watched the fights. [34:55] >> Joe Rogan was like he was once on a show [34:57] news radio. [34:59] >> Nobody cared. [35:00] >> I think that was the Fear Factor days. [35:03] >> Maybe early. [35:04] >> I think it was like year one or two of [35:05] Fear Factor. It was early on, man. It [35:07] was early cuz this is before like [35:09] Ultimate Fighter was [35:11] >> by the way. My bad on that. [35:12] >> What? What? [35:13] >> She be like, "Did you stay and look at [35:14] Tit right away?" [35:16] >> Yeah. My bad, fellas. No [ __ ] ass [35:18] girlfriend question. [35:22] >> There was no tits to see. It was really [35:23] like they rented the place out. [35:25] >> Never stay for the end of the parties. [35:26] >> I know. [35:28] >> I agree. [35:29] >> We It's like they rented the place out [35:31] as like a a location, you know, like [35:34] where you could [ __ ] have your [35:36] conference there. That's what it felt [35:37] like. [35:37] >> They sold it off little by little. [35:39] >> It was very professional. [35:42] >> All good. Fellas, [35:44] >> above board. [35:45] >> We can move on. [35:46] >> No, no Grotto. Nothing. I mean, I'd have [35:48] to look around. I don't even know if [35:49] there was one. [35:50] >> Those are the days where we used to have [35:51] to go to Englewood to get our weed. We [35:53] have to go and we have we used to have [35:55] to go to get it medical cuz there was no [35:57] it wasn't legal unless you had a medical [35:59] license. So, you'd have to go to the [36:00] Englewood. And the place that I went to [36:02] the I had to stop going there cuz the [36:04] guy got shot. He got robbed [36:07] >> cuz they only could get they [36:09] >> deposit your money because they were [36:10] like that's drug money. [36:11] >> They shot the doctor. [36:13] >> They shot a dude working there. A dude I [36:15] knew. [36:15] >> I was like, "All right, that's for sale [36:17] still. He was still alive and you had to [36:19] allow him to stay. [36:21] >> Oh, really? [36:21] >> That's hilarious. [36:24] >> You have to live with an old man. [36:26] >> However, the sale comes with one catch. [36:27] Anyone who wants to live like Hugh [36:29] Hefner will have to live with him. [36:31] >> Whoa, [36:33] >> that's crazy. The sale is predicated the [36:35] new owner allowing the 89year-old [36:37] Playboy publisher and we assume his [36:39] various playmates to stay in the house. [36:41] >> So, you could buy the house, but he gets [36:44] to stay in it. [36:44] >> What a buddy. What a buddy cop show that [36:46] would be hanging out. [36:48] >> What a weird place billionaire and Hugh. [36:51] >> What a weird place you are in your life [36:53] where you're like, I don't have much [36:54] time left. I'm going to die in this [36:56] house, but I don't have any money. [36:58] >> Oh, and I have this big ass house, but [37:00] if I sell the house, then I got to move. [37:02] Maybe I can try to sell the house and [37:04] stay in it. And they know I'm going to [37:05] die in it. And then they take it. [37:08] >> It's a tough deal. You got to watch a [37:09] guy die. The horniest guy of all time [37:11] die while he's while you have a [37:13] 21bedroom house. [37:15] >> You would just send dirty horse to go [37:17] [ __ ] him to death. [37:19] >> The uh the pump. I know. Uh Larry Flint [37:21] at the dick pump. [37:22] >> Larry L got shot. He got shot. [37:25] Paralyzed. Yeah. [37:26] >> Oh, I didn't know that. [37:27] >> Yeah, he got shot. [37:28] >> Damn. [37:29] >> Yeah, that's why he's in a wheelchair. [37:30] >> Come shot. [37:31] >> Is he still Hey, [37:33] nice. [37:33] >> Is he still alive? [37:35] >> I think Michigan. [37:37] >> Yeah, he's got to be dead. He's got to [37:39] be dead. [37:39] >> Got to be an awesome guest. [37:41] >> Uh [37:41] >> oh yeah. [37:42] >> No, he passed away in 2021. [37:45] >> Still rolling. [37:50] >> We're having a time. That was okay. [37:52] >> Yeah, we missed the boat on that guy, [37:54] too. [ __ ] [37:55] >> Yeah, that would have been a good one. [37:56] >> That would have been a good one. [37:57] >> It was a good movie, too. [37:58] >> Yeah, it was. [37:58] >> It was. [37:59] >> Courtney Love is good, man. Very good. [38:01] >> Norm was in that. [38:02] >> Really? [38:02] >> Yeah. [38:04] >> Look at that fat honk. [38:06] >> What a beast. What do you how do you get [38:08] shot? [38:08] >> With a gun. [38:09] >> Yeah, I remember this. So, he was like a [38:11] big proponent of like free speech. [38:13] >> Yeah, he was a big free speech guy. [38:15] >> Yeah. What was the I don't remember what [38:17] the assassination attempt was about. [38:20] >> See if you can find it. [38:21] >> Crazy about the magazine. They had [38:23] racist jokes galore. [38:24] >> Oh, so racist. [38:26] >> It was crazy. [38:27] >> The highlight. [38:28] >> Well, they were weren't just racist. [38:29] They were like the sex was like very [38:32] harsh. Like everything was harsh. Jesus. [38:34] >> Way worse than Playboy. [38:35] >> Oh, yeah. aggressive way better than [38:37] play aggressively [38:39] bad. So, what was the um what was the [38:42] shooting about? [38:43] >> Yeah. [38:45] >> Go to uh get off of images and go to all [38:48] >> Sometimes you can just find it that way. [38:50] >> White supremacist. [38:52] >> Oh, white supremacist murder who shot [38:53] Larry Flynn is executed. They killed him [38:56] in 2013. [38:57] >> What? White suprem Why would he shoot [38:59] him? The racist jokes were all [39:00] >> had a lot of problems. He's a white [39:01] supremacist. He's racist. Maybe you put [39:03] black chicks in the movie in the in the [39:05] magazine. [39:06] >> Oh, that'll do it. [39:07] >> That'll do it. [39:08] >> So, what was So, uh [39:11] charges [39:12] >> fighting a misdemeanor obscenity charge. [39:16] Local attorney Gene Reeves was also shot [39:18] on the sidewalk as both men walked back [39:21] to my [ __ ] pop-ups [39:22] >> to court. When you see a popup like [39:24] that, what doesn't it make you not want [39:26] to buy whatever that [ __ ] is forever? [39:28] >> Like, [ __ ] you. [39:29] >> It makes you want to block the whole [39:30] page. [39:31] >> Yeah. Like you make me press that X, you [39:34] savage. [ __ ] you. [39:36] >> This nicotine is a bad idea. [39:37] >> Terrible, right? [39:38] >> I'm like uncomfortable. [39:40] >> That's me last night at 2:00 in the [39:41] morning. This sucks. [39:42] >> I knew it's [39:42] >> I can't relax. [39:43] >> They're so strong. [39:46] >> Relax. [39:46] >> Maybe the booze will help, but I'm [39:48] flying and I can't. I got like beautiful [39:50] mind numbers over my head here. [39:52] >> Hey, dude. You got rid of your shitty [39:54] watch. What happened? [39:54] >> Hey, I got the Omega. [39:56] >> No, [39:56] >> look at that, fatty. It was free. Well, [39:59] thank God you got rid of that dumbass [40:01] [ __ ] [40:01] >> It It died. Finally broke. I was going [40:04] to kill it when you weren't looking. [40:05] >> You didn't throw it out, did you? [40:06] >> No, I got it. [40:07] >> I know you kept it coughing at all. [40:10] >> I know you kept it. [40:11] >> I kept it. I love that watch. [40:12] >> It's a little Timex tin. [40:14] >> I think [40:15] >> I would have been actually sad if you [40:16] threw it up. [40:17] >> Yeah. Yeah. [40:17] >> You got to put that on. [40:18] >> Where'd you get that watch? [40:19] >> I did a There's a I did some show in [40:21] Cleveland. There's a guy named Teddy and [40:23] he has a watch show and if you do the [40:25] show, you get a watch. [40:26] >> That's better than the [ __ ] Teddy. [40:27] Sorry. [40:28] >> Yeah. Huh? [40:28] >> Teddy Baltasari. [40:29] >> Yeah, maybe. [40:30] >> Yeah, the guy on YouTube. [40:31] >> Bert did it. Bert did it. Tom did it. [40:34] >> Yeah. Uh, he's really good. [40:36] >> He's good. Any watch you want. [40:38] >> So, I went with Omega. [40:39] >> That's cool. Nice. Beautiful watch. [40:41] >> Can I get this wet or no? [40:42] >> Oh, yeah. 100%. All right. [40:44] >> Yeah, definitely. No doubt about it. [40:45] >> Okay. [40:46] >> Which model is that? Is that a [40:47] chronograph [40:48] >> Speed Master? [40:50] >> That's what I have. I just got this one [40:51] for my birthday. [40:52] >> Hey, look at that. [40:54] >> My wife got me this one. RPing [40:57] already. [40:57] >> It's a great Joe [41:00] quick. [41:00] >> Yeah, Omegas are my favorite. They're [41:02] all fun watch the best thing I own this [41:04] watch. [41:05] >> Omegas and I I like Seyos. I really like [41:08] Grand Seikos and Seyos. [41:09] >> Japanese, right? [41:10] >> They never [ __ ] up. They last forever. [41:13] You could [ __ ] run them through the [41:14] mud. [41:15] >> They got the quartz. [41:16] >> They never mess up. No. No. They're [41:18] They're all It's all automatic. [41:20] >> American serial killer and white [41:21] supremacist who murdered 16 people [41:24] between 78 and 1980. either admitted to [41:27] or was convicted of shooting 22 people [41:29] across 10 US states. [41:30] >> Whoa. [41:31] >> Which he drifted between while likely [41:33] supporting himself with money from bank [41:35] robberies. [41:36] >> Whoa. [41:37] >> That's got to be a movie by that guy. [41:39] >> Whoa. What a wild [ __ ] [41:41] >> He's shooting interracial couples. [41:43] >> Imagine being trapped trapped in a motel [41:45] with that guy. [41:47] >> Yikes. [41:48] >> Yeah. Hey, what's up, man? I'll tell you [41:49] what's up. [41:50] >> Just you and him in a room. [41:51] >> [ __ ] [41:52] >> You're waiting on somebody to come pick [41:53] you up. So, how do you know, Charles? [41:57] >> I don't I don't help. [42:00] >> Yeah, the nudity magazine industry is [42:02] all over. [42:03] >> Yeah, it's over. [42:03] >> We got Only Fans, free porn. [42:05] >> Well, you know, want to hear something [42:06] funny? When I was a kid, they weren't [42:08] allowed to show erections. [42:10] >> That's a good rule. [42:11] >> I like that. [42:12] >> That's for the fellas. [42:13] >> Yeah, [42:14] >> that's for the fellas. I don't know what [42:16] they thought because you could see full [42:18] [ __ ] Like a girl could spread her [42:19] [ __ ] lips. Like that was the thing [42:20] about Hustler versus Penthouse. [42:22] penthouse or uh or or Playboy rather. [42:25] Playboy was classy. Playboys, the [42:28] ladies, you'd see the bush, but that's [42:30] it. You didn't see you didn't look deep [42:32] into the mouth of the dragon. [42:33] >> But in Hustler, they were spreading that [42:35] [ __ ] open and they would spray [42:38] it down with water, get it all [42:39] glistening, and you'd see the bottom of [42:41] her dirty toes. Like that was Hustler. [42:44] >> Looks like a predator mouth. [42:45] >> Yeah. They they open wide, but you [42:47] couldn't see [ __ ] And if you did see [42:49] [ __ ] it had to be limp. [42:51] >> Really? [42:51] >> Yeah. Yeah. [42:52] When I was a kid, we used to find [42:54] magazines in the woods and uh the first [42:56] magazine that we ever found would was [42:57] Guys and Girl. I remember it was like a [43:00] guy was supposedly a male prostitute [43:02] that had sex with a really hot rich [43:04] lady. And so he shows up at her house. [43:06] Like there's all these different photos. [43:08] He shows up at her house. Next thing you [43:09] know, she's on the the bathroom sink and [43:11] he's eating her box and the whole thing. [43:13] And then when there's sex scenes, his [43:16] dick looks like a drowning victim they [43:19] pulled out of a lake. his dick is just [43:22] like and I'm like this guy's right [43:23] there. He's like, "Why aren't you hard? [43:27] This is crazy." It was almost like to [43:29] keep people from getting too crazy about [43:31] porn because you have to think like [43:33] >> incremental steps. [43:34] >> Porn wasn't available unless you went to [43:37] a place. You used to have to go to a [43:38] movie theater and sit down and pay [43:41] money, sit down with a [ __ ] raincoat [43:43] on with a bunch of other freaks, [43:44] >> sit next to Pee-Wee Herman, [43:45] >> and you all get arrested [43:47] >> and Fred Will. Then when I was in high [43:49] school, [43:50] >> he was he got popped in there. [43:51] >> VHS tapes came along. But at the same [43:53] time where VHS tapes where you're [43:55] watching actual porn, the magazines [43:57] still weren't allowed to show erections. [43:59] >> Well, erection is a is aggressive. It's [44:02] scary. It's coming out of the screen. [44:04] But a a [ __ ] is is nice. It's [44:06] welcoming. It's it's inward. [44:07] >> It doesn't change shape. [44:08] >> I don't know why they couldn't I don't [44:10] know what rationale to keep people from [44:12] seeing erections. It's kind of crazy. [44:15] >> Limp biscuit. But you can get in trouble [44:17] if a guy had an erection and you put it [44:19] in a magazine. [44:19] >> It's crazy. Really? This is in the 80s. [44:21] >> Yeah. [44:22] >> They're like, "We got to do something. [44:23] Here's some rule." [44:25] >> But it just shows you how [ __ ] our [44:27] society was just a few decades ago. [44:28] That's what's really weird. You [44:29] >> ever listen to that long ago? [44:31] >> What did he get arrested for? [44:32] >> Oh, yeah. [44:32] >> It's so tame. [44:33] >> So tame. [44:34] >> Really? [44:34] >> Yeah. [44:35] >> He's like, "Oh, a bunch of knuckleheads [44:37] up there. [44:39] >> Get him off. Get him off. [ __ ] [44:41] >> cops waiting just for him to say [44:42] anything." Well, they had obscenity laws [44:45] regarding words. Like if you said [ __ ] [44:47] you can go to jail. Wow. [44:48] >> Yeah. Okay. So, that's in the 60s. [44:51] >> So, Nate would never get arrested. [44:52] >> I'm in the 80s and you couldn't show [44:53] boners. You know, this was what I'm [44:55] talking about in high school. You [44:56] couldn't show boners in magazines. [44:58] >> Good. [45:00] >> Yeah. Talking about bring it back. Why [45:03] you want boners so bad, dude? [45:04] >> You want Sharia law. That's what you [45:06] want. Get rid of the boners. [45:08] >> Also, the magazines are coming back, [45:09] dude. with these every one of these [45:11] conservative states. You can't [ __ ] [45:12] jack off on the internet. I know, right? [45:14] Even VPNs won't work sometimes. [45:16] >> What are you talking about? [45:17] >> The new Mason Dixon line. You go right [45:18] on your back. [45:19] >> Same thing in London. What [45:21] >> I've heard. I've never tried to get on. [45:24] >> If you got the right kind, you're fine. [45:25] >> VPN's work great. [45:27] >> It's this weird north south divide. It's [45:30] dumb. It's stupid. [45:31] >> Well, it's also they've done the THC [45:33] thing. Here's what Texas doesn't [45:34] understand. You will [ __ ] this place up [45:37] and you will turn the whole thing blue. [45:38] They will. Kids will turn on you if you [45:41] tell them they can't smoke weed. They [45:42] know weed's not killing anybody. [45:44] >> Which one's blue? [45:45] >> This place. [45:46] >> No. [45:47] >> Oh, what's blue? Um, Democrat. [45:49] >> Oh, [45:49] >> red is Republican. [45:50] >> Shut up. [45:51] >> Come on. [45:51] >> How do you not? [45:53] >> He's pretending he's lives in England [45:55] now. [45:55] >> Which one's Which one's donkey? [45:57] >> He's like Al Baldwin's wife. [45:59] >> He's like, how you say cucumber? [46:01] >> Shut up. [46:03] >> This bitch's pissing me off. [46:04] >> You haven't been gone, man. [46:05] >> You haven't been gone. [46:06] >> You're going to be drinking tea soon. [46:08] in it. Alec Baldwin's wife was [46:10] pretending she was Spanish. That was you [46:11] right there. How do you pretend you [46:13] don't know? [46:13] >> Say hilar [46:19] was like, "That [ __ ] speaks English." [46:21] She's from Boston. [46:22] >> She must be so [ __ ] your boy mommy. [46:24] >> Well, she's super hot. [46:26] >> He hit the old [ __ ] code switch. [46:28] >> Oh, he show open it. [46:31] >> What was it? [46:31] >> It's just him [46:33] >> code switching like crazy. [46:34] >> An old one. [46:34] >> Yeah. [46:35] >> Yeah. He's good at it. He can go full [46:37] Indian. [46:37] >> Of course, sociopath. [46:39] >> They had this guy running in Ecuador who [46:40] was running for the with the indigenous [46:42] party and he was like they showed him 5 [46:43] years earlier. He was wearing a business [46:44] suit. Now he's got like a ponytail and [46:46] [ __ ] all the [ __ ] What did he What [46:48] was his coat switch? [46:49] >> Switching [46:51] >> to Ugandan accent. [46:53] >> I'm done. He's Ugandan. [46:54] >> All right, let's hear it. Let's hear it. [46:57] >> You're going to love it. [46:58] >> As a music supervisor for Queen of Kwe. [47:02] And as we know, music is almost the last [47:05] string that brings the picture together. [47:09] It tells the story. It's the tiein of [47:11] the whole story. How was that for you? I [47:14] mean, being anywhere involved with the [47:17] music will be a daunting task, but to be [47:19] a supervisor at that. It must have been [47:21] a mammoth task. [47:22] >> Yeah. So, um I I actually created a [47:26] playlist um for for Meera, who who also [47:29] happens to be my mother. You know, [47:31] nepotism and hard work goes a long way. [47:34] >> So, in February, I made a playlist even [47:36] before shooting of of a kind of a sound [47:38] that the film could have. [47:41] >> What are we listening for? [47:42] >> You can find better ones. But you never [47:43] hear him speak. [47:44] >> I never have heard him. [47:45] >> He doesn't sound anything like that. [47:47] >> He hit the old [ __ ] [47:49] crazy speak. [47:51] >> So, the the real question is what's his [47:52] real accent? [47:53] >> Wait, that Oh, so that's not He's [47:56] American. [47:57] >> No, no, he's from But now he's full. But [47:59] now he speaks completely clear American. [48:02] >> I did the right thing. [48:03] >> The right thing? [48:04] >> Yeah. Lose your accent. [48:05] >> Are you still those people in England [48:07] since you live over there now? [48:08] >> Bro, I'm learn. I'm trying to learn. [48:09] >> Tell them. Hey, hey, hey. You don't have [48:11] to talk like this. [48:12] >> You don't sing like that. [48:13] >> I made people to their faces. [48:15] >> Yeah. [48:15] >> As they're like, "We have to." I'm like, [48:16] "We have to do this." What? You sound so [48:19] [ __ ] stupid. [48:19] >> I used to have a bit about it though. [48:21] The Beatles, they don't they don't sing [48:22] like that. Nobody sings like that. [48:25] >> Cindy talk like that. like people from [48:27] like Manchester or Liverpool like I [48:29] don't know what you're saying. [48:30] >> Sometimes I'm interviewing like Patty [48:31] Pimpblelet. I'm like I don't know all [48:33] these [48:35] >> Kyle Legacy [48:37] >> bros. [48:39] Those are the greatest submissions I've [48:41] ever seen in my life. It might be the [48:43] greatest submission of all time [48:44] >> and he did it to that guy Ben Wasandi [48:47] who's a submission expert. [48:48] >> Catch him in that guillotine on the [48:50] first shot and he called it. He said [48:52] he's going to shoot for a takedown. I'm [48:54] going to choke him unconscious [48:55] >> when he comes out to Where's your head [48:57] at? [48:58] >> Yeah, [48:58] >> that song. [49:00] >> Yeah, bro. He's [49:01] >> so wonderful. [49:01] >> He has so much fun. The crazy thing with [49:03] that dude is on the walk to the cage. [49:06] Looks like he's having a party. It's all [49:08] dancing and party. The moment he gets in [49:11] that cage, the flip, the switch gets [49:14] flipped and then he's just stonefaced [49:16] and he's not no more playing around. [49:18] Very serious. It's like he just enjoys [49:21] up [49:23] to [49:26] sometimes I worry about a guy getting [49:27] too relaxed and too confident with that [49:30] dude. It's like he's he's got a perfect [49:32] balance party. The whole crowd is doing [49:35] this. [49:36] >> Everybody's doing this. The whole [49:37] [ __ ] crowd. And then but when he gets [49:39] into the octagon, he dances a little bit [49:41] for everybody and then he just locks in. [49:44] It's amazing to watch. [49:46] >> He flips a switch later when he gains 60 [49:48] lbs, too. Oh, he gained so much. [49:49] >> I also respect the hell [49:51] >> in the offse like uh [49:53] >> he transitions. [49:54] >> It's like uh who was that? Uh [49:55] >> James Harden. [49:57] >> Who was the British boxer? [49:59] >> Lennux Lewis [50:00] >> that fought uh Mayweather and Pacquiao. [50:02] Ricky Hatton. [50:03] >> Ricky Hatton. Hatton would [ __ ] blow [50:05] up too. [50:05] >> Yeah, he would get big. [50:06] >> Yeah. [50:07] >> Look at these guys. [50:07] >> All wearing wigs. [50:08] >> Looks like Hansen. [50:09] >> It's great. [50:10] >> Yeah, they all wear Patty the Batty [50:12] wigs. [50:13] >> How many blonde wigs is this guy sold? [50:16] >> I'll tell you, man. If this dude gets a [50:18] hold of your neck, everybody's [ __ ] [50:21] Everybody's [ __ ] If he gets a hold of [50:22] you, [50:24] let me show just show him coming out [50:26] dancing. [50:29] As soon as people see him, they go [50:31] crazy. [50:31] >> Had to roll is so sick. [50:36] >> As soon as the audience sees him, they [50:38] go [ __ ] bananas. Everybody starts [50:40] throwing their arms in the air. [50:41] >> Wow. I turned around and looked behind [50:43] me when I was calling the fight. [ __ ] [50:45] everybody had their arms going. It was [50:47] amazing. It was amazing. [50:49] >> He's probably the most fun right now. [50:50] >> 100% the most fun. [50:52] >> He's the new Connor. [50:53] >> He's the most fun. Yeah, but it's [50:54] different. He's like a sweet guy. [50:56] >> Yeah, he's fun. [50:59] >> Yeah, him and him and Tapora [ __ ] [51:02] hate each other. So, that would that's a [51:05] really interesting fight. [51:07] >> But, oh, let me tell you something, man. [51:08] He's big. Like, deceptively big. Like, [51:12] he's deceptively big. when you're [51:13] standing next to him like he's a big [51:14] guy. Taporia is not nearly as big as [51:17] Patty. Patty's huge. [51:19] >> He's a big guy and he gets he gets Yeah, [51:21] he gets fat in between, but I mean you [51:23] look he's [ __ ] big. [51:25] >> How tall is he? [51:26] >> At least 5'11 and thick. That's the [51:29] thing is about his back. Like when he [51:31] got a hold of Benasande, he catches him [51:33] in that dar choke and then you see the [51:35] back muscles on that [ __ ] and [51:37] then he wraps his legs over the top and [51:39] he's rolling through the whole thing. [51:40] Like he's got a squeeze, man. He's big. [51:44] >> Look at this. This move was so slick. [51:46] You have to understand like this had [51:48] never been done in the UFC before out of [51:50] all the submissions. That it's a dar [51:53] choke with legs over the top. Like it's [51:56] almost like you're in full guard. And [51:58] he's using the right foot. You see what [52:00] he's doing with his right foot? He's [52:01] flexing forward. He's holding his arm in [52:03] place. And then his left foot is [52:05] pressing down on the back. And then he's [52:08] got the full dar grip, like a rear naked [52:09] choke style grip on the choke with the [52:12] arm tucked in. So he's got his legs [52:14] involved, he's got his back involved, [52:16] his arms, everything. It's insane how [52:18] much [52:19] >> he can't get his left arm out of there [52:20] cuz the leg ain't going nowhere. [52:23] >> He's [ __ ] He's completely and he [52:24] tries to roll cuz Ben Was like very [52:27] legit. So he tries to roll out of it and [52:29] Patty just rolls with him and then winds [52:31] up on top with just insane pressure, [52:34] man. And just put him to sleep. But no [52:36] one's ever done that submission. So it's [52:38] a combination of like a Peruvia deck [52:40] tie, a Dar, and you know, maybe a couple [52:45] other things. What's his right leg? So [52:47] people are calling it the padlock now. [52:49] Like another kid just pulled it off [52:51] recently in another MMA fight. Pulled [52:54] off the exact same move, the exact same [52:56] way, which is really fun. It's like [52:58] people see someone do something, they [52:59] go, "Oh, I didn't think about it that [53:01] way." Because generally when you catch [53:02] someone in a dar choke, what you do is [53:05] you try to hook the leg and you're it's [53:07] basically like sinking the choke in deep [53:09] and you're hooking the leg. But what he [53:11] did was went around the top and got over [53:14] his back [53:16] >> and then just rolled with him. And it's [53:17] like, oh my god, the pressure is insane. [53:22] >> Broke out of it. [53:26] >> This is like when I I watch some guys [53:27] getting choked and I'm looking for I [53:29] look for way outs. I look for like [53:31] where's a way out? Where's a way to [53:32] defend? I'm like there ain't no way out [53:34] of this. This is death. This episode is [53:36] brought to you by Arra. Every week [53:38] there's some new wellness hack that [53:40] people swear by and after a while you [53:42] start thinking why do we think we can [53:45] just outsmart our bodies. That's why [53:47] Arra colostrum caught my attention. It's [53:50] something the body already recognizes [53:52] and has hundreds of these specialized [53:55] nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, [53:57] metabolism, etc. I first noticed it [54:00] working around training, especially [54:02] workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, [54:04] but I am still taking this. If you want [54:06] to try, Armra is offering my listeners [54:08] 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to [54:11] armorra.com/rogan. [54:14] >> What's he doing with his right leg to [54:16] his left arm? [54:17] >> Well, his right leg is hooking the [54:19] bicep. He's hooking it right where the [54:20] bicep meets the crook of the elbow. [54:22] >> So, he's not he's not going to be able [54:24] to get that arm back. So it's like [54:26] locked in place like here. So he can't [54:28] defend. What he wants to do is sneak it [54:29] under and try to separate the the the [54:31] lock. So now this arm's out of the [54:33] equation. So you're only defending [54:35] you're defending [54:37] >> you're defending one leg and two arms [54:40] that are wrapped around your neck with [54:41] one hand. [54:42] >> With only one hand cuz he's using his [54:44] right foot to lock a hold of that elbow [54:47] crook. It's [ __ ] sick. [54:48] >> Pulling it back. [54:49] >> As a guy who loves jiu-jitsu, that's the [54:51] sickest [ __ ] I've ever seen in my life. [54:52] >> They should teach that to to cops. Cops [54:54] would be good. They'd be good to know [54:57] that, you know, you wouldn't cops that. [54:59] >> Yeah. You just shoot people shoot [55:01] people. You could just lock him up. [55:02] >> You put him in a padlock. [55:04] >> Yeah. Get him in a padlock. [55:05] >> Just shoot him. [55:06] >> All right. [55:07] >> That's faster. [55:08] >> And we got the body cam. [55:09] >> Cops should definitely know you. Look at [55:11] that's what he looks like when he's [55:12] getting squished. [55:12] >> Holy [ __ ] Look at that. [55:14] >> You know how insane that is? Like he's [55:15] got one arm that really can't even [55:17] engage. See, his arm can't even grab a [55:19] hold of where it's gripped. [55:21] >> He can't reach it. And then his other [55:23] hand is where he wraps a hold of it with [55:25] his foot. So he locks up with his right [55:28] foot underneath the crook of the elbow [55:30] on the left arm and the other arm's [55:32] useless. So he's just going he's just [55:34] going night. [55:35] >> Pad tie. A good name. Imagine you're [55:36] ripping a fart right then. [55:38] >> Yeah. They call it either the pad lock [55:39] or the pad tie. That's what people are [55:41] calling it. [55:42] >> I love them both. [55:44] >> He should name it. Patty should name it. [55:46] >> He did. That's what he put up. [55:47] >> Oh, he called it the pad tie. That's [55:49] great. [55:49] >> There he goes. Oh, beautiful. Okay. So [55:51] that's what it is now. So it's the pad [55:52] tie. [55:53] >> Remember the Jew claw? [55:54] >> Oh yeah, [55:55] >> Jew claw. You take the money. [55:58] >> Pick pocket. [55:59] >> What's the Jew claw? [56:00] >> Eddie Bravo name. [56:01] >> Eddie Bravo had a I forget how it goes. [56:04] I forget that move. How does it work? Do [56:05] you remember? [56:06] >> No, but I was there and he was like, [56:07] what should we Oh, let's call it the Oh, [56:10] all right. Jclaw. I was like, I'll allow [56:12] it. [56:13] >> He's got ridiculous names. [56:15] >> Ju like no, we'll change it spelling. [56:17] >> Worst superhero ever. [56:19] just a guy missing arm. [56:21] >> I had to do a commentary for the UFC [56:23] once and one of the guys that was [56:25] fighting was one of Eddie's students and [56:27] uh he was doing something called [56:29] crackhead control. So it was like on Fox [56:32] and I had to explain this is called [56:34] crackhead control. [56:36] >> I didn't name it, guys. [56:37] >> Yeah. [56:40] >> What is this? [56:41] >> Say sweep from the claw. [56:43] >> Sweep from the Jew claw. You're afraid [56:45] to say Jew. Well, I mean it's it's not [56:48] written, I guess. [56:48] >> That's misspelled [56:50] is clear. [56:51] >> No, it's IU. No, that's that's literally [56:54] how it's spelled. [56:55] >> Are there any Jewish fighters? [56:57] >> Oh, yes. Definitely. [56:59] >> There's a ton. There's a ton. [57:00] >> He had a good sleeper. [57:03] >> Wait, [57:05] my ears get hot in these [ __ ] [57:06] >> Oh, okay. [57:07] >> Who's a Jewish fighter? [57:08] >> Also, that AC. I don't know. [57:09] >> Well, Moti Hornenstein was the first [57:12] game close. Moti Hornenstein was a I [57:14] think he was an Israeli special forces [57:17] guy and he was a Krav Maga guy and he [57:20] was in the very maybe maybe Kilkashen he [57:23] was in the early UFC's he fought Don Fry [57:25] and got beat up he fought a few few big [57:28] guys and got beat up [57:30] >> Tiger [57:31] >> maybe he didn't fight Don F [57:32] >> Tiger Schman [57:35] >> Tiger Schulman is a coach and he runs a [57:37] bunch of like elite [57:38] >> he marketed [57:39] >> MMA gyms he sells a lot [57:41] >> he parlayed it Well, whoman? Yeah, he's [57:43] probably a good fighter. [57:44] >> Well, uh, the fan they know what they're [57:46] doing for sure. They they've developed a [57:48] bunch of like elite elite fighters like [57:50] Shane Bergos came out of there. A bunch [57:52] of guys like top level guys came out of [57:54] Tiger Schulman's. [57:55] >> Oh, he was MAGA. [57:57] >> Huh? [57:57] >> Oh, Cra Mag, [58:05] >> the original MAGA. I don't remember what [58:07] Moti Hornstein's style was, but this is [58:10] back [58:10] >> running away. Moti Hornstein, [58:13] >> come on. [58:14] >> Oh [ __ ] [58:16] >> Early UFC's he was an Israeli guy who [58:18] fought in the early UFC. [58:22] Put me in I'll sue you. He was good, [58:24] >> but he was a little too small and he was [58:26] also not a wrestler and you know he got [58:28] [ __ ] over by these wrestlers. They [58:29] just beat the [ __ ] out of him. [58:31] >> So who There he is. Okay, so this is [58:33] 2026. So, he's doing like a seminar. Oh, [58:36] okay. See if you can find like footage [58:39] of him from the early days of the UFC. [58:40] >> Benny the Jet looks like a [ __ ] [58:42] vampire. [58:43] >> Jet Benny needy [58:46] would [ __ ] you up. [58:47] >> Benny was a guest. He was a guest [58:49] podcast. Yeah. [58:50] >> When I first moved to LA in '94, that [58:53] was one of the first places I went to. [58:54] There was two meccas that were in LA. [58:56] One of them was a comedy store. That was [58:58] the big one. The other one for me was [58:59] the Jet Center. That was his place in [59:01] Van Eyes. This is the smashing machine [59:03] versus [59:04] >> Oh, yeah. That's who it was. It was Mark [59:05] Kerr and he got destroyed. [59:07] >> I would not want to fight the Smashing [59:08] Machine. [59:09] >> Smashing machine versus a good name. [59:12] >> So, this is Moti. [59:13] >> So, he was he was good, but he was a [59:15] karate guy and like they ain't no way [59:18] you're going to be dealing with Mark. [59:20] Look how big Mark Curry is. [59:22] >> He's huge. Immediate shot. Not only [59:24] that, when you're wearing a ghee, you [59:27] have so much to grab a hold of. It's so [59:29] easy to control you. If fighters fought [59:31] in a ghee in the UFC, the fights would [59:33] be completely different. [59:35] >> Ow. And Mark just beat the [ __ ] out of [59:36] him. [59:37] >> Oh god, you hold me down too much. [59:39] >> Stop it. Please get off. [59:40] >> Also, Mark admittedly was on all the [59:43] steroids. He was He was on some stuff [59:45] that you could only get in Mexico. [59:46] >> Didn't need him for this fight. [59:48] >> He didn't need him. [59:49] >> Didn't need him. Should have saved us [59:50] steroids. [59:51] >> Oh, but this is like UFC probably 10. [59:54] Okay. 14. UFC 14. Yeah, I was there for [59:57] this. But [59:58] >> this is back in when I was working. Key [60:00] willers. [60:00] >> Were you working for free? [60:02] >> Yeah, I was No, I got paid back then. [60:03] >> Nice. [60:04] >> I didn't work for free until the new UFC [60:06] because they were hemorrhaging money. So [60:08] that they tricked me into working. They [60:10] tricked me into doing one event. [60:12] >> I did one event when they did the best [60:14] me remember best damn sports show [60:16] period. Yeah. So they had a best damn [60:18] sports show period. UFC. So they had to [60:20] make it UFC 37 and a half. [60:24] >> I think it was 37. 32 and 37 and a2. [60:27] >> He was on it. [60:28] >> Tom Arnold was on it. Brody did the [60:29] warm-up. [60:29] >> Yep. [60:30] >> It was a couple other dudes on and so uh [60:33] they did that and they did that um for [60:36] for Fox and Dana and I were friends and [60:39] Dana was like, "Just do me a solid. Will [60:40] you would you just do commentary on this [60:42] one show just because it's going to be [60:44] on Fox? It'd be big. Fear Factor Guy [60:46] does it." I'm like, "Okay, I'll do one." [60:48] And I did one and then the next thing [60:49] you want to do another one like a [60:51] >> got me. [60:52] >> He got me. And the next thing I did like [60:54] 15 of them for free. [60:58] They gave me a nice Rolex though. [60:59] >> They used to do celebrity boxing. [61:01] Remember that? [61:02] >> Oh yeah, [61:02] >> that was fun. They should bring that [61:03] back. [61:04] >> Screech. [61:04] >> Yeah. Well, they will give a good one. [61:06] >> There's always a bunch of people that [61:07] are broke. [61:08] >> Tanya Harding. That Tanya Harding was [61:10] she could fight. [61:11] >> How about we did on the man show? Tanya [61:12] Harding fought Doug Stanh Hope. [61:14] >> That's awesome. Really? [61:15] >> Who wants to killed him? [61:16] >> Doug kind of held back a little bit. [61:18] >> Doug was being a good guy. [61:19] >> Tanya didn't have her [ __ ] [61:21] >> Doug's got a great ego. He He doesn't, [61:23] you know, he doesn't need to win. You [61:25] just wanted to make it entertaining. It [61:26] was pretty funny though watching Doug [61:28] smoking cigarettes in between rounds [61:30] like [61:31] >> Oh, I've never seen this. [61:34] >> It's such a small ring. [61:35] >> Look at the little bit of that. [61:37] >> The ring was [ __ ] tiny. [61:39] >> It was ridiculous. [61:41] >> Poor poor Doug drinking beers. [61:45] >> Look how young he looks. God, that's [61:47] crazy. Look, he's taking a hole of a [61:48] cigarette. His mom when his mom was [61:51] alive. Amazing. [61:53] >> That was fun. Now, who won? [61:56] >> I don't remember. [61:56] >> The fans won. Nobody won. Everybody [61:59] lost, including America. [62:02] >> Those celebrity boxing matches sometimes [62:03] they're sad. What was it? The dude who [62:05] died recently. Aaron [62:08] >> Aaron Carter. Is that his name? Yes. [62:10] >> Guy with the tattoos on his face. [62:11] >> He had a one against u the basketball [62:15] player. He used to [ __ ] the Kardashian [62:16] girl. [62:17] >> ODM. [62:18] >> Yeah. Lamar Odum. [62:18] >> Lamar probably killed him. [62:20] >> Uh-huh. [62:20] >> Yeah. [62:21] >> Oh, yeah. [62:22] >> Crazy choice. Uh-huh. [62:23] >> He should have done crackhead control on [62:25] that guy. [62:26] >> It'd be like me fighting a 13-year-old. [62:28] So ridiculous. [62:30] >> 10. [62:31] >> He's so big. And that kid couldn't fight [62:32] at all. It the whole thing was crazy. [62:34] Like he must have just been so desperate [62:36] for money or something, you know? I [62:38] don't know. Something sad. [62:40] >> You ever see Dirty Work? [62:41] >> Sure. [62:42] >> When the kid from uh Different Strokes [62:44] comes in and tries to fight like Dread [62:45] Tatum and he's like, you're like, "How's [62:47] this? What's the joke?" Todd [62:50] >> Gary Coleman. Was it Gary Coleman? [62:54] >> He just gets walloped. [62:55] >> Do you remember when Gary Coleman was [62:57] working as a security guard and people [62:58] would just show up just to make fun of [62:59] him? [63:00] >> No, [63:01] people are so evil. [63:03] >> Because there's one thing if you're just [63:06] a 4ft tall security guard, that's one [63:09] thing. But if you're a 4 foot to call [63:10] tall security guard who used to be a TV [63:12] starly famous [63:14] >> then people feel like people when you've [63:16] crashed when you've made it to great [63:18] heights and then you've crashed. There's [63:19] people that revel in that. They love it. [63:22] They love watching. Look at look at the [63:24] size difference. [63:24] >> No [ __ ] way. [63:25] >> How crazy is that? [63:27] >> Not only that 6 foot. It says he was 6 [63:29] foot. [63:29] >> He's 6 foot. Okay. He's 6' 100 lb. [63:31] >> Respect for going in the ring though. [63:33] >> No, he's on drugs. [63:34] >> Ah, [63:35] >> he's got to be out of his [ __ ] mind. [63:36] >> Yeah, he's on the 40s. That's very [63:40] >> That is Look at the weight difference. [63:42] The weight difference is literally [63:43] insane. [63:44] >> That's literally insane. [63:46] >> The weight difference is is like [ __ ] [63:47] 80 pounds. [63:48] >> And he's giant. It's terrible. Don't [63:50] watch. [63:51] >> Mark could have been on crack. [63:52] >> That's what I'm saying. [63:53] >> Might have made it worse. [63:53] >> That would have helped. [63:54] >> Control. I'll fight anybody if I was on [63:56] crack. [63:56] >> You got to round two. [63:57] >> Oh, [63:58] >> well, I don't think they're like one [63:59] minute rounds. [64:00] >> I mean, even then, [64:03] like [64:05] didn't even get a hit. [64:06] >> It's just a beating. If he was a kind [64:08] soul, he would have just punched him to [64:09] the body and just liver punched him [64:11] until he dropped. [64:12] >> Damn. [64:13] >> But, you know, you got to do what you [64:14] got to do. [64:15] >> Carter, [64:16] >> that's that's the saddest state of [64:18] fighting is people that are desperate [64:21] for the money because they used to be [64:22] famous, now they're not, and then [64:23] they're going to have a fight. That's [64:24] >> and they want fame and money at the same [64:26] time. [64:27] >> Or slap fighting. That's the saddest [64:29] state when you need the money and you're [64:30] slap because you know you're only [64:31] getting like 18 grand. [64:32] >> The slap boxing. [64:33] >> Yeah. You ain't getting much. [64:34] >> The slap. [64:34] >> You ever see Jeremiah [ __ ] up Louis? [64:37] It did. Jeremiah hit him with some [64:39] shots. [64:39] >> That was great. Lewis started cheating a [64:42] little punches to the body. Oh yeah. [64:44] >> Yeah. Lewis hit him with like a legit [64:46] punch to the body. [64:47] >> Legion of skanks and I was Yeah, I was [64:50] so happy. [64:51] >> Yeah, I was obviously a slap. [64:53] >> Jeremiah Lewis just would never be able [64:55] to handle the loss, which is very funny. [64:58] >> Jeremiah weighs negative4 lbs. [65:01] >> L got leg kicked by No, this is just one [65:03] of them. They had one of them that they [65:04] did on the street. [65:06] Yeah, this one was the setup because you [65:08] got [65:08] >> Jeremiah box at one point in his life or [65:10] something. [65:11] >> He boxes against the Satan. [65:13] >> Oh, [65:15] >> Jesus. He loves Jesus. [65:17] >> Did he box or something at some point in [65:19] his life? [65:20] >> I think he's just wiry. [65:21] >> Interesting. [65:22] >> Good for him. [65:22] >> So, uh, Lewis was outside of the creek [65:24] and some homeless guy was talking [ __ ] [65:26] Something happened and so he squares up [65:28] with the homeless guy and the homeless [65:29] guy immediately leg kicks him. [65:32] like a really good like Muay Thai leg [65:34] kick and then he hits him with a second [65:36] one. [65:36] >> That guy was like, "All right, all [65:37] right." [65:38] >> No, I I that's a few wanted to keep it [65:41] going. [65:41] >> I didn't even watch it. [65:42] >> I know. Lewis put his hand out. He was [65:44] like, "All right, all right. We're good. [65:45] >> I won't watch and I won't watch the [65:46] Perez Hilton video either." [65:48] >> Oh, that's good. [65:51] >> It's fine. [65:54] >> This guy having a break. He's not [65:56] cutting himself. [65:56] >> Oh, you think it's fake? [65:57] >> Yeah. [65:58] >> He's in the hospital doing what? Part of [66:00] the mental breakdown. Not for the [66:01] wounds. [66:01] >> Are you sure? [66:02] >> I would imagine. [66:03] >> I think he got some pretty good last. [66:04] >> I don't know if you want to say that. [66:05] That dude will sue you. He will sue you. [66:07] That crazy really cut himself. [66:09] >> Sure. Just for attention. He sues the [66:11] guy who holds the world record. [66:14] >> The world record of the largest selling [66:16] out show of all time. Of course he's [66:17] going to sue. [66:18] >> Perez Hilton. [66:19] >> No, this guy. [66:20] >> You're right. [66:20] >> Yeah, [66:21] >> of course. [66:22] >> I heard selling out. [66:23] >> I went the other way. [66:24] >> You're in England. A lot of things have [66:25] changed. I'm [66:30] >> a headliner now. [66:30] >> There's a new sheriff in town. [66:34] >> How is it over there? You living again? [66:35] You [66:36] >> I'm uh It's [ __ ] rough. They hate [66:38] immigrants so hard. [66:39] >> When are you going to move back? [66:41] >> Including you. Why don't you come back [66:42] here? Right here. Right here, buddy. Cut [66:43] off. [66:44] >> Come on. We'll get you an apartment. [66:45] God, you got to go. I'm already hooking [66:46] up. [66:47] >> You're calling yourself an immigrant. [66:48] They're calling me an immigrant. They [66:49] have law set up to make it hard for you. [66:51] >> No, he's an immigrant. If you're an [66:52] immigrant, [66:52] >> that's not the immigrants they don't [66:53] like. [66:54] >> I know. I'm trying to explain that to [66:55] them. I think they like the other kind. [66:57] That's [66:57] >> Tell them they hate Muslims. You'll fit [66:58] in. [66:58] >> If you just came in with no paperwork, [67:00] you'd get all the services. [67:01] >> Oh, they hate Jewish immigrants. [67:03] >> No, no, they Yeah, they they hate just [67:05] immigrant. They make it hard. You can't [67:06] rent an apartment unless you have 3 [67:07] years of UK rental experience. Tell them [67:09] you're from a different country. [67:10] >> Come back. [67:11] >> I know. We all Every immigrant. [67:12] >> Come back to America. [67:17] >> How do the other guys get in so easy? [67:19] >> They have to live with their [ __ ] [67:20] families. [67:21] >> Ah, they don't they just can't do it. [67:23] >> I got a place for you. It's in a nice [67:25] It's a nice condom. [67:26] >> Let me stay with you. Come on. I got [67:27] >> I'll stay at the foot of your bed [67:30] and [67:31] >> watch me and my wife do this in the [67:32] middle of the night. Yeah. [67:34] >> I'll make you take pictures of me and my [67:35] wife [ __ ] eat popcorn while you guys [67:37] are [ __ ] like [67:37] >> Why don't you get a nice place and a [67:40] nice penthouse? I know a spot. I know a [67:42] spot. I got a spot for you. [67:44] >> Let me get me a place right above Tony. [67:46] >> Oh, it's it's a nice view. The place the [67:48] place that I'm talking about. [67:50] >> I I literally have a spot. I have a [67:53] spot. It's a nice condo. You don't need [67:55] to live in that nonsense. [67:57] >> You're going to end up here anyway. It's [67:58] going to happen. [67:59] >> It's more fun. [68:00] >> You're having fun over there. [68:02] >> Listen, if you want to work, there's [68:03] plenty of [ __ ] club too early. [68:05] >> Shut up. [68:06] >> Living in Knob Hill. [68:07] >> You said you're fun. [68:08] >> What? [68:09] >> You just said you're just getting [68:10] started. You're not having fun. [68:11] >> I'm not having fun. It's been very [68:13] difficult. [68:13] >> Bale. It's been extremely difficult. Two [68:16] months. I haven't found an apartment. [68:17] I've been turned down by seven [68:18] apartments. [68:18] >> Wow. You got to shave. [68:20] >> There's legit anti-immigration shar. [68:21] I'll give you an apartment for a year [68:23] for free. [68:24] >> Whoa. [68:25] >> Keep it down. Keep it down. [68:28] >> Welcome to Tokyo. [68:31] >> One year. It's a nice twobedroom in a [68:35] gated or or guarded uh building. [68:39] >> Can't spell without [68:40] >> one year for free. [68:41] >> Come on. [68:42] >> Let's get started. [68:43] >> I think it's on the 39th floor. It's a [68:45] great view. [68:46] >> 39th floor. Which one is that? The tall [68:48] thin one. [68:49] >> I'll show you later. [68:50] >> What do you have it for? I I got real [68:52] estate, bro. I'm rich. [68:53] >> Oh, nice. [68:54] >> Wow. Year. [68:55] >> I'll give you one year for free. [68:57] >> You don't have any money? [68:58] >> I don't have any money. [68:59] >> Come on, dog. You don't need any money. [69:01] >> In so long. [69:01] >> Get some money at the mothership. You [69:03] could do a night once a week. You get [69:04] 80% of the door. [69:06] >> Start making money. [69:07] >> Yeah. [69:07] >> You work all around town. You can start [69:09] doing the road in America. Free home of [69:12] the brave. [69:12] >> How long was this offer before you wait [69:14] till he moves to England? I had to go [69:15] through all the paperwork. [69:16] >> Try to lure him back. I didn't think he [69:18] was really going to go through with it. [69:19] I thought he was going to stick with [69:20] Legion of Skanks. [69:21] >> Did I get [ __ ] Francis Foster to be [69:23] my guarantor? They were like, "We don't [69:25] trust you with your money." [69:26] >> I was like, "I make more than him." [69:28] >> They were like, "It's not your It's [69:29] American." [69:30] >> Damn. [69:31] >> They don't trust your money. [69:32] >> I'm freelance, so I have no actual boss, [69:35] no employer. And then it's like, "Do you [69:38] safe, bro? [69:39] >> Can't they just Google you and see your [69:41] Netflix specials?" [69:42] >> I've tried that. [69:42] >> That doesn't work. [69:43] >> The problem is they saw the first one [69:44] first. [69:46] >> Which one? He's got no Amazing Racist. [69:48] >> No. Oh yeah, that' be great. No, they [69:50] would welcome me in. [69:51] >> It's not your Kobe video. Like, uhoh. [69:53] >> There's got to be a British guy out [69:55] there who's hearing this. Like a British [69:56] Rogan who's like, I'll give you a [69:57] >> Jimmy Carr. Jimmy Carr woke you up. [70:00] >> He wrote my uh visa letter. [70:01] >> He's a great guy. [70:02] >> He is a good guy. [70:04] >> Your face is great. [70:04] >> [ __ ] apartment, [70:05] >> dude. I've been turned down by seven [70:07] apartments. [70:08] >> Why don't you live with Eddieard? [70:10] >> Eddie is [70:12] cuz I need some [ __ ] closet space. [70:13] And he's [70:14] >> Listen, why? [70:16] >> He's way out of the closet, bro. [70:18] He's all [70:18] >> I meant for his dresses. [70:20] >> Oh, got it. Um, [70:22] >> listen. Come back. Come back to America. [70:24] It's a cute idea. [70:25] >> You got to hit me up in a year. I [70:26] haven't even got started yet. [70:28] >> Come on. Stop. [70:29] >> It's not going to work. [70:30] >> Can you hand me one of them bottles of [70:31] beer? [70:32] >> Absolutely. [70:33] >> Yeah. Give me one of those lights. [70:35] >> Absolutely. [70:36] >> One of those crisp trying to get fat off [70:38] these IPAs. [70:39] >> Hell yeah. [70:41] >> Give me some keys. Let's do this [70:42] together. [70:42] >> All right. Hold on a second. [70:43] >> Just got some keys. [70:44] >> Keys. Give it a second. What do you [70:45] want? [70:45] >> Keys. Keys. Keys. Keys. It's not time to [70:48] bottom part. Give it a sec. Don't try to [70:49] deflect from your [ __ ] British, [70:51] >> guys. I just started. It's the wrong [70:52] time. [70:53] >> [ __ ] that place. No disrespect to [70:55] English people. I love them to death. [70:56] But [70:57] >> I bought three Tottenham tickets. I'm [70:58] not going now. [70:59] >> Here's the other problem. They're going [71:00] to put you in jail. You talk too much [71:02] [ __ ] [71:02] >> dude. Trust me, I [ __ ] press them. [71:04] >> They're going to print you. You want to [71:06] go to jail, huh? Is that the [71:07] >> I want to [ __ ] rumors. [71:09] >> That's what it is. [71:10] >> Yeah. [71:10] >> He's He's This is a Josh Hokit. Michelle [71:13] Obama's a man on the White House lawn. [71:15] That's what he's doing. He's doing that [71:16] [ __ ] [71:16] >> I got a sweet new bit about Muslim [71:18] drivers, female drivers. [71:20] >> I do too. Let's make sure we don't have [71:22] any crossover. Yeah. Yeah. [71:23] >> Talk about later. [71:25] >> Um, [71:25] >> you don't want to live there, dude. [71:27] >> I do. It's fun. [71:28] >> Shut the [ __ ] up. [71:29] >> You miss us. [71:30] >> You miss us. You were so sad. [71:33] >> Manchester United. That would rock, [71:34] >> dude. December 5th, come to the Derby. [71:36] >> Sure. To visit, right? [71:37] >> To Derby. [71:38] >> What? [71:38] >> Once you live there long enough, you'll [71:40] understand. It's called a Derby. [71:41] >> I just said the Derby. [71:42] >> You called it Derby cuz it's spelled [71:44] Derby. said Derby. [71:45] >> It's a Derby, [71:46] >> lad. Watch the edit. Watch the tape. [71:48] >> I said it. Yeah, watch the tit. Roll [71:50] back. Click back. Click back. [71:51] >> I wish we could rewind. [71:53] >> I think he said Derby. [71:54] >> We need instant replay. [71:56] >> I apologize then. [71:57] >> I thought he said Darby as well. [71:58] >> I'll be the bigger man. Do you see how I [71:59] do that? [72:00] >> You're not a bigger man. You were wrong. [72:02] You mean you're wrong. [72:03] >> I'll see. I'll see. [72:03] >> That's not a bigger man. See, you don't [72:05] know who's right. You were clearly [72:07] wrong. [72:08] >> Hold on a second. Can I speak? [72:11] See, somebody lost the composure. Now, [72:14] when I'm wrong, I go, [72:16] >> I'm I'm wrong. [72:17] >> Okay. [72:17] >> And that's just a lesson for you. [72:20] >> You're wrong. [72:23] >> You can learn from this. [72:25] >> Derby Dreamhouse. [72:29] >> He's back. That nicotine took him out [72:30] for an hour. [72:33] >> I was [ __ ] I was in London. [72:37] >> That was a rush. Not a good rush. [72:40] Couldn't think straight. My legs won't [72:41] stop moving. Now, imagine taking like [72:43] literally 20 of those over the course of [72:46] a night and then trying to go to bed. [72:48] That was me last night. [72:49] >> I was laying in bed. I said, "I think [72:50] I'm done." [72:51] >> Yeah. It's every night. And then I [72:52] listen to that [ __ ] Annie Jacobson [72:53] book every night. I'm like, "Oh [ __ ] [72:56] she scared the [ __ ] from the [ __ ] out of [72:57] me." [72:57] >> Uh, no. [72:58] >> She She's the lady that wrote the book [73:00] on nuclear war. [73:01] >> Nuclear war scenario, which was the [73:03] scariest book I've ever read. [73:04] >> The new one is on biological war. It's [73:07] bad. It's [ __ ] scary. It's like how [73:10] easy it would be to ruin everything. [73:11] >> Yeah. [73:12] Yeah. [73:12] >> And how we're doing it, everyone can [73:14] die. Russia did it and China's [73:16] definitely doing it. [73:17] >> Yeah. We we're making crazy stuff right [73:19] now in labs. Like all this Fouchy [ __ ] [73:21] that's coming out. Like a lot of this [73:23] stuff, what they're really doing is [73:25] warfare stuff. [73:26] >> A lot of these like diseases, this gain [73:28] of function where they're trying to [73:30] pretend that they're trying to protect [73:31] people from future viruses. What they're [73:33] doing is making viruses more [73:36] transmissible and more deadly. And [73:38] they're working on it. Your tax dollars [73:40] are at work. [73:41] >> All right. They made a plague. [73:43] >> They made the bubanic the bubanic plague [73:45] that the first 24 hours [73:47] >> they spliced in a thing that makes it [73:49] you feel euphoric. [73:50] >> It's like ecstasy for 24 hours so that [73:52] you want to go out and talk to people [73:55] and go to a bar and and you want to go [73:57] out and dance. [73:58] >> That's like brilliant and evil at the [73:59] same time. Who's doing that? [74:01] >> The Soviets did it. [74:02] >> Oh, it spreads like a virus. [74:04] >> Oh, and it's 100% [74:07] 100% deadly. Yeah, but the fact that [74:09] they spliced in [74:11] >> ecstasy for 24 hours. So the first 24 [74:13] hours you're like, I got to talk to my [74:15] friends. [74:15] >> You're feeling go out. [74:16] >> Wow, that's genius. [74:18] >> You're calling your friends up, telling [74:19] people about your new protocol. This is [74:21] my new health protocol. [74:22] >> Damn. [74:23] >> Meanwhile, you don't know you have like [74:25] 100% fatal Ebola or whatever it is. [74:27] >> Wow. Is [74:28] >> Yeah. [74:29] >> It's pretty lame. It's pretty lame. [74:31] >> Whoever did this should be executed. [74:33] >> All of them. [74:33] >> All of them. Well, you see the Fouchy [74:35] thing where he knew that women were [74:37] getting miscarriages [74:39] >> and they lied about it. He lied about it [74:42] months after he knew after he expressed [74:45] publicly or privately rather in a text [74:48] message that it seems there's a cytoine [74:50] storm that's causing miscarriages with [74:53] the second dose. So he says this in a [74:56] text message. I don't know if he said [74:57] second dose, but he did say cyto cytoine [75:00] storm that is associated with [75:02] miscarriages and then publicly was out [75:05] there promoting the idea of women who [75:08] are pregnant getting vaccinated when he [75:10] knew there was an issue. And they also [75:12] lied about the number the number of [75:15] women that got [75:17] I don't even want to say what the number [75:19] was because what I'm reading is 80%. 80% [75:22] miscarriage rate in the first trimester. [75:25] something [ __ ] insane. But I [75:27] personally know five people who got [75:30] pregnant during the pandemic, got [75:33] vaccinated, and had miscarriages. Five [75:35] different people. [75:36] >> If I got a girl pregnant, I'd be like, [75:37] "You need to get the vaccine. [75:39] >> You need to be safe. Our baby needs to [75:40] be safe. And you should get both. The [75:42] Mona and the other one just in case." [75:45] >> Dude, it's [ __ ] terrifying. That [75:47] guy's a sociopath. People that are [75:49] thinking that this guy was some sort of [75:50] a [ __ ] healthc care hero. You don't [75:53] know what happened in the8s. You need to [75:55] go and just objectively read up on what [75:59] that guy did with ACT and AIDS in the [76:02] 80s. [76:02] >> I thought he was like an AIDS hero. [76:03] >> [ __ ] monster. [76:04] >> Didn't he do a lot of good with AIDS? [76:06] >> So, no, I'll tell you in a minute. So, [76:08] what does it say? [76:10] >> Uh, cumitive miscarriage rate of 10.8% [76:15] from 6 to 20 weeks with after M mRNA [76:18] vaccination. Just stop and think of [76:20] that. Imagine if you're having a kid and [76:23] Mark, you have a kid. You're the only [76:24] one besides me. [76:26] >> You love your kids more than [ __ ] [76:27] anything in life. The idea that you [76:30] could give a a medica medic medication [76:33] and one out of 10 your baby's dead. [76:37] >> No one's going to sign up for that. And [76:38] what is the odds your wife is going to [76:40] live and everyone's going to be fine? [76:41] It's 99.9999 [76:46] if you're healthy. 99999. [76:50] Meanwhile, this [ __ ] went around [76:52] telling people that they should get [76:54] vaccinated while they're pregnant. [76:56] >> I should have signed [76:57] >> a claim from early 2021 pregnancy [77:00] registry report showed an 81 to 82% [77:02] miscarriage rate. This is misleading [77:04] recalculation of preliminary registry [77:07] data. Many live births in that early [77:10] report involve people vaccinated in late [77:12] pregnancy. So simply removing them from [77:15] the denominator while returning. But the [77:17] issue apparently what he said was in the [77:19] first trimester. That's why it's 82% [77:22] within the first trimester. That's what [77:24] they were saying. This is what I'm [77:26] reading from actual doctors including [77:28] Jay Badacharia was talking about it [77:30] online. So this is like not cooks that [77:32] are talking about this this issue that [77:34] he knew that there was an issue with [77:36] women having miscarriages and that [77:38] [ __ ] still promoted it. He still [77:40] promoted it openly on television. It's [77:42] very important that women get [77:44] vaccinated. That's the most important [77:46] thing. They were just selling vaccines, [77:49] man. They were selling vaccines and [77:51] killing people. [77:52] >> And why the [ __ ] does an 80-year-old [77:53] have a diary? Anyone find that strange [77:56] in a race car [77:58] dream? Today, Jennifer Anist said I was [78:02] lovely. [78:04] >> Julia Roberts called me a hero. [78:07] >> What's he trying to remember? He's going [78:09] to be [ __ ] [78:09] >> Bro, he's a crazy person. [78:11] >> I'm going to look back at this. [78:14] guy's a [ __ ] legit crazy person. [78:16] >> Did uh other [78:18] >> gave people ACT in the 1980s when they [78:21] had AIDS? ACT was a chemotherapy [78:24] medication that they discontinued [78:25] because it was killing people quicker [78:27] than cancer, but it had already passed [78:29] through all the FDA [ __ ] right? So, [78:31] it already been a used drug. So, once [78:33] it's a used drug, you can use it for [78:35] other things. Off label use. [78:37] >> So, that's what they started doing. [78:40] >> No. So that's what they started doing in [78:42] the 80s and they just [ __ ] killing [78:44] people who didn't even have any [78:45] symptoms. Arthur Ash didn't even have [78:47] any symptoms and they just started [78:48] giving him a he was dead in like 6 [78:50] months. [78:51] >> Oh yeah. Yeah. [78:51] >> I think that's the Didn't Berishnikov [78:53] did he die from AIDS as well? [78:55] >> Barishov from Yes. Did he? [78:58] >> He was a homosexual. [78:59] >> Am I Am I making that up? [79:01] >> Pull it up. [79:03] >> Someone like that also died of AIDS that [79:06] didn't have any symptoms but tested [79:07] positive for HIV. And then the problem [79:09] with the testing positive was they were [79:11] doing the same [ __ ] that they were doing [79:13] during the COVID epidemic where 80% plus [79:16] of all the COVID positives were false [79:19] positives because they were using the [79:21] PCR method which Carrie Mullis, the guy [79:24] who invented the PCR method said it's [79:26] not supposed to be ever used to detect [79:28] an actual infection. That's not what [79:30] it's for. It's detecting partic like [79:33] whatever small amount elements depending [79:36] on how many cycles you ramp it up. And [79:38] if you ramp it up enough cycles, you [79:40] could find almost anything. And that's [79:42] what they were finding. There's 80 plus [79:43] percent false positives. [79:45] >> Yeah. [79:46] >> So, how did he die? [79:47] >> He's not dead. [79:48] >> He's not dead. Okay. It wasn't him. [79:50] There was another guy who was a dancer. [79:53] >> Well, you got to have Fouchy on. [79:54] >> Sorry, Mich. [79:57] Yeah, definitely have him on. He'll [79:58] plead the fifth to everything. [79:59] >> Did you see that [ __ ] What color was [80:01] your tie? [80:01] >> I respectfully plead the fifth. [80:05] the gold thing in his mouth. But the [80:08] thing is Biden did all those through [80:10] autopen and Trump just recently made an [80:13] announcement that all the auto pen [80:15] >> What's autopen? [80:16] >> Autopen is you use like a stamp like a [80:20] rubber stamp instead of actually writing [80:22] a signature and they don't count. And [80:24] this is what allegedly supposedly Trump [80:27] is saying that they don't count and he's [80:29] making them all null and void. So that [80:32] means if that's the case that means that [80:33] Biden who pardoned more people than [80:36] anybody ever by far by like a a giant [80:40] jump. He pardoned Fouchy for 10 years [80:44] for things that he didn't do. Trump [80:46] can't void Biden's auto because of [80:48] autopan. So this is uh very recent. [80:50] >> Say he wasn't going to do it. [80:51] >> Okay. But he did it. This is March 17th. [80:54] So this is March 17, 2025. [80:56] >> I know. I saw I but look it up recently [81:00] because he did it on True Social. He he [81:02] talked about it on True Social [81:04] >> unless it's fake. That's the other [81:05] thing. It could be fake. [81:06] >> I'm not like Look, I have done a very [81:09] smart thing over the last 3 months where [81:11] I'm I almost never go on Twitter and I I [81:15] go on Instagram and my curation right [81:17] now is nice. It's all murders and [81:20] science stuff. [81:20] >> Dude, I'll send you some dog videos. Get [81:22] really in there. [81:23] >> I got dog I got dog videos. [81:24] >> Top 10 dogs of the week. We rare dogs. [81:27] Everybody look it up. [81:28] >> Fat asses. [81:29] >> This is Trump says he respects Biden's [81:32] Anthony Fouchy pardon amid outcry over [81:34] his own. [81:35] >> So here's the thing about the autopen. [81:37] If I had to guess, if I had to guess, [81:39] >> I if if you were starting to complain [81:42] about Biden's pardons and then you [81:44] overturned Biden's pardons, at the end [81:47] of this presidency, there's going to be [81:49] a lot of people where the the justice is [81:51] going to be coming for him. Unless a [81:53] Republican gets into office. If JD Vance [81:56] or Marco Rubio wins in 2028, they're [81:58] going to be okay. But if if someone else [82:02] if the guy from Pennsylvania or whoever [82:04] the [ __ ] it is or whatever it is, [82:06] >> are they talking about Shapiro? [82:07] >> Maybe. You know, he's one of the ones [82:09] that they they throw around. [82:10] >> Shapiro. [82:11] >> No, Josh Shapiro. [82:12] >> Josh Shapiro. [82:13] >> There's a few people that they say could [82:14] be the president. The other guys, the [82:16] California [82:17] >> they never try any of them for war [82:18] crimes cuz they're like, I guess you [82:19] guys will come back at me. [82:20] >> Exactly. [82:22] >> Everyone in the government's doing that [82:23] [ __ ] This this government has done some [82:25] [ __ ] that no government has ever done [82:27] before. And one of them is the crypto [82:29] stuff. The crypto stuff's nuts. [82:31] >> Like [82:31] >> Trump has made billions in crypto. Like [82:34] look, [82:35] >> government's so [ __ ] crooked. [82:36] >> And then you got his sons and his sons [82:38] are involved in all these weird business [82:40] deals [82:40] >> where the business deals have to do with [82:42] some things that Trump put and then the [82:43] sons are involved in these businesses [82:45] and like there's a lot of money flowing [82:47] around that you could dig in and and [82:51] start arresting people. So if he pardons [82:53] a bunch of people and gives them the [82:55] same kind of deal that he gave Fouchy [82:57] >> Trump family would do that [82:58] >> Lakers sell Boba Josh Kushner for Yeah, [83:01] but that's his brother. [83:04] >> That's Jared Kushner's brother. He's not [83:06] >> still. But that's just a guy who has [83:08] money. [83:08] >> Dolly Part two weeks ago. [83:11] >> He was at the White House. [83:12] >> Gabe Trump. [83:12] >> Yeah. So was I. So was Shane. You know [83:14] what I'm saying? Like that's the [83:15] problem. [83:15] >> Let's stop bringing up that [83:17] early [83:20] as me to go in the VIP room. I said, "No [83:22] way." [83:22] >> You didn't. I went in there. [83:23] >> [ __ ] no. I knew photos were going to be [83:25] taken. [83:25] >> What was in the champagne room? [83:26] >> Me and Nate Barazi were in there. I [83:28] know. [83:28] >> Chilling. I know. [83:29] >> Look how that turned out. [83:31] >> I stood outside in the rain. I was like, [83:32] I'm not getting my picture taken. [83:33] >> I took zero heat for that event. [83:35] >> But you took photo with Trump a couple [83:37] years back. [83:38] >> It was a funny photo. [83:39] >> That was a great photo. Ridiculous [83:41] >> when you were wearing the Pablo Escobar [83:43] shirt. [83:43] >> Pre a lot of things. [83:44] >> That's true. [83:45] >> That was pre world record. [83:48] >> No, no, no. Not me personally. I mean, [83:49] pretty him. [83:51] >> I was back then when I was taking that [83:52] picture, I was like, "This guy's going [83:53] to release the Epstein files. No more [83:55] wars." [83:55] >> I like that. [83:56] >> Wasn't killing Americans. [83:57] >> Also, still didn't vote. Not a big deal. [84:01] >> The the Epstein files and then the Iran. [84:03] >> I saw you go after uh the vice [84:05] president. It was pretty good. [84:07] >> Well, I had to question him. I mean, you [84:09] know, I want to know like what are you [84:10] saying? [84:11] >> I liked it cuz he was like you were [84:13] like, "Well, maybe they [ __ ] went to [84:14] war with Iran for this." And he's like, [84:16] "Well, I mean, you're saying they [84:17] wouldn't because of that." You're like, [84:18] "All right, put that aside." [84:19] >> He slipped that like Well, I had to have [84:21] a Well, he did a good job of being [84:23] respectful to the president. That's what [84:25] you're supposed to do if you're the vice [84:26] president. That's your job. I mean, it [84:28] really is your job if you you represent. [84:30] It's a different thing just being a guy [84:32] versus being a vice president. [84:34] >> So, he's in a position where I had, you [84:36] know, I asked him a tough question. Do [84:37] you think that Trump would have actually [84:39] bombed Iran and started war with Iran if [84:41] it wasn't for the influence of Israel? [84:43] And he said, I really do. I go, I'm [84:45] like, really? Really? You really think [84:47] so? Why? Like what what makes you think [84:49] that? [84:49] >> We'll give you an honest answer either [84:50] way. [84:50] >> And if you listen to Scott Horton, he [84:52] you know, Scott Horton is an awesome guy [84:55] on all things war, anti-war. And [84:57] >> here's a who. [84:58] >> And his uh [85:00] that's what I was going with. [85:03] >> He explained to me in great depth how [85:05] difficult it is to turn enriched uranium [85:08] into an actual nuclear bomb. And he's [85:10] like, they were nowhere near able to do [85:12] that. And Israel has wanted us to bomb [85:16] Iran forever. They've been going to the [85:18] UN with cartoon bombs saying they're at [85:20] 62%. They're about to get to 80. They're [85:23] they've been doing this forever trying [85:25] to convince United States. And only [85:27] Trump took the bait. [85:28] >> But didn't Hillary want to do it? And [85:30] they just kept kicking it down. [85:32] >> They did. The thing is they didn't do it [85:35] though. They didn't do it though. And [85:37] Trump did. So they all thought about it [85:39] and like this is not the smart thing to [85:41] do. And they look, they [ __ ] ruined [85:43] Libya, right? They did a lot of weird [85:45] [ __ ] that they shouldn't have done, [85:46] >> but they didn't do that one. They tried. [85:49] Everybody tried Syria. [85:50] >> The Iran thing is a big one cuz it's [85:52] like, okay, now what? Cuz now we are the [85:54] great Satan. [85:55] >> Now he's sneaking out in a [ __ ] [85:56] catering cart. [85:57] >> I heard the Iran thing was to get back [85:59] at China. [86:00] >> How crazy was that? They snuck him out. [86:02] I heard that, too. The card of the deal. [86:04] >> They they [86:05] >> I saw you on Twitter. [86:07] >> Oh, you already tweeted that tweet that [86:09] [ __ ] tweeted an hour ago. It [86:11] was solid, fresh in his mind. He's happy [86:13] with it. [86:14] >> Uh, but not only that, they snuck him [86:16] out on another jet and they but they put [86:19] the reporters on Air Force One. [86:21] >> That's wild. Wonderful. That's wild. Cuz [86:23] if that thing blew up in the sky, that [86:25] would be [ __ ] wild. [86:26] >> I would love to see those reporters like [86:27] that, Father Trump's pretty good guy. [86:30] Free PJ [86:31] eating cheese. Those cheese with the [86:33] toothpicksum. [86:37] >> Yeah. Yeah, they're sitting there like [86:38] normally he comes out of that back room [86:39] and makes fun of us by now. [86:41] >> PJs are the greatest thing about being [86:42] rich comes out, calls one of us a fat [86:45] [ __ ] and then goes back inside. [86:47] >> Quiet piggy. [86:50] >> Quiet piggy was [86:53] one of the greatest [ __ ] things the [86:54] president's ever said. [86:55] >> I heard one that it wasn't end up being [86:57] real, but it was it made me laugh so [86:58] hard when he told Elon Musk to go back [87:00] to Africa. [87:01] >> No, I never turned out not to be real, [87:03] but I like Dan. That's funny. That's [87:05] fun. [87:05] >> Him and Elon are are close again, which [87:07] is so weird. [87:08] >> I think when you're on your second term, [87:10] you're like, "Ah, [ __ ] it. Let's let's [87:11] let's let it ride. [87:14] >> As much money as he can." And [87:15] >> there's a lot of that. [87:16] >> But he's also How old is he? Why why 84? [87:18] >> What happens when you're 80 where you're [87:19] like, "I need to do all this [87:21] >> because he's got to protect himself [87:22] legally." [87:23] >> Let's imagine he stays alive for the [87:25] next 10 years. Just think about what [87:27] they did to him with the Russia Russia [87:28] Russia [ __ ] and then with uh the [87:31] real estate [ __ ] [87:32] >> Now they gave him real stuff. Well, [87:34] here's the thing, though. He needs real [87:36] money. You need real money to fight that [87:38] stuff. Like, the amount of money that he [87:40] spent in legal fees for the for the [87:43] Manhattan real estate thing or the the [87:44] the Palm Beach real estate thing, the [87:46] Mara Lago when they said the Mara Lago [87:48] is worth $18 million. [87:49] >> Sure. Right. [87:50] >> Mara Lago is worth hundreds of millions [87:52] of dollars. [87:52] >> Pay taxes on it. [87:53] >> No, it's like they tried to get him for [87:55] real estate fraud. They tried to get [87:56] That was that lady. What the [ __ ] her [87:58] name? Leticia James. So there's they're [88:01] they're going after him using all these [88:03] lawsuits that are frivolous. They don't [88:05] make any sense. So by doing that and [88:07] trying to bankrupt him or at least [88:09] trying to put him in jail, like he [88:11] realizes that, okay, I need a ton of [88:14] money to protect myself. [88:15] >> Now he's actually doing things that are [88:18] going to get him in trouble. [88:19] >> Okay. So what's going to get him in [88:21] trouble? So here's the question. The [88:23] thing about the crypto is it's shady as [88:25] [ __ ] but it's legal. [88:28] >> I don't know. Yep. I don't know if it [88:30] should be. I don't I don't know what the [88:31] deal is. I I mean, I don't understand [88:33] crypto really. I've had a bunch of [88:35] people try to get me into crypto. [88:37] >> Understand got in trouble for this? [88:39] >> She did, but it wasn't her fault. Hakua, [88:41] that poor lady, she got roped into [88:43] something in a pump and dump. And she [88:45] she's not sophisticated. [88:48] >> Spit on it. [88:49] >> She's a young lady and I guarantee you [88:52] by hearing her talking about spitting on [88:54] [ __ ] she hasn't spent a lot of time in [88:56] economics class. [89:00] trickle down. [89:01] >> So, she probably got talked to into it [89:04] by a bunch of slick people. Look, she's [89:06] [ __ ] like 21 years old. She was never [89:09] famous at all. She has one little tiny [89:12] video where she says she got a spit on [89:14] that thing and then everybody loves her [89:16] and she's trying to make money and then [89:18] someone comes along and says, "Hey, [89:19] we're going to make this coin. It's a [89:20] It's totally legal." [89:21] >> Who do you think came along? [89:23] >> I don't know. [89:24] >> Somebody came. [89:27] I'm not antic. [89:28] >> Donald Trump reported more than 1.4 [89:30] billion in cryptoreated income from [89:32] 2025, the first year of his second term, [89:35] according to his federal financial [89:36] disclosure. That's a lot of money for a [89:38] year. [89:39] >> Pump and dump on his own people. [89:41] >> He did. So ridiculous. [89:42] >> Well, I don't know if he did. This is my [89:44] question. But here's my question. [89:45] >> Trumpcoin's not making any [89:46] >> I understand. But this is my question. [89:49] Who's really investing in Trumpcoin? And [89:51] is it me and my dad, but is it in fact a [89:54] way to pay someone? Let me let me say [89:56] this because I don't know who's buying [89:58] it. I'm just guessing. But let's just [89:59] make up a fake scenario where I talk you [90:03] into making a Gillis coin, okay? And I [90:06] say, "Listen, dude, dude, dude, dude. [90:08] Listen to us. We're going to make a [90:09] Gillis coin and I am going to personally [90:12] cuz like you did something for me and I [90:14] can't pay you because that's illegal for [90:16] this thing." So, what we're going to do [90:18] is [90:18] >> talk about it. Instead of you like [90:20] hooking me up with deals and making sure [90:22] the regulations get killed and all, [90:25] instead what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna [90:28] put a billion dollars into this [ __ ] [90:31] Trump coin or this Gillis coin, excuse [90:33] me. And then we're going to have a bunch [90:35] of other people throw a little bit of [90:36] money in there, but the whole evaluation [90:38] is going to be very high. So there's [90:40] going to be a few morons that are like [90:41] gamblers that want to get in and try to [90:43] sell, which definitely people [90:44] >> who car it is. I think it's influencers [90:46] doing [90:46] >> there's a lot there's a lot of that. [90:47] There's a lot of gamblers, but there's [90:48] also it's a sneaky way to pay somebody [90:50] off, [90:52] >> right? If I invest, [90:53] >> you raise the money by Shafir coin. We [90:56] make Shafir coin. I tell you, it's not [90:58] in England. So, if I but if I tell you [91:01] can't even sell an improv. [91:02] >> If I tell like if somehow or another we [91:04] did something shady and I owed you some [91:06] money and I'm like, look, I can't just [91:07] give you money, but this is what we're [91:09] going to do. We're going to start a coin [91:11] and then I am going to finance your [91:13] coin. So, I'm going to pour a bunch of [91:14] money into your coin as an anonymous [91:16] investor in an overseas account. I'm [91:18] going to dump a shitload of money into [91:20] this coin, and then we're going to hype [91:22] it up. We're going to get a bunch of [91:23] other people involved, and then we're [91:24] going to pull some money out of it for [91:25] you. [91:27] >> And then you sell, and then I think [91:29] that's all they're really doing right [91:30] now. They get some like influencer to go [91:33] in, it raises up, and they sell off [91:35] little bits at a time. [91:36] >> It's corrupt musical chairs. It's like, [91:38] you know, when you're going to stop the [91:40] music. [91:40] >> Yeah. M what about the insider trading? [91:44] >> Well, there's that. That's the other [91:46] thing. I mean, uh D. Rosa was here [91:48] yesterday. D. Rosa was uh talking about [91:50] how when he worked for the Senate and he [91:52] was saying like these [ __ ] people, [91:54] >> wait, what the [ __ ] [91:55] >> Texas. [91:56] >> Yeah, D. Rosa worked for the Senate. [91:58] >> Joseph, [91:59] >> he did. And he was involved. What do you [92:02] do? Get them all one extra shot. [92:04] >> What did he say, Jamie? He was involved [92:06] in something in the media. [92:08] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they made him KFC, [92:10] >> some media department, some some part of [92:12] it. But the point is, he was saying, [92:14] "This is crazy. We see these people and [92:16] they're getting like $150,000 a year, [92:19] but that's a tiny percentage of what [92:21] they're making, all these donations that [92:22] they're getting, all these deals they're [92:24] doing in business. [92:24] >> They're doing baseball to get around the [92:25] salary cap or whatever." [92:28] >> They're just like, "We'll give you a [92:28] job." [92:29] >> Dodgers. [92:29] >> What? [92:30] >> I hate the Dodgers. [92:30] >> Hate the Dodgers. [92:31] >> They're slipping, huh? [92:32] >> You guys hate losing right now. [92:34] >> Why do you hate the Dodgers? They're [92:35] just the best team ever and they bought [92:36] all the players. That Asian kid Otami, [92:39] >> he is a tall. [92:40] >> Is he the best ever? [92:41] >> Otani. [92:42] >> Probably numbers wise. [92:43] >> Eager will argue that, but last few [92:44] years he is. [92:45] >> Yeah, he could be if he keeps doing what [92:46] he's doing. [92:47] >> In the last few years, he's the been the [92:48] best. [92:48] >> You see Wade Bogs on uh he was fishing [92:52] with his shirt off, [ __ ] jacked. He's [92:54] like 100 years old. [92:55] >> Yeah, he looks amazing. He looks great. [92:56] And he beat cancer. [92:58] >> Really? [92:58] >> He beat cancer and his wife. [93:00] >> He won the World Series. He got on a [93:02] police horse. [93:04] Well, when I was living in Boston, he [93:06] was going through that whole cheating [93:08] scandal. Like he had a little flooy on [93:10] the side and it all went public. But [93:12] look at him. But show the full picture [93:15] though. There's a better [93:16] >> There's a better version of that picture [93:18] where you see his arms and everything as [93:20] well. There he is. Look at that. [93:22] >> He's living jacked. [93:23] >> It's like the Expendables, bro. [ __ ] [93:25] B. Yankee great. [93:26] >> He's Chuck Norris, right? Boston. Yankee [93:29] great. [93:29] >> Look how great he looks. He's [ __ ] first [93:31] of all, look how lean he is. [93:33] [ __ ] dude is in shape. [93:34] >> Looks like Kum Nani. [93:35] >> He's got the appendix scar, too. [93:40] >> How much better would the world be if we [93:41] got all those progressive dorks to get [93:43] on the Camille Aniani diet? [93:46] >> All of them. [93:48] >> All those dorks talking about their [93:51] friends have trans friends. Like, stop. [93:54] >> Your kids are nine. They don't have [93:55] trans friends. [93:56] >> Give me a Could you hand me the [93:58] >> You don't have Your nine-year-old kids [94:00] don't have trans friends. here. You need [94:01] testosterone and start doing some [94:02] deadlifts [94:05] >> and you'd be like, "Yeah, this is [94:06] crazy." [94:07] >> And now he's a marvel. Kuml's a cool [94:08] guy. [94:09] >> I like him a lot. He's a very nice guy. [94:11] Very I've only had a few [94:13] >> I've only had a few interactions with [94:14] him, but they've been very nice. He's a [94:16] very nice guy. [94:17] >> And I like the fact that he got jacked. [94:19] >> Jacked. [94:20] >> [ __ ] you. [94:20] >> A Marvel hero. [94:21] >> [ __ ] you. This idea you can't be funny, [94:23] be jacked. Suck it. Suck it. [94:25] >> Shut your [ __ ] dirty, stinky hole. [94:28] You know nothing. There's no rules. [94:30] There's no [ __ ] rules. [94:32] >> Cardigans on stage. You got to cover up. [94:34] >> Well, it's just distracting. [94:37] >> [ __ ] ass. [94:40] >> Girls go the other way. [94:42] >> Rangers are kicking your ass. [94:43] >> But it doesn't work. I remember we were [94:45] walk kicking my ass. [94:47] >> Voodoo Rangers. [94:48] >> The new Rangers. [94:49] >> Your drinks. [94:50] >> Oh, yeah. They are. They get me. [94:53] They get me lit. [94:53] >> That's a good name for you. The Voodoo [94:55] Ranger. Uh me and Fitz Simmons walked [94:57] into uh the comedy store one night and [94:59] there was this lady on stage that had a [95:00] short leather minikrt, high heels, great [95:03] legs, big tits, like mom and she was on [95:07] stage and she was talking and I I just [95:09] turn we walked in. I turned him [95:11] instantly. I go, "What are the odds that [95:13] she's funny?" [95:14] >> And he goes, "One in a billion." I go, [95:16] "Zero. There's 0%. There's no chance. [95:18] There's not a chance in hell that this [95:20] young lady who's that hot is funny. It's [95:23] not possible. I think Judy Gold's [95:24] hilarious. [95:27] >> Boy, imagine her in a skirt. Woo! See [95:30] that labia hanging? [95:32] >> Jesus. [95:34] Cut that. Sorry. Good choice. [95:36] >> You didn't deserve that. [95:37] >> She'd be getting kicked out of [95:38] bathrooms. [95:39] >> Go, sir. Get the [ __ ] out of here. [95:44] >> Word. Cut it. J Mo. Time the note. Note [95:47] the time. [95:48] >> Cut it and we're back. Were you joking [95:49] around? [95:50] >> Hey, cut it like Perez Hilton. [95:52] >> Cut it again. And we're back. [95:53] >> Do you Tim Dylan thinks it's fake? [95:56] >> I thought it was fake. [95:56] >> He thinks some of the cuts are fake. He [95:58] thinks he was like some covered himself [96:00] with paint or something. [96:01] >> That's exactly what I just said. [96:02] >> You really think that? [96:03] >> Yeah, I watched it. [96:04] >> He knows the game [96:06] >> like rubbing a knife against him. [96:08] >> Pull it up. [96:08] >> And there's no cuts when he does it. [96:10] >> I thought this I thought the report said [96:13] he was hospitalized with serious [96:15] injuries [96:15] >> and I thought there was drugs involved. [96:17] >> Brain damage [96:17] >> like oing kind of stuff [96:19] >> probably. [96:20] Well, he said he wanted the cops to [96:22] shoot him [96:22] >> for real. Like [96:23] >> listen again. I didn't watch it, but I [96:25] was listening to Tim [96:27] >> two bits on the [ __ ] studio anymore. [96:30] >> What? [96:31] >> What? What the [ __ ] did he just say? [96:33] >> This is what we were talking on the [96:34] phone yesterday. [96:34] >> This is why English [96:37] mumbles. And you're like, what are you [96:38] talking about? I don't know what you [96:39] just said. [96:40] >> You have so much energy. You can [96:42] translate. [96:42] >> You won't let me piss in the studio [96:43] anymore. [96:44] >> There you go. [96:45] >> You should move to uh the north. [96:47] >> That's right. In England. [96:48] >> Yeah, you can piss anywhere. piss in the [96:49] corner. [96:51] >> Piss in your own apartment on the floor. [96:52] No one cares, [96:53] >> man. My tour in Wales, I got heckled by [96:56] those guys. You don't know what the [ __ ] [96:57] they're saying. [96:58] >> The whole crowd laughs. You're like, [96:59] damn. [97:00] >> Yeah. [97:00] >> Must have been a good one, [97:02] >> right? [97:02] >> What's that, sir? [97:03] >> Oh man, I did Glasgow. Those heckles are [97:05] wild. [97:06] >> I did Dublin and I did um I did Belfast [97:09] back in the day. That Belfast was the [97:10] craziest. Like, you don't understand a [97:12] word. They're saying [97:12] >> nothing. [97:13] >> Don't understand a word. [97:14] >> Scotland. I couldn't understand a word. [97:15] I was uh drunk at a I went to a bar and [97:17] me and this one dude I never I just met [97:19] this guy at a bar and we just started [97:20] throwing down and uh four or five drinks [97:23] in he's just like I'll fight any man [97:26] [ __ ] chocolate whoever it is. I'll [97:29] fight any man. I'm like I believe you. I [97:32] believe you. [97:32] >> He's not saying I love that he's not [97:34] saying he's going to win. He's just like [97:35] I'll [ __ ] do it. [97:36] >> I'll fight any man. He wanted me to [97:38] know. He wanted me to know that he and [97:40] I'm like I believe you. [97:41] >> Those are the best. Let's have another [97:42] drink. [97:43] >> They're literally the best bros of all [97:44] time. Yeah, they're fine. [97:45] >> Remember, I grew up with guys like that [97:47] who it was a good time. [97:47] >> You were glad they were on your side [97:49] because they were just totally insane. [97:50] >> I miss those days where I could just go [97:52] to a bar and just just pull up and just [97:54] get lit. [97:56] >> It was you can't do that. [97:57] >> It's too hard. It's too too many people [97:59] come over. Too many back then. So, this [98:01] is like 2007 or some [ __ ] There's no [98:05] cameras. There's no phones. Nobody [98:07] There's no iPhone yet. So, it's like [98:09] people were just hanging out. [98:10] >> Cameras have ruined I think Phones can't [98:13] cut loose. ruined everything in terms of [98:15] like people's connection with each [98:16] other. [98:17] >> Oh, that too. 100%. Spying on each [98:19] other. [98:20] >> The old phones that was as far as we [98:22] should have went. Flip phone that you [98:23] could text on and the texting sucked. [98:26] >> And then we know it's bad and we still [98:27] can't stop. [98:28] >> Yeah, we can't stop. [98:29] >> It's got got too much good [ __ ] on it. [98:31] >> But I pulled back considerably like I [98:34] was saying over the last three months. [98:35] Just decided enough is enough. [98:37] >> I just decided enough is enough. I'm [98:39] like, I don't like how I feel when I [98:41] just scroll through doom. [98:43] >> You get off for an hour, sometimes [98:44] you're just like, what the [ __ ] [98:46] >> I know you're bummed out. [98:47] >> I got like, you know, I can't look at it [98:49] anymore. Like, I can't [98:50] >> cuz it's about you. [98:51] >> It's just negative. [98:52] >> Yeah. [98:55] It hurts. So, it's not like I'm like [98:56] making a disciplined choice to be like, [98:57] I don't want to look at this anymore. [98:59] Like, I I haven't looked at Reddit in [99:00] forever [99:01] >> for years. I can't look at Twitter [99:03] anymore. [99:03] >> They'll show everything. They'll show [99:05] you a picture of a nature and they go, [99:07] well, not everyone can afford to get [99:08] there. You're like, "Oh, damn. God, [99:11] >> it genuinely like makes me feel bad." [99:13] So, it's like I can't even like I mean, [99:15] of course I can, but like I don't want [99:16] to click on it anymore. [99:17] >> You don't want to live in their world. [99:20] You don't want to be in their head and [99:21] they don't want to either. And the only [99:23] way for them out is to not do that. And [99:25] if they keep doing it and keep living in [99:27] that [ __ ] same swamp of ideas, [99:29] they're never going to change. [99:30] >> But my dad my dad just got on Instagram [99:32] reels, which is very fun. [99:36] >> He's ticking. He's sending us [ __ ] AI [99:39] dog dog videos like dogs driving cars. [99:43] That's positive. [99:44] >> Oh, no. It's great. And uh it's a nice [99:46] thing for me and him. Like I'll send him [99:47] Instagram reels of like, [99:49] >> you know, Larry Bird highlights. I send [99:51] him like some white safeties from the [99:53] 90s [ __ ] laying guys out like John [99:55] Lynch highlight videos. Speaking of J [99:57] Mo, toss up a little John Lynch [99:58] highlight video for the boys, dude. [100:00] >> That that's the best way. [100:01] >> I [ __ ] love it. [100:02] >> It's the best way for guys to connect is [100:04] like here's a funny meme. Here's a video [100:06] cuz we got nothing to say. [100:07] >> Hey, I'm going to tell you guys [100:08] something. We have to edit this out cuz [100:10] no one can know yet. [100:12] >> Pause. [100:12] >> No. [100:14] >> Yes. [100:15] >> By the way, I'm glad we didn't do that. [100:17] Oh, we're back. And we're back. And [100:18] we're back. I'm glad we didn't. We We're [100:20] talking about doing one with Hunter [100:22] Biden, but now everybody's doing one [100:23] with him. Tucker just did it. Chris [100:25] Williamson, Duncan Trussell, Matt [100:28] McCusker, and Biden. They stole our [100:31] China did. [100:31] >> They stole our protective part. [100:32] >> [ __ ] William did. They're trying. [100:35] They're trying. [100:36] >> We wish you the best. [100:37] >> Good luck. [100:38] >> Good luck. [100:38] >> Oh, you didn't do it. [100:39] >> Highlights. Hey, look at that. Joe, [100:41] you're going to like this. John Lynch [100:44] playing the hammer, [100:44] >> bro. Pick. Let's go. 47. Boom. [100:48] >> Let's go. Get the [ __ ] out of here, [100:49] [ __ ] [100:52] >> [ __ ] [100:53] >> What kind of You got You got to do a [100:55] season on the sidelines like calling [100:56] games. [100:57] >> You know what you should do? You know [100:58] how I do a fight companion for fights? [101:01] >> You should do a game companion. Ooh, [101:04] >> it would be [ __ ] Giants. I couldn't [101:08] do Notre Dame. [101:10] >> I'm just dead silent the entire game, [101:12] >> right? [101:13] >> Okay. [101:13] >> You see that guy Phillies game? [101:15] >> What about NFL? [101:16] >> I could do the Eagles. I could I could [101:17] have a little more fun with the Eagles. [101:18] >> Dude, you know how fun that would be? [101:20] You, McCusker, [101:21] >> Jaylen Herz, [101:21] >> football players. [101:22] >> Jaylen Herz, [101:23] >> get him in there. [101:23] >> Get a football player in. [101:25] >> Oh, yeah. [101:26] >> But get uh Taylor. Get Taylor. [101:31] >> Yeah. Or Will. Yeah. Both of them [101:33] together. [101:34] >> That would blow. [101:34] >> How about that? You, McCusker, Taylor, [101:36] and Will, [101:37] >> let us use your studio. [101:38] >> Do you know 100%. [101:41] >> Locking in. [101:41] >> There it is. [101:43] >> Like, what the [ __ ] [101:44] >> J Mo will be involved. [101:45] >> It would be a great idea. [101:47] >> Sundays. [101:48] >> I wouldn't mind a football little [101:49] >> occasional Thursday. We get a couple in [101:51] here. Watch the [101:52] >> Dude, a football companion would be sick [101:54] with you guys. That would literally [101:57] come out. [101:57] >> You could totally use this place. [101:59] >> 12 here, [102:00] >> bro. That would be so sick. And it [102:02] you're like Adam will come out with me [102:04] on Sundays when I'm in Austin and he [102:06] doesn't drink. So like we'll come out. [102:08] We'll watch the 1:00 game. We'll get a [102:10] I'll get a buzz going. [102:11] >> He would relapse for that. [102:12] >> All right. 400 p.m. We'll stay for the 4 [102:14] p.m. [102:14] >> Spike is relap for less. [102:16] >> I'm drinking for the 400 p.m. They go, [102:18] "Fuck it. We're already out here. We [102:19] might as well stay for Sunday night [102:20] football." The 8:00 p.m. [102:23] >> There it is. [102:24] >> For 3 hours. [102:25] >> He hangs out with me for 14 hours. [102:27] >> Not drinking. That's crazy. And [102:28] >> I'm [ __ ] devastated. [102:32] every day. [102:33] >> Yeah, I think that would be a killer [102:35] move. That wouldn't Listen, we've done [102:37] fight companions that got way more views [102:38] than the actual UFC itself. And I think [102:40] that like [102:41] >> Matt football. [102:42] >> No, but that's what makes it good. [102:44] >> Yeah. Well, Matt's just funny as [ __ ] [102:45] >> Matt's funny. And he You can ask him [102:47] about football and he'll answer [102:48] earnestly. He'll be like, "Who do you [102:50] think's going to win?" He'll be like, [102:51] "The Jets." [102:53] >> They suck, dude. You have no idea. [102:56] >> That's a great idea. [102:57] >> We would have to Yeah. No, you do [103:00] whatever you want. [103:00] >> Total great. It's a great idea. [103:02] >> Try one. [103:03] >> Definitely do it. [103:04] >> I couldn't do college football though. [103:06] >> Yeah, I get it. I get too invested. [103:07] >> Going to be going to a lot of UT games. [103:09] We got to get you to a Texas game this [103:10] year. [103:11] >> Oh, yeah. [103:11] >> Texas. I've been to them. [103:12] >> Texas Ohio State, [103:14] >> dude. I I went to three last year. Texas [103:18] tailgate. They got a good tailgate. The [103:20] >> best is the nighttime games. Nighttime [103:22] games are fun. [103:23] >> Night games, [103:23] >> bro. Nighttime games are lit. They get [103:25] crazy. They're fun. [103:27] >> Any live event is fun. any sporting [103:28] event. [103:29] >> Yeah, but there's something about Texas [103:30] and football where it's like an [103:32] institution. [103:34] >> Oh, I went to the LSU games in college [103:35] and it was it was like the Coliseum. [103:38] >> It was insane. [103:39] >> What do we got here? September 12th, [103:41] 6:30, Ohio State versus Texas. [103:43] >> That's the one. [103:44] >> Let's go. That is uh only uh No, that's [103:48] the weekend before. That's the weekend. [103:51] There's When's the UFC? There's a UFC in [103:54] that [103:54] >> 911 range. [103:56] >> The Jets. Oh, it's the weekend after. [103:58] It's the 18th and 19th. That's in LA. [104:02] >> There's a UFC in LA. If you guys want to [104:04] take over the Comedy Store for a [104:05] weekend. [104:06] >> Oh [ __ ] [104:07] >> What day? [104:08] >> 18th and 19th. The 19th is the UFC. The [104:10] 18th. We could September [104:11] >> take over on Friday. [104:13] >> Damn. [104:14] >> What do you say, fellas? What do you [104:16] say? [104:17] >> Taking over the world. [104:18] >> PJ 7th. No doubt. [104:19] >> Let's go. [104:20] >> I know. But we still got to go see [104:22] Kanye. That's the big [104:23] >> Kanye September 4th. [104:24] >> Does he have any other shows announced? [104:27] I'm not sure. The third and fourth in [104:28] Chicago. [104:29] >> Is he gonna let you sing a song like [104:31] Bryant? [104:31] >> I'm gonna stand on the top of the globe [104:33] and do stand up [104:36] >> before he comes out. I'm going to do one [104:37] bit. [104:38] >> I got a question. What are the the [104:40] ancient Jews that had the box on the [104:43] head? [104:43] >> Not around. [104:44] >> They still box. [104:47] Okay. What's the box? [104:48] >> It's got a GPS in there so you could [104:50] plan out [104:52] >> where the [ __ ] beepers are. Jakarta [104:54] is going to be nuts. [104:56] Jakarta. [104:57] >> Almati. Holy [ __ ] Where's the Where's [104:59] Almadi? What is that? [105:01] >> New Orleans. [105:02] >> New Orleans would be fun. [105:03] >> Wait, where's New Orleans? When's New [105:04] Orleans? Wait. [105:04] >> Yeah. When's New Orleans? [105:06] >> Kazakhstan. [105:07] >> Kazix doing [105:10] Kazakhstan. That's crazy. [105:12] >> Let's go to Kaz. [105:12] >> Doing a stadium in Kazakhstan. Hey, [105:15] Super Dome in New Orleans would be fun. [105:17] >> That's fun. [105:18] >> Or we could just go to Jakarta and get [105:19] killed. [105:20] >> Let's go to Jakarta. [105:21] >> September 4th. September 4th is the [105:22] move. Or third. Third or fourth is the [105:25] move. I don't know if I still have it in [105:26] me, boys. I'm I'm so these days, dude. I [105:28] don't even know if I can bong beer these [105:29] days. [105:29] >> America, [105:30] >> you got it. Muscle memory kick in. [105:32] >> What changed? [105:33] >> I'm just gay now. [105:34] >> Do it for America. [ __ ] England. [105:36] >> America. [ __ ] yeah. [105:40] >> Yeah, I still got it. [105:42] >> Chicago is only about [105:44] >> Doesn't go away. [105:44] >> How many hours is Chicago from here by [105:48] plane? [105:49] >> Hour and a half. Two central. [105:52] So we could conceivably do a podcast on [105:56] that Thursday the 3rd and fly straight [105:59] to Chicago [106:01] on the plane. [106:02] >> Do a podcast on the plane. [106:04] >> Nice. [106:04] >> Why not? [106:05] >> Nice. [106:06] >> Microphone. [106:07] >> Are you cool with Kanye? [106:09] >> Do beef. We met. [106:10] >> What? When? [106:13] >> LA in the Yeah. [106:14] >> Will you please show up with a Yamicon? [106:16] >> Oh, get the box. [106:19] >> Tell me about the box. [106:20] >> Yeah. What's going on with that box? [106:21] What's in the box? [106:22] >> What's in the box? [106:23] >> What's in the box? [106:25] >> It's got some prayers in there. Ain't a [106:26] big deal. [106:27] >> It's got prayers. [106:28] >> It's got some codes. [106:29] >> No, really. What is actually in the box? [106:31] Are you not tell the [106:32] >> I think it's biblical scripture. [106:33] >> Yeah, it's scripture. It's like hero [106:35] Israel. [106:36] >> The bigger the box, the more scripture [106:37] you got in there, the more pious you [106:39] are. [106:40] >> Write it. [106:40] >> That's what it is. [106:42] >> You got a fat box, you know? Look at [106:44] that guy. [106:45] >> Yeah. [106:46] >> No, those cost like 15 grand, dude. [106:48] >> That's tight. [106:48] >> Obviously. [106:49] >> You know what's weird? You ever seen [106:50] those uh ancient Chinese sculptures that [106:53] show a guy with a box on his head that [106:54] looks like like he's got a giant nose? [106:57] Have you seen those? [106:57] >> No. [106:58] >> What? [106:58] >> You saying Jews visited China? [107:00] >> I believe so. [107:01] >> Um there's a an [107:05] early to get our Chinese food. [107:06] >> See if you can find those, Jamie. [107:08] There's Chinese sculptures of dudes that [107:10] have boxes in their head and then people [107:11] have looked at them. [107:13] >> Look at that. Hey, [107:14] >> you're saying that? [107:15] >> No, that's not the one. [107:16] >> No way. No way. That's not what I was [107:18] talking about, Jamie. [107:20] >> There's some There's some way better [107:21] ones. [107:24] Ask for [107:25] >> What the hell boxing you talking about? [107:27] >> There's other ones that look like way [107:29] more normal. [107:30] >> Joe, I think you got hit with Jewish AI. [107:32] >> Yeah. Yeah. [107:39] >> Oh my god, that's so funny. [107:42] >> I'm telling you, I saw one with the box [107:44] on the head. The guy had the box. [107:47] Ladies, [107:47] >> what's in the box? [107:51] >> But it's just prayers. [107:52] >> It's just prayers [107:53] >> curled up. [107:54] >> What a great idea. Have a box of prayers [107:57] about [107:58] >> Come on. What is it? Four skkins. [107:59] >> What do you got? [108:00] >> How much would people mock a map to the [108:02] lost world? [108:02] >> Christians if they carried a Bible on [108:04] their head like a [ __ ] chin strap. [108:06] >> Yeah. [108:07] >> Yeah. The Christian got something with [108:08] that Pope hat. It's nothing to sneeze [108:10] at. [108:10] >> Pope's nuts. driven in sense that [108:13] they're all [108:15] >> the thing is people have to wear a crazy [108:17] wizards costume to get you to convince [108:18] that they're different than you. [108:20] >> Bro, if you go if you go to cool ass [108:22] outfit Pope has cool [108:23] >> if you go to the church of the holy [108:24] supplar has cool outfits and he's got a [108:27] car [108:27] >> and he's got a sick car. [108:29] >> He's got a mobile pope mobile. This new [108:31] guy doesn't use the pope mobile though. [108:32] >> What? [108:33] >> Yeah. This new guy is like the [108:35] egalitarian pope. He's like a different [108:37] kind of pope. [108:37] >> So he sit in storage. [108:38] >> He got rid of the throne. Got a regular [108:40] seat. [108:41] Leno's driving it. [108:42] >> Likes the gays. [108:43] >> He likes the gays, man. [108:44] >> Like the gays. [108:45] >> Oh yeah, [108:46] >> that's the hat. [108:47] >> What an old lady hat. [108:48] >> That was like Bishop Don Juan type [ __ ] [108:50] >> Hug. The drip's severe, dude. [108:53] >> That's a weird one. [108:55] >> That shit's awesome, [108:56] >> bro. Look at that hat. That's crazy. [108:57] >> Wow. Hold on. [108:59] >> It's tough to drive with that. [109:00] >> Imagine any other job. Imagine if that [109:02] guy was a CEO of United Healthcare. You [109:05] >> like, why does he dress like that? Any [109:07] other job where you dress like that, [109:09] people would think you're a [ __ ] [109:10] idiot. Yam Jesus didn't found when uh [109:13] where [109:14] >> right bottom right [109:14] >> cuz he had to visit the Holy Land. [109:16] >> That's a big yam. [109:17] >> I don't think that's a real Yam. I think [109:19] that's like a Pope cap. Always wear [109:20] >> it. It's different. [109:20] >> It's cold in there. [109:22] >> Yeah, [109:22] >> it's the same. [109:23] >> No, it's not. [109:23] >> Oh, he's got a sock tattoo hat on. [109:24] >> It's covering his whole head. [109:25] >> Oh, yeah. He's a Chicago guy. [109:26] >> It's covering the whole head, bro. [109:27] >> Show the White Socks. Oh, look at that [109:29] white socks. [109:30] >> They did Pope night the other night and [109:32] everybody got one of the Pope hats. [109:33] That's hilarious. [109:34] >> And then they had a nice moment. [109:37] >> Tommy Pope hat. [109:38] >> Tommy's like for me. I've barely even [109:40] been to Chicago. [109:41] >> It is weird that we let them dress like [109:43] that. I mean, this is [ __ ] insane. [109:45] >> But there's no other job where you're [109:47] allowed to dress like that. [109:48] >> Look at that guy. [109:50] >> That's a crazy outfit. [109:52] >> Toss those out for the White Sox fans. [109:54] Then they had a [109:55] >> uh peace be with you with the entire [109:57] crowd from the Catholics and everybody [109:58] shook each other's hands and I love when [110:00] they do that. That's nice. [110:01] >> Have me and Tony, have me and Duncan [110:03] rather have we ever dressed like popes? [110:05] >> Duncan did. [110:06] >> That's sacriiggious. [110:07] >> We've dressed like priests, right? We [110:09] did priests. [110:10] >> Uh oh. [110:11] >> Every time we do a podcast, Duncan and [110:12] I, we wear different outfits. [110:14] >> The most difficult was furries. [110:16] >> You did a fries. [110:17] >> Yeah. You wear the helmet and you're [110:19] like, "Respect to the furries." Yeah, [110:20] >> cuz this [ __ ] thing is tough to wear. [110:22] >> Let's see the furry. [110:23] >> Yeah. We've been [110:24] >> You dress like green man. [110:25] >> Oh, we dress like everything. We dress [110:27] like Tesla robots. That was one. [110:29] >> Look at that. [110:30] >> We dress like demons. [110:31] >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. If you go back through [110:33] the catalog, [110:34] >> that's great. [110:36] >> That was Halloween with Elon. Me and [110:38] Elon did a podcast and I dressed like [110:40] that guy. [110:40] >> The Joe Rogan guy. [110:43] Puerto Rican. [110:43] >> I would have thought that was me. If I [110:45] didn't know that was me. [110:47] >> Cuz I think that's the one you guys were [110:48] being quoted on CNN by some [110:52] >> with a bunch of candles. [110:53] >> Candles. I'm like this is a serious [110:56] podcast. [110:56] >> The one we were quoted on CNN, we were [110:58] literally dressed like clowns. [111:00] >> We're actually clowns. [111:01] >> When they cut to you after they set it [111:03] up, I was like, "Guys, [111:05] >> what's the BL? Is that a ICE agent? What [111:07] is that? Black uh No, that's a Tesla [111:10] robot. [111:11] >> What? [111:11] >> We dress like a Tesla robot. Yeah, [111:13] >> that's great. [111:14] >> Yeah, we we I bought those online. Shout [111:16] out Shout out to Amazon. We've been [111:18] elves. That was one to the left of that. [111:21] See Duncan dressed like an elf to the [111:22] left of that. [111:23] >> He's cute. [111:24] >> Oh yeah, that one we were um plague [111:26] masks. [111:27] >> Jesus, that's fun. [111:28] >> We've we've done everything. [111:30] >> Wait, let me see that plague. [111:31] >> Duncan wore a ghillie suit once. [111:33] >> How about the one where it's me with the [111:36] eyeballs lit? That was That was sick. [111:38] That's terrifying. [111:39] >> Yeah, that was a Halloween episode. [111:41] >> That's You would win Halloween. You [111:42] could go out in that anonymously. Not [111:44] now anymore, but [111:44] >> they're pretty sick. But we again, we [111:46] couldn't keep those on for very long, [111:48] >> dude. We went me and S went one year on [111:50] Halloween to the New York parade. Like [111:52] 15 of us dressed in the same Batman [111:54] outfit and then every time we saw a [111:56] Joker, we'd all surround him and start [111:58] like chest bumping him. [112:00] >> It was so sick. We just kept going to [112:02] people like, "Where is she?" [112:04] >> It was so much fun. So fun to be a dude. [112:07] >> Yeah. And and the working the belt [112:09] worked so we put liquor bottle like [112:11] airplane bottles in there. [112:12] >> Utility belt. [112:13] >> Yeah. Dphano was with us at some point. [112:14] We had to rip up the bottom so we could [112:15] piss through it on the street cuz [112:17] there's no way to get a one piece. [112:19] >> Yeah. [112:19] >> It was so great there cuz you have no [112:22] identity except for the beard. [112:24] >> Well, that's what the fries like. [112:26] >> They like hiding. [112:28] >> Yeah. [112:29] >> Hiding who they are. They don't like who [112:30] they are so they could just be free. [112:32] >> It's fine. [112:33] >> I get it. I get it. Wearing that mask [112:36] for a little bit though, I genuinely [112:37] both Duncan and I both gained respect [112:39] for the furries. [112:40] >> Yeah, but then they shoot the president. [112:43] >> Nah, I don't know if that guy a furry. [112:45] >> No, he loved a furry. [112:46] >> Oh, he loved a furry. So, [112:47] >> yeah, but I'm not even sure if that's [112:49] true. [112:50] >> The more the more time goes on, the more [112:51] I'm leaning towards Candace Owens. [112:53] >> What? [112:54] >> Whoa. [112:54] >> She's got some very interesting theories [112:56] about Look at that. [113:00] >> Yeah, D. Rosa was there. We were getting [113:02] hammered. Those belts. Look, you got the [113:04] Jerick. [113:06] >> That's great. That's funny. [113:08] >> That's great. [113:09] >> I don't think any story that you hear in [113:10] the news is accurate. [113:12] >> There's always none or spin on it at [113:14] least. [113:14] >> There's always some spin. So, whatever [113:16] the spin is, whatever the spin is about [113:19] Tyler Robinson, there's some [ __ ] to [113:21] it. I don't know how much of how much of [113:23] it is [ __ ] but there's some [113:24] [ __ ] And one of the more recent [113:26] bullshits is they found a photo that [113:28] they were saying was Tyler Robinson, but [113:29] then people noticed that the the because [113:31] he's real thin, people noticed that the [113:34] cars in the background, the proportions [113:35] were distorted. And then they realized [113:37] that what they had done was taken a guy [113:39] who's like much wider than Tyler [113:41] Robinson and shrunken the perspective. [113:44] Really? [113:45] >> Yep. Yep. And then when you see him for [113:47] what he really looks like, you're like, [113:48] "Oh, there's no way that's that guy. [113:49] That guy's big." [113:50] >> And then you're like, "Well, it's mostly [113:51] true." Like, no shifting. [113:53] >> No, no. They they changed like you look [113:55] at the hood of the cars behind him. [113:56] They're all like that now. [113:57] >> Who is that guy? [113:59] >> What guy? [113:59] >> Tyler Robinson. [114:00] >> He was the guy who supposedly shot [114:01] Charlie Kirk. [114:02] >> Kirk. Yeah. Not the president. [114:04] >> I was in Guatemala when I heard about [114:05] that. [114:06] >> William really? [114:06] >> Yeah. People barely smoke weed. Some [114:09] guys like what do you think about [114:10] Charlie Kirk? I'm like college videos [114:12] were cool to begin with. [114:13] >> Charlie Kirk. [114:14] >> Yeah. And they were like he's dead. I'm [114:16] like what [114:16] >> Kirk? No you guys. [114:18] >> The thing about that guy is [114:20] >> hurry show Charlie Kirk. [114:22] >> What? What did you just say? [114:26] >> And Erica Kirk sucks. She's a cook. [114:28] >> It's funny. [114:32] >> Yeah, she does. [114:34] >> Wasn't funny enough. I was like, "Yeah, [114:35] [ __ ] her." [114:38] >> You ever see Truski's uh America Kirk? [114:40] >> Yeah, I jerked off. I thought it was [114:42] >> threatening him. They were going to sue [114:43] him for that. [114:44] >> I don't know. It was funny. [114:46] >> Would have been the best thing that ever [114:47] happened to him when he came out. He [114:49] starts doing cartwheels and [ __ ] with [114:50] white face on. white face. [114:52] >> He's killing it. That guy every video [114:54] kills when he goes to NASCAR. [114:57] >> Unbelievable. [114:58] >> Funny dude. [114:59] >> Funny dude. People that got upset with [115:00] that. Shut up. [115:02] >> You don't think it's weird the lady [115:03] comes out the sparkers behind her? [115:04] You're out of your [ __ ] mind. That's [115:05] insane. [115:06] >> I know. [115:06] >> You don't think someone can make fun of [115:08] that? She walks out like [ __ ] Randy [115:09] Orton. [115:12] >> [ __ ] Goldberg coming out. [115:16] >> [ __ ] Undertaker. [115:16] >> The queen wore black for 80 years. [115:20] Crazy [115:20] >> in interview. She dresses like like Seal [115:22] Team Six. She's all blacked out with [115:24] like a black hat and everything. [115:25] >> She's serious, bro. [115:26] >> She's serious. [115:27] >> Navy Seal podcasters are [ __ ] cool. [115:30] >> She's serious. [115:32] >> There's a lot of controversy in the Navy [115:34] Seal community as to who actually killed [115:36] Bin Laden. I've been down a rabbit hole [115:38] this. [115:38] >> It's not O'Neal. Well, O'Neal says he [115:41] did it, but a lot of the guys that were [115:44] connected to people that were on that [115:45] mission say he was one of the people [115:47] that shot Bin Laden, but he probably [115:49] shot a guy who was already dead. [115:50] >> I don't know if that's true. [115:53] >> I got his poster in my room. [115:54] >> I'm sure they all put one in them. [115:57] >> Look, if you were on the team and I had [115:59] already shot him, you would run in and [116:01] shoot them, too. [ __ ] yeah, we all shot [116:02] them. And then I would say, "Yeah, we [116:04] got them. We all shot fought shot [116:05] together." I'd let you in on it. I'll [116:06] let you get a little credit. [116:07] >> You know what's cool? I watched the dock [116:09] about Bin Laden and they found out it [116:11] was him from his shadow. They measured [116:12] his shadow cuz they knew he was 6'5. [116:14] Wow. [116:15] >> So they measur measured the shadow. [116:16] That's they knew it was him. [116:18] >> Wow. I heard they knew where he was a [116:19] long time before they attacked. [116:21] >> Well, I heard they knew no from people [116:24] from the inside people. [116:26] >> It's not the news. [116:27] >> I knew they they kind of kn they knew [116:29] when to do it and they had a decision a [116:31] strategic decision as to when to take [116:32] them out. [116:33] >> I like it. Not full invasion. Just get [116:34] like six [ __ ] badass guys in there. [116:38] really naked without his sunglasses. [116:39] >> He was throwing his kids in front of the [116:40] the firepower, too. It's crazy. Ben [116:43] Laden throwing his wife and throwing [116:45] women in front of him. You [116:46] >> sure? Yeah. [ __ ] [116:48] >> Are you sure? [116:49] >> Yeah. [116:49] >> That's what I'd say if I shot a bunch of [116:50] women. [ __ ] guy threw those kids, [116:54] placed them there. [116:56] >> Just come right at us. [116:57] >> No, that was Baghdaddy did that. [116:59] >> Yeah, [116:59] >> he grabbed two kids [117:01] >> and ran into a tunnel and then blew [117:03] himself up. [117:04] >> Oh, really? [117:05] >> Oh my god. Oh my god. [117:08] >> Oh, they were they were D students. [117:10] >> War is so crazy. [117:12] >> Crazy. Good they were not in one of [117:14] those. [117:14] >> When is that going to end? [117:16] >> When are we going to stop doing that? [117:18] >> Take some profit out of it. Maybe. [117:19] >> Uh Trump Trump posted today about the [117:22] Straight of Hormuz is now owned by the [117:24] United States. [117:25] >> I'm not being anti-semitic. I'm not [117:26] being antiismatic. You said it. [117:28] >> Trump posted today that the United [117:30] States controls the straight of Hormuz. [117:32] >> Yeah. He tweets that every [ __ ] two [117:33] days. You got to be like, "Guys, what [117:35] he's tweeting is just distracting you. [117:37] >> There's a deal. We have a deal." [117:38] >> Yeah, but we all know this. [117:40] >> We're close to a deal. [117:41] >> Do it. [117:42] >> You imagine if you were a guy who had a [117:44] coin, you had Gilliscoin and every time [117:46] you tweeted [117:47] >> wild [ __ ] Gilliscoin just went up. [117:50] >> Oh, yeah. [117:50] >> You know what I mean? [117:51] >> Isn't he selling his uh Truth Social [117:54] tweets to people and then they can bet [117:56] on it? [117:57] >> What? [117:57] >> I think Yeah, he can bet on anything. [117:59] >> He's selling access. [118:02] He's selling faster access to his tweets [118:04] and then you can bet on it. [118:06] >> Bet on what is [118:07] >> the markets because [118:08] >> wait a minute [118:09] >> it's literally insider trading. [118:11] >> It's cashi that you can bet on [118:12] everything you can fix. [118:14] >> Is that real? You get access to a tweet [118:16] before he makes it and then you could [118:18] bet on that tweet. How is that legal? [118:20] >> We'll see. [118:20] >> Wait a minute. What is this? Trump sued [118:22] over truth social advance access sale. [118:26] >> I'm online in the Oval Office. [118:27] >> Who's telling him this is a good idea? I [118:30] feel like I need to be closer to $10,000 [118:32] contracts. [118:33] >> Yeah, it's hundred grand you can get his [118:35] early tweets. Hey, [118:36] >> you know how crazy that is? $100,000 to [118:39] get early tweets. [118:40] >> They bet 200 on it. [118:41] >> That's literally crazy. [118:42] >> I must pay you all so much when he [118:43] tweets like [118:44] >> Truth Social's parent company. [118:46] >> That's a [ __ ] [118:46] >> Trump Media announced in July it would [118:49] offer subscribers to Truth API who paid [118:52] up to $100,000 each month. [118:56] >> Oh my god. Not even just $100,000 a [118:58] year. each month [119:00] >> for early access to market moving posts [119:03] from Trump and other people who use the [119:06] platform. You imagine you charge 1.2 [119:08] million a year. He's just on a grab. [119:11] >> Oh yeah. [119:12] >> And to get that is just people who are [119:13] like profit off. [119:15] >> I just want to be in the meeting [119:16] >> where they go, I got an idea. [119:19] >> And everyone will see each other there's [119:20] like should we tell them no, [119:22] >> look, [119:23] [ __ ] it. I bet it wasn't even Trump. was [119:25] probably some weasel who works in the [119:27] administration is like uh charge them [119:30] 100 grand a month and you post things [119:31] and they can move the market. [119:33] >> Yikes. [119:34] >> Just another form of the same [ __ ] [119:36] >> Well, here's the thing. Is it legal? Cuz [119:38] it is available. [119:40] >> Someone else wants to sign up for it. [119:42] Make it legal. [119:42] >> It doesn't seem like it should be. [119:44] >> Obviously, he operates in legal [ __ ] [119:46] gray land. [119:47] >> But this is the thing about the Trump [119:49] coin. It's not illegal. Like coins are [119:52] not illegal. [119:52] >> So what's her name? Was like my [119:53] husband's investing on that. Hey, [119:54] >> it's gay. [119:55] >> This is all gay. [119:57] >> Yeah, [119:58] >> enough. Enough. [119:59] >> It's not good if you're already wealthy. [120:01] >> I've had enough. [120:02] >> I'm I'm a [ __ ] [120:03] >> If you're already wealthy and you try [120:05] making money. [120:06] >> I'm sick of it. [120:07] >> If you're already wealthy and you try [120:08] making money. Is that a Tony Hcliffe? [120:10] >> No, that's just me being gay. [120:12] >> But it does sound Does sound like [120:13] >> Unbelievable. [120:15] >> Unbelievable. [120:17] >> But if you I think anybody could start a [120:20] coin. I mean, we got hit up when we were [120:23] talking about the the [ __ ] Hawkua [120:25] coin. We got hit up by like a bunch of [120:28] different people and people tried to get [120:29] me to add to do ads for coins and I'm [120:31] like, "Hey, [120:33] >> I'm still looking for actual coins." [120:38] >> Fair. [120:39] >> So, here's a crazy one. Here's a crazy [120:41] one that went I can talk about it now [120:42] because it went away but there was a [120:44] point in time where I was doing [120:46] interviews with fighters after their [120:47] fights and they said I want to thank [120:50] Marshall Rogan coin [120:52] >> and the coin was my dog's face [120:56] and it was like it literally like almost [120:58] like my logo. It said Marshall Rogan [121:00] coin and it was Marshall my dog. And I I [121:04] would interview these guys and I was [121:05] like okay if I call attention to this [121:07] like what what should I do here? My job [121:10] when I'm interviewing fighters is just [121:11] to interview fighters. I just It's their [121:13] big moment. They [ __ ] worked their [121:15] ass off to get here. They want to fight. [121:18] I don't want to inject myself in any way [121:20] if it's not necessary. [121:21] >> Be like, "What the [ __ ] that?" [121:22] >> Also, you're like, "What?" [121:23] >> Yeah. Because like, but a bunch of guys [121:25] were like, I want to thank Marshall [121:27] Rogancoin. The UFC got hip to it and [121:29] they put a kibash on it. But I don't [121:31] know what these guys were doing, but I [121:32] assume what they were doing was a pump [121:34] and dump and they were paying the [121:35] fighters. So, they I don't know if it [121:37] was a pump and dump. Maybe it was [121:38] legitimate. But the point is the [121:39] fighters were legit legitimately getting [121:41] paid because every time they would win [121:43] they would talk about Marshall Rogan [121:45] coin and then assumingly some people [121:48] that were interested in crypto would buy [121:50] it. [121:50] >> That's no bueno. [121:51] >> Had nothing to do with me. And here I am [121:53] interviewing these guys going this is a [121:55] weird position to be in. Like I don't [121:56] want to say anything. But eventually the [121:58] USC is do you have anything to do with [121:59] that? I no [122:00] >> cuz you're standing there so it seems [122:01] like you're part of it [122:02] >> 100%. But also, I don't want to [ __ ] up [122:06] this guy's moment and say, "Hey, I got [122:08] nothing to do with Marshall Rogancoin." [122:10] >> I don't give a [ __ ] This guy just won a [122:12] fight. There's a scam going on. Let [122:14] everybody else figure it out. But it was [122:16] the weirdest thing in the world. Like my [122:17] dog. [122:20] >> As a coin, you know? [122:21] >> Yeah. [122:22] >> And I'm sure a lot of people probably [122:23] thought I was involved. I had no idea it [122:25] even happened until someone said [122:27] Marshall Rogan coin while I was [122:29] interviewing him. I'm like, [122:30] >> what? I mean, I wonder what the [ __ ] [122:32] that was back. [122:33] >> I found out in the octagon while I'm [122:35] holding a microphone in front of a [122:37] fighter's hand face after he won like [122:39] Marshall Rogan coin and I was like, [122:41] "What the [ __ ] are you just saying? My [122:43] dog." [122:45] >> Oh boy. [122:46] >> My dogs got [ __ ] glasses on [122:51] your ass. [122:51] >> Everybody's asleep. He's on the laptop. [122:56] Yeah, he's on the phone with cotter [123:01] >> [ __ ] trying to get some [ __ ] [ __ ] [123:03] my dad sends, [123:04] >> right? [123:05] >> [ __ ] Instagram real of a raccoon [123:07] driving a car and I'll be like, "Go to [123:08] bed, dude. It's [ __ ] [123:10] >> 12:30." That's adorable, [123:12] >> bro. Raccoons might be the cutest [123:14] [ __ ] animal of all time. [123:15] >> Raccoon coin. That was a big coin. [123:17] >> Was it raccoon? [123:17] >> I'm done with these coins. [123:19] >> Talk about them. I want to talk about my [123:21] dad using Instagram reels. He's moved [123:23] on. The second the Phillies game ends, [123:26] he's on the Instagram, lights off in the [123:28] house on a recliner by himself looking [123:30] at [123:31] >> Well, they're endless. [123:32] >> My mom was on vacation for like two [123:33] weeks. My dad got [ __ ] wrecked for [123:36] two weeks. [123:38] >> The second she leaves the house, he [123:40] died. [123:42] He's calling me. He's like, "I just want [123:43] you to know you're a good guy." [123:46] >> Okay, I love you, Dad. Will be like, [123:47] "Yeah, right." [123:49] >> Oh, that's so funny. Great. [123:51] >> Yeah. He sits in the dark and looks at [123:52] real. I'm like, "What are you doing [123:53] right now?" He's like, "I'm going to [123:54] bed." [123:55] >> Bro, if you're an old dude and you've [123:57] never experienced, you went from no [123:59] internet at all, zero internet ever, [124:02] dump right into [124:05] right to heroin AI years. [124:07] >> Loop me in with him and I'll I'll send [124:09] him all the [ __ ] that Tom Seagura sends [124:11] me. [124:11] >> No, no, don't send him. [124:12] >> Oh, that's just dark. [124:13] >> That's Don't do that to Phil. [124:16] >> I sent [124:16] >> We need to send nice stuff. [124:17] >> I sent Seigora some [ __ ] rough ones [124:19] today. Woo! I got them today. Yeah. [124:22] Every now and then he gets me, but I got [124:23] him today. I got him with two brutal [124:25] murders. [124:26] >> A You got divorced? [124:27] >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Got to send him divorced [124:30] dude murder pictures cuz he's thinking [124:32] about that money he's going to lose. [124:33] >> By the way, AOC's single, Tom, you [124:35] better get on there. [124:35] >> I heard about that. [124:36] >> That' be a fun couple. She likes the [124:38] honk. [124:38] >> She's She's uh she's single and freezing [124:41] her eggs. [124:42] >> Oh, really? [124:43] >> He's already got two kids. [124:44] >> Yeah, she made a video of her freezing [124:45] her eggs. [124:47] >> Hot getting in there with a needle and [124:49] plug. [124:50] >> Whoa. She made a video of it. [124:51] >> I don't understand how any of that works [124:52] either. I don't get it. [124:54] >> Yeah. [124:54] >> I don't get it. [124:55] >> See what the uh South Korean football [124:59] team did. [124:59] >> They have a football team. [125:01] >> Soccer. [125:02] >> You're such a [ __ ] [125:03] >> You [ __ ] [ __ ] [125:05] >> You really do suck for that. [125:06] >> They got all They got They got football [125:09] to us. Do it again. Do it. [125:10] >> You son of a South Korean here from [125:14] See what I did there? I learned I [125:16] learned and I moved 89 years. [125:20] You're 89 years old. [125:21] >> By the way, soccer is a British term. [125:22] Um, they got they got all the refs [125:26] >> laid. [125:27] >> All the refs there. Yeah. Sexual [125:29] services. [125:31] >> Oh, good for them. [125:32] >> They get them all laid. So, they'll like [125:33] root. They'll root for the South Korean [125:35] team. [125:35] >> That's brilliant. [125:36] >> Yeah. [125:36] >> It's not cheating. [125:39] >> Alleged spent thousands of dollars on [125:41] sexual services for foreign referees. [125:43] That's it. [125:43] >> That's a steal. [125:44] >> Thousands of dollars is a [ __ ] [125:46] bargain. Think about how much how much [125:47] DraftKings money is in these games. [125:50] >> South Korea seems like the [ __ ] It [125:51] seems so fun over there. Obviously, the [125:53] above is terrifying. [125:54] >> They made Taekwond do, Samsung phones, [125:57] >> Squid Game, Parasite. [125:58] >> Oh, Squid Game's awesome. [126:00] >> Parasite was great. [126:01] >> They're having fun. [126:02] >> K-pop. Yeah. Yeah. However, they're not [126:04] going to reproduce. [126:06] >> That's true. [126:06] >> They're in a real real situation. [126:08] >> They're in a pickle there. [126:09] >> They're in one of the worst situations [126:10] in termsally in terms of [126:12] >> Right. [126:12] >> reproducing [126:14] [ __ ] Well, because they're just busy, [126:16] right? They're like an insane insane. [126:18] Like, I grew up around Koreans. [126:20] >> Yeah. [126:21] >> No, the Korean women are not into the [126:23] dudes. [126:23] >> Well, it's not even just that. Like, the [126:25] work ethic over there is [ __ ] insane. [126:28] >> Really? [126:28] >> Yeah. I grew up with Koreans cuz I was [126:30] doing Taekwondo when I was a kid. So, I [126:32] was around Koreans all the time. Like, [126:34] you've never seen work ethic like Korean [126:36] people. [126:36] >> They're the only ones that outdo us. [126:39] >> It's the reason why I feel lazy to this [126:40] day. I I I was training with this kid [126:43] who was going to medical school. He was [126:45] going through his residency while he was [126:47] on the national taekwond do team. So he [126:49] won the US nationals. He was competing [126:51] internationally while he was going [126:52] through his medical residency. [126:54] >> Damn. [126:54] >> Jesus. [126:56] He would just The dude slept like an [126:59] hour a night. It was crazy. He would [127:01] some of his training he would put his [127:03] books all the books that he need to [127:04] read, he put them in a backpack and just [127:06] run the stairs at the university and [127:08] then go back to the library. [127:10] >> Damn. Yeah, [127:10] >> he was I've never He always looked [127:12] tired. He was like He always looked like [127:14] this. He always looked exhausted. [127:17] [ __ ] ferocious. Guy couldn't even [127:19] open his [ __ ] eyes. He was so tired. [127:22] >> But they work so hard, man. And their [127:24] parents force them. Like they they don't [127:26] have any way out. There's no like, man, [127:28] take a year off and find yourself. [ __ ] [127:30] that. There's none of that. [127:32] >> That tiger mom [ __ ] That's real, you [127:35] know? [127:35] >> And and they do the eye surgery over [127:37] there. [127:38] >> It's a little appropriate. They want to [127:40] go round eye. [127:40] >> They do a lot of that. [127:41] >> Who was that uh music guy? Was he from [127:43] South Korea when he jumped out of the [127:45] stage? [127:45] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's his name? [127:46] >> Oh, that shit's amazing. [127:49] >> Talk about him. Pumping you up. Style. [127:52] >> Gum style. Gum style. That guy's [127:55] fun. I love that. That guyiled it. [127:58] >> John Lynch raccoons. [127:59] >> A comedian could never do that when he's [128:01] in that enormous crowd and he comes [128:04] flying out of the floor. That rules, [128:07] dude. We don't have to play the music, [128:08] but we got to see that that stage jump. [128:10] Dude, it's so funny. We used to go to [128:11] UFC in Vegas and you check into MGM, [128:14] you're like, "Why are there a thousand [128:15] Koreans here?" And there'd be some K-pop [128:18] band that you've never heard of, [128:19] >> right? [128:20] >> Filling up the filling up. They kill it. [128:23] >> So, you're saying they're too busy? [128:26] >> Here he comes. [128:26] >> Look at this guy. He was [ __ ] [128:28] >> Oh, yeah. [128:28] >> Oh, yeah. 100%. You [ __ ] everybody. [128:30] >> Dressed like a bandsitter. [128:32] >> Whoa. [128:33] >> Look at them go crazy. [128:34] >> Come on. [128:35] >> Look at them go crazy. Wow. I mean, this [128:38] is worse. This is better than turn [128:40] style. [ __ ] This is like a Serbian [128:42] basketball game. [128:43] >> This is wild. [128:45] >> I mean, they're pretty good. [128:47] >> Rules. [128:47] >> Look at the [ __ ] air this guy [128:49] catches. Look at the air he catches. [128:51] Look at that marching band. [128:53] >> He's dressed like a Dallas cheerleader. [128:56] >> He is from the 80s. He's got the fringe [128:58] like outlaw Josie Whales turn. You want [129:01] to get a turn? [129:02] >> I want to go a turn on the way here. [129:05] >> Generator though. I'm a I'm more of an [129:07] old old turn style guy. [129:09] >> Relax. [129:10] >> What? Jamie, [129:11] >> they're over here trying to talk trying [129:12] to be cool. [129:12] >> Turn [129:14] him trying to be cool. I caught him [129:15] trying to be cool. [129:16] >> I You caught me being cool. [129:17] >> No, you said football when you really [129:20] meant soccer. That's gay as [ __ ] [129:22] >> That was gay. [129:24] >> It's a new newer band. That's uh [129:26] >> It's not new. [129:27] >> Well, what is Turn [129:29] on a [ __ ] show? [129:30] >> It's new. [129:30] >> Explain to me, please. Jimmy rules [129:33] outside young [129:35] >> hardcore band kind of you know. [129:36] >> Oh nice. [129:37] >> Is it core [129:38] >> boys? [129:39] >> Did you find any core? [129:41] >> I stumbled on [ __ ] metal. [129:42] >> No play don't play video live show. [129:46] >> Well I thought this had live. [129:47] >> What? What am I looking at? [129:48] >> What do you think now? [129:49] >> I don't understand what I'm saying. [129:52] >> Kids are in bands again video. [129:54] >> Guys, this is [129:55] >> Let me hear this. [129:57] >> Oh, this is great. This is 12 years old. [129:59] >> World is healing. Oh, it's a year old. [130:01] >> I thought this was like yesterday. [130:03] >> Like [130:05] >> kids are doing rock is back. [130:06] >> They're from uh they're from Baltimore. [130:08] >> Nice. [130:09] >> Baltimore. [130:10] >> They say [130:11] >> I think weird. [130:12] >> The weird thing is how rap has fallen [130:14] off the charts. [130:15] >> It's cuz Drizzy Drake was gone. [130:16] >> No, it's cuz US A got defunded. [130:19] >> Maybe [130:20] >> that's what a lot of people think. [130:21] >> No, but Drake was gone. [130:22] >> USA got defunded that drop rap. [130:23] >> We're back. US AD, the Agency for [130:27] International Development, is well known [130:29] to have been funding about a bunch of [130:31] radical anti-government rappers [130:34] overseas. [130:35] >> Funding a ton of them, like a ton of It [130:38] was basically all about regime change. [130:40] That was a big part of what US was [130:42] about. And the thought is that US aid [130:45] had some look, Mike Benz, his here's a [130:48] famous quote that US A was there for [130:50] things that were too dirty for the CIA. [130:53] What are you doing? No, [130:55] >> Joe. The reason rap was gone. [130:58] >> Cuz Drake was gone. [130:59] >> Where would he go? [131:00] >> Poppy's home. [131:01] >> No. USA didn't fund rap music despite [131:04] what this viral right-wing theory claims [131:07] about. [131:08] >> There you go. Yeah, but this is Yahoo [131:10] News and that's owned by Ari's family. [131:12] >> Joe, can I say one more thing? [131:14] >> Yeah. [131:15] >> You did a lot of good stuff. [131:16] >> You've gotten so big that all of your [131:19] opinions will be debunked. [131:21] >> Yeah. Yes, [131:22] >> your opinions when you say something [131:24] when you go this is what happened [131:26] literally the first article will come up [131:28] and instead of naming you it'll be like [131:30] >> that's wrong [131:30] >> despite these crazy claims it's [131:32] literally your claims [131:34] >> if you Google something it's directly [131:36] against you [131:37] >> but this one is not mine I read this [131:39] online and I read this from people like [131:41] one of them was Mike Benz and Mike Benz [131:43] is very credible and was talking about [131:45] it so it's not it's not not my idea [131:48] >> at Disney a CIA disinformation agent [131:51] >> is that what you think. [131:52] >> Oh, obviously you got [131:54] >> I call him on FaceTime right now. We'll [131:55] find out. [131:56] >> Ask him. Ask him if he's a district. [131:59] >> Hey, we're in the middle of Protect Our [132:01] Parks. [132:01] >> Yeah. Can you uh I bleed the fifth. Give [132:04] me that puppy. [132:05] >> A lot of what he's saying is not pro-CIA [132:08] at all. [132:09] >> That's cuz that's what they want, [132:10] brother. There's no way the CIA would [132:12] let a CIA agent [ __ ] talk [ __ ] [132:15] >> Bro, you're freaking me out, man. [132:18] >> They want to give us bad info. They love [132:20] disinformation. CIA, [132:22] >> they invented science. God damn it. [132:24] >> Slippery group. They did the acid thing. [132:26] >> Oh yeah, they did. That must have been [132:28] fun. Imagine watching people try to get [132:30] laid when they're on acid. [132:32] >> Cuban hip hop. [132:33] >> Whoa. [132:35] Failed attempt to infiltrate Cuban hip [132:37] hop. Yeah, but they they try. [132:38] >> That makes sense though. They're getting [132:40] failed anti-government [ __ ] [132:41] >> It says failed. It makes perfect sense. [132:43] They're getting other countries like [132:46] cultural revolutions. They always try to [132:49] make other other governments unstable. [132:51] What a better way than good music. Yeah. [132:54] Smart people like and that's that's what [132:55] they did. But no, the reason hip hop's [132:58] down right now in the United States is [132:59] sweet Drizzy Drake was gone. Now Poppy's [133:02] home. Check the charts again. Iceman's [133:04] back. Iceman's back, Daddy. [133:07] I mean, after all that, [133:09] >> I'm a '9s hip-hop head. [133:12] I There's so much great 90s hip-hop that [133:15] it's hard for me to escape that era. And [133:17] it got too too autotuny. [133:19] >> Well, I don't mind some of the new [133:21] stuff, but it's like I like old school [133:24] Nas. That's what I'm into. [133:27] >> Cool rap. [133:28] >> Uhoh. [133:28] >> Are you okay? [133:29] >> Or is that a heart attack? [133:30] >> Ever since he moved to UK, became a [133:32] [ __ ] He wants warm beer. [133:34] >> They drink warm beer over there. [133:35] >> Nice warm beer on a hot day. Oh, it goes [133:38] down terrible. [133:38] >> How about some peas for breakfast? [133:40] >> Do they really have warm beer over [133:42] there? Is that real? [133:42] >> To be the Taylor's, bro. You get a [133:44] [ __ ] Luke. Oh yeah. Where they pump [133:47] it like this? It's like barely. [133:49] >> Can you order it cool cold if you want? [133:51] >> No. Where they put on ice? You can ask [133:52] for ice. [133:52] >> No, but the beer is cold there. [133:54] >> Guinness is cold. Timothy Taylor regular [133:56] beer there. [133:56] >> What is Timothy Taylor's? [133:57] >> It's like a local England doesn't have [133:59] good local beers. They're not cold. [134:01] >> They're an apartment now. All their [ __ ] [134:04] is like except for Newcastle arrested at [134:06] the airport. [134:06] >> All their shit's from Ireland, from [134:08] other places. They have the [ __ ] [134:10] Spanish beer. [134:11] >> Ireland kills their [134:12] >> beer. They don't have locals unless it's [134:14] like at your pub. [134:15] >> Call me crazy, but everybody goes the [134:17] Guinness over there. It's so different. [134:19] >> I didn't notice it. It felt very [134:20] similar. [134:21] >> How could it be different? [134:22] >> That's what they say. It's different [134:24] here. We got better pipes and barrels. [134:27] >> So Drake's back on the truck, but so is [134:28] Thriller. [134:30] >> Thriller is the movie. I know, but it [134:33] didn't just come out. [134:33] >> The movie, not the dock. [134:34] >> Damn. Stick season is still in the top [134:36] 10. That's crazy. [134:38] >> Wallgan never leaves there. [134:40] >> Yeah. Morgan Wallen balling out of [134:42] control. [134:43] >> He's got two in the top 10. [134:44] >> Ariana Grando. She's a real skinny lady. [134:48] >> Morgan Wallen's legit. I love his music. [134:50] >> Yep. Country. [134:52] >> Let me see what else is in the top 10. [134:54] >> What is in the top 10 of What is it? [134:56] >> The top 200. [134:58] >> Billboard. Is it albums or songs? Songs. [135:01] So, what is three? [135:03] >> Which Drake song was it? J [135:04] >> Olivia Rodrigo. She's huge. Ella [135:06] Langley. She's [ __ ] gigantic. Noah. [135:10] Noah Khan. Like that stick season's been [135:12] around for years, man. That's been on my [135:14] Spotify playlist for a long [ __ ] [135:16] time. [135:17] >> His albums. You like Noah? [135:18] >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [135:19] >> I went to see him with the lady at uh [135:21] >> Stick Season's a great [ __ ] song. [135:23] >> How was it? [135:24] >> I did shrooms to get through it. [135:27] >> But uh well, it's not my cup of jizz, [135:29] but uh it was her birthday. I took her [135:31] there. [135:31] >> You got to be in the mood for it. I like [135:33] to mix it up, but I was one going to a [135:35] lady concert. Khan, [135:36] >> like a concert the girl wants to take [135:38] you to and then you're like, you just [135:40] want to [ __ ] this guy. [135:41] >> And then midway through you go, I want [135:43] to [ __ ] this guy. [135:45] >> He's a good ass. I had a girl take me to [135:47] a [ __ ] uh [135:48] >> [ __ ] what's his name? [135:50] >> Brett Benson Boon. That kind of guy. [135:52] >> Yeah. [135:54] [ __ ] Awesome. Then you go, "Holy [ __ ] [135:56] this show rocks." [135:58] >> Cute twink that guy. [135:59] >> You know who I got coming on soon? [136:01] >> Rick Springfield. [136:02] >> Nice. Have you seen Bricks Greenfield [136:04] perform recently? Okay. [136:08] 74 maybe 75 maybe. [136:12] >> Looks [ __ ] insane. [136:15] >> Shirtless singing Jesse's girl. Find the [136:17] video. [136:18] >> That's a hunk. [136:19] >> Find the video. [136:20] >> Probably still what? Find the video. [136:22] [ __ ] all this. Go right to the video. [136:25] >> So the video of him there's a video that [136:27] somebody captured on of him on stage. [136:29] Number's like, "What the [ __ ] Is this [136:30] real? Is this AI? He's in his 70s. He's [136:34] shirtless. He's [ __ ] ripped. And he's [136:37] singing like he just wrote the song last [136:40] week. [136:41] >> Like full enthusiasm. He's not Barry [136:44] Manalo in it with a rubber face. Like [136:46] he's he's, you know, he's really going [136:47] all in. Look at this. Give me some [136:48] volume. [136:49] >> No way. [136:49] >> Wow. [136:50] >> Listen. [136:53] >> Give me some headphones, Shane. How old [136:55] are you? [136:55] >> That guy's 70. He's got a rubber. [136:57] >> 36. [136:58] >> No. [137:01] leather pants. [137:04] >> Wait, how old is this guy, [137:05] >> bro? He's 75 years old. How old is he? [137:08] >> 100% chance. [137:09] >> Listen, 76. [137:14] >> 74. [137:15] >> He's in his [ __ ] 70s. [137:17] >> What? [137:18] >> No [ __ ] way. [137:21] >> Damn. And look at the energy he has. No, [137:24] dude. This is really recent. [137:31] Dude, [137:32] >> no way. [137:33] >> Yes. It's crazy. [137:34] >> Look, the guy kept up. He kept up. You [137:37] can do it. [137:38] >> What's he doing? He's doing He goes He [137:40] goes to Listen to me, boys. [137:44] >> I turned 59 years old. [137:46] >> Oh, yeah. Happy birthday. Happy [137:47] birthday. Happy birthday, buddy. I'm old [137:50] as [ __ ] [137:51] >> That guy's young. [137:52] >> Yeah, you can still do it. This is a [137:54] different world we're living in. Get one [137:55] of those Bud Lights for [137:56] >> if you stay on top of your health, you [137:57] could do wild [ __ ] deep into the time [138:00] falling apart. [138:01] >> Well, that biohack guy, whatever that [138:03] guy is, John will [138:04] >> he's falling apart. [138:05] >> He's falling apart. [138:06] >> Brian Johnson, they're doing [ __ ] [138:08] weird drugs and [ __ ] [138:08] >> Oh, yeah. [138:09] >> Well, he's also vegan. [138:10] >> He's doing like blood transfusions. [138:13] Stop. Stop with your [ __ ] legumes. [138:15] Stop. [138:16] >> Stop. Stop with your beans with protein. [138:18] >> Come eat with me. Come eat with me. [138:21] >> Let's eat meat. [138:22] >> That was 785. Jeez, that doesn't mean [138:24] it's better now. [138:26] >> Wow, [138:26] >> bro. Is it more better? [138:28] >> There's got to be There's got to be [138:29] other camera angles. That camera angle [138:30] must be nuts. [138:31] >> No, it's legit. [138:32] >> That doesn't even [138:34] pull up his dating history. I got to [138:35] know what old Give me some music so I [138:38] can do it to something other than [138:40] America. [ __ ] yeah. Let's go. [138:42] >> What's this? [138:42] >> We can't afford this. [138:43] >> Jamie, give me some ice, man. [138:47] >> Give him some ice, man. [138:48] >> How long ago was this? [138:49] >> I don't know, dude. A month. [138:51] >> It says four weeks. four weeks, [138:55] >> bro. The dude's in his 70s. [138:58] >> But it's the enthusiasm. [139:00] It's the enthusiasm. He's not halfass in [139:03] this at all. [139:03] >> Compared to the wheelchairs in the [139:05] crowd, [139:06] >> boys. [139:07] >> I love you guys. I love you guys to [139:09] death. [139:10] >> I'm so happy we're here. Let's [139:13] >> look at that voodoo ranger. [139:15] >> Where's the ice? [139:16] >> I had too much going on. [139:17] >> Where's the ice? [139:20] Guys, I will tell you I've been [139:21] incredibly lonely in London. This is I [139:23] needed this. You need to [139:25] [ __ ] move here. [139:27] You were in the jungle for a year, you [139:29] psycho. [139:29] >> Free rent for a year. Come on. [139:31] >> Too early, dude. [139:33] >> I'll show you the place while we're [139:34] here. While we're in town. [139:36] >> What are you doing tomorrow? I'll show [139:37] you the place. [139:38] >> Let's see the place. [139:39] >> Come on, man. Free rent for a year. [139:41] >> Free rent? You land? [139:42] >> Got a gym. A nice place. Got a spa. [139:45] >> Oh, that's a drink video. [139:47] >> Oh, the video. Yeah, they say I don't [139:50] remember going. [139:51] >> Are you in an official Drake video? [139:52] >> Yeah. [139:53] >> No way. [139:54] >> Oh, I thought that was Derek. [139:55] >> That's so sick. [139:57] >> I am. I am. [139:59] >> That's cute. That's so sick. When did [140:01] you do this? [140:02] >> Uh, two months ago. [140:04] >> Couple Yeah, I forget. [140:06] >> Sorry. Spilled the beans on that one, [140:07] Fetty. [140:08] >> Oh, that's okay. [140:09] >> That was bad. I felt horrible. We went [140:11] in and edited. It was bad. [140:13] >> No, I appreciate that. What? [140:15] >> Come on. Zero chance. I just did all [140:18] this work. Come on, [ __ ] I will [140:19] [ __ ] kidnap you, [ __ ] I'll get your [140:22] girls. [140:22] >> I wasn't going to get I was going to [140:24] come here when I lived in America. [140:25] >> Your girl is making you stay. [140:27] >> Nobody's thinking, [140:28] >> dude. I just got my visa. 5year visa. I [140:32] just got my visa. [140:33] >> So funny. [140:34] >> Oh, well, you have to stay for 5 years [140:36] in a place that sucks. You're not in [140:37] jail, [ __ ] [140:40] >> Just having a visa doesn't mean you're [140:41] in jail. [140:42] >> I'll get an apartment. I'll be fine. [140:43] >> Just come back. [140:45] >> There's no chance. What do you mean [140:46] there's no chance? What do you mean I [140:48] just started? [140:49] >> What? You've been up there once. [140:50] >> What could happen that would entice you? [140:53] What What would be the scenario where [140:54] you'd go I have to move to Austin? [140:57] >> Let's come up with [141:00] one [ __ ] year. [141:01] >> I would come back if [141:03] >> Here we go. [141:04] >> I get a [141:06] >> a free apartment somewhere. [141:07] >> Oh, keep it. [141:09] >> No, I'm joking. I'm not I'm staying [141:11] there, dude. I'm having a good time. [141:13] >> There has to be something. [141:14] >> What are you doing? The food sucks. The [141:16] weather's food's amazing. [141:17] >> Food's actually great. [141:18] >> The food's great. [141:18] >> The weather's great. [141:21] >> Well, since I've been there's [141:24] been awesome. [141:24] >> Some of the best Indian food I've ever [141:26] had in my life. I haven't even [141:29] phenomenal. [141:30] >> All right. All right. [141:31] >> Sunday has some phenomenal. [141:33] >> They're rolling up early over there. I [141:34] did a show out there for like a month [141:35] and you can't get food after like 9. [141:37] >> Ends early. They do end early cuz they [141:38] all day drink. [141:39] >> All right. They all start at 6. [141:42] >> I day drink. I like I like late night [141:44] food. I love your enthusiasm. [141:47] >> I've come back a lot. Honestly, this is [141:49] the only thing getting me back. [141:50] >> Come on, let's do it once a month. [141:52] >> What would be the scenario? You look [141:53] terrible. So, you look bad. [141:55] >> You look terrible. [141:57] >> I've had a rough sad before. You look [142:00] like a homeless guy. [142:00] >> I bet your wife hates it. [142:01] >> I've had a rough wife hates it. You look [142:03] She hates it, right? She hates it. [142:05] >> Come on, America. Come back here. [142:07] >> Your wife needs a cowboy hat. Ari, you [142:09] look good, by the way. [142:10] >> I bet she likes it more than on the [142:11] loggers. [142:12] >> I saw you. I was like, you look good. [142:14] >> I know. Oh, I need to lose at least a [142:15] stone. [142:16] >> Why? [142:20] >> You son of a [ __ ] [142:23] >> You son of a [ __ ] [142:24] >> Oh, he's got to go to the L. [142:27] >> There's no reason, [142:28] >> bro. The [ __ ] run. The World Cup run [142:30] was so fun. They made an executive order [142:32] to keep pubs open late so we could [142:34] party. [142:35] >> How about this? We do that every night. [142:36] >> We left at 5:00 a.m. game. [142:39] >> I got a compromise. The Mexico game [142:41] ruled. I got a compromise. [142:42] >> So fun. Yeah. How about I fly you out [142:45] every two months? [142:47] >> Every two months. Come do the club, hang [142:49] out, have a good time. Free. [142:51] >> You just come. [142:52] >> That's possible. [142:52] >> Come on, Jewace. [142:53] >> What do you mean? [142:54] >> And if you want, we have a condo. [142:56] >> He's doing something incredibly nice. [142:57] Say yes. [142:57] >> We also have a condo at the the club [142:59] condo no one's using during the week. We [143:02] own a condo. It's pretty dope. We have a [143:04] sick condo. So, you could use that [143:06] during the week [143:07] >> and your girl will be happy. [143:08] >> I got a set I got. [143:09] >> She's sleeping in a barn right now. [143:11] Every couple months you have a free [143:13] vacation to Austin. [143:15] >> Oh, [143:15] >> this is an intervention, dude. [143:18] >> Right. [143:20] >> You just can hang out and you can wait [143:21] till January. Wait till January. Let me [143:23] set my [143:24] >> I am trying to stamp my American flag on [143:28] England's soil. [143:29] >> They don't want it. They're pushing you [143:30] out. [143:30] >> I know. Look, Hicks already did it. Liry [143:33] already did it. Let it go. Patrice. [143:35] >> Patrice. [143:36] >> Yeah, Patrice did it. I forgot Patrice [143:38] did it. [143:38] >> How'd they turn out? [143:39] >> Great. Yeah. [143:41] >> Patrice died of a Snickers. [143:42] >> That's what I'm saying. [143:44] >> Yeah. [143:44] >> Wait, what' you say? [143:45] >> Patrice died of a Snickers. [143:46] >> Oh. Oh, I heard something else. [143:50] >> You don't need it. [143:52] >> Um, no. It's It's going to be [143:53] >> You need to be around comics. [143:55] >> Yeah, it's going to be awesome. [143:56] >> Good for you. [143:57] >> I actually genuinely do support it. [143:58] >> Yeah, [143:59] >> I really I don't like you enough to be [144:01] like, I hope he comes back. [144:02] >> It's fun. I get pushed back. I get [144:03] pushed back from crowds. It's actually [144:05] like really good for me. [144:07] >> Good. What are you doing? Come back [144:08] every couple months. And this way you [144:10] get to see good and suck. Good and suck. [144:13] And you keep living in the suck. And [144:14] eventually, what am I doing? I'm 58 [144:17] years old. Why you go back and move to [144:19] the nice place? [144:20] >> Shane moved here. He goes, I think I [144:21] moved to Austin. I was like, dude, it's [144:23] April. You got to wait till July. And he [144:25] didn't wait. If you if you have this [144:27] conversation December, you might get me. [144:29] >> Listen, [ __ ] Just get in the sauna [144:31] every day. It doesn't mean [ __ ] I I was [144:33] outside in the in the shooting arrows [144:35] for two hours today. I don't I don't [144:37] feel a thing. [144:39] I don't give a [ __ ] It's 100°. Who [144:41] cares? Drink water. It doesn't mean [144:43] anything. [144:44] >> It's It's pretty hot everywhere here. [144:46] >> Just get in the sun. [144:47] >> I'm in New York now, too. It's hot as [144:50] [ __ ] [144:50] >> This is humid. [144:52] >> He's multi city. Do you understand this? [144:54] >> You got to wait for [144:55] >> You can be multi city. [144:56] >> It hasn't rained once in two months. [144:57] >> You can be multi city. You can be multi [144:59] city for free. [145:00] >> Let's have more of these. [145:01] >> I'm giving you an opportunity to be [145:03] multi city for free. Dude, I got to get [145:05] set there. I want to say something to [145:07] these people. [145:09] >> I want to say something. It's really [145:11] important. [145:12] >> I'm going to tell you how to live your [145:13] life. Shut the [ __ ] up. I got a [145:15] vasectomy and a dog. Shut the [ __ ] up. [145:18] Shut the [ __ ] up. [145:19] >> [ __ ] has something to say. [145:20] >> How the [ __ ] do you have something to [145:21] say? I don't have anything to say. I'm [145:22] the number one podcast in the world. I [145:24] don't have a a thing to say to people. [145:26] >> You said it. [145:27] >> I don't have [ __ ] to say to people. It [145:28] just It happens. [145:31] It happens. But I don't ever say I have [145:33] something to say. What do you want to [145:35] tell the people of England? America's [145:37] way better than you. [145:38] >> Oh, well then I support them. No, come [145:40] back. They already know. [145:42] >> Put in their face. [145:42] >> You want to be fear. [145:44] >> You bombed Gaza. [145:46] >> Free Palestine. You need to go on stage [145:48] every night with funny when I go there [145:50] cuz there's a lot of free Palestine [145:51] there and I'm like, but you guys, you [145:54] controlled it before Israel. You could [145:56] have done [145:57] this constant kiss [146:01] and listen and let that go. [146:03] >> Stop. [146:04] >> Stop covering up for your country's [146:05] action. [146:06] >> So funny. You feared better in the [146:07] jungle. [146:07] >> Box on your head, [ __ ] [146:10] >> He killed in the jungle. He was great in [146:12] South America. [146:12] >> I was having a great time in the worst [146:14] hospital. [146:18] Biggest empire. [146:19] >> Legitimately, I take 13our buses. I'm [146:21] rolling with it. Fine. And then I got to [146:22] England like just making it hard for [146:24] [ __ ] immigrants. [146:25] >> Well, it's hilarious. You tell me they [146:26] kicked out of Nicaragua. [146:28] >> They kicked me out of Nicaragua. [146:29] >> They kicked him out of Nicaragua cuz [146:30] they thought he was a [ __ ] press guy. [146:32] >> Because of you. Because of my [146:33] relationship to you. [146:34] >> Nicaragua, please. [146:35] >> They looked me up. They're like, "What's [146:37] this Hogan? Now we're [146:43] >> calling and looking googling me." I'm [146:45] like, "Don't put in Joe and Ari. I'm [146:48] fucked." And as soon as he was like, [146:49] "What's this experience saying?" I'm [146:50] like, "All right, I'll leave." [146:52] >> Patrice O'Neal's in Nicaragua. [146:55] >> You son of a [ __ ] That was a hard G. [146:57] >> That was a hard cut. [146:59] >> That was a hard G. [147:01] >> That's a great country. [147:04] >> He's a great comic. [147:05] >> Hey Ari, can you hand me one of those [147:06] every two months free? [147:08] >> I'm in. [147:09] >> Let's go. [147:10] >> We got to start. We got to start in the [147:12] winter, but I'm [147:13] >> Your ladies going to love it. [147:14] >> Thursday night show. Ari and friends. [147:17] >> We have air conditioning that'll pay for [147:19] all your expenses. All right. What about [147:20] this? [147:21] >> What about September 4th? [147:22] >> Yeah. [147:23] >> Kanye in Chicago. [147:25] >> Wait, that's like two weeks from now. [147:26] >> A [ __ ] You're such a [ __ ] [147:28] >> What? That's a month. [147:29] >> 6 hour flight, dude. I thought it was [147:30] nothing. [147:30] >> Today's August 12th. [147:32] >> I thought you said it was nothing. You [147:33] texted it. [147:34] >> Find an apartment. Yeah. Okay, I'm in. [147:36] Never mind. Now you're in. [147:38] >> [ __ ] your bag apartment with lukewarm [147:41] water. [147:42] >> Flex to Chicago. I'm in. [147:43] >> Did they even let you [ __ ] take [147:44] showers over there, [147:45] >> bro? Legit. Honestly, I have had [147:48] diarrhea for 5 months from a parasite I [147:50] got in Brazil. I'm not having a great [147:52] time. [147:52] >> Why don't you take ivormectin? How's the [147:54] blood clear? [147:55] >> Yeah, I'm in. [147:55] >> It's an antiarasitical. [147:57] >> Hey, can I tell you this? When I when I [147:58] went when I got whatever co for the [148:01] first time I I contacted somebody. I was [148:02] in Florida. You're like perfect. They [148:04] got [148:05] >> monoconal something like that. [148:06] >> Monoconal antibodies. [148:07] >> And then I was like I called somebody. I [148:09] was like, "Hey, um they're like you [148:10] should take ivormectin." And I was like, [148:12] "I already have some." They're like, [148:13] "Okay, it comes in fours or eights." And [148:15] I was like, "Well, I have sixes." And I [148:16] was like, they were like, "Where'd you [148:17] get six milligrams?" And I was like, "My [148:20] friend." And they're like, "What? [148:22] Where'd you get six milligram ones?" I'm [148:24] getting the numbers on, but they were [148:25] like, I was my friend. I was like, "Is [148:26] his name Joe?" And I was like, "Yeah, [148:29] >> I had boxes of it. I bought it from [148:31] India. I literally bought like a case of [148:34] Ivormectin. [148:34] >> You get a billion for two nickels, [148:36] >> dude. I still have it. [148:38] >> I still have boxes of ivormect." [148:40] >> You're like my parents with flour. I was [148:41] there during co and I was like, "Do you [148:43] guys like get all this flour?" like, [148:44] "Oh, no, there's a tail like 2 months [148:46] ago." [148:46] >> Yeah, me just like the crazy thing is I [148:48] was right. [148:50] >> You got [148:51] >> I was right. There's studies on it now. [148:53] I was right. [148:54] >> Wait, did I clear my parasite? [148:55] >> 100%. That's what it's for. India. It's [148:58] an anti-parasitical. I mean, I don't [149:00] know if it's the one to clear up [149:02] whatever the [ __ ] you have. What you [149:03] should get is checked out by a doctor. [149:06] But meanwhile, over there, you have to [149:08] wait for a [ __ ] year for a doctor. [149:10] >> It ain't great here either. [149:11] >> What are you talking about? If you have [149:12] money, it's awesome. [149:13] >> What? It's free over there at least. [149:15] >> Yeah, I gotta get on it. [149:16] >> Going to [149:16] >> I'll send you to my doctor. It'll take [149:18] you three seconds to get in. [149:20] >> [ __ ] we talking about. Do it then. [149:22] >> Why don't you tell me? Why don't you [149:24] tell me you have parasites? I'll hook [149:26] you up. [149:26] >> Wait, are we curing diarrhea now? [149:28] >> I'll cure diarrhea. [149:31] >> Diarrhea for 10 years. [149:32] >> I don't care one in five years. [149:35] >> Damn. Don't get in a hot tub. [149:37] >> They don't. [149:38] >> You need to eat only meat. [149:39] >> I could try that. [149:40] >> No, that gives you nothing but diarrhea. [149:42] >> Yeah. Yeah. No, in the beginning and [149:44] then after a while your body [149:45] >> the carnivore diet, me and Matt, we did [149:48] it for a month. [149:49] >> Well, the first couple weeks are [149:50] disturbing. [149:51] >> I was delirious. We'd go on stage. Me [149:53] and Matt were backstage. I was like, [149:55] "Bro, I can't think, dude. This is We [149:57] were both like, "Dude, I've never been [149:58] more tired in my life." [150:00] >> I miss it. [150:01] >> I haven't even had diarrhea. [150:02] >> I miss it. [150:03] >> You got nothing? [150:04] >> Water. [150:04] >> Oh, no. The only thing that holds me [150:06] back is the grossest. [150:08] >> That's bad. [150:09] >> The only thing that holds me back from [150:10] the carnivore diet is the guinea in me. [150:12] The guinea in me just wants spaghetti [150:14] and pasta and pizza. Like last night I [150:17] had a steak and cheese. [150:18] >> Steak and cheese. [150:19] >> What is that local company? The these [150:21] guys have a food truck in Austin. [150:23] They're steak and cheese. Yeah, the [150:24] Philly guys. [150:25] >> So legit. They have a truck. [150:29] No, Philly cheese steak truck. [150:31] >> I've got it. It's a good so good. It's [150:35] so good. Their cheese steaks are so [150:37] [ __ ] legit. [150:37] >> I think they're Jersey and [150:39] >> What is it, Jamie? [150:40] >> R&B. [150:41] >> What is I don't know. [150:42] >> You got to use a microphone, buddy. [150:43] >> I'm from R&Bs. I don't know. [150:45] >> I think that actually is it. [150:47] >> Yes. [150:48] >> See if you can find it because uh I [150:49] think that's it. [150:50] >> I know. I followed them. There it is. [150:52] There it is, bro. [150:52] >> Oh, yeah. I've eaten there. [150:53] >> I'm telling you, it is some I've eaten. [150:56] >> It's okay to feel good. [150:57] >> Shane can speak on this cuz you're a [150:58] Philly guy, but those dudes, they came [151:01] to the green room last night. It is [151:03] [ __ ] phenomenal. [151:05] Steak and cheese. [151:07] >> All right, Chris and Boo. It's hard to [151:08] find one around here. That's a good one. [151:10] But it's phenomenal. [151:12] Just the right amount of spice to it. [151:15] I'm telling you, these guys, they do it [151:17] right. [151:17] >> And they know what they're doing. They [151:18] know what they're doing. And they're [151:19] young guys and they're cool as [ __ ] [151:21] They brought it to the green room last [151:22] night. [151:23] >> We all had some. They bring in like a [151:25] case of them to the green room. [151:27] >> They're so good. [151:28] >> You can't get that in England. [151:29] >> I went so good. You go in there hungry [151:31] and you're like, "Please be something to [151:32] the right." [151:33] >> I know. There's a box of burgers. [151:35] >> There's 80 hamburgers. Here's another [151:37] thing to entice you. Oh, they have [151:39] seven. Another thing to entice you. If [151:42] you are ever at the club and you want [151:44] something, all you have to do is just [151:46] ask and they will deliver it. Whatever [151:49] you want. [151:50] >> You want steaks from any [151:51] >> When you're at that club, you feel like [151:52] Oprah. You just like reach out and [151:54] somebody puts whatever you want in your [151:55] hand. It's like tissue or [ __ ] tea or [151:57] anything. [151:58] >> You get a slider. You get a slider. [152:00] >> Whatever you want. Just ask for it and [152:02] you get it. Can I say at minimum the [152:04] best is just hey pour your own drinks? [152:06] You're a [ __ ] adult. There's just a [152:07] bunch of mixers. Go do whatever. [152:09] >> Oh, the drinks at the bar. Yeah. Well, [152:11] we I I wanted I wanted us to have bother [152:15] a bartender. Just let me I know it's [152:16] free. Just [152:17] >> You don't want to tip. But there's that [152:21] >> a fair. You got me on that one. [152:23] >> But there's that, too. If you want a [152:24] margarita, you can ask for a margarita [152:26] one. [152:27] >> You can't make whatever you want. you if [152:29] you want a pizza and a margarita. [152:31] They'll get it to you in 20 minutes. [152:32] >> Damn. [152:33] >> Whatever the [ __ ] you want, whatever you [152:35] need. [152:36] >> There's a pizza place right next door. [152:37] They'll just get you a pizza. They'll [152:39] come back. [152:39] >> Bro, [152:40] >> somebody get me a sandwich. [152:40] >> Not the best. [152:41] >> It's not the best. [152:42] >> It's not the best. [152:43] >> I've literally seen homeless people turn [152:45] down slices from there. It's not even a [152:47] lie. They go, "Nah, dude. Nah." [152:51] >> Yeah. [152:54] Yeah. Bury it. I thought about buying it [152:57] and putting in like a legit highlevel [152:59] pizza place. [153:00] >> Put in a vomitorium instead. It'll be [153:02] better for the community. [153:04] >> Sixth Street is a [ __ ] vomitorium. [153:06] >> Six Street blows. [153:08] >> Street blows. [153:09] >> You got security out there. [153:11] >> Yeah. But it's also it's like I love [153:13] being in the middle of the [ __ ] [153:16] >> It's part of why I like putting that [153:17] club there. It's funny you're in there. [153:20] It helps the rest of the neighborhood. [153:22] It really does because it brings in a [153:24] bunch of people that are there to have a [153:25] good time. They're spending money. The [153:28] pizza place is probably killing it [153:29] because of that. The Mexican joint next [153:31] door is probably killing it because of [153:32] the club. [153:33] >> I like getting drunk on Sixth Street. [153:34] >> The [ __ ] the the food trucks are the [153:37] move, dude. The food trucks on Sixth [153:39] Street are [153:40] >> No, Fifth and Fourth is whereth [153:43] by the creek. [153:45] >> On the way to the creek, there's some [153:46] [ __ ] There's a burger place that's [153:48] legit as [ __ ] up there. [153:49] >> Taco House. If you want diarrhea, if you [153:51] already got a parasite, look no further [153:52] than Taco. [153:53] >> So, where'd you get a parasite in [153:54] Brazil? [153:54] >> My last day street meat [153:56] >> drinking river watery [ __ ] [153:58] street. [153:59] >> Here we got the lettuce. Everybody's [154:00] saying the lettuce is bad here. [154:01] >> What are you doing with your fingers? [154:02] >> You know, whatever this is. [154:03] >> [ __ ] the lettuce. [154:05] >> Is this the new sign language? Every [154:07] time I open Twitter, it's like we got a [154:08] new anal parasite. [154:11] >> Yeah, lettuce is not good for you. You [154:12] should eat only meat. [154:13] >> I knew it. [154:16] diet. [154:17] >> I've always known this [154:20] up. [154:21] >> I was in Italy and I I ate so much that [154:24] I almost died. [154:25] >> It's better over there. You can eat [154:26] bread in Italy. [154:27] >> You can, but you can only eat so much. [154:29] >> And then you push yourself. [154:30] >> If you you push yourself to the glutton, [154:33] >> with me with pizza is like Shane with [154:35] beer. I can get to a strange point where [154:38] you're like, there's no way a human can [154:40] really consume that much pizza. [154:41] >> You're not going to [ __ ] a fat chick [154:42] after they eat a rickon. [154:46] Don't talk about your mom like that. [154:49] >> Hey, she's in a wheelchair. Godamn. It's [154:51] >> his dad now. [154:52] >> Perfect. [154:53] >> Well, watch out. [154:54] >> Perfect. She can't run. [154:57] >> He's Larry Flynn. But uh watch out that [155:01] wheelchair. [155:02] >> What? [155:02] >> Your mom's in a wheelchair. [155:04] >> Well, that my car. [155:06] >> I thought it was a jungle. [155:07] >> I [ __ ] her too hard. [155:10] >> No disrespect for James. [155:12] >> For real. If she's in a wheelchair. Oh, [155:13] no. No. She's got a bum leg, but she's [155:15] not. [155:15] >> James Gandalfini and I were dealing with [155:17] very different digestive systems. I'm [155:19] sorry about that, too. She's been dead [155:20] for 30 years. [155:21] >> Yeah, I can consume I can consume [155:24] >> was that wasn't the girl that got the [155:26] Coke [155:27] at Coke and the booze. What are you [155:30] talking at like 17 oysters [155:33] and then did Coke? [155:35] >> Oh, was it Coke? [155:35] >> Oh, he did a ton of drank and did Coke. [155:37] >> Oh, his list of the menu is his receipt [155:40] is on the internet. [155:41] >> I've seen the receipt. It's [155:42] >> No, he did a ton of car. [155:43] >> It's actually not that great. It's like [155:44] lobster lobster claws. [155:46] >> It's everything. Everything you want in [155:48] life. Like the guy was living the like I [155:50] don't think you should have died young [155:52] cuz it would have been awesome to see [155:53] him be alive. [155:54] >> But [ __ ] that guy did it. [155:56] >> Joe, when Joe started making money, he [155:58] had to have an intervention [156:00] >> from his business manager and his [156:01] manager. They're like, "Dude, you have a [156:03] gambling addiction. You're just getting [156:04] started your career. You can't let [156:06] gambling get." He's like, "I don't [156:07] gamble." Five bucks on pool once in a [156:10] while. like, "Dude, clearly we've looked [156:11] at your finances. How were you spending [156:13] this much?" He goes, "Oh, I eat lobster [156:15] every day." [156:17] >> When I first got my development deal, I [156:19] was eating lobster and steak every [156:20] night. And I was taking my boys out. I [156:23] was like, "Let's go." I would treat [156:25] everybody. I had $150,000 [156:29] when I was 25 years old. Like, this is [156:30] the craziest thing. And I was poor my [156:33] whole life. [156:34] >> And I was like, "Let's go." Susman was [156:36] like, "You I think you have a gambling [156:38] problem." Like, what? cuz he knew I was [156:40] playing pool every night. I was like, [156:41] "What?" No, I'm [156:42] >> would never spend that much on record [156:44] stuff. [156:45] >> I'm living like a baller. [156:48] >> I think Tim Dylan's like that. He's the [156:50] the food and the jets. [156:51] >> But he's rich. [156:53] >> I was not really rich. I had $150,000 [156:57] out of college. First job. [156:59] >> Barely went to college. It was I was a [157:01] dumbass. I was a dumbass with an [157:03] enormous amount of money for no reason. [157:05] >> Damn. You're on TV. [157:06] >> Cuz I was boy pretty at 25. [157:08] >> Hard ball. Yeah, that was hardball days. [157:10] And so like I just spent I I was like, [157:13] look, if my thought was like if this [157:15] goes away, I should make the most out of [157:17] it. [ __ ] like [157:20] portioning it off so I could live okay [157:23] for [ __ ] 15 years. [ __ ] that. Let's [157:26] go. [157:27] >> Did anyone ever try to suck you in [157:29] Hollywood? [157:29] >> Oh yeah. [157:30] >> You never got invited to a pool party? [157:32] >> One one comedian uh but it was at [157:34] Montreal. A comedian at Montreal. I [157:36] literally had to tell him I was going to [157:37] stomp a hole in his chest. [157:39] >> What? [157:39] >> Big J. [157:39] >> He kept touching me. Kept touching me [157:41] and hitting on. He was drunk and kept [157:43] touching me and I was like, "Hey, you [157:45] touch me one more time. I'm going to [157:46] stomp a [ __ ] hole in your chest." [157:48] >> No way. [157:49] >> Yeah. Yeah. It got gross cuz it was like [157:52] 2:00 in the morning. It was one of those [157:53] deals. And it was uh at the Montreal [157:55] Comedy Festival. It was a a gay comedian [157:57] who's been like hyper aggressive. [157:59] >> Is he still still working? [158:00] >> I don't really remember his last name. [158:03] >> No, no, no. Okay. No, it wasn't him. But [158:06] he's That was a thing with him, too. He [158:10] got beat up by a guy in Hawaii. That guy [158:13] Yeah. got beat up by a guy in Hawaii. [158:14] And Derera was like, "What happened to [158:16] you?" And he's like, "Oh, some guy beat [158:18] me up." And he's like, "Oh, what the [158:19] [ __ ] That's terrible." And then he [158:22] goes, "And then I got the whole story." [158:26] He got a little lit, hit on a regular [158:28] guy. [158:29] >> So that guy would be in the back when [158:30] there was a new like 21-year-old door [158:32] guy was on stage. She would just be in [158:33] the back going like, [158:35] >> well, to me that was like the first time [158:37] that I ever felt like a Well, it wasn't [158:39] I didn't feel like a woman because I [158:41] could kill the guy. So, there was a [158:43] thing, but it was also like the thing [158:45] about like a man being aggressive [158:48] sexually towards you where you did there [158:50] was like there's you're not there's not [158:52] a chance you're going to convince me [158:54] that I don't want to go upstairs with [158:55] you. Like, this is crazy. But it was the [158:57] aggressiveness of it that I was like, [158:58] "Ooh, this is got to be awful." So weird [159:01] for a because a gay guy can just go get [159:03] laid so easily. [159:04] >> Not in Canada. I mean, this is in the [159:05] 90s in Canada. [159:06] >> But they want what they want. [159:07] >> They got gay bars. [159:09] >> Some guy tried to jerk me off in the [159:10] back of a bus in Vietnam. [159:11] >> I tried. How far did he get? [159:13] >> He got He touched my dick and I was [159:16] like, dude, [159:16] >> actually under the pants. [159:18] >> Over the pants. [159:19] >> Oh, I had a guy I had a guy give me a [159:21] stroke in a party bus once. [159:23] >> Really? [159:24] >> In high school. I was getting blown by a [159:26] girl on a party bus and a guy went like [159:29] a full hand. Wait a minute. How did he [159:31] get the girl's face away from your [ __ ] [159:33] >> He said something. She went, "Huh?" [159:35] >> And then he grabbed my dick and my [159:38] jked her. [159:41] >> Repeat this story. [159:42] >> I was on a party bus in in high school. [159:44] Remember those party buses? Party buses. [159:46] And uh we put all our money together. We [159:47] rented a party bus. I can buy your [159:49] sunglasses by a lady in the back of the [159:51] bus like Rosa Parks. And uh this he said [159:55] something and she popped her head up and [159:56] he gave me a full stroke. Wow. And I was [159:58] like, and I pushed him and then was [160:00] like, "That was weird." And then she [160:01] went back. [160:02] >> He was like, "I don't care. I got the [160:04] goof." [160:04] >> It was a goof. It was a goof. Very funny [160:06] goof. What if What if he [ __ ] What if [160:08] you popped [160:11] boy? Man had your heart. Your heart and [160:13] I touched you. What if she was what if [160:15] she was blowing you when you were on the [160:17] edge and this guy gave you a stroke and [160:19] you were like a broken fire hydra just [160:22] blowing up the ceiling. [160:25] >> It was in the late [160:26] >> the windows. It's a different time. That [160:28] was normal back then. Gay humor was fun. [160:30] He's a Marine now. That guy. [160:32] >> Yeah, obviously. [160:33] >> You sure he's not in the Navy? [160:38] >> Yeah. Boy, I remember those broke days. [160:39] One time I did a club. You ever do the [160:41] funny farm in Youngstown, Ohio? [160:44] >> I did not. [160:46] >> I did. Youngtown. Was it the place that [160:48] was connected to a club? [160:50] >> It was. Yes. And the hotel was [160:52] >> And the It was connected. I did do it. [160:54] The hotel's connected to a The club is [160:56] connect the comedy club's connected to a [160:57] like a nightclub and then the late show, [161:00] the [ __ ] music plays and it's [161:03] >> That was it. That was it. [161:04] >> It's impossible. You're on stage. It's [161:05] like, [161:07] >> "What does this have to do with guys, [161:08] Jack?" Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get back [161:09] to the real [161:10] Talk about the clubs pay scale. [161:12] >> Let's not talk about shitty clubs. Let's [161:13] talk about you getting stroked by guys. [161:15] >> Oh, all right. Well, yeah, the guy [161:16] jerked me out. [161:17] >> Is that the only other time [161:18] >> all the way? [161:19] >> No, no, just one one pump. [161:21] >> The same guy. Same story. [161:23] >> Yeah, I'm going back. [161:24] >> If it keeps happening, you got to go. [161:26] Hey, [161:27] >> this is habitual. [161:28] >> This is odd. [161:29] >> One stroke. This is odd. It keeps coming [161:31] up. Keep getting stroked. But yeah, the [161:34] funny farm, one of my first headlining [161:36] gigs, you know, there three people in [161:37] the audience, but the guy goes, the [161:40] owner goes, "Hey, you want a you want a [161:42] meal?" I was like, "Oh my god, I want a [161:43] meal." Of course. And he goes, "Get the [161:45] swordfish. It's amazing. You got to get [161:47] the swordfish." I was like, "Oh my god, [161:48] >> the swordfish in Young." [161:55] >> Yeah, that's crazy. [161:58] >> But, you know, when you're broke in a [162:00] store, it's like exotic. you're like, [162:02] "Oh my god, I got to have this." And I [162:04] was like, "Okay, thanks." And he goes, [162:05] "There's a great wine. It pairs well [162:06] with the Swordfish." Because it was [162:07] attached to a club kind of restaurant [162:09] thing. So I was like, "Oh, all right." [162:10] And he I drank like, you know, bottle [162:12] and a half of wine, swordfish, couple [162:14] beers, and he gave me the bill. [162:16] >> And I didn't know he was charging me. [162:18] >> No [ __ ] way. [162:19] >> I was getting paid like $400 for the [162:21] weekend. The bill was like 380. [162:25] >> Yeah. [162:26] >> What? [162:26] >> Those were the days. [162:28] >> So why did you think it was free? [162:30] Because the owner is going, "Hey, get [162:31] this." He was upselling me on [ __ ] [162:34] >> Oh. [162:34] >> Oh, wow. [162:36] >> I got [ __ ] [162:37] >> So, he just didn't want to pay. [162:38] >> I bet that was a can. [162:39] >> He didn't want to pay you because he's [162:41] not even giving you a discounted rate [162:43] for the meals. [162:44] >> No. No half off. No. [162:45] >> You were performing that night. That's [162:47] >> the whole weekend. [162:48] >> Diaz, I was going to Jacksonville. [162:50] >> I was like, "What the [ __ ] man? You I [162:52] didn't know it was I thought it was [162:53] free." And he's like, "Free? It's [162:54] Swordfish?" [162:57] >> So, how did how did it play out? It's [162:59] cost,000. How did it play out? [163:00] >> I had to pay the guy and then he, you [163:01] know, gave me a check for 400 bucks at [163:03] the end of the weekend. But the [163:04] swordfish [ __ ] was like 300 bucks [163:08] >> and the whole weekend was 400 bucks. [163:10] >> Yeah. Yeah. It was dark time. [163:12] >> Scumbag. [163:13] >> So many scummy owners. [163:14] >> I mean, everybody's got those stories [163:15] where they What's that one story? I [163:17] think I think it's a Joe List story [163:19] where he tried to get paid and the guy [163:20] just put a gun on the table and he's [163:21] like, "All right, I'll see you later." [163:23] >> I had a guy who I worked for [163:25] >> same thing. Yeah. who didn't pay me. And [163:27] then when he did pay me, he was a mob [163:29] guy and when he did pay me, he paid me [163:31] quite a bit less. [163:32] >> And I said, "What the fuck?" I said, [163:34] "This is not what I was supposed to [163:35] get." He goes, "You should be kind of [163:37] happy with what you're getting." [163:39] >> Oh my god. And I was like, "All right, [163:40] we're done." All right. I took the [163:42] money. I was like, "All right, guess I'm [163:43] never working here again." Then he calls [163:45] me up, try to get me to work at the [163:46] club. I go, "The last time you [ __ ] [163:48] me, you told me." He's like, "Come on." [163:49] >> I would have worked there again in a [163:50] second. [163:51] >> Yeah. I did funny for him last week. [163:53] >> The same guy. He's going to [ __ ] [163:56] >> It was in New Haven, Connecticut. [163:57] >> Taxree. [163:58] >> The same guy. I saw I saw him beat a guy [164:01] with his shoe. [164:02] >> He pulled his shoe off and you know like [164:05] those slippery like nice dress shoes [164:06] with it. Yeah. So it's got the leather [164:08] with the wood the wooden heel. He's [164:11] beating the guy in the face with his [164:12] [ __ ] shoe. There's blood all over his [164:14] shirt. It was crazy. [164:16] >> Shoe Jips. [164:16] >> Same guy. [164:17] >> That's crazy. [164:18] >> So this guy I was like, "Okay, [164:20] >> was that Joker Wild?" [164:21] >> Yep. [164:22] >> I know that club. Yeah, that was very [164:23] mob run. [164:25] >> I know that one, too. I got the sword. [164:26] >> New Haven's a wild place. New Haven, [164:28] Connecticut is a wild place. [164:29] >> Good pizza, bad. [164:30] >> Lot of Italians. Lot lot of Italian. [164:32] Some of the best [ __ ] pizza on earth. [164:34] >> Pepes. [164:34] >> Like Dave Portoy when he talks about [164:37] pizza like talks about New Haven style [164:39] pizza. [164:40] >> Sally's or Pepes is [164:42] >> Yeah. One of my best friends. One of my [164:45] best friends, Tommy Jr. He's from [164:46] >> Tommy Jun. Tommy Jun. [164:48] >> Yeah. I love those clubs where like they [164:49] [ __ ] you and you're just like [164:51] >> I'll take it and I'm just not going to [164:52] work there. [164:52] >> What are you going to do? Yeah. [164:53] >> Well, that's what I did with that guy. I [164:55] never worked there again. He tried to [164:56] get me to work there again. Like and [164:57] then he tried to get get me to work [164:59] there after I'd been on news radio. I'm [165:00] like, bro, [165:02] >> it's over. [165:03] >> And you want to go, hey, I'm half a [165:05] [ __ ] didn't pay me. You didn't [165:07] [ __ ] pay me. [165:08] >> Yeah, [165:08] >> that's crazy. And also, you beat a guy [165:10] with a shoe. [165:12] >> What was the uh scenario there? I don't [165:14] remember. I think the guy was heckling [165:16] and he was drunk and and that's awesome. [165:18] This dude I don't want to say his name. [165:20] This dude just pulled his [ __ ] shoe [165:21] off and he's beating this guy in the [165:23] face with the heel of his shoe. I was I [165:25] remember thinking I never would have [165:26] thought of that. [165:27] >> But I never wear shoes like that. I wear [165:29] shoes that like lace up but he just [165:30] Yeah. He slipped that thing right off of [165:32] his foot and used it as a weapon. [165:34] >> I mean the heel on that rock hard. [165:36] >> Oh, it's a [ __ ] piece of wood. [165:38] >> You know, he beat the guy's nose. He [165:40] beat him on the nose with the heel. The [165:42] shoe. [165:42] >> Yeah. just grabbed the tip of the toe [165:44] and just [ __ ] whack whack and blood [165:47] was everywhere was spraying all his [165:50] shirt was white and it was just splatter [165:53] was like oh we're not allowed to laugh [165:54] >> and then he had to run from the cops [165:55] >> I got kicked out for laughing too loud [165:58] >> I was helping I was just helping the [165:59] show I was laughing too [166:01] >> loud the Chappelle thing [166:04] >> I think it was the same thing [166:05] >> like literally came into the guy's [166:08] office and he was like young and like [166:09] where the [ __ ] my money man and they [166:11] put a gun on the table Yeah. Yeah. [166:13] >> We'll figure it out, right? [166:14] >> Yeah. I guess we will. [166:15] >> Well, that's Richard Prior in one of his [166:17] specials. [166:19] >> I mean, it must happen. [166:20] >> It happens. It happened to me. It [166:23] happens. Like, that he [ __ ] me. [166:25] >> He f I think [166:26] >> I wasn't even noticed if I got [ __ ] [166:28] >> but I knew how much I was supposed to. [166:29] It wasn't a lot of money. I wasn't [166:30] nobody. [166:31] >> They gave me 300 bucks. Sick, [166:33] >> right, [166:33] >> bro? I was nobody back then. Also, it [166:35] was like one of the worst clubs to work [166:36] in terms of like like crowd control. [166:38] There was zero. Zero. Everybody was [166:40] nuts. What about What about that Chinese [166:42] place in in Massachusetts? [166:44] >> You remember that place? [166:46] >> You know, people just going they were [166:48] eating ch they were wrapping up their [166:49] food while you're on. Somebody comes on [166:50] stage and like takes a selfie with you. [166:53] >> No, it wasn't a cowoon. It was the place [166:55] in Western Massachusetts, right? [166:56] >> Yeah. [166:57] >> Yeah. It was a place like way out in the [166:59] middle of nowhere. We only did one show [167:00] there. [167:01] >> They just come on stage and be like, [167:02] "We're getting a selfie." And you're [167:03] like, [167:03] >> "I think it's a blooming ride place. [167:05] There's a blooming rideways again, too. [167:07] Don't leave. [167:09] We're all just gone. [167:10] >> Me and Norman are hanging strong. Hell [167:12] yeah. [167:13] >> Well, you guys aren't really drinking. [167:15] >> What are you talking about, bro? I have [167:16] two beers. How dare you? [167:18] >> This is my second one. Had a beer. [167:20] >> Oh my god. You had two cups. [167:21] >> I had two beers and part of it was so [167:24] demeaning. Instead of saying glasses, [167:26] >> that [ __ ] nicotine knocked me down [167:28] for a minute. [167:29] >> You said the C C on that one. [167:31] >> Huh? [167:32] >> You said the C on that one instead of [167:33] the G. [167:34] >> Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Cut that. I was in uh [167:37] the green room of a place once and uh [167:40] the office rather, a place once and we [167:42] were getting paid. It was me and this [167:43] kid, his name was I forget his last [167:46] name, but he was his name was Brian. He [167:47] was a big big guy, like a huge guy. And [167:50] he was blonde and you never think he was [167:51] Jewish. He didn't look Jewish. [167:53] >> And the the owner of the club said [167:56] something like to the in the in the [167:59] like, I don't want to like uh I'm not [168:01] trying to jew you down. [168:03] >> Yeah. [168:04] >> And he went crazy. [168:06] He went crazy and started screaming at [168:07] this guy. [ __ ] you. You're [ __ ] [168:09] anti-Semitic. Cuz he didn't realize that [168:11] this guy was Jewish cuz Brian Frasier [168:13] and he was like he was jacked like way [168:16] bigger than me. And I was like, "Oh my [168:17] god, like what do I going to do here?" [168:19] Like I don't want my friend to kill this [168:21] guy. And also [168:24] not much I can do. [168:25] >> Trying to get paid here, buddy. [168:26] >> He's trying to get paid. And like [168:29] >> it was just an expression that people [168:30] would use like [168:32] >> I don't I know what it's from, but that [168:33] they don't mean it like that. Yeah, we [168:34] use that all the time. [168:35] >> It's just a term. [168:36] >> It, you know, [168:39] >> you don't think of gypsies when you say [168:40] it. You're like, "That's a root word." [168:42] You're like, "That's fine. I didn't [168:43] realize that." [168:44] >> Weird. There's like certain [168:46] nationalities we could completely make [168:48] fun of them and it's no no issue at all. [168:50] >> Uhhuh. [168:50] >> Like uh to stop being a guinea [168:54] cares. [168:54] >> What is that? [168:55] >> Like wearing gold chains. Look at you. [168:56] You look like a guinea wearing gold [168:58] chain and a [168:58] >> tank take off as a as an [169:02] lynched grandfather's day. It did. My [169:04] grandfather told me horror stories him [169:07] being an immigrant from Italy and what [169:09] he had to deal with going to school here [169:11] in America and in New Jersey and how [169:14] different it's crazy to think of anti- [169:16] Polish, anti Irish, antiian specific [169:20] racism whites. [169:21] >> So everyone has to be Anglo I guess from [169:23] England. like what what is the criteria [169:25] to not get beat up? [169:27] >> It was the it was the thing was like [169:28] people that were coming from these Latin [169:30] countries, people that are coming from [169:32] Mexico, coming from Puerto Rico, people [169:35] that coming from Italy, you know, the [169:37] countries that were initially Latin [169:40] countries, brown people. Yeah. [169:41] >> And Italians were thought of as brown [169:43] people. [169:43] >> Yeah. But Irish aren't brown. There was [169:44] Irish [169:45] >> but they were like poor and they were [169:48] lower class. They were the people that [169:49] were like working in [ __ ] factories [169:52] and working Have that as your racism. [169:54] Whites on whites. [169:55] >> Whites on whites. [169:56] >> Wild. A lot of Irish people are slaves. [169:59] >> Yeah. Yeah. [170:00] >> Hey, right. Talk to it. Reach that level [170:02] of drinking. [170:03] >> You want to tell uh You want to tell [170:05] people [170:06] >> we were slaves. Usually a couple more [170:08] beers. You know, Irish. [170:10] >> We was kings. We was [170:11] >> Well, you want to tell white people back [170:12] then like it's going to get worse. Like [170:15] if you're mad at this Irish guy, buckle [170:17] up [170:18] >> one day. One day they're not even going [170:20] to read your scripts. [170:21] >> Yeah. You're going to hear like a [170:24] coming soon. [170:26] >> You're going to regret that tomorrow. [170:28] >> Well, I'm just saying, [170:31] >> man, I'm watching a I don't know what it [170:34] is. Once I had a kid, I got way into [170:36] history. [170:36] >> I don't know why. I'm obsessed with [170:38] history. [170:38] >> What are you thinking about? [170:39] >> Well, I'm watching all these uh [170:41] presidential documentaries on Netflix. [170:44] They're unbelievable. [170:45] >> Yeah, President's Rule, [170:46] >> by the way. U Grant. [170:47] >> Grant's my guy. I got [170:48] >> I'm in love with this guy. He's my guy. [170:50] He's the Well, you know, he went to West [170:51] Point. [170:52] >> Yeah. [170:53] >> So, I think I've said this on [170:57] >> I talk about Grant every day. [170:58] >> Give me some music, Jamie. I love Grant. [171:00] >> Grant rules. [171:01] >> What do you say about Talk about Grant [171:02] all day? [171:02] >> Well, one cool thing was, you know, [171:04] during the the war. [171:05] >> He was a big general. And they would go, [171:07] "Hey, what is this song?" [171:13] I [171:13] >> was at the middle of a story here. [171:17] lant. [171:20] >> We got to give him some music first. All [171:22] right. Uh, so Grant was that like big [171:25] general in the yard. [171:26] >> I hear somebody else talking about [171:28] Grant. I get jealous and mad. [171:29] >> He went to West Point. He went to [171:31] college with a bunch of other guys who [171:32] all got put into the war. And a lot of [171:34] them a lot of them were Confederate. So [171:37] they'd be like, "We got to go beat up. [171:38] We got to go kill a bunch of people at [171:40] this fort in Georgia." And he's like, [171:41] "Who's the who's the head guy over [171:42] there?" And they'd go, "Whatever, [171:43] Sherman." And he go, I would score that [171:45] guy. He's a [ __ ] [171:47] >> Come on. [171:47] >> He's a We can take him. So he knew [171:49] everybody. So he'd be like, "Oh, I I [171:50] went I played ball with that guy. He's a [171:52] [ __ ] We can we can kill him." [171:55] >> How crazy is that? Like he knew [171:57] everybody. [171:57] >> That's exactly what happened to Mark. [171:59] You're exactly right. That [ __ ] rocks. [172:02] >> Amazing. [172:02] >> It's like my favorite thing about Grant. [172:04] >> I mean, [172:04] >> you want to know some other cool things [172:05] about Grant? We could talk Grant all [172:07] day. [172:07] >> He was He was kind of a loser for a [172:09] while. [172:09] >> He was a loser. Tried every farm, all [172:12] this [ __ ] He well the big thing for him [172:14] was after West Point he went and fought [172:15] in Mexico war. [172:17] >> Yes. Heal great cavalry men and he [172:19] fought under Roberty Lee alongside of [172:22] >> Mexico and he [172:24] >> against the Mexicans and the Spanish. [172:26] >> Oh, Americans against Mexico. Okay. [172:28] Okay. [172:28] >> But he uh he found out that uh he [172:33] remembers seeing Roberty Lee being like [172:35] nervous before battle, [172:37] >> which he's going to keep that with him [172:38] the rest of his life. But uh after the [172:42] war, he gets sent out west [172:45] and because there's no war there's it's [172:47] just they're just he's just at a post. [172:49] He misses his babe. He he succumbs to [172:52] the the demon rum. He's drinking. [172:54] >> Yeah. He had a problem. [172:55] >> And uh he gets kicked out of the He gets [172:57] kicked out of the army for being a [172:58] drunk. [172:59] >> Goes home, frees his slaves while he has [173:02] zero dollars. [173:03] >> He married He married into slaves. his [173:05] family. He came from abolitionist [173:08] parents, but he married into a his his [173:10] wife, her family had slaves. [173:13] >> When he gets homeow, [173:15] >> you left out a part. He would free the [173:16] slaves and he would bring them down to [173:17] the courthouse and they go, "Dude, you [173:19] can get like 2,000 bucks for this guy." [173:21] He was like, "No, no, no. Let him go. [173:22] >> I was getting to it." [173:23] >> Oh, sorry. [173:24] >> Then he he frees the slaves like, "This [173:26] is like the wor This is worth like a [173:27] house. [173:28] >> Want one of these? [173:28] >> What are you doing?" Yeah. And then [173:32] >> then he works he works at his dad's [173:34] general store [173:35] >> and his father-in-law's general store. [173:36] He's working as a [ __ ] clerk [173:38] >> hat general store. [173:40] >> He's like, "This guy's a bum." [173:41] >> When the war breaks out, he is a [ __ ] [173:43] clerk. He's working a register at a [173:46] store [173:47] >> when the war breaks out. By the end of [173:48] the war, he's he's controlling the [173:50] entire Union Army. Exactly. [173:51] >> Within four years, [173:52] >> then becomes president. [173:52] >> Well, he's working the [ __ ] register [173:55] at a grocery store. [173:56] >> It's like a St. Louis Cardinal story. [174:00] really. He was the [ __ ] man. [174:01] >> And he was great on a horse. So he he [174:04] took the world by storm cuz he went out [174:06] in the middle of the battlefield and did [174:07] the thing where he goes on the side of [174:09] the horse. [174:09] >> That was in Mexico. He definitely didn't [174:10] do that in the Civil War. [174:12] >> Like the natives. [174:13] >> He went on the side of the horse so they [174:14] couldn't shoot him and then he popped up [174:15] and killed a bunch of people. I mean, [174:17] the guy was a a complete badass. [174:19] >> He's the man. [174:20] >> And then just think of all those young [174:21] guys who volunteered. You got to think [174:23] in these old wars. They don't just have [174:25] to fight. They have to go to a place. [174:27] >> I went to Fort something on Saturday. No [174:29] way. [174:29] >> I was standing there Saturday, dude. I [174:32] was the Civil War. [174:33] >> Wow. [174:33] >> Do you know how bored people must have [174:34] been back then? They were like, "Just [174:36] put me in war. Please." [174:40] Well, there was that, but they there's [174:41] always that. That's not [174:43] >> That's literally every war. [174:45] >> Every war. [174:45] >> Every single guy. Not all of them now, [174:47] but like it's always been like it's [174:49] going to be adventure like on all Quiet [174:52] on the Western Front. And it was [174:53] something that they looked forward to [174:55] like romantically because the way their [174:57] grandparents talked about it and their [174:58] fathers talked about when people talked [174:59] about war back then. It was a [175:01] responsibility, a duty. Totally. A man a [175:03] man stood up for his country. [175:05] >> And also the country was so young. [175:08] >> I know. [175:08] >> Yeah. You're really fighting for [175:09] something. [175:10] >> Country was 100 years old. [175:11] >> A lot of guys would deserve. [175:12] >> Not even 100 years old, right? [175:14] >> Think of that. 1776. [175:16] >> Yeah. It's 100 years old. So recent FDR [175:21] had what? Four sons. They all went to [175:23] war. So he's like, "Ah, [ __ ] I'm [175:25] starting a war with uh Germany. I gota I [175:27] got to put my money where my mouth is. [175:29] You're sending your troops. I'll send my [175:31] four sons to war." [175:33] >> Wow. [175:33] >> And you know, some died. [175:36] >> Jesus. [175:37] >> Stalin. Stalin did that. Stalin had a [175:40] >> Well, he's a psycho. [175:41] >> [ __ ] He had a policy of like uh [175:43] >> Dude, you made me read that book on [175:45] Stalin. I started reading it. I got [175:47] maybe a chapter in [175:49] >> the worst book of all time. [175:50] >> I can't do That's worse than Annie [175:52] Jacobson. [175:52] >> It's the worst book of all. It's called [175:54] Bloodlands. It's about the Eastern [175:55] Front. [175:56] >> It's the worst against the Nazis. [175:58] >> It's the Nazis and the Soviets and what [176:00] happened to like Bellarus and Ukraine [176:02] and oof m [176:05] >> bro. They starve people. [176:06] >> Yeah. Ukraine was the the helomador was [176:10] one of the worst things that's ever [176:11] happened. So communism's the gayest [ __ ] [176:15] ever. [176:16] >> We Somebody needs to look into how gay [176:18] communism is. Isn't it crazy that it's [176:20] making a comeback? [176:22] >> It always does. [176:23] >> It's a cycle. There's a cycle. [176:25] >> The problem is is if we cannot call it [176:27] communism, if we get free healthcare, [176:29] >> that would be a good move. [176:30] >> That would help a lot. [176:31] >> We're calling everybody communist [176:33] communist. [176:34] >> Free healthcare is cool. [176:35] >> Yeah, [176:36] >> we should have that. [176:37] >> It's normal. [176:38] >> That's not communism. [176:39] >> We should have healthare and education. [176:41] You should treat the entire country like [176:43] it's a community. If you have a [176:44] community, would you want the sickest [176:46] person to [ __ ] die? who could be very [176:49] valuable if you could like take care of [176:51] them and do you have the resources to [176:52] take care of them? Of [176:53] >> course you should. We're country. [176:54] >> Exactly. With libraries. [176:56] >> This is the problem with capital with [176:59] with C. This is the reason why people [177:00] turn on all these billionaires. They [177:02] turn on them because they why do you [177:04] have so much when people have so little? [177:05] But it's cuz it's the game. It's the [177:07] game that they're playing. And you're [177:09] playing the game, too. You're just not [177:10] playing it at that level. [177:12] >> But again, these rich people pay a lot [177:14] and give a lot of services. [177:15] >> But yeah, there's that. But also the [177:17] services, the amount of money that they [177:19] get is all going to corrupt people that [177:21] are funneling into their own bank [177:22] accounts. Yeah, that's the problem with [177:24] running through Ireland. There's too [177:25] many nonprofits and NOS's and you know, [177:29] you find out that the homeless people [177:30] that are running the nonprofits in LA, [177:32] like somebody just sent me like here, [177:34] I'll send it to you, Jamie. I got that [177:35] Marshall Rogan coin. [177:36] >> It's so crazy when you look at the [177:38] amount of money that is being paid to [177:40] the people that run the homeless [177:42] divisions. It's like it's [ __ ] [177:43] bananas. Like it's crazy. It's insane [177:45] amounts of money. Yeah, we're in a tough [177:46] spot. The hobos, [177:48] >> the CEO of the homeless thing in LA made [177:49] $1.6 million over the last two years. [177:52] >> Wow. [177:52] >> Yeah. And the president makes 200 grand [177:54] >> and you're doing a bad job. And you're [177:56] also doing a bad job. [177:57] >> Yeah. [177:58] >> You're also not you're there's no way [178:00] someone could justify you getting a [178:02] raise. There's no way someone could [178:03] justify you getting that salary when [178:05] you're objectively failing. [178:07] >> Yeah. But then you want to People want [178:09] higher minimum wage and stuff, but I'm [178:10] like that's not going to do it. [178:12] >> Well, higher minimum wage is not the [178:13] worst thing in the world. [178:14] >> No, I'm not against I'm just saying [178:15] that's not going to solve everything. [178:17] >> Well, it won't solve everything. You go [178:18] to a restaurant, it won't solve [178:20] everything. But if if you knew if you [178:22] were a person that had a lot of money [178:24] and you knew that if you paid more [178:26] taxes, it was going to go to make [178:27] everybody feel better. The world would [178:29] be better. The education would be [178:30] better. People would have food. You [178:32] would have free healthcare. Schools [178:34] would have nutritious meals. LA shelter [178:36] provider has paid CEO who lives in [178:39] Hawaii $1.6 million in salary and [178:42] vacation over two years. That's bananas. [178:44] >> Two years. That's that is literally [178:46] insane. So that's a slush fund. That's [178:48] not that's not someone doing it because [178:51] they care. That's someone doing it [178:52] because it's very profitable. And it's a [178:54] slush fund. And this is why they tried [178:56] so hard to keep Spencer Pratt from being [178:58] the mayor of LA because he wanted to [179:00] expose all that [ __ ] you know? And they [179:01] mock him and make fun of him. And I did [179:03] too until you talk to him. You're like, [179:04] "Oh, he's actually a very smart guy and [179:06] he's really well read in this stuff. He [179:08] really understands him." [179:10] Well, also reality star. Also, you Oh, [179:13] he's a grifter. Actually, they're all [179:16] grifters. Everyone, that person's a [179:17] grifter. They're all grifters. [179:19] Everyone's making a shitload of money [179:21] pretending that they care and not doing [179:23] any good. No one is fixing anything. The [179:26] thing just keeps getting worse. [179:27] >> It is getting worse. Everything's [179:29] getting worse. [179:29] >> They spent $ 24 billion on the homeless [179:31] problem in California and it only got [179:33] worse. And then when they tried to do an [179:35] audit, Nuome vetoed it. He wouldn't let [179:38] them do an audit [179:39] >> cuz everyone's taking their piece. [179:40] Everyone's getting [179:41] >> So So Grant Grant gets a hold of the [179:43] army in the west [179:46] and he starts making some noise out [179:47] there. Lincoln's going, "I got a bunch [179:48] of these generals out east. There's [179:51] they're scared. They're all scared of [179:52] Roberty Lee. I got [ __ ] Mlen. [179:56] Mlen's a bum. He's afraid to move [179:58] forward. [179:59] >> Roberty Lee was a good general. [180:01] >> Unbelievable. [180:02] >> Okay, I'm from South. I'm not [180:04] >> So what do [180:07] we fast forward eventually? [180:08] They go, "This guy, this guy's been [180:10] going nuts out on the West. [180:12] >> Let's bring him in." And then he [180:14] immediately is like, "I remember Robert [180:15] Lee. He was just as scared as I am. I'm [180:17] not afraid of him." Everybody in the [180:18] North was afraid of Roberty Lee. They're [180:20] like, "This guy's a genius. We He's [180:22] going to [ __ ] us up." Grant was the one [180:24] guy that was like, "He's just as afraid [180:25] as as I am." Also, we got more guys. We [180:28] can turn this into a war of attrition [180:30] real quick. Let's see who loses more [180:32] guys quickly or quicker. And he just he [180:35] attacks. It's wonderful. It's [180:37] unbelievable. And then General Sherman, [180:39] his boy. So they're boys. Sherman and [180:42] Grant are boys. And Sherman has a nice [180:45] quote. He was like, "I helped out Grant [180:47] when he was drunk. Grant helped me when [180:49] I was crazy. We're boys forever." [180:51] Sherman's like, "Bro, let me get an [180:53] army. Let me just march south and just [180:56] [ __ ] them up." So these were the only [180:58] two guys also that treated the South [181:01] like these are traitors. [181:03] >> Wow. Like they they always like the guys [181:05] like Mlelen, all these other guys, they [181:08] were like, "These are gentlemen. Roberty [181:09] Lee's a gentleman." All this the Sherman [181:12] and Grant were like, "Yo, [ __ ] these [181:13] guys. [181:14] >> They're traitors. They should be hung [181:16] right [181:16] >> for what they're doing, dude. [181:18] >> United States." [181:19] >> Can you imagine if Roberty Lee won? [181:22] >> It wasn't that far off. [181:23] >> It was We let them. We We had The North [181:26] had kid gloves on. [181:28] >> You think? I mean, they lost a lot of [181:29] guys, too. We lost a lot of We lost more [181:31] than them. But uh even Shelby Foot, [181:35] who's a famed southern historian, was [181:37] like, "The North was fighting with one [181:39] armed." [181:41] >> What's that, Jamie? Really? [181:42] >> [ __ ] badass sword. [181:43] >> Was that at Hinchcliff's house? [181:46] >> He was given this sword when he took [181:49] over the federal army in 1864. [181:52] >> It's been sold at auction though [181:53] recently. [181:54] >> Four grand. How much? Uh the last time [181:57] it sold it was [181:58] >> 5 million at least worth four grand in [182:01] warship cheap. [182:02] >> It was not that much. [182:03] >> Yeah. I got I have Sherman's map when he [182:06] marched. [182:06] >> Wow. [182:07] >> Through South Carolina with his pencil [182:09] mark. [182:09] >> How'd you get it? [182:10] >> Uh Francis Ellis gave me it. [182:12] >> What? [182:13] >> Whoa. [182:14] >> Try showing a lady that who comes over. [182:15] She's like [182:16] >> I do. I go [182:17] >> that was only 1.6 million. [182:19] >> Are you going to kill me? And I go [182:20] here's my OJ Simpson rushing trophy. [182:23] And now he's definitely going to kill [182:25] me. [182:25] >> That was only one. Jamie has OJ [182:27] Simpson's golf clubs. [182:29] >> What? [182:30] >> Well, me and Jamie were in the same [182:31] auction. I got his rushing trophy. I got [182:33] all of his ties. [182:35] >> Kim Kardashian was in the same auction, [182:36] too. [182:37] >> What was she trying? [182:38] >> She bought uh diary. [182:40] >> Me and her were bidding against each [182:41] other. [182:42] >> Were you really? [182:43] >> Yes. And then winning a bunch of them. I [182:45] was I had a couple drinks. [182:48] >> I was I didn't think I was going to win [182:50] all these. I won so many. [182:53] I have a I have an autographed picture [182:54] of Bill Clinton and OJ from Bill Clinton [182:57] that's like to my dear friend OJ [183:01] >> and it was extremely expensive and [183:03] anytime somebody comes to my house I go [183:05] check this out and they go cool. [183:07] >> I go [ __ ] [183:10] jazzed up. [183:11] >> I'd get hard as a rock. Look at that. [183:13] There it is. [183:13] >> There it is. [183:14] >> That's the one I got to my dear friend. [183:16] That's fun. [183:17] >> My dear friend OJ Samson. He's a big, [183:20] tall, handsome man [183:22] >> from SF. [183:23] >> Bro, it's funny watching his old [183:24] political speech. [183:25] >> Two legends. [183:26] >> Yeah. Police Academy. [183:27] >> Yeah. Nordberg. [183:29] >> Yeah. He's great. [183:30] >> Herz commercials. [183:31] >> Herz commercials. Yeah. [183:32] >> He was in Police Academy. [183:33] >> Yeah. I thought Naked Gun. [183:35] >> Naked Gun. Yeah, that's what I meant. [183:36] >> Same thing. [183:37] >> Spin-off. [183:37] >> Same [ __ ] [183:38] >> Sorry. [183:38] >> Yeah. [183:39] >> Wasn't sure if he was in both. I wasn't [183:40] being a [ __ ] [183:41] >> Now, could you make a movie like that [183:44] today? [183:45] >> Naked Gun. [183:46] >> You could, but you'd have to finance it [183:47] independently. make it. [183:49] >> Oh yeah, they just remake. [183:53] >> Yeah, the answer is. [183:54] >> Could you make a movie like you can make [183:55] any movie today? [183:56] >> All right, good. Cuz I'm making one. [183:57] >> Well, you know, as as much as anybody. [183:59] >> All they're asking for is that [184:01] >> me and Samurel wrote one. We're shooting [184:02] in October. Everybody wants a movie. [184:04] >> This is just a runchy 80s style comedy. [184:08] >> Nice. [184:08] >> Yeah, we're shooting. We got financing. [184:10] I can't believe some guy's giving us [184:11] money. [184:11] >> Theo and David Spay just did one. [184:13] >> Oh, yeah. [184:13] >> I heard that was hilarious. I heard it [184:15] was hilarious. [184:16] >> Yeah. Yeah. [184:16] >> It's nice. It's nice that people are [184:17] doing [ __ ] like that. You can [184:19] >> Well, yeah. The gatekeepers. [ __ ] [184:21] >> Oh, tires comes out. [184:22] >> [ __ ] up. [184:24] We're doing season [184:28] tires. [184:28] >> How much does that [184:30] >> How much does that consume of you like [184:32] to to Good question. [184:36] >> What did I miss? [184:38] >> What did I miss? Is it How difficult is [184:40] it to I mean it seems like an a big [184:43] three months is quick. [184:44] >> Gilly takes on a lot of it. [184:46] Keeves. [184:47] >> Yeah, right. Right, right. Sorry, I'm a [184:49] little drunk. I'm a little drunk. He's [184:51] getting hit. [184:52] >> No, the rest of the guys, I mean, I I [184:54] help write, but I can do that from afar. [184:56] Uh McKver writes a lot of it. [185:00] >> Yeah. [185:01] >> So, [185:01] >> he's a talent. [185:02] >> Just write it. I'll show up. And [185:04] >> he's the train. [185:05] >> He's so awesome. And it seems like [185:07] Netflix has very little to say. You just [185:08] kind of do it and give it to him. [185:10] >> That's so They've never changed [185:12] anything. [185:13] >> Sandos is so cool. He's such a good [185:16] dude. I've known that guy forever. I did [185:18] Yeah, I did a Netflix special for them [185:20] in 2005 when it was still like [185:22] >> five. [185:23] >> Yeah. [185:23] >> Five was disc. [185:25] >> Yeah, it was discs. [185:26] >> Yeah. Yeah. It was like I might have [185:28] been the first might have been the first [185:30] Netflix [185:33] show that [185:33] >> I think you were there. We did that show [185:35] at the improv in Tempe. [185:38] >> We did at the improv. We filmed it. [185:39] >> Good club. Cuz this is just this is just [185:42] a real conversation that means [185:43] >> Congratulations. All right. Did Did Did [185:46] you go down on her? [185:47] >> Yeah, a little. Not Yeah. [185:49] >> It's It's like bare minimum is 15 [185:51] minutes. Planning for potentially 45. [185:54] >> 45 minutes. Who told you that? [185:56] >> I read it. [185:57] >> You have a book about how to eat [ __ ] [185:58] >> Yeah, [185:59] >> bro. Every day you say [ __ ] that makes [186:01] me like I You're giving me a headache. [186:04] >> That's try not to laugh. He Gerbin had a [186:08] book about how to eat [ __ ] [186:10] >> Where'd he get [186:10] >> it? [186:10] >> Oh, that's real. [186:11] >> Oh, that's all. [186:13] >> Whoa. [186:13] >> Immediately into the script. [186:14] >> Who wrote it? [186:15] >> Whoa. Can I get that book? [186:16] >> Uh, yeah. No offense. I'm not being [186:18] atheist. Obviously a Jewish person, but [186:20] >> yeah, we're writers. [186:21] >> You guys love No, but you guys also love [186:23] sexuality. But [186:24] >> [ __ ] [186:25] >> Yeah. Nothing wrong with it. [186:26] >> Good at it. [186:27] >> Black people take notes. [186:29] >> DJ Ken. [186:31] >> Uh, and another one. But Gerby's Gerby's [186:34] has a book on how to eat [ __ ] and he [186:36] talks about it a lot and it bothers me [186:38] immensely. [186:39] >> Where do you get the book? There's no [186:40] way it's [186:40] >> Oh my god. It's called How to Eat [ __ ] [186:43] >> I mean, it could be. [186:44] >> Hold on. I do actually know the name of [186:45] the book. It's called She Comes First. [186:47] >> Oh no. [186:47] >> I've heard of that. I've heard of that [186:49] book. [186:49] >> Of course you have. [186:50] >> It's like everybody poops. [186:52] >> Not being a man. [186:53] >> It's right next to your children. [186:55] >> How to eat [ __ ] [186:56] >> Jesus. Big red plant. [186:58] >> She comes first. [186:59] >> There it is. Oh, [187:00] >> is that a papaya? Gerby's 250,000 [187:04] copies. [187:04] >> Number one bestseller. [187:05] >> That's not great. [187:06] >> Amazing. [187:06] >> Insects. [187:07] >> Number one bestseller in [ __ ] eating. [187:09] >> It [ __ ] pisses me off. [187:11] >> The [ __ ] It bothers me. [187:13] >> And he's like, well, yeah, I do that. [187:15] And then I bring her home and I go and [187:16] then sometimes you just tickle the front [187:18] at first. You're like, dude, disgusting. [187:21] You have a playbook on this. [187:23] >> [ __ ] you. [187:23] >> So, he is that guy. [187:25] >> None of us are acting. [187:26] >> Wow. It's totally is the most is the [187:30] most one. [187:32] >> She's such trash. [187:33] >> That's hilarious. [187:34] >> She does so well this season. [187:35] >> Really? [187:36] >> Yeah. [187:36] >> That rules. [187:37] >> I'm excited for people to see that. [187:39] >> Fun. [187:40] >> You got Soda in there. [187:42] >> Soda's in it this year. [187:43] >> Is Ron White in it? [187:44] >> Ron White's not in it. [187:45] >> Not this season. [187:46] >> What happened? [187:47] >> Bobby Lee, we just had one episode. [187:48] Bobby Lee's in it this season. [187:51] >> Foley. Stav [187:53] back. [187:53] >> Foley killed Foley. [187:54] >> Foley's amazing. Foley is so [ __ ] [187:56] funny. [187:56] >> He's a funny [ __ ] [187:58] >> He's like the best guy ever. [188:00] >> Yeah, he's a good hang. [188:01] >> He is the best hang. [188:03] >> He's got stories, but we can't get into [188:05] him. [188:05] >> We can get into something. Look, me and [188:07] him have already talked about this on a [188:08] podcast. [188:09] >> It's like my favorite Foley story. Cuz [188:12] in Philly, he was a demon. [188:14] >> Yeah. [188:15] >> Like like a [ __ ] real demon, dude. [188:18] >> Him and Chris Cotton would fight. We'd [188:20] go to the Raven Lounge, they would fist [188:22] fight. [188:22] >> Really? [188:23] >> Every Dude, they It was crazy. Everyone [188:24] each other. [188:25] >> Yes. Everyone was on Coke. The second [188:27] somebody got on stage blow up. Two guys [188:29] in the back. Two fat guys in the back [188:31] were like, "Hey, shut the [ __ ] up. [ __ ] [188:33] you." But uh Foley had a thing. He was [188:35] telling me the story about it. He [188:36] brought home a hooker and he was he was [188:39] >> This is all cool to talk about. I don't [188:41] want to get the guy in trouble. [188:42] >> We've talked about it before [188:46] podcast. Are you garbage? [188:47] >> He knows what he was. He said he was [188:49] bouncing. He was on Coke bouncing on a [188:52] yoga ball. He's like 400 pounds and he's [188:56] poor yoga ball. [188:57] >> According to his story, which is my [188:58] favorite version, is he was smoking a [189:00] cigarette. He's got a hooker in there [189:01] like standing in front of him like [189:03] dancing in an empty room. He's on a yoga [189:05] ball and the cherry from the cigarette [189:08] fell and popped the yoga ball. [189:10] >> Wow. [189:10] >> And I was like I was like, "Brother, [189:13] that was you." [189:15] >> I love the experience like the idea of [189:18] him 400B guy like chair. [189:20] >> Yeah, baby. I like that [ __ ] [189:24] that guy on his back. [189:25] >> That stripper got a good laugh. [189:27] >> Hilarious. [189:28] >> Or hooker. Sorry. [189:29] >> He is. [189:31] >> Holy [ __ ] [189:31] >> He's a treasure. He's a national [189:33] treasure. [189:34] >> That's all right. [189:34] >> Let's bring this home. [189:35] >> Oh, really? We're going to hit it 4:30. [189:39] Getting into it. What do you want to do? [189:40] You want to talk about 7:00 show? [189:42] >> I got to pee. [189:43] >> Go pee. All right. I'll be back. Let's [189:45] keep it bottle. [189:47] >> Yeah. Well, I'm drunk enough. Could you [189:48] hand me a beer for the record, sir? [189:49] >> I beat Rogan on the whiz. How many hours [189:51] are we in now? [189:54] >> We're doing well. Uh Jamie, [189:56] >> delete the first hour. It was worthless. [189:58] >> Jamie, uh bring up Jeremiah Love [190:00] touchdowns highlights [190:03] >> and just play in the back. We'll talk [190:04] about other [ __ ] [190:04] >> That's a good whiskey there. Bodega Cat. [190:07] >> I love Bodega Cat. [190:08] >> Get a bottle. [190:09] >> I have a bottle. I stole one from your [190:10] studio last time. I thought I was We [190:12] might be drunk. I just like grab [190:13] whatever I could. [190:15] >> I was like, I'm just in New York for a [190:16] month and I don't want to buy a bottle [190:17] of liquor. [190:18] >> Don't give this guy an apartment in [190:19] London. She'll steal from you. [190:21] >> They're doing it. They're not giving me [190:22] one. I love I love you calling yourself [190:24] an immigrant. So fun. [190:26] >> It's so fun, bro. [190:27] >> It pisses me off every time you do it. [190:28] >> It's so fun. [190:29] >> Technically, it's true. [190:33] >> That's why he's doing it. [190:34] >> Yeah. [190:35] >> There's no immigration problem in [190:37] London. They're They're all actually [190:38] It's very difficult to get a house as an [190:40] immigrant. [190:41] >> Yeah. [190:41] >> Shut up. [190:42] >> I love it. I also tell them like, you [190:44] know, soccer, the term came from you [190:46] guys association. And they go, it's [190:48] football. Oh, I'm like, that's not [190:49] according to you, though. [190:50] >> That's true. [190:51] >> I love calling them on their [ __ ] It's [190:53] so fun. [190:54] >> Those soccer games are amazing, [190:55] >> isn't it? [190:58] >> Well, [190:59] >> also, by the way, college football [191:01] destroys soccer. [191:03] >> What? Oh, that destroys it. [191:05] >> Yo, let's let's just watch my guy. [191:09] >> Wow. [191:10] >> Look at the look at the Catholic royalty [191:12] in the uniform, [191:13] >> bro. Look up Kane highlights. [191:14] >> That is a white outfit. [191:16] >> Look, I've seen Harry Kane. And I've [191:17] seen all of his [ __ ] [ __ ] ass. [191:18] >> Harry Kane is good. [191:19] >> Harry Kane. He spits when he talks. [191:21] >> That Bellingham. He's a sexy sexy black. [191:24] >> I just lost [ __ ] Jed. [191:26] >> Huh? [191:26] >> They gave up Spence. [191:28] >> I don't know what that means. [191:30] >> This is wonderful stuff. [191:32] >> There you go. [191:33] >> Watch this one. You guys are going to [191:34] like this. [191:35] >> They didn't show. [191:36] >> You're going to like it. [191:37] >> This Barry Sanders [ __ ] [191:39] >> Not down. Not down. [191:40] >> Whoa. I've never seen that move. [191:42] >> Not down. He did a full Foley yoga ball [191:45] in that 45 after. [191:48] >> That's good, Jamie. [191:50] >> So, wait, you were shooting arrows? [191:52] >> You were shooting arrows for just two [191:53] hours today. Yeah, [191:55] >> today [191:56] arm get worn out coming over. [191:58] >> No, I was playing MLB the show. [192:00] >> I do it constantly. I'm used to doing [192:02] it. [192:03] >> Really? How's How's the bullseye? [192:05] >> It's great. You stuff your kills. [192:07] >> What's that? [192:08] >> You stuff your kills. [192:09] >> Stuff them? No. [192:10] >> No. I turn them into euro mounts. It was [192:12] just the skull and the antler. [192:13] >> Nice. [192:14] >> Now, let me ask you, if you hit a guy [192:15] with an arrow, how many how would it [192:17] kill him? [192:18] >> Yes. [192:18] >> Yeah. 100%. [192:19] >> I don't think [192:22] we can find out, right? [192:23] >> Elk. [192:24] >> Yes. Kills. [192:25] >> Well, you got a [ __ ] highowered crazy [192:27] ass. [192:28] >> I'm talking about a bow and could a bow [192:29] and arrow and [192:32] kill a guy. [192:33] >> Killed every Belgian immigrant. [192:34] >> Oh my god. This is a crazy. That's how [192:37] most people die. [192:38] >> There were weapons. [192:39] >> Well, have you seen the Odyssey? The guy [192:41] gets hit with 18 arrows and he's walking [192:43] away. [192:43] >> I know it's a movie. [192:44] >> That movie, that part, I like the movie, [192:46] but that part bothered me. [192:49] >> Greeks. [192:50] >> Yeah, good point, [192:51] >> Joe. [192:52] >> Good point. [192:52] >> They were. [192:54] >> Yeah. [192:55] >> Yeah, definitely. [192:56] >> You 100% can kill a person. [192:58] >> You know what I just watched? You know [192:59] what I just watched last night was uh [193:01] The Northmen. [193:03] >> I saw it in theaters and didn't like it [193:06] when I saw it the first time. [193:07] >> What? [193:08] >> I don't know what happened. It's just [193:09] fun. It's all fun. We watched it last [193:11] night. It's so sick. [193:13] >> It's so sick. It's a good time. [193:14] >> It's one of the [193:15] >> is the man. It's awesome. [193:17] >> Yeah. Robert Edgars is the [ __ ] man. [193:19] >> Director. [193:20] >> Director. He did Nelson Ferrar. Did he [193:22] do the Vitch? [193:23] >> Yes. And the V is really good. It's [193:26] going to be awesome. It's going to be [193:27] sick. Everything he's done. Everything [193:30] was [ __ ] ruled. Vitch ruled. [193:32] >> Movies rocks. [193:34] >> Nas is the greatest vampire movie of all [193:36] time. Of all time. Nothing. The the Bram [193:39] Stoker's Dracula was great. Nos took it [193:42] to a totally new level. [193:43] >> Lighthouse was fun. [193:44] >> Lighthouse. [193:44] >> Yeah, that's right. Lighthouse. The [193:46] [ __ ] was great. [193:47] >> Noserado is for sure. [193:49] >> Gretle. I never saw that one. [193:51] >> I never seen [193:51] >> by the way. Obsession was like one of [193:53] the best movies of all time. Brother [193:55] Obsession was so [ __ ] how funny [193:57] Obsession was though. The first half. [193:58] >> So funny. [193:59] >> When it's just like clearly this is just [194:01] having a nightmare girlfriend. [194:03] >> The scene. the scene where he's like [194:05] >> where they're like, "Dude, it's guys [194:07] night." And he's like, "I don't care. [194:08] I'm not afraid to tell her." He's like, [194:09] "Okay, tell her then." He's like, "All [194:11] right, fine." He's in his car and he [194:12] hangs up. And then like scary music [194:14] starts playing. [194:16] >> He goes inside and he's like, "So, uh, I [194:18] think I'm going to go over to Tim's." [194:20] She's like, "Okay, great. I'll get [194:22] ready." And he's like, [194:24] >> "It's just going to be the guys." And [194:26] she's like, [194:28] >> "How about when she [194:29] >> It's just regular life." I remember when [194:31] she taped over the door. [194:33] >> Hilarious. [194:34] >> It's like this a slow build to complete [194:36] insanity to the scene in the car. [194:38] >> Yeah. [194:39] >> When she kills the other girl, spoiler [194:41] alert, [194:41] >> so good. That girl unbelievable. She's [194:43] going to go [ __ ] [194:44] >> She ruled. And that's the crazy thing [194:46] about it is like no one was known [194:48] >> overnight. [194:49] >> Yeah. [194:49] >> Yeah. [194:49] >> She can't walk down the street anymore. [194:51] >> She's friends with a comic in New York. [194:53] >> She came into the cellar once and it was [194:54] like it was like just getting from [194:56] wherever they were on 6th to the seller [194:58] took like 40 minutes. [194:59] >> Wow. Oh, that came and it was like we [195:01] went with Kanye [195:03] >> and it wasn't that [195:04] >> he took the car around to the store. He [195:06] didn't walk with us, did he? [195:07] >> Did he walk with us? [195:08] >> We walked from [195:09] >> Did he walk with us? [195:10] >> Yes. [195:10] >> I don't remember that. We were walking [195:12] me, you, Louis, Rock, Chappelle. I don't [195:16] remember Kanye walking with us. [195:17] >> And Kanye was [195:18] >> Wow. [195:19] >> It was so [ __ ] cool. [195:21] >> That's a great photo. Somebody should [195:23] have got ahead of you guys and took a [195:24] photo with [195:25] >> the funniest. Yeah, it was so [195:26] >> the funniest group of dudes of all time. [195:28] >> Yeah. It's a lot of trouble. [195:30] >> We got there. This is how funny Tommy [195:31] Tommy Pope is. [195:33] >> It was It was me and my buddies. We got [195:35] there first. And Tommy is obliterated [195:38] from the flight. [195:38] >> Mhm. [195:39] >> And then Kanye comes or no, Chappelle [195:42] comes in first. He's sitting with us and [195:43] he's like, "Kanye's here. We should talk [195:45] to Kanye." And I was like, "Yeah, [195:46] please. Obviously." And then Kanye comes [195:49] and sits with us and then walks away. [195:51] Anyway, we hang out with Kanye all [195:52] night. The next morning, Tommy's like, [195:54] "I' I'd love to meet Kanye. I'd [ __ ] [195:57] that'd be awesome." You hung out with [195:58] him all night, you drunk [ __ ] [196:00] >> Wow. [196:02] >> You spent the whole night with him. [196:03] >> Jeez. [196:04] >> It was so [ __ ] cool. They were going [196:05] Chappelle came just randomly. They [196:07] weren't trying to meet us. He just [196:08] showed up. Rock showed up. Louis showed [196:10] up. [196:10] >> No. Then he goes, "Rock and Louis are [196:12] here." I was like, "Bring him down." [196:13] >> What? Okay. And then and then and then [196:15] and then Chappelle's like, "I'm going to [196:16] smoke a joint." Sam Jay went back there [196:18] and I was like, "I think I kind of want [196:19] to go back there and smoke a joint with [196:20] them." And then he's like, Shane's like, [196:22] "Well, you can't go now." I'm like, "Why [196:24] not?" I go, "You didn't see you went [196:25] back there?" I like no Kanye like that [196:28] would seem like I'm going just for that. [196:30] >> And then I went [196:31] >> Yeah. [196:32] >> Uh but yeah, it was it was hard [196:35] wrangling them to be like cuz I was the [196:37] one that was like we should probably do [196:39] standup tonight, right fellas? Cuz it's [196:43] you guys. [196:44] >> Yeah. [196:44] >> And the only one that was like [196:46] definitely was Kanye. Kanye was like [196:48] >> Yes. [196:49] >> Did he go on? [196:50] >> No, he just went stood. [196:51] >> He did. He stood on the stage for a [196:53] second. [196:53] >> Yeah. [196:53] >> Weird. [196:54] >> But he was the one. How long ago was [196:55] this? [196:56] >> May. It was in May. Dude, so Chappelle [196:58] goes on. He goes, first my idea was [197:00] like, I'm going to just go up and bring [197:01] Shane on. Then Chappelle's like, I'm [197:03] going to host. [197:04] >> Yeah. [197:04] >> Look at that. [197:04] >> I was like, well, that's the new thing. [197:06] >> Chappelle goes on and does seven [197:08] minutes. [197:09] >> Oh, this is LA. [197:10] >> Yeah. [197:10] >> Chappelle goes on and does seven [197:12] minutes. Nicole was on. Had no idea who [197:14] was in the back, which was all these [197:16] guys. [197:16] >> Wow. [197:17] >> And so we're in the back row and it's [197:19] Shane and Mitsiey's chair, Louis right [197:21] next to him or vice versa. I'm right [197:22] there and they go, "Hey, um, Kanye's [197:24] people need these chairs." And Louis and [197:26] Shane were like, at first we're just [197:27] comics like, "Oh, okay." And they looked [197:28] at each other and they just go, [197:30] >> "No." [197:31] >> Wow. [197:32] >> We're comics. [197:33] >> It's a cancel fest. I love it. [197:36] >> Chappelle went on to seven minutes and [197:37] he goes, "It's a cancel comedy [197:39] cavalcade." He brought on Shane Dish [197:40] Rose jokes. He goes, "It gets better. [197:42] This next guy was a horrible person to [197:45] women." Brings up Louis. And then goes, [197:46] and then he goes, "This next guy is even [197:48] worse. spoke about someone's wife and [197:50] got slapped in the face for it and he [197:52] brought on Chris Rock. This is midnight [197:54] and onwards. [197:55] >> Oh my god, there was a crowd going [197:57] bananas. [197:58] >> It was 27 of them and they were like, [197:59] "What the fuck?" [198:01] >> And then closes it out. [198:03] >> Isn't that amazing? Only 27 people saw [198:05] that. [198:05] >> Yeah, that's amazing. [198:06] >> Don Bears Don Bears killed. [198:08] >> That's a funny followed and killed. [198:11] >> Wow. [198:12] >> So, we're in the back. Kanye's got Give [198:14] me the aux. He's just playing unreleased [198:16] tracks. What? [198:18] >> Stuff he likes and then his own stuff [198:20] that's unreleased. [198:21] >> Hitler. [198:23] >> Damn, that's amazing. [198:25] >> He explained his mania. [198:27] >> Really? [198:27] >> Yeah. He was like, he goes, "Guys, it [198:28] wasn't about it wasn't about the Jews. [198:30] It wasn't about It could have been about [198:31] immigrants. Could about gays." Goes, I [198:33] went after you. I was crazy. [198:35] >> I was crazy. [198:36] >> Oh, that's cool. [198:36] >> He goes, "I wasn't in my right mind. I [198:39] went next to Charles and he just goes [198:40] and he points at me." I was like, he [198:42] goes, "That guy has a bit about it." [198:44] >> And I was like, "Wait, what?" Charles [198:46] Charles is like Charles like did you [198:48] hear that? I'm like I thought I did. Did [198:50] he just say that guy has a bit about it? [198:52] >> Yeah. He's just like it was so [ __ ] [198:54] cool. [198:54] >> That's bananas. [198:55] >> Everyone's up there. Ross is back there. [198:57] Khalib Quali's there. [198:58] >> It was a great It was a great uh [199:00] hodgepodge of uh opinions on Judaism. [199:02] >> It really was. [199:04] >> Chappelle was like you they're trying to [199:06] get Kanye's like I think I should play [199:08] Israel. He's like you can't play a [199:09] totalitarian. [199:10] >> I was the only one that was like hey [199:13] don't do that. [199:14] >> Yeah. He goes, "You can't play at [199:15] totality." I was like, "Didn't you go to [199:17] Saudi Arabia?" [199:18] >> He was like, "All right, [199:20] >> that was a great festival." [199:21] >> Dude, I had to pick up my luggage from [199:22] your hotel right afterwards. [199:24] >> How was this? How you went to Saudi? [199:26] >> It was I would go again. [199:27] >> Good. [199:28] >> I mean, I got a world of [ __ ] but it [199:30] was so fun. [199:31] >> I feel like you skated more than [199:33] anybody. [199:33] >> Yeah, I didn't. You never stood for [199:34] anything. [ __ ] [199:35] >> I don't I didn't stand for anything. [199:36] They said you can't talk about this. [199:38] >> Yeah, you don't stand for [ __ ] So, [199:39] you're not a hypocrite. [199:40] >> I I They said you can't talk about this. [199:42] They gave you a list of stuff. [199:43] >> You're like about that. [199:45] >> I was like, "Oh, okay. This is like half [199:46] my act." You everything. Oh, you know, [199:48] can't [ __ ] with the government, can't [199:50] [ __ ] with trans, can't [ __ ] with gay, [199:52] can't do this. [199:54] >> No trans or gay jokes. [199:55] >> You can't support trans or gay people. [199:56] >> Support, [199:57] >> right? So, I was fine. That's what they [199:58] said. [199:59] >> No, stuff like that. A lot of stuff. [200:00] >> Just a mothership set, [200:03] >> your regular mothership. [200:04] >> Just the the contract you sign when you [200:07] do the mothership. [200:08] >> But I got on stage [200:09] >> in blood. [200:11] Everybody got in my head like, "Be [200:13] careful out there, man. They're going to [200:14] chop your hands off. It's going to be [200:16] crazy." And I was like, "Okay." [200:17] >> You're a shoplifter. [200:18] >> Yeah, that's true. Uh, so I got there [200:21] and I'm like I I land on the plane. [200:23] >> Shoplift in Saudi Arabia. [200:24] >> No, no, not that crazy. I got one cliff [200:27] bar from Hudson News, but I I landed and [200:30] uh I'm like, "Women are driving? What? [200:32] This place has gone to shit." Like the [200:34] whole thing was It's all a rude. It's [200:35] It's not that crazy. Yeah. [200:37] >> So then I got to the hotel and I I did [200:39] one night cuz I was like, "I better get [200:41] in. Better get out. They're going to [200:42] kill me." And it was great. They [200:44] couldn't been more hospitable and I did [200:47] the show and I was like, "Oh god, what [200:48] am I going to talk about?" I got my [200:50] whole act is cut in half [200:51] >> and then you know when you're on stage [200:52] and you get in that rhythm and you just [200:54] do your act because it's all you know. I [200:56] just did my act and I did everything [200:58] they said not to do and it was fine. [201:00] >> I did Muslim jokes. I was like, "H, you [201:03] guys get high, what do you stone each [201:05] other?" You know, [ __ ] like that. And [201:06] they're like, "Ah, they were the best [201:08] crowd ever. They were so nice. It was [201:10] great. And I got the hell out of there." [201:12] >> Well, imagine like you've never had [201:13] comedy there. And all of a sudden, you [201:14] have the best comics in the world. [201:16] >> Yeah. [201:16] >> Kind of crazy. [201:17] >> Yeah. There was some great comics there. [201:19] I mean, the list. [201:20] >> No. Nobody was reporting. [201:22] >> Said no. [201:22] >> I said no. [201:23] >> Yeah. Tony said no, too. They offered [201:25] Tony a lot of money. He said no. [201:26] >> So funny. They went after the right-wing [201:28] comics, and the rightwing comics are the [201:29] only ones that go no. And then in the [201:31] roast, they're like, "These rightwing [201:32] comics." Like it was only 11. It wasn't [201:35] the roast. It was only Chelsea. [201:37] >> It was only Chelsea and somebody [201:39] probably wrote that. The whole thing was [201:40] ridiculous. It was a total straw man. [201:42] >> She's doing good. We support her. [201:43] >> She's super super good. [201:45] >> Chelsea. [201:45] >> I think she's doing good. I I I liked [201:47] her. We had a nice time together. [201:48] >> She had a good set. She killed. [201:50] >> It's all the stuff she says when you're [201:51] not around. [201:53] >> Yeah. Once you leave, that's when she [201:54] starts chirping. But she was very nice [201:56] in person. [201:56] >> But that's the problem with a lot of [201:57] people. That's why social media sucks. [201:59] >> Yeah. It brings it out of you. But [202:02] >> all these people that [ __ ] on Joe Rogan [202:03] and they go on his podcast and don't say [202:05] [ __ ] [202:05] >> You're signaling. [202:06] >> You got to signal. Yeah. [202:07] >> You're signaling and then you know you [202:09] have to signal after you leave. [202:11] >> Yeah. [ __ ] off. [202:12] >> Yeah. You know who was on it when you [202:13] signed up, you know. [202:14] >> Yeah. [202:15] >> You go to an orgy, you can't Gabby mad. [202:16] You got [ __ ] on. [202:17] >> Could just not gone. [202:19] >> Yeah. [202:19] >> It's a good point. [202:20] >> He could have gone. [202:21] >> Well, I have a point. [202:23] >> All right, guys. Are you guys uh let's [202:25] let's talk a little college football. [202:27] Uh, let's talk a little. What about We [202:30] got to get back to Grant. [202:32] >> We can talk Grant. We can talk Civil War [202:34] all day. [202:34] >> Are we going on tonight? What What's the [202:36] plan here? [202:36] >> Well, I ain't. We're drinking for D. [202:37] Rosa. [202:38] >> Oh, we got D Roas on [202:42] you guys going Joe D. Roas on Netflix [202:44] for the first time. [202:44] >> I know he did the show yesterday. [202:45] >> That is a great [ __ ] special. Great. [202:48] No humor involved. [202:49] >> He was on the show last night, too. He [202:51] killed. He killed last night. [202:52] >> He's a funny Egyptian adopted person. [202:54] >> He's a fun dude, too. fun to hang out [202:56] with best drinkers. [202:58] >> Most of the time he's a great hang [203:02] >> baby every once in a while. [203:04] >> Yeah, absolutely. [203:04] >> We'll have to have a heart to heart with [203:05] you once I'm [203:06] >> He Nobody loves a heart to heart. [203:08] >> Heart to heart. Let's talk to like are [203:09] we doing that now? [203:10] >> I'm adopted. You guys have a heart to [203:12] heart about. [203:12] >> He's also whatever. He's also the king [203:14] of the most minuscule thing on earth. [203:16] He's [203:17] >> too drunk. And he's like, "Come on, [203:18] let's do shots." I'm like, "Dude, we're [203:19] so bombed. This is such a bad idea." And [203:21] he's like, "Fucking [ __ ] Do a shot." [203:22] He's gone nine minutes later at KFC and [203:25] he's asleep. [203:27] >> He loves KFC. [203:28] >> Loves it. He loves rule. [203:31] >> I haven't had it in 20 years, but KFC [203:33] ruled. [203:33] >> Here's what a dirt bag is. We got drunk [203:35] one night. This is 10 years ago in New [203:37] York. And he's like, "We got to go to [203:38] KFC." I was like, "Uh, and the only one [203:40] open was in Penn Station." So, it's me [203:43] and him in Penn Station at like 4 in the [203:45] morning eating next to like a homeless [203:46] guy. It was the saddest night of my [203:48] life. And he's like, "This is the best [203:49] KFC. I've tried them all. This one's [203:51] good." He's a great Sabana KFC. [203:54] >> KFC Penn Station. [203:55] >> He's the uh Anthony Bourdain of of KFC. [203:58] >> The best the best was it during co cuz [204:00] he was in the neighborhood when you're [204:01] like noon and you're like, "Hey, they're [204:03] serving beers outside." He goes, "I'll [204:04] meet you in 10." [204:05] >> Just and then you just call Jay. No [204:07] one's doing anything. And Jrosa was just [204:09] always down to booze. [204:10] >> Always easiest guy to convince. There's [204:13] one little push back and you go, "I got [204:14] a shot." And he's like, "All right, [204:16] >> I got a business meeting later." He's [204:17] like, "You sure?" He goes, "I'll meet [204:18] you." [204:18] >> Yeah. I think that was it. [204:21] >> How those Voodoo Rangers treating you? [204:22] >> They're good. They're solid. I like [204:24] them. [204:26] >> All right. All right. That was [204:27] >> one more beer. [204:28] >> Yeah. Come on, [204:29] >> guys. Guys, that's your birthday. [204:32] Let's all do a [ __ ] Hey, J. Ceue up a [204:35] birthday song by Drake. [204:37] >> Uh, one of the these things, these [204:38] voodoo IPAs. [204:39] >> Hey, did Bert Did Bert get back on the [204:42] bottle? I like [204:43] >> I know Brad Pitch drinking, which is [204:45] >> exciting. Shout out to BP. Didn't even [204:48] know he was sick. Yo, you're going to [204:49] bong a voodoo ranger. I'm just going to [204:51] drink a bong. That's like bonging a [204:54] voodoo. [204:55] >> Chugging gravy. [204:56] >> That's hard. [204:59] >> Yeah. Play this for Play this for Joe's [205:00] birthday. [205:01] >> Cation. [205:05] >> Wait, is Bert back on the wagon? [205:07] >> I don't think so. I think he's still [205:08] still not drinking. [205:09] >> No way. [205:10] >> Yeah, he's still not drinking. [205:11] >> I thought he was off in July. No, I [205:13] think he's uh Look, he had some serious [205:15] [ __ ] health issues. [205:16] >> Yeah. For 30 years. [205:18] >> Yeah. But he had crazy blood clots. [205:19] >> Obesity. [205:20] >> Blood clots. [205:21] >> Three vaccinations. I [205:23] >> said that. That was funny. [205:24] >> He took three of those [ __ ] mRNA [205:26] vaccines. [205:26] >> Now Conor McGregor's trying to [205:28] piggyback. [205:30] >> Conor McGregor stopped doing alcohol. [205:32] >> That's so funny. [205:34] >> Conor, I'm switching off switching off [205:37] Coke. We went back to alcohol. What? [205:38] >> He doesn't have a leg to stay on. I [205:39] think he's basically selling uh his [205:42] stout. He has uh [205:44] >> Yeah. Forge, right? [205:46] >> Black Forge. Yeah. Gentlemen, [205:49] >> birthday. [205:51] >> Happy birthday. [205:54] >> Hey, you're going to be 60 soon. That's [205:56] crazy. [205:57] >> Damn. That was good. That was fast. [206:00] >> You still got it. [206:01] >> Fully level. [206:03] >> That was a fresh one. That was cold, [206:05] bro. [206:05] >> Yes, Joe. Yes. [206:06] >> I'm used to the cold punch. I can take [206:08] cold temperatures. Wow. [206:10] >> Got your throat. [206:12] >> Better than Hot Ones. [206:14] >> Hot and thick. [206:14] >> It's a good show. Ah, [206:17] >> I haven't done it. [206:18] >> What? Yeah. What do you [206:20] >> One woods? I did it. It's a ridiculous [206:21] way to answer questions. [206:23] >> Hot One Woods. [206:24] >> Really? Hot. You eat the hot wings and [206:26] you answer questions. [206:27] >> I was I was hung over and uh [206:29] >> wings are perfect for that. [206:31] >> I always eat wings when it's actually [206:33] great. [206:33] >> The wings are great. [206:34] >> Oh, that's nice. [206:35] >> And he he's very nice. He's the man. [206:37] Very nice guy. I met him at the store. [206:38] It was just Yeah, he's the man. I just [206:40] suck at that type of I'm not good at [206:42] that type of [206:42] >> It's a crazy way to do a conversation [206:44] where you're dying from [ __ ] sauce. [206:47] >> The best was Conan. Conan called in his [206:49] own medical staff. [206:50] >> He killed it. Conan killed [206:52] in a medical staff. [206:53] >> Yeah, it was like [206:54] >> he rubbed hot sauce all over his face. [206:56] It was [206:56] >> He's chugging milk. It was [206:58] >> great. [206:59] >> I was crushing the milk. [207:01] >> Milk helps. [207:02] >> He was like He was like, [207:03] >> "Yeah, [207:04] >> you drink a lot of milk." I was like, [207:05] >> "You should really get raw milk with all [207:06] the creams in it." That's the move. [207:08] >> Ah, that'll really coat your throat. [207:10] What about cheese? [207:11] >> You get raw milk. [207:12] >> Bet that works. [207:13] >> Where do you get raw milk? [207:14] >> I drink it every week. [207:15] >> Where do you get it? [207:16] >> Get it at a farmers market. [207:18] >> The Amish, brother. [207:19] >> Yeah, I drink raw milk. I drink a gallon [207:22] of raw milk every week. [207:23] >> You know what I like about the Amish? [207:24] >> So good. [207:25] >> The Amish is cool cuz they don't force [207:27] it on anybody. They do their own [ __ ] [207:29] They're in the buggy. They're churning [207:30] butter. They don't want to unlike [207:33] communism. [207:34] >> Have autism. Oh, [207:36] >> the only people in the Amish community [207:37] have autism is adopted kids that were [207:39] already vaccinated. [207:40] >> Dude, they said if you switch off [207:42] lactose, it cures autism. A lot of [207:43] people, but that's probably the raw. [207:45] It's the It's the not raw. [207:46] >> They said they're not vaccinated. They [207:47] don't take kids, jab them up, filled [207:49] with aluminum, and [ __ ] mercury. [207:52] >> Milk is also a thing [207:54] >> for autism. Yeah. Interesting. What? [207:55] >> Yeah. And it might be the non- raw milk [207:57] cuz no one [207:58] >> milk. I think the issue with milk is it [208:00] does have autism. [208:02] >> Yeah. the ones that the the children [208:05] that they found that have autism are the [208:07] ones who were adopted. [208:09] >> They just don't go to the doctor, [208:10] >> right? [208:11] >> That's they don't have anything. That's [208:13] actually a good point. That's possible. [208:15] However, the instances of autism are [208:18] significantly lower. [208:20] >> Jamie works for the fed. [208:21] >> He does compromise. [208:23] >> I grew up around these people and [208:24] they're certainly autistic. Ohio State [208:26] >> without a doubt autistic. I grew up next [208:29] to Lancaster. [208:30] >> I mean, we would drive by them. They'd [208:31] be in their buggies. We'd roll down the [208:33] window, play music real loud, be like, [208:34] "How do you like a taste of the good [208:35] life, you sack of shit?" [208:37] >> Well, they're allowed to escape and do [208:39] that. What is it called? Rumples dilkin. [208:43] >> Yeah. You ever see that documentary? [208:45] There's a documentary about it. It's [208:46] kind of crazy. [208:47] >> Girls go off. [208:48] >> So watch these kids just go [ __ ] [208:50] nutty for for a year. [208:51] >> For two straight years, backto-back [208:53] Notre Dame games. We Indiana has some [208:55] Amish and uh they would go to Notre Dame [208:58] football games and tailgate the guys [209:00] that were on Rumspringer. You can be on [209:01] Rumspringer as long as you want. [209:03] >> It's not like one year. It's [209:04] >> But you could only do it once and then [209:06] you come back and that's it. [209:07] >> You get as long as you want. You can go [209:09] until you're like 45 and be like, "All [209:11] right, I'm coming back." [209:12] >> Wow. [209:12] >> But these boys were getting active and [209:15] they are fully autist. Dude, Joe, not [209:18] only are you wrong, they were every [209:21] single one of these boys was autistic. [209:24] They had [ __ ] bull cuts. [209:27] >> We're getting [ __ ] out. [209:29] >> Are you sure? [209:30] >> Not just completely isolated from the [209:32] regular world. [209:33] >> They're yolked, dude. These are the [209:35] strongest dudes. [209:35] >> Well, they're building bars. They're [209:37] carrying so strong. And their faces, [209:40] dude. Jamie, bring up those Amish guys [209:42] that got arrested. It'll come up. Amish [209:44] mug shots. Wait till you see the faces [209:46] these boys have. [209:48] >> They're [ __ ] wild looking, dude. They [209:50] look [209:50] >> It's such a good line to walk in on. [209:52] Bring up those Amish dudes got arrested. [209:56] >> They're all dressed in bread. [209:58] >> Whoa. [209:59] >> His chin is like a guy a sheep herder in [210:01] England. You know, 1700. [210:03] >> You know how nasty that O line is? [210:05] >> You get [ __ ] five of those [210:07] [ __ ] That guy. [210:08] >> Wow. Look at that. [210:10] >> It's interesting like why the the [210:12] religious fanatics always go with the [210:14] beard no mustache. [210:15] >> Yeah. Why not a mustache? Let it all go. [210:17] >> It's weird. Beard no mustache is [210:19] strange. [210:20] >> That's a sick looking. What is beard? No [210:21] mustache. What's this sign cut and an [210:23] orange jumpsuit? Dude, you're a guy in [210:25] the far right. [210:26] >> Wow, look at that. You're right. They go [210:28] off the stash. [210:29] >> Oliver Tree's parents. [210:30] >> Beard. [210:32] >> Beard. No. [210:33] >> Shout out. [210:36] >> All right. What a bench. [210:38] >> He died in a plane crash, right? In [210:40] Brazil. He ruled all the way through. [210:42] >> He was the man. He was the best. [210:44] >> But you know those Amish I saw I used to [210:46] see him in Waw Wa all the time. Those [210:47] kids. Yeah. [210:49] >> Menite. They look Amish, but they're [210:50] not. [210:51] >> Do you remember when we were we were [210:53] doing a gig in Western Massachusetts and [210:55] we pulled into a rest stop and there was [210:57] those ladies. They were Menanite ladies [210:59] and you go, "What uh what are you into? [211:01] What is this?" [211:03] >> And they were like so nervous. There was [211:05] these crazy religious ladies. They were [211:06] so nervous. And Diaz was like, "Look at [211:09] [ __ ] Ari over there scanning the [ __ ] [211:11] out of these white people." [211:13] >> What are we doing? [211:14] >> He's like, "What are you doing? What is [211:15] this? What cult are you in?" [211:18] It was so funny. You were so aggressive. [211:21] >> I wasn't trying to be. I'm just awkward. [211:23] >> But you're just like, you're like [211:25] looming. [211:25] >> I'm 6'3. [211:27] You're looming over these poor ladies. [211:31] >> What are we doing? [211:32] >> They're wearing pilgrim outfits and [211:34] [ __ ] You're looming over them. It was [211:36] so funny. [211:37] >> I was like, Ari's the best. [211:38] >> They shouldn't even talk to men. And I'm [211:40] like, come on. Give me answers. [211:41] >> You could send Arian. He would do [211:42] anything. He was shameless. [211:44] >> Oh, those are the days. [211:45] >> That's why Amazing Racist was so funny. [211:46] Who's that? That was great. [211:48] >> Your next [211:48] >> Mark hasn't had one. Mark had one. I had [211:51] two [ __ ] I'm not good at it. [211:54] >> What does that mean? [211:54] >> I got I got to learn. [211:56] >> Who gets good at this? [211:57] >> You're good at it. [211:57] >> You guys are going in chess. [211:59] >> Second worst. [212:01] >> You're real good at it. D Ro and I [212:03] worked at it. You were the best at it. [212:04] >> You were the best at it. Shane's second. [212:06] I'm third. He's good. [212:07] >> The quickness, bro. Yeah. [212:09] >> You open up your throat like you've had [212:11] that happen before. [212:12] >> You know what's craziest is Luke [212:13] Combmes. He get down one. [212:16] >> We We shotgun together and I'm like that [212:18] doesn't even make any sense. Like how [212:20] did what are you a whale? [212:22] >> How did How did you open your mouth up [212:24] and swallow Jonah? [212:26] >> By the way, you're a [ __ ] for rolling [212:28] cigarettes. [212:29] >> Why? [212:29] >> It's just pisses me off. [212:32] >> D Rosa gave me these. [212:33] >> I know what those are. I'm going to roll [212:34] my own. [212:35] >> Why do that when you get a filter? [212:36] >> It's try hard. I have a filter. [212:38] >> It is tryh hard. [212:39] >> I have a filter. I made my own filter. [212:41] >> Is this the way the Indians did it? [212:42] >> The Indians. Indians. [212:44] >> Your anger is why I do this. [212:45] >> Indians didn't use papers, you [ __ ] [212:47] [ __ ] [212:48] >> You don't That's my people. Don't Don't [212:50] talk [ __ ] [212:51] >> It's working, bro. [212:51] >> What? You're half Cherokee? [212:53] >> No. [212:53] >> Oh, [212:53] >> I wish I was. It'd be fun to say. [212:55] >> You'd be mentioning it by now. [212:57] >> My land. [212:58] >> Yeah, [212:58] >> my people. [212:59] >> My [ __ ] [213:00] >> You were good at it. Thanks. That was [213:01] the best one I've ever done. [213:02] >> I just identify with them. That was [213:04] really good. [213:04] >> Really? [213:05] >> You got the arrows. [213:07] >> Yeah, you got the arrows. [213:08] >> Also live in Texas. This is Comanche [213:11] land. This these are the wildest Indians [213:12] ever. in this spot. [213:14] >> Oh, really? [213:15] >> Cigarette. [213:16] >> There's a great book. You want to read a [213:17] great book? Empire of the Summer Moon. [213:20] >> [ __ ] insane book. [213:21] >> It made the movie, right? [213:22] >> It's the best. [213:23] >> Uh, no. That was that other one. What [213:25] was that one, Jamie? [213:26] >> Hostiles had a little bit of it. [213:28] >> That was the [213:31] long name. [213:31] >> Cormick McCarthy, right? [213:33] >> Blood Meridian. [213:33] >> Blood Meridian. No, no, it wasn't that. [213:36] It was uh the one with Leonardo [213:39] DiCaprio. [213:40] >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. [213:42] That had nothing to do with Comanche. [213:43] That was [213:43] >> I know. I know. But that was the name of [213:45] the the movie. He was in the movie. [213:48] No, that was one. But there was another [213:50] one. The [213:50] >> the later one. [213:51] >> Killers of the flower. [213:52] >> Flower Moon. That's right. The flower. [213:54] >> That has nothing to do with the [213:55] Comanche. [213:55] >> Right. Right. But it was it was a [213:57] confusion. So Empire of the Summer Moon [214:00] is all about the Comanche and about how [214:03] they controlled Texas and Oklahoma. [214:05] >> Like you there was impossible to pass. [214:08] So, this is how [ __ ] up the people [214:10] were back then. They would give people [214:12] homesteads. They would say, "Hey, Mark, [214:14] >> would you like your own land? [214:16] >> We'll give you we we'll give you a [214:18] 100,000 acres. [214:20] >> You can have this place." And you just [214:22] go there and you move there and they in [214:24] 5 months you, your wife, and your kids [214:27] are about to get beheaded. [214:28] >> Is that what you're doing with this [214:29] condo you're trying to give me? [214:30] >> Oh, Taylor Sheridan is Taylor Sheridan [214:33] is uh turning into a show. [214:36] >> That's exciting. It's going to be sick. [214:37] I hope he doesn't make it gay. [214:39] >> He will. [214:39] >> He won't. [214:40] >> No, he will. He won't. [214:41] >> No. It needs to be made by [214:43] >> Land Man got No, you better. [214:46] >> You got to see You got to see What was [214:47] it? 1883. [214:49] What was it? [214:50] >> 23. [214:51] >> 1823. Is that what it was? [214:52] >> 1882. [214:54] >> 1883. I saw the one that he did that was [214:57] about people trying to make it across [214:59] the country. Was the most accurate. [215:01] >> Really? It was the most accurate [215:03] depiction of what it was like for these [215:06] [ __ ] crazy settlers on wagons to try [215:08] to make it through Indian country. [215:10] >> Danish and [ __ ] and trying their best to [215:12] settle. [215:12] >> They all got lied to. They all got lied [215:14] to just the way these poor poor [215:16] [ __ ] that moved into Oklahoma [215:17] got lied to. And that like you see those [215:20] photos out that are outside all like uh [215:22] all these different Indians and [215:24] different people. Quana Parker like that [215:27] that guy his mother was Cynthia Anne [215:29] Parker who got kidnapped by the [215:31] Comanche. [215:32] >> Whoa. [215:32] >> When she was 9 years old, they [215:34] slaughtered her entire family, kidnapped [215:36] her, she married the chief, and then her [215:38] son was the last Comanche chief. That [215:42] was Quana Parker. [215:43] >> Holy. [215:43] >> And that's that's right here. I I was [215:45] just the other day I was driving down [215:46] Quana Parker Lane in one of these towns. [215:49] They named Bro, this guy killed [215:52] everybody. [215:53] >> He was a beast. He was a [ __ ] [215:55] monster. [215:56] >> Don't look into history. [215:57] >> Oh, dude. [215:58] >> If you want to tear down statues, don't [215:59] look into history. [216:00] >> Yeah, you can't tear down statues. You [216:03] just got to accept the fact that we're [216:04] learning how to be better people. [216:06] >> And where do those statues go? [216:08] >> Yeah. Where do they go? [216:08] >> They must be in a warehouse somewhere. [216:10] I'd like to get my hands on an old [216:12] >> They melt them down, turn them into [216:13] dicks. Somebody was just showing me one. [216:15] I think it was Stonewall Jackson. [216:18] They just remade a statue and just [216:21] [ __ ] it up. M. Oh, the Messi Lionel [216:25] Messi. [216:25] >> Well, no. Oh, yeah. The dick with his [216:27] dick out. [216:28] >> Yeah, that was bad. [216:29] >> This is a statue of Lionel Messi with [216:31] his dick out. [216:32] >> Statue. It looks like his dick. [216:33] >> Pull it up. The Ronaldo one's not great [216:35] either. [216:36] >> One's hilarious. [216:37] >> All neck. [216:37] >> His face is [ __ ] up. [216:39] >> But this place where we're living in for [216:41] hundreds of years, the Comanche ruled [216:44] >> till the whites game. Yeah, that [216:46] >> you can show it from behind. [216:47] >> Crazy. That picture is crazy. What is [216:50] that thing that's supposed to be in [216:51] front of him? World Cup trophy. [216:52] >> The World Cup trophy. [216:53] >> Put it in a different place, [216:55] >> you'd think. Yeah. [216:55] >> Yeah. Put it in his hand. Don't put it [216:57] right in front of his catch. [217:00] >> Damn. But yeah, you know about Davy [217:02] Crockett. [217:04] >> What about him? [217:05] >> Well, the fact that he bought he I'm [217:07] sorry. Daniel Boone. [217:09] >> Sorry. Daniel Boone. [217:10] >> That's easy to mistake. [217:12] >> Daniel Boone. My bad. [217:13] >> They're both there. [217:13] >> Daniel Boone was the ultimate badass. [217:16] This guy's crazy. He started Boonville, [217:18] which was just a fort that he made. And [217:21] he kept getting attacked by Indians. [217:23] >> His daughter gets stolen. He goes back, [217:27] finds her, kills everybody, brings his [217:29] daughter back, which was unheard of. You [217:31] know, this white guy alone is just [217:33] killing a bunch of Indians. Gets his [217:34] daughter back. Eventually, he's trying [217:36] to make uh make salt in the river. [217:39] Everything was about salt back then. [217:40] He's making salt in the river. They [217:42] kidnap him. They got him, you know, [217:44] chained up, whatever. They're walking [217:46] him down. He runs away, just randomly [217:48] escapes. He only walks on rocks to get [217:51] away so they can't find him because then [217:53] he can't find footprints. This is how [217:56] crazy he was. Gets back to the fort. He [217:57] goes, "I killed a bunch of guys. They're [218:00] going to kill us. We got to set up [218:02] >> for nine days. [218:05] Indians attack the fort and they're [218:06] just, you know, shooting them off. [218:08] Shooting them off. Eventually, the [218:10] Indians burned the fort and then the [218:13] militia showed up." [218:14] >> Wow. And they they saved him. [218:16] >> But yeah, crazy. Nine days fighting off [218:19] Native Americans, [218:20] >> bro. We're so lucky to be living in [218:22] 2026. [218:24] >> I know. [218:25] >> Imagine if you were living in Mongolia [218:27] in the year 1200. [218:30] >> I got a bad hotel this place. I got the [218:34] worst life. My flight's delayed. [218:35] >> They thought everybody was a [ __ ] who [218:36] didn't live in a felt tent in a rat [218:40] ratkin suit. [218:41] >> Yeah, rat skin. [218:42] >> Is that right, [218:43] >> bro? Dan Carlin's Hardcore History is [218:46] the greatest podcast on history ever and [218:48] he's got a thing called the Wrath of the [218:50] Khan and it is like five episodes long [218:53] of Genghask Khan or Chingis Khan as he [218:56] says it. That's how they say. It's like [218:58] there's a bunch of different [218:59] translations of what it actually Khan. [219:02] >> Yeah. [219:02] >> Now he's got a film, [219:03] >> bro. It's [ __ ] insane. It's so good. [219:07] I got obsessed with with Genghask Khan [219:10] after that. Obsessed. Obsessed. I could [219:13] I read I I watched like three different [219:15] documentaries on him. I read I watched [219:17] movies on him. I I read two books. It's [219:20] [ __ ] it's [ __ ] He was so insane. [219:24] >> Really? I got to watch some of this. [219:25] >> He was born with a blood clot in his [219:27] hand like in his fist. And his his [219:30] mother was like concerned like that he [219:32] was going to become a monster from the [219:34] time he was born. He killed his brother. [219:36] His brother his brother used to steal [219:38] fish from him and his other brother. So [219:39] they killed him with a bow and arrow. [219:41] >> Whoa. Oh, you can kill somebody with an [219:43] arrow. [219:46] >> That's all the Mongolians did. [219:48] >> Yeah, I guess so. [219:48] >> Have you ever shot a bow? [219:50] >> I mean, like an old kids one. [219:52] >> Yeah, in summer summer camp. [219:53] >> That's why you don't think you can kill [219:54] somebody. [219:55] >> We have a archery range in the this [219:57] studio. [219:58] >> Let's do it. [219:59] >> I'll take you back there right now. I'll [220:00] show you how they can kill you. [220:01] >> All right, [220:02] >> dude. I went to Carllin's uh film [220:03] festival. [220:04] >> Who? [220:05] >> That Dan Garland has a film festival. [220:07] >> Gay. [220:08] >> What? [220:08] >> Am I thinking of the wrong guy? [220:09] >> What the hell are you talking? It was a [220:11] gay film festival. [220:12] >> What are you talking about? Talking of a [220:14] different guy. [220:15] >> Hardcore [220:17] gay film festival. Are you going to like [220:21] festival? [220:21] >> This is like a Mitch McConnell moment. [220:23] Something's going on. You're crossing [220:25] wires here. Yo, is that guy still alive? [220:27] >> Who? [220:28] >> He is. [220:29] >> Mitch McConnell. [220:30] >> They say he's not right. They say he's [220:31] like [220:32] >> in the bed. They're grabbing his hand [220:35] and signing bills. [220:36] >> Yeah. [220:37] >> Is he alive? [220:38] >> I believe he is. I know. Lindsey Graham [220:40] is is off the [220:42] >> Lindsey Graham though he's gone. [220:44] >> Yeah. [220:44] >> Do you think Russia killed him? [220:46] >> I like that idea. [220:47] >> I do too. He was old. [220:50] >> It seems like he might have got blown [220:51] up. [220:51] >> Yeah. While looking at a drone factory. [220:54] >> Oh, this is awesome. [220:56] >> Yeah. Like, [220:56] >> oh my god, we're going to kill so many [220:58] people. [220:58] >> Sitting on the drone. [221:01] Yeah, [ __ ] [221:03] >> I was just uh in Charleston, like I [221:05] said, and I was making fun of Lindsey [221:06] Graham and I was like, I wonder how [221:08] they're going to feel. Whole stadium was [221:10] like, "Yeah, [221:12] >> well, you got you guys voted for him." [221:13] You [ __ ] [221:14] >> He was a weird guy. [221:15] >> A great town. [221:16] >> If there was ever a guy that like that [221:18] guy's gay. [221:19] >> Yeah. [221:20] >> Yeah. He looks gay. He looks old. [221:21] Southern gay. [221:23] >> Tony Hinchcliffe look like Hulk Hogan. [221:27] >> Tony, sorry. [221:28] >> But southern and gay is a fine line. We [221:30] got gentiel down there. [221:32] >> You know, [221:33] >> just a sear sucker soup, mint jeulip, I [221:35] do declare. [221:36] >> That's the weird thing about history. [221:38] The [221:39] >> go armies when armies were like a bunch [221:42] of dudes just out in the field together [221:43] for years at a time. They all got gay. [221:46] >> They must have I disagree with this [221:49] concept. [221:50] >> Spartans were gay as [ __ ] and they were [221:52] When you think about like elite warriors [221:55] in history, don't you think about the [221:56] Spartans? [221:57] >> I mean, statistically, it had to happen. [221:59] 300. [222:00] >> I didn't get tricked by the comic book [222:02] movie. No, I don't think of the [222:03] Spartans. [222:04] >> They kept that out of that movie. [222:06] >> 300. They kept the gay stuff out. [222:08] >> They should have tossed that in. [222:09] >> They shaved their chest down, though. [222:10] I'll tell you that. They got They got [222:12] sleek. Yeah, they all were shaved up. It [222:14] didn't make any sense. Like, where's the [222:16] hair? Nobody had any hair in [222:17] >> Oh, in the movie. Yeah. [222:18] >> Yeah. Really? [222:19] >> So, it was kind of gay. [222:20] >> Like wrestlers, [222:21] >> I guess. So, [222:22] >> wrestlers don't have any hair. They'll [222:24] shave it. Hulk Hogan had hair on his [222:26] chest. They didn't have a word for gay [222:27] back then because it was just so normal [222:29] in Greece. [222:30] >> What about that one dude? [222:31] >> Silly talk. [222:32] >> I'm telling you. [222:33] >> What do you mean? [222:34] >> They had no word for gay. [222:36] >> We got a thousand words for gay. Gay. [222:38] >> What are you talking about? Who didn't [222:39] have word for gay? [222:40] >> Greeks. [222:41] >> Who told you that? [222:42] >> I like it. [222:43] >> I think I saw a real [222:44] >> put that in perplexity. You don't put [222:47] that into our AI perc [222:52] gay was just gay. It was just like [222:53] living. Hey, [222:55] >> perplexity stomped me on the [222:56] >> uh Alexander the Great had a couple of [222:58] boyfriends. [222:59] >> He had a good point about that. I never [223:01] thought about it. [223:02] >> They don't go doctors. [223:03] >> Yeah, no doctors. They're not getting [223:05] checked out. These dudes are doing math [223:06] in their head while they're putting up [223:07] blogs. [223:08] >> Ancient Greeks did not have a single [223:10] neutral word equivalent to the modern [223:12] identity term gay. [223:14] >> Appreciate it. [223:14] >> Sexuality was generally described [223:16] through acts, social roles, or [223:18] particular relationships rather than a [223:21] fixed orientation. I just I just think [223:23] we have a we have a very weird thing in [223:26] modern history where we like to look [223:28] back and be like they were gay. Did you [223:30] know women controlled this tribe? [223:33] Everyone was gay back then. Abraham [223:35] Lincoln was gay. We It's like shut up. [223:38] >> I get what you're saying. [223:39] >> Shut up. But [223:41] >> I'm just saying that's what I heard. [223:43] That's from the same people that are [223:45] saying [223:46] >> like how about the pop out New Guinea [223:48] people? [223:49] >> Do you know about that? What about them? [223:51] >> What do you know about that? The the the [223:53] seaman warriors of Papa New Guinea, they [223:55] would take a child when they were 6 [223:57] years old and he would have an anal [223:58] father and they would be literally [224:01] removed from their parents. And this and [224:04] they they thought that in order for a [224:06] man to grow strong, he had to consume [224:08] semen either in his mouth or his anus. [224:11] And from the time they're six, from the [224:13] time they're six, these warriors were [224:15] taken away from their their their family [224:17] and they were brought to a man. And that [224:20] man would [ __ ] him in the ass and [ __ ] [224:21] him in the mouth. And they would do the [224:22] same to a young boy that came up. [224:25] >> Could you just come on the table? [224:26] >> And the only thing that stopped them was [224:27] Christian missionaries. They're like, [224:28] "Hey, hey, hey." [224:30] >> That seems That seems to me [224:33] >> common theme in history. [224:35] >> Yeah. I was watching the [224:36] >> dudes are so gross. If you leave us [224:38] alone, we [ __ ] each other. [224:39] >> No, not that. I'm saying Christians [224:41] Christians showing up and going, "What [224:42] are you doing?" [224:43] >> Yeah. [224:43] >> Here's some gunpowder. Shut the [ __ ] up. [224:46] I was watching the Northman last night [224:47] and I was like, "Thank goodness [224:50] Christianity showed up and [ __ ] [224:51] knocked." [224:52] >> According to Plutarch, the 300 [224:55] handpicked men were chosen by Gordias [224:59] purely for ability and merit regardless [225:01] of social class. It was comprised of 150 [225:04] male couples. Each pair consisting of an [225:06] older [225:08] >> uh Arasus [225:10] >> and a younger Amen [225:13] >> beloved [225:13] >> beloved [225:14] >> beloved uh Athenos of [225:18] >> Nois [225:20] >> also records in the sacred band as being [225:22] composed of lovers and their favorite [225:25] thus in indicating the dignity of the [225:28] god OS that they embrace the glorious [225:31] death in preference to a dishonorable [225:33] and reprehensive ible life. [225:35] >> So this is saying the Spartan the 300 [225:38] were 150 couples. [225:39] >> Yeah. [225:40] >> Okay. Now click the uh citation and tell [225:43] me what year that book was written. [225:47] >> Not to [225:49] 2002. [225:51] >> What's your point? [225:52] >> What's [225:53] >> I'm just saying it's modern. It's very [225:54] modern to be like they you know they [225:56] were all gay, [225:57] >> right? But but there's a reality [225:59] >> a thousand years later they were gay. [226:01] There's a reality of like boy lovers [226:04] like Socrates. But like immediately at [226:06] this table we bring up Greeks. It's like [226:08] you know they [ __ ] guys [226:10] >> like that's [226:11] >> well not just Greeks. It was also [226:13] Romans. It was also Japanese. [226:16] >> Everybody [ __ ] guys. We're still [226:18] [ __ ] guys. Guys rule. [226:19] >> It's also in the Islamic world it's a [226:22] big problem. You know the the [ __ ] [226:24] dancing boys in Afghanistan. [226:26] >> Oh yeah. [226:26] >> Yeah. This is a This thing about some [226:28] soldier was stationed there and they [226:30] were like saw all that stuff. [226:31] >> Oh yeah, man. Love Thursdays or [226:33] whatever. [226:33] >> We're not here for that. [226:34] >> Hello, mama. [226:35] >> Not in the What is this? What are you [226:37] pulling up? [226:38] >> I just asked if the Spartan Army was [226:40] gay. [226:41] >> Not in the modern sense of uniformly gay [226:44] army. Ancient Spartans did not use [226:47] sexual orientation categories like gay, [226:50] straight, and Spartan men were generally [226:52] expected to marry women and produce [226:54] citizen children. same-sex desire and [226:57] age structured male relationships [226:59] existed [ __ ] They weren't they did a [227:00] lot of gay [ __ ] right? [227:02] >> It was prison [ __ ] [227:03] >> Yeah. [227:03] >> Is it true? And this this is, you know, [227:05] again, I saw a real [227:08] >> in the Middle East there's more trans [227:10] people [227:10] >> in Iran. [227:12] >> Sorry. In Iran, because [227:13] >> it's illegal to be gay. [227:14] >> You can't be gay. So, become a woman. [227:17] >> Exactly. [227:18] >> Is that real? And trans is okay because [227:20] at least you're banging a lady. [227:22] >> Dude, I am [ __ ] up. [227:25] Let's get one more beer. [227:27] >> I am I'm going to bar. [227:28] >> Do we get dinner? What do you guys want [227:30] to do? [227:30] >> Let's [ __ ] go. [227:32] >> We go to the club. What's the story? [227:34] >> We're doing both of those things. [227:35] >> Food. Then we'll go out with club. Go [227:37] with not I'm not going to stand. [227:41] >> Yeah. [227:42] >> Connect with D. Rosa. We got to figure [227:43] out. I mean, it's still 5. It's not even [227:45] night time. Start like 7 or 8. [227:46] >> I could also go home and sleep, [227:48] >> boys. Let's go. Come on. Push it. [227:51] >> I had like 2 hours sleep last night cuz [227:53] I ate like [ __ ] nicotine pouches. I [227:55] was lying in bed. I couldn't [227:57] >> I'd say let's just drink here for [227:58] another hour. And [227:59] >> they're not like anyone else. [228:00] >> What do you mean? What way? [228:01] >> You recover in a way that seems suspect. [228:04] >> Yeah, it's weird. It is suspect. [228:06] >> I'm from a different time. It's like [228:09] jeans like Gallagher. [228:11] >> Yeah, you're Rick Springfield. I have [228:13] different jeans. I have I have a I have [228:14] a primitive jeans. [228:16] >> An illusionist or [228:17] >> I got a lot of Neanderl. [228:18] >> There's two of these [ __ ] guys. [228:19] >> I got Neanderl jeans, man. That's a [228:21] fact. [228:21] >> All right. Well, how about this? Let's [228:22] go. [228:23] >> How about we drink for another hour and [228:25] then leave? Cuz otherwise we're stuck [228:27] here. [228:28] >> What do you want to eat? [228:29] >> I'm saying 5 to He's got a show at 7. [228:32] >> But we got to start drinking with D. [228:33] Rosa. [228:34] >> Yeah, but that's my show. [228:36] >> Seven or eight. [228:36] >> I'll do the show. Norman's going to go. [228:38] He's doing a show. [ __ ] are going to [228:40] be on [ __ ] party with D. Rosa. [228:42] >> I'll do that, too. [228:43] >> No, I have to do a show. I have to do a [228:45] show. [228:45] >> D Rosa's going to be [228:46] >> You can come for a little bit. You're [228:47] closing out the show. [228:48] >> Yeah, but I want to be there. It's fun. [228:50] I I'll be there for the in the mix. with [228:52] the Ro will also be fun. And Tony, [228:54] >> yeah, but it'll be fun. [228:55] >> Edge [228:57] >> Tony Hinsk Hinchcliff's on the show with [228:59] me. [228:59] >> He's He's cancelling. [229:02] >> No chance he cancels. [229:03] >> Shut up. [229:04] >> Ian Edwards is in town. [229:05] >> Oh, really? [229:06] >> Yeah, he's on the show tonight, too. [229:07] >> He's underrated. [229:08] >> He doesn't even eat vegetables. I'm [229:09] >> glad he lives off air. [229:13] >> Photosynthesis. [229:16] >> He's going off the sun. I used to take [229:18] pictures every time we'd go on the road [229:19] together of him sleeping on the plane [229:20] cuz he was a vegan. I was like he's [229:22] always tired like and so and one time he [229:24] caught me sleeping like this [229:25] [ __ ] there's a video of him [229:27] smiling a giant look. I'm like [229:30] >> I got you once. [229:31] >> Yeah, you got me. [229:32] >> I got I just posted on Twitter. We were [229:34] about to take off and I just I took a [229:35] picture of you open mouth like that and [229:37] I go do what you will and then we took [229:39] off and then 5 hours it was like that [229:41] AIDS lady to Africa. She landed. Did you [229:44] return your phone? And I was like, it [229:46] was a thousand photoshops. [229:48] >> That's the thing that bothered me about [229:49] those goddamn nicotine pouches. I can [229:51] always sleep. I can always sleep. [229:53] >> And last night I was like, I can't [229:55] [ __ ] sleep. And I'm like, I had 20 [229:57] nicotine pouches. 20. I at least had 20. [230:00] >> That's crazy. [230:01] >> No. Crazy. I just kept popping them in. [230:02] I was We were having fun. We were [230:04] laughing. We were just joking. I just [230:06] kept throwing them in my mouth. And And [230:08] then when I got home at night, I was [230:09] like, "All right, I'm done with this." [230:10] >> Wide awake. Just feel your heartbeating. [230:12] >> They [ __ ] work. I mean, I was the [230:14] first 25 30 minute I was really like [230:17] uncomfortable. [230:18] >> You do develop a tolerance for them. [230:20] >> Obviously, [230:20] >> you know, Shane can pop them all day [230:22] long. [230:22] >> Yeah. Everybody Everybody I in New York [230:24] I see has that circle in their pocket. [230:26] >> Every guy from 20 to 50 has that circle. [230:30] >> They're addicted, but not that much [230:32] really. Like I went on vacation and I [230:34] didn't bring any with me and that was [230:35] fine. [230:35] >> They say it's the most addictive. [230:36] >> Didn't bother me at all. Yeah. I'm not [230:38] sure if that's true. But it's not bad. [230:40] >> Maybe maybe I'm different because I [230:41] don't whatever it is. I don't seem the [230:44] addiction thing to me is like I get it. [230:46] I get the pull but [230:47] >> chemical addiction. [230:48] >> Yeah. I I didn't have any withdrawals. [230:51] There was no like shakes like weird. I [230:53] need nicotine. There was nothing. [230:55] >> And those people who can like I'll smoke [230:56] one cigarette. [230:57] >> The only thing I've ever felt that [230:59] really got me was caffeine. I was I was [231:02] drinking these sodas. They had these [231:04] sodas that that you could buy in like uh [231:06] liquor stores in LA that were filled [231:09] with caffeine and I would write [231:11] >> they were like death soda. It was like [231:13] skulls on them and they were blue and [231:15] they had like hot sauce in them and [231:16] [ __ ] They were crazy sodas station [231:19] [ __ ] [231:19] >> They were really good and I got addicted [231:21] to them and I'd buy them by the case and [231:23] I when I would I would write I would [231:25] drink these sodas and then uh I decided [231:27] let me take some time off of caffeine. I [231:29] got [ __ ] headaches. [231:30] >> Yes. Same. I [231:31] >> remember that. [231:32] >> Real headache. Yeah. [231:33] >> Yeah. I was like, "What does that teach [231:34] you?" And you go, "Don't quit." [231:37] >> All right. All right. Fair. [231:40] >> That's like Castro. Remember they told [231:41] him to quit smoking cigars. He's like, [231:43] "I smoke 50 cigars a day." Like, "You [231:45] got to cut back." So, he made one giant [231:47] cigar. [231:48] >> Churchill. [231:49] Was it Churchill? [231:50] >> This big long one. Yeah. [231:51] >> He's like, "I did one a day." [231:54] >> Well, I imagine you're living in Cuba. [231:55] You got the best cigars in the world. [231:57] Also, you're the king of Cuba. [231:59] >> I've never had a Cuban. [232:00] >> They're not much. [232:01] >> I've given you one. They're not much [232:02] different. All right. [ __ ] [232:03] >> The Dominican ones and Nicaraguan ones [232:06] are very good right now. [232:06] >> Nowadays, Cuban are not the best [232:08] anymore. [232:08] >> There's still really elite, but there's [232:11] a lot of fakes. [232:12] >> China bought them out and they cut they [232:14] slashed ingredients and like quality. [232:16] >> Oh, do they? [232:17] >> Because they're like all the Chinese [232:18] people just want and that's a billion [232:19] people. They just want like to say I [232:21] have a Cuban. So, cut cost [232:23] >> tiger dick tea and smoke a Cuban cigar. [232:26] There was a restaurant in uh China where [232:29] you could go and they had like a it was [232:31] like a quarterly or you know semianually [232:34] thing where you can go and you could [232:36] have like all endangered species. They [232:38] had a menu. You could eat gorilla. You [232:40] could eat like whatever you want. [232:42] >> Underage girl. [232:45] >> For sure there's some place somewhere [232:46] where someone's ate a kid, right? [232:48] >> Oh yeah. [232:49] >> That was the freaky thing about the [232:51] Epstein files when you hear about jerky [232:53] and you're like what does that mean? [232:55] Dope [ __ ] [232:56] >> dude. There's no way they weren't [232:57] feeding people. It's not everybody has a [232:59] thing about [ __ ] kids. [233:00] >> There's anything they wanted was there. [233:03] >> Yeah. The most if you get to a certain [233:05] level of wealth and the most forbidden [233:08] thing [233:09] >> is probably like sacrifice of a child. [233:13] >> For sure that's happened in history. In [233:15] history, we know it's happened 100%. No [233:18] if ends or buts. So the question is [233:20] whether or not it still happens. [233:22] >> Yikes. [233:23] Yeah. [233:25] >> It's the most forbidden thing of all [233:27] time. [233:29] >> What's more forbidden than eating a kid? [233:31] >> Oh my god. [233:32] >> The Native Americans uh would throw the [233:34] virgin on the volcano. [233:36] >> That's all real. [233:37] >> [ __ ] dude. Would you watch King Kong? [233:39] >> What are you talking about? [233:40] >> Would they didn't they sacrifice? [233:42] >> Volcanoes are in America. [233:43] >> That was the thing about, [233:44] >> you know, sacrifice volcano. [233:47] >> I threw that in there for effect. But [233:49] wouldn't they uh kill a virgin? [233:51] >> Everybody did that. All right. Well, [233:53] there you go. [233:53] >> Literally, from the beginning of time, [233:55] people have been killing people. [233:56] >> But why the virgin for sacrifice? [233:58] >> Wouldn't you be a Wouldn't you [ __ ] it [233:59] up just to get by? [234:00] >> I think maybe postChristianity, we [234:02] tossed in the whole virgin thing. [234:03] >> Well, no. There was a time where people [234:05] thought that you had to sacrifice human [234:08] beings in order to make like prosperity [234:11] and wealth. [234:11] >> For sure. But I was saying you had to [234:14] sacrifice people that were valuable. [234:16] >> The most valuable people, the most pure. [234:18] >> And so it makes sense. [234:20] [ __ ] psychos [234:21] >> in parts of Africa where they were like [234:22] you can cure AIDS by [ __ ] a virgin. [234:24] >> Oh yeah. [234:25] >> And so then like how do you get a [234:26] virgin? Like I mean 10 yearear-olds are [234:27] all virgins. [234:29] >> Yeah. It was like 2010. [234:30] >> Yeah. It was like pretty recent. [234:32] >> Oh yeah. That's probably [234:34] >> Chappelle one of his greatest bits about [234:35] AIDS. It was like someone [ __ ] a [234:37] monkey. He was like you know how hard it [234:38] is to [ __ ] a monkey. [234:41] >> Snap your dick like a celery stock. [234:44] Think about holding a monkey down and [234:46] [ __ ] is crazy. The idea that somebody [234:49] [ __ ] a monkey. Virgin sacrifice [234:51] actually is far more common as a mythic [234:54] and literary motif than as a well [234:57] doumented historical ritual. Actual [235:00] human sacrifice occurred in some ancient [235:02] societies. But evidence that victims [235:05] specifically were chosen [235:06] >> for sexually virginity is generally [235:09] sparse and often uncertain. But yeah, [235:11] it's because people probably don't talk [235:13] about it too. You know, it was more [235:14] >> No, like in our culture where like they [235:16] sacrificed to virgins, [235:18] >> right? [235:18] >> That's in movies and shows and [ __ ] but [235:20] they were just sacrificing [235:21] >> everybody. You know, [235:22] >> they were sacrificing poor people [235:23] >> at the Mayan at the Mayan ruins. They [235:26] would take kings they conquered, kings [235:28] of their society, and tie them to a [235:30] giant stone wheel and then push them [235:33] down. It was like 600 yards down. They [235:36] would tie like this and just murdered [235:38] them all the way down. And they [235:40] survived. They're like, "That's [235:41] dishonorable." Oh, [235:43] >> wa. [235:43] >> Yeah, they weren't virgins. [235:44] >> I think it was a good thing the Spanish [235:46] showed up and gave them what for [235:47] >> to be quite [235:48] >> 100%. [235:50] >> Hey, no more% was hard to [235:52] >> bro. They sacrificed somewhere in the [235:54] neighborhood between 20 and 80,000 [235:57] people when the Aztecs consecrated the [235:59] temple of Tino. [236:01] >> Damn. [236:02] >> Yeah. Between 20 and 80,000 people. This [236:04] guy named um his [236:05] >> How many people died in the Spanish? His [236:06] name was Diaz and he came over like he [236:09] was a like a a historical [236:13] chronicler and he documented what the [236:16] Spanish did when they came over here and [236:18] and one of the things that he did is he [236:20] came over in the early days until [236:22] because the the Spanish when they first [236:24] arrived were trying to figure out what [236:25] the [ __ ] was going on with the Aztecs. [236:27] >> This is just so [236:28] >> the number executed by Spanish [236:30] Inquisition. Oh, but this is the [236:31] Inquisition. [236:32] >> No, I know. I just wanted to compare it [236:33] to [236:34] >> how much were the Aztecs sacrificing [236:37] looked up and said it wasn't accurate [236:38] >> in the conse well they don't know if [236:40] it's accurate but they do know this one [236:43] historical [236:43] >> chronic in the [ __ ] what are you [236:45] [ __ ] [236:47] No I've run this through perplexity the [236:50] this guy Diaz said that 80,000 people [236:53] were sacrificed over the course of four [236:55] four days [236:56] >> whoa wait what [236:58] >> yeah it work it was the consecration of [237:00] the temple this is what's really crazy [237:02] about the Aztecs. They didn't make any [237:04] of those things. [237:05] >> They moved in [237:05] >> all They moved in and they called it [237:08] >> the land where the gods were born. And [237:10] the all these temples and all these [237:12] insane pyramids, they didn't make any of [237:14] them. [237:14] >> They were all made by unknown people [237:17] that were as many as a thousand years [237:19] before them. [237:20] >> Whoa. [237:21] Architecture was still there. And [237:22] they're like, [237:23] >> but not only was there, but it was [237:24] covered. It was covered with jungle. [237:26] They had to like chop down the jungle [237:28] and they found all the [ __ ] and they [237:29] moved in. They [237:29] >> found a city. [237:30] >> Yeah. Oh, [237:32] >> dude. They're still finding cities. [237:33] They're still finding these [237:34] >> as you driving down the freeway there [237:36] and you see these like mountains that [237:37] are like that. You're like, it's clearly [237:40] photos of that. [237:40] >> His name is Duran, not Diaz. [237:42] Interesting. Uh 16th century account [237:45] that 80 80,400 people were sacrificed [237:48] during the 4day 1487. [237:51] Yeah. Rededication of Temple Mayor. [237:54] >> I like that correction. [237:55] >> Not 80,000 exactly. [237:57] Just so you know, it's wrong. It was [237:59] actually 72,344. [238:01] >> Yeah, historians bro [238:06] figures as highly doubtful, not an [238:08] established count. Other early sources [238:10] give sharply different totals. The CEX [238:12] Telerano Rome Rmensis text has 4,000 [238:17] while interpreting its pictorial numbers [238:19] alongside text can produce 20,000. [238:22] another chronicle. So like another [238:25] chronicle tokamed tokamada gave it [238:28] 72,000 at the very least. [238:30] >> My original point [238:31] >> thousands and thousands of people were [238:33] were killed. [238:33] >> To compare the Spanish Inquisition to [238:36] one day in Aztec Empire. [238:38] >> Yeah. I'm just saying [238:39] >> not even one day. Not even [238:42] >> it's a good thing that boys showed up [238:43] and said isn't that crazy? [238:45] >> Shut it down. How about how about a [238:47] thousand a dayto? [238:49] >> Oh yeah. [238:51] Apocalyptto was a good movie. Great [238:52] movie. [238:53] >> It's a [ __ ] phenomenal movie. I mean, [238:55] this place was Mexico was wild. [238:58] >> It was wild. [239:00] >> Good thing they act. [239:01] >> I wonder what they called it back then [239:03] cuz it wasn't Mexico. [239:05] >> And it wasn't Mexico until 1820. [239:07] >> United States of Mexico. [239:11] >> They owned this. They owned Texas from I [239:14] think 1821 to 1816. We beat him pretty [239:17] >> or rather uh 1821 to 1836. [239:21] >> Took California very easily. [239:23] >> Check out your boy Pulk. [239:24] >> Pulk. Exactly. [239:25] >> Top five, bro. [239:26] >> Yeah, he was a wild man. [239:28] >> Pulk rules. [239:29] >> And I throw Andrew Jackson in there. [239:30] >> He got twothirds of the entire country. [239:33] One third of the entire country. [239:34] >> You ever look up Bolivar? [239:36] >> Yeah. [239:37] >> Bolivar ruled. [239:38] >> Bolivar ruled. [239:38] >> He was just going. [239:39] >> What' he do? [239:40] >> He took over all of Latin America. [239:42] >> The South America Revolution. [239:44] >> What year? [239:46] 1988 [239:47] >> 18 [239:48] >> 18s and then he had this general sucre [239:50] that was a [ __ ] ob beast and then [239:52] Santander [239:53] >> Imagine if we didn't intervene with [239:55] Pablo Escobar. [239:57] >> Imagine if we didn't get involved. [239:59] >> Let the boy rock [240:01] our problem. [240:01] >> I mean we're not going to let somebody [240:02] literally cook. [240:03] >> Let him cook. [240:04] >> We're not going to let somebody make [240:05] money like that without us. [240:06] >> Well, that's part of the problem. [240:07] >> And we're buying it. [240:08] >> Yeah. No, that we're selling it. [240:10] >> I mean Bill Clinton then [240:12] >> that's us. Bill Clinton. [240:14] >> Whoa. [240:15] >> Okay. Mina, Arkansas. Yeah. [240:17] >> True. [240:17] >> They brought it in. [240:18] >> Really? [240:19] >> Yeah. Barry Seals. Barry Seals was a CIA [240:22] pilot who was flying drugs in. [240:24] >> Is that the movie American Made? [240:26] >> Yep. [240:26] >> Good movie. [240:27] >> But Tom Cruz is handsome. Like Barry [240:29] Seals was disgusting. [240:30] >> Pull him up. [240:31] >> Hey. [240:32] >> Yeah. [240:32] >> Talk about Barry like that. [240:35] >> Good guy. He knows doing the best. Like [240:38] come on. [240:39] >> That's a handsome guy. [240:40] >> God almighty. Looks good. It looks like [240:42] he knows the line on everything. [240:43] >> Great [ __ ] story though. [ __ ] [240:45] funny. Phenomenal story for that. [240:49] >> Would have been a significantly funnier [240:50] movie. [240:51] >> That's true. [240:53] >> It was pretty funny movie. And there's a [240:55] real scene where he gets where Tom Cruz [240:57] Barry Seals uh Tom Cruz paying Barry [241:00] Seals gets arrested and Bill Clinton [241:02] gets him out of jail. [241:04] >> How about that? [241:05] >> Mina Arkansas. It was all he was the [241:06] governor of Arkansas at the time. [241:08] >> What's the reason? [241:09] >> Because they were bringing Coke into [241:10] Arkansas. So they found out because [241:12] these two kids got killed and they said [241:15] that they did drugs and fell asleep on a [241:17] train track, but their parents didn't [241:19] believe it. So their parents did funded [241:21] an autopsy. They paid for an autopsy and [241:23] the autopsy found knife wounds. These [241:25] kids had been stabbed. So what happened [241:27] was these kids had witness witnessed the [241:29] coke drop. So what he would do is he'd [241:32] fly over, he would throw the coke out of [241:34] the airplane with like parachutes or [241:36] whatever. It would land on the ground [241:38] and then he would land and they would go [241:40] back and pick up the coke. Well, these [241:42] kids found the coke and then they went [241:44] to go grab the coke and these kids were [241:46] with the coke and they killed the kids [241:48] >> and they killed the kids and laid their [241:50] bodies on train tracks. [241:51] >> Pretty good. [241:52] >> And so this was what started that's how [241:54] people found out about the fact that [241:56] they were moving coke in through Mina [241:57] Arkansas. So Barry Seals was going to [241:59] turn states evidence and he was going to [242:01] he was going to testify and he got [242:03] murdered. And when he got murdered on [242:05] his way to trial, he had George Bush's [242:07] phone number in his pocket. [242:08] >> Whoa. [242:10] This is good stuff. See, he almost ended [242:12] the pod. [242:13] >> Good way to end it. [242:14] >> This was good stuff. [242:14] >> No, it's not a good way to end it. We [242:15] still got another glad we didn't. [242:18] >> We got to eat. We got to do shows. You [242:20] guys got to go out with D. Rosa. Got to [242:22] get alcohol. We've been doing this for 4 [242:24] hours. [242:24] >> Oh, is it there? Jeez. [242:26] >> Definitely got to eat something. [242:27] >> Let's eat something. [242:28] >> Carbs. Anything to do? [242:29] >> The [ __ ] [242:30] >> I have to eat. [242:30] >> All right. I I thought we were going to [242:32] drink. [242:33] That's too good at the same time as [242:36] opposed to what you're getting over [242:37] there in [ __ ] England. They're giving [242:38] you [242:39] >> grl blood pudding [ __ ] prison. I like [242:42] food like beans. They won't even let you [242:44] have an apartment. [242:46] >> They won't even let you have an [242:47] apartment. England's great. [242:48] >> You sneak over here, you can get a [242:50] [ __ ] free healthcare. You get a cell [242:51] phone. [242:52] >> Schultz was like, "Do you miss New York [242:53] real estate?" I'm like, "Oh my god, I [242:55] do. [242:55] >> This [ __ ] sucks." [242:56] >> Oh, well that's just in your blood. [242:58] >> Well, why do you want to stay? [242:59] >> I like uh friction. [243:01] >> You like chaos? Yeah, [243:03] >> you like to live. [243:04] >> Bill Clinton consist consistently denied [243:06] any knowledge or involvement in SEAL's [243:08] operations of the media logistics during [243:11] his tenure as governor. [243:13] >> Federal investigations did not produce [243:15] evidence implicating Clinton. [243:17] Interesting. [243:18] >> Yeah, the [243:19] >> interesting. [243:19] >> No way. [243:20] >> Interesting. [243:23] A bad governor. [243:24] >> They put it in the [ __ ] movie and no [243:26] one got sued. [243:28] >> Dang. [243:28] >> That's all you need to know. They put it [243:30] in the movie and no one got sued. [243:33] >> He gets away with everything. You got to [243:34] I mean, he's in a hot tub with a lady. [243:36] They got photos. [243:37] >> He's living with Hillary. That dude [243:38] lives in hell. [243:39] >> He is He was I just saw a meme recently [243:42] that was nice about him and Monica [243:44] Lewinsky. If that happened today, she [243:47] would have been born in ' 04 and he [243:49] would have been born in 77. [243:52] >> Oh yeah. [243:52] >> The age difference is wild. [243:54] >> Yeah. [243:54] >> Yeah. [243:55] >> Isn't that wild? [243:56] >> Well, it's wild. 77. [243:57] >> Presidents just before the internet, [244:00] presidents just [ __ ] [244:02] >> Oh man. [244:04] >> Yeah. Slave. [244:05] >> LBJ used to take shits with his [ __ ] [244:07] stall door open while he was talking to [244:09] the press. [244:10] >> Yeah. [244:11] >> It was like a famous thing. He would [244:12] like take a [ __ ] while they all did. [244:14] >> He would stand out. [244:15] >> They would stand outside of his toilet [244:17] and ask him questions. [244:19] >> On Trump doing that on [244:22] >> the world was different then. I heard [244:23] Trump uh who had that lunch with Trump [244:25] and he said he drank 14 diet cokes in an [244:27] hour. [244:28] >> Wow. [244:28] >> Pull that up if you can. J [244:32] liberal internet. [244:34] >> That doesn't even make sense. [244:35] >> That's a lot of diet coke. [244:36] >> Just the volume of liquid of liquid [244:39] rather [244:39] >> just says he drinks 12 a day. Maybe [244:42] >> that makes more so much different. [244:44] >> I saw real. [244:45] >> I believe that. [244:47] >> Stop. Why you got to stop watching these [244:48] reels and letting them dictate your [244:49] reality? [244:50] >> I know your dad sent it to me. It is [244:52] kind of amazing that he's 80. [244:53] >> A car with a cat. [244:54] >> I should get on that. [244:55] >> No, I think he just turned 80. Oh, [244:57] really? [244:57] >> I think Trump just turned 80. [244:59] >> He's only 80. [244:59] >> I think his birthday was at the White [245:02] House when we were at the UFC. That was [245:03] for his birthday. That's why they did it [245:06] in June. [245:06] >> Chicken [245:07] >> and not like July 4th. [245:09] >> Oh, yeah. [245:10] >> Yeah, they did it June 14th, I believe, [245:12] because it was Trump's birthday. [245:14] >> Ah, that's crazy. [245:16] >> 80. At some point, you're like, you [245:17] can't relate to most of the population [245:19] >> 100%. You don't know what are. [245:21] >> Yeah. Impossible. [245:22] >> You can't relate to any human on. [245:25] >> Yeah. Listen, it gets there's levels. [245:27] >> Like Shane can't relate to most people [245:29] right now, right? [245:30] >> Relate to a lot of people. [245:31] >> A lot of people less less people and [245:34] it's slowly going to get weirder. [245:36] >> Nah. [245:37] >> Hey guys, change tire. [245:39] >> Trust me. Trust me. [245:41] >> I should have done my Maybach. [245:44] >> Wait, you got a Maybach? [245:46] >> Yeah. [245:48] >> It's pretty embarrassing. Meanwhile, [245:49] you're talking about a used Tesla. Step [245:51] up your game, son. [245:52] >> Is it here? [245:53] >> No, it's in my house. [245:54] >> Oh, I guess you're drinking. [245:56] >> Uh, yeah, I got to see that Maybach. [245:58] >> Well, it's clearly for a car that has a [246:00] driver. [246:02] >> Oh. [246:02] >> So, I'm just driving a very nice back [246:04] seat. [246:06] >> Yeah, but it's still it's even driving [246:08] it's so smooth. [246:09] >> It's cool, but I uh I I bought it and I [246:12] left Austin for like a month and then I [246:13] came back and I was like, [246:14] >> "What am I doing? [246:15] >> Why would I ever have this? This is very [246:17] embarrassing." Well, the other one was [246:18] so great. The other one was great. What [246:19] was wrong with the other one? [246:20] >> Nice. Tree fell on it. We forgot about [246:23] that. [246:23] >> The seats would hug you when you went on [246:25] a tour. [246:25] >> Yeah, bro. I went with him. We went to [246:28] the dealership and I I f I told the [246:30] dealer to shut up so I could sell it. [246:32] I'm like, I know everything about this [246:33] car. Let me sell it to my friend. [246:34] >> I was like, I'm going to get a Honda [246:35] Accord. I don't need this. And he was [246:37] like, you want this? You got to get [246:39] this, bro. [246:40] >> I took him to the Mercedes dealership. I [246:42] I explained to him about the S-Class. [246:44] >> Oh, nice. class rules, [246:47] >> bro. [246:47] >> Whoa, mama. That car is That's like a [246:50] Batmobile. [246:52] >> Tracy got that after the accident money [246:54] driving sick cars. [246:55] >> Walmart. [246:56] >> Yeah, that's a crazy car to drive in New [246:58] York. [246:58] >> That's crazy. [246:59] >> There's a Ferrari. [247:00] >> He made all his money on craps. [247:02] >> Yeah. [247:03] >> Tracy Morgan. [247:04] >> Look at that outfit. [247:06] >> Funny. He's got lots of cars. He's just [247:09] driving through like Time Square in them [247:11] in convenient cars. They go to his [247:12] house. [247:12] >> Click on that one where your your cursor [247:14] is. [247:15] Look at that. He's got a Lambo Roadster. [247:18] >> Jesus. Jeez. [247:20] >> That's the one he's driving right here, [247:21] I think. [247:21] >> Yeah, baby. [247:23] >> Wait, what was I going to say? [247:24] >> Fun. But where are you going to park it? [247:25] >> And driving that thing in New York City [247:27] is crazy. [247:29] >> New York. Every time I go to New York [247:30] City, I'm like, this is so nuts. [247:32] >> How does anybody drive here? [247:34] >> It's a wild place to live. [247:35] >> New York City. [247:36] >> You still got that little BMW? [247:37] >> I do. I drove it the other day. That car [247:39] runs like a canyon. I've never had a [247:41] problem with it. [247:42] >> It's so good. I washed it outside my [247:44] house like an American. Just hose, [247:46] bucket, sponge. Felt good. Nice. [247:49] >> Yeah. 2002, right? That's what it is. [247:51] >> The roundy. [247:51] >> Yeah. [247:52] >> The round tail lights. [247:53] >> Great little old car. Those little old [247:55] ones. Those 2002 BMWs from Was it from [247:58] the 70s? [247:58] >> Uh 73. [248:00] >> Yeah. It's a [ __ ] great car. [248:01] >> Great car. No AC, no registration, no [248:04] insurance. [248:04] >> Manual. [248:05] >> I'm riding dirty. Yeah. [248:06] >> You No, no insurance. [248:08] >> I tried to fill it out. I couldn't do [248:09] it. [248:10] >> What does that mean? I tried to get the [248:12] forms and [248:13] >> they're going to target you now. [248:14] >> You can't say that on the air. [248:15] >> Oh, it's illegal. [248:17] >> Well, I've been doing it for years. [248:18] >> Insurance. [248:19] >> I have insurance. [248:20] >> I've been doing it for years. [248:21] >> I have insurance. [248:22] >> I don't have health insurance either. [248:24] >> You don't? [248:24] >> I got to figure that one out. [248:26] >> Wow. [248:26] >> I'm not good with um for things. Me, [248:29] too. I get I get like [248:31] >> I just black out. I I gloss over. [248:33] >> I can't. [248:34] >> You got to get get a guy. [248:35] >> I got to get a guy. I need a Jew. Ari [248:38] >> Yeah. Sometimes the problem is like I'm [248:39] paying $600 from I'll fill out the form [248:42] and then you're like [248:44] >> well here's the thing. I haven't had [248:45] health insurance in years and I've never [248:47] had a health problem. [248:48] >> So I feel like I saved [248:50] >> you did [248:50] >> thousands and thou tens of thousands of [248:52] dollars. [248:52] >> You definitely did. [248:54] >> Well then you feel like with the whole [248:56] Luigi thing like when you find out about [248:58] how many people that have real [248:59] legitimate claims and get denied because [249:02] the insurance companies just want to [249:03] [ __ ] you. I was talking to Brigham they [249:05] said 10% of people that get denied [249:06] follow up. So that's their business [249:08] model is like just say no and hopefully [249:10] they go away. [249:11] >> We uh we looked this up last time. It [249:12] costs Americans more to have private [249:14] healthcare than public. [249:16] >> Wow. I believe it. [249:17] >> Wow. So what are we doing? [249:19] >> Let's get it going, folks. [249:20] >> We got to get rid of these gay lobbies. [249:22] >> Yeah. To do things. [249:22] >> It cost Say that again. It cost [249:24] Americans what? [249:24] >> Costs more to have private healthcare [249:26] than public. [249:28] >> Cost more [249:30] >> to have private healthcare. [249:32] >> Yeah. It costs average Americans pay [249:34] more for private healthcare than it [249:36] would cost to have [249:38] >> I get what you're saying. Okay. [249:40] >> Um [249:40] >> because most things private I get why [249:42] you're confused. [249:43] >> Private sounds better. Oh, private [249:46] >> private security costs more than [249:48] whatever. But [249:49] >> that I'm probably wording that wrong. [249:51] Yeah. Yeah, I get it now. [249:52] >> I know what you're saying. [249:52] >> I get what you're saying. [249:54] >> Yeah. See, this is a good podcast. [249:55] People want to hear a solid drunk [249:57] talking about [249:58] >> super good opinions. [250:00] >> Jamie Grant. Jamie, bring up uh [250:02] >> Robert E. Lee. [250:05] Don't get me started on getting me [250:07] started on custard rules. [250:09] >> Freeird. [250:09] >> Teddy. Teddy. I know it's hack, but [250:11] Teddy Roosevelt [250:14] Poke Poke's a deep cut. Poke's somebody [250:16] got poke rules. [250:17] >> Teddy Roosevelt is the reason why we [250:19] have national parks. [250:20] >> Yeah. [250:20] >> Yes. A lot of stuff. [250:23] >> Retire from president and go, I'm just [250:25] going to go risk my life. But I think it [250:26] was Teddy who did the uh he called it [250:28] the square deal, which is kind of what [250:30] we're approaching, which he broke up all [250:32] the uh guys that were making all the [250:36] money, the the 1% basically. [250:37] >> Yeah. [250:38] >> And he called it the square deal. Was [250:39] that Teddy? [250:40] >> Wow. [250:41] >> Yeah. Focused on the three C's. Fair [250:43] consumer protection, control of giant [250:45] corporations, and conservation of [250:46] natural. [250:47] >> So we're getting close to We need [250:48] another [250:49] >> where somebody's willing to abuse their [250:51] executive power to shut down whatever [250:53] the [ __ ] we're doing right now. But the [250:55] thing is, like, don't you think that big [250:57] business and corporations and super PACs [251:01] and all these different things have [251:02] gotten so deeply entwined in politics [251:04] that if a guy ever tried to do anything [251:08] remotely like that, they'd kill him. [251:09] >> Yeah, we went too far. I mean, look, we [251:11] thought Trump was going to do it. It's [251:13] clearly he's not going to do any of [251:14] those things. [251:15] >> He's not, [251:17] you know, we're gonna have to one or two [251:18] guys are going to have to get shot in [251:20] the head. Yeah, [251:22] >> I'm not going to do it. Or something [251:24] else going to have to happen. Some some [251:26] other radical change. [251:27] >> They're so intertwined now. It's like [251:29] you can't [251:30] >> There's so much dirty money. [251:31] >> What What are we going to give up, [251:32] fellas? [251:33] >> No, [251:33] >> we can't lose it. [251:34] >> No, we got a good thing going. [251:35] >> We got to get somebody in there. Killing [251:37] the politicians. [251:38] >> Slowly but surely, people try to turn [251:42] everything into some sort of a [251:45] totalitarian government. They slowly [251:48] want more and more power, more and more [251:50] control. They want more to siphon more [251:52] and more money. It's just over time [251:54] that's always what you're fighting [251:55] against. Always. [251:56] >> But don't you feel like we're at a [251:57] boiling point? It feels like something's [251:59] going to happen. [251:59] >> Yeah. It's pitchfork era. [252:00] >> Something should happen because if it [252:02] doesn't happen, then we're all going to [252:03] be [ __ ] [252:03] >> No one can get a home. No one can pay [252:05] their bills. [252:06] >> They got roommates. [252:09] >> Yeah, we're talking about communism. [252:10] Upper West Side where your people live. [252:12] You know that it's like devoid of flock [252:13] cameras. It's one spot actually. Very [252:16] weird. Yeah, [252:16] >> that can't be true. [252:18] >> Complexity, Jamie. [252:19] >> Uh, [252:20] >> one section of New York City is devoid [252:21] of flot cameras. [252:22] >> What's a flock camera? [252:23] >> It's these weird [ __ ] cameras that [252:25] are everywhere. [252:25] >> AI is going to say that's not true. [252:27] >> Everything's fine. Everything's a [252:29] camera. [252:30] >> Everything's fine. [252:31] >> The spy cameras. [252:32] >> Yeah, those cameras that are everywhere. [252:34] Like I had Mark Andre on who invests in [252:36] flock cameras and it was right at See [252:38] that? That's the spot upper west side. [252:40] >> Well, half of that half of that is [252:42] >> Central Park. [252:42] >> Shut the [ __ ] up, [ __ ] [252:45] The flock cameras are in Central Park [252:47] where the rest is. [252:49] >> Of course you defend it. [252:50] >> Well, I mean just like show you defend [252:52] it. [252:52] >> Just like move that red line up cameras [252:55] on the other side. [252:56] >> Shut up. Double the [252:58] >> But there's Jews all over Brooklyn. [252:59] >> Why don't you put a little box on your [253:00] for the [ __ ] up? [253:03] >> It's just the wealthy. [253:06] >> It is the wealthy. It's probably that [253:07] too. It's probably wealthy. Yeah, but [253:09] that's [253:09] >> because Upper West Side expensive real [253:11] estate [253:12] >> Jewish people. It is. Listen, it's not [253:15] 100%. There's a ton of [ __ ] Gentiles [253:18] in the Upper West Side. [253:20] >> It's just rich people. That's really [253:21] what it is. I bet Upper East Side is [253:23] probably pretty [ __ ] similar. Upper [253:24] East [253:27] cameras. [253:27] >> The Upper West Side is notably Jewish. [253:30] >> Yeah, true. But in terms of flock [253:32] cameras, I wonder if they're singling [253:35] out the Upper West Side versus the Upper [253:37] East Side. I bet the Upper East Side, [253:38] which is also like super wealthy. [253:40] >> I bet they don't have a lot of flock [253:41] cameras. What? For what? Rob cars. [253:46] >> They're not flock brand. Sorry for the [253:49] confusion. However, there are a few [253:51] flock cams in New York City. So, there's [253:53] just a bunch of security cameras all [253:55] over the place that we didn't see [253:57] coming. So, the thing is it's like [253:59] within within two years, there's been [254:02] hundreds of thousands of these cameras [254:04] installed all over the country. [254:05] >> Police date. [254:06] >> Yeah. And real quick, like before you [254:09] even saw it happening, [254:10] >> I mean, they're everywhere there. [254:12] They're everywhere. You can't I've [254:13] looked to see what I can shoplift. I'm [254:14] like, damn, there's cameras everywhere [254:16] here. [254:18] >> Yeah, it's a tough time. Something's got [254:20] to give. [254:21] >> Police state. What happened here? [254:22] >> It's a tough time and awesome time at [254:24] the same time. [254:24] >> That's true. Let's look at the positive. [254:26] It's a lot of great. [254:28] >> Yeah, we got college football coming [254:29] that they're trying to ruin. [254:30] >> Yeah. [254:30] >> Who's trying to ruin it? [254:31] >> NIL. Not a big deal. [254:33] >> In what way? [254:34] >> Trying to take it away. [254:35] >> Don't get me started. What are they [254:36] trying to do? [254:38] >> Super conferences there. I mean, the [254:39] whole thing's a disaster, Joe. [254:41] >> Also, they're gambling on basketball [254:42] now. Players are just fully throwing [254:44] games and like you see that [254:45] >> the gambling's out of control. [254:47] >> The game was crazy trying to get [254:48] rebounds to get whatever market all that [254:51] [ __ ] [254:51] >> Wow. On that, I feel like I like the [254:55] fact that you can gamble on anything if [254:57] you want to. [254:57] >> Can you gamble on when the next Project [254:59] Parks is? Is that a cashy thing you can [255:00] do? [255:02] >> I bet you could. I bet that's a poly [255:04] market thing. [255:04] >> But we don't even know. Like how do they [255:05] know? [255:06] >> But we will. [255:07] >> Yeah. [255:08] >> Well, Jamie pulled up. [255:10] >> There was a poly market thing. [255:12] >> There was a poly market thing on on this [255:15] podcast. [255:16] >> There was a thing on this podcast that [255:18] Jamie pulled up. I go, "Close that [255:19] website and never open it up again." [255:21] >> Like, you can't know like you can't know [255:23] what people are gambling on. [255:25] >> Oh. [255:26] >> You know, cuz it can't influence you. [255:28] Also, like I don't want anybody else to [255:30] know either what they're gambling on. [255:31] Like I don't you they'll get you [255:34] >> but [255:35] >> gambling's tough. It's going to ruin [255:36] >> Didn't that [ __ ] congressman guy who [255:38] got acquitted the gay guy? [255:40] >> Yes. [255:41] >> The guy from Brazil. [255:42] >> Oh [255:43] >> the guy from Brazil. [255:44] >> No, no, no. What's his name? [255:46] >> Polo. [255:46] >> The one who lies about a bunch of stuff. [255:48] >> Yes. I swear to Joseph [255:50] >> Jamie. You know who I'm talking about. [255:51] >> Chubby boy. [255:51] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [255:52] >> Chubby gay guy like volleyball. [255:54] >> Funny dude. Apparently George Santos. [255:57] >> George Santos. Santos. There was [255:58] something about him saying that he was [256:00] going to show up at some State of the [256:02] Union speech. I'm definitely showing up. [256:03] And then he vote he bet that he wouldn't [256:06] show up. [256:06] >> Wow. [256:07] >> And he didn't show up. [256:09] >> That's pretty smart. [256:10] >> Allegedly. Allegedly. DOJ is [256:13] investigating former Congressman George [256:14] Santos for insider trading on Koshi. [256:17] Yeah. Hilarious. [256:19] >> So you can't insider trade on Koshi? [256:21] >> But I mean it's like like [256:23] Gabbert had on. It was like why are you [256:25] lying about everything? [256:26] He's like, [256:27] >> "Oh, he lied about everything. He lied [256:28] about being Jewish." He said, "No, no, [256:29] I'm Jewish. [256:32] >> I'm kind of I act like a Jew." He's [256:35] like, "Fucking totally full of shit." [256:37] >> I'm just saying I'm like frugal. [256:40] >> I get a lot of diarrhea. [256:43] >> I get a lot of diarrhea. [256:45] >> You should go to a doctor, dude. [256:47] Shouldn't just deal with that. [256:48] >> But I think the internet is a big part [256:50] of why we're so [ __ ] But you can't [256:51] get rid of the internet. [256:52] >> Well, I I hate regulation, but you got [256:54] to do something with So what do we do? [256:56] That's what I'm saying. [256:57] >> Regulating that. It's so bad for people. [256:59] >> It's horrible. It's ruined. [257:00] >> Well, you got to teach people to stay [257:01] off it. [257:02] >> But also, you got to be like society. [257:04] You're you're turning everyone against [257:05] each other in a crazy. [257:07] >> But the problem is they're made they've [257:09] made so much money doing it. And there's [257:11] so much money now these corporations are [257:13] holding that they have so much influence [257:15] over politicians. It's it's really an [257:17] extraordinary time where these tech [257:19] oligarchs are really in control of a [257:21] giant chunk of the narrative that shapes [257:23] society. It shapes our economy, shapes [257:26] our our our social systems. It shapes [257:28] everything. All there's so much going on [257:31] right now that it's being manipulated by [257:33] just a small amount of people. It's kind [257:35] of kind of [ __ ] nuts. And nobody saw [257:37] it coming. [257:38] >> They make comedians turn in other [257:39] comedians so they could sell everybody [257:41] Snickers. [257:41] >> I got to pee again. [257:43] >> Have you not gone yet? [257:44] >> Not yet. [257:45] >> He's had three drinks. [257:46] >> I'll see you. [257:47] >> He's on his third. [257:48] >> Amazing. [257:49] >> Hey, beer bong. Couple other beers. [257:53] Whiskey. I'm blown out. [257:54] >> One, this is your second whiskey. [257:56] >> Third whiskey. Long [257:58] >> a little dram. Give me a dram of that. [258:00] >> Hit it, baby. Can you catch it? [258:02] >> Yes. [258:03] >> That's a lot of glass. [258:04] >> You got to. Yeah, [258:06] >> that's short. [258:07] >> Oh, sorry. [258:08] >> I came back for it. Steve Lar, [258:09] >> you got it. You got it. [258:11] >> All right. [258:12] >> All right, J Mo. Toss up. [258:13] >> We got to figure out what we're doing [258:15] tonight [258:16] cuz I don't want you to go to bed. If [258:18] you go home, it's over. [258:19] >> We got to It's like naps over. I'm just [258:22] not doing a stand up right now. [258:23] >> No, I'm not doing stand up tonight. [258:24] >> Oh, really? [258:25] >> Yeah, I'm we're going out. [258:26] >> Stand up right now. [258:27] >> Should I not do stand up? [258:28] >> Yeah, we're gonna go. We're gonna be [258:29] till 9:30 before I get out of there. [258:30] It's like we're gonna start. [258:31] >> Yeah, I'm definitely [258:33] >> I'm not going to the club. I'm going to [258:34] go. [258:34] >> O'Neal's coming out. Edge is coming out. [258:36] >> Oh, nice. [258:37] >> You keep saying the edge. [258:39] >> The edge. [258:40] >> I didn't know his nickname either. How [258:41] do we know his nickname? [258:42] >> The edge. [258:43] >> Call him the edge. Who started calling [258:44] him the edge? [258:46] >> Tony. [258:47] >> Tony calls him the edge. [258:49] >> We all do. I'll never the edge, dude. If [258:51] you're getting your juice from Tony, [258:53] you're gay. [258:53] >> No, we all do. [258:55] >> Did you Tony calls him the edge? [258:57] >> We all call him the edge. [258:58] >> Did y'all go to the garden where you [259:00] guys were in town? [259:00] >> I was in London, England. [259:02] >> Okay. [259:02] >> In Charleston, South Carolina. [259:03] >> That was an SF. [259:06] >> That's a great town. [259:07] >> San Francisco rules. It's [259:08] >> San Francisco does rule. [259:09] >> It's on its way back. [259:10] >> I always thought it ruled even in its [259:12] darkest hour. I thought it was a good [259:14] >> I like the signs they put up like, "Hey, [259:15] if you leave anything in your car, it [259:16] won't be there." [259:18] >> It's not even like, "Hey, we'll try to [259:19] help." It's like just don't do that. [259:20] >> Yeah. It's super rich people. [259:22] >> It's a good bar hopping town. [259:24] >> Yeah. [259:24] >> Great tiki bar town. [259:26] >> Yes. Yes. The water. [259:28] >> Great Chinese food. [259:29] >> The Italian food. North Beach. [259:30] >> Oh, Italian food, too. It's great there. [259:33] San Francisco does rule. [259:34] >> Oh my god. And it's walk. You can walk [259:36] across the whole. [259:36] >> It's great if you like the smell of [259:37] human [ __ ] [259:38] >> There is some human [ __ ] [259:40] >> It's amazing. If you like the smell. [259:41] >> You got to ignore that. You got to [259:42] ignore. Yeah. It's good. If you're a [259:44] black lad, [259:46] >> if you're a golden, if you're a golden [259:47] retriever, you're going to love it. [259:49] >> Yeah. The whole city smells nuts. [259:52] >> Hobos and New York City. You be like, [259:55] "What?" [259:55] >> Chinatown of the summer. You're like, [259:57] "Oh my god." Bring a dog. Trust me, you [260:00] don't even know where to like crazy. I'm [260:03] just going to squat right here. This [260:05] place is nuts. It's giant toilet. [260:07] >> Used to be so good, [260:09] >> dude. I did a special there in 2016 and [260:12] there was nothing wrong with the city [260:14] >> where [260:14] >> at the Fillmore in San Francisco and it [260:17] was amaz triggered. I did triggered at [260:19] the Fillmore. [260:19] >> It's back. Their new mayor is like we [260:21] got to get live music here because if [260:22] people don't go out it won't reverse. [260:24] >> The new mayor is ready to clean things [260:25] up [260:27] >> starting with live music. You got to go [260:28] have people come out to stuff. [260:30] >> You got to patrol the streets. Clean up [260:33] the homeless encampments. You got to put [260:35] people in mental institutions. You got [260:36] to get them clean. [260:38] >> Use Alcatraz. It's right there. Put them [260:40] all in there. [260:40] >> It's going to take time. It's like you [260:43] they [ __ ] it up over the period over a [260:45] period of 8 to 10 years. It's going to [260:47] take 30 to fix it. [260:49] >> It's going to take so long to fix it. [260:52] It's always been homeless. [260:52] >> And there's so many people that are so [260:54] attached to that whole ideology has [260:57] always been great. [260:58] >> Always. But like 20 years where we're at [261:01] right now. [261:01] >> No, no. I'm saying San Francisco's never [261:03] been like a clean. Listen to me. I'm [261:05] right now. [261:08] I remember during the Reagan [261:09] administration [261:11] >> during the Reagan here too. It's not I'm [261:13] saying it's not just it got bad there. [261:17] >> There's always been [261:18] >> during the Reagan administration that's [261:21] when homeless people really started [261:23] becoming a thing because they changed [261:24] the whole distinction with mental [261:26] institutions. They let people go and [261:28] they just let them out and they were [261:30] just wandering around. It was [261:31] noticeable. And I remember this. And [261:33] then it really didn't [ __ ] change [261:35] until like 2016 17. Then you started to [261:39] see tents [261:40] >> and it was like this is weird. They're [261:42] they're just allowing tents and then 181 [261:44] 19 it ramped up and then during the [261:46] pandemic it just caught fire. [261:48] >> Yeah. [261:48] >> Yeah. It's bad. [261:49] >> LA was like just downtown a little [261:51] pocket and then it spread all the way to [261:53] like [261:53] >> Oh, it wasn't a little pocket, dude. I [261:55] was filming Fear Factor there. [261:58] >> 55. What? No, it's all over. [262:00] >> Skid Row is 55 blocks. [262:03] >> It's spread all the way down Sunset. [262:04] It's everywhere. It was just [262:06] >> Skid Row is the whole city. [262:08] >> Yeah, the city's great, but the solid 55 [262:11] blocks is Skid Row. [262:13] >> It's wild. [262:14] >> Burn it, dude. [262:15] >> Burn it from zombies, just throw bears [262:19] out there or something. Just run them [262:20] over. Kill them. Eat them. [262:21] >> You got to do something. [262:22] >> Well, I was in the the Tenderloin at a [262:24] hotel and they go I go, "What should I [262:25] do around here?" I was asking the desk [262:27] lady. She goes, "Don't turn right." [262:29] >> Wow. Don't turn. That's the hotel lady. [262:31] Don't go to the right. Just go left. [262:33] Like that's half the city. [262:34] >> Meanwhile, how what's the invisible [262:37] barrier? They have dog collars on with [262:38] electricity. Like what's what's stopping [262:40] them from going left? [262:42] >> New York's good right now. [262:43] >> New York's fine. [262:45] >> Jiannis has the best quote about [262:46] >> regular homeless. [262:47] >> Yeah, regular. Jiannis says this. He [262:48] goes, [262:49] >> "The problem New York City homeless [262:51] doesn't got out of line because every 10 [262:52] years or so, we burn one alive." [262:55] >> So they know their place. an immigrant [262:57] shows up and lights on fire and you go, [262:59] "Hey, you know, [263:01] >> keeps you in check." Now they're all [263:02] like tap dancing and [ __ ] They got at [263:03] least a New York homeless guy has got [263:05] like moves, [263:06] >> you know? Well, I I always had a [263:09] preference for East Coast homeless. [263:11] They're heroin. They were asleep [263:12] >> and they go away in the winter. They [263:14] don't breathe during the winter. [263:14] >> They're sleeping. [263:15] >> They dance. [263:16] >> West Coast homeless are all meth. [263:17] They'll scream and chase you. [263:19] >> Oh, you go to Salt Lake City, you're [263:21] going to get chased. [263:21] >> Screaming and chasing. [263:22] >> They have bad homes. Oh, [263:23] >> Salt Lake City is bad for homeless [263:25] methodone, [263:26] >> dude. But that was quick. That was quick [263:29] because I remember when I started stand [263:31] up out in Salt Lake, I was like, "This [263:32] is the best city." [263:33] >> Yeah. [263:34] >> This is the cleanest, nicest city. [263:35] >> Wise guys. Yeah. Beautiful. [263:36] >> On the way in, I was telling my buddies, [263:38] I was like, "Wait till you see how nice [263:39] this is." [263:40] >> Then we landed and it was 10 homeless [263:42] guys chasing us. [263:44] >> And then you got to bring them young and [263:45] it's like utopia that campus. [263:48] >> Yeah. The Mormons. Yeah. [263:49] >> The Mormons don't [ __ ] around. [263:50] >> Homeless. Yeah. But that's like I don't [263:53] know why no one's talking about that in [263:54] politics. [263:55] >> Homelessness. [263:55] >> Homelessness and and fent. Yeah. Clean [263:58] it up. I don't see any party talking [263:59] about it. [264:00] >> I mean they they do when it comes around [264:02] but it's insensitive. [264:03] >> The problem is there's so much money in [264:05] maintaining it. [264:06] >> Ah [264:07] >> that's true. [264:08] >> Money and homelessness. What a what a [264:10] breaking cars. [264:11] >> $4 billion [264:13] California spent and done nothing but [264:16] increase the homelessness. [264:17] >> Wow. M the wrong area burned [264:20] >> and every every city every big city it's [264:22] explodes. [264:23] >> Yep. And it's recent. It's a new thing. [264:25] And and you know LA has had Skid Row [264:28] forever because what they would used to [264:29] do with Skid Row is they would take [264:30] people from like if there was a vagrant [264:33] in Hollywood. They would take them and [264:34] they would just put them in Skid Row and [264:36] they stay here and they would literally [264:37] like block them in. They would give them [264:39] like food and services. It wasn't that [264:42] small, dude. It's an illusion. I was [264:43] filming Fear Factor there in like 2004 [264:46] or five and I was driving home and I [264:48] took the wrong turn. I was like, "What [264:50] the fuck?" It was just blocks and blocks [264:54] of cardboard boxes. Yes. [264:58] >> And it was only Skid Row. Skid Row was [265:00] nuts, man. It was Even then it was nuts. [265:02] Now it's 55 [265:05] blocks. Do you understand how insane [265:07] that is? [265:08] >> Like what 55 blocks looks like on a [265:10] grid? [265:10] >> No, it's it's it's always been that [265:12] size, I think. That's Yeah, I know. [265:14] >> Back in the 30s there was somewhere in [265:16] the range of 10,000 homeless people [265:18] there and there's 4,400 now. [265:20] >> There's zero chance. [265:21] >> There's more homeless people now than [265:23] there were in the 30s or in the 30s [265:25] there was more than there is now. [265:26] >> No, that was the population of LA. [265:29] >> Wait a minute. How many are there now? [265:30] How many are there now? [265:31] >> It says 4,400. [265:33] >> Shut the [265:36] liberal.com. You [265:37] >> never get an AI answer and they go, "Are [265:38] you sure about that?" They go, "Yeah, [265:40] good point." [265:40] >> Jamie's a goddamn fed. This is this is [265:43] all Karen Bass her statistics [265:47] click [ __ ] no it's estimated it's now [265:49] estimated 4400 the population has been [265:52] there since the 30s but it wasn't that [265:53] number [265:55] in the 30s okay but put this estimate in [265:57] how many homeless people are there in LA [265:59] cuz the estimate is somewhere north of [266:02] 70,000 [266:03] >> I think it's spread past [266:06] citation [266:07] >> which one uh number what was it [266:09] estimated [266:10] appealing [266:14] >> from LA Times and [266:15] >> 2023 LA Times liberal. [266:19] >> Well, I mean [266:22] >> 2023 [266:24] Biden administration I don't believe [266:25] that there's so 55 blocks is not 4,000 [266:29] people. It's just not it's a lot more [266:31] than that. They they lie. [266:33] >> I think it's past also they're not [266:35] showing up and saying Mike are you [266:38] homeless? They're They're not They [266:40] chasing They don't have an accurate [266:41] count. Okay. [266:43] >> Los Angeles has approximately 73,000 [266:48] homeless people in Los Angeles County [266:50] and 45,000 are the city of Los Angeles. [266:53] And by the way, just a guess. They're [266:56] not accurate. They're not doing a great [266:58] job of it. [266:58] >> It says only a 3% increase over two [267:00] years earlier, which is a lot. [267:02] >> Shut your dirty hole, you lying [267:03] communist. [267:06] >> It's It's probably a hundred,000 They [267:08] don't even know. People move there just [267:10] for the services [267:11] >> and the weather. [267:12] >> Yeah. Yeah. It's a great place to be [267:13] homeless. You could survive sleeping on [267:15] the street. You don't freeze. [267:17] >> Hanging outside Trey's house. [267:19] >> They say they're testing the fent on the [267:21] dogs. [267:22] >> What do you mean? [267:22] >> You hear that? [267:23] >> No. [267:23] >> What? [267:25] See if they die. [267:26] >> Yeah. See if it's it'll kill them. So [267:28] they hit dogs. [267:29] >> Oh my god. [267:29] >> That's the rumor. [267:30] >> Jesus Christ. [267:31] >> It's all real. [267:32] >> Oh god. [267:33] >> The reals are nuts. [267:34] >> I know. It's bad news. Your info [267:36] >> mostly. Yeah. that and your dad [267:38] >> people. [267:39] >> Well, that's AI Dogs and then I get, you [267:41] know, like [267:41] >> boys, let's wrap this up. [267:43] >> All right. All right. It's almost six [267:44] o'clock. [267:45] >> Everybody go see Tires. It's on Netflix [267:47] right now. [267:49] >> Everybody text message Ari cuz I know [267:52] you got his phone number and tell him [267:53] get the [ __ ] out of England. [267:55] >> But do find me mushrooms or weed. I'm [267:57] definitely need that. [267:58] >> Um Mark Norman, where you where you at? [268:00] Where you doing? [268:01] >> I'm going over the road. Check my [268:03] website. I'm doing clubs and build new [268:05] hour. We might be drunk Tuesday stories. [268:08] I got an hour on Netflix that came out [268:09] this year. We not too pleased. I'll see [268:12] you all in hell. Praise Allah. [268:14] >> comedymothership.com. Love you guys. [268:16] Bye.